# superhero showdown 3: Hulk vs superman



## Princess Ivy (Aug 15, 2005)

Hulk: mean green fighting machine. virtually indestructable force of rage and fury. he is super strong and almost invincible, but doesn't think.
Superman: the man of steel. able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, invulnerable, super strength, superspeed, can fly (i don't like him)
so who would win?


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## Culhwch (Aug 15, 2005)

Hmmm, don't really like either. So totally unbiased - Superman. Invulnerability - pick up the Hulk and fly him into orbit, see how that works out for the green one...


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 15, 2005)

although i don't really like them either, i dislike hulk the least,


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## Culhwch (Aug 15, 2005)

So how's he win?


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 15, 2005)

the hulk isn't intelligent enough to stop. he just keeps going while supes gets a bloody nose and stars round his head. also the hul kis green. not a good colour on the steel one


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## don sky (Aug 15, 2005)

As much as I dig the Hulk, Superman can think and that's one up on the green machine!
Also Superman is Superman always while the Hulk is only the Hulk as long as he's mad! This is sorta like that vampire vs Werewolves thing Where Clark Kent represents Vamps while Hulk represents the furry "Ones"! 
And just to comment, Clark's real weakness is Lois Lane/Lana Lang not that green stuff, Kryptonite!

Damn this was a tough one! My favourite is Hulk but Clark is almost equal in strength and can fly!


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 15, 2005)

don't strain babe, just remember that silly old ram, he managed to but a hole in the dam... the hulk could win, imho.


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## kyektulu (Aug 15, 2005)

I dont really like either of them either but I would go for superman.


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## Alia (Aug 15, 2005)

> the hulk isn't intelligent enough to stop. he just keeps going while supes gets a bloody nose and stars round his head. also the hul kis green. not a good colour on the steel one


 Your going to need a much stronger arguement than that... Superman will win hands down... Hulk will be blinded by rage and superman can out think him and can match his strenght...


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 15, 2005)

Superman's powers are intrinsic, so that might give him an edge. One strategy for Superman could be to use his charisma to make friends with the Hulk, and then pummel Hulk before he had a chance to get ticked off and ballon with mutant muscle tissue. The Hulk’s strategy could be to carry a Kriptonite rock in his front pocket.


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## Alia (Aug 15, 2005)

> The Hulk’s strategy could be to carry a Kriptonite rock in his front pocket.


 Do you think the hulk would be smart enough to know that Kriptonite is a weak spot for Superman?  I think not... let alone carry a piece of it in his pocket... Once into the rage Hulk doesn't think...


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 15, 2005)

Alia said:
			
		

> Hulk will be blinded by rage...


yea, Hulk is going down in a fit of blind rage.


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## Alia (Aug 15, 2005)

So glad we agree.


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 15, 2005)

Alia said:
			
		

> So glad we agree.


Hulk is gonna be smashed on the ground like a huge green ameoba with his head as the nucleus.


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## Boaz (Aug 16, 2005)

Boy, you don't know nothing. Superman is a cartoon. Hulk's a real guy. There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy.

PS - My apologies to _Stand By Me_.


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 17, 2005)

Boaz said:
			
		

> Superman is a cartoon. Hulk's a real guy.


...point taken. A cartoon can't beat up a person.


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## Quokka (Aug 17, 2005)

Has to be superman. He is one of the few superheros who's a superhero naturally with his Alias the everyday cover up. Batman, hulk, spiderman etc have to change _into_ their super persona , Superman has to change _out_ of it to pretend to be human. 

And the fact that he plays Clark Kent as such a weak, bumbling character says alot about what he really thinks of humans.


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## kaneda (Aug 17, 2005)

i can't stand superman. He's pathetically good. No dark side to him. not too keen on the hulk either, but at least he has his dark side (when he becomes green and the buttons pop open on his shirt ).

Anyway as for the poll, it would be superman who would win, he can fly, hes got strength, he can fly, hes an actual 'super'hero, did i mention he can fly? But i would cheer on the hulk lol


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 17, 2005)

Quokka said:
			
		

> ...Superman has to change _out_ of it to pretend to be human.
> 
> And the fact that he plays Clark Kent as such a weak, bumbling character says alot about what he really thinks of humans.


...yea, and this super powers thing could easily go to his head. He's in a position to really do some damage on human society, but instead chooses to be a one-man justice system.


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 18, 2005)

gee whizz, a costumed crusader. funny to think that our hero's of comicdom would be locked up in padded cells in this world.


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 18, 2005)

Princess Ivy said:
			
		

> gee whizz, a costumed crusader. funny to think that our hero's of comicdom would be locked up in padded cells in this world.


...you just gave me an idea for a kryptonite lined straitjacket


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 18, 2005)

, babe,go round trying to sell that and the cell just might have an android occupant. although it sounds like heaven to me right now. peace and quiet. not having to cook and some sleep for once... sigh....
btw: been meaning to ask: do you dream of electric sheep?


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 18, 2005)

Princess Ivy said:
			
		

> , babe,go round trying to sell that and the cell just might have an android occupant. although it sounds like heaven to me right now. peace and quiet. not having to cook and some sleep for once... sigh....
> btw: been meaning to ask: do you dream of electric sheep?


...electric sheep, yes. Pris be my girl...
Every house should have a padded room for down time. Everyone would be entitled to one hour of insanity per day.


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 18, 2005)

you have no idea babe, just how close to the bone that is, and so i'll leave it at that and got ot bed. good night.


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 18, 2005)

Princess Ivy said:
			
		

> you have no idea babe, just how close to the bone that is, and so i'll leave it at that and got ot bed. good night.


...no need for a straitjacket—its make-believe insanity.


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## Leto (Aug 18, 2005)

kaneda said:
			
		

> i can't stand superman. He's pathetically good. No dark side to him. not too keen on the hulk either, but at least he has his dark side (when he becomes green and the buttons pop open on his shirt ).


I hear you girl. 


			
				kaneda said:
			
		

> Anyway as for the poll, it would be superman who would win, he can fly, hes got strength, he can fly, hes an actual 'super'hero, did i mention he can fly? But i would cheer on the hulk lol


Super-speed too. Unless the Hulk is in his Maestro persona : Superman.


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy (Aug 19, 2005)

There's no way The Hulk can win this. They're from different universes (Marvel and DC), so I don't know if anyone has compiled specific relative stats, but all The Hulk really has is a lot of muscles and a bad temper tantrum going for him. Superman has super-strength, intelligence and a whole lot of other bells and whistles. The outcome is inevitable: Superman would win. 

Suoerman doesn't have a dark side? People haven't been paying attention to the last ten years of comics. Frankly, the way every comic is trying to be darker and grittier in the wake of Frank Miller et al, I actually derive a lot of comfort from escaping from Marvelesque superhero angst and reading some classic Curt Swan-illsutrated Superman stories. They're engagingly goofy and heroic.


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 19, 2005)

imho at least they have allowed these characters to grow up.


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy (Aug 19, 2005)

Maybe, but for instance, endless issues of Superman moaning over his troubled love life with Lois Lane, as had in the 90s, aren't growing up at all! They're just a symptom of the collective comic mentality moving from childhood, which is playful but not very logical, to adolescence, which is where all the angst and despair happens. 


Still, with the variety of titles the major superheroes appear in, some in mainline continuity and some in versions based on animated series, I think there's enough for you to read, whichever flavour of story you prefer. I do appreciate that comics have evolved in sophistication, with more complex characters and challenging storylines but I think angst and grit are too often mistaken for growing-up.


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 19, 2005)

i've never read superman, he's right up there with spidey for irritating hero's for me. i'm not much into batman either, he was to tortured for growth. However i did like the issues brought up in books like Hawk and Dove, and teams like the suicide squad, with all of their fun and lightheartedness (ok, so it was black humor, but i still enjoyed them).


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## Leto (Aug 19, 2005)

Princess, try to read Birds of Prey if you like the Batman universe. It's focusing mostly on Black Canary and Oracle (the former Batgirl) but it's written very intelligently with grown-up characters, full of wit, action and fun. Only mainstream DC I buy, but I buy it religiously.


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 19, 2005)

Superman does not need to be in costume in order to kick A; Hulk needs to get ticked off first—before he can even think of throwing a big green fist.


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## A1ien (Aug 19, 2005)

Boaz said:
			
		

> Superman is a cartoon. *Hulk's a real guy*.


 
Yes because ppl generally turn into green monsters.

Sorry i dont mean to be rude but that made me laugh


I think superman would definitely win. he could just hover out of hulksway while he thrashed around and shoot him with heat vision


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 19, 2005)

A1ien said:
			
		

> I think superman would definitely win. he could just hover out of hulksway while he thrashed around and shoot him with heat vision


...like that one. Roast Hulk with the heat ray until he looks like a huge broiled snot.


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## Salazar (Aug 22, 2005)

I think the Hulk is way cooler than Superman, but in a fight Superman is just to hard to beat! He only has very few weakness and the Hulk could not use them. 
Superman has to many powers! Bullet proof, super fast, super strenght and can fly!  
If you ask me that makes him too super, the bad guys can only use lead and kiptonite!


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy (Aug 22, 2005)

He's also vlunerable to magic. And with his boy-scout code of honour you could always kidnap one of his buddies and threaten to do terrible tbings to them, thereby tying Supes' hands.


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## polymorphikos (Aug 22, 2005)

Has anyone addressed the possibility of Bruce Banner laying an elaborate and fool-proof trap for Superman, then taking some form of aggrevating drug that would trigger his transformation, followed by the Hulk immediately going ape and thus facilitating whichever part of the aforementioned plan going ape was required for?


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## Leto (Aug 22, 2005)

polymorphikos said:
			
		

> Has anyone addressed the possibility of Bruce Banner laying an elaborate and fool-proof trap for Superman, then taking some form of aggrevating drug that would trigger his transformation, followed by the Hulk immediately going ape and thus facilitating whichever part of the aforementioned plan going ape was required for?


Or slipping into a brainier form of Hulk as Mr Fix-It ?





Could do. Especially since he would be brainy enough to use the Supes friend card... But he would still lacking raw strength and has no element to play on Superman known weaknesses.


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 25, 2005)

polymorphikos said:
			
		

> ...the possibility of Bruce Banner laying an elaborate and fool-proof trap for Superman...


...I'll go with "elaborate"—but "fool-proof"? Banner is dealing with Superman here—the epitome of truth, justice and the American way.


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 26, 2005)

knivesout said:
			
		

> He's also vlunerable to magic. And with his boy-scout code of honour you could always kidnap one of his buddies and threaten to do terrible tbings to them, thereby tying Supes' hands.


its his boyscout code of honour that ticks me off so badly. he is just to perfect. gnash teeth,  


			
				polymorphikos said:
			
		

> _Has anyone addressed the possibility of Bruce Banner laying an elaborate and fool-proof trap for Superman, then taking some form of aggrevating drug that would trigger his transformation, followed by the Hulk immediately going ape and thus facilitating whichever part of the aforementioned plan going ape was required for?_


_ problem is banner is a good guy, so his own moral code would prevent him from playing this card. sigh_
_but i still want the hulk to win!_


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 26, 2005)

Princess Ivy said:
			
		

> ...i still want the hulk to win!


...because Hulk is the underdog?


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## Princess Ivy (Aug 28, 2005)

because i can't stand supes


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## GOLLUM (Aug 28, 2005)

I think Superman would win because Hulk would not be able to sustain his anger for long periods of time and therfore loose his strength whilst Superman could continue hammering him...


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## cyborg_cinema (Aug 28, 2005)

GOLLUM said:
			
		

> ...Hulk would not be able to sustain his anger for long periods of time and therfore loose his strength...


...yea, and when people are angry they tend to make mistakes.


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 3, 2005)

Princess Ivy said:
			
		

> ...so who would win?


...Hulk would end up a huge mound of green hamburger.


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## Rosemary (Sep 3, 2005)

Oh yuk That's a positive way of putting me off hamburgers!!

Superman would certainly beat the *shudder* Hulk.  Superman has patience, he also has a great mental capacity which the Hulk lacks.  Hulk would loose his cool and just charge in, fists flying.  Superman can fly at the speed of a bullet while Hulk can only lumber around.

No real showdown at all!


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 3, 2005)

Rosemary said:
			
		

> That's a positive way of putting me off hamburgers!!


...if you mix onions in with the patties, it's not bad—though slightly gamy.


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## sanityassassin (Sep 3, 2005)

I don't dislike the hulk but superman would have to win and i really dispise him all these powers and he still looks like a twat


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 3, 2005)

sanityassassin said:
			
		

> I don't dislike the hulk but superman would have to win and i really dispise him all these powers and he still looks like a twat


...yea, Superman always reverts to a mild mannered geek.


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## Rosemary (Sep 3, 2005)

cyborg_cinema said:
			
		

> ...yea, Superman always reverts to a mild mannered geek.


 
Do you really think so?  I was never really sure about that!


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 3, 2005)

Rosemary said:
			
		

> Do you really think so?


*yes*


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## kyektulu (Sep 3, 2005)

*I think that superman was a bit of a geek too. However, he was better this way it appeals to more people.
The picture compliments your statement perfectly. 
*


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## sanityassassin (Sep 3, 2005)

I think he was a bigger geek as superman


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## Rosemary (Sep 3, 2005)

sanityassassin said:
			
		

> I think he was a bigger geek as superman


Not surprised dear, anybody who wears their underpants on the outside must be a geek!!


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 3, 2005)

...Clark uses his x-ray vision at the office—the perv.


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## Rosemary (Sep 3, 2005)

cyborg_cinema said:
			
		

> ...Clark uses his x-ray vision at the office—the perv.


 
That's sexual harrasment   I hope he hasn't been able to teach any of the other guys how to do that!


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## kyektulu (Sep 3, 2005)

*Rosemary if men can have X ray vision it is only fair that women can too!

 Im first in the queue. lol *


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## Rosemary (Sep 3, 2005)

*Brilliant idea!  I'm right beside you on this one!! *


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 4, 2005)

Rosemary said:
			
		

> Brilliant idea!


...a superman has x-ray vision because he can handle it. Are you sure you can handle it?


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## sanityassassin (Sep 4, 2005)

with great power comes great responsability 


ooops that was spiderman


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## Rosemary (Sep 4, 2005)

cyborg_cinema said:
			
		

> ...a superman has x-ray vision because he can handle it. Are you sure you can handle it?


 
The ever optomistic Rosey would reply - OF COURSE


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## kyektulu (Sep 4, 2005)

*I could handle it cyborg_cinema I am quite wordly despite my lack of years... 
*


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 5, 2005)

kyektulu said:
			
		

> I could handle it cyborg_cinema...


...x-men mutants with x-ray vision should take anger management courses.


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 6, 2005)




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## terryweide (Sep 14, 2005)

Just happened to see this thread, and I have to admit there's some good chuckles in it...

In regards to the "geek" issue, let us recall that the Hulk's alter ego, Bruce Banner, was often depicted as the proverbial 90 pound weakling or milksop. Therefore I'd say that it would be a toss up in Bruce Banner vs. Clark Kent showdown of geekiness.

Also, there's one issue that doesn't usually get touched on in discussions like thiis, and that is speed. Superman (and the Silver Surfer is another such character), at least the old Superman, was said to be able to fly at faster than light speed. In the old comics, Superman was shown flying between galaxies under his own power. Yes, the Hulk might be able to match Superman in terms of strength, but if a character like Superman or the Surfer is moving at anything approaching their full speed, and they hit a slower moving character, even one of immense strength, I would assume the character moving at light speed would go right through his or her opponent.

Also, in the slug fest depicted above, if Superman is that fast, why is Superman lettting the Hulk hit him in the first place? The only reason, of course, is to please the fans. Put it like this: If I can move at light speed and my opponent can't, I'll just hit him 10,000 or so times before he even starts to move, and we'll see who wins.

Well, those are just my opinions. Terry, over and out...


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## dreamwalker (Sep 16, 2005)

terryweide said:
			
		

> I would assume the character moving at light speed would go right through his or her opponent.


 Hahahahah (continues to giggle)
(breathes)
I'm sure the guys at http://www.advancedphysics.org/ would have something to say about that. (something along the lines of, matter loses all coheision, the stong forces that hold moluclues together cease to function and super man turns into atomic goo be the time he reaches the hulk)!
"Maybe the force that keeps his costume from ripping to streads at super sonic speed keeps his molecules together when he goes galaxy hoping, at FTL (faster than light) speeds" Ahahahaha
Sumerban wins, ehem, superman, with FTL travel or not, (heat ray, heat ray!!)


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## Tim Bond (Sep 16, 2005)

they would both lose - 
i would use the comics for cleaning windows or worse.
if worth anything i would sell them for sure.

but, if someone is tough and moves at light speed -------------- 
that 'wins' if anything would.

if the guy --- superman --- shoots lasers, can fly, is super strong, and tough as the strongest steel, and blows hurricanes out his lungs, and can move at the speed of light, don't forget super senses, and hardly needing to breath or stay warm/cool or anything. 

why have comics, he could defeat/save anyone hands down long before anyone could even blink and many times over at that.he would never really have any challenges.


unless what happens is that he gets really bored of his own superness 
and 'just lets things go' at normal speed 'just to see what they all do'. 
maybe he secretly enjoys the look of terror on the faces of the people who he needs to save but decides to be a little less than light-speed with it all. for all his goodness - he could begin to resent all the 'needs' of the people on his life - with all the 'important' emergencies and all.

or 
maybe he likes to let his opponent with super strength feel he might 'one-day' accomplish a victory 'if he just could try hard enough' during a fight - instead of just ending it all quick like he could - just to bolster his opponents self-confidence a little before he crushes him completely and so that if not crushed egowise the ‘badman’ at least tries again in a predictable strong-arm test-your-strength fashion.

superman could be super jaded
he could be super-moral/good out of nothing more than boredom


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 16, 2005)

..."faster than a speeding bullet"—Superman would blow a huge hole through Hulk's chest cavity. Flying so fast—he would be visible—with his fists cutting through the air. A steaming slab of green flesh. A superman clenching a green elephant heart.


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## Rosemary (Sep 16, 2005)

cyborg_cinema said:
			
		

> ..."faster than a speeding bullet"—Superman would blow a huge hole through Hulk's chest cavity. Flying so fast—he would be visible—with his fists cutting through the air. A steaming slab of green flesh. A superman clenching a green elephant heart.


Do you actually pay money to read or view the films of Superman or The Hulk?  

I think Superman would win - more brains than brawn for a start.  I didn't realise that he was so bloodythirsty, cyborg. 


I like this idea though dreamwalker -
"Maybe the force that keeps his costume from ripping to streads at super sonic speed keeps his molecules together when he goes galaxy hoping, at FTL (faster than light) speeds"


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## Princess Ivy (Sep 17, 2005)

other showdowns continue in the graphic novels board


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## terryweide (Sep 17, 2005)

Tim Bond said:
			
		

> why have comics, he could defeat/save anyone hands down long before anyone could even blink and many times over at that.he would never really have any challenges.


 
That's why they invented kryptonite--so it would appear he wasn't unbeatable.



			
				Tim Bond said:
			
		

> unless what happens is that he gets really bored of his own superness
> and 'just lets things go' at normal speed 'just to see what they all do'.
> maybe he secretly enjoys the look of terror on the faces of the people who he needs to save but decides to be a little less than light-speed with it all. for all his goodness - he could begin to resent all the 'needs' of the people on his life - with all the 'important' emergencies and all.
> 
> ...


 
This is pretty funny--it's also probably true. Terry


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## terryweide (Sep 17, 2005)

P.S. The Hulk's best chance for winning? Hope the gamma radiation that gives him strength acts as a form of kryptonite (after all, Hulk is usually green) and it weakens the "man of steel." Or if gray, hope the "gray" gamma radiation has the same effect as red kryptonite, causing Superman to undergo a weird transformation such as suddenly becoming a baby. I'd say the Hulk might be able to defeat a baby Superman, if said baby didn't crawl away at light speed.

Terry


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## Tim Bond (Sep 18, 2005)

freaky baby!

he still might beat the hulk, if he was hungry


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## mikeo (Sep 18, 2005)

Tim Bond said:
			
		

> if the guy --- superman --- shoots lasers, can fly, is super strong, and tough as the strongest steel, and blows hurricanes out his lungs, and can move at the speed of light, don't forget super senses, and hardly needing to breath or stay warm/cool or anything.
> 
> why have comics, he could defeat/save anyone hands down long before anyone could even blink and many times over at that.he would never really have any challenges.



And this is exactly why I never saw the point in reading Superman - as Terryweide said, they had to invent kryptonite just to make him vaguely interesting. Even that was at least kicked back when (from what I recall) Superman did something or other to destroy all the kryptonite on the Earth.

So anyway, Superman would win, and he'd be boring while he did it. He'd celebrate his victory with a small glass of fat-free milk and a pompous speech about eating your vegetables and getting enough sleep.

The only time I liked having Superman in a comic was in Frank Miller's "The Dark Knight Returns."


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 18, 2005)

Rosemary said:
			
		

> I didn't realise that he was so bloodythirsty, cyborg.


...not bloodthirsty, just pissed.

SkepJ previously mentioned how Superman would fly in a circle above Hulk—aiming his x-ray vision down at the giant snot.


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## cyborg_cinema (Sep 18, 2005)

terryweide said:
			
		

> ...90 pound weakling or milksop...


..."milksop", now that's a good one  Bruce probably had enough sand kicked into his eyes.


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## terryweide (Sep 19, 2005)

Just call me General "Thuderbolt" Ross. "Where's that milksop, Banner anyway? Bah! What does my daughter see in him? Why doesn't she go out with a real man like Glen Talbot?"

Heh, heh, heh... Terry


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## Rosemary (Sep 19, 2005)

cyborg_cinema said:
			
		

> ...not bloodthirsty, just pissed.


Well that's even worse then  Not even a little trace of Vampire in him?  Oh what a shame


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