Sekrit Santa - the guessing thread

[Phyrebrat]

Week turned even more hectic so have still only managed to read two. Have started Glisterspeck's twice!

Anyway, weekend is here so I will catch up. Must say I am particularly looking forward to Hex's as the excerpt grabbed me.

I also used my brain and realised I could re-compile as a Word doc and be under the limit. Here it is for anyone with enough time...warning: it has strong language - don't have nightmares

pH

 

[Glisterspeck]

I just read my story that I sent to Hex again, and realized that it is so different from any version that I might be inclined to submit anywhere in the future that I might as well post it here!

I really liked the story here. Reminded a tiny bit of Dark City, only in reverse, like, completely the opposite, if that makes any sense. And I liked how you gave the age of the little girl through the storyteller's memory of her missing tooth/birthday association. Clever, that.

Is Azrael meant to be the Azrael, or just a reference? Works either way, and I like the reference.

 

[Glisterspeck]

Nether of the stories I wrote knew when to quit. The second one tried to cover two requests at once so that it would be versatile since I had no clues as to who wasnt getting a story (aside from the original I wrote which ended up being redirected as well).

Thank you TDZ, that was my favorite line as well. I came up with it months ago and have been just waiting for a story to come along that would use it. Of course when I put it in I had planned on having it be a lie later in the story. But I ended up having my robots be dragon toys with solar paneled parasols rather than alien invaders who wanted to torture a poor dragon's dreams.

Though I am glad my drive by chicken made it into the samples. It happens to be the moment I'm most proud of. Oddly enough.


Haven't changed the titles I gave them. Sorry for the spoilers there.

and yes, I do plan on keeping them to fiddle with later. They were too much fun not to continue enjoying them.

I liked the space line as well (I find it really hard to write witty, but you have several witty bits sprinkled though out both stories), but my favorite line was the "whirled the sky dizzy" wordplay. Made me smile.

 

[Glisterspeck]

Here's mine. 3511 words.

Did phtrebrat post his? 'cause i don't recall seeing it.
Reading the others today or tomorrow. Fun stuff.

Interesting stuff! I like the space Western aspect, and the ecological message bowls through like a herd of -- well, you know. Indigins for indigenous was a nice touch.

I'm afraid I won't get through Phyrebrat's tonight... looking forward to it though!

 

[Phyrebrat]

Spoilers: Mostly I changed any reference to sexual desire on Artur's part. The gaze full of manly wants stuff I cut, leaving just the knowing look and the wanting to help. In fact, I was thinking about making him a she-bear, but Artur means bear, and as such, his name is one of the requested puns. (All the names included are language puns. Nadia, for example, is Ukrainian for Hope, and Hope requested the story.)

I really liked this story, I read them all last week and have been trying to get on here to say thanks to the authors.

Spoiler: Funny, I thought Nadia was a play on the water nymphs called Naiads in Greek mythology; she was so into the water and you made an effort to describe her in the water. Your description of the grove and the tree (which was a fantastic mental image) reminded me of a lot of guided meditation I have taken part in. It was really nice to have that connection.

The sexual frisson - although downplayed - is quite obvious so I think you made a good call with your judicious edits. I envy your objectivity, actually!

Hope, your story for Kylara hurt my brain at first until I realised the format (I'm quite slow, admittedly) The chops were so out of the blue; I enjoyed the sense of exhilaration of being thrown this way and that. I think my favourite section was the opening: something about it was so evocative along with the humour and I pictured a sort of Everglades-at-night scene. The mad dashing-around within the dream lets up gracefully for a classy last couple of lines.

The second story was a snapshot of romance that I could take one way or the other. Does Gazell end up here or not. Is she enchanted in some way, too? And my first reaction to her accepting the son was 'don't do itttttt!' because he sounds a little bit up himself and certainly not very romantic with assertions like 'she'll do.' And then to not even know his name... Why not? Is it Rumplestiltskin?

There are two lines that are beautiful;

The music he played was soft and thoughtful, though it left Gazell with the impression the harp would rather be laughing.

and

Livery as pale as the first thought of spring

TDZ, what a great concept - a recording map and an erasing touch. Azrael seems like such a good guy even if somewhat detached because of his skills. I love the implicit loneliness in his existence. I get fed up with people telling me again things that they have already told me so to be forgotten after two minutes, and to be 'immemorable' would be horrible.

 

[Phyrebrat]

My other comments on the other stories have been lost! Where are they? I tried using the 'back' button on my browser (Firefox on Mac OSX) but no dice...

<sigh> have to cook now, so will rewrite when I get a moment.

pH

 

[ratsy]

Based on our previous experience with this thing, I'd suggest this:


Announce new round of story exchanges in July (exact day not critical, but at least a couple of weeks.) Send out assignments August 1. All entries completed by September 1. Guessing, discussion, etc., in September. Announce next round in October. Assignments November 1. Completed by December 1. And so on. Of course, this schedule would not have to be absolutely rigid, to allow for life events.

Does this make sense?

Hey everyone...do we still want to do another round of this? I would not be able to organize it with me moving this month but if someone had the time to get another one up and running I would be game to write a story!

 

[Mouse]

It was fun, if I have time I don't mind having a go again.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I'm game to write one, but wouldn't be able to commit to organising it.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Well, if people don't mind the fact that I have to be away from the computer for a week at a times sometimes, I'd be willing to try to organize this. It was quite fun. I'll start another thread for it.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

So, mine is now out there and revealed. Glisterspeck asked for a story about bridges and this is where it took me to:

The Bridge of Souls - Kraxon Books

 

[hopewrites]

aww! I love it. It made me cry

very well written.