# Neil Gaiman goes Nubian with BBT



## BBT Magazine (Sep 14, 2006)

We here at BBT Magazine decided that for our premiere issue we wanted an interview with an honest to goodness legend – someone who we loved and shared our sense of humor – we tossed around a few names, and kept coming back to one of our favorite authors, Neil Gaiman.
“It’s settled, I said, slopping Guiness all over my shirt and rolling a D20 off of the table, “I’ll drop him an email tomorrow. We should have the interview in a few days.”
My more sensible and less inebriated companion and fellow editor, Kennedy-Smith, gave me a rather severe look and went to the refrigerator to fetch us each another beer.
“You do that,” he mumbled in a fashion that only his dearest friends and dogs can understand. 

The following day I put on my editorial hat, a fetching little Greek Fisherman’s cap, and set off in search of Neil.

It went like this:

(As you may remember he posted this along with his response on his blog awhile back.)

Dear Mr. Gaiman,

I am a co-editor for a magazine called BBT Magazine (Blood, Blade, & Thruster – The Magazine of Speculative Fiction & Satire), with it’s first issue to hit the stands in Mid-August.
I am writing with the hopes that you would be willing to do a brief e-mail based Q&A. Some questions will be fairly silly since we are combination of satire and Spec-Fic. (Think Realms of Fantasy meets The Onion.)

“10 questions with Neil Gaiman,” would be lovely if you are willing. We would simply email them to you and you could reply the same way.

If you don’t think you would have time for that, “5 questions with Neil Gaiman,” has a nice ring to it. Slightly better than, “Neil Gaiman answers one question!”

If you decide not to take part in or Q&A interview, I suppose we could do something like “Neil Gaiman snubs tiny little start-up magazine, crushing the lungs of editors and fans alike!” on the cover, although it sells far less magazines and we would be reduced to tears.

We have a link to your website on our website already because we truly are huge fans. This would be a real coup for our little magazine and we hope you’ll consider taking part.

Besides, think of all the good Karma you’d receive from helping troglodytes such as ourselves.

Thanks you so much for your time,
Lucien Spelman Editor, BBT Magazine



The sad thing is yours wasn't the only FAQ line request for a five-question email interview yesterday. There were four others, and I actually wound up saying yes to the Spanish one because I've not done a Spanish interview in ages, whereas I've done lots of US interviews, many for little start-up magazines. So this is a sorry for you, and for the other three requests for interviews from yesterday, and all the ones that came in last weeka nd last month that I haven't even had time to say no to. Good luck with the magazine, though.

Probably the best way to get an interview with me is to go to Harper Collins (or Headline or Bloomsbury in the UK) and let them know you'd like an interview the next time I go on the road or head out to promote a new book (it'll be in September this year in the US, for Fragile Things). And then there will be a few days in which I'll do nothing but interviews.

Neil


(We emailed him back...)

Dear Mr. Gaiman,

Thank you for your quick response to our request for an interview.
We understand you must be overwhelmed by requests for Q&A sessions by various publications.
You mentioned you agreed to the Spanish magazine because you had not done a Spanish interview for awhile, so we thought perhaps you would agree to the following:
We could do the 10 question Q&A in Portuguese. While not native speakers, we are pretty handy with a Portuguese/English Dictionary, and in fact we are on very good terms with a Brazilian waiter.
If not Portuguese, perhaps you would consider Italian?
Perhaps Tosk-Albanian?
Luxembourgian? Low Saxon?
Peidmontese, Waloon, Basque or Klingon?

If any of these are a possibility, please let us know the language of your choice at your earliest convenience. We may need a few hours to prepare - Klingon speakers are a dime a dozen, but it’s very difficult to locate a native Wallonian in Boston.

Thank you for your time,
Editors, BBT Magazine


(He sent this response to our email)
I'll happily answer any interview questions
addressed to me in Meroitic, Proto-Elamite,
rongorongo, Zapotec or Isthmian scripts...

Neil



(We love a challenge...)

Dear Mr. Gaiman,

Thank you for this opportunity!
Imagine our relief when you so graciously consented to a Q&A in Meroitic. It happens we have on our staff a
Dr. Earl B. Morris, freelance forensic linguist, who specializes in the Meroitic language.
Please understand that due to the limitations of the language (one hardly wonders why it’s extinct) and the narrowness of the translations, the form of the questions may seem a bit odd.
We have included the phonetically and have taken the liberty of including a rough English translation for
our readers. 
Before publication we may talk to our waiter friend about a Portuguese translation as well.

For convenience sake, you are welcome to provide your answers in English.


Tenaciously yours, 
Lucien Spelman & Bill Kennedy-Smith
Editors, BBT Magazine


We cracked him. 


The result:
A Q&A with Neil in Meroitic, a dead language from the region of the Sudan. A few bits and pieces seem to have been lost in translation on his end, but he did the best he could.

Not everyone is a freelance forensic linguist like Earl.

Neil Gaiman truly is a man above men.


    Lucien Spelman,
Editor, BBT Magazine


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