I am smurfing stuck on Orphan meets a Monster.

[Bramandin]

Emotions are complex, and sometimes what an action means depends on the context and the disposition of the person or animal being described.

That's what I'm getting at. Hitting an object might be frustration at the world, or anger specifically at that fax machine. Hitting a person might be anger, but it might also be a fight/flight response like punching the ghoul at a haunted house. Hyper-sensitivity to touch is listed as a fear reaction, so hitting the person who's scaring you might be a valid response.

I might need the emotion thesaurus or someone to come in to edit my character's emotions because I'm not wired like a human being, at least not a normal one. I was taught that acting like I was in pain when a fire alarm was blaring right over my head was inappropriate.

 

[tinkerdan]

That's what I'm getting at. Hitting an object might be frustration at the world,

And as I said this could work though it could be woefully inadequate.
What I mean by that is that when looking at perhaps a woman who is frustrated and has both hands fisted and both pummeling a man on his chest might look as weak as if they had their hands flat and were pushing them away whereas a fist to the face could be like a slap or even like they were striking out with a candlestick in their hands. All of these could be described as hitting but then which of the above emotions are you trying to get across? Frustration, fear or anger.

Another thing is that it might be more likely that people are having trouble connecting with character because the words crafting the narrative are too distancing. So it might have less to do with emotion and more to do with getting closer to the POV so they can discern things by character touch, smell, taste, hearing and sight.

I think it is perfectly fine that it hurts when those fire and smoke alarms go off, I know they are no fun to me. Think about your reaction and try to describe what that looks like and maybe even delve into why it makes you feel the way you feel when it goes off.

Also try to remember that the next, appropriate, reaction would be to get as far away from the hurtful noise and the danger as you can get. Pain is a signal that something is wrong and needs immediate attention.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I would not be overly concerned with emotional level in a story; that may not be the underlying issue. Readers tend to be very correct in identifying that something is not working in a story, but very poor in diagnosing the issue. In many stories, the main character is quite unemotional; he or she is expected to be calm, calculating, and competent. When everything is falling apart around him or her, the reader almost expects the heroic character to remain unemotional.

If possible, when a reviewer makes a comment about a lack of emotion or something else, ask, 'Why?' It may be necessary to ask why multiple times to get an understanding of what the reader has observed. It could be that the reader did not understand why a character reacted in a certain manner. It could be that the reader did not feel tension in a situation or concern about a character's outcome. It could be the situation was confusing to the reader. There can be a myriad of underlying reasons and, as a writer, one is left to try and diagnose the issue by oneself.

 

[Bramandin]

I would not be overly concerned with emotional level in a story; that may not be the underlying issue. Readers tend to be very correct in identifying that something is not working in a story, but very poor in diagnosing the issue. In many stories, the main character is quite unemotional; he or she is expected to be calm, calculating, and competent. When everything is falling apart around him or her, the reader almost expects the heroic character to remain unemotional.

If possible, when a reviewer makes a comment about a lack of emotion or something else, ask, 'Why?' It may be necessary to ask why multiple times to get an understanding of what the reader has observed. It could be that the reader did not understand why a character reacted in a certain manner. It could be that the reader did not feel tension in a situation or concern about a character's outcome. It could be the situation was confusing to the reader. There can be a myriad of underlying reasons and, as a writer, one is left to try and diagnose the issue by oneself.

My instinct on this was that it was simply a bad chapter. I thought last night about changing the MC to his friend, but I don't think that will really make things easier.

I do have problem with emotion, but it also might be that Radley is hard for people to empathize with because the majority isn't always in the habit of relating to people who aren't like them.

I'm thinking about Harry Potter and Twilight... maybe the answer is more that I should focus more on the adventure than who is going on it. Supposedly Bella is just a reader avatar and when people want to experience being in the setting of Harry Potter, they talk about getting their own letter to Hogwarts instead of wishing that they were the hero. I don't think I want to try to read Twilight.

 

[Bramandin]

All of these could be described as hitting but then which of the above emotions are you trying to get across?

That might be my other problem. Radley has a very simple vocabulary and when I was starting out I think I was told to make the narrative sound like him. I gave up on To Kill a Mockingbird because I didn't want the dialect to leak into my writing style. Maybe I should go back and give the narration the vocabulary he'd have access to as an adult.