Glen, very good entry. However, have to typed up a translation? Not for me, but non Aussies. Just a thought.
I did promise a translation, but went overseas and left it behind. Back in Oz now, so am able to share. I seems a shame to waste a perfectly good translation which should clarify my story.
Original: Pub with no Beer
‘G’day mate!’
‘G’day!’
‘A cold one!’
‘Sorry, mate, we’re out!’
‘Out!?’
‘On account of the apocalypse.’
‘Apocalypse!?’
‘Didn’t you know!?’
‘Been out bush!’
‘It’s been the end of the world, two weeks Tuesday, mate.’
‘Fair dinkum!?’
‘We’ve had no delivery for a week.’
‘Stone the crows! I’m drier’n a dead dingoes donger and you’ve no amber fluid?!’
‘That’s quite a speech.’
‘Crikey!’
‘I can make you a cup of tea,’
‘Strewth!!!’
Translation (Oz to English): Pub with no Beer
‘Good day to you, sir!’
‘And a very good day to you, sir!’
‘I would very much like to purchase an extremely cold glass of beer, thank you.’
‘I must extend our most sincere apologies. We have no extremely cold beer available.’
‘I am most terribly sorry, but I do not understand your statement. Did you say you had no extremely cold beer available?’
‘I am afraid so, because of the impact of the destruction and damage of the apocalyptic event.’
‘I am terribly sorry. You mentioned an apocalyptic event. Could you please elaborate?’
‘Lawdy lawks! Were you not aware that there had been an apocalyptic event?’
‘I am afraid not. I have been visiting wilderness areas of this continent for some considerable period of time.’
‘The apocalyptic event brought wholesale destruction to civilisation as we know it over two weeks ago.’
‘My word! Is that right!?’
‘As a consequence of the wholesale destruction to civilisation, we have not received any deliveries from our wholesalers of extremely cold beer, and, therefore, we are unable to continue in our retail capacity of, aforesaid, extremely cold beer.’
‘I am extremely disappointed that you have no extremely cold beer. I have been visiting the wilderness areas of your extremely hot and arid continent for some considerable period of time, and, consequentially, I am very thirsty. My throat is as parched as the desiccated remains of the genitalia of a deceased Canis lupus dingo.’
‘That is a most loquacious reply.’
‘I am mortified.’
‘I would be more than pleased to prepare you a hot beverage. Perhaps a cup of tea?!’
‘Strewth!!!’
