# Avoid These Movies At All Costs!



## don sky

It has come to my attention that there are some movie makers who have decided to create hrrible movies and mask them with awesome titles and interesting sounding plots! So I believe it is our duty to alert other members of this forum and the public at large to these awful excuses for movies!
For now, my list has;

Dracula 3000 (starring of all people, "Coolio"!)   
Chronos (I cant believe its the same guy that did Hellboy) 
Any others?


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## Brian G Turner

Ack!

Armageddon - now there's an utterly pointless film.

Think Deep Impact is the other - seem to remember watching that simply for the impact, which simply takes up about 30 seccs at the end of a long charade of human drama.


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## GOLLUM

Yep Deep Impact was very insubstantial.

BUT Battlefield Earth would have to be the worst Sci Fi film in fact make that film, I've probably seen YIKES!!


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy

I'd have to second Armageddon and Deep Impact. The problem with both movies was the human aspect -the characters were terribly shallow and cliched, and in Armageddon especially the human story was so transparently manipulative, not to mention way too unlikely - I really doubt theose people would seriously have been trusted with a mission to save the world in reality, and they adapt to working in space way too fast. Real life astronauts need a lot of training before they can undertake space missions. These people are pretty much picked up off their oil rig and hurled into space. In Deep Impact, the characters are Grisham/Crichton style cut-outs and again the human aspects of the story are too palpably manipulative. 


Another movie to avoid is Basic, starring John Travolta and Samuel L Jackson. Travolta revisits familiar territory as a military investigator looking into the death of an officer duriing training exercises. Jackson also simply reprises his big badass persona. The story twists, and twists, and twists again the silliest display of pointless re-complication since Wild Things, and ends with a nauseatingly heart-warming ending that makes you suddenly, horrifyingly, realise that all those twists were not some ironic ploy - the movie makers really thought they were making a complex, rivetting movie! Wafer-thin characters again and the stars simply phone their performances in. Of the supporting cast, the less said the better.


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## Winters_Sorrow

I'll nominate Pearl Harbour for this tripe-fest.

Michael Bay & Bennifer at their worst, taking a story about human sacrifice and turning it into a soft-core porno for the next US army recruitment campaign.

Avoid.....or better still, buy as a christmas present for your Vogon in-laws or people you hold a grudge against.
If you _received_ this as a present, be warned!


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## ravenus

> Dracula 3000 (starring of all people, "Coolio"!)


Dracula 3000 is a cool title?


> Chronos (I cant believe its the same guy that did Hellboy)


Even I couldn't...in a good way. *Cronos* (not *Chronos*, to be precise) was a fairly innovative take on the vampire genre with a nice mix of humor and sympathy with the horror aspects. It got somewhat muddled towards the end and I'm a bit troubled by the unusually calm attitude with which the little girl takes her grandfather's descent into vampirism, but it was still far away from the FX overblown, corn&tripe-laden fanboy appeasing borefest that was *Hellboy*.
That was hell, boy 

Anyway you shoud be happy now because Cronos was made before HB so it represents an improvement by Guillermo del Toro to Blade 2 and Hellboy.


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## ravenus

> Armageddon especially the human story was so transparently manipulative, not to mention way too unlikely - I really doubt theose people would seriously have been trusted with a mission to save the world in reality, and they adapt to working in space way too fast. Real life astronauts need a lot of training before they can undertake space missions. These people are pretty much picked up off their oil rig and hurled into space.


Damn. I'm sure the people behind the film will feel extremely hurt at your lack of appreciation for their dedication to verisimilitude 

Armageddon was made for people who like to see lots of pointless explosions and guys talking all macho...and it succeeded immensely with its target audience. You should save the criticisms for the pretentious films like *Ghostworld* and *Signs* which try to fool their audiences into believing that they are something other than uninspired turds.


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy

Signs was total idiocy, too. Another example of simply relying on twists, without realising that the story has to be twisted into something interesting!


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## Wolfeborn

Lost in translation If i wanted to see a documnetary about some anoying bloke on holiday id watch dicovery home and leisure or travelshop or something, arg this film was totaly pointless, I have never seen a film where soo little happens the only redeaming scences are when bill murray is beeing mildy funy. ahhh dont watch this film its terrible,.

You could ay that this is an insight into the lives of 2 peiople who find friendship and could have had more but were too scared/ different to find it, in a similar way to casablanca only problem is it is done in sucha dull lacluster way I still to this day can not beleive i sat through this.
though granted its not a sci fi movie but thought id whack it in as one of the all time worst movies ever.


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## Leto

As Lost in translation is not SF&F no problem with it.

I second Armageddon (I even try to get a refund of my ticket mid-projection as it was so bad), and would have add Reign of Fire in the mix and most Night M Shamalayan movies. Don't understand all the buzz around his movies, so ridiculously previsible.


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## cyborg_cinema

knivesout said:
			
		

> ...Armageddon...the characters were terribly shallow and cliched, and in Armageddon especially...


...agreed.

I think that was due to camp effect. A mission to land on an astroid to drill holes seems ridiculous. Sending mostly oil rig drilling specialists seems even more ridiculous.


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## dreamwalker

Leto said:
			
		

> ....most Night M Shamalayan movies. Don't understand all the buzz around his movies, so ridiculously previsible.


I thought Unbreakable was really well done, good story/acting/direction and twist... IMHO


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## dreamwalker

I also liked armeggedon, 
any film where Paris gets annalihated with such style gets the thumbs up from me, in all honestly I probably watched the film so many times for that one part.

The neverending story on the other hand...
Any film that ends in 'oh, it was a dream... or was it?' should be boycotted from screening, anywhere.


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## cyborg_cinema

dreamwalker said:
			
		

> ...Unbreakable...


...I liked it too. That fight scene where Bruce Willis was used to make holes in the drywall was memorable. A more believable superman; less like the comic strip takeoffs we're used to seeing.


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## Leto

@dreamwalker : another proof stupidity has no border ?


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## Alia

> Armageddon - now there's an utterly pointless film.
> 
> Think Deep Impact is the other - seem to remember watching that simply for the impact, which simply takes up about 30 seccs at the end of a long charade of human drama.


 I AGREE!!!! Armageddon was a waste of time!!!! I think it was the worse of the two...




> most Night M Shamalayan movies.


 I enjoy his twists!!! I love his movies, those I've seen so far.

Here's one to add to the list... Cursed.  It was a bit much when the werewolf gives Christina Ricci the middle finger...


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## Leto

To each one it's own taste, but frankly he never surprised me, even with "6th sense". As soon as the kid (a talented one) says : "I see dead people", you can turn out the TV, all is there and evident. 
Same with the Village : which sane father would let her blind girl walk into such a forest ? 
In the same kind of twist, I've found Usual Suspect by Bryan Singer much more innovative.


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## Alia

lol... I can add one more movie to that list of 'avoid these movies at all cost'  ~ The Army of Darkness.


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## ajdecon

Alia said:
			
		

> lol... I can add one more movie to that list of 'avoid these movies at all cost'  ~ The Army of Darkness.



Hey!  Army of Darkness was actually pretty fun, as long as you didn't go into it expecting a horror movie.  The total campiness and silliness were purely intentional; I think it was made to be a bad movie to laugh at.  

IMHO it achieves its goal much better than Evil Dead (which it was a sequel to), which was supposed to be a real horror movie but didn't achieve the goal.  Which is probably why Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi decided to go campy later...


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## Trey Greyjoy

LOL! Yeah, AoD is supposed to be a "so bad its good". There are some great lines in there. 
Klatu...Veratu....uh.....


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## Green

Ok, this thread raises the question:

If a movie is expected to be bad, but it exceeds those expectations, does that make it good?

In the pro corner... I thought Sky Captain would be utterly dire, but it wasn't. Hence, I was pleasantly surprised (even though it was still bad).

In the con corner... Army of Darkness was pretty good if you weren't expecting a horror. But it was actually not very good at all.

So - which is more accurate? Does low expectations = better movie, or is class a non-arbitrary thing?

Answers on a postcard...

EDIT - in fact (while I'm in rant mode), is there anyone else that thinks the whole "it's so bad it's funny" argument, when applied to most films (specifically crappy, dubbed martial ats films), just doesn't wash? I mean, in my opinion, if it's bad, it's bad.


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## cyborg_cinema

Green said:
			
		

> Army of Darkness was pretty good if you weren't expecting a horror.


...AoD is one of those movies that is probably better while under the influence—it had its moments. Seems like they were shooting for camp horror.


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## dreamwalker

Depends if it was suppost to be...
It's like watching a porn film, the acting, diagolue and direction isn't exactly gunna be oscar worthy, but people still buy them 
^^btw Arguement isn't exactly solid, but its just and example. There are so many people out there who do go to see a film, for the cheesiness, there favorite actor/ress, the gun battle, explosion etc.

It's kinda strange the way this works thou. A film comes out, lets say pearl harbour. Guns, explosons, death and carnage, the people who know they wouldn't like it don't see it, whilst the people who do, go and see the film and say its 'Ace'. The none watchers catach wind of so many good reviews from friends and with so few bad reviews, there pritty much suckered into watching the film.
So the net result is they had higher expectations (from all the good reviews) +they where suckered into seeing it, so they hate the film more....
Leaving people like us, to list them in forums like these.
XD
I wanna add 'ET'


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## kyektulu

*Yes lost in translation watching that film wasted an hour and a half of my life!!!

The Core.
The Butterfly effect.
The descent.
Mrs Doubtfire.
War Of The Worlds.

If I think of more will let you know my brain is not working tonight I am too tired it is 2am...
*


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## Trey Greyjoy

well, the thing about Army of Darkness is I laughed my back end off at the Evil Dead movies and laughed even harder at AoD. I wouldnt recommend them to anyone, but I enjoyed them. 
I surprised at the Lost in Translation response. Bill Murray must be an acquired taste. I love him and enjoyed the movie. Was it all the hype said it was? No. But I enjoyed it all the same. 
English Patient however...........there was 10 & 1/2 hours of my life I want back. But others say its the best movie of all time. So go figure. 
In so far as sci-fi movies go, people on the board seem to love X3. I tried to watch it twice and fell asleep both times. My wife actually got up and walked out of the room she couldnt take it anymore. So its all in perspective. The thing to consider is a movie a tanker even judged by its genre? 
and yeah, the Butterfly Effect was lousy.


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## Trey Greyjoy

dreamwalker said:
			
		

> I wanna add 'ET'


 
ET? 
E.T. the extraterrestrial by Steven Spielberg? 
Must be avoided at all costs? 
Maybe its a generational thing, cause youre gonna have several hundered million people argue that statement.  
_(well, at the very least 10's of millions!  )_


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## cyborg_cinema

Trey Greyjoy said:
			
		

> ET?


...yea, depends on who is renting it. Do they want to walk away with a warm, fuzzy feeling? ...if so, they should throw their hard earned money at _E.T._ But those who rent _Aliens_ are in it for a different reason.


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## Alia

> well, the thing about Army of Darkness is I laughed my back end off at the Evil Dead movies and laughed even harder at AoD. I wouldnt recommend them to anyone, but I enjoyed them.


 It's one of those movies I would not admit to watching all the way through it was so bad... with it's stupid one liners "give me some sugar baby" and 'that's just pillow talk'... come on... *rolls eyes*
But in my house I am the only one who dislikes the show... I'm out numbered... not only do we own it (which I have tried many times to get rid of, unsuccessfully) but it's watched everytime it comes on the TV... 


And Kyektulu... I really didn't like the B_utterfly Effect_ at all either.


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## dreamwalker

Trey Greyjoy said:
			
		

> ET?
> E.T. the extraterrestrial by Steven Spielberg?
> Must be avoided at all costs?
> Maybe its a generational thing, cause youre gonna have several hundered million people argue that statement.
> _(well, at the very least 10's of millions!  )_


Go through my arguement again, and you'll see the irony in your statement...


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## ajdecon

Green said:
			
		

> in fact (while I'm in rant mode), is there anyone else that thinks the whole "it's so bad it's funny" argument, when applied to most films (specifically crappy, dubbed martial ats films), just doesn't wash? I mean, in my opinion, if it's bad, it's bad.



The way I see it, the "so bad it's funny" argument works when the movie is so stereotypical that it manages to parody itself and its genre--intentionally or unintentionally.  For example, Army of Darkness was fun partly because it included so many horror/fantasy movie cliches (the heroic quest, a magic book, an army of the dead and demonic possession) in such a way that you could no longer take them seriously.  Afterwards, a true camp gem can affect your perception of other movies; to this date, any movie with the resurrected dead makes me flash to the dancing skeletons, and I have to say "This is my boomstick!" when primitive natives in a movie see guns.

That's where I see the distinction.  A bad movie makes you groan while you watch it; but a "so bad it's good" movie makes you groan, or laugh maniacally, even when you see the same ideas in good movies.


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## McMurphy

*Chronicles of the Ridiculous Amount of Times One Can Take On/Off Goggles*

I would have to add The Chronicles of Riddick. I mean, how many times did we need to see the title character pose before taking on or off his goggles? The fact that it was a sequel to a little science fiction film I had defended to others for so many years certainly didn't help. Riddick is not even remotely as good as Pitch Black; regardless of whether or not the subgenre of the film is different than the original.

I feel the problem is that the (supposed) trilogy started off as a different type of film to be categorized with, for example, Alien. Now, I don't believe that Pitch Black deserves to be on the same level of greatness as Alien, but it pitted a small group against some archetypal alien fears of humans, nevertheless. Chronicles of Riddick tried to, on the surface, morph itself into an expansive science fiction tale much like Dune. I have a feeling that, just below the surface, the project was more about stroking someone's ego. Hint: check out who was the executive producer.


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## Winters_Sorrow

Trey Greyjoy said:
			
		

> In so far as sci-fi movies go, people on the board seem to love X3. I tried to watch it twice and fell asleep both times. My wife actually got up and walked out of the room she couldnt take it anymore.


 
X3?
Which movie is that?


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## Leto

Supposed it's X2 (X-men 2). As X3 hasn't started yet *mumbles* can't they hurry up ? *mumbles*


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## Winters_Sorrow

I'm dreading it now to be honest.
Vinnie Jones as the Juggernaut?
Words fail me.....polite words anyway.


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## Trey Greyjoy

Winters_Sorrow said:
			
		

> X3?
> Which movie is that?


 
My bad, X2 was what I meant.  I hate it when I do things like that.


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## Quokka

I went to see _Fear _at the cinema years ago with a group of friends and to date it's the only movie I've walked out on. Thank god I was a smoker at the time as it gave me an excuse to get some respite.

The first Star Trek movie is pretty bad as well. Very, very slow moving, fair enough they finally had the money to do some special effects but who decided 10 minutes of panning across the ship in dock was a good idea.


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## Leto

Winters_Sorrow said:
			
		

> I'm dreading it now to be honest.
> Vinnie Jones as the Juggernaut?
> Words fail me.....polite words anyway.


As long as Chuck Austen don't write the script... Is it confirmed Stacy-X will be one of the characters ?


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## Alysheba

Alien VS Preditor A total waste of time. 

Lost In Translation I must admit it bored me to tears.

Yu-Gi-Oh I was dragged to this by my Sister. Her son begged her to see it and she didn't want to be the only one to suffer. She's lucky I like her. It was like a poker game on acid.


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## Los Marilos

I can't believe no one's mentioned *Space Truckers* yet. It's the only film I've seen where I've fallen asleep part way through, even though I was wide awake. And my brother says it's the on;y review he's ever seen on http://www.rottentomatoes.com with 0%. Please avoid this movie at ALL_COSTS!


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## dreamwalker

Alysheba said:
			
		

> Yu-Gi-Oh I was dragged to this by my Sister. Her son begged her to see it and she didn't want to be the only one to suffer. She's lucky I like her. It was like a poker game on acid.


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## Alysheba

I have to add one. Boogeyman. Oh my God it was horrible. Someone told me it was scary. It was far from it. Coming home from work and seeing my 300 pound Aunt fry chicken in her bra in my kitchen. Now THAT was scary. Maybe I should make a movie about that.


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## don sky

Alysheba said:
			
		

> I have to add one. Boogeyman. Oh my God it was horrible. Someone told me it was scary. It was far from it. Coming home from work and seeing my 300 pound Aunt fry chicken in her bra in my kitchen. Now THAT was scary. Maybe I should make a movie about that.


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## Thadlerian

Allow me to add: Atlantis, the Disney cartoon.

Not only is the plot predictable and thin, it is also slightly racist. And it's a rip-off of several (substantially better) animes, like Castle in the Sky and Princess Mononoke.

And the rendering (CGI) looks goddamn cheap.


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## Pyan

I'd like to add Van Helsing. Talk about CGI overload....


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## don sky

pyanfaruk said:
			
		

> I'd like to add Van Helsing. Talk about CGI overload....


Elektra! Daredevil was better though it was a bad flick as well!


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## Los Marilos

don sky said:
			
		

> Elektra! Daredevil was better though it was a bad flick as well!


 
Daredevil was not a bad flick, just misunderstood. Just because it wasn't as fast and furious as some comic book films doesn't make it crap. The same goes for Hulk.

Constantine, on the other hand, was dull.


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## bendoran

i have to say i really enjoyed lost in translation.

van helsing stunk, big time. sixth sense, theres one overrated piece of drivel, oh look its a fountain in some square, and the clouds go by..... yawn!! 

revenge of the sith - poo.

swat- s**t (do the math)

resident evil- oh dear no.

anything by uwe bol.

A.I - why spielberg why???


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## ravenus

> Daredevil was not a bad flick, just misunderstood


If the makers of DD wanted people to take it seriously they should have got a better actor than Ben Afflicted. But then DD was never one of my fav comic characters so my opinion is likely not a good indicator.


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## ravenus

Please avoid...*Ghostworld*.One of those movies that managed an astounding amount of hype given how badly it sucks...about a dumb pretentious girl who should've been happy that people ignore her instead of lynching her for intolerable stupidity.

*From Hell*...supposedly based on the Alan Moore comic series. This movie has an absolutely terrific scene with *Ian Holm*...the only problem is that this scene comes at the very end of a very boring movie. Johnny Dope gives a lethally dull performance that, paired with his turn in *Sleepy Hollow*, represents the only prescription that any insomniac needs. *Heather Graham* plays the only prossie in the West End that doesn't have a Cockney accent and venereal disease. The *Hughes Bros* made a big deal about how they painstakingly recreated the scene of each murder from archival records...too bad they didn't spend some of that energy in providing a more gripping onscreen narrative and more interesting characters.


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## polymorphikos

I really enjoyed _Ghostworld_. It wasn't a perfect film, but it was an excellent little probe into youth culture and the gap between reality and our expectations. Which is why the dumb pretention was important.

I'll agree on _From Hell_, however. Many parts of it were painful to watch, and it couldn't even succeed by dropping the Moore baggage and trying to be an entertaining stand-alone, unlike LXG.


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## Princess Ivy

Green said:
			
		

> EDIT - in fact (while I'm in rant mode), is there anyone else that thinks the whole "it's so bad it's funny" argument, when applied to most films (specifically crappy, dubbed martial ats films), just doesn't wash? I mean, in my opinion, if it's bad, it's bad.


to me it depends on the film, some are just bad. eg: attak of the killer tomatoes (yes, i've actually watched it) was voted the worst movie of all time and was screened to be funny. but it was just bad. Catwoman on the other hand was hysterical. i watched it with my mother, brother in law and his girlfriend. the bil and girlfriend didn't know what to do as my mother and i were laughing our heads off.
I liked Armagedon, sorry, but i did. i even cried at the wedding scene. it was so schmaltzy. 
Signs was horribly bad. i was expecting something really good.
deep impact was terrible. i cheered when the tidal wave swept the planet.
resident evil, was jut bad
but for me the ultimate in things i won't watch becasue it looks so terrible, Titanic, after all i know how it ends, the boat sinks! honestly!
I'd also like to add any movie in which people eat each other (Alive springs to mind) and most sequels!


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## Niolani

_Long Time Dead_, _Cut_, _Battlefield Earth_, _Son of the Mask_, _Catwoman_ (unless you want to laugh your arse off), _Birthday Girl_, _The Interpreter_, _Abandoned_, _The Hills Have Eyes_, _Spice Girls movie_, _House of Wax_ (unless you want to laugh at Paris Hilton), _Poison Ivy_, *?* can't remember the name of it but it had Claudia Schiffer in it, _Showgirls_, _Triple X_ (I think that's it's name, it has Vin Diesel in it), _The Fifth Element_, _Fire Walk With Me_ (the _Twin Peaks_ movie - what the f?), _Schizo_, _Shriek_ (also stars Coolio), _Scary Movie 3_, _21 Grams_, _Serenity_- huge disapointment, _Back to the Future 2 & 3_, _The Neverending Story 2 & 3_, _Mission to Mars_, _Contact_, _Van Wilder_, _Loser_, _Simon Says_ - absolute stinker (stars Dennis Rodman), _Color of Night_ (unless you want to see Bruce Willis' "bruce"), movies based on John Grisham books- too formulaic, _F.A.R.T- The Movie_ (so dissapointing!), there are so many.


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## kyektulu

*I wopuld personally reccomend people never watch:


 Long time dead
 Dumb & Dumber, the lot
 Bless this child
 Cable guy
 The ring 2
 Pitch Black
 House of wax
 signs
 Stigmata
 Romy & Michelles... was forced to watch this by a friend (some mate!)
 Elektra
 Catwoman
 Matrix, sorry dislike them all.
 Blade 3
 Deep Impact
 Titanic
 Signs
 Lost in Translation. ????????????? WHY??????
 The village
 The Dreamcatcher, proof Steven King has lost it.*


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## Leto

kyektulu said:
			
		

> *
> The Dreamcatcher, proof Steven King has lost it.*


The book was a proof enough


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## kyektulu

*Yes it most probably was Leto I gave up on Kings books quite a while ago. 
*


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## Arkangel

A bunch of cynics having good time being movie critics


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## Leto

Arkangel said:
			
		

> A bunch of cynics having good time being movie critics


There's other reasons to watch movies ???


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## Arkangel

Not many to my knowledge


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## Spook

Taipan 
Raise the Titanic 
Mortal Kombat II (What the Hell is up with Raidens wig?)
American Ninja (... all five of them) 
Battlefield Earth
Ghosts of Mars (When good Goths go bad!)


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## Esioul

I didn't mind Lost in Translation.

Battlefield Earth really was very bad- my brother and I rented it from the videoshop, and about an hour in, we asked, 'When will the story start?'

Titanic- really don't like this one.


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## Niolani

I forgot to add Freddy vs Jason and Halloween Resurection, to kill off Laurie Strode is a terrible thing.


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## amara

Both Spidermans werent that good in my opinion, kind of cheap thrills.  Mars Attacks was pretty moronic, well the parts I saw of it.  The Others was terribly disappointing.  I didnt really get all the hype about A Beautiful Mind (it was about something totally different then what i thought).  NEVER watch Chicago!  Pretty much any horror movie you watch now is crap, just some murderer that goes around mindlessly killing people and wouln't die (they dont end up being scary anyways, just funny, i like to try and predict who will die and when).  The Forgotten was extremly dissapointing.  

I could probably think of more, given some time, but i dont think you want an essay and i dont really care to think about it any longer!


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## Kerayi

Winters_Sorrow said:
			
		

> I'll nominate Pearl Harbour for this tripe-fest.
> 
> Michael Bay & Bennifer at their worst, taking a story about human sacrifice and turning it into a soft-core porno for the next US army recruitment campaign.
> 
> Avoid.....or better still, buy as a christmas present for your Vogon in-laws or people you hold a grudge against.
> If you _received_ this as a present, be warned!


 
OMG! i completely agree with you 

i actually ask ppl whether they like this movie to see whether we have similar film tastes, lol.


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## angrybuddhist

The last three Star Wars movies were unmitigated crap!


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## Thadlerian

You may want to avoid The Brothers Grimm. Overambitious, predictable and positively unfunny. 
You won't miss anything.


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## Marky Lazer

You definately want to miss The Grudge.


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## Alysheba

Marky Lazer said:
			
		

> You definately want to miss The Grudge.


 
Unfortunately too late for me...


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## Marky Lazer

If I knew about this thread earlier, I would have warned you.


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## ChasenFate

Well after scanning through to make sure the movie I hate the most wasn't on the list...And it wasn't(I don't think) I have to add:
Eye of the Beholder with Ashley Judd and Ewan McGregor. This movie was a pile. I hated it and I can never get back the time it stole from me. Those two actors should pay me for my anguish.....God that movie sucked.


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## Shoegaze99

amara said:
			
		

> Both Spidermans werent that good in my opinion, kind of cheap thrills.


Thrills, whether they are cheap or not, are still thrills. Is there a better reason to avoid the Spider-Man films?


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## Dead Riverdragon

Anyone seen Alexander yet (I may have missed earlier posts)? That may just top Dungeons and Dragons for awfulness


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## ravenus

Shoegaze99 said:
			
		

> Thrills, whether they are cheap or not, are still thrills. Is there a better reason to avoid the Spider-Man films?


Of course. A whiny Hallmark Channel romance with a few bits of superhero sequences thrown in is not everybody's cuppa


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## Culhwch

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I was hoping it was going to be so bad that it was good. Turned out it was just so bad.


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## jenna

lol, i am making a bunch of notes of everyone's worst movies, and i'm going to hire all the ones i haven't seen. i LOVE bad movies! some movies that have been mentioned that i adore include Battlefield Earth (loved it!), Showgirls, Romy and Michelle, Signs, Armageddon (and anything else with Bruce "Hornbag" Willis), AVP, Chronicles of Riddick (for anyone who dares diss my husband Vin, there'll be hell to pay!), oh the list goes on and on.

my suggestions for everyone is, don't just avoid a movie because someone else says it's bad, because (der) THAT'S JUST THEIR OPINION! you could be doing youself a disservice and missing out on a great movie. for example, i've never been a fan of Star Wars (the originals) they always bored me when i was a kid, and i can't imagine sitting through them again now. i could then say that Star Wars is crap (even though i know its not, it's just not for me), and what if you listened to me and never watched it? you should always just form your OWN opinion rather than letting others do it for you...


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## Alysheba

Good point Jenna. We all have different tastes in film. What may be someone's bomb may be someone else's blockbuster. Personally, I loved "Romy And Michelle" too. LOLOL. Okay, they were dumb, but I liked it.


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## cornelius

"the warrior" don't know why I rented it, but it sucked. the title was totally misplaced, it should have been " old man coughs while son thinks of maybe becoming a soldier" 
the old man mysteriously heals from the cough
the "warrior" only has one fight to fight, while the subtitle mentions " in a series of battles, he's the one that stands"
his girlfriend gets raped, but later acts like she enjoyed it
his sister wants to keep him home by kissing him on the mouth
the general from both armies seams so much alike, I suspect they are played by one and the same person, only with a different helmet and a different color of shirt
some of the soldiers wore T-shirts and sets of jeans, even though the story is situated in the year 400 AD
a village gets burnt by night , but is miracoulesly rebuilt the next scene...
in the battle scene you can see a plane passing by
one of the characters simply dissapears, he goes out to get some water for the old man, but never returns
the smith has fireproof hands, you see him holding the red glowing hot end of the bar, while he strikes the other half... How does he do it?
In the battlescene, you can actually see that some of the swords are made of plastic
a man gets hit on the head, and immediatly starts bleeding from the stomach

and many other flaws


Maybe all of this symbolises something ( the film is Chinese/Vietnamese) I don't know who was in it, but you can tell by my remarks it wasn't a very succesful commercial high light...the movie stood underneath " special offers" sign. I'll never go to that part of the store again


----------



## Marky Lazer

You mean The Warrior written and directed by Asif Kapadia? That movie surely doesn't belong in this list!


----------



## cornelius

I donno, don't thinks so, look at the discription, does it match?
 Btw there are thousands of movies named " the warrior"


----------



## Shoegaze99

Marky Lazer said:
			
		

> You mean The Warrior written and directed by Asif Kapadia? That movie surely doesn't belong in this list!


This entire thread is littered with films that don't belong within miles of an "avoid at all costs" llists.

But at least I now know which posters to never, ever take film recommendations from.


----------



## cornelius

look at the discription I gave... no can a movie be good with all of that crap? I guess not


----------



## jenna

oh my god, Cornelius, can you post more details like the director, year it was made etc? this sounds like a film i HAVE to see!



			
				Alysheba said:
			
		

> Good point Jenna. We all have different tastes in film. What may be someone's bomb may be someone else's blockbuster. Personally, I loved "Romy And Michelle" too. LOLOL. Okay, they were dumb, but I liked it.



my little sis and i LOVE Romy and Michelle! it's so stupid, which makes it so fun. Mira Sorvino especially is genius in it. "would you excuse me? i cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood..."


----------



## WizardofOwls

_*Druids* _- I had such high hopes for this movie, since it starred Christopher Lambert of Highlander fame, but I believe it was the most horrible movie I have ever seen. Or I guess I should say TRIED to watch. 30 minutes of this was as much as I could take. The acting was so bad it was actually painful to watch. I paid $5.00 for it in a bargain bin at Wal-Mart. That should have told me somthing. I overpayed for it by about $4.99.


----------



## SukiTrek

WizardofOwls' mention of Christopher Lambert brought a movie to mind I think should be avoided. It's probably been mentioned already but I did not like Highlander II. That was one of the worst movies I've ever seen.


----------



## hedgeknight

95% of all sequels are bad. For example:

First three chapters of Star Wars - terrible acting, goofy dumbass characters - Jar Jar Binks? - predictable and a waste of money and hours off my life
Highlander 2+, Back to the Future 2+, Rocky 3+, just about ANY horror sequel (I'm thinking Freddy, Jason Halloween, etc), Matrix 2 and 3, etc, etc. ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
Comedy sequels too - Ace Ventura, Hot Shots, American Pie, Porkys, Vacation, etc.
And I would also add just about anything by Quentin Tarantino (although I did like Kill Bill) - overdramatic, overdone, overkill - Reservoir Dogs was probably the dumbest movie I've seen in a long time.

And for those of you who said you didn't like The Matrix or Titanic....wtf?
-g-


----------



## ravenus

I like most of Quentin Tarantino's directed movies...and in a contradictory vein find the man very annoying and too full of himself. On the other hand, I thought Titanic and the Matrix sequels were total yawnfests...which means that hedgeknight and I probably shoudn't get together to watch movies


----------



## Foxbat

> I thought Titanic and the Matrix sequels were total yawnfests...which means that hedgeknight and I probably shoudn't get together to watch movies


 
Well, I liked The Matrix but detested Titanic so maybe I could sit in the middle


----------



## GrownUp

Foxbat said:
			
		

> Well, I liked The Matrix but detested Titanic so maybe I could sit in the middle


 
Stop copying my brain, Foxbat. It is rude.


----------



## Omega

GrownUp said:
			
		

> Stop copying my brain, Foxbat. It is rude.



Brain clone, sounds nasty.


----------



## sanityassassin

The Matrix was great the second film was ok the third sucked big time titanic utter rot back to the future followups where ok highlander 2 and 3 very disapointing quentin tarrintino movies are great loved the original direction of them. I don't know if this was mentioned before but the worst film I've ever seen has to be Rosemary's Baby. The "scariest film of all time"  I think not it nearly killed me with boredom. Also on the subject of sequals What about Aliens and Army of Darkness (cheesy I know)


----------



## hedgeknight

How can you folks say Titanic was a yawnfest? That just blows my mind. Not enough action for you MTV/ADHD kids? 
-g-


----------



## GrownUp

Titanic is just poor.

And long.

Titanic is just poor and long.



			
				cornelius said:
			
		

> "the warrior" don't know why I rented it, but it sucked. the title was totally misplaced, it should have been " old man coughs while son thinks of maybe becoming a soldier"


 
Ought to say here that this is different from the Asian/British film "The Warrior" directed by Asif Kapadia. Which was rather good.


----------



## ravenus

hedgeknight said:
			
		

> How can you folks say Titanic was a yawnfest? That just blows my mind. Not enough action for you MTV/ADHD kids?
> -g-


Not that, but totally flat characters enacting a romance that's so devoid of feeling it bores the hell out of me...and an annoying old bat whose obnoxiousness and low opinion of the next generation becomes so obvious with her "no, we didn't do it" statement.


----------



## hedgeknight

ravenus said:
			
		

> Not that, but totally flat characters enacting a romance that's so devoid of feeling it bores the hell out of me...and an annoying old bat whose obnoxiousness and low opinion of the next generation becomes so obvious with her "no, we didn't do it" statement.



Really? 
So, what *WOULD* be a movie where characters enact a romance that is not "so devoid of feeling it bores the hell out of" you?
Padme' and Anakin (Attack of the Clones)?
Norman and Ethel Thayer (On Golden Pond)?
Jim and Michelle (American Wedding)?
Frodo and Sam eek:)?
Or any of the Kevin Costner, Sandra Bullock, Bennifer movies?

No really - inquiring minds want to know.
-g-


----------



## GrownUp

There is no reason to get so cross. Titanic is just crap. 

'On Golden Pond' _does_ movingly portray a relationship.
Frodo and Sam in the 1st LOR film did, in all honesty, almost get me a bit choked up, but that was not a romance really as far as I could feel.

I was saying to someone on another thread that I am planning to go to and see 'Brokeback Mountain', except I'm not sure that I should because I'd probably cry. I cried in 'E.T.' and 'Ordinary People' and if I weep much more I'll lose my macho appeal.

There are moving films in the world, hedgeknight, Titanic just should not be mentioned anywhere near them.


----------



## hedgeknight

GrownUp said:
			
		

> There is no reason to get so cross. Titanic is just crap.
> 
> 'On Golden Pond' _does_ movingly portray a relationship.
> Frodo and Sam in the 1st LOR film did, in all honesty, almost get me a bit choked up, but that was not a romance really as far as I could feel.
> 
> I was saying to someone on another thread that I am planning to go to and see 'Brokeback Mountain', except I'm not sure that I should because I'd probably cry. I cried in 'E.T.' and 'Ordinary People' and if I weep much more I'll lose my macho appeal.
> 
> There are moving films in the world, hedgeknight, Titanic just should not be mentioned anywhere near them.


Chill out, brother - I'm not cross or angry or even irritated. Just curious as to why Titanic is a "crap" movie. And I was being flippant and mean about Frodo and Sam. Haven't you heard of the "gay hobbit" rumors? 
Speaking of moving films - how about the bathroom scene in Dumb and Dumber? I nearly $#!+ myself laughing!   
-g-


----------



## steve12553

I'm glad to know other people thought the Matrix sequels were as bad and pointless as I did. I really enjoyed the first one. I thought it was inivative but it didn't need a sequel any more than Return of the Jedi needed follow up.


----------



## Kerayi

Any film that has Steven Seagal or Jean Claude Van Damn I'm crap should be avoided at all costs.

Ghosts on mars was probably the best crappest film i have ever seen.

Alexander, Kingdom of heaven and Dungeons and Dragons i didnt even bother to finish watching.

Star wars 3 sucked big time

Any daytime movie on channel 5?


----------



## Jason_Taverner

last days is the worst film I've ever seen


----------



## Alysheba

Add "The Brothers Grimm" to my list... Eventhough I saw the warnings here, I had the misfortune of watching it the other day with some friends. I was in the minority. I tried to warn them. Although I must admit in taking a little bit of joy in their complaints about it. At least they can't blame me for picking it this time.


----------



## kyektulu

*Grown up I must agree with you on the titanic front, but then again I dont like romance films as a rule.

 Armageddon was rubbish too.

 Alsheba is the brothers grimm that bad?
 I was considering watching it...*


----------



## kyektulu

*I disagree with you, Kerayi on the Dungeons and Dragons bit it was ok, nothing specil but it had dragons it that is why it gets my vote as a good movie.

However I have not watched Reign of Fire... how dare they kill dragons!
 Ignorant humans...*


----------



## weaveworld

Its Titanic - really avoid at all costs


----------



## Alysheba

kyektulu said:
			
		

> *
> Alsheba is the brothers grimm that bad?
> I was considering watching it...*



Let's just say I could've fallen asleep and had a better dream than this movie.  It was too drawn out for me.


----------



## hedgeknight

kyektulu said:
			
		

> *I disagree with you, Kerayi on the Dungeons and Dragons bit it was ok, nothing specil but it had dragons it that is why it gets my vote as a good movie.*
> 
> *However I have not watched Reign of Fire... how dare they kill dragons!*
> *Ignorant humans...*


 
The ONLY good thing in Reign of Fire was the dragon and you only see it really good and clear one time. Movie is not even worth a rental price.  
Neither is Dragonheart - terrible, just terrible.

Now, Dragonslayer is a classic!
And of course, Enter the Dragon! 
-g-


----------



## Jason_Taverner

Killer clowns from outer space


----------



## roddglenn

Hulk - that was just terrible.  Eric Bana and Nick Nolte should've been ashamed of themselves!  

Highlander 2 - a film that NEVER should've been made (or the others).  Highlander was brilliant and the subsequent films just tore any mysticism away from it.


----------



## Jason_Taverner

damm I liked the Hulk film i think there only two of us who did like


----------



## Caretaker66

Make that three. It wasn't a well-made film, but I found it otherwise entertaining...


----------



## Shoegaze99

Jason_Taverner said:
			
		

> Killer clowns from outer space


Blasphemy. *Killer Clowns From Outer Space* is a certified camp classic.


----------



## kyektulu

*I didnt enjoy Aeon Flux much...*


----------



## pixelated_dreams

I didn't like Aeun Flux much either.

also, underworld 2 - evolution

Oh my goodness that was terrible. I was really into the first film so dragged my partner to go see the second on the day of release. They tried so hard to make it an 18 that they forgot about the story line. it was completely different to the origional. and the only reason anybody would go see it would be to see a bit of naked kate bekinsale or whatever her name is.

boooo from me!! thats what i have to say!! 

edit: just to add a comment about Brother's Grimm too, above all the other reasons it was crap.. there is NO NEED to put a kitten in a blender in any film ever.... nuff said


----------



## GrownUp

I was quite looking forward to Aeon Flux. 
I managed to enjoy Resident Evil 1 and 2, though, I reckon you need the right mindset to enjoy them, so I could still give Aeon Flux a try...

unless it is worse. Is it worse?



			
				Jason_Taverner said:
			
		

> damm I liked the Hulk film i think there only two of us who did like


Four of us. It must be a love or hate thing with the Hulk- mindset notwithstanding - like Donnie Darko.


----------



## Thadlerian

Culhwch said:
			
		

> Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. I was hoping it was going to be so bad that it was good. Turned out it was just so bad.


Yeah, good one. I mean, bad one. I made the mistake of watching it yesterday. I had hoped it was a bit like Fifth Element - silly, but in an entertaining way. No such luck.


----------



## GrownUp

Shoegaze99 said:
			
		

> Blasphemy. *Killer Clowns From Outer Space* is a certified camp classic.


 
Mmmn. Like Biker Babes in Zombietown.


----------



## Winters_Sorrow

GrownUp said:
			
		

> Mmmn. Like Biker Babes in Zombietown.


 
Or The Toxic Avenger.

Mmmm, this side-track needs a thread of it's own


----------



## dwndrgn

Wow.  I don't agree with any of you.

I enjoyed Van Helsing and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - even though I thought that they could have been done better.  Never watched Titanic and still have no desire to.  Loved Sixth Sense and enjoyed Armageddon, Reign of Fire wasn't horrible and I'll watch Dragonheart anytime it is on.

Of course, Dragonslayer rocks but I'll also watch The Beastmaster anytime it comes on.


----------



## GrownUp

Ah yes, I remember Toxic Avenger! I enjoyed it, I did.
A 13-yr-old's-pyjama-party classic. 

Whereas Attack of the Killer Tomatoes didn't live up to the promise of its name. 

A sad loss.


----------



## Jason_Taverner

and did anyone see swamp thing, another cheese fest,


----------



## steve12553

dwndrgn said:
			
		

> Wow. I don't agree with any of you.
> 
> I enjoyed Van Helsing and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - even though I thought that they could have been done better. Never watched Titanic and still have no desire to. Loved Sixth Sense and enjoyed Armageddon, Reign of Fire wasn't horrible and I'll watch Dragonheart anytime it is on.
> 
> Of course, Dragonslayer rocks but I'll also watch The Beastmaster anytime it comes on.


 
I'll second all your choices except Reign of Fire because I haven't seen it. I thought The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a wonderful concept that definitely could have been better. As for Van Helsing I thought the concept was sacreligious but it wasn't too bad a movie. Sixth Sense had me going till the end. (Sometimes it pays to be a little naive on a conceptual level. There are more surprises)


----------



## ravenus

I liked *The Hulk* as well. It was uneven in tone (the poodle attack scene was an embarassment), Bana seemed dull for most part and Nick Nolte can be sometimes infuriatingly hammy but it did have a certain sober tone mixed with those lovely panelling effects and character writing which rose significantly above the obviously B-movie like conception of the original character. I liked the movie character a lot more than what I read of him in the 70's and 80's comics.


----------



## Niolani

I liked Hulk the movie only because it amuses me to see all his clothes but his lycra-ish boxers bust off but when he turns back, he's nude. I also get giggle out of seeing the scenes when he's running around smashing stuff.


----------



## Highlander II

*resurrects a thread*

From this thread - I liked Van Helsing, HL:II (obviously)

however, I agree on these: Matrix, The Brothers Grimm, The Others and M. Night's anything.

Sixth Sense (which I couldn't remember the title of earlier) was predictable as hell.  I had it figured out in about 30 minutes.  The Others - 2 minutes.  Seriously. 

And I haven't even *seen* "The Happening", but I read cleolinda's 'Movies in 15 Minutes' of it, and now I don't want to.  M. Night is a smidge overrated, if you ask me.

I hated LXG, liked the first Spiderman okay, but the 2nd one was boring.

I've never seen Titanic and never intend to.

I rolled my eyes through Army of Darkness and hated Reign of Fire.

Hmmmm - anything else?  I haven't been to the theatre since I saw "The Fountain" (great movie, btw) so I don't even know what's come out lately.


----------



## Grimward

Yeah, Spiderman II was average, but I thought the 3rd one was among Marvel's better efforts (except for the Sandman's size at one point; I don't ever remember him getting that big in the comic book).  Venom, in particular, was handled very well, if one overlooks some of the usual liberties a movie has to take (where the story unfolds over many issues in the comic book).

Movies I'd avoid?

- Anything that ends with "...of the Dead".  Can't even get into the classic original (tried!).

- Anything that stars Steven Segall (sic) or Chuck Norris.  Tried several offerings from each; no can do!

- Almost ready to say the same thing about Martin Lawrence, but haven't seen that Wild Hogs movie yet, so I'll give him one more chance....


----------



## gully_foyle

Anything with Adam Sandler in it, David Spade, Rob Schneider and most of Ben Stiller's efforts. Why do these movies keep gettin produced?


----------



## The Procrastinator

About Wild Hogs, Grimey...don't bother. I got a laugh or two out of it but on the whole it was so lame and bourgeois and predictable and smug that I really wouldn't recommend it.


----------



## that old guy

Grimward said:


> - Anything that stars Steven Segall (sic) or Chuck Norris. Tried several offerings from each; no can do!


 
re: Chuck Norris, Code of Silence wasn't half bad, or at any rate no worse than the average cop vs. 80 million bad guys type flick, I actually liked itmuch to my surprise. But, yeah, everything else he's ever done is unwatchable.

And poor Steven Segal, (or should I say Tertön Chungdrag Dorje?, could I say it? ) is some sort of reincarnation of a Buddhist monk. Cut the guy a break, will ya. 



> *Statement by H.H. Penor Rinpoche*
> *Regarding the Recognition of Steven Seagal*
> *as a Reincarnation of the Treasure Revealer*
> *Chungdrag Dorje of Palyul Monastery*
> [FONT=Verdana,]In February of 1997 I recognized my student, Steven Seagal, as a reincarnation _(tulku)_ of the treasure revealer Chungdrag Dorje. Since there has been some confusion and uncertainty as to what this means, I am writing to clarify this situation. [/FONT]
> 
> [FONT=Verdana,]Traditionally a tulku is considered to be a reincarnation of a Buddhist master who, out of his or her compassion for the suffering of sentient beings, has vowed to take rebirth to help all beings attain enlightenment. To fulfill this aspiration, a tulku will generally need to go through the complete process of recognition, enthronement and training.[/FONT]
> 
> Continued:
> 
> The Action Lama - Steven Seagal


----------



## The Ace

I may ruffle a few feathers here, but, '300,' if you want to see the story done well (and its one h*ll of a story) watch, 'The 300 Spartans,' instead.

Leonidas' sacrifice at Thermopylae galvanised the Greeks into uniting against a common enemy and it's thanks to 300 brave men that Western Civilisation even exists.

'Gladiator,' great story, but historically woeful (mind you, Commodus did succeed his father, Marcus Aurelius, as emperor, it wasn't 'A name from a carry-on film,' as one critic suggested).

'The Dark is Rising : The Seeker,'  read Susan Cooper's brilliant book and you'll be one up on the a**eholes who made this tripe.


----------



## Foxbat

The Ace said:


> I may ruffle a few feathers here, but, '300,' if you want to see the story done well (and its one h*ll of a story) watch, 'The 300 Spartans,' instead.
> 
> Leonidas' sacrifice at Thermopylae galvanised the Greeks into uniting against a common enemy and it's thanks to 300 brave men that Western Civilisation even exists.
> 
> 'Gladiator,' great story, but historically woeful (mind you, Commodus did succeed his father, Marcus Aurelius, as emperor, it wasn't 'A name from a carry-on film,' as one critic suggested).


 
I agree. 300 is vastly overrated. 

Gladiator looked nice but that's about all it did. Better watching _The Fall Of The Roman Empire_


----------



## Highlander II

I'll toss in a vote for 'Gladiator' being bad - I was bored.

Oh - and whoever mentioned 'Eye of the Beholder' - I totally agree!  That should've been called 'Ewan McGregor's No Good, Really Bad Day' or something... it would've been far more appropriate a title.


----------



## clovis-man

Foxbat said:


> Gladiator looked nice but that's about all it did. Better watching _The Fall Of The Roman Empire_


 
Good catch. Done about 40 years earlier with the same story line. Great cast and great cinematography. The chariot chase was a little lame, but probably to be expected after Stephen Boyd's role in *Ben-Hur*. Overall, though, well worth seeing.


----------



## Grimward

Interesting find, TOG. In particular from the article:



> As for Steven Seagal's movie career, my concern is with the qualities I experienced within him which relate to his potential for benefiting others and not with the conventional details of his life which are wholly secondary. Some people think that because Steven Seagal is always acting in violent movies, how can he be a true Buddhist? Such movies are for temporary entertainment and do not relate to what is real and important.


 
Alas, the "entertainment" for me didn't even reach a "temporary" status!


----------



## Happy Joe

Most recently Cloverfield was the worst movie that I mistakenly saw. (A nausea inducing effort that any untalented 14 year old (with a budget) could better).

"Decent" was another "stinker".

Many of the movies posted in this thread have some redeeming parts, though, I agree; Segal's recent efforts should be avoided.

Enjoy!


----------



## JoanDrake

Blair Witch II  An innovative idea isn't on the second try. Particularly when it's innovation is to be conventional again.

Anything by Shyamalan. The man needs to realize that the main surprise shouldn't be just how stupid his main surprise idea is.


----------



## Highlander II

JoanDrake said:


> Blair Witch II  An innovative idea isn't on the second try. Particularly when it's innovation is to be conventional again.
> 
> Anything by Shyamalan. The man needs to realize that the main surprise shouldn't be just how stupid his main surprise idea is.



Blair Witch the original wasn't worth watching, why would there need to be a 2nd one?


And agreed!  About Shyamalan.  I get the whole 'thinking outside the box' thing, but his box has already been rummaged through.  Just from reading someone's review of "The Happening", I've deduced that it follows a similar path to "The Andromeda Strain", which, really, wasn't all that exciting either (the book, that is, I haven't seen any of the film versions).  So, I won't watch anymore Shyamalan stuff....


----------



## Perpetual Man

It may well have been mentioned before but Starship Troopers 2

A perfect example of how to take a good film and ruin it with a sequel....

And having seen the HAppening I would not class it as a movie to avoid but it's nothing special and I certainly would not watch it again, and to me at least it seemed a little silly!


----------



## biodroid

I think anything by Quentin Tarantino is a load of cow pat, I hated Kill Bill 1 never saw 2 coz I heard it was worse. Dusk til dawn was krap and so was Pulp Fiction. Never saw Reservoir Dogs (Mutts?). What about The Covenant, a tired movie from the time I stupidly picked up the dvd case from the rental store. Any movie starring or directed by Mario van Peebles, please man your movie career was over before it even started. Barnyard was junk, the GFX was like playing a Wii game, so terrible. And lately Nicholas Cage movies have been sucky except for National Treasure 1 and 2. Munich was brilliant if not disturbing too. Troy was cheesy I mean why put a little mound of sand to trip the guy so that Brad Pitt can get a chance to kill Eric bana, shows you Hector would have one if it wasn't for that darn set decorator who placed an anthill there. Tried to watch Legend one of Tom Cruises first movies and that was time well wasted. Shrek 3 was totally ridiculous c'mon Justin Timberflake as an actor, and the comedy was so unfunny I thought it would do better as a drama. I think M. Night Shyamalans movies are great, except for Unbreakable, I did not like that one. The whole Spider Man series is a joke, the best comic book movies are Iron Man and the X-Men series. The Harry Potter movies are quite good except the last one (I am going to make a point of reading the book after the movie because they killed the movie by editing out vitally important scenes). Eragon was just plane stupid, if you think about it George Lucas, Tolkien, and Pern featured in this movie with a little bit of Willow too and not to Mention the other stupid movie Dungeons and Dragons. The best (stupid) parts about Dungeons and Dragons was when the hero had to go through the "maze" of death, a whole 3 rooms with a lever and some other crap easily solvable items given to him, I thought a maze was something like in HP: Goblet of Fire, and then the baddy wearing pink lip gloss.


----------



## Allegra

*Closer*.  Four good actors acted pretentiously in this pretentious and shallow film. I had a feeling the film makers tried desperately to make something dark, deep, powerful and intellectual. It turned out just the opposite. Shun it. 

A note: some people loved it. So it again is a matter of opinion and taste.


----------



## clovis-man

biodroid said:


> Tried to watch Legend one of Tom Cruises first movies and that was time well wasted.


 
Looks like there was a goodly number of movies you didn't care for. 

I won't argue the point on any except *Legend*. Granted that Tom Cruise pretty much just read his lines, I thought the supporting cast and Ridley Scott's vision made it special. Tim Curry was great as Darkness. Alice Playten had a good role as the goblin Blix. Mia Sara had her career-best acting role in this film (sadly). and David Bennent (from 1979's *The Tin Drum*) as Honeythorn Gump was very good. Many other little roles did much to make the film a lot of fun. Did anyone recognize Robert Picardo (the *Star Trek Voyager* holographic doctor) as Meg Mucklebones?

Post production issues resulted in a couple of versions of this flick: One that was generally seen in Europe featured the Jerry Goldsmith score and some extra scenes. The U.S. version had the Tangerine Dream score and a slightly different presentation of Darkness. Both were good, IMHO.

Anybody familiar with another film with a Tangerine Dream score, *The Keep*? I'd be interested in opinions on that one.


----------



## Kostmayer

Nothing with Mia Sara in it can possibly be bad.

Not even Time Trax.


----------



## ushumgal

As a historian, both 300 and Troy had me nearly standing on my seat yelling at the screen...nothing gets me riled like bad history! 

The only movie I ever walked out on was A Walk in the Clouds...the girl I was dating wanted to see a chick flick together, and even she admitted she couldn't bear any more half way through... XD

I personally think there are no un-watchable movies...you just have to remember to bring your red and gold robot friends along...


----------



## Urien

"Anybody familiar with another film with a Tangerine Dream score, *The Keep*? I'd be interested in opinions on that one." Clovis


I saw the Keep. I believe it was disowned by the novel's author F.Paul Wilson. Despite the criticism, and the frankly out of place Tangerine Dream score, I quite enjoyed it. 

The Keep was built to keep something in. Best line. Nazi Stormtrooper to the thing, "Where do you come from", the thing "from you."

I think a lot of the film was left on the cutting room floor as the studio tried to shorten it, this made it difficult to understand at certain points. I think the director Michael Mann threw his toys out of the pram at that point.

A troubled film that should have been good.


----------



## manephelien

Event Horizon gets my vote. It's the most atrocious movie I've ever seen, in any genre. I'm surprised I managed to watch it to the end.


----------



## Mary Hoffman

I nearly walked out of HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy. It was so much less good than any other form of Douglas Adams' great work.

And they had the John Malkovich character, who had no lower half to his body except dozens of little brass legs, apparently sitting at a dinner table and eating. Where would the food go?


And I got pretty fed up during Harry Potter 2-4 inclusive and The Golden Compass.

Mary


----------



## Werewoman

With the exception of Shaymalan movies, anything with Bruce Willis in it. I guess that's kind of mean since he once offered to have a straight-jacket custom made for me - embroidered even. Nice guy, huh? 

Full Metal Jacket - it was going along great until the soldiers found the sniper and hesitated to kill her BECAUSE SHE WAS A GIRL! Now boys, I'm all for men being perfect gentlemen in most situations, BUT THAT IS NOT ONE OF THEM. The b**** just shot a bunch of your guys!. What were you knuckleheads waiting for, an apology? Women who choose to play with the big boys should suffer the same consequences. That scene ruined the whole movie for me. 

The Birds by Alfred Hitchcock. I was probably too young to be watching it in the first place.


----------



## tangaloomababe

Allegria I could never make up my mind over Closer, some bits I like but I think your overall apprasial is correct, good actors in a movie that could have been good. This movie put me of Judd Law for life I think!

New one to add:
Journey to The Centre of the Earth (the remake) Brendon Fraser shouldhave stuck to the Mummy movies, which although not brilliant, he seemed comfortable in.  Bad movie, bad acting, bad story and even worse jokes.  Is there anything I liked about it.  The End it couldn't come soon enough and I had the movie on fast forward at times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Heebie

Anything directed by Uwe Boll has to be in there.


----------



## Niolani

Laid To Rest - this has to be the WORST film I have EVER seen! The idea was naff, the acting was atrocious and the actors lines were ridiculous!!! I beg you all, don't watch it. I don't know why I did, the fact the main actress was a producer was a huge hint in the beginning that it was dross.

Shrooms - a bad trip  . 

I seem to be on a mission to watch the refuse of the horror genre.


----------



## Niolani

Oooh, and Blindness. I thought it was absolutely awful. I can't even begin to articulate how terrible it was.


----------



## Foxbat

clovis-man said:


> Anybody familiar with another film with a Tangerine Dream score, *The Keep*? I'd be interested in opinions on that one.


 
Found the score to this movie a bit overpowering. Found the movie itself to  be absolute tripe.


----------



## Alysheba

One that my family sat down to watch because we like scary stuff was "The Strangers". Oh how much can I tell you how bad that movie was. They were completely dumb during the whole ordeal. You almost wished they would get hacked to pieces to make it stop.


----------



## Karn Maeshalanadae

Outside of the Matrix trilogies-which was my worst big-screen nightmare confirmed-anything by Keanu Reeves, including the modern remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still.


That's a couple hours of my life I'll never get back.


----------



## Alysheba

Reeves is like the opposite of Depp. Pretty much everything he picks is awful these days. Sometimes he lands a good one but for the most part not. I'm not a big fan of remakes. I just found out they are remaking the "Karate Kid". UGH...


----------



## Rodders

I'd recommend not watching the Core. I think that i'm a faitly forgiving person, but this was just the most awful piece if trash that i've ever had the misfortune to watch.


----------



## Niolani

I've remembered some more.

Dungeons and Dragons- with Jeremy Irons and Thora Birch. Someone obviously was getting hard up for money.

The Andromeda Strain remake- mindblowingly STUPID.

Day of the Dead (2008)- how the heck do these films get funded?


----------



## rojse

I've watched a lot of awful movies (and an awful lot of movies). Certainly, there were some that I thought were extremely rubbish, but at the same time, recognise that I mightn't be able to see what the movie was trying to do, and that some people might actually enjoy and appreciate the movies that I disliked. 

There were also some mentions on here that I could not understand, too - "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" and "The Matrix" definitely do not belong here, and I am sure others will definitely object to any movies I mention.


----------



## thepaladin

I found the first Matrix watchable, but after that I thought they seemed to lose their own story. Cddly I have a friend (another science fiction fan) who loves these movies and it's a continual point of contention between us. I hate them he dosen't. 

BUT the remake of Andromeda Strain...gag.
I'd avoid the remake of the Day the Earth Stood Still also. Am I the only one who wonders why anyone would try to remake a classic? sigh.


----------



## Karn Maeshalanadae

I did not at all find the Matrix watchable in any way. I'd rather rip out my prostate with a noodle spoon than watch any Keanu Reeves movie anymore.


----------



## Alysheba

I'll have to admit it makes some of my other sci-fi friends cringe when I tell them I have never seen "The Matrix".


----------



## rojse

thepaladin said:


> I found the first Matrix watchable, but after that I thought they seemed to lose their own story. Cddly I have a friend (another science fiction fan) who loves these movies and it's a continual point of contention between us. I hate them he dosen't.


 
I'm with thepaladin on this. First Matrix movie was great. Second and third was just pretentious rubbish, with a lot of CGI action thrown in.


----------



## Casshern

I'm suprised no-one has metion the prequels yet..

truly bad from start to finish.. i only watched them to see how vader became vader.. i will never watch them again as they sucked.. it would have been better if they didnt cast woody christiensson as vader..

also this can be added into SFF.. the horrendous Indy IV.. it just makes me wanna puke.. and the fact Shia Lapoo is taking over as Indy for a new trilogy is puke worthy..

also add to the list of bad films, Transformers 2.. too much happened in it for it to make sense.. and half the cool robots was onscreen for like 5mins tops..

Cmon i wanted The Fallen to kill shia and optimus (again)


----------



## Alysheba

As for the Star Wars prequels, there was another actor up for the role Christensen ended up with and that was Jonathan Jackson. Of course he's a soap actor (plays Lucky Spencer on General Hospital) and probably not given enough credit because of that) but he is a very good actor and can show a lot of emotion which I think Hayden kind of lacks that in a lot of those scenes.


----------



## Casshern

Hayden lacked everything.. they could have gotten a puppet of him to play the part, and it'd convey more emotion.

its a pity they didnt keep the lil kid, christopher Lloyd was it?, as Anakin Douchewalkr


----------



## Casshern

i just remembered films to avoid..  HIGHLANDER 2+.. the first one was epic, the music is the best ever.. A Kind of Magic.. it even had a classic sean connery scottish sounding spaniard routine..

but teh second one turn the premise from a bunch of immortals.. to exiled aliens.. and then time travel mixed in.. then a tv series where connor dies and that he wasnt the only one left because he has a cousin and theres 3 new bad guys.. it just went from bad to worse..

also it was Raiden himself, Christopher Lambert.. with his sexuality changing deep gravely voice..

ive seen someone mention MKII a while back.. ever seen conquest? it makes MKII look like the mona lisa


----------



## Alysheba

They ruined the Highlander films. It made no sense what so ever after the first one. I have to admit that I did love the series. The last one was atrocious.


----------



## Casshern

well move aside bad movie 6.. they are making 789 and 10 as we speak.. they are filming all four at once for a direct to dvd boxset xD


----------



## Parson

The Fifth Element was such utter rubbish! I can't believe that I saw it.


----------



## Culhwch

Manarion said:


> I did not at all find the Matrix watchable in any way. I'd rather rip out my prostate with a noodle spoon than watch any Keanu Reeves movie anymore.


 
Even _Bill and Ted's_???????


----------



## clovis-man

Parson said:


> The Fifth Element was such utter rubbish! I can't believe that I saw it.


 
Whoa! Careful with that axe, Eugene!

I've seen a lot of bad SF movies in my day. But this wasn't one of them. Lots of minor quibbles one could get hung up on: (1) Bruce Willis (2) Bruce Willis' mother (3) Chris Tucker, etc.

But the thrust of the story and the tongue in cheek delivery was highly entertaining. And the film editing and scene cuts added greatly to the pace of the film. Gary Oldman was great and the space thugs were hilarious. Ian Holm supplied his usual impeccable character portrayal. Etc. Etc.

Just my opinion.


----------



## Culhwch

I'd agree with that assesment, Clovis, though Chris Tucker absolutely **** me to tears...


----------



## Parson

Sorry, the axe must stay!!!! The Fifth Element makes me gag every time I even think about it, and that nearly pornographic outfit the female lead wore brings it to mind much, much, too often. It had all kinds of wildly improbable violence. The aliens were laughable. I don't do tongue in cheek well at all, especially when it is played as if it were a real story.


----------



## Sparrow

whoa, I thought _The Fifth Element_ was pretty damn entertaining.
It was over-the-top campy science fiction done pulp style, and it worked because there wasn't any lofty pretensions to do otherwise.

I can't imagine anyone taking that movie seriously when as it turns out the savior of the world is a down on his luck taxi driver.


----------



## Rodders

Yeah, the Fifth Element is just a SF fun romp. It doesn't even take itself seriously let alone ask the viewer to.


----------



## Parson

As far as I remember _The Fifth Element_ was not advertised as a campy cartoon, think the Batman TV series. It was promoted like it was something really wonderful like _Star Wars._ (Originally 1 and now 4 in the series.)


----------



## Sparrow

> typical review of the movie... Ancient curses, all-powerful monsters, shape-changing assassins, scantily-clad stewardesses, laser battles, huge explosions, a perfect woman, a malcontent hero--what more can you ask of a big-budget science fiction movie? Luc Besson's high-octane film incorporates presidents, rock stars, and cab drivers into its peculiar plot, traversing worlds and encountering some pretty wild aliens. Bruce Willis stars as a down-and-out cabbie who must win the love of Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) to save Earth from destruction by Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg (Gary Oldman) and a dark, unearthly force that makes Darth Vader look like an Ewok. --Geoff Riley




Since _The Fifth Element_ was pretty well received by critics and moviegoers alike, and made tons of money at the box office and as a dvd rental, I think most people "got it".  Likewise, StarWars wasn't promoted as the next _2001, A Space Odyssey_, or anything that highfalutin.  I think many of us have very fond memories of StarWars, but looking back on it, the movie wasn't as good as _Blade Runner_ or _Alien_... which both were promoted as serious sf.

I think most peoples expectations were that _The Fifth Element_ would be good old fashioned sf, just with way better special effects.


----------



## Connavar

*The Fifth Element* is one of few SF films in last decades i can enjoy and respect.

Visually very good looking too.  Luc Besson is always cool.

You cant diss a movie because you heard the hype that compared it to Star Wars....


----------



## Parson

I cannot believe what I am reading! _Fiifth Element _was trash!!! There were no redeeming ideas. I mean come on, who could believe that ending! 

Give me Star Wars any day over either Blade Runner or Alien. _Alien _was a good movie, blade runner was far too dark for me even to think about watching. I want a movie which has serious heroes, fighting impossible odds, willing to make any sacrifice. If you can throw in some social comment and a real moral sense, I'm there. Which is why the original _Star Wars _was so much better than any of those which followed.

My opinion, which might not be a majority opinion, but l am right as far as I am concerned, and I will continue to tell one and all avoid _Fifth Element_ like the plague itself.


----------



## Culhwch

The plague gets a bad rap. Look, if you expect it to be serious and meaningful, you're not going to get anything from it, but if you take the Black Death in the light-hearted spirit in which it was intended... Sorry, couldn't resist.

I'm with you on _Blade Runner_, Parse. I never really saw anything in that film worth the praise it gets. Some arresting visuals, maybe, but outside of that...


----------



## Sparrow

> Parson ~Give me Star Wars any day over either Blade Runner or Alien. Alien was a good movie, blade runner was far too dark for me even to think about watching. I want a movie which has serious heroes, fighting impossible odds, willing to make any sacrifice. If you can throw in some social comment and a real moral sense, I'm there. Which is why the original Star Wars was so much better than any of those which followed.



StarWars, social comment... what?
The only social commentary StarWars ever made was that the good guys wear white, and the bad guys wear black; and it may have taken place a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, but it sure seemed alot like one of those old pirate movies from the 1930s. Does anyone really indentify with Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?.. what lessons can two castrated cartoon characters repeating fortune cookie wisedom possibly bestow on an otherwise jaded and corrupt world?

No please, give me Charlton Heston in _Planet of the Apes_ and all his misogynistic glory, that was a man.


----------



## Winters_Sorrow

I've probably mentioned it before but I still regard "The Descent" by Neil Marshall as one of the worst movies ever made. Ill-prepared potholers go into a previously unexplored cave and die. I won't even go into the whole "was it a dream or not?" crappy ending but the film itself had bad characters doing stupid things (not having any food and water with them, using poorly maintained equipment, wearing inappropriate clothing - "hell yes, we always go clambering through small caverns underground in hot pants!") but were supposedly 'experienced' in their hobby. Really?? 

Anyway that crapfest was preceeded by another hackney lot of tripe known as Dog Soldiers and the so bad it was _almost_ funny Doomsday. Everytime someone mentions how we should support the "British Film Industry" I point to Neil Marshall & Guy Richtie as living proof on just how bad it is. So I regard those three movies as possibly the biggest pile of steaming excrement served to the british public in the last 20 years. And what riles me even more is how much money they made and were _lauded_ by some critics as a breath of fresh air!! Awful director, derivative straight-to-video scripts and smug, lazy storytelling which makes no attempt to paper over the cavernous plot holes in his movies.

Phew! I feel better


----------



## Parson

Sparrow, I did not mean that Star Wars had social relevance, although what I said could have been construed that way. I meant to say that if you were making the ideal movie for me, it would have that. If I were to talk about my all time favorite SF movie it would be Charlie (from the book Flowers for Algernon). But for me Star Wars a breath of fresh air in a 60's and 70's and to a large degree today with anti-heroes, the people who are supposed to be the good guys the bad guys, families derided, religion mocked and bad stuff without end.


----------



## Sparrow

That's interesting, Parson, I've always thought that the StarWars idea of religion was a bit of a mockery in itself.  Not that it set out to mock religion, but Lucas used a sort of convoluted mix of buddhism and New Age gobbledygook to arrive at the _Force_.  Complete with ghosts and voices from beyond the veil, that guide our young hero along his journey.


----------



## thepaladin

I never belived (and still don't) that the Star Wars take on "_the Force_" was in any way a mockery of religeon. I think he was just going for a sort of geneic working faith. The way he structured it it didn't really insult any given religeon, Christanity, Buddhism. Hinduism, evn Toaists could look at at and say well it's "close". As long as you don't go to Star wars and look for actual theological vendication it's fairly "nondenominational". 

Yes there are religeons that have no room for tolerance but anything would insult them. other than that...well, see above.


----------



## clovis-man

thepaladin said:


> Yes there are religeons that have no room for tolerance but anything would insult them. other than that...well, see above.


 
Hey, for some good old-fashioned religion bashing, see *The Golden Compass*. Actually, I thought they tempered it down quite a bit in the movie. It came our just as mild Catholic bashing. But if you read the entire trilogy (Pullman: *His Dark Materials*), you'll get a different emphasis. I understand that there will not be a second film anytime soon because of such sensitive issues, although I may have missed a fine point somewhere in that statement.

To stay marginally on topic, I would say that *TGC* is not a movie to avoid, but that the entire written cycle can be somewhat soporific.


----------



## Sparrow

I liked how the Dark Materials books dealt with god and religion.

It did piss me off to find out the American editions have some passages missing, to do with Lyra's burgeoning sexuality and whatnot. Pretty crazy though, there were some parent groups and some religious organizations demanding the Harry Potter books be removed from school libraries, and nary a mention of Pullman's work, which should of been much more troubling to those sort of people.

And yeah, I don't know how they make the second movie without showing all their cards.  It took me surprisingly long before I had that, "oh, I get what's going on here", moment.  Followed by, "wow, they market this to young adults".


----------



## Connavar

clovis-man said:


> Hey, for some good old-fashioned religion bashing, see *The Golden Compass*. Actually, I thought they tempered it down quite a bit in the movie. It came our just as mild Catholic bashing. But if you read the entire trilogy (Pullman: *His Dark Materials*), you'll get a different emphasis. I understand that there will not be a second film anytime soon because of such sensitive issues, although I may have missed a fine point somewhere in that statement.
> 
> To stay marginally on topic, I would say that *TGC* is not a movie to avoid, but that the entire written cycle can be somewhat soporific.



What you are hailing the dumbed down,edited movie and dissing a well written,thought provoking books for a YA Fantasy series ?

His take on religion or not those books are good for their field.  Not feed the YA readers HP heroics only.....


----------



## Parson

Sparrow said:


> That's interesting, Parson, I've always thought that the StarWars idea of religion was a bit of a mockery in itself.  Not that it set out to mock religion, but Lucas used a sort of convoluted mix of buddhism and New Age gobbledygook to arrive at the _Force_.  Complete with ghosts and voices from beyond the veil, that guide our young hero along his journey.



This is all true. There were any number of fellow evangelicals who thought that the popularity of Star Wars was clear indication of the work of Satan. Does it have Christianity (or any other religion for that matter) right. Absolutely not! Are there weird occult ideas? Yes. But in most Hollywood movies you would not even get a hint that most humans have a religious side to their lives, and for some very good people a very religious side. For me that was part of the breath of Fresh Air from Star Wars.


----------



## clovis-man

Connavar said:


> What you are hailing the dumbed down,edited movie and dissing a well written,thought provoking books for a YA Fantasy series ?
> 
> His take on religion or not those books are good for their field. Not feed the YA readers HP heroics only.....


 
Conn, I think I was trying to say that the religion issue in the movie was soft-pedaled: An attempt to tell the story without enraging thin-skinned critics. On a simple story-telling level, it seemed to succeed.

The books, OTOH, get into deeper issues and certainly portray Pullman's themes without much flinching. I certainly don't begrudge him his POV, but even I had to wonder how this was intended for middle school aged young people. At the end of the third book, I found that he became, ironically, a little "preachy".

Back to the original point: I don't see *Star Wars* as being in the least involved with religious issues, even peripherally. The *Golden Compass* was, even though it really just amounted to tip-toeing through it.


----------



## Connavar

It seemed to succeed to disgust me and make warn everyone about the movie 

You can get a bit preachy but i think the children need to think about those issues in YA book.  Why cant a YA fantasy be though provoking about religion issues or whatever ?


Back on topic i didn't see any religion in SW either.   I think people tend to overrate it because it was an early popular sf film.    Only thing i remember fondly about those films is Han Solo,the different worlds,the iconic villain.

The force i thought was really lame,they overdid it.    It could have been smarter,like how Dune deals with religion,Messiah issue.


----------



## clovis-man

Connavar said:


> The force i thought was really lame,they overdid it. It could have been smarter,like how Dune deals with religion,Messiah issue.


 
Maybe it should have been done like Mel Brooks suggested in *Space Balls* (two seperate quotes):

*Lone Starr*: I still don't understand how I'm going to lift that big statue with this little ring. 
*Yogurt*: Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz! 

*Colonel Sandurz*: [_in reference to not wanting to attack Yogurt's lair_] But sir, your ring! Don't you have the schwartz too? 
*Dark Helmet*: Nah, he got the upside, I got the downside. See there's two sides to every Schwartz.


----------



## Prototype

*Watchmen* and _*The Knowing *_compete in my mind as two of the most awful sci-fi films ever.

Both too dreadful for words. One's up its own **** and the other doesn't know if it wants to be an alien film or a religious film.


----------



## Harry Kilmer

Just rewatched Watchmen. Read all the critiscms of the film, and they may be right. But I still think its a fun film.

But then I also like League of Extraordanairy Gentlemen.


----------



## Daisy-Boo

*My Sister's Keeper* -  just watched it and basically its horse doody.

*Not Forgotten* - I'd watch Simon Baker read the phone book but he is horribly miscast in this film. A disappointing film in just about every respect.

*Matrix 2 & 3* - I liked the first film but the sequels...I still can't figure out what the heck happened in both movies.

*Pirates of the Caribbean* - No. 1 had a few funny moments but otherwise didn't make much of an impression on me. Technically, I saw no. 2 because I was in the room when it was playing but I didn't bother paying any attention to it. 

Anything with Jean-Claude van Damme (except for Kickboxer), Steven Seagal and Chuck Norris. They can't laugh at themselves. Ok maybe Chuck can just a little. 

*Harry Potter and the Enchanted Toilet Duck* - ok I know that's not a real film title but I can't be bothered to remember the individual book/film names. I saw the first movie and frankly I wish the bespectacled little twit had been offed by a Quidditch ball right there and then.


----------



## Interference

E.T.

A.I.

Anything with Woody Harrelson in it.

Anything with Sean Connery doing an accent.

In fact, anything with unconvincing accents except Mary Poppins, which is just brilliant.

Every remake of every classic film ever made with the possible exception of -- no, actually, I wouldn't bother with it, either.


----------



## Harry Kilmer

Interference said:


> Every remake of every classic film ever made with the possible exception of -- no, actually, I wouldn't bother with it, either.



I'd put the 70's version of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers above the original - just. But thats a whole other thread


----------



## thepaladin

No offense here but....you like the remake of Bodysnatchers????? Amazing. It just goes to show that the old saying 'to each their own" is true. I hated that version, and I mean that deeply and truely...

I'd also avoid the remake of The Thing. Sorry Kurt, but I'll stick with the original.

Avoid any of the Alien movies beyond #2.


----------



## Harry Kilmer

I'm with you on the Alien films - 2 is a very different film to the first, but great in its own right - much like Terminator 1 & 2. Don't think I've ever seem the original "The Thing", must add it to my ever growing to watch list.

And the 70's version of Bodysnatchers creeped the hell out of me.


----------



## blacknorth

Another fan of 'Re-invasion' of the Bodysnatchers signing in. I particularly liked all the extraneous chase sequences - seemed to belong to a whole different film going on somewhere else. 

All depends on which film you watched. 

A couple of SFF films you want to avoid like the plague are:

The 27th Day. Ugh, just ugh.

The Flight That Disappeared (though I think Edmund Cooper might have seen this and salvaged a few genuinely good ideas).


----------



## thepaladin

I think the offical name of the first _The Thing _movie is (or was)_ The Thing from Another World _made in 1951. The words "The Thing" were simply larger in the credits and it came to be called "The Thing". 

Off the top of my head I can't think of a remake that I like. There may be one, but I can't think of it.


----------



## clovis-man

thepaladin said:


> I'd also avoid the remake of The Thing. Sorry Kurt, but I'll stick with the original.


 
The original "original", of course was John W. Campbell's story, *Who Goes There?* from 1938. The first film, *The Thing From Another World*, was likely directed by Howard Hawks. Some of his cinematic trademarks, e.g., everybody in the scene talking at the same time are hard to miss. I think it's a great movie, although the monster-as-vegetable waters down the basic premise of the story.

John Carpenter's version (I won't call it a remake), *The Thing*, is really a much more faithful realization of Campbell's original novella. The crittur is creepy to the Nth degree. You never know where it will pop up next or in what form.

So I choose to like both movies and think each has its own special appeal.


----------



## thepaladin

I wasn't going back to the story as this was a movie thread. I simply don't like the "remake"...actually I hate it (to each their own).


----------



## dustinzgirl

I can't think of too many movies I absolutely hate. 

But I loved The Thing. The second one, not the first. Which wasn't actually a remake. 

I did hate Kaw, but since its a SyFy original, I doubt anyone else would bother.


----------



## j d worthington

I'd have to chime in on the side favoring Carpenter's *The Thing*. While it pays its _hommage_ to the Howard Hawks film, it is not simply a remake. Carpenter did indeed go back to Campell's original tale and followed a good deal of it more closely, including the intense feeling of paranoia and the eerieness and feeling of isolation. It has its flaws, certainly -- too much reliance on splatter (if not actually gore, which, strictly speaking, is relatively little in the film) effects, but it captures the utter alienness of Campbell's creation very well indeed, to the point of the alien aesthetics of the thing. It also has a lovely score by Ennio Moricone (better known for his scores to Sergio Leone's westerns such as *The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly*); and one which is actually quite amazing, as it is a "cold" score -- written without having seen any footage of the film....


----------



## clovis-man

thepaladin said:


> I wasn't going back to the story as this was a movie thread. I simply don't like the "remake"...actually I hate it (to each their own).


 
My point was that the 1982 film wasn't a remake. It's okay with me if you don't like it.

Have to hurry with this post to get rid of the sign of the Beast (666).


----------



## thepaladin

Okay it's not a "remake". I still hate it.


----------



## Vargev

I quite liked A.I. even though it was kinda cliche'd and basically an SF version of pinocchio.

But really, really bad films i could go much worse. 

Dark Angel (My god what trash!)

Sunrise (Effects were good, story nearly sent me to sleep!)

Any of the Escape from series (come on Kurt, you know your just mimicking mad max here. )


----------



## CyBeR

There are two films that I consider to be the epitome of all that's horrible in Hollywood. That is, without taking into account the Uwe Boll disasters on tape. 

The first such film that I find unwatchable is *Son of the Mask*. It has no redeeming qualities, no real humor in it, no nothing that could warrant its existence. Keep away from this...keep far far FAR away from this. 
The second film is *Cursed*. And what a fitting name it is for something so ville. It is a werewolf flick with no scares, no interesting designs and just a really really bad storyline. If *Ginger Snaps *and *Dog Soldiers* wouldn't have existed, this would've been the film that finally broke my faith in werewolf films.


----------



## Shadow Trooper

I didn't mind Cursed so much CyBeR, although I saw it way after its original release and pretty much new it wasn't actually a 'horror' flick so to speak. It was an average story that attempted to pass itself of ass a horror ( with a little (very) light humour thrown in), a bit like the Frighteners (although I really like that film!)).

Horror/Comedy, Comedy/Horror, is there such a thing? Comedy/Horror must be Shaun of the Dead. I laughed my socks off with that one (especially the scene where they're battering the zombie landlord to Queen's Don't Stop Me Now  Horror/Comedy... Dog Soldiers, the guys are very much squaddies in the way they act and the utter rubbish that tends to be talked about when you're on patrol.


Getting back to the subject in hand, *Dragon Wars* was a film I thought would be a good but turned out to be really disapointing (IMO).


----------



## Happy Joe

The worst film that I have seen in a very long time was the recently released (DVD) Princess of Mars... terrible acting, rubber masks. Thank goodness for fast forward, chapter skip and stop buttons (relief is just a pushbutton away).

Enjoy!


----------



## thepaladin

Oh, I forgot! _Ator the Fighting Eagle_ I remember bad acting and a giant rubber spider.


----------



## CyBeR

Shadow Trooper said:


> Horror/Comedy, Comedy/Horror, is there such a thing? Comedy/Horror must be Shaun of the Dead. I laughed my socks off with that one (especially the scene where they're battering the zombie landlord to Queen's Don't Stop Me Now  Horror/Comedy... Dog Soldiers, the guys are very much squaddies in the way they act and the utter rubbish that tends to be talked about when you're on patrol.



"Comedy/Horror" will most likely fall under "Unintentional Comedy" most of the time. 
I really liked "Dog Soldiers". It was fair with most things about the genre. No CGI, no crap curses and, for a change, it's not about one of the main characters turning.


----------



## paranoid marvin

The Keep and Wheels Of Terror 

Both great novels , with lousy conversions to celluloid


----------



## j d worthington

paranoid marvin said:


> The Keep and Wheels Of Terror
> 
> Both great novels , with lousy conversions to celluloid


 
Actually, I'd say *The Keep* was a fair-to-middlin' film... until about the last 20-30 minutes, at which time it went into some weird sort of dimensional warp where I'm not sure _Cthulhu_ could tell you what the devil was going on.....


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## clovis-man

j. d. worthington said:


> Actually, I'd say *The Keep* was a fair-to-middlin' film... until about the last 20-30 minutes, at which time it went into some weird sort of dimensional warp where I'm not sure _Cthulhu_ could tell you what the devil was going on.....


 
I feel the same about this one. The score by Tangerine Dream was appropriately creepy. Acting by Ian McKellen and Jurgen Prochnow was as good as Scott Glenn's was indifferent. I admit I haven't read the book, but the premise and the sets were intriguing.


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## Allegra

*Duplicity.* Big stars - Clive Owen and Julia Roberts. It's supposed to be clever and funny, turned out downright boring and the dialogue just dumb.


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## Devil's Advocate

*Transformers 2.*


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## Rackon

Whoever said *Event Horizon* way back when - I heartily concur! ARGH. And I'll add *Van Helsing* to that. I generally try to avoid bad movies, but I got stuck seeing those two, and if I hand't been with other people I'd have walked out, life's too short.

And to whomever said anything with Woody Harrelson in it was an automatic miss - yer wrong, WRONG I say!

Example: 2009's *The Messenger* - he's superb in it, and so is the film.

He's also been in the flollowing fine flicks:

*No Country For Old Men*
*Wag The Dog*
*The Thin Red Line*
*Welcome To Sarajevo*
*The People Vs Larry Flynt*
*A Prairie Home Campanion*

And arguably:
*Natural Born Killers*


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## Karn Maeshalanadae

I need to post the remade *Clash of the Titans *on this list.

That and the Twilight movies-BOTH of them.


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## Devil's Advocate

Manarion said:


> That and the Twilight movies-BOTH of them.


I second that. In fact, I would like to take it one step further.

I propose that we preemptively include all future and proposed _Twilight_ or _Twilight_-related movies in this list.


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## Daisy-Boo

Devil's Advocate said:


> I propose that we preemptively include all future and proposed _Twilight_ or _Twilight_-related movies in this list.


 
Seconded.


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## Tillane

Thirded.  On _Twilight_ and _Clash of the Titans_.


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