Does this work or is it silly?

[AnyaKimlin]

I'm keeping it. I loved it too but had a wobble as I was reading through the chapter. I'll be having more as I start to edit the book.

 

[chrispenycate]

'Flotilla's' fine, as long as they're on the water; 'flock' gives much more of an impression of flight. And no problem about the cob, either, though when his wife gets out of the water onto the grass one may well wonder if the pen becomes mightier than the sward.

And you can't trust swans not to peck you painfully hard - even when you do bring them food. Nearly as egocentric as me.

 

[Bob Whitely]

To be contrary, why? Surely in fiction we should strive for our unique voice which may ask we deliver alternatives to the proper term?

Well, I certainly have no problem with flotilla, though I don't think the use of the word would be considered using "our unique voice" by most. There's plenty of opportunities to share our unique voices elsewhere in the manuscript. Regardless, I have no strong feelings on the matter, but since there was a correct word, I figured it would be helpful. No big.

Flotilla is creative (and I love it for when they are on the water), and I think most people don't know the majority of group names for birds and animals anyway. Of course, some won't like the use of flotilla, whereas using the publicly accepted word would not slow down those who know the correct word and would appreciate its use. For the rest, no matter what word is used, they might get slowed down a bit, just due to unfamiliarity with group terms.

We can't please everyone, of course, nor should we attempt to do so, but there are disadvantages to using flotilla, so I pointed them out (possible diminishing of immersion for at least some, and the fact that there's already a word considered correct).

 

[AnyaKimlin]

And you can't trust swans not to peck you painfully hard - even when you do bring them food. Nearly as egocentric as me.

It's more as long as you are throwing food into the water he stays in the pond and you can keep your distance. The moment you stop you risk him getting out and coming to find out what is left. But I can't help but admire him most swans raise 2-3 cygnets to adulthood per year he has two broods every year and usually all 12 make it, I've never known less than 8. He also stays in Scotland all year round which makes him a hard nut lol He stopped migrating about five years ago.

I might just tweak your pen and sward joke for later in the story if you don't mind?

 

[chrispenycate]

Oh, sure, welcome to it.

About forty years ago I took a very young man (eighteen months) along the edge of the Lac de Bienne to feed the ducks, and his throwing wasn't all that good, some (quite a lot of) the bread landed on the bank rather than in the water. A big old cob was chasing off all the other birds, including the other swans, and was annoyed that the bread wasn't going where it should have (inside him), so waddled up and went into attack mode, not 'collect bread from the edge' mode. Obviously I was defender designate, so got bitten -you can't call that pecked – and he drew blood. That's gratitude for you; scared Christophe and upset his mother when I got him home.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

I wouldn't take this one on when I've got kids around - although he seems to respect my daughter. She told him to get back in the water or he wouldn't get any bread and he did it lol And my older son has no problem with him either. My youngest has never gained the healthy respect for animals the other two have. I wear Doc Martens because he tends to go for the feet first.

But I've seen him go for more than one camera that was pointed in his direction.

I'm saving your sward and pen for Ian's boyfriend, Wilf. He's a gamekeeper and it's perfect for him.

 

[Gumboot]

You really shouldn't feed birds in the water. The bread causes bacteria to grow in the pond/lake which is really bad for both the plants and animals that live there.

I like flotilla. It immediately puts in mind an image of the birds bobbing on the water, whereas for me "flock" would invoke an image of gulls flapping about above the lake.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

We use the RSPB swan and duck food - gather it is safe although I don't think i've ever known the bread make it into the water before someone has caught it. My son demanded we used the correct food because it was better for the birds during breeding time.

 

[Mouse]

The swan where we go killed his missus. Evil bugger, he is. And when mum was feeding him (the supplied bird food again, not bread) he bit her so hard he made her bleed. Swans are scary!