Discussion Thread -- May 2016 75-word Writing Challenge

My story, I thought, was mostly self-explanatory -- it's the soundtrack of an advert offering travel to parallel Earths -- but reading the various "analyses", I'm not sure the full import of the last line --
Ursa major said:
The voiceover artist wanted to add, “Just don’t expect too many more tomorrows!” but preferred a dull life.
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-- was recognised.

In effect, the voiceover artist expected to be despatched (pun intended) to one of the parallel Earths (all of which, s/he believes, offer those going there very limited prospects for survival) if s/he told the truth.

To be fair to those not noticing this, it was more implied than spelt out. (My excuse is that some of us like our challenge entries to have hidden "depths"....)
 
Buhhh... What? You... say what? OK clearly some weird quantum effects going on here! I'll get my own short list up, and a proper thank you list, by tonight, but (as i'm stood on a train platform on my way to edinburgh right noa) I'll just say a big, big thank you to everyone who gave me a vote or a mention, and well done to everyone: There were a lot of amazing stories this month as always!
 
A big hearty congratulations to StilLearning!

CONGRATULATIONS

And a thanks to Remedy for the sneaky vote I missed - and to Bowler too, but I've mentioned that already.
 
Congrats, StilLearning!

Thanks to those who mentioned or listed my story this month! I actually had two stories this go around, which never happens to me, and I ended up posting the one I got under seventy-five first and then pretty much regretting it straight away. I was thinking of saving the other one to see if it fit a future challenge, but that seems against the spirit of the challenges, so here it is (still a little over the word limit because the word-count fairy is off-duty):

And On The First Day

Witness, the gods of creation:

‘Nice place we’ve made here,’ said Bob.

‘I particularly like the wossnames,’ said Gerry. ‘Mountains.’

‘Could be taller, though, yeah?’

Lo, the mountains were taller.

‘Better. Still, something’s missing.’

‘What’s that?’

‘Dunno. Just … nothing’s happening.’

‘I see what you mean. Here.’ Gerry snapped his fingers. There was a change.

‘Whoa,’ said Bob. ‘What was that?’

‘I call it time.’

‘What’s it do?’

Gerry shrugged. ‘Turns tomorrows into yesterdays.’

‘Right.’ Bob nodded. ’Nice. Wait, what’s a tomorrow?’
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Congratulations to StillLearning!

Just to share with you the inspiration for my story, a snippet of film that I've always remembered...

 
Nice one StilLearning! :)

Tip of the hat to Parson, HazelRah, Moonbat and Vaz for the mentions and to Victoria S, Perpetual Man, Shyrka and H Xavier for reviewing everyone!
 
Congrats, StilLearning!

I got the source of your inspiration, reiver, even before I noticed you'd made it clear in the title! A terribly spine-chilling song. I recall reading somewhere that the songwriters wanted to use the original Horst Wessel song for that scene, but weren't allowed for some reason (?copyright?) and so had to write their own, and it was so convincing that some people insisted they'd heard it sung before and during the war by the Nazis.


I found it really hard to come up with a story this month and nearly didn't enter. Up until Monday evening I'd had no inspiration at all, and even then I was stuck for ages trying to get a story based on the lines from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam:

Ah, fill the Cup: -- what boots it to repeat
How Time is slipping underneath our Feet:
Unborn To-morrow, and dead Yesterday
Why fret about them if To-day be sweet!​

But I couldn't get anything from it, and in desperation scribbled down the reverse ageing one. It only struck me after I'd posted that there was another verse in the Rubaiyat which might have yielded something very SFFy if I'd had time:

Ah, my Belovéd, fill the Cup that clears
To-day of past Regrets and future Fears -
To-morrow?-- Why, To-morrow I may be
Myself with yesterday's Sev'n Thousand Years.​

Whether anyone else would have got the allusion, however, is debatable, so I was probably better off having forgotten it!
 
I am still reeling slightly! I'll try and repay all your kindness with an interesting but reasonable theme and genre for June! In the meantime, here's my vote, shortlist, and longlist:

Vote: Siren Call -- Ursa major
“Do Not Press” (the red button) -- Glen
No more tomorrows -- Bowler1
The Tale of Saynt and Dargon -- Perpetual Man
The Next Time I Open My Eyes -- sinister42
Prophesy Ends -- Parson
How the Creatures of the Muffincake Kingdom Suppose Their World Will End -- Johnny Appleseed
Nineteen Nanoseconds Per Second – Moonbat
An Other -- Wruter

Thanks for the votes mosaix, Parson, HareBrain, Bob Senior, Glen, johnnyjet, sinister42! And thanks to everyone who gave me a mention, short , long, or honourable.
 
CONGRATS STILL LEARNING----great story.


Thanks to, Victoria, Perp Man, Shyrka and H Xavier for the reviews, much appreciated.

Thanks to Nixie for the short listing, Droflet for the Best of the Best listing and H Xavier for the long listing, very kind.

H Xavier, I know you put a lot of work into your reviews and comments, I didn't understand half of the scoring, no make that ANY of the scoring method but I appreciate all the effort, keep up the good work.

My story was about a DOLL, purchased at Wal-Mart in the clearance isle late one nite. From some of the comments I felt that the reader may have thought I was telling a tale of real child, but if you have to explain 'em I guess they don't work.

Can't wait for the next one!

Bob
 
StilLearning said:
I am still reeling slightly! I'll try and repay all your kindness with an interesting but reasonable theme and genre for June! In the meantime, here's my vote, shortlist, and longlist:

Vote: Siren Call -- Ursa major
“Do Not Press” (the red button) -- Glen
No more tomorrows -- Bowler1
The Tale of Saynt and Dargon -- Perpetual Man
The Next Time I Open My Eyes -- sinister42
Prophesy Ends -- Parson
How the Creatures of the Muffincake Kingdom Suppose Their World Will End -- Johnny Appleseed
Nineteen Nanoseconds Per Second – Moonbat
An Other -- Wruter

Thanks for the votes mosaix, Parson, HareBrain, Bob Senior, Glen, johnnyjet, sinister42! And thanks to everyone who gave me a mention, short , long, or honourable.
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Thanks for the shortlist! :)
 
Congratulations @StilLearning I loved your story from the very first. Also thanks so much for the Long listing.

The inspiration for my story lies in the misty, musty, muscles of my memory. Years and years ago, I couldn't begin to say when. I saw a T.V. program (Outer Limits?) where a young girly could prophesy accurately about some small short term stuff, and then one day she prophesies that tomorrow starts the golden age of peace and prosperity and the world goes delirious with celebration and joy. Her "handler?" says, "You know you can't make such prophesies your gift doesn't work that way." And she replies "You know that I can only foresee things that I know something about and I was reading a science text. Yesterday I read about novas. It happens tomorrow and I wanted to give everyone a wonderful day."
When I thought about it, I thought that kind of story would never work in today's world, at least as it seems to me, because we are too jaded and too critical to believe something like "Tomorrow starts the golden age." But the seed had been planted about something which could have happened.
 
I love writing these 75 worders. Nowhere else would I have thought of writing anything where one character reads from the end, while the other reads from the top while his language falls apart. Very nice to get a few mentions for something that is not easy on the reader.

Thanks to Jenkins and Smythe for agreeing to appear in yet another story.
 
Thanks for the mentions / shortlists to Heijan, Sinister, Bowler, Johnnyjet, nixie, TDZ, Harebrain and UM. :)

And thanks again for the vote to Cory Swanson.

Role on June. :)
 
Okay, here are my favourites. As said UT, I voted for Robert Mackay but was on my phone so didn't want to fuss with my shortlist. Now I'm back home...

Shortlist
Ashleyne B Watts
hopewrites
VB
Cascade
chrispenycate
Remedy
DG Jones
TDZ
Parson
TJ

The Final Five
Shyrka
Victoria
Mr Orange
Moonbat
Robert Mackay*

It was a battle between Victoria and Robert. Victoria's delicate and nostalgic prose often get my votes, and I'm pre-sold to anything about The Renaissance, Florence or La Serenissima Repubblica di Venezia, but Robert's exceedingly clever concept pipped my bias to this month's pH vote :)

Congratulations to all, and thank you for the mentions.

pH
 
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