November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- VICTORY TO CULHWCH

[Tywin]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Murder She Wrote

“Yo, what up with this old white lady?” TeShawn asked Big Rube.

“Dawg, I don’t know. She got a magnifyin’ glass.” Rube yelled,“Hey lady! What’chu doin’ here?”

The cardigan-clad septuagenarian waved, “I’m just an avid ornithologist out for a stroll.”

“Lady, you gonna get yerself killed.”

She tipped her hat, “I won’t be long.” Not long at all, she thought wryly, With Amelia Bizpenny, Master Crime Solver, on the case!

 

[Juliana]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

The Last Laugh​

A nun, a rabbi and a poodle walked into a bar. By the time the shape-shifters skipped, there was nothing left for forensics but bloody puddles of goo.

My secret to not losing my lunch, like some rookie beat cop? Treat this sort of stuff like a cosmic joke.

Of course, it wasn’t so funny later when the Englishman, the Irishman and the Scotsman returned behind the business end of a pulse gun.

 

[farntfar]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Quantity

Poor Maisie.

She’s a great secretary.

Good looker.
Blond!
Nice pins.

But no matter how much she want’s it she ain’t never gonna be Dick Farlowe PI’s girl.
She’s just missing something.
Or plenty of somethings actually.



‘She’s in your office, boss. Just like you like ‘em. Legs all the way to the ground.’

It was true. No matter where I looked they were just THERE.

What can I do for you Miss Centipede?

 

[johnnyjet]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

A Cloud of Witnesses

Detective Puro scanned the room full of monitors and digital faces. One monitor was static.

"What's this about?" grumbled one face.

"You all have a common cloud connection to the late entrepreneur Saurus. Now I know your secret."

His voice cracked.

The butler approached with a glass of water.

He sipped.

"You control the world economy. Saurus wanted out, and so you . . ."

The detective dropped.

The butler said, "Next order of business?"

 

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

The Princess
​

A faerie princess of the Seelie Court, found dead with a blade of pure iron left within her heart.

This was the only Faerie princess that had been found, and she now lay dead.

“Tag and move the body to the thirteenth wing,” Detective Tam ordered.

His partner silently nodded and watched as he left. He bent over the body.

“You won’t be telling anyone about me now,” he whispered.

 

[Bob Senior]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

The Return Of The Tall Blonde


The monicker on the door reads, Kraig Liszt's Investigations, I'm Hollywood's most private, private-eye. I vow to take a client's dirty little secrets to my grave.

Tonight I'm sitting behind my desk chain smoking Camels. I'd double-crossed my client and she's looking for blood.


The door swings open, she pumps two slugs into my chest. I hit the floor oozing life like red out of a cheap box of wine.

Dames are trouble.

 

[mosaix]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Through A Lens, Darkly.


McGruder adjusts the binoculars.

There’s Rodriguez leaving for the night shift. Soon his wife’s ‘friend’ will arrive.

The hooker’s busy at number 18, as is the fence at 26. McGruder checks his watch. His partner, Frank, will be along soon.

At 42, old man Gorman, hiding in shadow, leers at a passing schoolgirl.

Here’s Frank now. He turns in at 26. McGruder lifts the camera, focuses, and releases the shutter. Shame, he liked the guy.

 

[Mischov]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

The Devil Finds Work

“You are Allan Pinkerton, Lord of the Detectives.”

“Aye, I am. And you're James's little girl Joanne.”

“Lord of the Detectives,” Joanne repeated bitterly. “A perfect position for a man with such dark secrets. You rule the detectives, so who is left to dig up your dirt? Nobody, that's who. Well, almost nobody. After you killed my father and destroyed our agency, I had a lot of time on my hands.”

Pinkerton paled.

 

[alchemist]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Telling Tales



“Neighbour called it in an hour ago,” Ski says. “Heard screaming from the park.”

I bend down, look at her body, but it's just for show. “Big guy. 'Bout six feet, two hundred pounds.” Green sweatshirt. Black hair. “Went towards...that apartment block.”

“Jeez, Mac. How do you do it?”

“Footprints.”

“I don't see any –”

“Trail's getting cold, Ski. C'mon.”

As I hustle him away, her voice fades with the midnight traffic.

“Thank you...”

 

[Starbeast]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Astonishing Detective Paperback Tale​

"I promise not to tell anyone you were missing, because you were with your Grey alien friends, and had engine trouble on one of Jupiter's moons."​

"I'll tell everyone my computer broke. Thanks Ray."​

"All in a day's work, Mr Starbeast. Because I'm, Ray Gunner, Detective at large."​

He placed a red strobe light upon his head, jumped into a shopping cart and raced away while making police siren noises.​

"Weird guy."​

"HEY!"​

"Sorry!"​

"Wheeeeeee!"​

 

[RoninJedi84]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

All for Naught

Who was it?

I’d covered all the bases: isolating the scene, dozens of photographs, interviews with residents and neighbors. I even called in a favor to set up cameras in the house, and covered the floor with baby powder.

They were good, I'd admit. But I’d find them.

After watching hours of footage, I still had nothing. No video, no photo, no footprints, and no wrappers.

Who was eating my fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls?

 

[Mr Orange]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Night Terrors



A dark room,
A flickering, sepia lamp.
Two chairs.
One table.
Two people.

Low voices begin, rising.
“We have the evidence.”
“Son, I’m not a killer!”
“Just tell us where the other bodies are!”
“It wasn’t me!”

He stands, and leaves.
I am alone.
Footsteps pound, out of sight.
Coming for me.

I wake in sweat,
In a familiar bed.
My father stands inside the door.
He smiles and leaves.
I am alone.
And terrified.

 

[Glitch]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

The murder weapon

All my years as a detective kept telling me the knife was in the house. We’d been over it half a dozen times, and found nothing. I knew he’d done it, I just couldn’t prove it.

Unaware I was watching, he finally revealed the location. So simple when you think about it; a secret compartment inside the letterbox on the front door.

I looked at my dead body in the hallway. Too bloody late now!

 

[BetaWolf]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Cold Iron Blues (71 words)

"Poor kid," the medical examiner muttered. "Rangers found her crucified at the 390 and I-4 intersection."

Crusoe opened his notebook. "Some kind of ritualized murder?"

"Not my department. But whoever did this knew what they were doing."

"How so?"

"Iron manacles. She's got third-degree burns on both wrists."

Crusoe did the math. "You mean the manacles were heated beforehand?"

The ME sighed. "No, son. When you're fae, cold iron kills."

 

[HareBrain]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

MASQUERADE OF DOOM: A BALTHAZAR MCSPANNER MYSTERY


‘At last, I’ve identified the murderer. Me.’

‘You, McSpanner? But ... why?’

‘To challenge myself! Criminals today are so unimaginative.’

‘Fantastic! Naturally, I must arrest you.’

‘I think not, “inspector”. Or rather, Dennis the janitor.’

‘Great Scott! No wonder I’m so inept. Where’s the real inspector?’

‘The victim.’

‘Lady Carlton?!’

‘No Lady, but a transvestite masonic policeman, and instigator of a plot to destroy the monarchy, in reality —’

‘Our lizard overlords?’

‘Oh, thanks, denouement-wrecker.’

‘Sorry.’



.

 

[Spiegal]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Gut Feeling

"Son, always follow your gut. It can take you a hell of a way but sooner or later you have to cough up the evidence."

The words of a cop too long in the game. He was old and slow, but sharp as the shank I stuck him with.

Commissioner Stone paled as I tossed him the leaking, crimson bag. It landed with a sickening thud.

"Here's your evidence. How's that gut feeling?"

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Captain Obvious Across the Pond
The Secret of the Purloined Clue


“File's ten years old. I'm telling you, you're wasting your time!”

“Report says there were chips dropped at the scene.”

“Evidence. I had one suspect.”

“Dave, at the chip shop?”

“Alibi was solid.”

“Did you ever see the chips? Or just the report?”

“It's a cold case – just the report. Why?”

“Detective Cross, who wrote the report, was a guest on the case.
.....--American.”

“I … you mean-?”

“That's right. And I'll bet they were Pringles.”

 

[Alex The G and T]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

You are lying. You lose.

I propose that the corpse was, actually, discovered in the Conservatory; not the Library, as your feeble minded analysis indicates.

My exhaustive elimination of the improbable has revealed to my finely tuned intellect that the murder weapon was, in fact, not a rope; but, indeed, a Lead Pipe.

Your libelous accusation towards Colonel Mustard is belied by his notoriously raucous presence at the Boarshead Saloon.

Clearly, the murderess could only be…

 

[David Evil Overlord]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Noir and Necromancy.
​

A butchered corpse, bloated with rot-gas and liquefying from yellowed bones, howling in pain.

Let me rest!

‘Amanda Carr.’ The necromancer held a photograph up to the corpse’s empty sockets.

So beautiful. My first.

‘The fourteenth.’

That you know of.

‘I will extract all your secrets.’

Over my dead body!

‘You have the rite to remain silent.’

As the necromancer turned away, the “Forensics” on his robe seemed to mock the serial killer’s corpse.

 

[Parson]

Re: November 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- READ FIRST POST!

Almost Rich and Famous
​

Truthfully, detective work is not glamorous. But Terry’s payoff for years of tedious research, some minutes of terror, and a spent fortune was in his hands.

Lee Harvey Oswald’s diary would shine a bright light on the Kennedy assassination. Confidently, Terry opened the diary, searching for the obvious conspiracy behind Kennedy’s death. Would Johnson be implicated? His stunning assassination revelation would make Terry rich and famous.


Later, Terry sighed, there was no secret conspiracy.