DISCUSSION THREAD -- October 2021 -- 75 Word Writing Challenge

[Cat's Cradle]

Congratulations, Betok_Haney! Fine story.
And well done, Phyrebrat, for your close second.

Thank you, Daysman, for the listing, and huge thanks to Phyrebrat for the vote. Looking forward to your choices for November, Betok_Haney, CC

 

[Betok_Haney]

Congratulations @Betok_Haney.
Mine was personal to me this month, I've watched my mum slowly lose herself to vascular dementia and sadly passed away a few days after I wrote this, wasn't expecting a mention never mind a vote. Thank you everyone who shortlisted and to @StilLearning and @AnRoinnUltra for the votes.

I'm so sorry @nixie , we are just starting the same journey with my mom. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart in your story.

 

[Starbeast]

Congratulations Betok_Haney
@Betok_Haney


​

Nothing clicked for me on the 300 word picture this time, so I won't attempt to force an entry. I'll stay on feels like safer ground to me on the 75 word turf.

That's cool. But if you ever wish to push the limits and try a 300 challenge, I'll rush over to you with some inspiration and a funnel. Hopefully the muse will creep into your mind.

Congratulations @Betok_Haney.
Mine was personal to me this month, I've watched my mum slowly lose herself to vascular dementia and sadly passed away a few days after I wrote this, wasn't expecting a mention never mind a vote. Thank you everyone who shortlisted and to @StilLearning and @AnRoinnUltra for the votes.

My heart goes out to you with my deepest condolences. My mother went through the same thing, and I cared for her until the end. Just like my father. I lost both parents a year before Covid struck the world. My heart, mind and soul are calm, because the Almighty let me know that they'll both be fine.

I admire your strength. God loves you my dear sweet lady.

 

[Peter V]

congratulations @Betok_Haney

Nice story amongst a lot of strong entries,

Thanks as always to Parson and Victoria for taking the time to review each tale and to each and every person who either mentioned my entry or voted for me. Appreciated as always.

 

[Peter V]

Congratulations @Betok_Haney.
Mine was personal to me this month, I've watched my mum slowly lose herself to vascular dementia and sadly passed away a few days after I wrote this, wasn't expecting a mention never mind a vote. Thank you everyone who shortlisted and to @StilLearning and @AnRoinnUltra for the votes.

Please accept my condolences. My mum passed away in 2010 after suffering from Alzheimer's and it is a truly distressing and often dehumanising experience for all involved. Not least was the guilt I felt at feeling relieved when it was all over. In truth the mum I knew had gone long before the end and the only blessing I had was that she never forgot who I was. Some are less fortunate.

 

[Parson]

Mine was personal to me this month, I've watched my mum slowly lose herself to vascular dementia and sadly passed away a few days after I wrote this, wasn't expecting a mention never mind a vote.

My condolences. I could tell your story came from a very heartfelt place. It connected with me because I lost my Father to dementia in 2018. I think when you write about something you truly feel your story is much, much better. May you feel the presence of your friends and a spiritual connection with your mum as you travel this season of grief.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Deepest sympathies, @nixie. Losing a mother is such a hard thing, I know (I lost my own to Alzheimer's-related illness).
There was a real sense of heart and emotion, and the values in listening and remembering, in your fine story. A piece of your art with which to commemorate your mother. Condolences, CC

I agree. I must admit that I didn't really understand the meaning of your story, but now it makes perfect sense and is a poignantly eloquent entry, all the more so for coming from personal experience.

 

[nixie]

I agree. I must admit that I didn't really understand the meaning of your story, but now it makes perfect sense and is a poignantly eloquent entry, all the more so for coming from personal experience.

I wasn't expecting anyone to get it, was more of a reminder to myself to be more patient when she went on repeat.

 

[paranoid marvin]

Congratulations Betok_Haney! I look forward to seeing what Challenge you set us in November.

Thanks to Hugh, Starbeast, Luiglin and Daysman for the shortlistings and really pleasing to see a final day vote from PM, thanks dude!

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I'm just glad (more relieved) to be able to construct a coherent poetical entry; something I have struggled with for the last few months. As is usually the case I started with my final line and worked backwards, with my inspiration being probably the greatest spooky song ever, 'Ghost Riders In The Sky'.

 

[M. Robert Gibson]

Well done @Betok_Haney

And thanks to @Bren G for the totally unexpected vote. It was another of my 'I can't think of anything original, so I'll just rip off a classic story' entries

 

[Luiglin]

Congrats @Betok_Haney

Thanks for the vote Artoriarius and for the mentions + nice comments folks.

My tale is inspired by something that actually occurred. My Dad told me that while they were by his Mom's (and my Grandmother) bed moments before she passed away, that she raised herself up, smiled at a place in the room where no one was standing and said "Hello, Charlie." Now Charlie, had been her husband of over 60 years who had died some years previously, after which my Grandmother slowly developed dementia. At the end, she wasn't compos mentis, not even living in the past like many dementia or Alzheimer's sufferers do. So, what occurred was very uncharacteristic of her final year.

Now many in the family said it had been my Grandfather's ghost coming back to welcome her on, others who didn't believe in that sort of thing, had said she was just hallucinating. However, whatever your thoughts about what happened, I was just happy that in her final moments she saw her husband once again and, as such, died contented.

I wanted to convey something similar but knew I didn't have the words in the 75 to introduce enough of a back story to explain this. Therefore, I had to pick two characters that were universally recognised and known to share a strong bond. Even using the two, I still don't think that I conveyed it well enough to show that Scooby had died long before Shaggy had got old and had come back as a ghost to join him at the end. However, I remain pleased with the final piece.

I had my daughter read it before posting, her being a huge Scooby Doo fan growing up. She got it and would only say, "That's really sad". Funny how she sees that side of it but me, nearer to the other end of life, now thinks how good it would be to see someone who you had lost years before and meant so much to you one more time before the end.

Now back to writing Tales of the Four and some stupid situations to put them in.

 

[Bowler1]

Bowler1 considers Starbeast's offer, and when writer's block bites I'll try anything. But... and it is a big but, just where would Starbeast stick that funnel of his and is the price the muse demands worth a flash of inspiration?

Worryingly, I might not care where the funnel goes if the words flow. This forum's membership comes with hidden dangers

 

[Provincial]

I wanted to convey something similar but knew I didn't have the words in the 75 to introduce enough of a back story to explain this. Therefore, I had to pick two characters that were universally recognised and known to share a strong bond. Even using the two, I still don't think that I conveyed it well enough to show that Scooby had died long before Shaggy had got old and had come back as a ghost to join him at the end. However, I remain pleased with the final piece.

I did wonder if Scooby had died previously, so I think you must have managed to suggest that possibility somehow. I thought it had a very happy ending, not sad at all.

 

[Perpetual Man]

Congratulations @Betok_Haney

 

[Bren G]

Congrats @Betok_Haney

Thanks for the vote Artoriarius and for the mentions + nice comments folks.

My tale is inspired by something that actually occurred. My Dad told me that while they were by his Mom's (and my Grandmother) bed moments before she passed away, that she raised herself up, smiled at a place in the room where no one was standing and said "Hello, Charlie." Now Charlie, had been her husband of over 60 years who had died some years previously, after which my Grandmother slowly developed dementia. At the end, she wasn't compos mentis, not even living in the past like many dementia or Alzheimer's sufferers do. So, what occurred was very uncharacteristic of her final year.

Now many in the family said it had been my Grandfather's ghost coming back to welcome her on, others who didn't believe in that sort of thing, had said she was just hallucinating. However, whatever your thoughts about what happened, I was just happy that in her final moments she saw her husband once again and, as such, died contented.

I wanted to convey something similar but knew I didn't have the words in the 75 to introduce enough of a back story to explain this. Therefore, I had to pick two characters that were universally recognised and known to share a strong bond. Even using the two, I still don't think that I conveyed it well enough to show that Scooby had died long before Shaggy had got old and had come back as a ghost to join him at the end. However, I remain pleased with the final piece.

I had my daughter read it before posting, her being a huge Scooby Doo fan growing up. She got it and would only say, "That's really sad". Funny how she sees that side of it but me, nearer to the other end of life, now thinks how good it would be to see someone who you had lost years before and meant so much to you one more time before the end.

Now back to writing Tales of the Four and some stupid situations to put them in.

I went back and reread it, and I'm not sure how I missed it the first time. I'm kicking myself really. A beautiful story Luigin, truly.

 

[Bren G]

This time it was a rare occasion where I was "possessed" by two stories. This one I wrote first (below), came over much time and labour. I thought it captured the essence of our times but decided to not go with it as thought it might be too dark and political? My submission, funny enough, came to me while walking my dog, I sat on a bench and wrote it in about 5 mins. Strange.

A Spirited Discourse

The Ghost of the Past was seated at the head of a long table.

The host to its left said. “Share your words. For our civilization must shed its ignoble fleece!”

The host on its right replied, “Share not. Those are our father’s sins. Such lessons have been learned!”

They argued well into the night.

Two ghosts eavesdropped nearby. The Present, ingrained in the moment. The Future, stared into the flickering hearth, eyes wide, uncertain.

 

[Provincial]

This time it was a rare occasion where I was "possessed" by two stories. This one I wrote first (below), came over much time and labour. I thought it captured the essence of our times but decided to not go with it as thought it might be too dark and political? My submission, funny enough, came to me while walking my dog, I sat on a bench and wrote it in about 5 mins. Strange.

A Spirited Discourse

The Ghost of the Past was seated at the head of a long table.

The host to its left said. “Share your words. For our civilization must shed its ignoble fleece!”

The host on its right replied, “Share not. Those are our father’s sins. Such lessons have been learned!”

They argued well into the night.

Two ghosts eavesdropped nearby. The Present, ingrained in the moment. The Future, stared into the flickering hearth, eyes wide, uncertain.

Not too political; it can be interpreted in many ways, including the inner struggles of a person trying to come to terms with their past.

 

[Phyrebrat]

Oh fwah fwah fwaaaah, I shall let you claim this victory @Betok_Haney but it will make little difference to my plans for the Galaxy

Thank you so very much to those who voted. I really appreciate the votes. Thanks Ursa, Aber, VB, Elkerlyc, BT Jones & JS Wiig. <sinister emoji>

My shortlist was as follows
Nixie, (runner up)
CC (vote)
Daysman
Mosaix
Peter v
TEIN
Moonbat
VB
TJ
Perp

Without getting too morbid… my entry was semi-autobiographical. When my brother was killed in a car crash in Saudi my family and I noticed we were starting to get lots of funeral and end-of-life ads served to us on Facebook. What’s scary is that as the accident was so shocking and awful, we did not post anything to social media.

My father, mother and I all started to suddenly get funeral ads. It was horrendously invasive and I know one has to give microphone access permission to use some social media services.

To have to juggle the grief with the vile commodification of life was heartbreaking. So I deleted my Facebook account. Also I not longer use WhatsApp apart from for one or two contacts, and prefer the Telegram app (which is truly private).

So yeah, s0c1al mEdiaZ bAddd!

I have an Instagram account I want to delete but it has too many good memories … argh.

 

[StilLearning]

Congratulations, Betok_Haney! Well written - my vote went to Nixie: My Nan is suffering a variant of Alzheimer's, and this is a woman who, at 86, chased away a burglar who was forcing their way into the flat opposite her. Seeing someone like that affected in this way - she doesn't deserve this, and it very much could be me, so...

 

[Mon0Zer0]

congratulations @Betok_Haney