Ray McCarthy
Sentient Marmite: The Truth may make you fret.
I haven't re-written it from scratch after all. ... This is about first 1/4 of Chapter 1
Definitely needs more work ... Am I digging a bigger hole?
I've not fixed dialogue, lots of that. Hopefully a session or two with my editor and I'll get it write I mean right.
************************************
Chapter 1
The river was wide here with many quays and barges on both sides. They had just passed under the largest bridge Kevlin had ever seen with four high spans on three pillars across the river.
“Kin ye toss a rope, Kevlin?” said Ghiloric, steering the boat. “Quit gawking at the bridge.”
“Yes.”
“There is one behind ye in the bow compartment,” he continued, “attract someone’s attention and toss, make sure one end is made fast.”
Kevlin turned from the dwarf holding the tiller to look. Alice had opened the hatch. He swung over the bench to face the bow and arranged it on his lap.
“It’s tied to a loop already,” said Alice.
“Oy!” shouted Ghloric toward the quay. “Megra, kin you toss a rope?
“Certainly”.
“It disney seem like an Elf Princess kind of thing.”
“What?” shouted back a docker.
“Make us fast!” shouted Ghiloric. He looked at Bill. “We have someone unconscious here, badly injured!”
Another man came. With a minimum of fuss the enchanted boat was tied bow and stern.
“Pass the injured one up?” said one of the men.
Kevlin saw Anrhi had awakened and she stood up slightly wobbling the boat.
“Better get Anrhi out of the way,” called Megra, “carefully though, she breaks easily.”
“I heard that about Dryads,” said the first docker, helping Anrhi out. “You have hollow bones, miss? You are very light.”
“Thank you,” said Anrhi, sitting at once on a large bollard.
“I’ll get out too, I can manage on my own,” insisted Alice, though the boat rocked alarmingly as she climbed on to the quay.
“Ghiloric,” ordered Megra, “go and lean at the side at the middle. I’m a better height to help Kevlin lift out Bill.”
“Just don’t bang him.”
Megra and Kevlin threw over Anrhi’s rugs to the quayside and in a moment the dockers had helped Kevlin and Megra lift Bill.
Megra, Kevlin and Ghiloric tossed out the remaining packs and climbed out. Megra gave the men a coin each. Corbie the rook flew from the boat and perched on Megra’s shoulder.
“Now what?” said Kevlin, “Manannán said he’d meet us at Dalrinat City, at the Abbey Infirmary rather than the City Infirmary?”
“I’ve been here before, there is nothing but the bridge, quays, warehouses, bit of a village and the Road Train Depot.”
“Is it close?” said Megra, “They will have a stretcher for emergencies in the baggage wagon?”
“Aye, it is,” said Ghiloric. He looked around. “You can see the office and waiting room, Kevlin?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll mind Anrhi and Bill,” said Megra, “go get tickets and persuade them to come and get Bill. Alice, support Anrhi, she’s going to fall off.”
Kevlin hurried off to the depot. Why wasn’t Anhri rested, had she damaged herself exhausting her Mage skill to try and heal Bill? At least the sort of coma like state Manannán had enchanted Bill with was good for another couple of days. Fortunately he didn’t have to use Glamour. The staff were quite happy to help when it was six fares and someone injured.
“Technically,” the porter explained, “if he had no money, we’d be obliged to take him to Rathlurgh Infirmary anyway.”
“He needs specialist help at Dalrinat City,” explained Kevlin.
Alice and Megra supported Anrhi as she seemed unwell and wouldn’t walk on her own. She was barely wake. The porter and the guard set up a couple of palettes for them in the baggage wagon. There was some excitement as a Dryad was rarely seen in Newbridge. No-one noticed Bill’s foreign biker leathers as he was wrapped up.
Megra and Ghiloric turned heads as it was unusual for an Elf and Dwarf to be together anywhere, so Alice barely attracted any notice even though she was wearing the foreign clothes she’d brought from Ireland.
Kevlin peer around the wagon next to the baggage wagon. The other eight passengers were all Tuath Dé like himself. They were the only young people in the wagon.
The last group of four seats had been reserved for them. Alice sat at the window facing forward, with Ghiloric at the other side of the table at the window. Megra sat beside Ghiloric before Kevlin could decide where to sit. The rook sat in Megra’s lap. So he sat beside Alice. He tried to hold her hand but she snatched it back.
“Don’t,” she muttered.
Kevlin was puzzled by her reaction. Alice was looking out the window and hadn’t turned to look at him. With a clanking and jerk they set off. He looked at ahead at Megra, she slightly shook her head
“We should try to rest till lunch,” she suggested.
They had eaten the last of the rations the Warband gave them at dawn.
Later Kevlin was disturbed from his dozing by Megra poking him.
“You should get us all some food,” she said softly in common, “do you have enough money?”
Ghiloric put a couple of ten crown pieces on the table.
“I’ll go see,” he said, “thanks Ghiloric, I used the last of my coin paying our fares.”
“Ye are being the only one of us that wouldn’t attract attention,” said Ghiloric in the local Lounthian, but in his strong dialect.
“Try and find something suitable for Anrhi,” urged Megra. “Perhaps she just needs proper Dryad food.”
“Yes.” Kevlin got up and carefully made his way up the narrow aisle, occasionally grabbing a hand hold as the road here seemed rough. Easier said than done to find something especially suitable for a Dryad. He was worried about her. The boat journey down river from the White Mountains should have been enough rest.
There was no food on the train. He found an attendant eventually.
“What do we do for food?” Kevlin complained,
“We will be stopping for refuelling and maintenance at Rathlurgh,” he explained, “very few Road Trains serve food. You’ll have longer than usual because a bearing needs replaced. We always stop there for lunch. About another hour.”
Kevlin went back and explained.
“So no food for at least another hour,” he said.
Personally he was starving. They should have got food at the Newbridge, depot, but they’d only just caught the daily train.
“Some of us should stay and mind Anrhi and Bill,” said Megra.
“I suppose I should go with Kevlin and help carry food and water?” said Alice.
“No need,” insisted Ghiloric. “I know Rathlurgh, there are even some Dwarves with shops there. We’ll get Dryad sap for sure.”
“I’d like to go anyway,” said Alice, “We just rushed from the boat to the train. I’ve seen nothing yet, Megra. Well scenery and an Evil Enchanter’s tower thing, and stuff.”
“You don’t need my permission,” said Megra, “I’m not in charge any longer. I can certainly look after Anrhi on my own.”
“Don’t I need someone’s permission Ghiloric?” said Alice.
“Weel, 13 isn’t very old for Dwarf or Elf,” he explained, “but half grown up for a Tuath or Dryad. You’d be old enough to marry next year, though I suppose you’d need Drothnin’s assent, he’s probably your Guardian for a few years. You’d be wise though to stick with me and Kevlin in a strange town.”
“You’d be safe enough,” said Kevlin, “you just don’t want to be getting lost and missing the train.” Kevlin thought Alice looked quite alarmed at the idea she was nearly old enough to be married.
Somewhat over an hour later they turned off the main trunk road and came to a halt in the maintenance depot at the industrial sector of Rathlurgh.
“Alice,” said Megra, “Take of your waterproof jacket and borrow my cloak, you’ll not stand out so much.”
“I’m the only girl in trousers on the train, apart from you.”
“Working girls sometimes wear them,” said Megra, “I admit I only have them since we went up in the White Mountains, I never wore them before, but as Kevlin delights to tell everyone, I am an Elf Princess.”
“Thanks,” said Alice.
It was evident that Alice had never worn a large cloak fastened with a Broach before. Megra loaned her the second best broach, rather than the royal one she’d been wearing.
“I can’t seem to fasten it on.”
Kevlin moved to help but Megra put a hand on his arm and quickly showed Alice how to wear the cloak and fasten the broach. He hung back after Ghiloric and Alice stepped onto the Depot platform.
Didn’t Megra think he could fasten a cloak? Crazy, Kevlin thought
“What is it, Megra?” he whispered.
“Give Alice space,” Megra whispered, “I have an idea that she had a bad experience of a man or boy before she came from Ireland. Perhaps too she is quite insecure, also you are hardly experienced with women?”
“I’ll be careful.” He hurried after the others.
“I’ll check Anrhi and Bill,” she shouted from the wagon door.
“I suggest we eat first and then less to carry back,” said Ghiloric, “I know a good place. We have nearly two hours. Likely more. Alice, do keep up.”
Kevlin realized she was stopping and staring.
Unsurprisingly it was a restaurant run by Dwarves with mostly Dwarves in it. Ghiloric spoke in Dwarvish and they were led to a table.
Rapidly he ordered.
“We don’t have time to waste agonizing over the menu,” he explained, “you’ll like it.”
“So, Alice,” said Kevlin, “what do you think of Rathlurgh?”
Definitely needs more work ... Am I digging a bigger hole?
I've not fixed dialogue, lots of that. Hopefully a session or two with my editor and I'll get it write I mean right.
************************************
Chapter 1
The river was wide here with many quays and barges on both sides. They had just passed under the largest bridge Kevlin had ever seen with four high spans on three pillars across the river.
“Kin ye toss a rope, Kevlin?” said Ghiloric, steering the boat. “Quit gawking at the bridge.”
“Yes.”
“There is one behind ye in the bow compartment,” he continued, “attract someone’s attention and toss, make sure one end is made fast.”
Kevlin turned from the dwarf holding the tiller to look. Alice had opened the hatch. He swung over the bench to face the bow and arranged it on his lap.
“It’s tied to a loop already,” said Alice.
“Oy!” shouted Ghloric toward the quay. “Megra, kin you toss a rope?
“Certainly”.
“It disney seem like an Elf Princess kind of thing.”
“What?” shouted back a docker.
“Make us fast!” shouted Ghiloric. He looked at Bill. “We have someone unconscious here, badly injured!”
Another man came. With a minimum of fuss the enchanted boat was tied bow and stern.
“Pass the injured one up?” said one of the men.
Kevlin saw Anrhi had awakened and she stood up slightly wobbling the boat.
“Better get Anrhi out of the way,” called Megra, “carefully though, she breaks easily.”
“I heard that about Dryads,” said the first docker, helping Anrhi out. “You have hollow bones, miss? You are very light.”
“Thank you,” said Anrhi, sitting at once on a large bollard.
“I’ll get out too, I can manage on my own,” insisted Alice, though the boat rocked alarmingly as she climbed on to the quay.
“Ghiloric,” ordered Megra, “go and lean at the side at the middle. I’m a better height to help Kevlin lift out Bill.”
“Just don’t bang him.”
Megra and Kevlin threw over Anrhi’s rugs to the quayside and in a moment the dockers had helped Kevlin and Megra lift Bill.
Megra, Kevlin and Ghiloric tossed out the remaining packs and climbed out. Megra gave the men a coin each. Corbie the rook flew from the boat and perched on Megra’s shoulder.
“Now what?” said Kevlin, “Manannán said he’d meet us at Dalrinat City, at the Abbey Infirmary rather than the City Infirmary?”
“I’ve been here before, there is nothing but the bridge, quays, warehouses, bit of a village and the Road Train Depot.”
“Is it close?” said Megra, “They will have a stretcher for emergencies in the baggage wagon?”
“Aye, it is,” said Ghiloric. He looked around. “You can see the office and waiting room, Kevlin?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll mind Anrhi and Bill,” said Megra, “go get tickets and persuade them to come and get Bill. Alice, support Anrhi, she’s going to fall off.”
Kevlin hurried off to the depot. Why wasn’t Anhri rested, had she damaged herself exhausting her Mage skill to try and heal Bill? At least the sort of coma like state Manannán had enchanted Bill with was good for another couple of days. Fortunately he didn’t have to use Glamour. The staff were quite happy to help when it was six fares and someone injured.
“Technically,” the porter explained, “if he had no money, we’d be obliged to take him to Rathlurgh Infirmary anyway.”
“He needs specialist help at Dalrinat City,” explained Kevlin.
Alice and Megra supported Anrhi as she seemed unwell and wouldn’t walk on her own. She was barely wake. The porter and the guard set up a couple of palettes for them in the baggage wagon. There was some excitement as a Dryad was rarely seen in Newbridge. No-one noticed Bill’s foreign biker leathers as he was wrapped up.
Megra and Ghiloric turned heads as it was unusual for an Elf and Dwarf to be together anywhere, so Alice barely attracted any notice even though she was wearing the foreign clothes she’d brought from Ireland.
Kevlin peer around the wagon next to the baggage wagon. The other eight passengers were all Tuath Dé like himself. They were the only young people in the wagon.
The last group of four seats had been reserved for them. Alice sat at the window facing forward, with Ghiloric at the other side of the table at the window. Megra sat beside Ghiloric before Kevlin could decide where to sit. The rook sat in Megra’s lap. So he sat beside Alice. He tried to hold her hand but she snatched it back.
“Don’t,” she muttered.
Kevlin was puzzled by her reaction. Alice was looking out the window and hadn’t turned to look at him. With a clanking and jerk they set off. He looked at ahead at Megra, she slightly shook her head
“We should try to rest till lunch,” she suggested.
They had eaten the last of the rations the Warband gave them at dawn.
Later Kevlin was disturbed from his dozing by Megra poking him.
“You should get us all some food,” she said softly in common, “do you have enough money?”
Ghiloric put a couple of ten crown pieces on the table.
“I’ll go see,” he said, “thanks Ghiloric, I used the last of my coin paying our fares.”
“Ye are being the only one of us that wouldn’t attract attention,” said Ghiloric in the local Lounthian, but in his strong dialect.
“Try and find something suitable for Anrhi,” urged Megra. “Perhaps she just needs proper Dryad food.”
“Yes.” Kevlin got up and carefully made his way up the narrow aisle, occasionally grabbing a hand hold as the road here seemed rough. Easier said than done to find something especially suitable for a Dryad. He was worried about her. The boat journey down river from the White Mountains should have been enough rest.
There was no food on the train. He found an attendant eventually.
“What do we do for food?” Kevlin complained,
“We will be stopping for refuelling and maintenance at Rathlurgh,” he explained, “very few Road Trains serve food. You’ll have longer than usual because a bearing needs replaced. We always stop there for lunch. About another hour.”
Kevlin went back and explained.
“So no food for at least another hour,” he said.
Personally he was starving. They should have got food at the Newbridge, depot, but they’d only just caught the daily train.
“Some of us should stay and mind Anrhi and Bill,” said Megra.
“I suppose I should go with Kevlin and help carry food and water?” said Alice.
“No need,” insisted Ghiloric. “I know Rathlurgh, there are even some Dwarves with shops there. We’ll get Dryad sap for sure.”
“I’d like to go anyway,” said Alice, “We just rushed from the boat to the train. I’ve seen nothing yet, Megra. Well scenery and an Evil Enchanter’s tower thing, and stuff.”
“You don’t need my permission,” said Megra, “I’m not in charge any longer. I can certainly look after Anrhi on my own.”
“Don’t I need someone’s permission Ghiloric?” said Alice.
“Weel, 13 isn’t very old for Dwarf or Elf,” he explained, “but half grown up for a Tuath or Dryad. You’d be old enough to marry next year, though I suppose you’d need Drothnin’s assent, he’s probably your Guardian for a few years. You’d be wise though to stick with me and Kevlin in a strange town.”
“You’d be safe enough,” said Kevlin, “you just don’t want to be getting lost and missing the train.” Kevlin thought Alice looked quite alarmed at the idea she was nearly old enough to be married.
Somewhat over an hour later they turned off the main trunk road and came to a halt in the maintenance depot at the industrial sector of Rathlurgh.
“Alice,” said Megra, “Take of your waterproof jacket and borrow my cloak, you’ll not stand out so much.”
“I’m the only girl in trousers on the train, apart from you.”
“Working girls sometimes wear them,” said Megra, “I admit I only have them since we went up in the White Mountains, I never wore them before, but as Kevlin delights to tell everyone, I am an Elf Princess.”
“Thanks,” said Alice.
It was evident that Alice had never worn a large cloak fastened with a Broach before. Megra loaned her the second best broach, rather than the royal one she’d been wearing.
“I can’t seem to fasten it on.”
Kevlin moved to help but Megra put a hand on his arm and quickly showed Alice how to wear the cloak and fasten the broach. He hung back after Ghiloric and Alice stepped onto the Depot platform.
Didn’t Megra think he could fasten a cloak? Crazy, Kevlin thought
“What is it, Megra?” he whispered.
“Give Alice space,” Megra whispered, “I have an idea that she had a bad experience of a man or boy before she came from Ireland. Perhaps too she is quite insecure, also you are hardly experienced with women?”
“I’ll be careful.” He hurried after the others.
“I’ll check Anrhi and Bill,” she shouted from the wagon door.
“I suggest we eat first and then less to carry back,” said Ghiloric, “I know a good place. We have nearly two hours. Likely more. Alice, do keep up.”
Kevlin realized she was stopping and staring.
Unsurprisingly it was a restaurant run by Dwarves with mostly Dwarves in it. Ghiloric spoke in Dwarvish and they were led to a table.
Rapidly he ordered.
“We don’t have time to waste agonizing over the menu,” he explained, “you’ll like it.”
“So, Alice,” said Kevlin, “what do you think of Rathlurgh?”
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