Characters getting frisky in Sci-Fi/Fantasy

[lonewolfwanderer]

Thanks Psychotick. The flashbacks are already playing a part. I'm kinda implementing the technique i used for one of my pieces I put up for critiquing, don't know if it'll work, but it doesn't hurt to try. So, snippets of her memories are weaved in with the act itself. It doesn't reveal exactly what made her like that (it's too early for that), but gives clues that something did happen which is later pieced together to form the bigger picture.

Now i just need to decide what memories to use and find the trigger for all this...

 

[alchemist]

I also have to say I'd be a little worried if this character's opening scene is a sex scene (especially on her own). Like opening with a battle scene, we don't know the characters and setting so it may have little impact, and worse, it may come across as prurient.

 

[HareBrain]

I read once that you should never have a character masturbate in the first three chapters.

But times have changed. It might now be the first two chapters.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I also have to say I'd be a little worried if this character's opening scene is a sex scene (especially on her own). Like opening with a battle scene, we don't know the characters and setting so it may have little impact, and worse, it may come across as prurient.

I had a thread on this once, long long ago, and it was definitely not seen as the way forward. I even had a poll...

Just by the by, I'm reading Wise Man's Fear by Rothfuss and Kvothe is at it all the time, frankly. It did take about 1600 pages for him to get going though, to be fair.

 

[Laeraneth]

Yeah, it takes a good book and a half before he gets up to anything naughty. (and they ain't small books either...)

Still, at least when he does, it's with pretty much the embodiment of sex... fair play to him ;P (Kvothe, that is)

 

[Hex]

So, I think you've identified the issue, lww. If the rest of the story is action-packed adventure thrillerish with nothing intimate at all, then to start the book with a girl masturbating in a shower may give readers a misleading impression of what they can expect. However, I wouldn't worry. Write it now -- make it as explicit as you like -- and then revisit it when the rest of the story is written and you have a clearer idea of the tone/ level of detail of the rest of the book.

What I'd say about writing sex scenes (which I don't, much) and reading them (which I do more often) is that concentrating on the mechanics is normally awkward and ineffective. Concentrating on the emotions/ impressions with enough detail to let the reader understand approximately what is going on is, I think, more effective.

Stacia Kane has a blog on writing (fairly explicit) sex scenes, which you may find useful. It's not very family friendly, so I won't link to it here but you can google for it (unlike anyone under 16, obviously).

 

[lonewolfwanderer]

The scene is quite early on, albeit unexpected. Perhaps it might help if i said what i'm wanting to do...

It is the first chapter (i haven't actually divided it into chapters yet, but i've got them there as a mental guide). MC is unconscious and in the care of a group that found him. The first chapter is split between 4 POVs: Gabriel (MC), Lilly, Wesley and Mira (the character in question). By the end of this chapter Gabriel wakes up, and Mira is the first person he meets because she is the one standing guard over him. This scene is done in Mira's POV and is the last scene of the chapter. This is her introduction and I want to immediately set the tone for her without giving too much away too early.

At the end of the scene Gabriel introduces himself to her, which confirms that it is him (up until now the reader is only guessing) because his scene at the start of the chapter ended with him trying to kill himself. What she does before that i'm still working out, but what i had so far was that she left the medbay with little Lilly (who was not supposed to be there in the first place, but her curiosity got the better of her). I wanted to start Mira's scene at this point, and work through to the point where Gabriel wakes up.
Right now, I have her in the shower, being overwhelmed by the memories of her past (which is told only in snippets to prevent the whole story from being revealed too early). As a result she has broken down in tears. She blames herself for what happened 4 years before, and has never gotten over it. This is all stuff i want to imply in this scene: that she is broken over her past mistakes. The mistake itself is only revealed later on.

The bit in question, i thought, would be her reminding herself of the pleasures she doesn't deserve, as well as her attempt at releasing herself from the pain she's having to endure everyday. And so its not about the physical act, but rather the emotional side of things.

But as you say, maybe its a bit too early for that... Maybe I'll just jump to the part where Gabriel wakes up.

 

[Laeraneth]

If that's the situation, all you really need to do is imply that that's what she is about to do. I don't think you need to do anything beyond make it clear that she's hurting and is using pleasure and sensation to overcome that.

Lets be honest, the merest hint of hands going between legs whilst talking about blotting out pain is about all you need to do to make it very clear what's going to happen. It wouldn't linger or be 'smutty'. At the most, it's suggestive.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Forgive me but I don't see the connection between m*********** and releasing yourself from guilt or pain. It sounds like an undiagnosed mental illness for someone to believe that one would ease the other. And if she's weighed down as low as she is by these feelings then the last thing I would expect of her would be that she'd be thinking sexual thoughts or looking for pleasure at all.

Look - not wanting to suggest this, only put it out there - people burdened by guilt and grief don't turn to sex as a release in the normal course of things. Instead they are more likely to turn to alcohol and drugs - things that take their thoughts away from that which they can't face. Or they turn to other even less savoury options like cutting (the pain can be helpful in distracting dark thoughts, even though it's more commonly used by the powerless as a means to take control of their personal demons) and suicide.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I'm not sure about that, Psychotick (I'm especially not sure about the mental illness link and think there would need to be many more indicators than that) m*********** releases endorphins (although things like regularity and feelings around the act can affect just how much) which make a person feel better about themselves (I wonder if this is what lies behind sex addiction but don't know enough to comment). There is also a significant degree of control within the act which may ease anxiety.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Perhaps, but the behaviour seems highly unlikely to me. To begin with, people who are depressed or burdoned by negative emotion usually experience a decrease in libido.

Typically when people deal with traumatic events / guilt and grief etc, they engage in coping strategies. In short they try and deal with it. These can be grouped into two groups - positive and negative (maladaptive).

Positive coping involves strategies like maintaining a healthy lifestyle, social support ie reaching out to friends and family, and always humour - sometimes even black humour. This is not one of those. If it were not m*********** but rather sex with a partner the emotional involvement of the act and the relationship could be beneficial. However in some cases this can lead to an emotional dependance which can in turn be crippling.

Maladaptive coping strategies most commonly include avoidance - which is basically doing whatever it takes to avoid thinking about the issue that causes the pain. In too many cases this is where the alcohol and drugs come in, they are essentially a way of avoiding the issue. Cutting or enduring pain is also a technique used by some. And there is some evidence that thrill seeking can also be a maladaptive coping mechanism. In some cases the avoidance may be extreme where the person goes to any length to avoid dealing with the problem, with the usual result that whatever issue the person is dealing with - trauma, guilt, grief, phobia become magnified in their thoughts. In some cases the issues may be so deep that the person dissociates - ie buries the entire memory / issue. It's a form of psychological avoidance. This sort of behaviour is often associated with PTSD.

My thought is that simply seeking a few minutes pleasure is not a natural way (positive or negative) of dealing with an emotionally painful experience, and I can't imagine why any sufferer would think that it was.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[lonewolfwanderer]

While Mira is wanting to forget, you could also say she is also not wanting to forget. She feels responsible for what happened, and the events* itself. The memories serve as a reminder of the mistakes she made that led upto the events.

She's not negative, nor necessarily depressed but at the same time she is the type of person who'd keep to herself, as well as keep her problems hidden from others. She deals with them in isolation, and in her own way, and the act she indulges in is not so much about the pleasure as it is a reminder of some of the things she thinks she doesn't deserve. You could say that albeit a way of making herself feel good for a brief moment, she's also doing it as a form of punishment, if that makes sense. One indication of this is it happens beneath a cold shower. She doesn't believe in self mutilation, and is very confident in her abilities which is probably why she resorts to this kind of act... And she is a good girl, just broken.

Well, I actually don't know all the details, yet... But I will say she's most likely one of the more complicated characters in the WIP so far. Anyway, i got the scene down in a way I think highlights the emotional side of things, and its very brief.

 

[Toby Frost]

I'm not sure whether this is going to help or not, but in my opinion I wouldn't introduce a character like this, because:

1) This is a very static way of introducing her. Leave out the sexual aspect and she's not actually doing very much. It runs the risk of being an infodump about her mind, which is effectively saying "Here's what happened to this person before the story started" where I'd rather see what actually happened in the story. I would rather see her interacting with people and doing stuff that shows what she does through her point of view, what she's like most of the time and hints at what her problems are.

2) It gives the impression that this is what she does - in other words, that being troubled, guilty and messed-up is the main focus of her existence. That may well be the core of her personality, but that's different. Can she function on a day-to-day basis, hold down a job, take responsibility? The first time you see a character from their own point of view, unless there's a good reason otherwise, it's natural to assume that they're doing their thing. In the circumstances, this does seem to suggest that her normal afternoon is to break down in tears whilst w***king in the shower.

3) It's actually quite a complicated mental situation that you're looking to portray. "Simmering fury", "unnecessary risk-taking", "depression intercut with the need for distraction" and a number of other things would be easier to portray than her rather complex and self-hating attitude to having one off the wrist. Again that risks it becoming wordy.

4) Someone out there will accuse you of defining women by sexuality or some similar stuff. That's probably not true, but the question will be raised as to why she is immediately linked to sex and not the male characters. Whether there's a good reason or not probably isn't the point.

Sorry not to sound more positive, but it does sound like you're making it hard for yourself, so to speak. I'd be tempted to push such a scene further back in the book, once the character is established.

 

[The Judge]

While I wouldn't express myself in quite the way Toby has -- and a brief reminder that this is a family-friendly site so while nothing objectionable has been said so far, a punning/euphemism contest isn't something we'd like to see -- I do agree with the points he raises.

And though we can't exclude the idea of a person doing this in an effort both to give some release from pain and at the same time to remember that pain, I'd agree with psychotick it doesn't seem the likeliest of coping mechanisms, and I'd certainly be somewhat sceptical if I read it. I'd also rather suspect the reasons for its inclusion in the novel.

If you haven't already, I'd suggest you read around the issues of trauma and PTSD generally, and use the information gleaned there to help you with her mind and behaviour. If you continue to feel this is the way she would deal with all she has done and suffered, then I'd suggest you make it a powerful scene, which is in no way titillating, but place it very much later in the book when readers have got to know her, so the whole experience means more and doesn't read as gratuitous.

 

[lonewolfwanderer]

I suppose you're right. She's quite a complicated character, and trying to portray these things isn't going to be easy. I'll keep it where it is for the time being and then during the edits and in the following drafts i'll rearrange and see if and where it is best suited.
What makes it more complicated is that she tends to isolate herself from others, and while i don't want to reveal too much too early, i do want the readers to have a fairly good grounding about who she is during her first scene; to know that she has her burdens and regrets, but not what problems just yet (those are learnt throughout the story).
Perhaps i should mention too that even though it's the first time her POV is told, she was introduced earlier on through another character's POV. Something on the lines of this:

Mira was in the shadows as usual, her face expressionless...

And a little bit earlier, Wesley reveals that "She is the best sniper he's got."

Argh, it's confusing, so I'm just going to move onto the next scene and start with the second chapter

 

[Toby Frost]

Sorry, perhaps that was verging on the coarse. And I even didn't spell my rude word right. Blimey.

 

[Ray McCarthy]

I'd agree with psychotick it doesn't seem the likeliest of coping mechanisms, and I'd certainly be somewhat sceptical if I read it. I'd also rather suspect the reasons for its inclusion in the novel.

Frankly it seems a bit voyeuristic and pointless. The reason to have it as a scene will be misunderstood. Not that I understand women. I'm not to sure actually about understanding me.