SF Stuff that Really Annoys You!

[Pyan]

You would have thought that the designers of Federation starships would have heard of seat-belts…

 

[farntfar]

And they all get thrown in different directions. Uhura gets thrown to the right of the screen, whilst Scotty, if he's on the bridge, usually at a station on the right gets thrown to the left.
Bones gets thrown forward, from where he's standing by the turbolift. Sulu and Chekov get throw in opposite directions and Kirk does a pirouette.
Spock just raises an eyebrow. The lack of logic is all too much for him

 

[Ursa major]

And they all get thrown in different directions. Uhura gets thrown to the right of the screen, whilst Scotty, if he's on the bridge, usually at a station on the right gets thrown to the left.
Bones gets thrown forward, from where he's standing by the turbolift. Sulu and Chekov get throw in opposite directions and Kirk does a pirouette.
Spock just raises an eyebrow. The lack of logic is all too much for him

Have you ever thought that it's all a Vulcan joke, i.e. that Spock has mind-melded with all of them (most without their knowledge) and has implanted the idea that this is what they have to do when the inertial dampeners are having to do extra work?

That they lurch in random directions shows that it isn't an external force making them do it.

 

[Ray Zdybrow]

"unless society collapses..."

Yeah what are the chances?

[opens newspaper]

 

[Rufus Coppertop]

That they lurch in random directions shows that it isn't an external force making them do it.

I think a Vulcan officer should put an empty drink bottle on a console top and balance a ball on the open top and calmly stand there gazing at it when he hears the words "brace for impact".

Everyone else lurches about flailing and some idiot throws himself over a console.

Neither the ball nor the bottle move.

Neither does the Vulcan.

When questioned, he calmly points out a few home truths to the captain and the rest of the bridge officers.

The next time a collision is pending, the captain says, "enjoy impact".

 

[JunkMonkey]

You would have thought that the designers of Federation starships would have heard of seat-belts…

Reminds me. I was once very confused by why there were seatbelts on the chairs in an SF film. The film (the name of which eludes me but starred Christian Slater and was directed by Roger 'Battlefield Earth' Christian, and was sh*t) was set on a base on the Moon! Why would a moonbase need seatbelts? Maybe the NASA had become infected with a bout of Jerry Anderson inspired paranoia.

Turned out the film was shot on a generic standing SF set that was hired out to low budget movies. The week after the same set would be the interior of a interstellar war ship or a freighter or whatever.

At least the Enterprise crew got chairs. Apart from Worf. Which I always thought odd as he is obviously the most top heavy character they have. You would have thought they would want to lower his centre of gravity if only to stop him falling over and squashing some smaller member of the crew.

 

[Foxbat]

With regards to photon torpedoes and lurching….

I once found myself on a ferry during some pretty stormy weather (crossing from Orkney to mainland Scotland in the middle of winter). One minute, I was sitting having breakfast, the next thing, my breakfast was flying through the air. Some people were getting quite upset and nobody was able to hold on to their flying food. I’d love to see the Enterprise canteen during a battle

 

[JunkMonkey]

With regards to photon torpedoes and lurching….

I once found myself on a ferry during some pretty stormy weather (crossing from Orkney to mainland Scotland in the middle of winter). One minute, I was sitting having breakfast, the next thing, my breakfast was flying through the air. Some people were getting quite upset and nobody was able to hold on to their flying food. I’d love to see the Enterprise canteen during a battle

Maybe that's what all those other members of the Enterprise DO all day when they're not aimlessly wandering the corridors. They put things back on the shelves of the scrupulously (antiseptically) tidy living quarters and mop up all the crap spilled in the canteen.

 

[Foxbat]

I reckon cleaning the Enterprise toilets after a battle would be even worse.

 

[farntfar]

The enterprise toilets are spotless.
They just beam the waste directly from your bowel into space. (Or alternatively where they beam the tribbles, if such a vessel is nearby.)

 

[JunkMonkey]

The enterprise toilets are spotless.
They just beam the waste directly from your bowel into space. (Or alternatively where they beam the tribbles, if such a vessel is nearby.)

I was watching an episode of Stargate Atlantis last night* with the commentary track on and the director maintained that all this 'deep space sensor' stuff was nonsense, all you had to do to track a ship in hyperspace was follow the trail of 'space poop'.

*Season 2 Ep 2 "Intruder"

 

[Bramandin]

all you had to do to track a ship in hyperspace was follow the trail of 'space poop

That assumes that their poop isn't considered a valuable resource. What was that one planet that was concerned about erosion from the tourist industry?

 

[farntfar]

What was that one planet that was concerned about erosion from the tourist industry?

That was in the Hitchhikers guide. I forget the name of the planet.
They weighed you when you arrived and when you left and any net imbalance was surgically removed from your body on your departure.
He also said that when you used the toilets on the planet it was vitally important to get a receipt.

 

[JunkMonkey]

That assumes that their poop isn't considered a valuable resource.

Well they throw it away from the ISS. Freeze dry it to extract the water then sling it in the general direction of the earth. So the next time you see a shooting star...

 

[Wayne Mack]

The enterprise toilets are spotless.
They just beam the waste directly from your bowel into space. (Or alternatively where they beam the tribbles, if such a vessel is nearby.)

I would expect that any long-term biosphere would need to be self contained. Leaving matter and especially water behind would require a fairly constant replenishment of material. I would expect the sanitary system to direct all material to the agricultural decks (which I have yet to see) or to some sort of transporter-like gizmo that reconstitutes waste into appetizing meals.

 

[farntfar]

It actually gets used as base material by the the replicators. (Didn't they suggest this in Below Decks at some point? Or was it in some sort of skit.
(That is definitely a K in the last word.)
This reminds me of a bit in Julian May's Jack the Bodiless, when he's a very young, and living in an incubator. He makes Christmas presents for all the other children. "Just don't tell them what is the only raw material I have in here", he says to his brother.

 

[Bramandin]

I would expect that any long-term biosphere would need to be self contained. Leaving matter and especially water behind would require a fairly constant replenishment of material. I would expect the sanitary system to direct all material to the agricultural decks (which I have yet to see) or to some sort of transporter-like gizmo that reconstitutes waste into appetizing meals.

There's also whether flushing the toilet directly into space presents a navigation hazard by coating the fronts of ships in residue. In Star Trek, I imagine the ram-scoops would clear the traffic lanes if they weren't molecularly disintegrating their waste.

 

[Ray Zdybrow]

Sarcastic androids annoy me too.

Bender and Marvin are REALLY SORRY to have annoyed you

 

[psikeyhackr]

Bender and Marvin are REALLY SORRY to have annoyed you

Yeah, just wait 'til I upload viruses into them.

I'll show them sorry. I'll call it the Sorry virus.

 

[Vince W]

Jamming the word quantum everywhere.