Showing character emotion

[THX1138]

I didn't think I was going to sur, survive, 'YAwwnn!' Um, survive being eaten by,,,Godzilla...BOOM...SWAY.
But it was not that,,,bad,,,oh,I can't stay awake...Cool! it's a digested,,,somthing, 'YAwwnn!'...BOOM...SWAY.
It's really,,,comforting,,,'snore'...BOOM...SWAY.
What? Oh, yeah,,,it's very relaxing,,,really, 'YAwwnn!'. And his atomic breath,,,is soothing, 'snore'...BOOM...SWAY.
I just can't stay,,,awake,,,at all...BOOM...SWAY...'YAwwnn'...BOOM...SWAY...'snore'...BOOM...SWAY...'snore'

Confusion, Balloon Animal Class.

 

[AnRoinnUltra]

‘Phew, I’m glad we didn’t have to do the whole name introduction guff …maybe alcoholics anonymous won't be that bad after all.’

Spongeon Blumendontle smiled when he saw the packet of balloons on the table.

‘Wow, occupational therapy right off the bat, happy days’, he thought.

‘Do ye always get to make balloons?’, he asked the woman sitting next to him.

‘Yes, of course’, she replied.

‘Every time?’

‘Yes’, replied the woman. She shuffled her chair slightly farther away from Spongeon, and began neatly arranging the balloons in front of her by size.

‘Fair enough’, thought Spongeon, ‘this is not the place for chat, we just need to concentrate on unlinking ourselves from booze.’

The small fat man at the head of the room inflated a long blue balloon, and theatrically swing a knot into the end of it.

‘Show off’, thought Spongeon.

‘Right, tonight we’re going to be making three of the most basic balloon animals, starting with a sausage dog’, announced the small fat man.

‘Hang on, that doesn’t sound right’, thought Spongeon, ‘is this some sort of test?’

Spongeon stood up. ‘Is this some sort of test?’, he asked.

The eight others in the room all laughed.

‘No, there’s no exam’, replied the fat man.

The group laughed again. The fat man began slowly stretching and shaping his balloon. The rest of the class followed his actions.

Except Spongeon.

‘This is a head melt’, he thought. ‘It must be an initiation, they’re trying to suss out if I’m serious about giving up drink. Sausage dog must be a metaphor. Hmmm. Sausage dogs are Dachshunds. They have small legs. They couldn’t get on a couch even if they wanted to. So this whole thing is a metaphor for seeing a psychiatrist. If you make a dog you are showing you are unwilling to commit by means of a symbol. Hmmm. I need to make a chameleon.’

After three minutes the small fat man began examining the balloon creations. The closer the balloon shapes resembled a Dachshund, the happier the man seemed.

‘Clever, very clever’, thought Spongeon, ‘misdirection, make sure we’re paying attention. Here he comes now.’

‘Erm, uh, erm. Well’, the balloon inspector was clearly struggling to find words to fit what Spongeon had made.

‘Don’t worry’, whispered Spongeon, ‘I know ya don’t want the others to be embarrassed by the fact that I’m the only one to figure it out. It'd probably look bad for you. I won’t say a thing.’

The small fat man scratched his head. Spongeon winked, and nodded towards the others. Spongeon tapped his forehead with his index finger. ‘Just give ‘em a bit of time boss. They’ll figure it out. In the meantime I’ll just sit back here and stay stum.’

• The small fat man shrugged, and went back to the head of the class.
• He began demonstrating the steps needed to craft a balloon giraffe.
• Every so often he glanced down at Spongeon.
• Spongeon replied to the glances with a sly thumbs up.

Exasperation, rock concert

 

[THX1138]

The crowd cheered wildly as the stage lights came on and the band struck a very loud and overly sustained off-key chord, again. They did this for every set they played, and it was getting irritating. But Jake didn’t care, they were his favorite rock band of all time and Sara knew this when she agreed to go to their concert with him.

“This is their best song!” He yelled out to her, or so it sounded. He said this about every song they sang, or screamed is more like it.

“What about this song?!” Her throat hurt more each time she called out to him, but Jake was too lost in it all. Sara started jumping up and down while waving her arms furiously in the air to get Jakes attention. And in return, he did the same and soon the entire section was in a near Mosh-Pit frenzy just as the band reached the most annoying part of their set.

Feeling crushed and defeated by the mayhem, Sara spent the rest of the show, including two encores, glaring at her enthralled boyfriend with her arms folded and foot tapping in anger.

Sympathy, At the Veterinarian

 

[paranoid marvin]

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Smith," the receptionist informed the concerned dog owner.

"What... what do you mean? Is Ruffles..." Mrs Smith couldn't bear to finish the sentence.

"Dead? Oh no, it was only a small thorn in his paw," assured the receptionist

Mrs. Smith breathed a huge sigh of relief, "Oh, that's marvellous. I thought he might need an operation."

"It only took 5 minutes with a pair of tweezers to pry it free," came the reply.

The look of relief on Mrs. Smith's face turned to puzzlement, "Then what are you sorry for?"

"Your pet insurance plan," explained the receptionist, "excludes thorn-related paw injuries."

"That's ridiculous!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith, "I purchased your 'Gold Premier Plan' policy."

Withdrawing a booklet the size of a small telephone directory, the secretary leafed through the pages, and turned it around so that Mrs. Smith could see. "It's printed here as plain as day," she affirmed, "Page 126, paragraph C, subsection 3 (a) ix: excludes any injuries caused by thorns."

Mrs. Smith grabbed the insurance document, and began leafing the pages of exclusions, "There are literally thousands of exclusions here."

The receptionist smiled sympathetically, "Well Mrs. Smith, you did only choose the 'Gold Premier Plus' policy. Now if you'd opted for the 'Platinum Super Plus" policy, you would have been fully protected."

"But I pay $100 a month for that insurance. And I've been paying it now for the last seven years! What exactly is Ruffles covered for?" Mrs Smith replied angrily.

"Well, it does cover parrot bites," explained the receptionist.

"Parrot bites!?" exclaimed Mrs. Smith.

"Yes," said the receptionist, then went on to elaborate, "As long as they were Norwegian Blue parrots."

"So if a Norwegian Blue parrot happened to bite Ruffles on the paw, he would be covered?"

"Not on the paw, no. Paws are excluded," the receptionist admitted, but then added brightly, "But if he'd been bitten on the tail he'd have been fully insured."

"Well this is all extremely unsatisfactory," grumbled Mrs. Smith. "How much do I owe you?"

The receptionist calculated the bill, "That'll be $5,000 please,"

"$5000!? For 5 minutes work?"

"We could always put the thorn back in?"

"Put it back in? What sort of operation are you running here?"

"A veterinary operation. It's not easy being a vet you know. You try spending 8 years of your life studying to become a vet. Looking at horrible diseases, getting bitten by dogs, getting fleas from cats, sticking your hand up cow's bottoms..."

"All right all right, here's the cash. Come, Ruffles!"


Overjoyed, On Mars

 

[Mans]

I hope I did not upset you with my awkward writing

The last rescue group returned to the temporary base. When their helicopter landed, Elvis was the first person who ran toward it, hoping they had found out the location of the plane crash or even found his dad and mom without serious injuries. Throughout the entire rescue operation, which lasted for two long days, he avoided thinking that one or both of his parents may have been killed in the air crash. He frequently requested to accompany the group in the search operations, but they strictly refused due to his young age.

At that time, the first person who got off the helicopter was the head of the group. He approached Elvis with a happy face, embraced him, and said overjoyed, "I have good news for you, just like finding water on Mars. We have found your parents. They are alive, but they need to be hospitalized for a while. I promise you, they will be home shortly. However, I must inform you that your dad is not a skilled pilot. He mistakenly landed on a glacier in the mountains, 100 km away from the airstrip. After being released from the hospital, he should visit an optometrist to get appropriate glasses."

 

[Mans]

Excuse me, I forgot to specify the phrases for the next piece

Embarrassed , fake brand

 

[THX1138]

Jake shuffled his feet when his friends commented on his new sneakers, “Hay Bro! You finally got your Air Jordan’s!” They told him.

“Yeah,” he said while looking down at the basketball court, trying to avoid looking eye contact. He was hoping they wouldn’t look too closely at them, hoping they wouldn’t notice, but so far, they hadn’t. So, after choosing sides and getting caught up in playing the game, Jake started to relax. And just as he was about to do a Free Throw.

“Hay Jake! Why do they say ARE JORDAN, and not AIR JORDAN on the back?” Jake tried clearing his throat in an attempt to ignore the comment. Regaining his stance, he focused on the hoop and set himself up again for the shot, when:

“Jake has fake Jordan’s!”, “ Way to go, ‘Fake Jake’!”, “Jake ain’t getting any air in those, are you Jake?!”

Jake’s heart pounded in his ears as he dropped the ball as he tried not to run off the court, with his friends all laughing and mocking him. Then shortly after that torment began, one of them called out to him.

“Jake! Take it easy, man. Tyrel here has the same fake Jordans as you do. It’s cool dude, it’s cool.”

He stopped and looked back to see Tyrel showing the back of his own sneakers. Sure enough, ARE JORDAN. “If you need to make a jump,” Tyrel called out, “I’ll pick you up like a ballerina so you can make the basket!”

Now Jake was really embarrassed.



Self-Pity, Looking into a mirror

 

[SmashingPumpkin]

Nothing.

What did I expect?

I lean over the candelabra, heat licking my chin. My nose touches the glass, the sizzle of silver behind. Smoke dances around the outline of a head: a ghostly shadow in a painted-over portrait. The best I could hope for. Or shall I swathe my face in flour and be a marble statue? Cover myself in linens like a mummy? Pick your monster. Anything but me.


Schadenfreude, Birthday party