DISCUSSION -- August 2015 75-word Writing Challenge

[StilLearning]

Well done Cascade - and thank you everyone who gave me a mention

 

[Parson]

@Parson - if you google Hillsborough you should get the story but it was very tragic - a lot of people died through crushing when the police closed gates meant to ease crowd pressure at the match. It's taken the family years to get justice but last year the police finally accepted they were to blame and the orders they were isssued with that day caused the tragedy. It was very much to do with who was in authority and the decisions they took, even during the mounting horror. That it all happened live on TV means that I think anyone in the UK who was old enough to remember it will always carry the images.

I did indeed click through. In the nether reaches of my mind I now recall seeing something about it on the old T.V. show "Wide World of Sports" but had no idea it had that much clout in England. (Stupid of me, on reflection.) Most certainly a worthy topic for the 75 word. I appreciate the education.

 

[Perpetual Man]

As I'm sure most of you would have realised (and people mentioned - thanks for the mentions and short listings) mine was an attempt to do actual historical fiction in a slightly different way.

The hardest thing for me - was that when I saw the theme I just could not decide where in the vast scale of history to set the story, but even then I had a niggling feeling in the back of my mind. I knew it was going to be trouble but I tried to ignore it... but in the end it won through.

Geoffrey Chaucer is considered to be one of the first English writers to be published - if I remember rightly - feel free to correct me - his books were some of the first to be 'mass' printed. Called the father of English literature Chaucer wrote during the middle ages, the 14th century to be precise.

His most famous work is considered to be The Canterbury Tales, which is rather a collection of stories and poems making up the over all tale. In many way the set up is simple. Chaucer inserts himself into the tale as the narrator, a man who like so many others in those days undertook a religious pilgrimage, in England this would generally be to Canterbury where the bones of the Blessed Martyr - Thomas A Beckett, rested.

Here he joins such a group, each described in the prologue. The host of the inn where they are staying suggests to pass the time, they should each tell a story as they travel together and so it is that the tales are told.

They are as wide ranging as they are entertaining and throughout there are subtle digs as various aspects of the society in which they live - an example is (I think) the Friar who is described as such a good man, who helps the unfortunate women who find themselves pregnant out of wedlock, even to the point of making himself destitute. In the inference being that he was the one who got them pregnant, which in a larger scale is a reflection of the church in that time.

The whole thing is written in Middle English (nothing to do with Tolkien) which could be considered a transitory version of English between Old English and our modern language. In some ways you can see the basis of words which we know, but in others it is totally alien. It's drawing on so many different sources - old English, Latin, French, individual choices that is hardly surprising.

Mine basically is a little insertion to the over-all tale that tells of them setting off on their Pilgrimage

Taking the Reins

At days dauning
The Pilgrimes roos, yet none would take the lede.
Sweven washed from slep-fild eyen,
Night tales fild their memorie,
Knight and those that could setin their stedes.
Yet not one hembest wolde seith “Go!”

Monke, Nonne, Millere, Persone, Marchante, what-so they may be,
Til a mon, Geoffrey, persaunture claimed autoritee,
“We goon, walk or ryde, toward faire Caunterbury.”

At days dawning.
The pilgrims rose, yet none would take the lead.
Dreams washed from sleep filled eyes,
Those dreams filled their memories,
The knight and those that could sat on their horses,
Yet not one amongst them would say, "Go!"

The Monk, Nun, Miller, Parson, Merchant, whatever they might have been,
Until a man, Geoffrey (Chaucer), presumed to take authority,
"We go on, walk or ride, toward fair Canterbury."

 

[Perpetual Man]

In all that preamble I missed a hearty congratulations to Cascade, and excellent win.

I did say I had written another, not really historical fiction. I have not cut it down so it is well over 75 words, but it was meant to be more fun than anything...

“Historical fiction,” the noted member of Chrons growled as he prepared to make his vote. He was always strict when it came to his decision. It might make him seen as a bit of a curmudgeon, but in all truth the stories were all so good that in the end, the only way to draw a line between them was to be harsh, even the smallest infraction of punctuation, even a typo had to be taken into account.

He glared at the latest entry though and could not believe it. Not only was it near incomprehensible, the spelling was the worse he had ever seen.

Not even close, he thought, Chaucer, whoever you may be, you’re going straight to the bottom of the pile.

 

[johnnyjet]

Congratulations, Cascade! Well done.

 

[chrispenycate]

Big grin

the spelling was the worse

worst he had ever seen.

Back, shortly after ages of the dark,
O-level English did my class embark.
From Bard, we studied Scottish play,
Great lumps of which I can recite today.
Then, things going from bad to worser
The Canterbury prologue penned by Chaucer
Linguistic melting pot extrordinaire
Ending germanic to romance warfare.
But memory, that fickle, fading friend,
Though further studies recommend,
Insists the basic structure doth depend
Iambic rhyming couplets, start to end.

 

[TitaniumTi]

Thank you for the listing, TDZ!

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I guess I should put something here about my story.

It was about a boy, one of the Hitler Youth, who had to go with the soldiers to look for Jews in hiding. He finds a girl hiding in a cabinet, and he sees that she is someone he knows, who had been a friend of his sister's before they were separated by the war. He realizes that his mother will not be happy with him when she finds out he turned this girl in, and, seeing that nobody has noticed that he found her, he just closes the cabinet and reports that there's nobody there. He figures that if they catch him at it, the worst they can do is kill him, but if he turns her in, he'll have to face his mother.

From the start, the first thought I had about "authority" was "Hitler", for some reason, but I wanted to make it something more personal, find a niche that spoke to the humanity of it. So -- the authority of Hitler versus the authority of a moral upbringing. Hitler versus Mom.

 

[Ihe]

I guess I should put something here about my story.

It was about a boy, one of the Hitler Youth, who had to go with the soldiers to look for Jews in hiding. He finds a girl hiding in a cabinet, and he sees that she is someone he knows, who had been a friend of his sister's before they were separated by the war. He realizes that his mother will not be happy with him when she finds out he turned this girl in, and, seeing that nobody has noticed that he found her, he just closes the cabinet and reports that there's nobody there. He figures that if they catch him at it, the worst they can do is kill him, but if he turns her in, he'll have to face his mother.

From the start, the first thought I had about "authority" was "Hitler", for some reason, but I wanted to make it something more personal, find a niche that spoke to the humanity of it. So -- the authority of Hitler versus the authority of a moral upbringing. Hitler versus Mom.

Oh, I hadn't read it like that. I attributed what he said at the end as a nod to the much more awful fate the girl could face: camps, torture, rape, etc. Short-sighted me.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Oh, I hadn't read it like that. I attributed what he said at the end as a nod to the much more awful fate the girl could face: camps, torture, rape, etc. Short-sighted me.

Short-sighted boy, more likely. He's more worried about what his mother will do to him at the moment. You have the advantage of hindsight.

 

[Droflet]

A terrific story, Dusty. I got it.

 

[Parson]

I guess I should put something here about my story.

It was about a boy, one of the Hitler Youth, who had to go with the soldiers to look for Jews in hiding. He finds a girl hiding in a cabinet, and he sees that she is someone he knows, who had been a friend of his sister's before they were separated by the war. He realizes that his mother will not be happy with him when she finds out he turned this girl in, and, seeing that nobody has noticed that he found her, he just closes the cabinet and reports that there's nobody there. He figures that if they catch him at it, the worst they can do is kill him, but if he turns her in, he'll have to face his mother.

From the start, the first thought I had about "authority" was "Hitler", for some reason, but I wanted to make it something more personal, find a niche that spoke to the humanity of it. So -- the authority of Hitler versus the authority of a moral upbringing. Hitler versus Mom.

I liked the story too, but I did not see the "Hitler Youth of it. I thought he was a soldier. "Hitler Youth" makes it much more interesting. And I thought that he was following a greater authority, his Mom. I wish now I had thought of the greater authority as the authority of morality. For me that would have made the story.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Well, to be fair, it was the greater authority of Mom that really appeared in the story -- it's only as kind of an extension that it leads to the teachings of Mom and the compulsion to do good.

I didn't really have enough words to make it obvious enough, I guess, that he was a boy -- I hoped it would be clear because the girl who fit in the tiny cabinet, his sister's friend, had to be pretty small, so he ought not to be too much older. But then, my oldest brother was a soldier in Vietnam when I was born, so brothers come in all sizes.

 

[Parson]

Bingo! I was 22 when my brother was born. The year he was born I graduated from college, my sister got married, and folks celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. Needless to say, the brother bit didn't indicate that to me. But to be fair, I was thinking the girl to more about 12-14 rather than a small, small girl.