Best And Worst Novels And Stories You've Ever Read

[Danny McG]

best two books in my collection that are re-read every few months are Rogue Male and the Thirty Nine steps ( I know very similar themes about hunting men across Britain! ) and I think the one I couldn't finish despite three attempts over the years because it was just toothache of the mind was War and Peace. I appreciate it is a 'classic' but I feel it must have been first published when the only other contenders were wallpaper manuals ! So tedious involved in relationships. One other springs to mind for it's sense of superiority and smugness, I can't even recall the title now but around the page thirty mark ( written Pre Google days) the author made some quotation and this was followed by a line in italics saying "the educated reader will,of course, know to whom I am referring" ----- this reader promptly slammed the book shut and said Condescending Creep and regretted wasting his money. Nowadays I like to get a book at local library first and then buy to keep or Kindle - only costs fifty pence and the library will order it provided not too obscure. They did knock me back mid nineties because too much of their budget was getting spent on thick sci fi tomes that were filling out their shelves, other library members complaining cos not enough trite bodice rippers etc!

 

[Stephen Palmer]

I really didn't like Steve Cockayne's Wanders and Islanders...

Gosh! I regularly quote these as amongst the best ever fantasy. Just goes to show how much is personal taste!

 

[Foxbat]

I'll probably get lynched by some for saying this but I thought Trainspotting was stilted and poorly written (I thought the movie flowed much better). Also, Finnigan's Wake. Just couldn't get my head around this 'classic'.

In field of science fiction - never before has one man inflicted such drivel on the world (I'm talking about Heinlein's Number Of The Beast). I'd rather smash out my own teeth out with a ball-pein hammer than read that one again.

 

[Idealect]

Couldn't put one of my favorites above the rest.


Worst:

Wuthering Heights. An Exquisite depiction of nothing interesting or worthwhile. A protracted exercise in wallowing in worse things than misery.


My opinion may be intensified somewhat by my having had to write a year of sympathetic essays rather on it, rather than insensed excoriations.

Perhaps even colored by it.




No wait, stranger in a strange land is worse, because it starts out quite well, with a few oddities like this weird comic relief author character and his platonic harem of secretaries, but then all of a sudden half way through the book it turns out all that not only is this fellow supposed to be taken seriously, but that that's really only the beginning of the beginning. The book takes a real hard left turn down a one way street off a cliff towards the end.

Actually nvm here's what I wrote earlier about it:

"I thought stranger in a strange land was a great book apart from how at the end it turned out this interesting eccentric character (Jubal Hershaw) with a comical semi harem turned out to be the author, and this enlightened being from another world who was experiencing everything for the first time came down hard in favour of sex cults, in a very direct manner. It didn't occur to me that literally everything Jubal Hershaw was saying was supposed to be absolute wisdom, untained by perspective or experience or blindspots, as his comic relief harem seemed to strongly imply. That way Jubal Hershaw is an interesting character, with a lot of wisdom to share, and part of the challenge of the book is navigating what he says and deciding for yourself what of it one might take from the book and him in particular for themselves, but then space Jesus comes in and starts a cult, and every
character, starts chanting the mantra, "the greatest gift humankind has is their male-femaleness" (paraphrased and jumbled up from memory), including the (omniscient style) narrator!

Holy f*ck heinlein, give me some ****ing signposts. Your sexual morality is not best evangalised by surprise space-jesus [redacted] surprise!, holy-****ing some girl right by my in character eyes, followed by a lecture from the narrator and Jubal, that is, you personally, Heinlein, about how this was a good use of my trust, your talents, your position, and this otherwise fine work.

I hope you're burning hell. I hope it's only for a stint, too, but I hope it none the less, you [REDACTED]."


THAT IS NOT HOW YOU SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS HEINLEIN

 

[BAYLOR]

I don't know what hit is about George Elliot but I just don't like her books. Ive read Silas Mariner and Adam Bede both were assigned in school and both were an ordeal to read.

 

[HanaBi]

It's been awhile, but for a few weeks I had moments of clarity and decided to give Stephen Donaldson's epic "Thomas Covenant" series a try.

I had heard previously his books were hard going, somewhat surprising, and not particularly filled with hope/happiness. But regardless, I battled on starting with hist first book "Lord Foul's Bane" , "The Illearth War" and "The Power That Preserves" - thus completing his first series.

It was hard going, somewhat surprising and not particularly filled with hope/happiness after all. But there was something in the writing that dragged me kicking and screaming into the 2nd chronicles, and eventually 3rd and final tome.

It was an exhilarating 8 month journey, and a far cry from the some of the "fluffy" fantasy books I had read previously; and certainly put LOTR into perspective.

As a consequence the Thomas Covenant books remain my favourite/hated reads for all sorts of different reasons. It's like a scab on one's knee that you don't dare pick at otherwise it will never heal. But sometimes resistance/curiosity gets the better and you just have to get involved!

I have since read the Chronicles twice, and each read has become slightly more easier on the imagination

A brilliant read, but also very, very hard going, and can sap the cheeriest of dispositions in an instant!

 

[Heather Myst]

Song of Ice and Fire by Martin is the best novel I have ever read and it is all about the characters. The layers he setup is genius and these books stay with you long after you have finished them.

Gardens of the Moon by Erikson is the worst I have ever read. The ingredient label on a food package makes more sense than this book.

 

[JunkMonkey]

The best I have no idea. How about Ubik by PKD? It's a contender.

The worst is easy. (Digs out reading diary and cuts and pastes from 5 and a half years ago.)

The Survivalist No. 6: The Savage Horde - Jerry Ahern. Jesus, Mary and all the Saints! This has to be THE single most f*ckingly awful book I have ever read. 59 chapters spread over 208 pages (that's 3.5 pages per chapter - though some are actually less than a page long) of porny gun-wanking in which our 'hero', John Thomas Rourke, shoots people. Lots of people. He must kill at least hundred people in this book. He doesn't ask many questions before shooting them either, but it's all right really, this is Post Apoc America and the people he kills with relentless and boring frequency are all 'brigands' or 'wildmen', hairy ill-shaven (and therefore amoral) targets for clean shaven and God fearing him to gun down page after page after page after page.

He already had the target-a man about six-foot four, unshaven, his black leather jacket mud-stained, a riot shotgun in his hands, the pump tromboning* as the twelve-gauge, roughly .70 caliber muzzle swung on line.

To break the monotony reading about John Thomas shooting people in the head page after page we are often treated to fetishistic descriptions of guns being reloaded; the hero's weaponry: a pair of chromed Detonics Combat Master .45 pistols in Alessi shoulder holsters, Colt Python and Colt Lawman revolvers, an A.G. Russell Sting 1A knife, and a shoulder sling with a CAR-15 assault rifle; and, occasionally, a parallel story in which John Thomas' wife shoots hairy amoral, would be rapists in the head with either an M-16 assault rifle or .45 automatic - even their 8 year old son gets in the act and shoots the occasional hairy ill-shaven biker in the head - though he has to make do with an antique lever action .30-30 Winchester rifle. There are twenty-nine books in the series. Four books after this one (according to Wikipedia) the united Rourke family get themselves cryonically frozen and wake up 500 years later - by which time the human race will have presumably bred enough targets for them to bother getting up again.

*'Tromboning' is, apparently, a genuine shooting term and nothing to do with the male gay sexual act of the same name. If you don't know what that involves - I suggest you don't go look it up.

I seriously hope I never read anything quite so awful ever again. I can't remeber why I finished it. I have a pretty high tolerance for awful - I own a lot of the Perry Rhodan series and many of Lionel Fanthorpe's books - but this was just drek.

 

[TWErvin2]

I think one of the worst novels was Battlefield Earth (by L. Ron Hubbard). I got about 400 pages into it and it just seemed to continue dragging. With so much left to read, I did what I very rarely do. I closed the book and never went back to reading it. I can see where it might have merit. It just wasn't for me.

I really enjoyed the Chronicles of Amber (by Roger Zelazny) especially the first five novels focusing on Corwin. Of those, I would say The Guns of Avalon was the best. Nine Princes in Amber really primed me for it. I enjoyed the storyline, and the developing political intrigue and conflict.

For me, its a lot harder to come up with books that I really disliked as opposed to ones I enjoyed.

One that I am glad I pressed through was Lord Foul's Bane (by Stephen Donaldson). It wasn't a great book, but it really set the plate for the two that followed, which I immensely enjoyed. It took my a second try to get through it. I have re-read it, and it's easier, knowing what it's setting up.

 

[BAYLOR]

I think one of the worst novels was Battlefield Earth (by L. Ron Hubbard). I got about 400 pages into it and it just seemed to continue dragging. With so much left to read, I did what I very rarely do. I closed the book and never went back to reading it. I can see where it might have merit. It just wasn't for me.

I really enjoyed the Chronicles of Amber (by Roger Zelazny) especially the first five novels focusing on Corwin. Of those, I would say The Guns of Avalon was the best. Nine Princes in Amber really primed me for it. I enjoyed the storyline, and the developing political intrigue and conflict.

For me, its a lot harder to come up with books that I really disliked as opposed to ones I enjoyed.

One that I am glad I pressed through was Lord Foul's Bane (by Stephen Donaldson). It wasn't a great book, but it really set the plate for the two that followed, which I immensely enjoyed. It took my a second try to get through it. I have re-read it, and it's easier, knowing what it's setting up.

I agree on Lord Fouls bane. It took me a second read to get through it.

 

[Toby Frost]

I have liked Junkmonkey's post just for the sheer invective deployed. I get the feeling that there are quite a lot of post-apocalyptic books like this in the US: another site had a brilliant chapter by chapter review of something called Ted Rockwell The Freedom Warrior, which actually sounded quite a lot better.

I would be interested to know what factors make a bad book. Apart from simple bad writing, how about:

* Excessive/inappropriate sex and violence
* Crazed political ravings, preferably with personal score-settling on the part of the author
* Glaring errors of logic

to start off with?

 

[Venusian Broon]

I would be interested to know what factors make a bad book. Apart from simple bad writing, how about:

* Excessive/inappropriate sex and violence
* Crazed political ravings, preferably with personal score-settling on the part of the author
* Glaring errors of logic

to start off with?

Errors of logic in plot so that the book comes across as a collection of misaligned 'movie scenes' seems to be the sort of thing I tend to find in truly awful books. Sometimes the author recognises this and puts in a belated and embarrassed sentence/paragraph to explain the numerous glitches...but the genuinely bad don't need to bother with such excuses.

These chaotic plots can be, to take an analogy, like someone has smashed all the beautiful stain glass windows off a cathedral...

...to be rebuilt by someone who had never seen the original works nor have any skill at stained glass...

...and then someone with no artistic skill has come along and drawn the resultant mash up of broken glass in thick crayon on thick rough paper towels.

In this analogy you the reader are enjoying that piece of paper.


There is one book, that I haven't read, that somehow I am almost tempted to buy just to see what it's like. Just because of the reviews:

Moon People: Dale M Courtney: 9781436372138: Amazon.com: Books

 

[Gonk the Insane]

There is one book, that I haven't read, that somehow I am almost tempted to buy just to see what it's like. Just because of the reviews:

Ha! The review confusing it with an instruction manual was hilarious

On a more serious note though, VB, save your pennies because a) the cover looks amateur (and WTF? Why is there a Deathstar on there?), and b) I took one for the team and used Amazon's Look Inside thingy to read the first page. I really wish I hadn't. It was more lame than a one-legged donkey. Truly, spectacularly awful

 

[Venusian Broon]

Ha! The review confusing it with an instruction manual was hilarious

On a more serious note though, VB, save your pennies because a) the cover looks amateur (and WTF? Why is there a Deathstar on there?), and b) I took one for the team and used Amazon's Look Inside thingy to read the first page. I really wish I hadn't. It was more lame than a one-legged donkey. Truly, spectacularly awful

I was joking.

 

[Venusian Broon]

Since then however I have found on Amazon:

The Furred Reich
Sword, Sorcery and Titties
Naked Battle Elves

All there, all real books apparently.

 

[Gonk the Insane]

I was joking.

Ah. My bad, missed that. But I did get told regularly as a child that Gullible is my middle name.

All there, all real books apparently.

Well the second and third don't sound so bad to me, but that probably says more about my warped mind than anything else

 

[Dennis E. Taylor]

Ha! The review confusing it with an instruction manual was hilarious

On a more serious note though, VB, save your pennies because a) the cover looks amateur (and WTF? Why is there a Deathstar on there?), and b) I took one for the team and used Amazon's Look Inside thingy to read the first page. I really wish I hadn't. It was more lame than a one-legged donkey. Truly, spectacularly awful

It's not a deathstar. It's the front of the space ship in the movie 2001 a space odyssey.

ETA: Oops, it looks like the cover you get on "look inside" is different from the cover on the product page. Think maybe a lawyer got in touch with him?

 

[thaddeus6th]

Naked battle elves, you say?

Hmm.

 

[Gnrevolution]

Moon People: Dale M Courtney: 9781436372138: Amazon.com: Books

Wow, that book just sounds.... special.

 

[Woofdog2]

a few that I can reliably reread and enjoy immensely every few year in no particular order

The Broken Sword - Poul Anderson
Three Hears Three Lions same

Midnight at the Well of Souls - Jack Chalker
The Warden Diamond series - chalker

The Dragon Never Sleeps - Glen Cook

Flamesong/The Man of Gold - MAR Barker

The Eyes of the Overworld - Jack Vance (anything by this author)

The New Sun series - Glen Wolfe
A Soldier in the Mist - Glen Wolfe (historical fiction/fantasy)

Armor - John Steakley

The Mote in God's Eye - Niven/Pournelle

Revelation Space - Alistair Reynolds (beware the bad 3rd book in this series)

The Compleat Enchanter series - De Camp/Pratt

The Gap Series - Stephen Donaldson

CJ Cherryh - most of the union/alliance-setting books.

Northworld trilogy David Drake (prose edda and other saga based-sf)
To Cross the Stars - Drake