Should I split a long novel?

[Kerrybuchanan]

Critiques will definitely help you. It doesn't need to be a huge chunk (says the person @The Judge had to rein in a year ago -- for forgetting the rules and submitting about 3k in an excess of enthusiasm!). Even a short excerpt will give you lots of useful critiquing and you can extrapolate the things you learn to the rest of the book.

I have learned more from this forum than from writing classes and writing groups (with the exception of my current group who are all incredible writers and coincidentally all Chronners).

 

[Tim Murray]

If you're looking for constructive feedback, then now you've reached 30 posts you can put unpublished work up in Critiques. Read the rules and guidelines first, though, the most important rule being the limit of 1500 words -- but a good bit less, say around 750 words, is usually best for a first extract.

That scares me a bit, as my English is not stellar. It's one thing putting it into hands of friends, but another to put out to peers for the first time.

 

[anthorn]

Why and what makes it a mess? A few specifics might help. I am open to feedback that improves my writing.

Mine in italics.
Just then, two phase blasts hit The Armstrong, one just aft of the bridge and another port side, at mid-ship. The bridge exploded with debris, everyone was slammed into something solid or found themselves on the deck. Commander Morgan rose first with blood dripping from a head wound. He still had his senses about him. Captain Arnold lay bleeding on the deck, along with half of the bridge crew.

Just then, two phase blast hit The Armstrong, one just aft of the bridge, another at port side mid-ship. The bridge exploded with debris, the shock slamming people into walls or down on the ground. Commander Morgan rose first, blood dripping from a wound on his head.


“Mikal! We just received a message from HQ on screen. It’s marked urgent! Mikal!”
There should be a new paragraph here so it doesn't look as though you'vegot two people spreaking in the same paragraph.
Mikal roused himself from his nap, “Vander, you’re on this shift. What’s so damned important that you have to wake me up?”

“sh*t! Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” Mikal responded as he rose out of his bunk quickly for a large man, most of Mikal’s bulk was muscle. Should be a comma here. (most of Mikal's bulk was muscle, with a little belly he was planning on working off) With a little belly that he swore he was going to work off when this present assignment was over. He joined Vander at the central console and studied the message.

"sh*t! Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Mikal responded, rising out of the bunk with a speed belying his large frame. Though he'd like to say most of the bulk was muscle there was still a belly he swore he was going to work off soon as this assignment was done.

 

[Tim Murray]

Mine in italics.
Just then, two phase blasts hit The Armstrong, one just aft of the bridge and another port side, at mid-ship. The bridge exploded with debris, everyone was slammed into something solid or found themselves on the deck. Commander Morgan rose first with blood dripping from a head wound. He still had his senses about him. Captain Arnold lay bleeding on the deck, along with half of the bridge crew.

Just then, two phase blast hit The Armstrong, one just aft of the bridge, another at port side mid-ship. The bridge exploded with debris, the shock slamming people into walls or down on the ground. Commander Morgan rose first, blood dripping from a wound on his head.


“Mikal! We just received a message from HQ on screen. It’s marked urgent! Mikal!”
There should be a new paragraph here so it doesn't look as though you'vegot two people spreaking in the same paragraph.
Mikal roused himself from his nap, “Vander, you’re on this shift. What’s so damned important that you have to wake me up?”

“sh*t! Why didn’t you say so in the first place?” Mikal responded as he rose out of his bunk quickly for a large man, most of Mikal’s bulk was muscle. Should be a comma here. (most of Mikal's bulk was muscle, with a little belly he was planning on working off) With a little belly that he swore he was going to work off when this present assignment was over. He joined Vander at the central console and studied the message.

"sh*t! Why didn't you say so in the first place?" Mikal responded, rising out of the bunk with a speed belying his large frame. Though he'd like to say most of the bulk was muscle there was still a belly he swore he was going to work off soon as this assignment was done.

Mmmm, thanks for recommendations. Looks like it will need another go around if this is an example. I'm going to bite the bullet and post the first example on critiques. Looking forward to more corrections.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

That scares me a bit, as my English is not stellar. It's one thing putting it into hands of friends, but another to put out to peers for the first time.

Well, yes, but you're planning to put it out to readers....? They will be much less forgiving than other writers who've made the same errors and walked the same journey. Crits do sting, like hell sometimes. But they're the only way to build the thick skin you will need should you publish. Believe me, bad reviews sting much, much worse.

 

[StuartBurchell]

Maybe it shouldn't The Armstrong, but maybe;

Just then, two phase blasts hit the Armstrong,

I presume the Armstrong is the name of a ship.

I am writing a military sci fi nautical book, and when describing ship names I go FAC Excalibur, HMS Victory, USS Torpedo, or if I do not use the prefix, simply go with the name in italics.

 

[Kerrybuchanan]

Critiques do hurt, @Tim Murray, but it is worth the pain. What you need to remember is that we are genuinely trying to help. We don't have any axe to grind, and we have ALL been there.

My first crit reduced me to tears and it could have put me off ever writing another word, but instead I got angry. At first I was angry with the people who'd shredded my first born child, then I realised they were right, then I got stuck into learning how to make my writing better. I'm still learning (I don't think that bit ever ends), but my writing is getting better all the time. Nowadays I relish the criticism, because I know it's more fuel to keep me improving.

 

[Tim Murray]

Critiques do hurt, @Tim Murray, but it is worth the pain. What you need to remember is that we are genuinely trying to help. We don't have any axe to grind, and we have ALL been there.

My first crit reduced me to tears and it could have put me off ever writing another word, but instead I got angry. At first I was angry with the people who'd shredded my first born child, then I realised they were right, then I got stuck into learning how to make my writing better. I'm still learning (I don't think that bit ever ends), but my writing is getting better all the time. Nowadays I relish the criticism, because I know it's more fuel to keep me improving.

I found the critiques very helpful. It confirmed two things. My writing doesn't totally suck and I have a lot to learn. I will enjoy the re-write, really. It also raises questions for the rest of the book. Thanks for the support.

 

[PartialMitch]

First a caveat: I gave up on finding a publisher months ago. For one thing, my novel is a superhero story, so it's definitely niche. Back when I was shopping around for an agent, I received very complimentary rejections across the board ("Great story! It's just not my cup of tea.") Also, the financial incentives for self-publishing aren't bad, and the company that supplies printed books for Amazon has an extended sales option where they work to get it into stores. I eventually got to the point where I couldn't really see a reason to have a publisher, especially since my main goal is simply to tell the story. Amazon's the biggest book store in the world and the royalties are nice. My book has been for sale for a couple of weeks now, and I've already made a few hundred bucks ... and I have yet to invest in advertising or marketing (but that is in the works).

So with that in mind, my only answer to this question is this: Let the story tell you where to end.

My first novel is in the mid-400s (about 140k words) and I intend on keeping the rest around the same length ... but I did not begin that way. My first draft was over 250k words. And then I realized that the story needed to end at one particular moment. The themes of the first half and second half (while complimentary) were not identical. Yeah, that meant that my first novel ends on something of a downer, with many things unresolved and several major characters not even introduced. But so be it. Ending the story at that first half (and adding a bit more to flesh it out) made more sense dramatically, thematically and most importantly for the characters.

When in doubt (as others have suggested) let other people tell you. I shopped my book out to as many proof readers as I could find ... and I tried to get a wide range of people, of varying ages and interests. Yeah, my closest friends provided the most consistent source of advice, but the best were three people that don't even like to read fiction. I was actually surprised by the number of people who wanted to read it upon learning I was writing, and I always sent to to anyone who asked.

The most important part is this: Tell your readers to focus on what they don't like. Tell them you would rather hear criticism and complaints than compliments ... and mean it.

Friends, family, coworkers and acquaintances will shower you with praise, whether they legitimately believe you've written something great or instead are merely being polite—that's just human nature—and it is difficult to separate the two, regardless of how objective you try to be. But if you tell them to look for what they don't like, to make notes about things that bothered, confused or bored them, then they will be more likely to give you an honest appraisal.

Nobody likes to be criticized, naturally ... you have to learn to love it. You have to learn to need it. Because those complaints are your only true guide toward writing something good. Writing is a craft as much as an art—it required tinkering, adjusting, building and fixing things—so never take criticism, even very negative criticism, as anything other than greatly needed advice.