This is good quality writing DG and the work you’re putting in shows, so well done.
The rain line close to the coast confused me and as it never impacted the story I’d question its value. As to plastic in the sea, there’s lots of it and we all gobble it down with our seafood already as all fishermen know. So attention to the small details is key and unless your very happy with the facts don’t embellish too much I’d say.
Character placement and movement wasn’t always clear for me, despite being in a boat most of the time.
I didn’t mind the slow pace as this is a Joe Soap fisherman, so I wouldn’t expect explosions when going fishing and your writing voice is starting to show, so it carried me along. But I wouldn’t read a whole book at this pace, no matter how well handled. There was for me too much meaningless character introspection that didn’t add much value to the plot. By drifting off the main plot line more than once that I could see, you lost clarity and direction for me.
For the most part however, the character didn’t feel like a fisherman, but instead felt like DG Jones had gone fishing. I’d expect a fisherman to be rougher around the edges, if that makes sense. Instead of internal thoughts which drag you the author into the story, have a muttering and mumbling fisherman, which is dialogue and could help break up the writing and avoid big sections of introspection. Also big blocks of text always put me off, even before I start reading as it signals to me that the rhythm of the writing will be at the one pace, which this was. Pull back from the character a little more, then you don’t have to do all the little details that you think makes the character interesting, when for me, it slowed the writing down. Less really can be more.
As I said, this is good, keep at it.
The rain line close to the coast confused me and as it never impacted the story I’d question its value. As to plastic in the sea, there’s lots of it and we all gobble it down with our seafood already as all fishermen know. So attention to the small details is key and unless your very happy with the facts don’t embellish too much I’d say.
Character placement and movement wasn’t always clear for me, despite being in a boat most of the time.
I didn’t mind the slow pace as this is a Joe Soap fisherman, so I wouldn’t expect explosions when going fishing and your writing voice is starting to show, so it carried me along. But I wouldn’t read a whole book at this pace, no matter how well handled. There was for me too much meaningless character introspection that didn’t add much value to the plot. By drifting off the main plot line more than once that I could see, you lost clarity and direction for me.
For the most part however, the character didn’t feel like a fisherman, but instead felt like DG Jones had gone fishing. I’d expect a fisherman to be rougher around the edges, if that makes sense. Instead of internal thoughts which drag you the author into the story, have a muttering and mumbling fisherman, which is dialogue and could help break up the writing and avoid big sections of introspection. Also big blocks of text always put me off, even before I start reading as it signals to me that the rhythm of the writing will be at the one pace, which this was. Pull back from the character a little more, then you don’t have to do all the little details that you think makes the character interesting, when for me, it slowed the writing down. Less really can be more.
As I said, this is good, keep at it.
