# Your Worst Film



## Tsujigiri (Feb 18, 2005)

I have just been inspired to create a thread inviting everyone to compile a shortlist of their all time worst films.

This thread courtesty of #1 below.

1: U571 - nuff said (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0141926/)
2: Out for a Kill (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0323531/)
3: Kill Bill (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0266697/)
4: Shakespeare in Love (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0138097/)
5: See Below

So......

#1: omg, Historically inaccurate, cr@p acting, cr@p screenplay, sheer nausea on DVD!
#2: I'm a martial arts fan, I don't watch Segal for his wonderful acting ability, however in this I found absolutely no merit...apart from the fact that it DID finish.
#3: Kill Bill....can't be bothered to comment...nauseating rubbish.
#4: I didn't finish this one, it bored me within 15 minutes.
#5: Slot 5 I'm reserving for a film I watched about 3 months ago, at the end of which I turned and said 'I just wasted 2 hours of my life on that'
 It was so bad and unmemorable that I can't even remember it's name!!!!!


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## Princess Ivy (Feb 18, 2005)

1. anything with kevin costner in it. so drab and dull and unapealing
2. most historical cstume dramas (gak, usualy wildly inacurate and overly acted)
3. Disney (with the notable exception of George of the Jungle and Monsters Inc)
4. Airport (arthur HAleys)
5. XXX - Vin diesel made me cringe!


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## GrownUp (Mar 3, 2005)

Die Another Day


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## Winters_Sorrow (Mar 3, 2005)

1) Dungeons & Dragons - were do I begin? With the Seaquest reject, the drag queen bad guy or Jeremy Iron's poor acting and dodgy "special" effects....
2) Bridget Jones-type movies. I'm not really the demographic that they were aiming at so I don't get it - I'm in the *other* 50% of the population! 
3) Any movie with Martin Lawrence in (that guy is a complete t!t) 
4) Matrix sequels - absolute garbage and should have served as a warning to Lucas that "good special effects do not a good movie make" 
5) Titanic - "A Night to Remember shows how to do this disaster well - even with it's shoddy special effects

It was actually quite hard to do this - I mentally airbrush all the bad movies rom my memory! Most of the 'bad movies' I remember have some kitsch value! 
Like Invaders from Mars or the Day the Earth Caught Fire


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## Tsujigiri (Mar 3, 2005)

I managed to compile my list after being irritated by U571, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to remember the other dross.


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## lester (Mar 3, 2005)

most of the batman movies
daredevil. i HATED that movie so much i walked out
the sequals to jurrasic park


although i did like the bridgette jones movies and the like. i think its cause i had a gf that was really into them for a long time, and we corrupted each other like that. she now watches LoTR, so i guess its fair.


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## ravenus (Mar 3, 2005)

*Ghostworld*

After hearing so much good word from friends who can normally be truested I sat down to this...eye-gougingly inane and idiotic film about a whiny stupid girl surrounded by almost as stupid stereotypes. The only patch of sunshine was Steve Buscemi as the music collector.

The director also made *Bad Santa* which was so crappy I returned the disc after some 20 minutes of it.


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## Alysheba (Mar 8, 2005)

"Stander"... I couldn't finish it. 

"The Punisher"... all I have to say is, why??? 

"Look Who's Talking Too"... once was enough.

"My Best Friend's Wedding"... I own it. Watched it once and gave it away.


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## Tsujigiri (Mar 8, 2005)

Alysheba said:
			
		

> "My Best Friend's Wedding"... I own it. Watched it once and gave it away.



That comment has had me chuckling for 5 mins now


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## lowly jackal (Mar 13, 2005)

So many bad movies out there...

1. Donnie Darko - Completely over-rated. Though it seems to be the bible of emo-kids. Its just an angsty film that tries to be smart by introducing a time traveling theme. It didn't work for Butterfly Effect and it doesn't work for Donnie Darko. Time travelling is not an intelligent theme in a movie, so its time for people to stop acting like it is. Terrible movie.

2. Napoleon Dynamite - Wow. It was funny for the first five mintues until you realized that the movie was just the same sort of pointless, dry humor througout the ENTIRE movie. I can only hear someone say "Gosh" once or twice until it stops being funny. Yet another overrated movie that seems to be the beloved movie of certain groups of people. 

3. The Matrix Trilogy - Special Effects...Great. Story? Terrible! Once again the writers introduce philisophical themes to make themselves seem intelligent, but its all just an overblown mess. It tries to be too smart for its own good. The only one that was decent was the third movie because it put the shoddy philosophy aside and went pure action, at least that made it watchable. 

4. Any movie made by Kevin Smith. Mallrats, Dogma, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, etc, etc. How can he be famous? He is such a terrible director. Jay and Silent Bob are not funny. Its dumb humor that only unintelligent people will like. I hate any kind of movie like Kevin Smiths. They are just terrible.

There are surely more dreadful movies that I can't think of right now. But I think the ones mentioned will work for now.


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## Winters_Sorrow (Mar 13, 2005)

I thought Clerks was a great movie!

but hey-ho

welcome to the chronicles network anyhoo


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## Lacedaemonian (Mar 14, 2005)

Lowly Jackal, your avatar is perhaps the greatest avatar on the planet.  Now there was a great movie.  

The five worst films ever to have been made:

*Moulin Rouge* -  I want to kick Baz Luhrmann in the head until he his not alive.  
*Chicago* - I haven't even seen this film, but the trailers have made me suffer enough to place it on this list.  
*The Idiots* - Lars von Trier would clearly blow himself if he could....
*Rocky 5 -* What the F was Sly thinking of?
*U571 -* Jon Bon Jovi


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## dwndrgn (Mar 14, 2005)

I may have to think a while to get the top five but the number one was so bad I don't even remember how bad it was.  Not even cheesy and silly enough to be a 'good' bad movie.

1.  Battlefield Earth - I mainly hate this movie because John Travolta wanted to make this movie for a propaganda type reason; he wanted Hubbard's name out there and he wanted to advertise in a way for Scientology - BUT - he ruined the entire thing.  He didn't stay true to the general gist of the story much less any of the actual events.  The change of the Psychlos for screen was a necessary evil that I could have handled if they had actually put any of the actual story into the film.  It was almost like he had never read it.  I'm not a Hubbard fan  (would probably chew my own ears off if I had to listen to him) but I really like the story so wish it could have been done better.
2.  Yor, The Hunter from the Future - if you've seen it you know why.  If you haven't, thank your lucky stars.  Think of it as a really bad Clan of the Cave Bear  
3.  Any Steven Segal movie - I mean, I love martial arts and the good guys beating the crud out of the bad guys as much as the next girl but this man can't act, looks like a wooden indian they reanimated to play a role as a robot...
4.  To Die For - I'm not a fan of Nicole Kidman.  She has some good stuff but mostly she's the same nasty person in another dress.  Matt Dillon was so cardboard that he couldn't save it either.  I hated all the characters and saw no point to the plot.  I've never finished it either, can't do it.
5.  Street Fighter - Jean Claude Van Damme is sexy but can't act.  Plus, the script was horrible, Raul Julia (the only person who could have saved this film) was clearly sickly in this movie and did not give his usual good performance.  Just trash.

Sheesh, now that I've gotten started I could really go on...but I'll restrain myself (you can thank me later  )


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## jenna (Mar 22, 2005)

1. Glitter... worst. film. ever.

2. Torque... didn't even make it 30 minutes into this one! 

3. Valentine... only thing that kept me watching til the end was chance of David Boreanez taking his shirt off.. which he didn't...

4. Haunted (i think that's the title)... this little gem was the late late night movie about a month ago, and it was seriously unbelievably terrible! it had Kate Beckinsale in it, but even that didn't help it! it did give those of us watching a few laughs, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. but it was one of those horrors that's not at all scary, the special effects make you giggle, and you can pick the twist within the first 20 mins...

5. Timeline... again, this one had my sister and i in fits of laughter, but not for the right reasons! Paul Walkers surfer boy accent in medieval times? had to laugh or i would've cried!


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## Foxbat (Mar 22, 2005)

*The Creeping Terror *is unbelievably bad.


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## a|one (Mar 24, 2005)

1. Hellboy - Terrible.

2. Street Fighter - Great if your 7 years old.

3. Rushmore - Zzzzzzz...

4. Moulin Rouge - Watched 5 minutes and left.

5. Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion - I would rather strangle myself than watch this movie again.


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## Alysheba (Mar 24, 2005)

Tsujigiri said:
			
		

> That comment has had me chuckling for 5 mins now


 
Yeah I can see why... I should explain.  Actually, I technically still own it. I lent it to someone and she has kept it now for about 2 years. Never asked for it back. My grammar is not always the greatest.


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## Old Nick (Mar 28, 2005)

Hmm... you people can't have watched to many movies...
If you'd follow me into my local video rental, I'd easily point out some 20 or 30 movies that would make you worship most of the movies mentioned above. Seems to be a case of high expectations most of the times rather than the movie(s) actually beeing bad.

Anyway, go rent "Expect No Mercy".
Watch it.
After that, you'll never have to use the phrase "worst movie ever" unless you're talking about "Expect No Mercy"

Though I have heard there's a prequel that's even worse...


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## littlemissattitude (Mar 29, 2005)

jenna said:
			
		

> 5. Timeline... again, this one had my sister and i in fits of laughter, but not for the right reasons! Paul Walkers surfer boy accent in medieval times? had to laugh or i would've cried!


 
Actually, I found Timeline to be quite entertaining.  However, that might have to do with the fact that the DVD of it that I saw was an Iraqi bootleg brought back by someone I know who was stationed over there.  The thing is, it was subtitled _in English_ (and not dubbed, so the dialogue was in English as well).  The subtitles sometimes were rough paraphrases of what was being said onscreen, sometimes had nothing to do with what was being said onscreen and, amazingly, sometimes said exactly the opposite of what was being said onscreen.  A quite surreal experience, let me tell you.

And I do have to stand up to defend Kevin Smith, who I happen to think is brilliant.

As for my worst film: I don't have too many, because I won't spend my time watching crap.  I've walked out of a couple of films that were just horrible - "The White Buffalo" and "Sorcerer".  But of films that I actually sat all the way through, that were just abysmal, these were the worst:

1.  "Raise the Titanic" - I had such high hopes for this one.

2.  "Saturday Night Fever" - I can't think of words to describe how much I detest this film.

3.  "It's A Wonderful Life" - Another film I just cannot tolerate.

4.  "Titanic" - Although, I have to say I liked the parts where they were in the present (when they were looking for the Titanic).

5.  "F.I.S.T." - I don't like Sylvester Stallone.  This movie was too long.  It was awful.

6.  "New York, New York" - Another one that was way, way too long.  I was much younger when I saw it, however, so I wonder whether I would like it better now.


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## Winters_Sorrow (Mar 29, 2005)

you hate It's a wonderful Life??

sheesh - tough crowd!


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## Darken Rahl (Mar 29, 2005)

Vampire's Kiss - Nick Cage (earlier film) as a guy who thinks he's become a vampire, goes to buy fake fangs, winds up with el cheapo Halloweenie specials. The only scene worth watching is when he attacks the pigeon in the park. What the @#$@ was he thinking doing this waste of film? Physically painful to watch.

Oh and Kevin Smith is excellent.  Love all of his films except Jersey Girl, and it is still not really a bad film, just a little too cute for my taste.


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## eccles_1960 (Mar 29, 2005)

In no particular order:

The Blair Witch Project.......bottom squirmingly bad!
Battlefield Earth.................no comment.
Pitch Black _and_ The Chronicles of Riddick.
Pulp Fiction.

I feel that special mention should go to Buckaroo Banzai Across the Fourth Dimension........a film that is so bad, so badly acted by so many good actors, that it is absolutely brilliant.


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## jenna (Mar 29, 2005)

littlemissattitude said:
			
		

> Actually, I found Timeline to be quite entertaining. However, that might have to do with the fact that the DVD of it that I saw was an Iraqi bootleg brought back by someone I know who was stationed over there. The thing is, it was subtitled _in English_ (and not dubbed, so the dialogue was in English as well). The subtitles sometimes were rough paraphrases of what was being said onscreen, sometimes had nothing to do with what was being said onscreen and, amazingly, sometimes said exactly the opposite of what was being said onscreen. A quite surreal experience, let me tell you.
> .


 
LMAO i have a similar DVD of Dodgeball, not sure what country it's from, but it's a Spanish one. same deal, the dialogue is in English and the "english" subtitles are unbelievable! bloody hilarious! i've tried to track down similar pirated DVDs because this one made me pee myself laughing!!


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## Winters_Sorrow (Mar 29, 2005)

jenna said:
			
		

> the dialogue is in English and the "english" subtitles are unbelievable! bloody hilarious!


 
now wonder I get no respect abroad! 



			
				eccles_1960 said:
			
		

> I feel that special mention should go to Buckaroo Banzai Across the Fourth Dimension........a film that is so bad, so badly acted by so many good actors, that it is absolutely brilliant.


 
It's true! You all have to see this movie - it's brilliant! 
Remember....wherever you go...there you are! 

oh and Darken - consider you permission-ised. I'm sure I probably ripped it offa someone else to begin with anyway


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## a|one (Mar 29, 2005)

eccles_1960 said:
			
		

> Pulp Fiction.



Explain!?


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## shaggydog (Mar 29, 2005)

a|one said:
			
		

> Explain!?


 
 explain!!
the other day I saw "13 days". well, the first 20 mins. I highly recommend to avoid it. really awful.


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## eccles_1960 (Mar 30, 2005)

a|one said:
			
		

> Explain!?


 
OK, I have to hold my hands up and say "I just didn't get it". 
Totally personal choice, I didn't enjoy the film.
Again, maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong slant. I think Mr Tarantino tried to make a great gangster movie and failed.
Some of my friends agree, some don't and say the movie was great.


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## Jay (Mar 30, 2005)

Some horrendous movies up there but I promise you all the worst movie *EVER *made was _The Amati Sisters.  _I don't even want anyone to test my accusation, it's that bad.  _Howard the Duck _was the _Godfather _II in comparrison.


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## jenna (Apr 1, 2005)

i didn't love Pulp Fiction, to be honest, but it definitely doesn't come close to my worst film list. if that's as bad a film as you've seen, you're  doing pretty well!


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## a|one (Apr 1, 2005)

eccles_1960 said:
			
		

> OK, I have to hold my hands up and say "I just didn't get it".
> Totally personal choice, I didn't enjoy the film.
> Again, maybe I'm looking at it from the wrong slant. I think Mr Tarantino tried to make a great gangster movie and failed.
> Some of my friends agree, some don't and say the movie was great.



Well... what didnt you get about it? I dont know that it had a particular moral or deeper meaning, I think it was just a "What if?" movie about gangsters, drugs, and people. If you want to see a QT gangster movie rent Reservoir Dogs.


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## Andyhug (Apr 1, 2005)

Old Nick said:
			
		

> Hmm... you people can't have watched to many movies...
> If you'd follow me into my local video rental, I'd easily point out some 20 or 30 movies that would make you worship most of the movies mentioned above. Seems to be a case of high expectations most of the times rather than the movie(s) actually beeing bad.
> 
> Anyway, go rent "Expect No Mercy".
> ...


 
Come on now I am sure it can't be much worse than

1. Hell Train - Starring Hugh Grant (I think thats what its called)

But if it is then I might have to watch it, just for the sheer fact that it is..well..worse than Hell Train - Starring Hugh Grant. And please, if you read this, humor me and tell me about this "Expect No Mercy" and why it is so bad. Watching a bad film isn't particularly funny but talking about how bad it is afterwards just cracks me up  

2. Matrix Sequels. That action is good. The Rest is WORSE than bad!

3. D&D. there is so much about this film that is bad! What is with having mordern day american "in the hood" type character in a medievil world full of wizards and dragons? And the main character who starts off as a small time thief just happens to be perhaps the greatest swordsman I have ever seen in a film, and he doesnt even train!

4. Schindler's List. Just found it boring, just the type of person I am!

5. Scar Face. I guess the reason I don't like this is because of all the hype I heard about it from my friends. It really dissapointed me, yet another film I switched off before the end.

I am thinking of writing a film script about a dog (Yes a dog) that has learned to walk and talk and he wishes to become a lawyer. However being a dog not many people take him seriously so he has a hard time fulfilling his dream. I want to make the entire mood of the film very serious with no or little humour.
Anyone think this would work as a film?


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## eccles_1960 (Apr 1, 2005)

a|one said:
			
		

> Well... what didnt you get about it? I dont know that it had a particular moral or deeper meaning, I think it was just a "What if?" movie about gangsters, drugs, and people. If you want to see a QT gangster movie rent Reservoir Dogs.


 
OK, I'll take you up on that one. 
That's one I haven't seen, so I will take your advice and give it a look.
To be hard on myself, I probably don't give some films a fair chance. A lot of movies I dismiss I just don;t fancy seeing.
Heyho, one of my failings I guess.


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## Old Nick (Apr 1, 2005)

Andyhug said:
			
		

> Come on now I am sure it can't be much worse than
> 
> 1. Hell Train
> 2. Matrix Sequels.
> ...


 
You obviously haven't seen Expect no Mercy.
EnM, eventhough it actually has some good martial artists in it, manages to not have a singel good action scene.
Still, the "action" scenes are by far the best parts of this movie...


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## Isolde (Apr 1, 2005)

Satyricon, directed by Fellini.  UGH!  Pedophiles in ancient Rome.

Akira.  Japanese animé.

Howard the Duck.

Lost Highway, directed by David Lynch.  I had a migraine after I saw that.

Red Heat.  I fell asleep in that snoozer.


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## Andyhug (Apr 4, 2005)

Isolde said:
			
		

> Satyricon, directed by Fellini. UGH! Pedophiles in ancient Rome.
> 
> Akira. Japanese animé.
> 
> ...


 
You seriously think Akira is bad? Oh well no accounting for taste I suppose!


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 4, 2005)

Lost Highway by David Lynch is not that bad.


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## ravenus (Apr 4, 2005)

I personally loved Akira (haven't read the comics). Involving narrative and awesome spectacle.


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## Winters_Sorrow (Apr 4, 2005)

Akira is truly odd and a real mind-bender if you don't know what you're getting into, mind.

I think Ghost in the Shell is a more accessible film for those starting out on Manga movies - Akira is so 'out there' it could easily put you off (even though I love them crazy japanese!  )


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 4, 2005)

Vampire Hunter D or Ninja Scroll are probably the best films to watch for somebody new to the genre.


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## Andyhug (Apr 4, 2005)

Any of you ever watch DevilMan? I tried so hard to get the follow ons but I just could not find them. I'm older now though and I have fund's at my disposal ^^ Anyone know a good place to look into getting the follow ons of DevilMan? I've searched the net and I couldnt find squit diddely


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 4, 2005)

Download them.  I am not telling you to do something illegal.   

200 plus hits on Shareaza - if I was kind I would get them for you.


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 4, 2005)

I enjoyed the first 2 episodes of Devilman, when I went looking for the rest I discovered that they were still in Japanese without subtitles and unavailable anywhere except Japan.

Has that changed?


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## Alia (Apr 6, 2005)

Create a short list... let me think, what is the worse movie I have ever seen.

*Army of Darkness with Bruce Campbell*

Short enough?  There are others but that is the first one on my list!  Dwndrgn, I agree with Battlefield Earth, that was a bad one too!

Alia


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## Isolde (Apr 6, 2005)

LOL!! I loved Army of Darkness!


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## Alia (Apr 6, 2005)

My husband loves it too, and I'm sorry to admit we actually own it.  Thank heavens only on VHS and not on DVD.  I can't take the bad one liners 'oh baby give me some sugar'  or 'that's just pillow talk' and acting... well I won't go into that.


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## Damage1978 (Apr 7, 2005)

1. Matrix sequels - A real let down. 
2. Hellboy - Turned off half way through. 
3. Anger Management, Adam Sandler - Just not funny at all. 
4. Out for a kill, Steven Seagal - Just plain BAD. 
5. Gigli - Worst movie of all time, only redeeming feature was a certain body part of the female lead.


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## a|one (Apr 8, 2005)

I thought Akira was awesome, probably my favorite anime next to the Cowboy Bebop movie. For series I like Kenshin/Bebop/Evangelion. Saw Vampire Hunter D on TV a couple times, it just seemed really slow paced. Ninja scroll wasnt bad though.


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## angrybuddhist (Apr 9, 2005)

Isolde said:
			
		

> LOL!! I loved Army of Darkness!


Me, too.  "Shop smart, shop "S" Mart."
One of the worst movies in the fantasy genre is Van Helsing. I saw it in the theater and wasn't impressed, and later inexplicably bought the dvd for ten bucks. Luckily, I was able to pawn it off on a buddy for 10 bucks, three days later.
Another really bad movie, imo, is Prospero's Books.  A really pretentious yawner.  Wonderful cure for insomnia, though.


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## zorcarepublic (Apr 9, 2005)

1) Sixth Day. OMG, any more anti-cloning propaganda and I'll rush out and bash the nearest religious fundie...

More detailed critique...

I just hate this film, because it makes scientists look like modern-day Frankensteins trying the end the world with their evil, heretical ideas, and those that hate cloning in any form look like angelic creatures who will surely get their reward...

I don't have any more films, mainly because if I don't like the review, I don't watch them. But I do remember one film that I only got to 2 minutes before walking out, disgusted...


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## Sibeling (Apr 10, 2005)

The worst film I have ever seen is Dumb And Dumber. This toilet humour thing makes me absolutely sick and I don't understand why would people make such stupid films and waste money to go to the cinema and watch it. 

(I saw it only because they were showing it on TV and I was in the same room with my brother who kept shouting - hey,look,he's gonna vomit now!Hahahaha!-The most terrible time in my life )


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## mahmer (Apr 20, 2005)

the worst film i ve ever watched is constantine,i m really sorry for my money and time,both of them wasted


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## Eradius Lore (Apr 20, 2005)

worst films of all time ay 

1 lord of the rings (all of them)
2 space marines
3 open water


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 20, 2005)

Lord of the Rings is the worst film you have ever seen?  Have you seen many films?  Do you own a TV?  Is there not a cinema near you?  Can you count to ten?


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 20, 2005)

Eradius Lore said:
			
		

> 1 lord of the rings (all of them)



I'm guessing that you also spend a lot of time in Games Workshop......


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 20, 2005)

"My Space Orks attack your Space Marines. I roll a 12, the book says that that means your Space Marines have to roll a double to defend themeselves."


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## Eradius Lore (Apr 20, 2005)

Tsujigiri said:
			
		

> I'm guessing that you also spend a lot of time in Games Workshop......


 


			
				Lacedaemonian said:
			
		

> "My Space Orks attack your Space Marines. I roll a 12, the book says that that means your Space Marines have to roll a double to defend themeselves."


 
what is with you people. you have something against warhammer 40k as well as star wars. i bet you are the kind of people who go train spotin. i bet you don't even listen to rock music, you bunch of robe wearing rap junkies


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 20, 2005)

I actually go to Gamesworkshop, and have for the past 15 years or so.  

Warhammer 40k + Star Wars = stereotypical nerd.  But I guess that's why you are using this site.  We are all nerds in our different ways, it's just I manage to pass it off as cool.


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 20, 2005)

I feel about the same urge to justify myself here as I would if attacked by a ferocious kitten.....

I only wear robes at Klan meetings  
Judging from your listed birthday you weren't even alive when I started listening to rock music...and 40k is a very simplistic game...has to be really.


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 20, 2005)

Ah so you do attend the lodge.....


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## Eradius Lore (Apr 20, 2005)

Lacedaemonian said:
			
		

> I actually go to Gamesworkshop, and have for the past 15 years or so.
> 
> Warhammer 40k + Star Wars = stereotypical nerd. But I guess that's why you are using this site. We are all nerds in our different ways, it's just I manage to pass it off as cool.


 
i am not a nerd thank you. i have never seen a nerd at a system of a down concert and i never will. can we please get off the topic of insults and Prejudice ok.


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 20, 2005)

Only when there's a burning Lacey 

Eradius, just having a little sport with you fella, couldn't resist.

I'm a games designer and have been for about 10 years, I also till recently sang in a rock band....badly


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## Eradius Lore (Apr 20, 2005)

Tsujigiri

what rock bands you into.

im into:

iron maiden
megadeath
metallica
pantara
icedearth
AC/DC
blacksabbath
system of the down

to name a few


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 20, 2005)

Gah, what a question.

I like almost everything from A Perfect Circle through to ZZ Top, at the moment I'm partial to Lacuna Coil, listening to the new Circle Album 'Emotive' and just re-exploring Tiamat and Fields of the Nephilim.

In the car at the moment I'm listening to Finger Eleven 'Grayest of Blue Skies' and Iron Maiden Best of the Beast....I bought the new F11 album...but I'm not to impressed.


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 21, 2005)

Of course you are a nerd.  We are all nerds here.  This forum is a haven for outcasts.  

One day Grant you will lose your kung fu skills, and then it will be just down to a base animalistic fight.  I might send a demon to suck the kung fu from you.


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## polymorphikos (Apr 21, 2005)

Heavy music is one of the most attractive of all genres for the common garden nerd. Much like how The Sweetest Thing is arguably the dumbest movie I have ever seen, and must be destroyed.


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## Teresa Edgerton (Apr 21, 2005)

_Planet of Blood_, beyond a doubt the worst movie ever.  

In which, after the alien female bleeds to death from a tiny scratch, one of the characters speaks the immortal line:  "Hemophilia.  Why ... she must be some sort of royalty on her planet."

Even George Lucas doesn't make movies as bad as that one.


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## Leto (Apr 21, 2005)

That may be because Lucas stand through all his biology courses in high school. And know hemophilia and womanhood are incompatible.

Every movie by Claude Lelouch can burn and disappear totally, at least whe won't see hime anymore on TV whining that nobody go to see them.


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 21, 2005)

Lacedaemonian said:
			
		

> One day Grant you will lose your kung fu skills, and then it will be just down to a base animalistic fight. I might send a demon to suck the kung fu from you.



How exactly would this demon be sucking....?


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## garreth Jacks (Apr 21, 2005)

attack of the killer tomatoes
 the title says it all


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 21, 2005)

*Yaoguai of Wuxia.   *


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## Princess Ivy (Apr 21, 2005)

garreth Jacks said:
			
		

> attack of the killer tomatoes
> the title says it all


This was a comedy classic, closely followed by its sequel, return of the killer tomatoes


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy (Apr 21, 2005)

polymorphikos said:
			
		

> Much like how The Sweetest Thing is arguably the dumbest movie I have ever seen, and must be destroyed.


 
I second that. If anyone out there thinks Cameron Diaz is kinda nifty, please do yourself a favour - avoid this stinkbomb of a flick.


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## Lacedaemonian (Apr 21, 2005)

"Your too big to fit in here...."


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## mahmer (Apr 21, 2005)

Alone in the dark(film alert)keep away from this movie otherwise u ll kill ur dvd seller(yes i killed him)


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## Winters_Sorrow (Apr 21, 2005)

knivesout said:
			
		

> I second that. If anyone out there thinks Cameron Diaz is kinda nifty, please do yourself a favour - avoid this stinkbomb of a flick.


 
well, we don't watch her movies for her acting anyways....  

mind you I think there's a lot of bad 'actors' out there - surely it isn't acting if you play yourself in every movie??


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## ravenus (Apr 21, 2005)

Winters_Sorrow said:
			
		

> mind you I think there's a lot of bad 'actors' out there - surely it isn't acting if you play yourself in every movie??


Wohohoho. He 'acted' in _The Shining_ and his first name is Jack.


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## Frey Slayer (Apr 26, 2005)

Just found this thread and have to comment. 

If you can count "positive press" against a movie then my worst movie of all time is "The English Patient" 

All I heard was how great this film was and my god it took me all freakin day to watch it. It was soooooo boring I could only watch it in 10 minute spans before needing to take a break. 
I understand that the cinematography and acting and the costumes were all wonderful, but a film still needs a plot.  Just my opinion. 

Without counting positive press there was some movie about reincarnation made years ago starring Jacklyn Smith. I swear by all thats holy every girl Ive ever gone out with has made me watch that piece of crap. bleah . No mas! No mas!


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## MoonLover (Apr 27, 2005)

I think the worst movie I've ever sat through was "The Remains Of The Day" with Anthony Hopkins. The entire climax of the film consisted of him dropping a bottle of wine and cussing "oh damn". That was it. Another shocker I saw once was "What Dreams May Come" in which every single scene involved someone crying. And I shudder to think how much of the world's resources went into making "The 13th Warrior".

Karen


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## Jayaprakash Satyamurthy (Apr 27, 2005)

Couldn't disagree with you more on Remains of th eday. I thought it was a moving and memorable character study with a lot to think about. A bit slow, but the life of an English domestic in the pre-war period could hardly have been one of hi-jinks.


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## littlemissattitude (Apr 28, 2005)

I liked "The English Patient".  Yeah, it was kind of long and, yeah, it didn't have that much action.  But I thought it was an interesting story.  And, hey, it had an archaeologist as a character.  That gets it points right off the bat.


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## a|one (Apr 28, 2005)

Lol attack of the killer tomatoes... I'd completely forgotten that movie, now im going to be hummming the theme song all day.


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## a|one (Apr 28, 2005)

zorcarepublic said:
			
		

> 1) Sixth Day. OMG, any more anti-cloning propaganda and I'll rush out and bash the nearest religious fundie...



Sixth Day wasn't a bad movie. I mean I agree that there's lots of good ways cloning could be put to use, but if it was controlled by multinational corporations(which it most likely would be)  I can see something like that happening, only this time Arny will be too busy winning elections to save us all.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 28, 2005)

Dungeons and Dragons - that film had me reaching for the cyanide.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 28, 2005)

Worst in terms of production, script, and acting at least. The *worst* film of all time - as in the most evil film of all time - is shared in equal place by the three films that make up Lord of the Rings trilogy. What a way to pay Tolkien back; turning LOTR into the very thing he hated - commercialized pop culture crap. Peter Jackson is a criminal.


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## ravenus (Apr 28, 2005)

Peter Jackson has probaby induced more people to pick up and read Tolkien's book than anybody else has. Even I tried to...and dropped out after the first book which I thought was too verbose, boring and cliched for my interest


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 28, 2005)

Cliche? Cliche!? It's not smegging cliche for the simple reason that those cliches didn't exist before it's creation! The Lord of the Rings is the basis for all modern fantasy! Elves and goblins were still four inches tall before LOTR for smeg's sake! And don't smile whilst you're insulting something - it's not clever, it's just infuriating.


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## Leto (Apr 28, 2005)

TheManInTheBowlerHat said:
			
		

> Cliche? Cliche!? It's not smegging cliche for the simple reason that those cliches didn't exist before it's creation! The Lord of the Rings is the basis for all modern fantasy! Elves and goblins were still four inches tall before LOTR for smeg's sake! And don't smile whilst you're insulting something - it's not clever, it's just infuriating.


Err, wrong. Lord Dunsany's elves were already taller than humans.
But yes at the time it wasn't so cliché that it is now that any "fantasy author" is copying JRRT style. And I'm too on the "too verbose style" of LOTR.


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## Winters_Sorrow (Apr 28, 2005)

I see where you're coming from but if ravenus, like me, read LotR in the 80s not the 60s when it came out, then it IS cliched - because there were loads of books I read before it, with elves & goblins etc
Just because it started something original doesn't stop it being a cliche when you view it after the fact.
The definition of originality is something you've never seen before - I had. The fact they were LotR clones doesn't matter.

As it happens, although I love the man's vision and scope. I too found the books hard to get through - the obsessive level of detail makes certain sections of the books drag as nothing seems to happen.
Just my tuppence worth


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## Tsujigiri (Apr 28, 2005)

I read the Narnia series before I read the Hobbit and the LoTR when I was betweent he gaes of 7-9, so it wasn't cliched to me although some of the subtext in LoTR was lost on me at that age thankfully. (Legolas and Gimli...please..glad I missed that one).


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 28, 2005)

That's true - I am sorry, Ravenus. Do forgive me. **composes himself** We're speaking at cross purposes I think - I was attempting to defend Tolkien's ability as a writer. LOTR was - when it was written - mould-breaking. Tolkien wasn't able to work of an already established genre, because to a degree he had to create one.


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## GOLLUM (Apr 28, 2005)

Hi all!  

Hmm.. worst Sci Fi film would have to be Battlefield Earth Yikes!!    Actually better make that worst film ever..


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## ravenus (Apr 28, 2005)

I'm not talking about the size of elves here, I care two hoots for that. I'm talking characters. Do Tolkien's characters strike me as well-rounded individuals with interesting shades to their personality? Do they interest me as individuals, no matter what race they belong to? A very big NO. They were to me just pieces of cardboard to carry along what I consider a not very gripping plotline.


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## mazikos44 (Apr 28, 2005)

In terms of production values,if you know what to expect then these films can be can be enjoyed,the films of Ed Wood,The Three Stooges etc,what does annoy me is when the film has the budget but doesnt deliver.
 Films that come to mind are Daredevil,The Hulk,Amistad,Nixon.Star Wars2,The Doors etc.
 Then there are the films that some critics rave about and against your better judgement,you take a chance and watch,only to find that afterwards you say to yourself,"what the hell was that film about?"
 These are films like Mulholland Drive, Pres Rien and The Man who fell to earth.totally self indulgent film making.


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## Alia (Apr 28, 2005)

> Peter Jackson has probaby induced more people to pick up and read Tolkien's book than anybody else has. Even I tried to...and dropped out after the first book which I thought was too verbose, boring and cliched for my interest


 I have to join the band wagon on this too... I found the books 'too verbose' also. I put the books down to never pick them back up again until after I watched the first movie. Then it took me a few weeks to read all three. I enjoyed the story, but they were quite long, at times boring and very verbose!  The movies, in my opinion, was what encouraged me to continue and finish reading them. 



> Battlefield Earth


 I agree with you too Gollum on this. A waste of my precious time.  But still my all time dislike (the movie my husband keeps hidden so I can't throw it out) is The Army of Darkness.  Another that some one named earlier in this thread and I totally agree with is Dumb and Dumber.  YUCK!!


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## Leto (Apr 28, 2005)

What did Ash do to you to generate so much hate ?


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## Alia (Apr 28, 2005)

No hate...
I just couldn't stand his voice saying those stupid one liners. 'Give me some sugar baby' or 'that's what we call pillow talk'.
There's more, but it's been a few weeks since I've seen the movie. They actually showed it on TV. What is this world coming too?


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## Leto (Apr 28, 2005)

Too bad I missed it. I'm a great fan of Evil Dead (all 3 of them) and of Bruce Campbell (I was at first typing Brisco County). 
As the all sentence say : "To each one, her bad tastes."


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## Alia (Apr 28, 2005)

> As the all sentence say : "To each one, her bad tastes."


 Right back at ya!   
I just seen Bruce Campbell the other day in another show, he is starting to look a little more rounder these days.


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## Leto (Apr 28, 2005)

Yup, that's man getting older for you but the Chin is still there. And roughly he's still quite well preserved. And I love teddy bears.  

Now, for worst movies, the list is so long... As an example, any one directed Jan Kounen (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0468007/), saw Blueberry on TV a few weeks ago. 
Still fighting to understand : 
1- the story
2- the relation with Gir (aka Moebius) comic of the same name.

This guy should be banned from any camera.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

ravenus said:
			
		

> I'm not talking about the size of elves here, I care two hoots for that. I'm talking characters. Do Tolkien's characters strike me as well-rounded individuals with interesting shades to their personality? Do they interest me as individuals, no matter what race they belong to? A very big NO. They were to me just pieces of cardboard to carry along what I consider a not very gripping plotline.


 
Yes...that is quite true...

It does however have nothing to do with my original point. It's disrespectful. Intially they even had trouble getting the book published because Tolkien was so anti-corporate. He hated the radio series, and I very much get the impression from reading his biography that he would have hated this. I may be wrong - we'll never know - but I'm pretty confident he wouldn't have liked it. There was good reason for his estate to oppose it's production. It doesn't matter what you think of the books, I would hate to think that in the future my writing - which is packed full of anti-religious sentiment - would be used as a religious parabale. It's exactly the same thing, Tolkien wasn't keen at all on the modern world, and now LOTR has become a symbol of popular culture.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

( Just to clarify - I realise that the Lord of the Rings was also a major cultural icon in the 60s - but it was the bible of a youth movement that was entirely different from the consumer-driven one of today. )


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## ravenus (Apr 29, 2005)

TheManInTheBowlerHat said:
			
		

> Intially they even had trouble getting the book published because Tolkien was so anti-corporate.


So I take it all you Tolkien fans are disprespecting him by buying, reading and recommending a book he was so much opposed to getting published? 



> ( Just to clarify - I realise that the Lord of the Rings was also a major cultural icon in the 60s - but it was the bible of a youth movement that was entirely different from the consumer-driven one of today. )


Far more sophisticated and imaginative writers than Tolkien have fallen victim to it...and frankly I think he got off much luckier than most, given that I haven't see too many serious criticisms of the film series, most of them falling in the niggling "this character didn't say this" and "they didn't show him doing that" category. Of course my view here is hardly an authoritative one given that I didn't not proceed beyond the first book.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

ravenus said:
			
		

> So I take it all you Tolkien fans are disprespecting him by buying, reading and recommending a book he was so much opposed to getting published?


 
No. The publishers had problems in dealing with him. If in the end he didn't want his book published it wouldn't have been.


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## ravenus (Apr 29, 2005)

What did he say? Print the book but don't charge for it?


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

ravenus said:
			
		

> What did he say? Print the book but don't charge for it?


 
Something to that effect, yes. 

White flag, alright? I surrender.


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## Winters_Sorrow (Apr 29, 2005)

I think what bowlerhatman (  ) is trying to say was that Tolkien wrote the LotR as an attempt to reinvigorate the types of stories he liked - nordic sagas and the like.
He never actually thought there was a market for this and was surprised by how much the world took to it. He enjoyed the fact it was appreciated but fought attempts for his work to be merchandised, serialised etc (his family don't seem to mind having wads of cash thrown at them, though.. )

He was disturbed by the obsessive nature of the fandom he had generated (Frodo-mania?  ) with some fans having Tolkien-inspired weddings! 
I think this turned him off his own creation partially!
The only reason he got rid of the film rights was that he didn't think it could be filmed (and, if it was done line for line he'd be right!)
I enjoyed the movies as I thought that, although the deviated from Tolkien's work at times, they were very faithful to the spirit behind the story. I thought Boromir's end was well done as was the inner conflict Aragorn had about becoming the leader he was born to be.

Having said that, I found the last movie to be the one with the most flaws in it! 
It was more disjointed than the others and I think not scourging the shire was a mistake - however, had they done so, other parts would have had to be sacrificed so I relunctantly accept it. I still would loved to have seen Saruman in the shire at the end!


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

Hurrah! Yes, that's what I meant!


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## ravenus (Apr 29, 2005)

heh, sorry if I sounded too aggressive here, didn't mean to.

But what I don't like is when people expect a film-maker to absolutely toe the line when it comes adaptations of another source...I think its sufficient if the essential spirit of the work is captured, after all even his creativity accounts for something...plus his limitations of what works within the maximum permissible length of a film: People read books over days, how many of these same people would devote that much time for a film?

And wrt LoTR I hate it when people wail about the absence of characters like Tom Bombadil. When I read the description of him in the book I was just thrown by how campy and awful he sounded, like a leftover from one of Enid Blyton's less inspired fairy stories. I am glad that Jackson's script had the good sense to excise the excrescence of Mr. Bombadil.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

ravenus said:
			
		

> heh, sorry if I sounded too aggressive here, didn't mean to.


 
Not at all! I'm sorry I used exclaimations points at you, I think perhaps I got a bit carried away. Tea? 



			
				ravenus said:
			
		

> But what I don't like is when people expect a film-maker to absolutely toe the line when it comes adaptations of another source...I think its sufficient if the essential spirit of the work is captured, after all even his creativity accounts for something...plus his limitations of what works within the maximum permissible length of a film: People read books over days, how many of these same people would devote that much time for a film?



Yep. I know what you mean. I don't think Tolkien would have liked to see it so heavily edited though, yet it would have simply been impossible to do otherwise - which is my main reason for suggesting it should not have been done.


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (Apr 29, 2005)

ravenus said:
			
		

> And wrt LoTR I hate it when people wail about the absence of characters like Tom Bombadil. When I read the description of him in the book I was just thrown by how campy and awful he sounded, like a leftover from one of Enid Blyton's less inspired fairy stories. I am glad that Jackson's script had the good sense to excise the excrescence of Mr. Bombadil.


 
Had I - under duress - been forced to produce an LOTR film, Bomadil I'm afraid would be the first part cut.


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## ravenus (Apr 29, 2005)

One of the parts I really liked in the LoTR movie was the end of Faramir...it was a really well-taken tragic moment, the almost absolute silence in which a swift and brutal death comes to him, juxtaposed against his callous father's gluttony...quite a nice bit that IMO.


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## Leto (Apr 29, 2005)

You mean Boromir ? IIRC, Faramir is alived in the end.

Except this one, what's your worst experience in movies ?


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## ravenus (Apr 29, 2005)

Leto said:
			
		

> You mean Boromir ? IIRC, Faramir is alived in the end.
> 
> Except this one, what's your worst experience in movies ?


 Ah sorry not killed but wounded grieveously...I forget. Then his dad tries to burn him down and stuff.
Oh I generally enjoyed LoTR as a movie...not too much because I found most of the characters dull or annoying or both, but as a lovely visual spectacle.

Some of my worst movie experiences are:

Ghostworld (boring whiny teen wants sympathy and understanding...not from me)
Eyes wide shut (what was this pseudo-profound movie with annoying nudity about? I liked other Kubricks like Shining and Full Metal Jacket and Lolita and Dr. Strangelove but this was godawful)
Possession (f-arty and utterly incoherent horror with Sam Neill and Isabelle Adjani)
Moulin Rouge


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## TheManInTheBowlerHat (May 1, 2005)

I have just died. I am sure of it. I was in the cinema. My whole life flashed before my eyes. Suddenly I felt disconnected from the world - as if a ghost. I sit here now -  basking in the glow of my burning 'Douglas Adams at the BBC' and 'The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy' Radio series CDs - and think, surely there must be a better world out there amongst the stars. Worst film of all time; 'The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy' (spit, kick in the ribs, spit)


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## aroura (May 12, 2005)

1.butterfly effect - killing for no reason, not even well directed, acted or written
2.the beach - rubbish, all films that derive from novels are always going to dissapoint
3.shark tale - robert do nero, why?? 
4.dogsville- why did they not tell you in the review, why did i spent all of £3.75 on it? 
5.shes all that - no, shes not. really.


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## Wanderer (May 13, 2005)

Alexander - the most boring film ever;
Chronicles of Riddick;
all teen movies........


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## don sky (May 13, 2005)

1.Dracula 3000 is possibly the worst movie in the universe! Cripes my dog could have directed a better movie than that.
2.I felt cheated when I left the movie theater after watching Once Upon A Time In Mexico. Even someone who wattched it for free would have asked for a refund.
3.King Arthur wasn't so terrible so much as disappointing. A ROMAN soldier? PLIIIIIIIIIIIIZ


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## don sky (May 13, 2005)

don sky said:
			
		

> 1.Dracula 3000 is possibly the worst movie in the universe! Cripes my dog could have directed a better movie than that.
> PLIIIIIIIIIIIIZ









Meet my dog


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## dustinzgirl (May 13, 2005)

Worst films so far:

StarshipTroopers 2 was a horrid second.  It had none of the same qualities as the first, and just sucked.  To much sexual overtones and not enough story.

SpongeBob SquarePants, because I have seen it 30000000000 times.  I want to squash him.

That is all I can think of right now, I know there are lots of others that I hate.


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## don sky (May 13, 2005)

can you see my dog, dustinzgirl?


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## Leto (May 13, 2005)

don, you have to upload your dog somewhere on the web in order to let it appear here. Try this site : http://tinypic.com


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## don sky (May 13, 2005)

how about now? Can you see him?


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## Leto (May 13, 2005)

Yep. Nice werewolf.Quite detailed.


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## don sky (May 13, 2005)

Leto said:
			
		

> Yep. Nice werewolf.Quite detailed.


Thank you, we feed him chicken and mashed potatoes mostly. You can find lots of these detailed pics on www.gamewallpapers.com They got really cool wallpapers (They make the posters themselves so they're unique. Wont find them anywhere else)


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## Amber (May 14, 2005)

The Hulk was pretty bad

The Grinch

Mnay more... which I'll add later


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