Many, many thanks for the vote, Victoria Silverwolf. 
Discussion Thread -- JULY 2020 -- 300-Worder Writing Challenge (#38)
- Thread starter Ursa major
- Start date
Thanks much for the stealth vote @Provincial !
I’m one of those who votes according to the impact of the story had on them, and there was something about the your story which crept up on me and then smacked me in the voonerables. I got that chill running up and down my body which tells me I’ve read something exceptional. Or possibly that someone has just...
That having been said, there wasn’t a single story among the entries that I wouldn’t have happily claimed was mine.
Starbeast
Benevolent Galaxy Being
Firstly a mountainous THANK YOU @Calliopenjo for the vote. I enjoyed your story too.
After reading the entries a few times, I found it exceedingly tough to choose out of the multitude of astonishing stories, to select only three. Every tale completely different and thoroughly entertaining, which made it a great task narrowing my votes. You're all fantastic writers.
@CarBear Nice to meet you. I noticed you said, "I wasn't sure if I hit the genre hard enough in this one though".
The best part of the 300 Challenge is that you choose your own genre. What ever you imagine is your story. The photo gives you inspiration. I think you did great.
Now to figure out who to choose..........................
After reading the entries a few times, I found it exceedingly tough to choose out of the multitude of astonishing stories, to select only three. Every tale completely different and thoroughly entertaining, which made it a great task narrowing my votes. You're all fantastic writers.
@CarBear Nice to meet you. I noticed you said, "I wasn't sure if I hit the genre hard enough in this one though".
The best part of the 300 Challenge is that you choose your own genre. What ever you imagine is your story. The photo gives you inspiration. I think you did great.
Now to figure out who to choose..........................
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johnnyjet
Western PA High Tech Country Boy
After a long deliberation, my Long List, Short List, and *** Favorites ***:
The Last Day - BT Jones
Expiration Date - Cat's Cradle
Like Diamonds in the Sky – MikeAnderson
*** LIGHTS OUT – Ashleyne ***
Emergence - Victoria Silverwolf
The Release of Wonderful Things – Phyrebrat
Above the Madding Crowd – chrispenycate
Second Chances – CarBear
BARREN - Jo Zebedee
*** Incident 0013429 - Joshua Jones ***
*** Delusions of Control – Parson ***
The Trees - Perpetual Man
I Always Wanted to Say That - M. Robert Gibson
The Right Answer Seeks the Right Question - The Judge
Literally - Mad Alice
Dark Trade - Land Under Wave
The Last Day - BT Jones
Expiration Date - Cat's Cradle
Like Diamonds in the Sky – MikeAnderson
*** LIGHTS OUT – Ashleyne ***
Emergence - Victoria Silverwolf
The Release of Wonderful Things – Phyrebrat
Above the Madding Crowd – chrispenycate
Second Chances – CarBear
BARREN - Jo Zebedee
*** Incident 0013429 - Joshua Jones ***
*** Delusions of Control – Parson ***
The Trees - Perpetual Man
I Always Wanted to Say That - M. Robert Gibson
The Right Answer Seeks the Right Question - The Judge
Literally - Mad Alice
Dark Trade - Land Under Wave
Joshua Jones
When all is said and done, all's quiet and boring.
Thanks for the vote!
Thank you! Much appreciated.
White as Snow; Red Like Blood — @Rafellin : Such a sad story of missed opportunities of love, regret at having not prioritized life/living over work, and I suspect at least testing ending it all due to that. Very nice lead in to get us from a new world to one of a lost love. Well done!
The Madcap Returns — @Trollheart : I may have misunderstood this--though it remained on my short list till the end--but it felt to me so much like birth. Clues such as the heartbeat matching the steady bass note and so on...hehe, I'm still not sure i get it but i loved the story. Well written, there is so much I could infer from direct to complex and it all comes out good. I really liked this one. Great job.
The Last Day — @BT Jones : I liked this one from the beginning. All the races and motivations, and the reason for their end as they decide to celebrate the inescapable instead of mourning it. Though a sad subject, I found it upbeat instead. I enjoyed it!
"Tragedy: Uncut" — @Guttersnipe : Well written and a clever use of the theme. A sad story where the protagonist dwells on his sorrow and IMO, wishes for others to not just experience 'such sorrow,' but as a way for him to express his to others. Nicely done and to the point.
Expiration Date — @Cat's Cradle : Though I assume the messages and how the protagonist sees them are simply a psychological condition, I could also read into it (expanding the story in my own mind) how a implanted cybernetics used as an active messaging system could have gone haywire. A sad ending to stop the noise, though I'm still debating if it's a matter of choice or another message tormenting the individual. Very creative and nicely written. Well done.
Next — @Provincial : A simple concept (which has value) though I'm not sure of what is threatening the pair. I'm left with two impressions of the ending. The first, as Matteo warned, he passed a point where he walked past a point, taking him to another place/dimension(?). The second where whatever they were trying to escape caught up with Lucius and was what caused him to tire (so, was inevitable). In either case, it's very clear as to what the end result was, easy to follow and enjoyable to read.
Like Diamonds in the Sky — @MikeAnderson : A very clever and romantic marriage proposal. I enjoyed the exposition of a new world and going to such great lengths to give her the finest engagement ring made. Very nice, I enjoyed it very much.
LIGHTS OUT — @Ashleyne : That's quite the gruesome vision...Well done! It's a little difficult for me to follow and will take quite a few more readings since it is so complex. There seems to be a back and forth between all of the beings and perhaps even, each feeding or served by the other? The story is fine as written--but, my limited skills (education) makes the story a little more than I can take in with just a couple read throughs. That is NOT a bad thing, it's just something that 'I' can't read in a glance and comprehend. A lot of thought went into it and I'll be reading it again to sort it out. Nice job!
Emergence — @Victoria Silverwolf : A wonderful story with a lot of content, clearly and concisely written leading us on a wonderful Twilight-Zone-ish quest. Loved this one from the beginning of my read throughs and the ending is fantastic. An excellent story with no question left unanswered. Loved it!
Whispers on Boot Hill — @-K2- : What can I say...some people need to stick to making wallets and clay ashtrays in the asylum's group room and leave the creative writing to others.
Fated — @Elckerlyc : I absolutely loved this one. The oracle who hates his situation but sees so well he knows he cant escape it. The last line is fantastic, the whole piece reads wonderfully. This was among those on my final short list that forced me into 'just pick three and get it over with mode.' Naturally, if you have any of the oracle in you, you already saw it coming A wonderful story!
The Exam — @Luiglin : A great tale with a funny ending. I'm left wondering if it was just the sun, or perhaps poor Yonnic needs glasses. Very well put together taking me right into the scene, situation and events. Very nicely done, I really liked it.
The Release of Wonderful Things — @Phyrebrat : As I mentioned in this post: Discussion Thread -- JULY 2020 -- 300-Worder Writing Challenge (#38) ; this was one of those WAY over my head. The writing is beautiful and flows well...very eloquent. There is so much for me to try to understand (although, I might be trying too hard to place a descriptive meaning on words I'm unfamiliar with), I have trouble generating a visual to connect the dots. I get the ancient Egyptian theme, but this work contained so much it's tough for my little brain to put it together. I enjoy every read through immensely and I'm going to keep at it till I fully understand this beautiful poetic work. Impressive!
COMING HOME — @Calliopenjo : An excellent story of a young man returning home from war finding his village destroyed. I was surprised he wasn't more stunned, then again, perhaps at this point he's numb to it all. Regardless, we still found a happy ending. Well done, a greta story of homecoming.
Above the madding crowd — @chrispenycate : This was another of those way above the bathroom wall graffiti I usually read, but it's beautifully written and i thoroughly enjoyed each read-through. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe what I'm reading is a snowboarder who has separated themselves from their friends, just off the lift, and now must get to the mountain's bottom before it's too late (evening). In any case, it's beautiful prose making a simple situation so much more.
Aboard The Flying Brick — @Starbeast : A parody of Star Trek is absolute sacrilege...Well done! A clever and funny read which makes you wonder how it's not just the red-shirts that keep perishing. Very creative. Hopefully your next episode of this saga doesn't initiate intergalactic war. Nice job
NATURALLY GREEN FOLK — @Iwroteathing : A wonderful fantasy offering where Chalyn got exactly what he wanted...although, I was wondering if he'd be bludgeoned by the cucumber. I really liked the reflex and lack of remorse by the goblin, it fit well with the story leading to a perfect ending. Very well done, I truly enjoyed it and was on my short list.
Not all Robots are Grey — @Ian Fortytwo : An interesting chain of events has me wondering is the protagonist having a dream, was he a biologic turned machine, or was he always a machine...dreaming himself as human? The grey to black to many colors also has me questioning how it relates--though I tend to lean toward a robot dreaming. A good story that has me thinking as I try to solve the riddle. Well done.
The Ultimate Calling — @Astro Pen : A sad tale of the forthcoming apocalypse finds the fading generation bypassing the current for the upcoming to set the mantle of responsibility upon. I found it well written and nicely direct working through why the last generation needed to give up their dreams of a future for the reality of inevitability. Call it the sun, or call it our environment--it's a story for 'our time,' one that hopefully grandparents can help avoid rather than lay such a burden upon their kin. Very nicely done and an appropriate warning about the times we might live in.
Being Clifford Simak — @johnnyjet : A twisted tale that as you might suspect took me back to the film and its opposites. Well played throughout from the beginning till its end, you let us see why trading our own problems or mundane life for another might be the poorest choice of action. A nice creative take on the theme.
Predator and Prey — @Tywin : I got the impression the elf set the trap by enveloping the area or perhaps Decker's mind in a haze. Each both predator and prey, this time Decker prevailed, but provided a hint he might not the next since he does this for bounty. A nice read with some well thought out imagery and confusion for the protagonist. A fine story for the competition, great job.
Second Chances — @CarBear : Poor bumbling Marr at least found a happy ending. A nicely put together tale to build a larger story upon. Your action and imagery put me in the scene, and I could envision all of it well. Nice job at entering a concise story with well developed characters. Well done!
Surplus To Requirements — @mosaix : Those dang body snatchers are a menace! A fine story that gave us a little before to set us up for the crux of it, and then left us with foreboding possibilities as to after. It also left me with the impression that these few would soon find the many joining them. Nicely paced and led us through well from beginning to 'this scenes' end...Though I suspect there is more to come. Nice work!
A Midsummer Night's Drone — @Daysman : A nice run from a simple race and lost drone into an encounter with the fantastic/fantasy. As I suspect you planned, I was feeling a bit lost as to where the discussion was taking us until the closer review of the film. It was a nice surprise ending that makes you speculate on how much is never seen, only because we discount then discard the evidence we have. Nicely done and a clever take on moving us from our known world to glimpse into another.
BARREN — @Jo Zebedee : For reasons I'll not address, this touched me personally, throughout and especially the end. Perhaps the saddest of all the stories presented since it's a crushing feeling. I can only hope that Miriam actually embraces her lot, her choice, and finds fulfillment in her new life instead of just adding some new veneer to hide what she cannot change and how it makes her feel. Very nicely written, leaving me both hopeful and sad.
To Know Eternity — @AMB : LOL...I've been there! Gasping for air, only able to take ten steps to then spend five minutes to recover just to do it again...And when you reach the summit, the elation overwhelms you. But, as your eyes slip over the rise you realize it was just a false summit. One is disheartening enough. Two are crushing. And as you start praying that when you collapse you'll fall over the edge to ensure a quick demise, the third makes you scream and insist--even if it kills you--you'll not stop. My worst was six false summits. A fine story of despair where you ultimately when you believe you'll die from this, surrender to your fate, and press on. Well done!
Incident 0013429 — @Joshua Jones : I felt this was an excellent scene with some nice--but not over the top--other world military elements and the dedication of medics of all peoples. Though there is only room for a short scene in this competition, I feel this could really be built around to write a longer story or novella. A lot of creative but as said not outrageous tidbits that I'd love to see more of. Nicely done!
The Land Beneath the Clouds — @sule : A very nice set-up to a--final I suspect--encounter with the beings that now inhabit the land by Sao. I say final since i suspect Sao will also meet Li's fate. Great imagery and story to get us to that final response. I liked this story very much and can see where it could be expanded into a lot more. Very well put together and concise, great job on this.
Delusions of Control — @Parson : Well, I thought it was a fantastic story that like many others remained on my list until the end...Although, I must admit I groaned and laughed at the last I found the story very creative and more so, using familiar things it took us to a world/land/era we'll never actually know. Beautifully written where the delicate twists were perfect. An awesome story, well done.
Roll dem — @Danny McG : Like i said in a previous post, it took me a bit to get past chuckling when I read, "I scampered gleefully into the forest," with only Danny's image beside it to work off of. I actually found quite a bit in this story that made it much more than just a fun romp, like how people felt compelled to get dogs. The whole bone/skeleton thing was wonderful. I feared when I saw 'virus' it might be zombies, but it held true throughout and I loved this story. An awesome short that epitomizes these 300 word comps. It was a complete story with background that finished with an absolute end. I'm impressed and as always, amused, a great tale...I didn't know you wrote, a man of many talents!
The Trees — @Perpetual Man : A wonderful story most folks have likely experienced from both sides of the coin. If they ever came out with a children's 'scary story book,' it would be a fantastic addition to it...No doubt with children everywhere relating to how their fears are often disregarded. What a wonderful chance to say, "I told you so..." Very nice, well done.
Greater Than the Sum — @Peter V : Another of the many that hung on in my selections. A beautifully written story of a too early lost love and a man's struggle to get back to her. I found the visuals easy to imagine, and though I'm still confused as to whether I got it all--as in he did die or was still hoping to--it didn't matter, the outcome was the same. A beautiful tale of eternal love that I enjoyed immensely.
I Always Wanted to Say That — @M. Robert Gibson : Outer Limits, Twilight Zone, or Creepy...A script any one of those shows would have jumped at for one of their sillier segments. Well done all around, very funny, and one that held out till my very last round of cuts only pushed out because I was forced to pick three--though none better than any other--this was definitely a favorite, and every vote it received, well earned.
Chasse-neige: A Study in the Transcendental — @Ursa major : Wonderful to read, constantly propelling forward and eloquent to beat all...plus no puns! Really, it was a wonderful story that contained so much and urges me to want to know more...though at this stage in the story it doesn't matter. It's his end, and as perhaps a final torment before he reaches his ultimate fate, his tune rolls on. An absolutely wonderful story. Though in that realm of higher tone works I ultimately discounted, this story held out till the last. Excellent work!
The Right Answer Seeks the Right Question — @The Judge : How do you cram an entire colonization of a world into a few hundred words...this is how. A beautiful read as always, all the past made sense with the final two lines...but that final line was perfect. If a reader couldn't find the answer by the time they got to that line, then i suppose they were like every other save the protagonist. A great, full story with a moral we perhaps need to learn a little better. To not shape the world as we want it, but to get along in it as it dictates. Outstanding story, thanks for the read!
Literally — @Mad Alice : To me it read like a tale of a bookstore or library coming to life, the works of art and literature each playing their parts while opening the many worlds. A nice read of 'what if,' but instead also 'what is' if you open up your mind and imagination and let it come alive. Very nice, a fine story to add to that collection.
"Dark Trade" — @Land Under Wave : A very well written tale of personal sacrifice--or perhaps--destiny. The way this fine tale read to me the Light Folk in contrast to others will do her no harm, and if so, she'll have the wherewithal to persevere and return. A good story that pulled me along without a hitch. Well written and well done.
K2
The Madcap Returns — @Trollheart : I may have misunderstood this--though it remained on my short list till the end--but it felt to me so much like birth. Clues such as the heartbeat matching the steady bass note and so on...hehe, I'm still not sure i get it but i loved the story. Well written, there is so much I could infer from direct to complex and it all comes out good. I really liked this one. Great job.
The Last Day — @BT Jones : I liked this one from the beginning. All the races and motivations, and the reason for their end as they decide to celebrate the inescapable instead of mourning it. Though a sad subject, I found it upbeat instead. I enjoyed it!
"Tragedy: Uncut" — @Guttersnipe : Well written and a clever use of the theme. A sad story where the protagonist dwells on his sorrow and IMO, wishes for others to not just experience 'such sorrow,' but as a way for him to express his to others. Nicely done and to the point.
Expiration Date — @Cat's Cradle : Though I assume the messages and how the protagonist sees them are simply a psychological condition, I could also read into it (expanding the story in my own mind) how a implanted cybernetics used as an active messaging system could have gone haywire. A sad ending to stop the noise, though I'm still debating if it's a matter of choice or another message tormenting the individual. Very creative and nicely written. Well done.
Next — @Provincial : A simple concept (which has value) though I'm not sure of what is threatening the pair. I'm left with two impressions of the ending. The first, as Matteo warned, he passed a point where he walked past a point, taking him to another place/dimension(?). The second where whatever they were trying to escape caught up with Lucius and was what caused him to tire (so, was inevitable). In either case, it's very clear as to what the end result was, easy to follow and enjoyable to read.
Like Diamonds in the Sky — @MikeAnderson : A very clever and romantic marriage proposal. I enjoyed the exposition of a new world and going to such great lengths to give her the finest engagement ring made. Very nice, I enjoyed it very much.
LIGHTS OUT — @Ashleyne : That's quite the gruesome vision...Well done! It's a little difficult for me to follow and will take quite a few more readings since it is so complex. There seems to be a back and forth between all of the beings and perhaps even, each feeding or served by the other? The story is fine as written--but, my limited skills (education) makes the story a little more than I can take in with just a couple read throughs. That is NOT a bad thing, it's just something that 'I' can't read in a glance and comprehend. A lot of thought went into it and I'll be reading it again to sort it out. Nice job!
Emergence — @Victoria Silverwolf : A wonderful story with a lot of content, clearly and concisely written leading us on a wonderful Twilight-Zone-ish quest. Loved this one from the beginning of my read throughs and the ending is fantastic. An excellent story with no question left unanswered. Loved it!
Whispers on Boot Hill — @-K2- : What can I say...some people need to stick to making wallets and clay ashtrays in the asylum's group room and leave the creative writing to others.
Fated — @Elckerlyc : I absolutely loved this one. The oracle who hates his situation but sees so well he knows he cant escape it. The last line is fantastic, the whole piece reads wonderfully. This was among those on my final short list that forced me into 'just pick three and get it over with mode.' Naturally, if you have any of the oracle in you, you already saw it coming
A wonderful story!The Exam — @Luiglin : A great tale with a funny ending. I'm left wondering if it was just the sun, or perhaps poor Yonnic needs glasses. Very well put together taking me right into the scene, situation and events. Very nicely done, I really liked it.
The Release of Wonderful Things — @Phyrebrat : As I mentioned in this post: Discussion Thread -- JULY 2020 -- 300-Worder Writing Challenge (#38) ; this was one of those WAY over my head. The writing is beautiful and flows well...very eloquent. There is so much for me to try to understand (although, I might be trying too hard to place a descriptive meaning on words I'm unfamiliar with), I have trouble generating a visual to connect the dots. I get the ancient Egyptian theme, but this work contained so much it's tough for my little brain to put it together. I enjoy every read through immensely and I'm going to keep at it till I fully understand this beautiful poetic work. Impressive!
COMING HOME — @Calliopenjo : An excellent story of a young man returning home from war finding his village destroyed. I was surprised he wasn't more stunned, then again, perhaps at this point he's numb to it all. Regardless, we still found a happy ending. Well done, a greta story of homecoming.
Above the madding crowd — @chrispenycate : This was another of those way above the bathroom wall graffiti I usually read, but it's beautifully written and i thoroughly enjoyed each read-through. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe what I'm reading is a snowboarder who has separated themselves from their friends, just off the lift, and now must get to the mountain's bottom before it's too late (evening). In any case, it's beautiful prose making a simple situation so much more.
Aboard The Flying Brick — @Starbeast : A parody of Star Trek is absolute sacrilege...Well done! A clever and funny read which makes you wonder how it's not just the red-shirts that keep perishing. Very creative. Hopefully your next episode of this saga doesn't initiate intergalactic war. Nice job
NATURALLY GREEN FOLK — @Iwroteathing : A wonderful fantasy offering where Chalyn got exactly what he wanted...although, I was wondering if he'd be bludgeoned by the cucumber. I really liked the reflex and lack of remorse by the goblin, it fit well with the story leading to a perfect ending. Very well done, I truly enjoyed it and was on my short list.
Not all Robots are Grey — @Ian Fortytwo : An interesting chain of events has me wondering is the protagonist having a dream, was he a biologic turned machine, or was he always a machine...dreaming himself as human? The grey to black to many colors also has me questioning how it relates--though I tend to lean toward a robot dreaming. A good story that has me thinking as I try to solve the riddle. Well done.
The Ultimate Calling — @Astro Pen : A sad tale of the forthcoming apocalypse finds the fading generation bypassing the current for the upcoming to set the mantle of responsibility upon. I found it well written and nicely direct working through why the last generation needed to give up their dreams of a future for the reality of inevitability. Call it the sun, or call it our environment--it's a story for 'our time,' one that hopefully grandparents can help avoid rather than lay such a burden upon their kin. Very nicely done and an appropriate warning about the times we might live in.
Being Clifford Simak — @johnnyjet : A twisted tale that as you might suspect took me back to the film and its opposites. Well played throughout from the beginning till its end, you let us see why trading our own problems or mundane life for another might be the poorest choice of action. A nice creative take on the theme.
Predator and Prey — @Tywin : I got the impression the elf set the trap by enveloping the area or perhaps Decker's mind in a haze. Each both predator and prey, this time Decker prevailed, but provided a hint he might not the next since he does this for bounty. A nice read with some well thought out imagery and confusion for the protagonist. A fine story for the competition, great job.
Second Chances — @CarBear : Poor bumbling Marr at least found a happy ending. A nicely put together tale to build a larger story upon. Your action and imagery put me in the scene, and I could envision all of it well. Nice job at entering a concise story with well developed characters. Well done!
Surplus To Requirements — @mosaix : Those dang body snatchers are a menace! A fine story that gave us a little before to set us up for the crux of it, and then left us with foreboding possibilities as to after. It also left me with the impression that these few would soon find the many joining them. Nicely paced and led us through well from beginning to 'this scenes' end...Though I suspect there is more to come. Nice work!
A Midsummer Night's Drone — @Daysman : A nice run from a simple race and lost drone into an encounter with the fantastic/fantasy. As I suspect you planned, I was feeling a bit lost as to where the discussion was taking us until the closer review of the film. It was a nice surprise ending that makes you speculate on how much is never seen, only because we discount then discard the evidence we have. Nicely done and a clever take on moving us from our known world to glimpse into another.
BARREN — @Jo Zebedee : For reasons I'll not address, this touched me personally, throughout and especially the end. Perhaps the saddest of all the stories presented since it's a crushing feeling. I can only hope that Miriam actually embraces her lot, her choice, and finds fulfillment in her new life instead of just adding some new veneer to hide what she cannot change and how it makes her feel. Very nicely written, leaving me both hopeful and sad.
To Know Eternity — @AMB : LOL...I've been there! Gasping for air, only able to take ten steps to then spend five minutes to recover just to do it again...And when you reach the summit, the elation overwhelms you. But, as your eyes slip over the rise you realize it was just a false summit. One is disheartening enough. Two are crushing. And as you start praying that when you collapse you'll fall over the edge to ensure a quick demise, the third makes you scream and insist--even if it kills you--you'll not stop. My worst was six false summits. A fine story of despair where you ultimately when you believe you'll die from this, surrender to your fate, and press on. Well done!
Incident 0013429 — @Joshua Jones : I felt this was an excellent scene with some nice--but not over the top--other world military elements and the dedication of medics of all peoples. Though there is only room for a short scene in this competition, I feel this could really be built around to write a longer story or novella. A lot of creative but as said not outrageous tidbits that I'd love to see more of. Nicely done!
The Land Beneath the Clouds — @sule : A very nice set-up to a--final I suspect--encounter with the beings that now inhabit the land by Sao. I say final since i suspect Sao will also meet Li's fate. Great imagery and story to get us to that final response. I liked this story very much and can see where it could be expanded into a lot more. Very well put together and concise, great job on this.
Delusions of Control — @Parson : Well, I thought it was a fantastic story that like many others remained on my list until the end...Although, I must admit I groaned and laughed at the last
I found the story very creative and more so, using familiar things it took us to a world/land/era we'll never actually know. Beautifully written where the delicate twists were perfect. An awesome story, well done.Roll dem — @Danny McG : Like i said in a previous post, it took me a bit to get past chuckling when I read, "I scampered gleefully into the forest," with only Danny's image beside it to work off of. I actually found quite a bit in this story that made it much more than just a fun romp, like how people felt compelled to get dogs. The whole bone/skeleton thing was wonderful. I feared when I saw 'virus' it might be zombies, but it held true throughout and I loved this story. An awesome short that epitomizes these 300 word comps. It was a complete story with background that finished with an absolute end. I'm impressed and as always, amused, a great tale...I didn't know you wrote, a man of many talents!
The Trees — @Perpetual Man : A wonderful story most folks have likely experienced from both sides of the coin. If they ever came out with a children's 'scary story book,' it would be a fantastic addition to it...No doubt with children everywhere relating to how their fears are often disregarded. What a wonderful chance to say, "I told you so..." Very nice, well done.
Greater Than the Sum — @Peter V : Another of the many that hung on in my selections. A beautifully written story of a too early lost love and a man's struggle to get back to her. I found the visuals easy to imagine, and though I'm still confused as to whether I got it all--as in he did die or was still hoping to--it didn't matter, the outcome was the same. A beautiful tale of eternal love that I enjoyed immensely.
I Always Wanted to Say That — @M. Robert Gibson : Outer Limits, Twilight Zone, or Creepy...A script any one of those shows would have jumped at for one of their sillier segments. Well done all around, very funny, and one that held out till my very last round of cuts only pushed out because I was forced to pick three--though none better than any other--this was definitely a favorite, and every vote it received, well earned.
Chasse-neige: A Study in the Transcendental — @Ursa major : Wonderful to read, constantly propelling forward and eloquent to beat all...plus no puns! Really, it was a wonderful story that contained so much and urges me to want to know more...though at this stage in the story it doesn't matter. It's his end, and as perhaps a final torment before he reaches his ultimate fate, his tune rolls on. An absolutely wonderful story. Though in that realm of higher tone works I ultimately discounted, this story held out till the last. Excellent work!
The Right Answer Seeks the Right Question — @The Judge : How do you cram an entire colonization of a world into a few hundred words...this is how. A beautiful read as always, all the past made sense with the final two lines...but that final line was perfect. If a reader couldn't find the answer by the time they got to that line, then i suppose they were like every other save the protagonist. A great, full story with a moral we perhaps need to learn a little better. To not shape the world as we want it, but to get along in it as it dictates. Outstanding story, thanks for the read!
Literally — @Mad Alice : To me it read like a tale of a bookstore or library coming to life, the works of art and literature each playing their parts while opening the many worlds. A nice read of 'what if,' but instead also 'what is' if you open up your mind and imagination and let it come alive. Very nice, a fine story to add to that collection.
"Dark Trade" — @Land Under Wave : A very well written tale of personal sacrifice--or perhaps--destiny. The way this fine tale read to me the Light Folk in contrast to others will do her no harm, and if so, she'll have the wherewithal to persevere and return. A good story that pulled me along without a hitch. Well written and well done.
K2
Thanks, @-K2- - and much respect for the commitment, reviewing every single story in one go! That must have been a marathon session!White as Snow; Red Like Blood — @Rafellin : Such a sad story of missed opportunities of love, regret at having not prioritized life/living over work, and I suspect at least testing ending it all due to that. Very nice lead in to get us from a new world to one of a lost love. Well done!
The Madcap Returns — @Trollheart : I may have misunderstood this--though it remained on my short list till the end--but it felt to me so much like birth. Clues such as the heartbeat matching the steady bass note and so on...hehe, I'm still not sure i get it but i loved the story. Well written, there is so much I could infer from direct to complex and it all comes out good. I really liked this one. Great job.
The Last Day — @BT Jones : I liked this one from the beginning. All the races and motivations, and the reason for their end as they decide to celebrate the inescapable instead of mourning it. Though a sad subject, I found it upbeat instead. I enjoyed it!
"Tragedy: Uncut" — @Guttersnipe : Well written and a clever use of the theme. A sad story where the protagonist dwells on his sorrow and IMO, wishes for others to not just experience 'such sorrow,' but as a way for him to express his to others. Nicely done and to the point.
Expiration Date — @Cat's Cradle : Though I assume the messages and how the protagonist sees them are simply a psychological condition, I could also read into it (expanding the story in my own mind) how a implanted cybernetics used as an active messaging system could have gone haywire. A sad ending to stop the noise, though I'm still debating if it's a matter of choice or another message tormenting the individual. Very creative and nicely written. Well done.
Next — @Provincial : A simple concept (which has value) though I'm not sure of what is threatening the pair. I'm left with two impressions of the ending. The first, as Matteo warned, he passed a point where he walked past a point, taking him to another place/dimension(?). The second where whatever they were trying to escape caught up with Lucius and was what caused him to tire (so, was inevitable). In either case, it's very clear as to what the end result was, easy to follow and enjoyable to read.
Like Diamonds in the Sky — @MikeAnderson : A very clever and romantic marriage proposal. I enjoyed the exposition of a new world and going to such great lengths to give her the finest engagement ring made. Very nice, I enjoyed it very much.
LIGHTS OUT — @Ashleyne : That's quite the gruesome vision...Well done! It's a little difficult for me to follow and will take quite a few more readings since it is so complex. There seems to be a back and forth between all of the beings and perhaps even, each feeding or served by the other? The story is fine as written--but, my limited skills (education) makes the story a little more than I can take in with just a couple read throughs. That is NOT a bad thing, it's just something that 'I' can't read in a glance and comprehend. A lot of thought went into it and I'll be reading it again to sort it out. Nice job!
Emergence — @Victoria Silverwolf : A wonderful story with a lot of content, clearly and concisely written leading us on a wonderful Twilight-Zone-ish quest. Loved this one from the beginning of my read throughs and the ending is fantastic. An excellent story with no question left unanswered. Loved it!
Whispers on Boot Hill — @-K2- : What can I say...some people need to stick to making wallets and clay ashtrays in the asylum's group room and leave the creative writing to others.
Fated — @Elckerlyc : I absolutely loved this one. The oracle who hates his situation but sees so well he knows he cant escape it. The last line is fantastic, the whole piece reads wonderfully. This was among those on my final short list that forced me into 'just pick three and get it over with mode.' Naturally, if you have any of the oracle in you, you already saw it coming
The Exam — @Luiglin : A great tale with a funny ending. I'm left wondering if it was just the sun, or perhaps poor Yonnic needs glasses. Very well put together taking me right into the scene, situation and events. Very nicely done, I really liked it.
The Release of Wonderful Things — @Phyrebrat : As I mentioned in this post: Discussion Thread -- JULY 2020 -- 300-Worder Writing Challenge (#38) ; this was one of those WAY over my head. The writing is beautiful and flows well...very eloquent. There is so much for me to try to understand (although, I might be trying too hard to place a descriptive meaning on words I'm unfamiliar with), I have trouble generating a visual to connect the dots. I get the ancient Egyptian theme, but this work contained so much it's tough for my little brain to put it together. I enjoy every read through immensely and I'm going to keep at it till I fully understand this beautiful poetic work. Impressive!
COMING HOME — @Calliopenjo : An excellent story of a young man returning home from war finding his village destroyed. I was surprised he wasn't more stunned, then again, perhaps at this point he's numb to it all. Regardless, we still found a happy ending. Well done, a greta story of homecoming.
Above the madding crowd — @chrispenycate : This was another of those way above the bathroom wall graffiti I usually read, but it's beautifully written and i thoroughly enjoyed each read-through. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe what I'm reading is a snowboarder who has separated themselves from their friends, just off the lift, and now must get to the mountain's bottom before it's too late (evening). In any case, it's beautiful prose making a simple situation so much more.
Aboard The Flying Brick — @Starbeast : A parody of Star Trek is absolute sacrilege...Well done! A clever and funny read which makes you wonder how it's not just the red-shirts that keep perishing. Very creative. Hopefully your next episode of this saga doesn't initiate intergalactic war. Nice job
NATURALLY GREEN FOLK — @Iwroteathing : A wonderful fantasy offering where Chalyn got exactly what he wanted...although, I was wondering if he'd be bludgeoned by the cucumber. I really liked the reflex and lack of remorse by the goblin, it fit well with the story leading to a perfect ending. Very well done, I truly enjoyed it and was on my short list.
Not all Robots are Grey — @Ian Fortytwo : An interesting chain of events has me wondering is the protagonist having a dream, was he a biologic turned machine, or was he always a machine...dreaming himself as human? The grey to black to many colors also has me questioning how it relates--though I tend to lean toward a robot dreaming. A good story that has me thinking as I try to solve the riddle. Well done.
The Ultimate Calling — @Astro Pen : A sad tale of the forthcoming apocalypse finds the fading generation bypassing the current for the upcoming to set the mantle of responsibility upon. I found it well written and nicely direct working through why the last generation needed to give up their dreams of a future for the reality of inevitability. Call it the sun, or call it our environment--it's a story for 'our time,' one that hopefully grandparents can help avoid rather than lay such a burden upon their kin. Very nicely done and an appropriate warning about the times we might live in.
Being Clifford Simak — @johnnyjet : A twisted tale that as you might suspect took me back to the film and its opposites. Well played throughout from the beginning till its end, you let us see why trading our own problems or mundane life for another might be the poorest choice of action. A nice creative take on the theme.
Predator and Prey — @Tywin : I got the impression the elf set the trap by enveloping the area or perhaps Decker's mind in a haze. Each both predator and prey, this time Decker prevailed, but provided a hint he might not the next since he does this for bounty. A nice read with some well thought out imagery and confusion for the protagonist. A fine story for the competition, great job.
Second Chances — @CarBear : Poor bumbling Marr at least found a happy ending. A nicely put together tale to build a larger story upon. Your action and imagery put me in the scene, and I could envision all of it well. Nice job at entering a concise story with well developed characters. Well done!
Surplus To Requirements — @mosaix : Those dang body snatchers are a menace! A fine story that gave us a little before to set us up for the crux of it, and then left us with foreboding possibilities as to after. It also left me with the impression that these few would soon find the many joining them. Nicely paced and led us through well from beginning to 'this scenes' end...Though I suspect there is more to come. Nice work!
A Midsummer Night's Drone — @Daysman : A nice run from a simple race and lost drone into an encounter with the fantastic/fantasy. As I suspect you planned, I was feeling a bit lost as to where the discussion was taking us until the closer review of the film. It was a nice surprise ending that makes you speculate on how much is never seen, only because we discount then discard the evidence we have. Nicely done and a clever take on moving us from our known world to glimpse into another.
BARREN — @Jo Zebedee : For reasons I'll not address, this touched me personally, throughout and especially the end. Perhaps the saddest of all the stories presented since it's a crushing feeling. I can only hope that Miriam actually embraces her lot, her choice, and finds fulfillment in her new life instead of just adding some new veneer to hide what she cannot change and how it makes her feel. Very nicely written, leaving me both hopeful and sad.
To Know Eternity — @AMB : LOL...I've been there! Gasping for air, only able to take ten steps to then spend five minutes to recover just to do it again...And when you reach the summit, the elation overwhelms you. But, as your eyes slip over the rise you realize it was just a false summit. One is disheartening enough. Two are crushing. And as you start praying that when you collapse you'll fall over the edge to ensure a quick demise, the third makes you scream and insist--even if it kills you--you'll not stop. My worst was six false summits. A fine story of despair where you ultimately when you believe you'll die from this, surrender to your fate, and press on. Well done!
Incident 0013429 — @Joshua Jones : I felt this was an excellent scene with some nice--but not over the top--other world military elements and the dedication of medics of all peoples. Though there is only room for a short scene in this competition, I feel this could really be built around to write a longer story or novella. A lot of creative but as said not outrageous tidbits that I'd love to see more of. Nicely done!
The Land Beneath the Clouds — @sule : A very nice set-up to a--final I suspect--encounter with the beings that now inhabit the land by Sao. I say final since i suspect Sao will also meet Li's fate. Great imagery and story to get us to that final response. I liked this story very much and can see where it could be expanded into a lot more. Very well put together and concise, great job on this.
Delusions of Control — @Parson : Well, I thought it was a fantastic story that like many others remained on my list until the end...Although, I must admit I groaned and laughed at the last
Roll dem — @Danny McG : Like i said in a previous post, it took me a bit to get past chuckling when I read, "I scampered gleefully into the forest," with only Danny's image beside it to work off of. I actually found quite a bit in this story that made it much more than just a fun romp, like how people felt compelled to get dogs. The whole bone/skeleton thing was wonderful. I feared when I saw 'virus' it might be zombies, but it held true throughout and I loved this story. An awesome short that epitomizes these 300 word comps. It was a complete story with background that finished with an absolute end. I'm impressed and as always, amused, a great tale...I didn't know you wrote, a man of many talents!
The Trees — @Perpetual Man : A wonderful story most folks have likely experienced from both sides of the coin. If they ever came out with a children's 'scary story book,' it would be a fantastic addition to it...No doubt with children everywhere relating to how their fears are often disregarded. What a wonderful chance to say, "I told you so..." Very nice, well done.
Greater Than the Sum — @Peter V : Another of the many that hung on in my selections. A beautifully written story of a too early lost love and a man's struggle to get back to her. I found the visuals easy to imagine, and though I'm still confused as to whether I got it all--as in he did die or was still hoping to--it didn't matter, the outcome was the same. A beautiful tale of eternal love that I enjoyed immensely.
I Always Wanted to Say That — @M. Robert Gibson : Outer Limits, Twilight Zone, or Creepy...A script any one of those shows would have jumped at for one of their sillier segments. Well done all around, very funny, and one that held out till my very last round of cuts only pushed out because I was forced to pick three--though none better than any other--this was definitely a favorite, and every vote it received, well earned.
Chasse-neige: A Study in the Transcendental — @Ursa major : Wonderful to read, constantly propelling forward and eloquent to beat all...plus no puns! Really, it was a wonderful story that contained so much and urges me to want to know more...though at this stage in the story it doesn't matter. It's his end, and as perhaps a final torment before he reaches his ultimate fate, his tune rolls on. An absolutely wonderful story. Though in that realm of higher tone works I ultimately discounted, this story held out till the last. Excellent work!
The Right Answer Seeks the Right Question — @The Judge : How do you cram an entire colonization of a world into a few hundred words...this is how. A beautiful read as always, all the past made sense with the final two lines...but that final line was perfect. If a reader couldn't find the answer by the time they got to that line, then i suppose they were like every other save the protagonist. A great, full story with a moral we perhaps need to learn a little better. To not shape the world as we want it, but to get along in it as it dictates. Outstanding story, thanks for the read!
Literally — @Mad Alice : To me it read like a tale of a bookstore or library coming to life, the works of art and literature each playing their parts while opening the many worlds. A nice read of 'what if,' but instead also 'what is' if you open up your mind and imagination and let it come alive. Very nice, a fine story to add to that collection.
"Dark Trade" — @Land Under Wave : A very well written tale of personal sacrifice--or perhaps--destiny. The way this fine tale read to me the Light Folk in contrast to others will do her no harm, and if so, she'll have the wherewithal to persevere and return. A good story that pulled me along without a hitch. Well written and well done.
K2
MikeAnderson
A.K.A. TRICKY DICK NIXON!
Loving the feedback I've gotten this month. See, folks, I can write stuff that doesn't have flesh eating rednecks or murder midgets in it.
Joshua Jones
When all is said and done, all's quiet and boring.
Hey now! Trying to slip self depreciation under @nixie's nose is my MO, especially being this is one of the few times where your assessment is quite incorrect...
Thank you for your review and kind words! What you describe regarding the subtle world building is not only what I was hoping to accomplish in this story, but in all of my SF. To be honest, part of what I was doing here is testing out a character for my WiP to replace an arc I'm not satisfied with, and based on the positive responses, I think Amara may find herself with 8-12 chapters.
Thanks again for the review, and I look forward to seeing your comments in the improving thread when this is over!
@-K2-
What a phenomenal and comprehensive set of reviews.
The labour involved is as much as that in producing a story. I don't underestimate the work you put into it.
Your only problem now is that you have created the expectation that you will do it again for the next one.
( Great review of my own story too, thanks. I will resist blowing my own trumpet since, so far, it has only emitted a one vote fart. lol )
What a phenomenal and comprehensive set of reviews.
The labour involved is as much as that in producing a story. I don't underestimate the work you put into it.
Your only problem now is that you have created the expectation that you will do it again for the next one.
( Great review of my own story too, thanks. I will resist blowing my own trumpet since, so far, it has only emitted a one vote fart. lol )
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2014
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Cheers K2 - this story was happy for me
- this story was happy for me
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