novels to read to understand the true meaning of love

[vanye]

How marvellous to see this quote! Fromm wasn't just one of the great humanists, he was one of the great human beings. An extraordinary man. Great to see that people still remember him 40 years after he died.

His books influenced my life profoundly. It was a long process, though. On first reading I understood intellectually what he is saying and it was a bit of a letdown, like: „Duh!“. It took years and lots of mistakes and bad decisions until I finally felt it (or saw it with my heart, to quote that princely little traveller). And then it empowered me, turned my world upside down until finally my feet were firmly on the ground again.

 

[DeltaV]

I would second Ana Karenina, which explores not only love but also it's risks and struggles. And as a small side note, I found the description of the failed romance between Sergei Ivanovich and Varenka ... the mushroom moment ... especially evocative. That moment in romance when things are balanced on a knife's edge and can fall either way.

I see that Becky Chambers' The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet has been mentioned. I picked this book up based on a recommendation elsewhere on this site and it has now been moved to the on-deck circle (Helliconia Winter is now at bat).

Any other science fiction recommendations? I'm trying to think of a SF novel that approaches the depth of, say, Ana Karenina and I'm coming up empty. But perhaps science fiction is not the best setting for that type of story?

 

[olive]

Hi, @Twound . Welcome to the forum. I think I get what you mean. In my opinion, that doesn't reflect reality, it's just a negative effect of the mass communication culture of our times. Exactly like a lot of other things in human life, Love hasn't changed a bit since the dawn of humans because there isn't a manual, formula or how to do for what it is. It's just people have more space to talk about Love, human relationships and people being people -that includes all of the world- talk a LOT of nonsense in general esp. when anonymous. Add to that there are no more different products to sell out there, we are constantly being told what/how to feel, what to be, what to do so there seems to be a 'consensus' on certain things oh according to 'the times'. I also blame the self-help culture. There is big money in selling the oh so ominous nature of men and women in various kits. So, it's just another version of shampoo commercials. In short, it's b******t.

 

[olive]

I personally don't enjoy love or romance as a central theme in any kind of genre in literature but just as a part of life the plot. (Le Guin is an exception.) But in any case, you are in the right place for book recommendations.

 

[Boneman]

Actually, if you want a great non-fiction love story, that I really enjoyed (have to read it again, last read it about 8 years ago) you could do worse than read The Bridge Across Forever by Richard Bach, him wot wrote Jonathan Livingstone Seagull.

 

[Stephen Palmer]

His books influenced my life profoundly. It was a long process, though. On first reading I understood intellectually what he is saying and it was a bit of a letdown, like: „Duh!“. It took years and lots of mistakes and bad decisions until I finally felt it (or saw it with my heart, to quote that princely little traveller). And then it empowered me, turned my world upside down until finally my feet were firmly on the ground again.

Likewise! We clearly think the same of the great man.

 

[Danny McG]

This is unusual, someone asking for a list of books, including sci fi, that help define the true meaning of love, and we have no input from @BAYLOR

 

[Extollager]

C. S. Lewis's underappreciated late novel Till We Have Faces is about love, all four of the loves that Lewis wrote about in The Four Loves. Eros comes in, in the love of Orual for Bardia (but not only in that element of book). That element reminds me of Anna's love for Vronsky in Anna Karenina, but here it's not that the woman is married to someone else but the man is. TWHF is a mature and wise fantasy novel and for some people it will not be very accessible, but it is one of the notable British novels of the 20th century.

 

[olive]

This is unusual, someone asking for a list of books, including sci fi, that help define the true meaning of love, and we have no input from @BAYLOR

He was witing his own legends in Skyrim the last time I saw him around.

 

[Extollager]

I wouldn't call them love stories, but there is a love element in Algis Budrys's "Rogue Moon" novella and Ursula Le Guin's The Lathe of Heaven that's more than decorative or perfunctory.

 

[Extollager]

Rachel Maddux's The Green Kingdom deals with love. This little-known novel is impressive. Someone looking for an all-out fantasy novel will be disappointed. There is one "unreal" element, the entrance to the Green Kingdom and the Kingdome itself, which could be considered "science fiction" rather than fantasy in that it doesn't involve magic. It's presumably some unsuspected feature of nature.

 

[Extollager]

I think Tolkien understood the true meaning of love, though in The Lord of the Rings he is writing a story of quest and war and doesn't develop any of the romantic love stories as much as some might wish he had. But there was enough there for me to venture this remark on a different thread:

Howard or Tolkien, Which of them Had The Greatest Impact On Modern Fantasy ?

Conan = toxic masculinity. Hahaa. I know, right? A sensitive, kind barbarian sharing his inner feelings, childhood issues in positive light, often crying to let it go after killing, asking their permission before saving the damsels in distress, constantly refusing to objectify them oh so...

www.sffchronicles.com

 

[DannMcGrew]

Aren't we forgetting somebody? William Shakespeare: Eros, Philia, Ludus, Storge, Philautia, Pragma, and Agape -- one and all.

 

[Abernovo]

Aren't we forgetting somebody? William Shakespeare: Eros, Philia, Ludus, Storge, Philautia, Pragma, and Agape -- one and all.

I love Shakespeare, and have sat very happily through performances of The Two Gentlemen of Verona, As You Like It, A Midsummer Night's Dream, and others (although they are quite possibly my favourites). But, he was a playwright and a poet. I think his work could be referenced as an influence, but is being excluded as it is not novel-form.

If you want a discussion of plays and poems which explore love, I have many thoughts.

 

[Hugh]

No one has mentioned John Fowles’ “The Magus” or Dorothy Bryant’s “The Kin of Ata are Waiting for You”, so I may as well.

I am of course also waiting for the list from @BAYLOR ....

 

[Extollager]

There's a worthwhile love element in Faber's The Book of Strange New Things.

A key element of C. S. Lewis's That Hideous Strength is the depiction of a modern marriage that is on a trajectory towards breakdown, but which is saved (and blessed by Aphrodite herself at last). That marriage is contrasted with a "they've grown old together" marriage (the Dimbles). I buy both, but some readers wouldn't feel able to.

 

[Extollager]

Please don't let me mess up this thread. The request was for NOVELS. We have been sticking to that pretty well so far.

But I'm going to mention Lem's Solaris in case the book has the love element that Tarkovsky's film does. (I said "film" -- I almost never say "film," just "movie.") I've seen the film multiple times but only just got a copy of the book a few days ago.

Please, could a moderator delete this posting if the book does not have the love element? I would appreciate that.

 

[Extollager]

I haven't read, don't have a copy of, Rex Warner's The Aerodrome, but that sf novel even has the subtitle "A Love Story." Can ayone comment?

 

[hitmouse]

Please don't let me mess up this thread. The request was for NOVELS. We have been sticking to that pretty well so far.

But I'm going to mention Lem's Solaris in case the book has the love element that Tarkovsky's film does. (I said "film" -- I almost never say "film," just "movie.") I've seen the film multiple times but only just got a copy of the book a few days ago.

Please, could a moderator delete this posting if the book does not have the love element? I would appreciate that.

I reckon Solaris the novel is OK here.

 

[dask]

Old Yeller