An article to put grammar nazis in their place

That may be the most suorcidul** thing I've ever read on this website. [/US English]

Hey! I have a speech impediment, called by its professional term, "Stupidity". Don't make fun!

Well, actually, I was referring to placement. We say "green dress", while the rest of the world says "dress green".

(And would "someone" like to explain whassup with me and all these "quotation marks" recently??)
 
We say "green dress", while the rest of the world says "dress green".
Saying "green dress" rather than "dress green"** is not unique to US English. We say "green dress" over here too. (In fact, we taught you to say it that way....)


** - An injunction to wear sackcloth and ashes...? :rolleyes:
 
I'm wondering how long it'll take before grammarians decide the "rules" of texting. :D

"No, you cannot use more than one emoji in a single line."
What? :eek::confused:o_O:eek:

I can see that happening. I can so see that happening. I do appreciate the rules of grammar. I grasp the bare minimum and I confess this openly, but some people go way over the top.
 
Well, I suppose I am a grammar fascist, in the name of continuous comprehension (any document containing words or phrases which are used, very hip (or cool) for a few months and then disappear is doomed to early obsolescence - even more so than a work which invents new terms internally defined). No character of mine would split an infinitive, and only an evil one would attempt to terminate a proposition with a preposition.

Still, those of you who have been red penned by me (and survived the experience) will know I recognise that a language which is unchanging is no longer a living one l'Académie Français fighting a desperate rear-guard action to prevent anglicisms immigrating into the Hexagone, or even more extreme, classical Arabic not tolerating any word that does not appear in the Koran - I used to dub training films about bulldozers, and the number of occidental words that were essential for the understanding inserted into the text was amazing. So, I'm not trying to block change into complete stasis - all I (and the majority of pedants) are trying for is local stability, try to make sure three successive generations can understand each other's productions, and that the various dialects and geekspeaks do not completely block comprehension (I include legalese among these, as well as text speech and various professional and sporting speciality tongues). I might be old fashioned myself, and prefer 'would it were so' to 'I wish it was', but do not require - nay, do not even desire - that others go by my rules and preferences, merely that there be enough common ground that everyone can follow a book written a few decades earlier, and who knows? Maybe even a television or radio program. Keeping my foot firmly on the brake is only necessary because I've no contact with the steering wheel.

Umm... ok. o_O
 
Two that irk me are the use of "except" for "accept" and "effect" for "affect". Even more annoying is the use of "went" for "go".
Now that is a humdinger!
 
I went to go affect you, but before I had an effect on you I had to accept that I had nothing to gain except to eat cookies.

Now that was tongue in cheek and I may not have even done it right. I get them mixed up all the time, despite keeping my dictionary handy. I can even use force-click on my MBP to instantly get dictionary definitions on any standard word I type, but still I sometimes mix up the "standard really annoying English" words.
 
I went to go affect you, but before I had an effect on you I had to accept that I had nothing to gain except to eat cookies.

Now that was tongue in cheek and I may not have even done it right. I get them mixed up all the time, despite keeping my dictionary handy. I can even use force-click on my MBP to instantly get dictionary definitions on any standard word I type, but still I sometimes mix up the "standard really annoying English" words.
I can understand those very basic mistakes happening when English is in the process of being learned as second language. However, from a person raised and educated in an English-speaking country such as England or the USA confusion over the meaning of such simple words comes across as very unusual.

Example:

Did you ate the apple?

Any person raised in an English-speaking country would know that the above use of "ate" is flawed.
 
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I can understand those very basic mistakes happening when English is in the process of being learned as second language. However, from a person raised and educated in an English-speaking country such as England or the USA confusion over the meaning of such simple words comes across as very unusual.

Example:

Did you ate the apple?

Any person raised in an English-speaking country would know that the above use of "ate" is flawed.

Sure, but native English speakers are unlikely to make that mistake, while it's quite common for people to mix up "effect" and "affect." They even used to be the same word.
 

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