PoV Describes Known Location

[Wayne Mack]

why not discuss the specifics that are giving you problems, then come back to a wider application of whatever solution?

The general premise is that the PoV is meeting his team members to brief them on their latest mission. The meeting location is a building that houses a secretive society that masquerades as a civic organization (think Elks, Shriners in the US). The key points of the location are an empty area with restricted access to a more crowded area and a society logo. A world building side note that I would like to keep is a notice of an upcoming lecture about the society's past. I am considering using this to give the 'something has changed' observation suggested by @HareBrain. There is no plot significance to the layout of the building; it serves primarily as the reveal of the existence of the society. I want to avoid white rooming the area, but keep the description fairly short. I also want to evoke of feeling of hiding in plain sight.

To reflect back to my original post, the building itself is unimportant and the PoV has been there multiple times. The key piece of information that the reader needs to know is the existence of the society housed within the building.

 

[Wayne Mack]

Well one way -- and I'm not sure this is advisable, but even if so, I would guess that it's a technique that should be used sparingly, if at all -- is if the PoV character gets the feeling that something is not quite right in a location with which they are familiar, so they try to work out what it is.

This sounds like a variation of Harebrain's suggestion. It was to have the PoV notice a change. This retains the change in the location, but let's the PoV discover it. This gives a slight shift in tone and puts greater emphasis on the change and I'll keep this in mind for other situations. For this specific instance, I don't want the PoV to be overly concerned about the location or any changes. Thanks.

 

[Swank]

This sounds like a variation of Harebrain's suggest. It was to have the PoV notice a change. This retains the change in the location, but let's the PoV discover it. This gives a slight shift in tone and puts greater emphasis on the change and I'll keep this in mind for other situations. For this specific instance, I don't want the PoV to be overly concerned about the location or any changes. Thanks.

Can't the PoV just read the sign?

 

[Phyrebrat]

The problem with this kind of question is that we’re all going to say ‘I would …’ etc.

So with that’s said… I would recommend writing the scene with the blatant exposition you want and put it up on crits with the request that people only comment on the description bit.

Or, write the scene as above but don’t post it, and when you’ve finished the novel, you might be better positioned to solve the issue.

Context is key, as Swank has said, and everything we say will be loaded with our own preferences and expectations — and, of course our own internal struggles with prose.

 

[Wayne Mack]

I would recommend writing the scene with the blatant exposition you want and put it up on crits with the request that people only comment on the description bit.

I definitely will consider throwing something up on Critiques once I am happy with it. I have a draft, but I feel it is a bit clunky, so I was hoping to resolve that first. I have had some other people read over it and gotten that feedback. I'm not sure of the timeline for posting something, though, as I am currently focused more on continuing to write the story.

Look for this to show in Crits, but probably not until later this summer.

 

[Dragonlady]

i often do this by describing the characters' feelings about the place. Are they relieved to finally be back from work to enjoy their favourite creaky leather armchair? Do they sigh every time they enter their office, hoping it will soon be the last time and they get a better job? Does that smell remind them of home, or that they haven't cleaned the kitchen? Even places i go every day that haven't really changed can evoke memories and feelings.

 

[Biskit]

The key points of the location are an empty area with restricted access to a more crowded area and a society logo. A world building side note that I would like to keep is a notice of an upcoming lecture about the society's past.

I write a lot of 1st POV and treat it as if I were sitting face-to-face with the audience - this is my story, this is what happened, this is what things looked like, these are the fun things I want to tell you about. For this sort of scenario I would tell the listener that the location was chosen because they needed the empty area with restricted access, or had it imposed for some reason inspite of the size and restricted access. I tend to try to combine telling the audience about the situation with telling them something about the plot or the character.
When my demon trader describes his shop, he mentions the herbal "peace candles" that he sells, which by his observation are big and heavy enough to do very unpeaceful things to people. So now my audience knows he's got some really big candles for sale and his first thoughts tend towards blunt-impact weapons.

 

[AnRoinnUltra]

Why not just say what is (theoretically) there?
Am working on a chapter with a similar(ish) problem.
It is dark so the protagonists can't see what is going on so I just described it, and jumped back into the story.*
(*total random internet stranger unqualified suggestion.)

...him being skinned alive would prove that the Universe hates tattle tales. Just like me . Wait till he’s ripped apart by Marmstickles and you’ll know that’s true.’

Now.

The problem with Nancy’s (and Bart, and Bip, and Martina -if she’d been awake) point of view was that they couldn’t see what was going on fifty meters upstream of where they were. They were close enough to hear what was going on. And if it was daytime, and there were no trees in their way, what they would’ve seen would have been:

A large group of Marmstickles, probably numbering more than two dozen...

 

[Rjalex]

One possiblity is that your character has been through something life changing since they were last in this location and that makes them notice things differently. Or even if they are in an unusual state of mind that takes them back to some childhood experience in this place