GAME: Hook my first line and sink her in to a paragraph!

There, on the third shelf, just next to a lovingly battered dictionary, stood the muse. It was smaller than Daphne had expected, hardly more than an inch tall. It looked like a roughly human-shaped cylinder of white light. Daphne was tempted to touch it, but was aware of the danger. When it spoke, its voice was like a distant wind rustling through pine needles, coming from everywhere all at once. "Why have you invoked me?"

___________________________________________________________

When I was nine years old, I fell in a deep hole.
 
There, on the third shelf sat a little Gnome. Only six inches tall, the tiny, cute little beggar was finicking about with some magic dust. I had seen such
pesky little varmints before, of course, usually after not sleeping for six days, but his munchkin was cuter than most so I held off on swatting him until I took a picture. Then, kind-hearted ogre that I am, I carefully picked up the little hobbit-thing and flipped him out the window, outside with the other
mythical critters where he belonged.

The little people came in the night and Judy was delighted.
 
When I was nine years old, I fell in a deep hole. The little people came in the night, and Judy was delighted. But I wasnt. They tried to eat me. Fortunately I wasnt very tasty. Judy had to pull me out the next morning, and was cross about it. I never trusted her after that.


---
When the train pulled in at midnight, more people got off than on.
 
When the train pulled in at midnight, more people got off than on. This continued, at every station, until I was the only person left aboard. I wandered forward into the engine room and made a wonderful discovery. I was on a Space-Train! - and could go anywhere I liked in the Galaxy. Unfortunately the fare to even nearby solar bodies was approximately
equal to the national budget of Russia for a fifty year period. So I got off at Albequerque and headed for skid row.

T^here's nobody I trust more than good old Mr. Skibbley.
 
T^here's nobody I trust more than good old Mr. Skibbley. E^very morning you can count on him being in his usual spot at the corner of Elm and Davis streets. I^n his lap sits the same old cap, worn from years of use. O^ne of these days he'll put it on his head, and the Martians will come back. U^ntil then, I'll just toss a coin into it.

Brightly colored balloons covered the sky, nearly blocking out the sunlight.
 
Brightly colored balloons covered the sky, nearly blocking out the sunlight. Cheerful clowns frolicked and childred chuckled cheerily as Amelia sat poking at a cellphone in section 27,row 276, seat #47. This, unbeknownst to her, was the exact seat in which a terrible terrible event had occured. A cursed seat, a demon-haunted bit of plastic upon which Amelia now perched in annoyance, ignoring all the balloons and excitement until suddenly the very terrible thing happened again, and this time it was all she wrote.

Amelia found herself in a real pickle and she hated pickles.
 
Amelia found herself in a real pickle and she hated pickles. She hated all vinegar preserved matter. At the heart of it all, she hated VINEGAR! And she was in it, preserved, in a pickle for sure...She pushed against the soft skin and it burst through. Light came in, which felt good, but she couldn't help feeling that she'd burst open an eye. The 'Pop', both savoury and sickly. Then the light gave way, and she saw it... A glass onion bigger than Jupiter. It was then that she decided, she hated all shadow forming things.

Everyday at the same time, he would wait at the same place.
 
Everyday at the same time, he would wait at the same place. Sitting on the park bench, watching the crowds stream by, he waited for Amy to show herself. She had taken that drink from the forbidden fountain, and the results had been immediate. As she fell into the pool, he had watched as her body transformed. Now he could only sit there while the attendant began throwing food into the water. Then he saw her as she leaped from the surface, her scales gleaming in the sun. Did she look his way?

Driving home was one of the few times I was alone during the day.
 
Driving home was one of the few times I was alone during the day. Thus, when Amy popped up in the back seat and said 'Boo!' I nearly swerved off the road into the swamp. I turned to chastise her but she was crawling into the front seat and jabbing a gun into my ribs. Apparently we were going to Disneyland.

An undead dog requires human blood and Rover was eying the children again.
 
An undead dog requires human blood and Rover was eyeing the children again.

“Rover! Down Boy!” he pulled tightly on the leash, these things were strong!

An attractive young woman stopped jogging and stood beside him looking down at the beast.
“Cute name for an undead. Do you feed him?”

“No. He gets nothing. Unless of course we get burgled” he smiled at the woman,
his masculinity it seemed, proven by the control he had over the chain.
“You just can't beat these things for home security” he added, “No vet bills. No feeding costs.”

“Oh, I don't think I'd be able to sleep if I had one of those in my house. I think I'll hold on to my trusty laser canon
for now.” She gave him a sympathetic smile and jogged on.

----------------------------------------

This prison had no walls, and no bars, but it
was still very much a prison.
 
This prison had no walls, and no bars, but it was still very much a prison. The tiny explosive device implanted at the base of her skull ensured that Brianna would stay within the perimeter, marked by white stones set in the ground. The city was only a kilometer away, but it might as well have been on the moon. She would not see her children or husband again, until her sentence was up.

The coffeemaker was cranky this morning, making all sorts of strange noises.
 
The coffeemaker was cranky this morning, making all sorts of strange noises.I patted her on the shoulder and tore off a length of kitchen roll to wipe her eyes and nose, and made the most sympathetic noises I could manage, but I've never been very effective either with lower classes or females. Ultimately I took the pot away and prepared it myself, along with hot, sweet tea for the girl. Admittedly, her daughter dying during the night had been a considerable shock, for all of us, but coffee is coffee, and nothing should come before it.

Admittedly the small asteroid striking Westminster palace was inconvenient.
 
Admittedly the small asteroid striking Westminster palace was inconvenient. However, it had inadvertently solved the current crisis of succession. Coming as it did during the coronation banquet of George VIII, who many saw as a usurper, the entire royal family in England was wiped out in a flash. After an extended genealogical search, no suitable candidate could be found, and Parliament agreed to raffle off the monarchy in a national lottery to solve two problems at once, an empty chair and the national debt. Tickets are still available at your local lottery retailers.

Kermichil Monhollen couldn't believe his luck when he won the Monarch Lottery of Great Britain.
 
Kermichil Monhollen couldn't believe his luck when he won the Monarch Lottery of Great Britain. He imagined, for a moment, how silly he'd look with a crown on his head, scepter in hand, presiding over some essentially meaningless state function. He'd bought the ticket on a drunken whim after all, along with a bag of crisps and a Cadbury's. All at once though, the ramifications of this came into focus and he nearly vomited. His father was going to kill him. The heir apparent of the most powerful empire in the galaxy could hardly been seen to stoop so low as to perform in the pathetic circus of human affairs. He wasn't even supposed to be on this backwater planet in the first place. A knock came at the door. He was going to have to get out of here. Fast.

Sitting on the pile of dirt next to the hole he'd dug, he peered down into the battered wooden box he'd found, at the tiny metal man cracking his knuckles and grinning.
 
Sitting on the pile of dirt next to the hole he'd dug, he peered down into the battered wooden box he'd found, at the tiny metal man cracking his knuckles and grinning. The robot-digger was an inexpensive model so he blasted it to bits with his phazer before removing the chest of alien pirate gold, one of many he'd found lately. He didn't know what to do with all the gold anymore, it was stacked in heaps in his house, like Smaug's treasure horde, and he was going to have to throw some of it out soon. Still, better safe than sorry, and he fully intended to keep amassing gold in case the Earth recovered
from being destroyed by a passing mystery planet (on Sept. 24th 2015 at precisely 7:46 PM) and he had the robots to keep him company. He didn't trust them, they were after his gold, to upgrade their circuit boards, but he was onto them now, and actually rather enjoyed blasting them to bits whenever convenient.

Amy wandered into the living room and her eyes were blanked out like in a cheap horror movie.
 
Amy wandered into the living room and her eyes were blanked out like in a cheap horror movie. It was the new smart contact lenses, of course. Madeline smirked. She looked more like Little Orphan Annie than a zombie. "I'd go back to violet cat's eyes if I were you, dear."

___________________________________________________________________

I have always been fond of rain.
 
I have always been fond of rain. Also, baths, showers, dippings and dunkings, even been sprayed with icy cold water by a passing bus, makes me feel warm inside. Rain is free, it is from the sky where the water-gods dwell, and each drop contains at least one tiny particle of dust, or something, some little bitsy teeeny little bit of rock which is a tiny tiny meteor, or meteorite, from far far off acrost the Galaxy. A fabulous mystery, rain is, as it falls and we are hit with thousands of tiny meteorites and don't even know it! That's why I love the rain.

Hailstones the size of hamburgers hammered Harriet's house and she battened down the hatches.
 
Hailstones the size of hamburgers hammered Harriet’s house and she battened down the hatches. The dire warnings of the meteorologists had not been exaggerated, nor in this case, heeded. The storm of the century was upon them and she was furious with herself for not getting out of town while she had the chance. The wind roared outside, and though she could not see them through the plywood she was nailing over the window, she could hear her prized pecan trees beginning to snap under the relentless assault.

--------------------------------------------------------

As the ground rapidly approached, it occurred to me that I may have made some very poor decisions.
 
As the ground rapidly approached, it occurred to me that I may have made some very poor decisions. The first of these, not wearing a parachute when setting out to walk the fido an hour earlier could be excused - hurricanes in Hereford as the song reminds us, are vanishingly rare, let alone tornados. The second was more my fault. Failing to restrain one's supposedly obedience-trained and thus lead-free canine from treeing, and violently barking at, a random cat does invite invective. However, witches, in the pleasant English countryside, I had always considered rarer than those meteorological phenomena.

As well as straining my joints the umrella was makin absolutely no difference to the amount of sleet-laced rain hitting me.
 
As well as straining my joints the umbrella was makin absolutely no difference to the amount of sleet-laced rain hitting me. I let go and the dollar-store brolly blew off down the boulevard. Then a strange little girl ran up, through the driving rain, and offered to sell me some magic beans; beans that would grow into an umbrella, or even, she said, a small quonset hut, where I would be safe. I was about to hand over my entire fortune, twelve dollars, when I noticed an evil gleam in the little girl's eyeballs. Another bloody alien masquerading as a human, and trying to trick me into one of those cheap alien umbrellas. Well, not this time.

Lost in the haunted woods of dreamland, I could only wonder- where did Wendy go?
 
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