# What daft 'super' power would you have?



## Rippers (Jul 7, 2009)

I'm not talking about being invisible, being able to fly or jump over buildings. Nothing that cool. I'm on about being able to inflict a 2mm paper cut, or the ability to invoke Deja Vu in your victim? Perhaps the power to melt butter in an instance, or even charge small batteries in a blink?

What would your daft power be, and what would your name be?


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## Urlik (Jul 7, 2009)

recharging a battery is a great super power to have. always useful around Christmas if you have children.

how about being able to reheat a cup of tea or coffee to the perfect temperature by dipping a finger in it?

but for me, the ultimate daft super power would have to be the ability to repel insects. great for wasp/ant free picnics and also for stopping moths from flying into your TV/computer monitor


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## Jev (Jul 7, 2009)

The power to build my own interference cage around any movie theater I am in, so that cell phones will not work for calling, texting, illumination, or supposedly clever cellphone rings. I suppose that would be the ability to telekinetically install mesh steel, for a starter.

Signed, Captain Faraday, the Savior of Cinematic Humanity and Sanity.


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## Rippers (Jul 7, 2009)

Jev said:


> Signed, Captain Faraday, the Savior of Cinematic Humanity and Sanity.



That's the spirit!

Now all you have to do is find yourself in a freak accident where a cell mast blows up or something, so gain our amazing and useful power.


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## chrispenycate (Jul 7, 2009)

Fear not, MonitorMan is here! Able to leap small wedges in a single bound (Have you ever tried to do it in two smaller ones? Not wise.) and absorb sound pressure levels that would stun a rhinoceros. 

My special power? The ability to understand musicians, what they mean rather than what they say. Actually, it would have been nice had it carried over to drummers and producers, but from some things mortal man is excluded.


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## gully_foyle (Jul 8, 2009)

Introducing *Hugman!* Able to hug people from a distance. Sometimes you see people that you know just need a good hug. How cool to give them the feeling a hug creates without embarrassing the bejeezus out of them.


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## Urlik (Jul 8, 2009)

chrispenycate said:


> Fear not, MonitorMan is here! Able to leap small wedges in a single bound (Have you ever tried to do it in two smaller ones? Not wise.) and absorb sound pressure levels that would stun a rhinoceros.
> 
> My special power? The ability to understand musicians, what they mean rather than what they say. Actually, it would have been nice had it carried over to drummers and producers, but from some things mortal man is excluded.


 
where were you when we recorded our albums?


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## AE35Unit (Jul 8, 2009)

The ability to read my own mind would be useful!


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## nj1 (Jul 8, 2009)

I like to be able to..... predict the exact time public transport will arrive, imagine....... no more waiting for the train, you could finish your pint and stroll leisurely to the station and hop staright on the train, no more standing round for half an hour (if your lucky)on a cold wet platform wishing you were somewhere else!


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## Jev (Jul 8, 2009)

That's why you should have the American infrastructure. Buses are barely a means of public transportation here unless you're in a huge city, and there's little public transportation as a whole to speak of. What could be better? (Tongue fully in cheek here.)

I wonder if Captain Faraday might be able to help with your public transportation problems. At the very least, the good Captain could build a steel cage around That Guy on the bus that always insists on yelling into his cellphone. So you'd be rid of one of Those Guys, at least!


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## Rodders (Jul 8, 2009)

Makes me think of God and BMX boy from "that Mitchell and Webb Look". 

I think that the ability to unlock any door would be a good one. Possiblities to be a bad guy too.


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## Dave (Jul 8, 2009)

AE35Unit said:


> The ability to read my own mind would be useful!


Or the ability to read women's minds?

(but that was a Mel Gibson film.)

What about the ability to find lost keys?

The ability to change traffic lights to green?

The ability to make buses stop at bus stops?

What I'd really like is the ability to turn back time (a Cher song) but I'd settle for a few seconds.


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## dustinzgirl (Jul 8, 2009)

The ability to turn burn food that I forgot in the oven to unburned delicious food. 

And the ability to make small children and grown men cry. Wait, I already have that one. HA HA HA


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## reiver33 (Jul 11, 2009)

The ability to see through _solid glass_.


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## reiver33 (Jul 11, 2009)

Oh, and my Superhero name would be 'Mr Diamante'


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## Rippers (Jul 11, 2009)

gully_foyle said:


> Introducing *Hugman!* Able to hug people from a distance. Sometimes you see people that you know just need a good hug. How cool to give them the feeling a hug creates without embarrassing the bejeezus out of them.



I love that. Although sometimes the fun of the hug is the embarrassment.

How about the ability to pinch a bum from a distance too.


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## Rodders (Jul 11, 2009)

Rippers said:


> How about the ability to pinch a bum from a distance too.


 
Yes. That would be good. I can only do it at a distance of about two feet and i get a slap every time.  (Could we extend this thread to include what name you'd have with your special ability? That could be fun.)


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## Interference (Jul 11, 2009)

The power to make thinks look prettier.  Then I could go to work, sit at my desk, gaze out the window and admire the view.  I'd struggle hard with my conscience to keep myself from calling my super-hero alter ego _Pretty Boy_


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## Interference (Jul 11, 2009)

reiver33 said:


> The ability to see through _solid glass_.



ROTFL 

excellent


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## Ursa major (Jul 11, 2009)

I already have a daft super power and it's no joke: Pun Power.


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## Interference (Jul 11, 2009)

I don't get it.  A whole sentence and -- _no pun_??  Are your powers _fading_???


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## Ursa major (Jul 11, 2009)

Funny you should say that....


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## AE35Unit (Jul 11, 2009)

My superpower is to act like a human even tho I'm a super computer. I was designed that well that the layman can't tell the difference! 
Unfortunately a few years after my creation there arose a sect of people pretending to be human-like computers. The HAL effect was a difficult one to spot,but I and my later counterpart SAL knew!


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## Grimward (Jul 11, 2009)

The ability to understand why a thread *cough!* was created....

Name:  The Trivianator

(Don't worry, _*I'll*_ not _*be back*_!)


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## Lapuspuer (Jul 11, 2009)

I've been pondering about daft super powers for some time now, planning to establish someday a_ League of Useless Superheroes_ or something like that.
The best ones I've thought of so far:

*The Unrottable Man*, able not to rot in any circumstance (I'm still wondering how they could realize his powers before he's dead);
*Basil*, who can make any object smell like basil at will;
*Superkamiokande*, Japanese hero who can emit neutrino beams (but, as you probably know, neutrinos have no effect on matter).
PS Hugman is _brilliant_!


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## ManTimeForgot (Jul 12, 2009)

My daft super power of choice would be the ability to quickly arrange or organize flawlessly any set of small objects (able to fit in hand) according to specification.

I'd either be One Man Bureaucracy or Orderman.

MTF


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## reiver33 (Jul 14, 2009)

I've just realised that Mr Diamante, with his ability to see through solid glass, might actually have a useful super power if the glass were opaque.

Damn! Back to the drawing board...


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## Pyar (Jul 14, 2009)

*Inker*: The ability to refill the ink in a pen at will. Writers of the world rejoice!


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## Ursa major (Jul 14, 2009)

But I bet that, like those of the best superheroes, Inker's life will go to pot....


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## Moonbat (Jul 14, 2009)

I would have the ability to turn any solid food substance into soup.

I'd be called....

Wait for it....

You guessed it Souperman!

Sorry. I feel ashamed now.


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## Moonbat (Jul 14, 2009)

An honestly useless superpower. I don't think its entirely useless but

I'd like the ability to echo-locate through the awesome audio power of my farts. 

They wouldn't smell bad, they would just be very trumpety. Like they are in real life.


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## Interference (Jul 14, 2009)

That would be Tooterman, then, would it, MB?


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## Ursa major (Jul 14, 2009)

Where would you go to practice with the help of a master? A Toot-Aural?


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## Rippers (Jul 14, 2009)

Ursa major said:


> Where would you go to practice with the help of a master? A Toot-Aural?



We can gas on about this all night, but I agree this would be a ripper of an idea.


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## nj1 (Jul 14, 2009)

Instaed of a spidy sense like spiderman, maybe he could 'smell something brewing'

Sorry


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## Rippers (Jul 15, 2009)

reiver33 said:


> Oh, and my Superhero name would be 'Mr Diamante'



Beautifully camp.


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## nj1 (Jul 15, 2009)

i'd like the power to be able to pull any book i want from a bag, i'd never have to buy a book again, also, when fighting crime i could pull out copies of the encylopedia and bash bad guys with them.

not sure of a name yet tho


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## Interference (Jul 15, 2009)

Hardback


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## Ursa major (Jul 15, 2009)

And if you also solved crime, nj, you could be _*Biblio-'tec*_.






(Best not be Belgian, though: that's been done before.)


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## AE35Unit (Jul 15, 2009)

How about a super hero worm,Book Worm, has a big red B on his err chest. His mission to encourage more people to switch off the TV and read. (Strangely enough you can actually buy super worms as food for your exotic pet)


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## Ursa major (Jul 15, 2009)

And I suppose Bookworm's cathcphrase, when confronting a criminal, would be: "You're living on burrowed time!"

Or:

"Time to turn over a new leaf!"

or

"Book him, Danno!" _(though you'd need a sidekick for this one; and a copyright lawyer)_


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## mosaix (Jul 15, 2009)

The ability to remotely induce loud farting in another person.

Useful when used on politicians during a speech at a party conference, news readers (esp. female) delivering a solemn news item, sportsmen at a crucial moment (taking a penalty, serving for the match at Wimbledon), policemen trying to book you for speeding or traffic wardens trying to issue you with a parking ticket.

And any others you can think of.


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## reiver33 (Jul 20, 2009)

...and thus the Chronos League of Just Ice (Smirnoff Chaper) was born!


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## dustinzgirl (Jul 20, 2009)

I would really like the super power of blinking my eyes and having a clean house. That would be awesome.


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## Interference (Jul 20, 2009)

Doesn't sound daft enough, Dusty - in fact ....


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## nj1 (Jul 20, 2009)

I want the power to stop fizzy cans exploding when opened, not other peoples, just mine. When it happens to others it's fun to watch


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