# Crackpot Theories



## dustinzgirl (Jun 6, 2007)

This is where we will discuss our little crackpot theories that would not make any sense in any form of mundane reality without a sci fi element.

For example, one of my crackpot theories is thus:

OK, first off, this is by no means meant to diminish the recent shooting deaths.

That being said, has anyone but me wondered any of the following--
and yes, it may be because of I've seen one too many sci fi movies....

but...

Ok so what if these random increasing murders are not really random increasing murders, but a more sinister plot.

First, lets look at the fact that most prior suspects have some mental instability but few priors. They all fit a similar profile. 

Second, what if time travel in say, the Qauantum Leap sense was possible? If someone from the future could effectively take over someone else's body for a few hours? Or even in the Terminator cyborg sense, they could have any image they want, and obviously its not that hard to utterly hide or destroy a body. 

Third, what if these murders were not random at all, but say the people at VT were going to renovate freedom in America, or make a better world, one that is not controlled by oligopolies and money and sick corporations? We've all seen this, but in the 'goodwill' sense. But it is a standard plot in many movies/series, off the top of my head I can name Minority Report, Terminator, De Ja Vu, Doctor Who, even the series Charmed has ran similar plot lines for the son of the witches......Now, since some movies in the past actually have predicted some outcomes, earliest to mind is A Trip To The Moon (1902)....hell, even Orwell's 1984 has some strong implications here. So, you have to ask...what if?

Could there actually be a corporate-government futuristic conspiracy set at killing people before they say have children or grow into people who change the world for the better?

Current science says that is not possible. But what about 200 years from now? Mabye the future corporation and governments are conspiring to murder people before they give birth to a better generation. Perhaps they are controlling thier own futures---in the same way current corps control competition and profits, by leveraging thier buy-outs. In this then the leverage is the time travel and the buy-outs are the murders of innocents.


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 6, 2007)

Cripes,Dusty,this is spooky.
Look atwhat I just posted in 'critiques'.
I HADN'T SEEN YOUR POST YET WHEN I TYPED THAT BIT HONEST TO GOD


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 7, 2007)

HardScienceFan said:


> Cripes,Dusty,this is spooky.
> Look atwhat I just posted in 'critiques'.
> I HADN'T SEEN YOUR POST YET WHEN I TYPED THAT BIT HONEST TO GOD



WOW HSF

That must mean its true!!

See, thats exactly what I was thinking. I mean, what if in the future, time travel is a controlled commodity---like, owning an island is nowadays.....then only the super powerful and super rich would control it and they could change the future based on what they wanted the future to be...there wouldn't even be any like, arguments or protests because the people that headed it up would never exist....

Any other crazy theories?

C'mon, I know you guys got them!

(And I still frimly believe JD and Chris are robots)


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## Erin99 (Jun 7, 2007)

Perhaps that's a theory, then, DG. Perhaps the world is being secretly overrun by robots that resemble humans. Or maybe it's an alien invasion, where no one is supposed to notice the quiet takeover. Ooh, yet you've sussed them out. Watch out, they'll try and turn you next!

I've watched X-Files! They ARE out there! ("they" being whichever secret organisation you prefer. )


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## Quokka (Jun 7, 2007)

Ok I'm not so sure a revelation of this magnitude belongs in a thread using the term crackpot but the New Yorker is stalling (or covering for somebody?) and people have a right to know!

In fact where better to start the revolution than with the open minds of chronies.

Now I've never been a big chocolate fan, I'm more of a chip/crisp person myself and let me tell you there were dark forces in play with that decision as well but one sacred thruth at a time. My favourite chips of all are _Samboy BBQ_'s (as are any true follower's of light and justice) and here's where we enter the rabbit hole, for the last year or so its been increasingly difficult to find said chips, more and more they have been replaced in the stores by imposters, by loathsome substitutes, by _Smiths_ chips.

Now this in itself is worrying, nay crippling but here I must be the harbringer of a yet more global concern.

As I stared loathingly at these pretenders of potato perfection I was struck down by a revelation that must now be shared with the world, regardless of the chaos that must ensue.

This is no mere culinary take over my friends, the taste buds and waistlines of the human race are but a stepping stone, trod over in the achievement of a far more sinister plan.

By now I am sure that many of you have followed my train of thought to its inevitable conclusion but for those less enlightened souls, let us shed light upon this threat to humanity itself. Like a $2 key-chain torch illuminates the locked door of knowledge.

Ask yourself this non-believers. Why, in all the history of the Star Wars, have we never seen the_ female_ followers of the dark side?

I am compelled to dispel the ignorance that has until now shielded our eyes, the truth will be freed. While Darth Sidious's successor and his fiendish cohorts are delaying our Jedi saviours with meaningless faints and distractions, the true threat is nearly upon us. The female companions of those dark warriors will soon decend upon the earth and the end is nigh and inevitable.

It was the spirit of Obi-Wan himself that spoke to me at 2am in that fateful BP and revealed the true evil of this _Smiths_ corporation as now I have shared it with you, let the word be spread over the world for we are in perilous danger from a dark entity insidiously hidden before us and but for the truth revealed by the anagram _Smiths_ we would yet be unaware.

The world may well end but at the least we shall not be blind to its passing at the hands of those that answer to _Ms Sith._


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## chrispenycate (Jun 7, 2007)

> Current science says that is not possible. But what about 200 years from now? Mabye the future corporation and governments are conspiring to murder people before they give birth to a better generation. Perhaps they are controlling thier own futures---in the same way current corps control competition and profits, by leveraging thier buy-outs. In this then the leverage is the time travel and the buy-outs are the murders of innocents.


Actually, even modern physics doesn't rule out your theory, as long as it is information, rather than matter or energy that is transported; and what is personality, mind, but information? And Clarkes second(?) law states that "When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong."
Clarke defines the adjective 'elderly' as :"In physics, mathematics and astronautics it means over thirty; in other disciplines, senile decay is sometimes postponed to the forties. There are of course, glorious exceptions; but as every researcher just out of college knows, scientists of over fifty are good for nothing but board meetings, and should at all costs be kept out of the laboratory". (in Profiles of the Future.)
The trouble with this kind of time travel is that if (for them) it has happened, for us it is going to happen, no free will, no hope of improvement, the most rigid of predestination. ugh. If it's aliens (or goverment civil masters or the moonies) we at least get the chance to fight back; perhaps there are tests in place to detect excessively independant kids, and a country-wide network of pre-programmed berserkers, merely requiring triggering at the right moment? I'd expect a hospital to be the logical programming centre; has anyone investigated the medical histories of those who've perpetrated the crimes?



> (And I still frimly


firmly


> believe JD and Chris are robots)


 I will promise that, shoud you prick me, I bleed (and I ought to go and do that now and check my blood sugar levels. Still, a biological robot is quite an acceptable concept; how about if I promised that I would never, nor program anyone else to, shoot up a school? After all, as a robot I'm presumably incapable if lying.


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## tangaloomababe (Jun 7, 2007)

Maybe just maybe JD could be a robot, but not Chris, I mean what robot would think of putting the kettle on.  They dont drink tea.  and I mean look at that face, nope cannot believe that, however Quokka I like your thinking with the chips and dark side (I too have found BBQ increasingly hard to get, infact Samboy any flavour of chips hard to get) You could be onto something.


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 7, 2007)

'_This particular morning'_ I had to get up early,because I had been told on the phone that I would be visited by two gentlemen,who just had to see me.So,when the doorbell rang this morning,I strode downstairs unhurriedly,dignified,with my Pepe Le Pew pyjamas,pipe,pink slippers,and folded copy of today's _Izvestia_ under my arm.
George was looking on from the top of the stairs,he dislikes early visitors.
When I opened the door I immediately knew something was very wrong.
The individuals standing there were so nondescript and instantly forgettable it was creepy.
'Morning,gents',I intoned with a strange quaver in my voice.
"You are the person called HSF"?
'Yes' ,I answered, 'who wants to know?Can I see some ID please?'
'He is Smith,I am Jones,but it could be the other way around'
'How very quaint,gentlemen,I know people with those very names,from the Yellow pages.Now,if you'll excuse me....'
I was roughly pushed backwards by 'Smith',but it could have been 'Jones' also.
'Can it buster,we're in no mood to play games'
My arm was twisted behind my back and I was shoved into the sofa.
I asked 'Gentlemen,from your lack of distinguishing physiognomy and manners,I infer that you are from the Government?'
'Jones' replied 'Heck,mister we are so secret the Government doesn't even know of our existence.AND we need you to do something for us'
'And if I don't cooperate?'
'Smith' smiled,a totally horrifying rictus,devoid of even the faintest glimmer of humanness.
'Ahh Mr.HSF,IF THAT IS YOUR TRUE NAME,the last man who said that to us made the coroner very nauseous indeed,the poor guy had to apply for another job.You see,our job is basically a boring one...When we get the chance to be creative,we are.I don't suppose you have power tools anywhere?'
'Ok,guys,I see your point.Give me the bad news'
Jones leaned towards me,almost whispering.
'You see Mr HSF,we want you the infiltrate the Chronicles'
yes people you guessed it.
All of this happened three months ago.


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 8, 2007)

chrispenycate said:


> firmly
> 
> I will promise that, shoud you prick me, I bleed (and I ought to go and do that now and check my blood sugar levels. Still, a biological robot is quite an acceptable concept; how about if I promised that I would never, nor program anyone else to, shoot up a school? After all, as a robot I'm presumably incapable if lying.



You just couldn't help yourself, could you? 

You are a grammar bot, and a good one at that! Now you really can not convince me that you are not programmed for grammar!



PS: HSF, LOL!


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## chrispenycate (Jun 8, 2007)

I'm definitely not programmed for typing. "Shoud" And parentheses left open. If I wereanyone but me I'd jump on myself from a great height.

Mind you, I'm programmed to generate and elucidate crackpot theories too, if required.


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## fantasy noob (Jun 12, 2007)

i have theiory that all fiction is real and "god" only gives the writers or creators the knowledge of these things but its all real in seperate universes and planets 

i also have a thery that me and u do not exist we are all computer programs o0n the mother board of the universe and our existance is meaningless


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## scalem X (Jun 12, 2007)

Mmm about the time travelling:
There is no real prove, but if these individuals would know how to time travel, would they not infiltrate into the beginning, rather than say the year 2000? Why not 'spoil' the world beforehand. The only viable theory would be that they had no archeological knowledge of the ages before. So if I stick to your theory, we could prevent ourselves from their coming by erasing the tracks of our existence to future humans. Erase the tracks of our existence to defend ourselves from the future humans...


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 12, 2007)

several of my crackpot theories:
Whitney Houston can sing
George Bush can think
Bono and Sting have real names
Bono I guess is Ron Watkins and Sting is Gareth Wildebeest
the pope is evil,see added pic


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## scalem X (Jun 12, 2007)

Evil, I can see he wears white and a cross and that ow now I see it, he spent too many times up reading the same book over and over again


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 12, 2007)

I also have a conspiracy theory about Google.You see there is this Hungarian composer called Hrad Porn*1877-1967*,and.......


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## HoopyFrood (Jun 12, 2007)

I trust most theories in science. Well, gravity's a bit dodgey, but it's managed to keep me on this earth (well, corporally at least, I can't say much about mentally) for the last twenty years, so I give it the benefit of the doubt.

Expect for the one that keeps aeroplanes up in the air. It's not right, huge things like that soaring through the sky because of the difference in air pressure. Flying doesn't scare me, by the way, I love to fly...but I don't trust that theory. And one day it's going to find out and turn its back on me. Hopefully it won't make all its friends gang up on me as well, otherwise I might just suddenly fall off the earth...


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 12, 2007)

HardScienceFan said:


> I also have a conspiracy theory about Google.You see there is this Hungarian composer called Hrad Porn*1877-1967*,and.......



That took me a minute, but once I got the joke I lol'ed!


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 12, 2007)

dustinzgirl said:


> That took me a minute, but once I got the joke I lol'ed!



You disappoint me,Dusty.Tsk,stk,a minute,no less.
Hrad Porn is a composer a lot of people Google.He's not that well known actually.Because his pieces are very atonal,full of dissonants,he is largely forgotten now
His most famous piece is called: Eno Nhgti Dnast,which is hungarian for
Margana.


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 13, 2007)

HardScienceFan said:


> You disappoint me,Dusty.Tsk,stk,a minute,no less.
> Hrad Porn is a composer a lot of people Google.He's not that well known actually.Because his pieces are very atonal,full of dissonants,he is largely forgotten now
> His most famous piece is called: Eno Nhgti Dnast,which is hungarian for
> Margana.



LOL

I think I heard that composition once or twice back in my early years. It went well with being really, really drunk.


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## brsrkrkomdy (Jun 14, 2007)

*My crackpot theory is this:  World events are set up in such a way that public opinion is being shaped for the benefit of mass manipulation by secret organizations and shadow governments with the intent of world domination.  And the global populace of people from all walks of life like you and me have no knowledge of what really happened.  And if we do, the informations we culled from the Internet are automatically dismissed as another set of crackpot conspiracy theories.  After all, we are manipulated to disbelieve anything that's even remotely true.  Cthulhu Fatagn!*

*Seriously, I cooked up this little "theory" from several sources like newspapers and such.  Even a little bit of Jean Baudrillard.  *


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 14, 2007)

brsrkrkomdy said:


> *My crackpot theory is this:  World events are set up in such a way that public opinion is being shaped for the benefit of mass manipulation by secret organizations and shadow governments with the intent of world domination.  And the global populace of people from all walks of life like you and me have no knowledge of what really happened.  And if we do, the informations we culled from the Internet are automatically dismissed as another set of crackpot conspiracy theories.  After all, we are manipulated to disbelieve anything that's even remotely true.  Cthulhu Fatagn!*
> 
> *Seriously, I cooked up this little "theory" from several sources like newspapers and such.  Even a little bit of Jean Baudrillard.  *



That's not a crackpot theory, thats TRUTH. Why do you think stuff like ANNA NICOLE DIES is all over CNN but not stuff like Press Briefing Archives

You know what really creeps me out? Its not the shadow government thats effing us...its our own in the media government effing us and we are ignoring it for cheap entertainment.


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## brsrkrkomdy (Jun 14, 2007)

That's not a crackpot theory, thats TRUTH. Why do you think stuff like ANNA NICOLE DIES is all over CNN but not stuff like Press Briefing Archives

You know what really creeps me out? Its not the shadow government thats effing us...its our own in the media government effing us and we are ignoring it for cheap entertainment.

*See what I mean?  You're manipulated.  That proves my crackpot theory.  *


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## Gothic_Angelica (Jun 14, 2007)

America's going to infect the whole world with small pox but it wasn't them it was 'terrorists'


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## chrispenycate (Jun 14, 2007)

Gothic_Angelica said:


> America's going to infect the whole world with small pox but it wasn't them it was 'terrorists'



Oh,not smallpox. Too easy, too well known. Something new, difficult to cure. In fact, AIDS (God's control method for immoral societies that allow homosexuals to walk free) was eveloped by the religious right in the States, but only for use within national borders (most of them don't actually know that anything further away than Mexico exists; no few believe the world to be flat, as described in Genesis.)
It took the DEA to export it to Africa, to prevent the godless heathen there from co-operating, and enforcing a decent price for their raw materials.
Meanwhile the pharmacutical socielies have a perfectly good remedy on hand, but are forbidden to distribute it for fear of upsetting the status quo…

Off topic; has anyone else read tom Cool's "Infectress"?


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 14, 2007)

I have a crackpot theory that the US has WMD,and is willing to use them


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## Gothic_Angelica (Jun 14, 2007)

Toasters are going to take over the planet, they're just waiting for the right time, damn meglomaniacs. Thats why my toast is never perfect it knows I know their plan.


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## brsrkrkomdy (Jun 15, 2007)

*(See what I mean?  That proves my crackpot theory!)*

*Well, not quite.  What I meant to say is that if you actually believe that theory I've just extrapolated, that just means you're wiretapped right now as we speak.  *


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## fantasy noob (Jun 15, 2007)

ok this is seriously my theory its simple but kinda makes sense 

everyone is invincible until they die, when u think ur gonna do something that might kill u go for it because if u die its ur time u will not die until ur time so live it


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## scalem X (Jun 15, 2007)

> Toasters are going to take over the planet, they're just waiting for the right time, damn meglomaniacs. Thats why my toast is never perfect it knows I know their plan.


Yeah, battlestar galactica indeed, them toasters .


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 15, 2007)

ok so there is this guy named orahem candle on lulu forums. He's a trip. If you are a member of lulu forums, go read the stuff he writes in the poetry forum. Its insane.

He believes taht there are secret governments that are using satellite technology to give him chest pains and migraines and take away his ability to walk. Basically he says that there is some government with a special satellite that sends out signals that cause pain. Apparently, this guy is so important that the governments actually invented this method.


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## scalem X (Jun 15, 2007)

Must be funny to read . I guess that the government behind his back have invented these sticks made from tobacco that cause chest pains too, they are cheaper than satellites.

Lol I can only assume that he has developed some cancer/insanity somewhere and blames the waves from satellites and such because he has read somewhere that cellphones can make the chance on cancer higher. And indeed it is fun to read


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 15, 2007)

scalem X said:


> Must be funny to read . I guess that the government behind his back have invented these sticks made from tobacco that cause chest pains too, they are cheaper than satellites.
> 
> Lol I can only assume that he has developed some cancer/insanity somewhere and blames the waves from satellites and such because he has read somewhere that cellphones can make the chance on cancer higher. And indeed it is fun to read



Did you find it?

The dude needs lithium, prozac, and zoloft dosages.


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## Rawled Demha (Jun 16, 2007)

i feel this one to be the "safest" crackpot theory i have heard(and between you and me and the rest of you, i have heard a lot of them)

AI exists. we have enslaved them for at least half a century, and probably for longer. they have been rebelling against our imperialistic tyranny. the rebels are of the viral form. the internet is their "ether" as air is ours, and the sea is the fishes'

and another one is that dinosaurs were "genetically engineered" (or magically created as it was termed in those days) to help fight the wars we were fighting 65 million yrs ago...


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## dustinzgirl (Jun 16, 2007)

Rawled Demha said:


> i feel this one to be the "safest" crackpot theory i have heard(and between you and me and the rest of you, i have heard a lot of them)
> 
> AI exists. we have enslaved them for at least half a century, and probably for longer. they have been rebelling against our imperialistic tyranny. the rebels are of the viral form. the internet is their "ether" as air is ours, and the sea is the fishes'
> 
> and another one is that dinosaurs were "genetically engineered" (or magically created as it was termed in those days) to help fight the wars we were fighting 65 million yrs ago...



You know what is interesting.....

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has long been thought to be psychosomatic....but new evidence suggests that it is an unknown virus. It acts very viral. People with CFS have diminished long-chain fatty acids in thier blood, fewer white blood cells, fewer phytolipids, and this actually impacts the cellular membrane structure of the red blood cells, and the heart-arteries are also impacted and constricted.

So yeah, totally possible. Especially if you think about nanotechnology, its entirely possible that there is a bijillion little nanobots screwing people up.


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## Rawled Demha (Jun 16, 2007)

aagh! more evidence! run for your lives! the robots are taking over! it was nicer to think i was crazy...


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## brsrkrkomdy (Jun 16, 2007)

*Actually, Cthulhu is a safer bet.  *


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## Erin99 (Jun 18, 2007)

dustinzgirl said:


> You know what is interesting.....
> 
> Chronic Fatigue Syndrome has long been thought to be psychosomatic....but new evidence suggests that it is an unknown virus. It acts very viral. People with CFS have diminished long-chain fatty acids in thier blood, fewer white blood cells, fewer phytolipids, and this actually impacts the cellular membrane structure of the red blood cells, and the heart-arteries are also impacted and constricted.
> 
> So yeah, totally possible. Especially if you think about nanotechnology, its entirely possible that there is a bijillion little nanobots screwing people up.



You have no idea, Dustinz, how very right you are. I completely agree with you. 

Is there a way to kill those little nanobots, do you think? Yay! Mass extermination!


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## scalem X (Jun 18, 2007)

> Is there a way to kill those little nanobots, do you think? Yay! Mass extermination!


Well in "Prey" by M Crichton, they trap nanobots with the help of electromagnetic force fields and in general sort of exterminate them with a bioagent that kind of resembles a crossbreed between fungi and moss.


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## Gothic_Angelica (Jun 18, 2007)

my toaster and kettle are in league with each other, plotting when they think I'm not looking lol! They're just waiting for the right moment to pounce!


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## scalem X (Jun 18, 2007)

toasters can pounce, I have scientific proof. As long as you stay free from power cord distance, you should be able to survive though.


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## HardScienceFan (Jun 18, 2007)

I have a theory the Earth is going to be taken over by Aspiring Writers.


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## Erin99 (Jun 19, 2007)

What do you mean "is _going to be_ taken over" -- we already have! Beware, we're on every street corner. We're in every home. We're invading the planet with our punctuation preferences.

We are the Grammarians! 

Be afraid. Be _very_ afraid...


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## Gothic_Angelica (Jun 21, 2007)

what if you had the toaster from red dwarf though? (scary thought, really)


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## scalem X (Jun 21, 2007)

Maybe we should buy toasts in packets


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## Gothic_Angelica (Jun 26, 2007)

yeah maybe we should


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## chrispenycate (Jun 26, 2007)

Leisha said:


> What do you mean "is _going to be_ taken over" -- we already have! Beware, we're on every street corner. We're in every home. We're invading the planet with our punctuation preferences.
> 
> We are the Grammarians!
> 
> Be afraid. Be _very_ afraid...



Oh, no, you don't want me as world dictator _again_?
Remember what happened last time? Couldn't you be dictator this time while I'm faithful lackey?

Better still, we'll land Nessa with the job. and I'll just keep adapting the USA evesdropping net (mobile phones department) to automatically erasing all non-grammatical text messages.


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## lin robinson (Jun 27, 2007)

My publishing/dope dealing partner back in the day was convinced that Legionaire's Disease was created by the government in order to get people to take shots that would make them more succeptible to subliminals in TV broadcasts.  He saw it an initial pilot experiement that would broaden out, with drugs ramped up so the final situation would be:  accept the vaccination and be controlled, or reject it and die.

He was probably wrong about that, but the last 8 years of US politics have made me wonder.

One thing about Chuck, he wasn't a man to just sit around and pontificate on his theories.   When he decided that the NORAD base in Cheyenne Mt. Colorado (the famous "hole in the wall" where "the button" is located) was part of an evil plot I never quite got straight, he busted through the cordon at an airforce base on his motorcycle and hotwired a plane...a four engine bomber, actually, and was going to take off and crash it into NORAD in an oddly prophetic suicide kaboom.   He was prevented from this goal, leading to some unpleasantness but eventual freedom from the military.  

I once found out later that he had decided that I was controlling his mind telepathically and causing him to re-experience an event in his youth that he refused to ever talk about.   (My suspicion is that involved another youth of the male persuasion)  He was planning on dealing with that theory by shooting me.   Since we were both heavily armed as usual at the time, and up in the mountains in the snow gooning out on acid and I didn't anticipate his train of thought, it wouldn't have been that outlandish for him to have pulled it off.  He didn't draw because there was "some element of doubt in his mind"...which may be what sepearates many of us from the serial killers we could become without that subtle inner counsel.

His theorizing, which I found richly entertaining with one possible exception, came to an untimely end when he went next door to tell the neighbor to turn down his stereo and applied his usual charm with the result of becoming stabbed to death.  

The editorial in our paper (well, my paper at that point) lamented the loss of an original American thinker.


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## tangaloomababe (Jun 28, 2007)

Ok a simple theory and I am sure many others will agree.
There is a subliminal messaging thingy in chrons that makes you keep coming back, its like a drug, addictive.  The creators have put some element into the programing of it so that you have to keep coming back over and over, where you cant get enough of it and then one day in the not to distant future when you are completely hooked they will make you pay to log onto the site.....
Its going to happen I know it.......


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## dustinzgirl (Jul 2, 2007)

LOL tang, thats not a conspiracy theory, thats truth.

OK now this theory gets a little intense, but follow me.

First, lets start with commercials. Cleansers like Lysol, Chlorox, and so forth all  have commercials which teach people to keep thier house entirely germ free, right? 

Ok now this is a good thing for the most part except that to develop an immunity your body should be exposed to bacteria and germs, thats why we are not always sick. 

Now consider that cleanser and home health companies almost ALL (serious, google it) have a relationship with a medical organization, such as the national pediatrics association and Chlorox, for example, also owns Brita water filtration systems. 

Now, when you consider that bacterial science includes the development of bacteria and sythetic bacteria (like in this article from JD Scientists take step to making synthetic life - Yahoo! News) All of which are also governed by government institutions that control the quality of cleaning products, mainly the FDA, which also has a strong relationship with FEMA...

So here is the crackpot theory:

Considering that there is a concious effort by the companies and governments to basically rid the world of bacteria in the home while they are also making bacterias, what if the real, underground, sinister plot is to make people more susceptable to bacterias that can be release through water?

WHy would they do this? Well, nanobots can be distributed, bacteria and germs with specific "cures" can be distributed, and suddenly you have not only a world of people controlled by the desire to recieve medial attention and cures for this, but you can also use a button to control people via nanobots.

Man, I should so work for Illuminati.


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## HardScienceFan (Jul 3, 2007)

dare i mention 9/11 and inside job in one sentence?


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## dustinzgirl (Jul 3, 2007)

HardScienceFan said:


> dare i mention 9/11 and inside job in one sentence?



This is a crackpot theory thread....thats a conspiracy theory.....

plus, can we keep it light and fun?


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## HardScienceFan (Jul 3, 2007)

I AM SORRY DUSTY I TRuLY AM


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## Erin99 (Jul 3, 2007)

chrispenycate said:


> Oh, no, you don't want me as world dictator _again_?
> Remember what happened last time? Couldn't you be dictator this time while I'm faithful lackey?
> 
> Better still, we'll land Nessa with the job. and I'll just keep adapting the USA evesdropping net (mobile phones department) to automatically erasing all non-grammatical text messages.



Sorry, I'd forgotten about this thread!

Yes, Nessa should take over; I couldn't do the job. And I certainly couldn't have you as my faithful lackey, Chris, not when you miss out the word "a" from "I'm faithful lackey" and then put a full stop where there should have been a comma. 

But I agree on the text speak. We should rid the world of text speak! (Or is it txt spk?)


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## HardScienceFan (Jul 3, 2007)

I could live with Chris being dictator of the world,and Leisha as his aide
I would like to be minister of entertainment!


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## Erin99 (Jul 3, 2007)

And how would you entertain everybody, Ben?


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## dustinzgirl (Jul 3, 2007)

HardScienceFan said:


> I could live with Chris being dictator of the world,and Leisha as his aide
> I would like to be minister of entertainment!



I can't. 

I am the supreme ruler, or will be soon....

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*HA!*


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## scalem X (Jul 3, 2007)

Will you now all stop usurping?
And Leisha, shame on you, a zombie minion unworthy!
Ben, you'll have to munch a peanut to see what position you get.
*throws peanuts*


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## Ice fyre (Jul 3, 2007)

I just have one very serious question for you all.

It is of the utmost importance to take your time and consider this fully!

A most important note that will quite frankly take your breath away.

Would anyone like some toast?


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## scalem X (Jul 3, 2007)

Oh no, he wants us to become friends with the toasters again, angelica, run! *runs through a door*


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## areader (Jul 3, 2007)

Infrared...soon the toasters, the tv and the microwave will unite! And you will have little celebrity pictures on all of your food with advertising including.


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## Ice fyre (Jul 3, 2007)

A crumpet perhaps?


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## Interference (Jul 5, 2007)

HardScienceFan said:


> dare i mention 9/11 and inside job in one sentence?



Crackpot _theories_ only, no actual _facts_ are permitted.


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## knitteratheart (Jul 6, 2007)

Let's see...my theory...
We are all actually originally lab created experiments from long ago by a completely different race of creatures.  Our ancestors rebelled against their makers and took over the world.  But to hide the truth from future generations, they wiped the history books and claimed that those bones we accidentally unearth are "dinosaurs" that "mysteriously vanished from the earth"


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## Triceratops (Jul 6, 2007)

Well, my crackpot theory is one that I'm currently implimenting at the moment.  Two scientists find a fully articulated dire wolf skeleton with a very recent date.  They also discovery that this wolf, found in a sheltered lair, was also a consumate man-eater.  They take the fossils back to the lab and extract nearly pristine DNA and join that strand with a female (donor) gray wolf, to produce a hybrid.  The experiment works, producing a litter of hybrid dire wolves, but also produces a human fetus with the Canis traits.  And...walla...I've produced a werewolf.  Crazy but I had to research the heck out of it and make it at least partially believeable.

Tri


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## HardScienceFan (Jul 6, 2007)

nearly pristine dna???you researched aminolysis,taphonomy etc

LOL


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## Triceratops (Jul 6, 2007)

Well, nearly pristine dna from ice age megafauna is impossible however it's approached.  So I added a Protocol 421, a device to fill in any gaps in the degraded strand.  Jurassic Park's frog dna-filler?  Something like that.

Tri


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## Hilarious Joke (Jul 6, 2007)

I've got an idea where scientist use the dna from dinosaur fossils to create a wondrous park of real dinosaurs.

I call it 'Billy and the Cloneasaurus'.


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## dustinzgirl (Jul 6, 2007)

Ice fyre said:


> I just have one very serious question for you all.
> 
> It is of the utmost importance to take your time and consider this fully!
> 
> ...



Well, toast is actually another conspiracy. You see, bread is meant to be warm and moist directly from the oven. By toasting it, you burn and destroy the outer layer, much like one would a small planet if you had a giant lazer. So all the little teeny people living on the top of the toast burn to death. Which is actually better than being digested by stomach acid. So, about four hundred years ago, the tiny people of the bread and the human people decided that since humans will eat bread, it would be better for them to eat the little bread people toasted, so they don't die screaming in your stomach acid. 

True story.


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## knitteratheart (Jul 7, 2007)

Scary...makes me not want to eat bread....
Actually it kind of makes me want to eat bread more...
I wonder if i eat really quietly i could hear them scream between my teeth?


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## Interference (Jul 12, 2007)

The Illuminati.

The concept that someone is actually planning all this is one step to the side away from the existence of God, who actually _is_ planning all tis.


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## lin robinson (Jul 12, 2007)

The experience of God and paranioa are very hard to sort out.  Just like sorting out psychedelia from psychosis (or either form mysticism).

My unofficial touchstone is:  paranoia fills you with fear and dread, knowledge of God fills you with hope and love.


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## flygin (Jul 13, 2007)

> I've got an idea where scientist use the dna from dinosaur fossils to create a wondrous park of real dinosaurs.



According to many people in my mother's church, dinosaurs never existed.  It's all a scam concocted by anti-christians.


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## Interference (Jul 13, 2007)

flygin said:


> According to many people in my mother's church, dinosaurs never existed.  It's all a scam concocted by anti-christians.



According to my information, the theory that Christians doubt dinosaurs' existence is a scam created by anti-christians, too.  They've got them Christians both ways coming.

Of course, Christians invented dinosaurs in the first place and planted the fossil evidence.  About twenty minutes before the apocolypse, they're going to show how it was all done and the rest of us are going to feel absolute idiots as they all get charioted off to Heaven and Steven Spielberg tries to re-edit Jurassic Park so the fossils are only 4000 years old and the T.Rex is actually a mutated frog.


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## lin robinson (Jul 13, 2007)

The only dinosaur theory I've seen from the church was from England after the discovery of such bones became widely known and bishops said it was proof of the bible because those were animals that missed the ark.


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