Blurb for the New Book

[The Big Peat]

I prefer the second version

 

[HareBrain]

I think second too. However, I'm not convinced either one can withstand a lot of attention. I'm not sure that matters, as the function of that single line that goes at the top of a blurb (often in italics) is to be read quickly and forgotten, I think. And the second one works better at that because it flows better, so basically we just pick out the words "blood" and "death", which sounds promising enough to read the blurb proper.

 

[Toby Frost]

Thanks. I agree that it's not so much literally accurate as a good idea of the feel and content of the book that's important. It doesn't quite make perfect sense - but I think it works, strangely enough.

 

[Teresa Edgerton]

I think it works, too.

 

[CTRandall]

I prefer the second but agree with HareBrain that it's not perfect. Perhaps something along the lines of There's blood in the water and death in the streets? Not much of a difference, I admit.

 

[Dan Camor]

Maybe using a parallel structure in the opening line will help it feel a bit more intentional/pulled together?

Blood in the water, death in the streets...
Blood in the water means death in the streets
Blood in the water. Death in the streets
When there's blood in the water, there's death in the streets

Just a thought! I like the ways you've chosen to integrate the other suggestions above.

 

[Toby Frost]

Thanks! I'll have a think about that. It's very hard to decide when it's finished (or as finished as it can be, which might be the same thing, perhaps...)

 

[HareBrain]

To paraphrase: "a blurb is never finished, only run away from, screaming".

 

[LaMDoH123]

I was tempted to call this thread "Blurb for the Blurb God", but still...

Here is some back-cover text for Blood Under Water, the sequel to Up To The Throne. Any comments welcomed.


When there's blood in the water, there'll be death on the streets...

Giulia thought that coming to Averrio would be the start of a new life. But when a renegade priest turns up dead in a canal, the City Watch needs somebody to take the blame. And who better than a woman with a dark past and an even darker future?

Now Giulia has seven days to clear her name and defeat a conspiracy of killers who have become both more and less than human. As the violence mounts and the danger rises, Giulia must overcome an enemy who cannot be caught - and friends who cannot be trusted.


I like the juxtaposition of enemies and friends in the last line. I wonder about "take on" or "deal with" instead of "overcome". Another idea I had (which is correct in terms of the content) would be to use a tagline like "One week to find a killer - or die", but that sounds a bit too much like a crime novel to me. Thanks!

"Blurb for the blurb god." Love the warhammer reference. Anyway, I think this is alright. It did what it was supposed to do and got me interested. It's a difficult balance between enticing someone to read it and not giving too much of the game away. As has been mentioned in other comments, you may have gone a little too spoilery with the final bit. Maybe just cut it out entirely? Also, I was a little confused by the title of "Blood under Water" and the line "blood in the water."

 

[Toby Frost]

I'm replying to this rather belatedly but thanks! I actually wrote for Warhammer (well, Black Library) for a while. Yes, that is a bit confusing. Anyhow, it's out in the wild now, but thanks for your comments.