Discussion -- May 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[alchemist]

Congratulations Victoria! And commiserations to Jo.

Thanks to those who mentioned my story and especially biy thanks to Crystal Haven and The Judge for giving me votes!

 

[Bowler1]

Well done Victoria and well deserved.

 

[mosaix]

Congratulations, Victoria.

 

[Ursa major]

I have to admit that sometimes my entries aren't intimately connected to the theme of the challenge, and not only because I tend to get my ideas in the last few hours of a Challenge (so that any self-imposed standards are, by that time, plummeting), but because either an idea that's only tangentially connected to the theme grabs me or the text where the theme's presence is most obvious gets dropped during editing.

This month's entry was definitely an exception to that sorry tale, in that (inadvertently) it has three links to the theme of departure. The first was the advertant** one, the idea that sometimes we do things that are a departure from (an aspect of) our usual behaviour. That was to be my sole link to the theme. But then a second one forced it's way in: the devil (Lucifier, as the story's title tells you) only gets to own a soul when its original owner departs this world (by dying). And then the third example snuck in: Lucifer's whole scheme depends on the person taking the loan not being able to pay it back, which requires the devil to leave the scene. Of course, you clever people probably realised all that, so I'm not sure why I need to tell you.


** - I'm not sure that this is a word (except, apparently, in Latin), but it should be.

 

[Remedy]

Congratulations, Victoria!
And commiserations, Jo. It was a close and exciting race.

I think I wrote a "marmite" entry. Its very difficult to know how a poem will go down.

In From Us All: I wanted to create a heartfelt send off for humanity's last hope for survival - two babies sent away from earth - about to be swallowed up by the expanding sun. I wanted it to show humans united in wishing them well on their journey. It was to become the first lullaby/nursery rhyme of the new world - something to teach them about where they came from and why.
I couldn't fit in that the babies grow and gain knowledge during their hyper-sleep. Waking up as adults and finding the inscription on the exit hatch.

I didn't like the first line: "Hush sweet babies, close your eyes." - It felt cliché and cheesy, but I couldn't find an opening that would set the tone faster.

Huge thanks to voters and mentioners - I think I injected you all with "likes" - Thanks to alchemist (I believe you gave me a ninja vote )

Well done everyone on another month of brilliant stories

 

[Zoe Mackay]

Congratulations, Victoria!

So, for "Papers, Please!", some people did manage to detect the hints of Greek myth - the character is a little like Charon, the ferryman over the River Styx that divides the living from the dead. I also threw in an oblique reference to the Catholic concept of Purgatory, and a slightly less oblique one to the Hindu and Buddhist (and others ) concept of reincarnation. And then I nicked the title from a computer game, and jumped up and down on the text to get it to 75 words and called it a story

A really good month, I think - a great theme from Cul. Thanks to everyone who mentioned me and the three voters (my highest ever!)

 

[The Judge]

Congrats, Victoria!

I don't think any of the other mods have mentioned it, but in case anyone wonders why Victoria doesn't come into the thread to thank everyone, she's actually away from the computer for a few days, so she was spared the nail-biting tension of the end.


hope -- I read your story as being a mother and son parting, and it was very moving. I wondered about the last line and was torn as to whether that was just hyperbole on the mother's part (which is what I eventually guessed) or whether one of them was dying and they would only meet again through another reincarnation, so had you wanted to make it more SFFish I think the route was there.

TDZ -- your story was on my much longer shortlist, and only got bumped at the last minute when I was trying to bring the list down to a more manageable size. I guessed the first part of your title was the name of a butterfly or moth, and I got Clotho, and googling brought up the link between them, but then I got confused as to whether the fact Clotho spins the thread, ie bringing new life, was relevant, and I ended up puzzling over the meaning behind the story so much I lost the feel of it. (The moral for me being "Don't overthink things all the flaming time..." )

The first was the advertant** one, the idea that sometimes we do things that are a departure from (an aspect of) our usual behaviour.

** - I'm not sure that this is a word (except, apparently, in Latin), but it should be.

Advertent is a word, probably a back-formation from inadvertent, but it's meaning is primarily heedful/attentive (which is the Latin origin, I think) than intentional, save I'm sure I've seen it used in the latter sense in some legal terms (ie advertent homicide).


Anyone interested in the origins of my story, as I mentioned, last Saturday I was in a Henrician castle which is now part of a larger complex, but which has very low curtain walls and doesn't have dungeons, only basements *grumble, grumble* which got me thinking about "proper" castles and people being flung to their deaths into oubliettes or over battlements. The story of why the clockwork maker was getting punished and the multiplicity of foul ways Tepes (Vlad the Impaler's name) killed those who offended him got entirely lost in the need to bring the story down to 75 words, so I'm surprised it held up enough for any mentions -- as to which, thanks also to Chris p for the shortlisting you sneaked in after I posted last night. Gratefully received.

 

[Cat's Cradle]

Congratulations Victoria! It's a fine story...as I mentioned elsewhere, you seem incapable of producing anything other than exceptional stories.

Well done Jo, too. I expected to wake today to a tie-breaker.

Thank you Theresa, and farntfar for the mentions! And you're very welcome LittleStar and telford!

And great genre/theme choices Cul!!

For better or worse I always go with the first idea that comes to me. I think I must have been inspired for this tale by the movie Her, which is about a man falling in love with a nascent AI computer operating system. There is a clue in the title of my story:
"We Crash Soft, Ware Forever"
If you take out the comma, and smoosh the words on either side of it together you get:
"We Crash Software Forever".
So, the story is about a person who falls in love with a sort of computer-program version of an inflatable 'love' doll...the MC inadvertently downloads a computer virus, which irretrievably destroys the memory on his computer, including of course the computer program he's fallen in love with, and had interacted with just one time. So, yes, what a happy, healthy little story! (And it took more than 75 words to explain it, which says a lot about the clarity in the story, *sigh*.)

But now for happier topics...in two days it's June, and we'll have Victoria's challenge choices, and soon after the new 100 word challenge will also begin! And we're only 32 days away from the posting of the July 300 word challenge picture! So happy times for all challenge participants!

 

[Droflet]

Congrats, Victoria. It's been a while between drinks (so to speak) but it's good to see you back in the winners circle again.

 

[Perpetual Man]

A quick thanks to Grim and mosaix for the votes, and to those who mentioned mine, I tried to like them all but might have forgot...

Hopefully my story was straightforward enough. I was hoping to invoke a bit of sympathy for a character in a doomed position, possibly a bit of revulsion/horror at what he did to his family then turn the whole thing on it's head when it's revealed he might well be a monster anyway.

 

[Juliana]

I was conscious that the tone/voice of my story was very flat, this month, but that is what I was after.

On the contrary, I thought it had this great understated tension about it, and it felt like you packed so much story into 75 words. Only negative thing, for me, is that I wanted to keep on reading...


Edited to add: no votes this month, which I wasn't expecting since I was trying something a little experimental. But I was pleased to get some mentions, so thank you!!

 

[johnnyjet]

Congratulations, Victoria, for a well-deserved win!

Thanks for the mentions to Cascade, willwallace, crystal haven & Cat's Cradle. And especially thanks to Victoria & Bob Senior for the unexpected votes! Also received some nice comments from Victoria, Perpetual Man & Cascade. All greatly appreciated.

 

[alchemist]

Congratulations, Victoria!
And commiserations, Jo. It was a close and exciting race.

I think I wrote a "marmite" entry. Its very difficult to know how a poem will go down.

In From Us All: I wanted to create a heartfelt send off for humanity's last hope for survival - two babies sent away from earth - about to be swallowed up by the expanding sun. I wanted it to show humans united in wishing them well on their journey. It was to become the first lullaby/nursery rhyme of the new world - something to teach them about where they came from and why.
I couldn't fit in that the babies grow and gain knowledge during their hyper-sleep. Waking up as adults and finding the inscription on the exit hatch.

I didn't like the first line: "Hush sweet babies, close your eyes." - It felt cliché and cheesy, but I couldn't find an opening that would set the tone faster.

Huge thanks to voters and mentioners - I think I injected you all with "likes" - Thanks to alchemist (I believe you gave me a ninja vote )

Well done everyone on another month of brilliant stories

To appreciate the work that goes into a good poem (with rhyme and rhythm too!), you need to have done one. I've done a few!

 

[ratsy]

Congrats Victoria! Way to go

Jo, that was a nail-biter. Sorry you have to wear that dress again, but hey 6 votes is amazing!

My story was pretty face value. A mother reading to her child as their village is invaded, telling him that life isnt a story, and there isnt always a hero. His father then comes in and helps them escape. It may not have seemed like a departure as in the theme but i took it two-fold. A regular man became the departure of a hero from the stories, and he also guided them to depart their burning village to safety.

Thanks to those who mentioned me and thanks to Karn for a late sneaky vote I truly appreciate it so much.

 

[jastius]

congratulations victoria! loved your story!
(don't point that ray gun at me bowler, i tried to vote but my tablet is cracked accross the screen and keeps dropping out.
when i shake it something is bouncing around in there and the wifi keeps dropping out. .. then the computer i borrowed to get online with kept dumping chrons every time i tried to load the page. after about forty five minutes i was kicked off the computer and that was the last chance i got before the poll close.)

anyways thankyou guys for the votes and mentions. (my vote wouldn't have made a difference to the result, as i was going to vote for some other person. )

 

[The Judge]

It's a bit early in the year for me to be raising excitement for the leaderboard stats (Cul is leading, needless to say, with Victoria in second place) but I thought I'd confirm a couple of points.

Teresa thought that the number of entries for this month was the best we'd had in a long time, and she's right. For over a year in fact, as we have to go back to March 2014's 59 entries to beat this month's 56 stories. The turnout this month was greatly helped by the 7 members who joined the 75 worder for the first time. *waves at the newbies*

Chris p hoped we might emulate April and get more voters than entrants, but unfortunately we were well down -- we had only 50 votes, and 5 of those came from members who didn't enter the Challenge. As he noted, though, we've comfortably passed the 400 mark for the total number of entrants to the 75 worders as a whole, and in fact tenaciousb was our 400th entrant!

 

[Parson]

Congrats Victoria --- It was a great story. I read it as very sad, but I suppose it could also have been seen as somehow hopeful for a rebuild.

Jo --- So sorry you were a bride's maid again. I really, really, loved your story.

Hope --- From the moment I read your story I was sure it was a personal reflection. I had you and your son in mind from the beginning.


As my story comes directly from the idea of a rapture I doubt anyone needs me to explain it more. I had the idea almost immediately upon reading the theme, which is fairly unusual for me.

A thank you to everyone who mentioned my story. I am always humbled when someone likes my story well enough to put it on a list.

 

[Void]

Congratulations Victoria Silverwolf! Your story was absolutely wonderful!

I wrote '100% Complete' about that terribly sad feeling I get when I depart from a great book because the story's over!

I hate seeing the white space of the final page approaching (especially when it's a proper page-turner and I'm too greedy for it to come at a leisurely pace!).

 

[Jo Zebedee]

@Parson, thank you! I'm okay in the bridesmaid dress. Except that TDZ and TJ have it all rucked up and it needs a good iron. And I don't iron. Ah, well....

Mine was, I think, what it said on the tin. I sat outside the carpark waiting for it to click over and let me in when someone came out and wondered what would happen if humanity filled a place and then there we were. But it was quite a big idea so I nicked the famous last words to sum up what had happened in lots less words.

 

[Phyrebrat]

Congratulations Victoria (and red Bounty for me)! Commiserations, Your Jo-ness - but hey you did better than me - afterall. I didn't get a shortlist, let alone a vote.



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