Help with my stupid plot

[Mouse]

I was going to post a bit in crits, but I'm not after a crit exactly.

I started a new romance (again, slight paranormal elements) and this time it's in first person POV, so I'll only have the one guy's side of the story.

Alistair's a gardener for a big country estate - his boss (and ex-lover) is dead and the estate has now been bought by lottery winners. He wasn't keen on the idea of lottery winners buying the place, because they're not classy enough but now he's worked for them a bit he actually likes the woman and doesn't know much about her husband to form an opinion really.

But, the brother of the lottery winners has started dating the daughter of his old boss and neither he, nor his old boss's old mother, like the bloke. Thing is, I don't really know why. The only explanation I've given so far is that he doesn't really know why either, but that the guy's a bit of a 'lad.'

I'm kinda thinking maybe the brother had something to do with the old boss's death? Or is that just stupid? The boss died in a gas explosion at the manor house.

I also thought, maybe the brother's abusive towards the boss's daughter and Alistair later picks up on that and helps her.

Basically, after all my waffling, I'm asking what would be a good story reason for disliking someone?

Ta.

 

[ratsy]

Maybe you could have Alistair notice the way the brother's glance lingers at other women all the time. Make him a slimeball and it is easy for everyone to dislike him

 

[Mouse]

I'd not thought of that one. Thanks, ratsy! I have to have him quite charming I think, as I need the daughter to fall for him in the first place.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Sometimes it's just a gut thing, when people are just a little off. Or if they're obsessive about things in a slightly boring and creepy manner. Or maybe he's not bad to the girl but just a bit too posessive. Being tight with money would do it for me, too.

Bet it's in your subconscious somewhere and he's been up to something which will become evident and then you'll know...

 

[Glitch]

A few points that might work with what you have

Lottery winners visited the house intending to buy after the big win, but the owner (boss) refused as they're not classy enough.

Brother visits house with them and meets the daughter. Being a 'jack the lad' he takes an instant like, but the father doesn't approve.

 

[Mouse]

Thanks, springs. I just get so bloody frustrated that I don't know straight away what's going on.

Lottery winners visited the house intending to buy after the big win, but the owner (boss) refused as they're not classy enough.

This is kinda along the lines of what happened. Except the boss was more than happy to sell to them - my idea was that they wanted it for a bit cheaper, so caused the explosion/accident somehow, maybe not meaning for him to die??

 

[Abernovo]

Manipulative type and controlling/changing her from her normal self? Others might not see it but, hidden in plain sight doing the labour, a gardener can notice subtle changes - his job after all, in terms of plants and seasons, so why not people?

As springs says, the answer will be lurking inside your skull somewhere, waiting for the right moment to jump out at you...quarter past three in the morning?

 

[Mouse]

Ha, yeah, probably, Aber! I like the manipulative idea, it's more of a slow burn/intrigue for the reader. Hmm...

 

[Phyrebrat]

...because no-one's good enough for her. Presumably the Estate are Old Money, and the Lotto winners are New Money; there's always been a disdain for the Nouveau Riche from landed gentry...

The only other thing I would say is know that there will be a reason that will make itself known as you write but for now, as it's a slow burn, let it just kindle. Then you can have the old 'I knew he was no good!' after making the reader think it was just the old vs new money thing. Gives you a bit of breathing space, too.

pH

 

[Ursa major]

The (admittedly rather complicated) alternative to the perfectly valid ideas already mentioned is that those doing the 'not liking' have ulterior motives of their own, i.e. it's they who have secrets -- or the same secret -- and worry that he suspects something is wrong and will start poking around. They make their dislike known (with comments of "I'd rather not say why..." when anyone asks), so that no-one will help him, even inadvertently.

 

[jastius]

maybe the brother is the controlling type that monopolises her every moment . on the phone with her when not there. has to okay everything with him before doing it or he has a fit. has heard him arguing with her in the middle of the night. constantly telling her that what she does is inferior and that there is always something wrong with the place. will stop her when she is going out to reclean the entire house.
has locked her out of the house when its freezing in her nightgown, pushing her out the door, leaving her to sit in the car if she can or come begging to the gardener to let her in. the gardener finds the bins full of her possessions smashed to bits, her good clothes slashed to ribbons.

then the gardener might see the brother with other girls all the time.
something smashed and bruises are usually abuse.

sometimes its part of a conditioning process like breaking her will down.
some religious fanatics delight in such stuff. many fundamentalists of all persuasions indulge in that very behaviorism.

or you could go the opposite route. the brother is a closeted type hiding something.
he has the girl as a cover. when she doesn't understand why he doesnt want physical contact he blames her. the gardener notices that the brothers reactions are off. that he doesnt seem to even really like her. like he is playing a part.

 

[psychotick]

Hi,

Simplest answer is that he feels loyalty to his old boss / lover's memory. She's dead but he feels some sort of commitment to her daughter and her estate. And this brother of the new owners has an agenda that threatens the daughter / estate in some way. Maybe he's a heartbreaker. Maybe he has a goal of robbing the daughter blind since he hasn't got any money of his own. Maybe he wants to break up and sell the estate. Like selling the family home - it's not always easy when there are ghosts in the wainscotting.

Cheers, Greg.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

The brother is one of those loser/chronic-liar types who has no real personality of his own; he assumes other people's character traits, even aspects of their life stories; he creates fictions over who he is--how important he is, how powerful he is. And he begins to imply, even suggest, to Alistair that just maybe-perhaps-it's possible that he knows something about the gas explosion that killed the boss; there's even the slightest, most open-ended hint to Alistair that he (the brother) might have in some way been responsible for the gas explosion. No one else hears any of this, so Alistair is alone in his suspicions/worries for the safety of the boss's daughter. (It's most likely that this loser didn't really cause the explosion, and that it was just an unfortunate accident that killed the boss; the drama would then be in trying to safeguard the daughter from such a jerk. OR, maybe he did kill the boss, and he's going to kill everyone else, too! ) Might be a good start to things!

 

[Harpo]

In the multiverse, all of these variations can be included.

 

[Robert E. Parkin]

If we are talking about what would make someone dislike another there is a plethora of choices. Greed, envy, a woman, status, disrespect, power, emptiness, sorrow, etc. the list goes on.

One thing that always gets me good is how a character treats another character very poorly and the main protagonist takes great offense to this. It doesn't have to be the main character, but maybe the person being ridiculed is someone that one character has feelings for/wants to protect and so on. When coming up with reasons to not like someone, let the dark region of your mind go. Very quickly you will go to a dark place, but rest assured, you will get some very crafty ideas.

Good luck.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Could be a class thing. The upper class, possibly aristocratic owner has died and now a lower class of person is living there. Because the new owners are deferential to the old traditions and good to the housekeepers he grows to like them. However when the brother appears on the scene he is arrogant,loud mouthed and rude to the servants. What's worse is that the daughter is attracted to him.

An interesting aside,and another reason for disliking this upstart is the possibility that the old bosses' daughter is, or possibly is, his daughter; they have been lovers after all - but of course no-one else knows this.

As for killing the old boss to take possession of the house; in all honesty that doesn't sound likely. For a newly rich family, would it really matter which rich persons house they got? And murdering the owner wouldn't necessarily mean they would be able to buy the house anyway.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Not everybody needs a reason or they manufacture them. My mother objected to my husband because he was ugly, overweight and didn't buy cigarettes in duty free for her. And from that came all sorts of problems with my entire family.

 

[Mouse]

Yep, I know there's many ways to dislike someone. I kinda wanted ways that would be interesting to read about.

Lots of great ideas here anyway, so thanks, gang! Hopefully I'll be able to get back into this.

 

[JoanDrake]

Martinet soldiers are sort of roundly despised once one gets to know them, but they still have the proverbial uniform's attraction, along with possibly interesting backgrounds.

 

[spacepilotsshow]

Maybe he does something that leads to being disliked. Like something he doesn't intend to do