# Lame outer space jokes



## GiantGreenBean (Apr 17, 2007)

My planet has an orbit inclination of 240 degrees lemonade.

That star sure has put on a lot of mass since I last saw him.

Young Star: Father, when will I spring into equillibrium with gravity and become an irregular variable star?

Now you invent your own.


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## Coolhand (Apr 17, 2007)

"Well Bob, from this starship I can clearly see Uranus. Pull your trousers up at once."

Okay SOMEONE had to say it, so I stepped up and took the bullet. Now you can all come up with witty non-uranus jokes.


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## JDP (Apr 18, 2007)

*Martian 1:* Garble schnarff werbble schnip?
*Martian 2:* Bettettechnip.
*Venusian Tourist:* Bettettechnip? Dargle pufpuf Betenschdidd!
*All:* *Laughter*



Well, the title of the thread did say 'lame'. What do you expect?


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## gully_foyle (Jun 5, 2007)

Two robots walk into a bar. One is a General Technics Model 454 Type 1, the other a General Technics Model 454 Type 2. They each ask the barman for a drink, but he only serves the first one. To the second he says, "I'm sorry sonny, but we don't serve your type."


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## Coolhand (Jun 5, 2007)

A Klingon, a Ferengi and a Borg all walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says...
"Is this some kind of joke?"


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## zorcarepublic (Jun 6, 2007)

Things you DON'T want to say on Babylon 5:

"Bonehead!" to a Minbari

"I bet you look stunning in purple" to a green Drazi

"I bet you look stunning in green" to a purple Drazi

"Spots are _so _last year" to a Narn

"Yeah, I'm a alien collaborator trying to enslave humanity" to a member of Nightwatch


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## Ragnar (Jun 6, 2007)

The worst SF joke ever has got to be the one about Captain Kirk having 3 ears.....


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## Nikitta (Jun 6, 2007)

Ragnar said:


> The worst SF joke ever has got to be the one about Captain Kirk having 3 ears.....


 
Tell it anyway.


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## gully_foyle (Jun 7, 2007)

Nikitta said:


> Tell it anyway.


I know it! How many ears does Kirk have? 3. A left ear, a right ear, and a final fronteir!


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## zorcarepublic (Jun 7, 2007)

Ragnar and gully_foyle, you have been found guilty of tasteless joke-telling of the first degree. The sentence for you is that you must go to live with the only species that has no sense of humour whatsoever for a period not less than 50 years.


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## Ragnar (Jun 7, 2007)

zorcarepublic said:


> Ragnar and gully_foyle, you have been found guilty of tasteless joke-telling of the first degree. The sentence for you is that you must go to live with the only species that has no sense of humour whatsoever for a period not less than 50 years.


 
Hang on.... if you look back up the thread, I didn't actually tell the joke I just alluded to it. I should at least receive a lighter sentence for 'aiding and abetting'... maybe have to live a species that only laugh at really lame sit-coms or something.


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## gully_foyle (Jun 7, 2007)

zorcarepublic said:


> Ragnar and gully_foyle, you have been found guilty of tasteless joke-telling of the first degree. The sentence for you is that you must go to live with the only species that has no sense of humour whatsoever for a period not less than 50 years.


No! Not Germany!  Please, I repent!


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## HoopyFrood (Jun 7, 2007)

gully_foyle said:


> I know it! How many ears does Kirk have? 3. A left ear, a right ear, and a final fronteir!



Is it bad that I actually quite liked this joke?



...There's no hope for me, is there?


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## Gothic_Angelica (Jun 10, 2007)

I thought all of them were funny


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## UltraCulture (Jun 11, 2007)

After the Americans went to the Moon, Leonid Brezhnev announced that the Soviets would be sending a man to the Sun.

The engineers objected. "If you send a man to the Sun, he will burn up!"

"What do you think I am, stupid?" he replied. "We'll send him at night!" 


guffaw


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## Joel007 (Jun 11, 2007)

I once left a password hint which was "Kirk's ear"
the password was "space"


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## JDP (Jun 25, 2007)

Not outer space based, but here's a really poor one I just came up with:

What did one hobbit say to the other whilst watching a Cheech and Chong remake of Dallas?
J.R. 'ar toking!


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## manephelien (Jun 25, 2007)

Not entirely original, I'm afraid...

What's the only thing left from a ship that got too close to a neutron star?
A star-mangled spanner!


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## lin robinson (Jun 27, 2007)

Your mama's so fat she has 9 smaller fat women in orbit around her.


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## Interference (Jul 4, 2007)

Ja Ja Binks


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## Who's Wee Dug (Jul 4, 2007)

*<Lame outer space jokes* >

Why, were they using crutches.


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## lin robinson (Jul 5, 2007)

No, wearing shimmering gold gowns.


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## Interference (Jul 9, 2007)

A borg called Hugh and a Dalek with emotions.


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## gully_foyle (Jul 17, 2007)

Why is a laser beam like a goldfish?


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## Joel007 (Jul 17, 2007)

Dunno, why?


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## zorcarepublic (Jul 19, 2007)

Ragnar said:


> Hang on.... if you look back up the thread, I didn't actually tell the joke I just alluded to it. I should at least receive a lighter sentence for 'aiding and abetting'... maybe have to live a species that only laugh at really lame sit-coms or something.


 
Okay, you both shall live with a species that laughs only at tasteless jokes that only people with a mental age of three would laugh at. 

Enjoy your stay...


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## Kasterborous (Jul 28, 2007)

Copernicus’s father: "Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around you."


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## Jon George (Jul 28, 2007)

JDP said:


> *Martian 1:* Garble schnarff werbble schnip?


 
*Matian 2:* You're drunk - I'll get 'em in.


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## Kasterborous (Jul 28, 2007)

gully_foyle said:


> Why is a laser beam like a goldfish?


Neither one can whistle.

Mycroft Holmes

And that ladies and gentlemen is why supercomputers should not be allowed to tell jokes.


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## lin robinson (Jul 28, 2007)

> Why is a laser beam like a goldfish?



They were both featured prominently on the last porn site I visited?


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## gully_foyle (Jul 29, 2007)

Kasterborous said:


> Neither one can whistle.
> 
> Mycroft Holmes
> 
> And that ladies and gentlemen is why supercomputers should not be allowed to tell jokes.


Correct answer. Someone give the Heinlein fan a cigar folks.


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## Vladd67 (Aug 2, 2007)

I know this is an old one but here goes
Luke Skywalker was fighting Darth Vader when Vader leans forward and says "I know what you have for Christmas". Luke ignores him and the fight continues. Vader says it again, Luke ignores him, He says it again, Luke has had enough, pushing Vader back he demands "how do you know what I have for Christmas" Vader advances on him and booms "I have felt your presents"
Sorry, ---shuffles off in disgrace---


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## HoopyFrood (Aug 2, 2007)

LOL! Oh, man, that made me chuckle.  

It's really wrong that I keep finding these hilarious, isn't it?


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## Moonbat (Aug 3, 2007)

I've onyl been here a week or so, and you've already created a thread about lame jokes. I love lame jokes. I love making up jokes that should be much funnier than they are and almost don't make sense like:

What do you get if you cross Dr spock with bottled water?
Vulcanicity

why couldn't the android on Star trek play like a child?
Cos he kept making a data base

What do you get when you cross a borg with Abba?
a Bjorn Borg

What do you get if you cross a Klingon?
A fight

what do you get if you cross a tweetie bird with a klingon?
Canary Wharf

anyway, most of these are even outer space jokes.

I do apologise


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## Joel007 (Aug 3, 2007)

It's just so.... wrong


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## lin robinson (Aug 3, 2007)

You are so... right.


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## zorcarepublic (Aug 7, 2007)

Moonbat said:


> What do you get if you cross Dr spock with bottled water?
> Vulcanicity


 
This one got a chuckle...


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## manephelien (Aug 7, 2007)

Not quite space, but SF:

Why is duct tape like the Force?

Both have a light side and a dark side, and they hold the universe together.


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## khatab (Sep 28, 2007)

You know what they say: Women are from Omicron Persia 7, Men are from Omicron Persia 9.

Uttered by the Female Alien in Futurama from Omicrin Persia 8..


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## JoanDrake (Jun 26, 2008)

zorcarepublic said:


> Okay, you both shall live with a species that laughs only at tasteless jokes that only people with a mental age of three would laugh at.
> 
> Enjoy your stay...


 
Vegas?....


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