Repeating words over and over again.

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Beef

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Everyone in my work is always sighing. Every time anyone says anything, it is greeted by a sigh. It's not that I don't think they should be sighing so much, I just can't help but thinking it's quite monotonous for the reader to keep reading 'he sighed' 'she sighed'. I'm getting tempted to write elaborate things like 'a sigh escaped her lips' or 'he let out a long sigh' or something like that in order to just mix things up a little.

Or perhaps i'm just losing perspective, and this whole problem is just in my head.

Anyone know how to avoid this problem?
 
Mine shrug.

Like springs and Tecdavid say, I go through and replace the shrugging with something vaguely similar, or just lose it altogether.
 
Hah, I had this come up in a beta read once. With sighing, too. It wasn't until I did a "highlight all" that I actually noticed it.

It's not in your head. These things do stand out. I just read a book recently that used the verb "worm" (as in "He wormed his way into the air duct") constantly. Fine the first time, but it got very annoying very fast.

Luckily, sighing is completely inconsequential and an easy fix. Just change them to similar actions. (Now I'm repeating again!)
 
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It's reassuring to hear i'm not the only one. I think I might have to compile a little glossary of 'sighing' gestures and keep refering back to it!
 
I've just beta read a friend's work and had to point out four overused words/phrases. Like Tecdavid says, try gestures, or use a thesaurus - it's one of my best friends

ps why are they sighing? In real life, someone who sighs all the time is intensely irritating. Stop them doing it, except exceptionally. - Oh dear, I fear I've overused "except".
 
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I have to physically restrain myself from using 'sigh' too often. I should stop making my characters so exasperated, I guess. :rolleyes:
 
Ha, I know this feeling. I've used 'nestling' so much in my WIP a reader might think I'm being sponsored by a global brand.

It depends how unusual the word is, how well it fits and the distance between usages. After every major redraft I've taken to putting all my chapters together in one document, and it's an easy way (with searching) to find out just how close together such things are.

Sighing isn't too bad, I think, provided it isn't all the time. There are already good suggestions for alternatives here and I don't think I can add to them.
 
Your suggestions have all been most helpful guys, appreciated.

prizzley said:
ps why are they sighing? In real life, someone who sighs all the time is intensely irritating. Stop them doing it, except exceptionally. - Oh dear, I fear I've overused "except".
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Boredom. Distaste for a conversation that's being forced on them. Someone who just wants to be left alone. The unwilling protagonist, I think you'd call the archetype. A wee bit like Kurt Russel's character in the first act of John Carpenter's 'The Thing'.

A glance at the thesaurus and i'm thinking a lot of the synonyms for 'sigh' are quite strong. Or perhaps 'sigh' is stronger than I think and i've just read it so many times it's become transparent. If someone 'groans' or 'whines', to me it's almost cartoonish. The thing i'm looking for is a sharp exhalation coming primarily through the nostrils, before you reply with a sort of snappish impatience. Like:

"We're out of sugar puffs" I said.
Bob sighed. "Well why are you telling me for? Go get some."
 
It must be contagious! I had a lot of sighing going on in one of my WIPs recently, too.
 
Said is recommended as a potentially invisible attribution for dialogue.

IMO there's no reason to mention someone sighing unless it's an important action in itself, ie, because the character is resigned or conflicted. In which case, describing the other feelings takes precedence.

Ideally. :D
 
I'd like to suggest the Gertrude Stein route - put alll that sighing into one or two paragraphs, with extra sighing. Then move on, and at other points do the same thing with other words (such as words that start with a particular letter, for example)
 
Beef said:
The thing i'm looking for is a sharp exhalation coming primarily through the nostrils, before you reply with a sort of snappish impatience. Like:

"We're out of sugar puffs" I said.
Bob sighed. "Well why are you telling me for? Go get some."
Click to expand...

Sometimes, though, just by the dialogue itself readers can infer that the reply comes with a snappish impatience and is preceded by a sigh.

So instead of the sigh, you might add or substitute a word or two in the dialogue to something that sounds like it comes out on an exhalation. You already have one right there: puffs.

..."We're out of sugar puffs," I said.
..."Sugar puffs! Why tell me? Go get some."

____

My characters tend to have a lot of knots in their stomachs -- probably because that's how I feel when I'm under stress, it's all in the stomach and gut -- so I have to find different ways of saying that. They also have very active circulations. Their pulses flutter, hearts jump, blood beats loud in their ears, etc. I know there are other ways they could react, but for me it always seems to be about the blood and guts.
 
I've said it before here somewhere, but my characters are always nodding. A bunch of bobbleheads, they are.

Beef said:
The thing i'm looking for is a sharp exhalation coming primarily through the nostrils, before you reply with a sort of snappish impatience. Like:

"We're out of sugar puffs" I said.
Bob sighed. "Well why are you telling me for? Go get some."
Click to expand...

It may just be me, but I wouldn't characterise that as a sigh at all, but rather a snort.
 
springs said:
Control H at the end. I have it with glancing. They're always at it. Control H, find 'em all, change half of them at least. :)
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But don't just change them to "said." Sighed and said, sighed Ted to Ned. Ned said to Ted who sighed, then said...


I'm sure you get the picture here. While that above line may sound humorous, it would quickly become grating...of course, the names aren't the only ones on Earth, but it helps drive the point home.
 
Karn Maeshalanadae said:
But don't just change them to "said." Sighed and said, sighed Ted to Ned. Ned said to Ted who sighed, then said...


I'm sure you get the picture here. While that above line may sound humorous, it would quickly become grating...of course, the names aren't the only ones on Earth, but it helps drive the point home.
Click to expand...
Other names include "Said" which looks like a word we're trying to avoid but is pronounced like another word we're trying to avoid.
"Said said to Said who sighed" rams the point home even more than your Ted & Ned version.

It's not sighs that matter, it's what you do with them. :D
 
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