Which to or too?

to, but I think there should be a comma (or a semi, or even a question mark) before the Germans, which would make it read more logically. :)

"Who to? The Germans?"

"Who to; the Germans?"

"Who to, the Germans?"

I think one is possible, two would make many people wince, and three flows quite nicely as dialogue. Now await your 50 possible answers to choose from. :D
 
Wouldn't it be "...to whom, the Germans?" ;)

Edit: Anya, I think it needs the comma to provide a pause, otherwise there's no sign to the reader than they should pause there and it's harder to parse. I hated springs' semicolon option, and I lurve the semicolon.
 
OK question because I trust you, but I am dealing with my slightly rocky relationship with commas. Why the comma? He's not addressing the Germans. However I do experience a pause as I say it.

I think to whom might be a bit too proper. ;)
 
I think the first example Springs gave works well.

as for to or too, I always thing of too is the same thing as 'as well'

Do you want to go to the store too?
 
Yes that's how I work it usually - I thought it was to but it sounded wrong when I read it out ;) For now it has a comma.

Should second option be Who to: the Germans?
 
Why the comma. Urgh, hard to explain. Without it, it sounds like the it sounds like someone is going to the Germans. With the comma, it turns it two linked statements, which is really what it is. I think it's because it's a question linked to a statement, and without the comma it isn't clear which it actually is.

Ie who to? is the question The Germans is the rhetoric answer. If they're joined, they're not making sense of each other.

Hopes someone good at this sort of thing turns up soon.... :D


I didn't like the semi, either, Hex. And I adore them...
 
And you thought "whom" was too formal...

My preference would be: "...who to? The Germans?" because that's how it sounds in my head.
 
It doesn't hugely matter as it's a script. The actor/director etc will decide the length of the pause in the finished product. But as it is in my first real line of dialogue I figured the punctuation should be at least correct ;)

However, the script editor providing feedback has far worse punctuating ability than myself.
 
AnyaKimlin said:
Why the comma? He's not addressing the Germans. However I do experience a pause as I say it.
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99% of the time, this should be your guide. I don't think there are a great number of formal "rules" for comma use, and if there were, they'd probably boil down to "because there would be a pause there if you spoke it".
 
HareBrain said:
99% of the time, this should be your guide. I don't think there are a great number of formal "rules" for comma use, and if there were, they'd probably boil down to "because there would be a pause there if you spoke it".
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I have a Scouse background. When I was eleven an English teacher handed my essay and told me to read it out, punctuating where I paused. He should have known better because verbally there wasn't a single breath in that page of A4.
 
Who to, the Germans?
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You need the comma, or other punctuation, otherwise the sentence would be about "who" going "to the Germans".

Also note that "asses" is American slang, "arses" is English. Presumably the French don't use either, and have a different equivalent slang.
 
Brian Turner said:
You need the comma, or other punctuation, otherwise the sentence would be about "who" going "to the Germans".

Also note that "asses" is American slang, "arses" is English. Presumably the French don't use either, and have a different equivalent slang.
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The English subtitles are intended as double entendre.

They are French farmers so actually own asses. They are talking about donkeys as is the priest.;)

It's your mind that is reading arse and not equine. The issue is aided by a Canadian Priest.

However, if they were talking about their posteriors you are correct the translation wouldn't work between Latin, French and English.
 
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Hi,

I prefer the two two word sentences with question marks because it flows better. And yes I absolutely hate the word ass. An ass is a mutant horse. Why would I sell anyone to a mutant horse?

Personally I find the American use of the word irritating. It's an arse! And I do not appreciate half-arsed prose where people try to say arse but chicken out and say something that sort of sounds like it. Either say arse, or chicken out completely and say buttocks or something.

Cheers, Greg.
 
Given it is speech, I would write "Who to ... the Germans?"
but ... I have a terrible relationship with commas.

if forced to renounce the lazy "..." I would go with "Who to? The Germans?" - the others make me itch too

btw - I am listening to Greatest Hits of Neil Diamond (after leaving him on the naughty step for the last five years) ... it's hairbrush microphone time!
 
Hey Anya! I think the best would be: "Who to, the Germans?" Since this is dialogue, this one just sounds exactly as a person would speak the line. I don't think you want a longer pause, say a ";" or a "?" or "..." because the two sentences as given don't seem to be built for pauses...I'd guess they'll be spoken quickly, and with forceful intention. The comma seems perfect!

(And to put my two cents in, it's to, not too! :))
 
I've gone with to and the comma. As the final product is not intended to be read - the actual punctuation and length of pause used will not be decided by me :)

psychotick said:
Hi,

I prefer the two two word sentences with question marks because it flows better. And yes I absolutely hate the word ass. An ass is a mutant horse. Why would I sell anyone to a mutant horse?

.
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As it refers to the mutant horse why would I say arse? It would make no sense. Although the fact you and Brian are getting so excited about mutant arses on only one very ambiguous line tells me the double entendre works as intended.

However the priest who is giving the sermon is Canadian so would have said ass had he been talking about his posterior.

As the scene goes from Latin to French to English, I want the Frenchmen in the scene to be thinking equine and the English audience to be thinking arse.

Rest of the scene:

SECOND ELDERLY FARMER
(In French, subtitles)
Can't hear him over the racket. Doubt he'd get much for my ancient ass. Doesn't even produce manure like it used to.

FIRST ELDERLY FARMER
(In French, subtitles)
My beast's the same. Been years since it ran properly. Rather too attached to part with it though.

SECOND ELDERLY FARMER
(In French, Subtitles)
Aye.

First Elderly Farmer takes out his hip flask, takes a swig and offers it to the Second Elderly Farmer who accepts it.

SECOND ELDERLY FARMER
To our asses.

He holds the hip flask out. Camera follows the direction of the flask to show TWO OLD DONKEYS tied to the baptismal font.
 
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