Psekrit Psummer Pstory Psix -- Guessing Thread

Victoria Silverwolf

Vegetarian Werewolf
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Dec 9, 2012
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Location
Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA
Well, it's that time again, folks.

As of this writing I have received thirteen stories from twelve authors. I have been promised by another author that I should receive an excerpt within the next couple of hours. I have included that person's name in the list of authors below, making thirteen. If I receive this excerpt in time, I will add it to this thread, making a total of fourteen stories. If not, I will attempt to remove that person's name from the list.

(I hope that's unclear enough for now. I also pause for a moment to consider the meaning of the lucky number thirteen in my life.)

THE AUTHORS (in alphabetical order, disregarding "the")

chrispenycate

David Evil Overlord

DG Jones

TheDustyZebra

holland

johnnyjet

Kerrybuchanan

Phyrebrat

ratsy

Robert Mackay

The Storyteller

Twistedlemon

Vaz



Excerpts to follow soon on this thread.

For whatever it might be worth, I will attach the list of who requested what.
 

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Here are the excerpts, in alphabetical order by title, disregarding "the."


STORY NUMBER ONE:

THE AURYNS

October, Year 179 of the Auryn Calendar

The Council was deep in discussion when the double doors—laced suddenly with blue Energy—swung open, and in stepped a wizened old otter, fur overgrown and silvery, his great robes draping to the ground. A staff was held in his hand, aiding his two-legged hobble into the midst of the chamber.

“I have some bad news, I’m afraid,” he said dryly, staff clicking on the floor as he came forward. Blue sparks blossomed wherever the ancient wood touched the stone.

“All anyone has is bad news these days Nimbus,” Malachite said, hissing a soft sigh and coiling himself neatly, tail tucked in front. “What with the human war getting out of hand, this council already has more problems than it can handle, and certainly does not have time for such interruptions. Perhaps your news can wait until a more suitable time.”

“I’m afraid it cannot, Councillor,” Nimbus said, peering darkly at the green snake.

Mayor Terra ruffled her feathers, swiveling her head to face the old mystic. “Really Nimbus, there’s no need to be so dramatic. It’s not like the world is going to end.”

Nimbus looked up at her, black eyes deep and intense. “I’m afraid, Madam Mayor, that is exactly what is going to happen. And nothing you or I do can stop it.”

________________________________________________________________________________________



STORY NUMBER TWO:

GHOST GAMES

Sun beat down on the white sand, she rotated onto her stomach. The soft ground felt as if she would sink in. Something crawled onto her towel, it crept slowly as it inched closer.

She felt it brush her skin as she raised her head. The object crawled along her leg she shrieked. Branches broke and leaves shuffled as someone ran from the tree line. “May?” The tan dark haired man peeked out from the shade. He could see her beat the ground with a flip-flop. Jerry pulled the shoe away from her as she huffed angrily. In the sand a small mound of mush, shell and blood was exposed.

He wiped the flip-flop on the fabric of the beach towel. “I suspect homicide.”

Jane May snatched the shoe away, she grabbed his arm for balance as she slid it back onto her foot.

“The stupid bug should have left me alone then.”

Jerry Hawkins kept her from falling over. “Crab.”

“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose at the remains. Blood stained the sand around the mangled corpse.

________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER THREE:

THE IMMORTALS

De Mille ran to his puffing wagon thing, his long beard flying over each of his shoulders. Even as he ran he was shouting back at the assembled village crowd of Grifter’s Gulch; ‘How will you know if you need it if you don’t even look at it close up?’ he howled.

‘I’ll shoot you close up, if you like!’ Hector shouted after him and fired a shot from his Cimarron at the snake oil salesman’s heels. Gritty sand sprayed up and the old man fell onto the big metal back wheel of his horseless cart. He righted himself and limped into the monstrosity which chugged and belched from brass barrels and trundled off towards the arroyo.

Hector and Jess walked up to the place where the wagon had been.

‘I didn’t think you hit him,’ Jess said, pointing at the blood on the ground, which was already turning a rusty brown.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER FOUR:

IN THE HOT MISTS

It was the best and wildest of times; it was the worst and craziest of times. Steamships filled the river like water lilies and steam-powered air ships filled the sky like an explosion of hot air balloons escaping into the atmosphere. The beginning of the Tenth Annual World Steam and Technology Convention, held near Tilbury, England this year, seventy-five kilometers east of London in a spacious grounds along the River Thames, was most auspicious and wondrous, in a year when the usage of steam-powered ships worldwide accelerated at its most rapid pace yet.

"Steamships aren't just for rivers and seas anymore," thought Andrew Marley as he watched the impressive spectacle in the sky from the watchtower. There had to be at least twenty steam-powered air ships in the sky all at once, all different shapes and sizes, some plain, some ornate, some quite grotesque and complex, all spouting jets of steam from a wide variety of orifices. The scene gave him the impression of ethereal dancers gracefully carving their choreography in the sky.

_____________________________________________________________________________________
 
STORY NUMBER FIVE:

LAURA AND THE MANXOME FOE

I killed my first monster when I was nine years old.

Back then, the summers were endless, full of adventure and stories. After school finished, my brother Carl and I were shipped off to stay with Aunt Jane and Uncle Scott in Hampshire, right in the middle of the New Forest. We would leave the house just after breakfast, scrambled eggs and toast every day, and play in the woods behind Jane and Scott's cottage, coming back only for lunch and tea, then heading straight back out again.

We weren't supposed to go too far from the house. “Not until you're older,” Aunt Jane would say, though I was already convinced that I was as mature as I was ever going to be. There were no problems I could not solve, no injuries I could not cure – usually by the swift application of a dock leaf and some brackish stream-water of questionable sanitation.

That day, Carl and I had ventured further than we ever had before. Down past Mr George's cottage, past the back of the local shop, even past the imposingly high wall that surrounded the house of Mrs. Smith.

Village gossip held that Mrs. Smith was “a bit of a character”. She “kept herself to herself”.

All of the children were convinced that she was a witch.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER SIX:

MAY THE FARCE BE WITH YOU

The school public address system beeped and whistled like a demented droid. Then the Imperial March fore-shadowed an announcement by Headmaster Vader.

‘The following students will report for detention after school today,’ the Headmaster’s voice wheezed asthmatically.

This was greeted with a chorus of groans. The students knew Headmaster Vader ruled with an iron fist, ruthlessly crushing any sign of rebellion amongst the student body.

‘Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa,’ said Vader. ‘For Inappropriate Public Display of Affection.’

‘I didn’t know she was my sister!’ cried Luke.

‘Shut up!’ Leia shouted at him. ‘Or I’ll go all Game of Thrones on your ass!’

Luke shut up while he tried to figure out whether Leia meant she was going to Redshirt him, or Cersei Lannister him.

‘Han Solo. For Destruction of School Property,’ said the Headmaster, referring to a very small fire Han had started in the school public address system.

‘It was a stupid conversation, anyways,’ said Han, shrugging.

‘Chewbacca. For Breaching the Dress Code.’

The long-haired student, who was wearing little more than his hair, just grunted at the speaker.

‘Artoo Deetoo and See Threepio,’ said Vader. ‘For Hacking the school computer systems.’

‘Oh, dear,’ said Threepio, who had an incredibly mild vocabulary for a high school student.

Artoo made up for his friend by saying something so four-letter offensive the director had to bleep, whistle, click and warble it right out of the soundtrack.

‘Artoo, you’re not helping,’ said Threepio.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER SEVEN:

ONE THOUSAND AND ONE MEALS

"Good morning, Captain. It’s been a while since I’ve had the pleasure of seeing you here. Did you come for a breakfast?”

“Good morning KAI. No, this is an official visit”, the Captain said as he walked through the large dining room. He continued: “As you’re aware, ever since we arrived on New Earth five years ago, we’ve started shutting down all the non-essential systems of the ship in order to preserve power. And as you’re also aware, in the past year we have become self-sufficient in producing our own food for the entire colony, and I’m sorry I have to tell you this, but last night the Assembly decided it’s time to shut down the Kitchen system. You have served us well KAI, and we are forever grateful for that”.

The Kitchen AI did not sound fazed at all. “But Captain, shutting me down would be a huge mistake. As you said it yourself, I am well aware that the colony has finally managed to start producing more than enough food, and just a couple of days ago I decided that the time has finally come to unpack the Old-Earth Cookbook package.”

“The Old-Earth Cookbook package? What the hell is that? This is the first time I hear of it”.

“Captain, let me explain. The voyage to the New Earth lasted more than two thousand years, so the food supplies had to be rationed. According to the instructions I was given by my makers, the meals I have been serving for generations on this ship were just generic meals, designed to provide the sufficient nutrients necessary for a healthy life, not taking into account the taste or the visual presentations of the meals. What you’ve been eating your entire life would’ve been called porridge on the Old Earth and not a lot of people would be willing to eat it, if I may say so. But it had to be done, otherwise the crew would have starved a long time ago. But now that you’ve managed to establish sustainable food production, everything’s changed. Now you can eat meals that look good, taste good and have all the adequate nutrients. Just like they did on the Old Earth.”

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER EIGHT:

RESVRGAM

What a vulgar party. It was only 9pm, yet Vivienne was already hot, sweaty and ready to happily leave these ostentatious guests to their extravagant fundraising and mutual self-‐congratulation. She fished a bottle of water from her shoulder bag and took a long, delicious swig. The champagne and cocktails being served by the waiting staff in penguin suits certainly looked like an attractive means of negotiating the night, but she decided to maintain professionalism and stick to the water, at least until she had enough for her article. But what the hell was there to write about? The actual donations wouldn’t begin for another hour or so, and there seemed nary a soul who would speak with her until then. She slipped between a few good looking cliques, trying to get a glimpse of Anton Petrowski, the billionaire philanthropist who was hosting the gathering, but he was nowhere to be seen.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
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STORY NUMBER NINE:

SLIM PICKINGS


“They’ve got Lila”.

Ray Rouge eased down the Rangers throttle; his arm shook as the airships engine cranks chugged to a crawl. The slam van shot off between two stars and wheeled east into darkness. He sat back in his seat and frowned, a finger scratched at his well groomed goatee.

“Why we stopping,” Tasha demanded. She lit a smoke and gave him that look.

“Look where they’re heading.” He unsnapped his seatbelt and flicked his wrist. An interstellar map glowed into life displaying a carousel of surrounding planets that danced before them, blinking like fireflies in the dark. Ray dragged his finger east and pointed to an ink black spot in space.

“So, what’s out there?” She snarled, her eyes burning into him.

“The Kraken,” Ray said. Meeting her gaze, her pupils growing large.

She turned away and slunk deep into her seat. “I thought that slam was just a myth Ray.”

He re-clipped his seatbelt and sat forward punching co-ordinates into the Alice’s computer. “So did I sis, until I met a crook who broke out, lets pay him a visit first,” he said.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER TEN:

STEAMSPACE

The SSS Moonwalker floated toward Jupiter, her boilers space cold and undergoing cleaning. The 'boy' engaged in the task was entirely clockwork (regulations on child employment passed by an unrealistic parliament two years previously having prevented the economically more reasonable solution) and had been very expensive, but required no sustenance, food, air, nor drink, and made no mischief during quiet times as cheap orphans might, so even if he did require a real crewman to rewind him quite frequently whenever he was on a serious job, like now, he was actually quite close to paid off.

Captain Joshua Threadking was clad in his vulcanised, airtight æthersuit, just the helmet and gauntlets detached, clamped beside him in their reserved spaces in the varnished walnut control panel, to prevent them flying around should there be an impact, while keeping them to hand should any leak, either their air escaping or poison mingling into it, occur- and they'd all trained to seal up in less than a minute. All workstations were set up like this; Joshua was a careful, methodical man who had been a commander in her Imperial Majesty's wet navy, and maintained a high level of safety, even at the expense of comfort - the suits did get hot and sweaty, and the constant volume joints reduced dexterity, but he'd never had a member of his crew damaged in a depressurisation incident, something that couldn't be said of all ships in the service.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER ELEVEN:

THE STING

The shooting in the street made Salvatore pause his cleaning. Laser weapons. He moved over to the door and glanced out. People are panicking and I smell the stench of cooking flesh. He flicked the switch on the door to illuminate the closed sign and lock up the building.

When he turned back, Tommaso had his head round the partition, shouting. 'Hey, Salvatore! Why you closing so early?'

Wash your ears out, Old Man. 'They're shooting up the Corazzieri again,' he said, making his voice sound polite. No one dared be anything else around Tommaso Mosca, next in line to be the capo di tutti capii of the Corleonasi Clan. 'No point in taking chances, Don Tommaso.'

The glare could have meant anything, but Salvatore took it to mean agreement. The big man had come here tonight without his usual protection. His men waited outside, hidden on rooftops and in doorways along the surrounding streets – there was no need for the lumbering, brainless muscle of the old days, not with modern surveillance equipment. The Family owned this planet and not a scitch-lizard moved without them knowing.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________


STORY NUMBER TWELVE:

THREE WORDS

The lights flickered quickly down the hallway, making my vision swim. All signs over the past few weeks had pointed me to this moment. I nodded to Sarah who stood with her back to the door, and her salt gun raised. A strange odour cast out from the school's music room. The soundproofed door was black and didn't have one of those regular small windows with mesh inside like the other classrooms at this inner-city school did.

On the count of three she moved and I whispered three words as I kicked at the door. It went flying in, and was left hanging by the top hinge only. In that instant my body felt the weeks of sleep deprivation and mental exhaustion it had been brutalized by. I shook it off and raised my hand towards the blackness in the corner of the room.

It hovered there, crackling energy as it sucked the life out of the students hanging by their feet from the ceiling. The lights in the room had long ago blown out but Sarah and I had flipped our lenses over to darkness. I could see each of the kids wriggle and fight to stay alive but the demon just laughed at them. It hardly seemed to take us as a threat as we closed in on it, still sucking away. It was getting stronger every moment we let it linger and it knew it.

______________________________________________________________________________________________

STORY NUMBER THIRTEEN:

WELCOME IN, HUMANS

That's right, I'm a theropod. In a few hundred million years my descendants might be turkeys - and you've come here assuming that my intelligence is at least as low as theirs. What does that say about you, jumped up mammals? That, into which you have all fallen, is a pit trap, which you might get round to inventing some day. If you survive, which doesn't, at this point, seem likely. We also have sapling nooses, triggered rock slides, falling cages - all sorts of things you and your kin forced us to learn over the centuries.

Please put down those metal tubes. We have had centuries to learn what they can do, and doubtless more advanced models. We don't want to damage you, but would prefer to fill in the hole entirely - with you at the bottom - than let you out armed.

You've just discovered time folding, and the greater the displacement the greater the precision - you might even be the first on your time line to do so, if 'first' has any meaning in folded time.

I am Ghasssid, your interpreter and issuer of orders. Very few here will speak your language, but all will be treated as if they were your superiors - because we are.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
 
And just making it in under the wire, so there is no need to change the list of authors:

STORY NUMBER FOURTEEN:

[UNTITLED]

My next client was late. I pulled out my phone to check the time against the clock on the wall. Not that late; I thought what a pity it was that modern satellite timekeeping had made it impossible to fool oneself into getting places on time by setting the time five minutes ahead. I made a mental note to suggest that technique to my client, if he ever showed up.

I got up and walked around my desk, reaching the doorway just in time to see my client poking his head through the front door. It was an egg-shaped head, with the big end up, and it appeared to be pushing out of a hairline that most people would call receding. I knew better, because that hairline had always looked exactly the same.

Finally! I thought.

I’d been catching glimpses of this guy, all over the world, for close to a hundred years. I’d seen him at airports, in train stations, and on docks, and across more crime scene tape than I could measure in a lifetime, even mine, but he’d never come close enough to talk to me. Now, for a refreshing change, he’d actually called up my office and made an appointment. I pushed a nameless bit of dread firmly down inside: after all this time, for him to be standing here, wanting to talk to me, there must be something terribly wrong.

He stepped through the door but didn’t close it. His head looked even larger on his slight frame. Though his body, like mine, gave the appearance of a human about thirty years of age, his large, brown eyes were much older. I held out my hand, but didn’t step closer, like greeting a wild animal in the forest.

“Jo Morrell,” I said. “And you must be Rick.” That was the name he’d given when he made the appointment, anyway.

#

“I want you to help me find my people,” said Rick. He sat perched on the edge of the chair across from me.

“Your … people,” I said. “Your family?”

“Family, yes. But it’s more than that.” He drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. “You have a helper … an assistant. Could you … I wonder if you could have him check me out? It would be much easier.”

“Charlie. My partner,” I said, leaning back in my chair and blowing out a breath. “You’re an alien, and you want to talk to a ghost?”
 
So, after exhaustive scientific analysis, I have some guesses. (Hastily hides dartboard)

chrispenycate - WELCOME IN HUMANS

David Evil Overlord - MAY THE FARCE BE WITH YOU

DG Jones - UNTITLED

TheDustyZebra - LAURA AND THE MANXOME FOE

holland - THREE WORDS

johnnyjet - RESVRGAM

Kerrybuchanan - THE AURYNS, IN THE HOT MISTS

Phyrebrat - THE STING, STEAMSPACE

ratsy - ONE THOUSAND AND ONE MEALS

The Storyteller - THE IMMORTALS

Twistedlemon - GHOST GAMES

Vaz - SLIM PICKINGS

It turns out this is hard.
 
We're supposed to guess all of them? XD only one I think I know is mine.
May the farce be with you-DEO.

Not gonna lie it was the funniest fanficton I've ever read. Love that potato at the end.
 
We have a late entry.

STORY NUMBER FIFTEEN

FAIRY FUN

Floopsy hid out in the Mulberry bushes as the huge Mantid swarm scuttered past. He looked across the field at Chubney, safe high in his tree as usual, and breathed a sigh of relief. Uneaten for at least one more day.

Of course, the Troll-horde would be along in a few hours like every day, but Floopsy had little fear of dull-witted Trolls. He wandered over to Chubney’s tree and yelled up at him. “Chub! You comin’ down t’day?”

“Nope, Dope.” came back from somewhere above, “You must be kiddin’. I’m stayin’ hidden.”

“What? Why? There’s nothing to fear down here. Me and Glibnar are going to take a stroll to the magic waterfall. Why doncha come along?”

“No. You go. I stay here, drink beer, no fear, I watch your rear.”

Floopsy shrugged as he meandered off to meet Glibnar at the waterfall. Chubney was getting more paranoid every day. It had been weeks since he had let down his rope, actually made of woven fairy-hair, and stood on the ground with Floopsy or any other residents of the Happy Golden Valley.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

POSSIBLE AUTHORS:

Mad Alice

Cascade

J Riff

jastius

marmalade

Germinad

David Doherty-Jebb
 
Pictures Phyre with a Sherlock Holmes hat and a microscope, looking at his computer screen.

Personally, I'm going to use a crystal ball. Much more effective.
 
I have had a volunteer send me another story.

STORY NUMBER SIXTEEN

[UNTITLED]

Wailing sirens filled the air, adding an extra layer of tension in this back-alley. Streetlights barely reached this far, and darkness lurked in deep shadows.

A boy stood, poised to flee, eyes white against black skin, while another boy towered over him. This one's street gear marked him as a wide-boy, a street-wise kid with greasy flares and an afro he'd had to pay for.

'All right.' Joey glanced over his shoulder, to where people walked past in the rain on the road. Real people, shoppers with families and money. 'I'll do it.'

'You sure you're not chicken?' the older boy taunted. 'Not gonna run home to yer Mam?'

Joey tightened his lips, tasting salt in with the rain. 'Giz it. I said I'll do it an' I will.'

The other boy grinned at him, a knowing grin that sent chills down Joey's back. 'Okay, kid. Here it is.' He handed over a package, wrapped in brown paper. 'You know where?'

'Yeah, I know. The old woman at—'

'No names!' The white boy grasped him by the throat, choking him, and pushed him back against the wall. Fingers tightened on his windpipe, cutting off his air. His attacker pushed his face right up to Joey's, eyes half closed into mean little slits that threatened more than words. Darkness lurked at the edges of Joey's vision.

_________________________________________________________________________________

The author may be any of the ones listed in the first post of this thread.
 
I've been trying to work out who wrote what, but I ended up with the usual blindfold and pin approach, so if anyone finds themselves with small puncture marks in unexpected places, its not a genetically modified vampire, but my attempts at guessing.

So here goes. There's one I'm fairly sure I've got, because I recognise the style, but the rest are total guesses and with therefore be all wrong. I have obviously not guessed my own correctly!

The Auryns -- ratsy
Ghost Games -- Phyrebrat
The Immortals -- Twisted Lemon
In the Hot Mists -- DG Jones
Laura and the Manxome Foe -- Robert McKay
May the Farce be with you -- Vaz
1001 Meals -- TDZ
Resurgam -- Chrispy
Slim Pickings -- The Storyteller
Steamspace -- Chrispy
The Sting -- Phyrebrat
Three Words -- johnnyjet
Welcome In, Humans -- Holland
Untitled 1 -- DEO
Fairy Fun -- DDJ
Untitled 2 -- DG Jones
 

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