DISCUSSION -- January 2015 300-word Writing Challenge (#16)

[Culhwch]

Many thanks for the votes ratsy, Phyrebrat, Juliana, and Ashleyne! And thanks also to those who mentioned or shortlisted my story - much appreciated! And of course congrats to TJ - well deserved, and you only missed my vote by a whisker!

No real story to my story this month. I wrote the start. Left it a while. Came back, found my guy digging, left him to it for a while. Came back, and he'd awoken a monster. I find my three hundreds tend to unfurl this way - I'll have a starting point, but not much else, and over the course of a month of not really thinking too hard about it, the story more or less works itself out...

 

[Juliana]

Congratulations TJ! Well done.

Thanks for the listing, Ursa and Teresa.

This is becoming my favorite part of the challenges, reading everyone's inspiration. So I thought I'd share mine. When the challenge came out, I'd been chatting to my mother-in-law about those epic historical novels like Rutherford's London and Sarum, and how our own families would have plenty of material for something like that (families that immigrated from Ireland/England to South America).

Then I thought it would be fun to try and see if I could write a mini historical epic with a fantasy twist and fit it in 300 words. I was thrilled to get so many votes and mentions, since it was pretty experimental. Thanks everyone!

 

[Sancho]

Congrats Judge on a great story.
Also thanks for the kind mentions and to DDawson for the vote. I think it is my best showing to date

It must be the kiwi in me but the field that the carving was set in got me thinking about sheep paddocks which (not) obviously led me to the shears of fate. They were in an old Twilight Zone story called Torture Garden (well done Phyrebrat for making the connection). In the story several individuals are offered the opportunity to look into the shears where they see how one bad decision they may make in the future will have terrible consequences. It only took seconds, though the person doing the looking thinks it has taken days or weeks. I tried to use timetravel to allow Nestra to benefit from Shepherds lifetime of regret. The clue in the final line was that she would go back in time and rescue him.

 

[johnnyjet]

Thanks for the short listing, Ashleyne! And a big congratulations, Judge.

 

[BigJ]

Congratulations Judge, well done.

Mine was inspired by something that happened in my life and was occupying my mind for a while (in an allegorical or conceptual way - nobody died or anything) along with a few melodic death metal songs I was listening to fairly often at the time. The ending was actually much more hopeful than I originally intended, as I ran out of words to end it as I originally intended. Think I might take it over to the "improving our stories" thread to see what sort of constructive criticism I can get.

 

[Mr Orange]

congratulations TJ and thanks for the shortlisting teresa.

for my story, when i saw the picture i immediately thought of some kind of ancient creature. my original creature was stuck in between dimensions but it was too hard to build a story around that so it became a, well, god. the story looked odd written in normal paragraphs so i split it into the final lines and verses.

 

[Perpetual Man]

My story was a little bit different to what was originally intended., but for better or worse I could not go with the original idea as it was just too long.

In the initial 800 words or so, the Sentinel was there observing the seasons, as it appears but in between it also told of how it was raised to mark the fall of mankind, and how it watched the final days of humanity, the sole observer of a catastrophe of our own making.

ie. The seasons come and go, even when we are not there.

 

[crystal haven]

Congratualtions, TJ!

 

[mosaix]

Congratulations, TJ!

Thanks for the mentions / short lists to Kerrybuchanan, willwallace, johnnyjet, perp, TDZ, UM and Teresa.

And many thanks to martin321, farntfar and holland for the votes.

 

[Hex]

Yes, congrats, TJ. A great story (I nearly voted for it, and for Kerry's, but tragically I only had three votes)

 

[Glen]

Congrats to all. Especially TJ!

I had meant to quietly leave this link very much earlier, rather than as late as I am doing. This was the fellow I had in mind when I wrote my Jan300wd thing. If you don't like (or, probably, if you've never encountered) folk music, RUN, RUN NOW WHILE YOU CAN. But, if you're curious, hit the link:

 

[ratsy]

Once I sat looking at the image for a while, my story came right to me. A stone statue that had 'just always been there' on a farm. The boy can see shadow creatures when he watches the sun's rays blast through the statues holes during sunrise. He hates his family, who abuse him and one night he decides to look at the sunset through the statue to see what happens. The shadows know his pain and drag out his tormentors, bringing their dead bodies into the shadow world.

I really liked the story, but I did notice a couple errors after I posted which were too late to edit. That being said, I still think it was a kind of cool story that i may try to expand on and make a short out of

 

[Juliana]

Ratsy, I can definitely see it becoming a short. It was just begging to be expanded a little!

 

[The Judge]

Thanks again, folks, and special thanks for the nearly votes, Cul and Hex!

 

[Moonbat]

I looked at the picture and saw something that reminded me of a termite mound, the kind you get in Africa that are as tall as a man. So then I got a bit silly with the idea and ended up with something that would mix art (for the thing in the picture is very artistic) and termite mounds/ant hills. I'm glad that people found it funny enough to vote for and really pleased that I made some people chuckle.
Looking back I can see improvements I could make to the story (comedy wise) and I'm surprised that the last line was a good punch line as I kind of added it as a throw away ending - it goes to show that you never know what people will find funny.
Thanks again for all the votes, very proud to have come in second to her Judgestry.

 

[The Storyteller]

Wow, I can't believe I got three more votes right at the end there! Thank you so much Ursa Major, The Judge, and Boneman for the unexpected and exciting votes at the end there! (And thanks for the comment Judge.) Also to Phyrebrat for the listing and comment and to Dusty Zebra for the short listing! All was appreciated, and I was very encouraged with how many votes and listings the story got!

Congratulations The Judge! I loved your story TJ, and I am so glad to see it made it to the top!

Well done everyone. I enjoyed reading everyone's stories and watching the voting unfold! Can't wait for the next one!

 

[Glen]

I’ve just noticed I got votes for this! I thought this was all over a couple of weeks ago - I’m well out of touch.

Thanks indeed to The Storyteller, Kerrybuchanan for the long listings, to Cat’s Cradle, Perpetual Man for the short, farntfar, Starbeast, Phyrebrat, Ursa major for the mentions, and mosaix, crystal haven, The Judge, and holland for the votes. Hope I didn't miss anyone.

Made my day.

PS: It looks like the link I posted is in the wrong place. That was the inspiration for the 75 worder not the 300 worder...that I had forgotten about. I should spend less time editing...and get out more.

 

[Phyrebrat]

CONGRATULATIONS, Your Hon.!

First off; thank you Teresa for your vote! I was very surprised to have snared a vote from the other side of the pond what with all the Anglo-centric details. Thanks also for the listings Mr Orange, TDZ and Yer Hon.

I said earlier I'd post an explanation for why I thought my kind voters wasted a vote on my piece. I had been indecisive on which story to post and in the end went with the lighter one. Although I counted my words three times over, I missed the comma which should have been a full stop - I figured that signaled my downfall! So to have a mention from Yer Hon. and a vote from Teresa along with the other mentions and votes made me wonder if people had noticed it. I'm sure Chrispy would have/did.

I'd juggled two ideas as to what I'd submit; on one hand the picture made me think of stone circles and all that neolithic rum-te-tum, but on the other hand it made me think of a whale's fin and that evolved to a young beachcomber who found the bones of a whale fin on the beach - he made door knockers out of them. Apart from that, I only had a last line which was There's something so beautiful and organic about a door knocker than you can't get with a bell; but this patella was really difficult to set. Which meant finding a way to give this boy some history that turned him into a monster who killed so he could carve door knockers out of human bones. I've been writing a lot of dark stuff recently and I just wanted a break from the toxic feeling those stories leave me with. I'm glad I did

Phyre, thank you for putting me in the top running. I actually love N but didn't think of it as I wrote the story. If anyone wants a very creepy short story, read N. Do it!

I'm glad you liked it. I had high hopes for this story but it didn't take with most people this month which is totally fine. There are so many good stories I don't let it get me down.

That's a healthy approach; if you think about it in other terms, if this hadn't been a contest, you'd not even think about the votes - it's all about the mentions (and you seem to be doing pretty well getting things published, lately) . Glad you like N. Have you seen the graphic novel on Youtube? It's about half an hour long and is great!

If anyone is interested in the origins of my story, though I loved the image I had absolutely no idea what to write and was badgering the Judicial Helpmeet for thoughts yet again, and he said the sculpture looked like a speaker of some kind with those holes in it, but I couldn't get anywhere with that. Then on the Saturday morning as we set off shopping the phrase "Old man Yew" came to me, so I was traipsing round the fruit and veg aisles pondering ideas about an aged tree in a forest (which is where the "Older than the birch, younger than the mangrove" came from, which I liked enough to keep), but that went nowhere as well. But as I was repeating "Old man Yew" to myself as I liked the line, it transmuted into "Old man Yu" and I had an image of a Chinese village, and at the same time the idea of people saying one thing but meaning another, and when I finally began writing the speaker idea came back. The title was the last thing to come, but I like a good pun now and then.

Quite a coincidence bearing in mind the Yew history of Kingley Vale.

Not sure if this qualifies as a story -- and it certainly isn't as interesting as the entries -- but the sculpture is by Walter Bailey, and is located at a site called Kingley Vale near where I live, which is famed for its yew forest (the most extensive in Europe, I think) and was the UK's first National Nature Reserve.

The sculpture is called "The Spirit of Kingley Vale" and was carved from a single piece of yew wood from a tree felled in the great storm of 1987, which brought down many mature trees round here.

I've been there! My friend in Gosport took me in 2011 and I had planned on uploading some pics here but they're so badly focused (and I need a shave) I'm too ashamed I didn't see "The Spirit of Kingley Vale" but went into the Yew 'Cathedral'. There's a lovely energy about the place, and I've never seen that many goldfinches since (or before!)

pH

 

[ratsy]

Ha, thanks Phyre. One needs a healthy approach when trying to be an author!

I haven't seen the N on youtube but I'll try to check it out. I did know there was a graphic novel of it but havent checked it out

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

Although I counted my words three times over, I missed the comma which should have been a full stop - I figured that signaled my downfall!

I'm one of those voters where it could have been your downfall, but we're all entitled to the occasional typo, and I liked your story enough to overlook it. I don't usually go for the humorous stories over the more serious ones, so that's another hurdle your story had to overcome, but I thought it was hilarious. The Anglo-centric details weren't a problem this time, because henges, standing stones, etc. fall within my areas of interest. (Not literally fall, of course, because that would be dangerous.)