Book descriptions, blurbs, blah blah blah

[Nick B]

So, you've written a 96,000 word novel, all those words. A complete story, with a start, middle and an ending. How awesome is that? So why is it so bloody hard to write a blurb? I mean, come on, really?
We are really struggling with writing a book description for Liberator that doesn't read like someone from the Daily Mail wrote it. In crayon. On the floor.

Why is it so hard? You have to tell the prospective reader what the story is, but not actually tell them the story. Surely that shouldn't take a degree in astro-physics, or nine years experience exploring lost, ancient temples in the Amazonian rain forest. It's just a tiny version of the story, with no spoilers, isn't it?

Maybe I should ask someone to read it, and get them to write the description...

 

[Phyrebrat]

Sorry I can't help inasmuch as I haven't finished a full novel yet, but FWIW, I am dreading this bit. And the synopsis. And the query. And my bio. And my parents reading it and discovering I know Bad Words.

One way I can help; I can tell you where the best Olmec temples are

pH

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Ha! It's hell. It does get easier, eventually. Why not chuck up what you have do far and see if we can maul it in crits or the writing group?

 

[Dan Jones]

I think you should put up that last post Jo, it deserves a bit of a "mailing" of its own...

 

[Phyrebrat]

For once I'm not the troll around here <looking at DG>

pH

 

[Dan Jones]

I think you should put up that last post on crits Jo, it deserves a bit of a "mailing" of its own...

As for blurbs, I actually find they come reasonably easy. Whether they're any good or not is another thing entirely.

However, synopses are the Devil's work. Two A4 sides of pure evil.

 

[Dan Jones]

Crap. Hoisted by own petard. Double post.

 

[Nick B]

I'm going to wang this on here for now, it isn't complete, but I don't really know how much more is needed to be honest. I know this isn't enough, and I know it's bad, but is it something to work with?

Liberator


Orlanda Nixon, heiress to the Nixon Combined Technology Corporation, finds herself drawn into a fight she cannot handle when her lifelong friend is taken hostage by a ruthless enemy. In desperation, she turns to the remnants of her old unit for help.

Colonel JJ Tristan, last officer of the Liberators, gets the call he has been waiting years for; the chance to reform the once great band of warriors. But is eight years apart too long, are there enough of them left, and can they rebuild the cohesion and capability needed to rescue one of their own? Loyalties are tested, and old wounds opened, but no Liberator was ever left behind, and no price was ever too high.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Okey dokey, I will be picky.


Liberator


Orlanda Nixon, heiress to the Nixon Combined Technology Corporation -do we need all this detail in the very first line?, finds herself drawn into a fight she cannot handle a bit vague when her lifelong friend name? is taken hostage by a ruthless enemy. A tad cliched - how are they ruthless In desperation, she turns to the remnants of her old unit for help. Here we have a hook...

Colonel JJ Tristan, last officer of the Liberators, gets the call he has been waiting years for; the chance to reform the once great band of warriors. But is eight years apart too long, are there enough of them left, and can they rebuild the cohesion and capability needed to rescue one of their own? I'd break that up and make it snappierLoyalties are tested, and old wounds opened, but no Liberator was ever left behind, and no price was ever too highi know you love this line but it means nothing here, is confusing and i'd put the book down on the back of it.

If I were rewriting it I'd something like (trying to keep your words):

Heiress Orlanda Nixon's hidden past is called upon when her lifelong friend, X, is taken hostage by the ruthless X. In desperation, she turns to the remants of her old unit for help.

Colonel JJ Tristan, last officer of the Liberators, has doubts. It's been eight years since his once great band of warriors were called upon. Can they rebuild the cohesion they once had to rescue one of their own? It will test every loyalty they've ever had and open old wounds. But no Liberator has ever been left behind and JJ isn't about to allow that now.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I think I would definitely lose the NCT part -- it doesn't matter for this. Keep Jo working -- she's getting there.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Blurbs are small evil pieces of custard or whatever rude substance you care to name.

I was given a fab piece of advice from Ben Galley: Pick a vibe you want to portray to your reader and write the blurb round that rather than shoehorning the story into an inadequate number of words.

The advice gave Black's Nest's blurb a much needed kick up the backside.

Your blurb I think is telling us too much of the story whilst not giving us enough reason to want to read it. My rewrite might go something like:

The last officer of the Liberators is given the call he's waited eight years for -- it's time to reform.

Orlanda Nixon's lifelong friend is taken hostage. The former liberator turns to the remnants of her old unit for help.

Colnel JJ Tristan has his doubts. The unit has been apart for eight years, can they rebuild the cohesion they once had to rescue one of their own? Their loyalty is tested to the limit and old torments are revisited. But JJ holds true to the unit's motto: No Liberator Left Behind and No Price is Too High.

 

[Phyrebrat]

I like Jo's a lot, too.

She doesn't know it yet, but she'll be writing mine

pH

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I like Jo's a lot, too.

She doesn't know it yet, but she'll be writing mine

pH

For a small fee.. Like purchasing my book.

Oh, hang on.

You're on.

 

[Nick B]

Thanks guys, you are all awesome. I'll get back to you.

 

[Brian G Turner]

Blurbs are hard. A suggestion would be to state the protagonist, their situation, their conflict, then the antagonist and how they are trying to prevent that conflict being resolved. That way you're focused on core details, rather than generic statements.

 

[HareBrain]

I think the danger is it's not clear who the MC is. Does Orlanda even go on the mission, or does she just introduce the story, which then passes to Tristan?

 

[Nick B]

Heiress Orlanda Nixon's past is called upon when her lifelong friend, Skye Pennington, is taken hostage by the twisted CEO of Danar Industries. In desperation, she turns to the remants of their old unit for help.

Colonel JJ Tristan, last officer of the Liberators, has his doubts. It's been eight years since the once great band of warriors were broken apart. Can they put together a team good enough to rescue one of their own in time? It will test their loyalty, and open old wounds. But the Liberators never left anyone behind, and JJ isn't going to allow that to happen now.

 

[Brian G Turner]

Who is the main character? Is it Tristan? If so, mention him first, and focus on him. Also, be more specific - you're not actually telling us anything about the story, other than making generic statements. We have no idea of context - is this present day, alternative, or SF? Also, what are the stakes?

Not sure if it helps, but here's the blurb for one of Lee Child's books where there's a team involved:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0031RS44S/?tag=brite-21

 

[Nick B]

There isn't a 'main' character as such. This is one of the things making a blurb problematic. There are maybe six focus characters. Trying to keep the description short is hard, and I personaly don't like long descriptions, but in this case, I think it will have to be.
I'll get to work on it tonight.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

There isn't a 'main' character as such. This is one of the things making a blurb problematic. There are maybe six focus characters. Trying to keep the description short is hard, and I personaly don't like long descriptions, but in this case, I think it will have to be.
I'll get to work on it tonight.

It's always a problem, but most books are multi stranded. Choose the most exciting one and roll with it.