# Movie Quirks



## Quill (Feb 1, 2003)

Gangs of street thugs or ninjas will always attack one at a time while the others politely wait their turn.

Overweight people never go to the beach unless their is some kind of visual gag involved in their presence.

People injured in any arm or leg will have no trouble continuing to use it normally in a fight.

Wounds in any arm or leg will occasionally grow tired of their location and hop to the opposite arm or leg.

Bad guys who get the upper hand in a fight will always feel the need to make a speech, thus allowing their intended victim to recover just enough to beat the cheese out of them.

All bombs with visible timepieces whose countdown has been initiated must and will be stopped precisely at the last second.

Aliens from the most distant reaches of space have either British or American accents.

Aliens from the most distant reaches of space look human, with only slight variations in their forehead and ears.

Aliens with technology advanced enough for space travel and equally advanced weapons are no match for a few humans in fighter jets.  They even lack all capacity to fly or shoot accurately in their own spaceships.

Anyone who is thrown across a room in a fight will almost always land next to a weapon, often their own.


----------



## Dave (Feb 1, 2003)

You forgot that alien planets always look like either British Columbia or a Californian desert, and always have Pine trees.


----------



## Quill (Feb 1, 2003)

True!  Often with wild color variations to make it look a bit less like Earth.  Pink skies, blue pine trees, etc.


----------



## timdgreat (Feb 1, 2003)

lol thats all true, :rolly2: :rolly2: :rolly2:


----------



## Quill (Feb 2, 2003)

*Hope this one makes sense.....*

Certain events move at at regular speed, others in completely _natural_ slow motion, thus allowing otherwise improbable and impossible events to come together at the perfect moment.


----------



## timdgreat (Feb 2, 2003)

:dead: kinda


----------



## Highlander II (Feb 3, 2003)

And don't forget - 

No matter who is protecting the victim - local, state police, US Marshalls, FBI, etc etc etc - if s/he is taken to a safe house - the baddies will always find him/her!

(thought about this one when I was watching The Sentinel the other day)


----------



## keltikkitty (Feb 4, 2003)

See now, I had a really good one to add and I just forgot it.  

*Gangs of street thugs or ninjas will always attack one at a time while the others politely wait their turn.*

I always yell at the screen when something like that happens.  And then the bad guy always wonders why.

I remember.  As pointed out to us in Austin Powers, the bad guy will always capture the good guy and place him in an area with some high-tech killing machine/item and leave them alone to escape.

keltikkitty:aliengray


----------



## sidewinder (Feb 6, 2003)

i try not to think about it makes made head hurt.


----------



## imported_Data (Feb 7, 2003)

LOL! :rolly2: All of these are quite true. Sad that the movies are so predictable...


----------



## Dave (Feb 7, 2003)

The team that ultimately wins the game, is always facing incredible odds at half-time.

The guy with the bad English accent is the baddie.

During the fast car chase scene, a car will crash into a cart laden with fruit and vegtables, and another will pass underneath a lorry trailer. 

I also found this site: The Movie ClichÃ©s List with many more. I think I'm ready to write a script after reading those. 

It has a big section just on 'ID4'.


----------



## Highlander II (Feb 8, 2003)

> _Originally posted by Dave _
> *During the fast car chase scene, a car will crash into a cart laden with fruit and vegtables, and another will pass underneath a lorry trailer. *




This made me LOL!!!

Seriously - it's so true -- and the one that hits the veggie cart - usually, for some inexplicable reason, get's stuck!

Oh - during the fast motorcycle chase - one of the motorcycles will always do one of the following:

a) land in quicksand / wet cement
b) hit something and flip over 
c) run off the edge of a road / bridge under construction


And from that list, Dave, this one is my favorite:

"Inertial dampers will always prevent passengers from being plastered against the walls during acceleration into warp speed, yet any explosion will send passengers reeling across the room."

Why *IS* that??


----------



## Quill (Feb 8, 2003)

*All credit goes to Maggie on the Eidos forums for coming up with these.* 

Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. 

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. 

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. 

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. 

The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. 

Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. 

Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. 

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. 

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. 

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. 

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. 

Most dogs are immortal. 

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. 

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. 

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. 

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. 

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. 

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now. 

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. 

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. Even a bad German accent will do. 

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. 

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. 

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 

When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.


----------



## sidewinder (Feb 8, 2003)

Useful Advice For Those in a Horrific
                              Situaiton 



1) When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead. 

2) If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for
black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in
some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away
immediately. 

3) Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. 

4) Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out. 

5) If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or
if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot
of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared. 

6) When you have the benefit of numbers, never pair off or go it alone. 

7) If the gang plans a fun midnight party in the town's old abandoned mansion, don't tag
along. Especially don't tag along if everyone's going as couples, except you're the odd
guy/gal out. And if you're the gang's jokester, you may as well write up your last will and
testament while you're driving with them to the place. 

8) As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. 

9) Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt,
mausoleum, or other domicile of the dead. 

10) If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the
cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life. 

11) If appliances start operating by themselves, move out. 

12) Do not take (or borrow) anything from the dead. 

13) Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you
are doing. 

14) If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if
you are female. Also note that, although you are running and the monster is merely
shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. 

15) If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing,
fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as
fast as possible. 

16) Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here:
Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the
Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine or Massachusetts. 

17) If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to
phone for help. 

18) Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chain saws, staple guns, hedge trimmers,
electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws,
weed-whackers or any device made from deceased companions. 

19) Listen closely to the soundtrack; and pay attention to the audience, since they are
usually far more intelligent than you could ever hope to be. 

20) Never, never, NEVER try to communicate with something icky because "there's so
much we can learn from them". 

21) Don't make fun of or play with dead things. 

22) If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. 

Take the hint and stay away. 

23) If a meteor strikes nearby, move out of town. 

24) When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car,
no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many
times before it will fire up. 

25) If you walk into the local abandoned-looking church to seek help or shelter, and you
notice that the crucifix is mounted upside down, turn around and go back outside as quietly
as possible. 

26) When you happen to be one of the fortunate ones and actually make it through the film
alive, never, NEVER sign on to do a sequel. If you do, expect to depart this world in the
first five minutes. 

27) Never have sex in the bunkbeds of recently renovated summer camps. 

28) Strange lights are seldom harbingers of joy. 

29) People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on
them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by
encountering their flayed corpse at some point. 

30) On no account do ANYTHING because someone dares you to. 

31) If you realize that the people in your town/county are having their minds taken over by
some strange force, alien or otherwise: DO NOT call the police as they are A) either
already taken over themselves and will turn you in or B) will not believe you and laugh at
you. Either way, you must handle the problem yourself. 

32) If a small band of children appear to be smarter then the adults that are around them,
be cautious. If they stay together in a small, secretive group, and display nothing but
hostility towards their elders, authority, and the church, leave town at once. If you wish to
stay, be as kind to the children as possible, but expect to die anyways because you are
inferior to them. 

33) If you assist the villian of the film, do not expect gratitude in exchange for your
services. In fact, do not expect anything other then death, which will come in the final
minutes of the film and usually over the girl you have become attracted to, but the villian
wants as their own. 

34) If any animals, such as Birds, Pirahna, Spiders, etc. begin to exhibit behavior that
seems a bit more hostile towards mankind than normal, immediately call in the authorities,
get out of that town, and do not try to talk to any scientist who specializes in that animal
(ornithologists and the like) for they will not believe you. 

35) Whatever you do, DO NOT keep pets such as cats, dogs, hamsters, or anything
cuddly. If you must, do not let them out of your sight for so much as a second. 

36) When you land on a distant planet and find some objects that look like eggs, leave
them alone. 

37) When one of your spaceship's crew finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a
result of disobeying the previous rule), don't let him back on the ship. The guy's dogmeat
anyway. 

38) When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of disobeying the previous two
rules) never wander off alone to hunt for the ship's cat. 

39) Never, EVER go in/out there (There being the attic, closet, barn, basement, dark alley,
dark anywhere else, the all-concealing shadows, the woods or the lake) 

40) If someone who seems important tells you to do or NOT do something (like DON'T fall
asleep, DON'T leave me, DON'T look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding-psychopath by
yourself) by all means, listen to them, unless doing so would break another of the
guidelines. 

41) If you manage to lose a few body parts along the way, don't despair. 

Take this opportunity to replace them with weapons, such as chainsaws, harpoons, etc. 

42) If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find
a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just
before you kill the monster (unless your name is Ash, in which case, you'll never have to
reload) 

43) If you are wounded by flesh-eating zombies, aboandon all hope, because sooner or
later, no matter how many anti-biotics you take, yer gonna become one of 'em. 

44) If you're the the last main character left, and a bunch of people are hunting the
monster/monsters DON'T stand out in the open, because you will immediately be mistaken
for a/the monster. 

50) Don't open the closed door, especially if you hear scratching, heavy breathing, or any
other strange noises from the other side. 

51) DO NOT go into the dark room. 

52) If you're a male, get out of there as fast as possible! The only one who ever survives is
a female. 

53) While in a horror film, never bathe, especially when in the house alone. 

54) In terms of weaponry and general equipment for fighting the monster, never rely on
any tool more complicated than a pointed stick. Generators will inexplicably run out of
power, just as the nasty space-vegetable climbs onto your jury rigged electrical grid. Just
when you've got the ghoul lined up in your sights, your gun will invariably jam. 

55) If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable. 

56) Never camp or build homes on Indian burial grounds. 

57) Ask why the estate is being sold so cheap. 

58) If the phone lines are dead, and you hear footsteps upstairs, when you're supposed to
be alone, don't follow the noises to see who your "guest" is. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
Unless you want to die!! 

59) Never pick up the phone and call for help, chances are your phone will be dead and the
next thing you'll see is the monster swinging some sort of sharp object. 

60)If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera, if it pans away for
no apparent reason at all, get the heck out of there. 

61) If the Master does not approve, neither do you. 

62) Never handle the rat-monkey cage. 

63) Your dog can take care of itself... 

64) So can your spouse... 

65) And your kids. 

66) Self-sacrifice is a bad idea, as the person you saved will usually die anyway. 

67) Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. 

Be a believer. 

68) If you're not a main character, suicide is a quicker and easier way out. 

69) Your plan takes into account all possible situations...except for the one that actually
occurs. 

70) Don't be a smart-ass. It'll only get you killed. 

71) When you have actually gotten a monster down on the ground with your gun,
immediately empty all your shots in the mosnters' head. 

72) Never be present immediately before, during, or anytime after a successful
demon/devil/monster summoning. 

73) People driven by veangance always die. 

74) Mentioning any goals in life, anything to look forward to, or any loved ones will get you
killed. 

75) Never, under any circumstances, go to summer camp. 

76) Puzzle boxes are hard to solve for a reason. 

77) Feel no guilt. 

78) If you throw away some possession of yours (antique dolls and ventriloquist's dummies
in particular), and you find it again in your house/car/pockets/etc. move to another country
IMMEDIATELY! Of course, it WILL be waiting for you in the car as you go to leave. 

79) If you try to run away, always take the bus. If you take a car the monster will be in it.
Cabbies are always demonically possessed. Monsters will destroy any plane/boat you try
to take. And you have to go through dark, underground stations to get on a subway. 

80) If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children
can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up! 

81) If you see a loved one you know to be dead, RUN AWAY! Many people will ignore
this bit of common sense, but remember: you can always buy a new pet, always have more
kids, and always get a new spouse/S.O. 

82) If you're being chased by a monster and you think it's behind you, chances are it will
appear in front of you (and if you're a girl, this will happen right after you trip and fall, and
then stand up and look behind you). 

83) If you've beaten the monster into a bloody pulp and you're sure he must be dead, take
the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise destroy him. 

84) If you're being chased by a monster and you find one of your friends and they ask
"what's wrong?", don't stop and try to explain. Just tell them to run as you go by. If
they're really your friend they'll follow. If not - that's their tough luck. 

85) If you should easily enter a home that you've either heard a scream from or there is no
sign of life when there should be, do not be surprised to find that all means of escape (i.e.
doors, windows, etc.) will be locked, effectively allowing the monster to come within a
gnat's hair to you. 

86) If you should run across one of the escape routes from the previous rule that is made
of glass, DO NOT waste time pounding on it. Breaking it would prove to be a better course
of action. (Remember, a cut-up hand is better than a chest wound.) 

87) If you are a good dog you have a 50-50 chance of survival. Good dogs will only die if
they stand up to the monster in defense of their master. 

88) If you're a cat, just hide your head and pray that the monsters won't eat you, the
Catholic Inquisitors won't burn you as a witch's familiar, and/or the horny teen-age guys
don't throw you over the edge of a cliff to see if you land on your feet. 

89) If you're a bird, CONGRATULATIONS! Your people will triumph and rule all in the
end (or you might at least escape your $%^& cage!). 

90) If you are even somewhat religious, BECOME AN ATHEIST IMMEDIATELY! 

Monsters will invariably seek you out, gloating in defiance of "your weak faith," and say
mean things about your deity. 

91) Whenever a strange weapon is presented (e.g. a harpoon gun, flare gun, can opener,
etc.) TAKE IT! If you don't, the monster will, and sooner or later the weapon WILL BE
USED! Better you use it then the monster. 

92) If you find a lot of dead people running around making zombies out of the living, kill
yourself IMMEDIATELY! There is no happiness to be found when you're being eaten
alive. 

93) A single monster can never be killed. Multiple monsters can never be driven to
extinction. Therefore, try to get one kind to go after the other. 

94) When you fight a monster use fire, electricity or acid whenever possible. Prefferably
use all of the above. And an atom bomb. 

95) ALL atomic weapons cause normal creatures to grow huge and carnivorous. 

As do all chemical and germ weapons. 

96) ALL genetic experiments will create humanoid mutants (whether or not human/primate
DNA is used) with BIG teeth and claws, and a tough hide impervious to bullets. NEVER
play god and try your hand at gene-splicing! 

97) Always make eye shots whenever possible as all monsters ignore chest/limb attacks. If
you hit the eye the monster will be blinded for a while (maybe ... and if you're reaaalll
lucky... and if the creature even has any eyes to shoot in the first place).


----------



## Quill (Feb 9, 2003)

LOL  I like those, Sidewinder.

If you wash ashore on some unknown beach, you will likely be found by a stray horse.


----------



## Stargazer Lily (Feb 11, 2003)

The black man always dies - (although times are a-changing... e.g. LL Cool J in Deep Blue Sea)


----------



## timdgreat (Feb 11, 2003)

lmao, what a humorus thread:rolly2:


----------



## Quill (Feb 17, 2003)

Thunder and lightning *always* occur at the exact same moment.


----------



## philoSCIFI (May 27, 2004)

*Bringing back another thread from the dead*

LMAO. I love this thread. 



> I also found this site: The Movie ClichÃ©s List  with many more. I think I'm ready to write a script after reading those.


 Awesome site. LOL, as long as it's a spoof or isn't too serious... :rolly2:


----------



## Dave (May 27, 2004)

This is a good thread...



> _Originally posted by Quill _
> *The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.*



That's also true of the Colosseum in Rome, the Sydney Harbour Bridge in Sydney, and the Houses of Parliament in London.

Also in London the old Routemaster Red Buses still go everywhere, but are especially frequently past Buckingham Palace gates. And the old red telephone boxes can be seen everywhere in the UK, especially isolated places that otherwise could be mistaken for somewhere near Hollywood.


----------



## Highlander II (Nov 18, 2005)

> _Originally posted by Dave _
> * And the old red telephone boxes can be seen everywhere in the UK, especially isolated places that otherwise could be mistaken for somewhere near Hollywood. *




b/c all you need to make Hollywood look like London is a red phone box... 



I'm sure there are others... like the distinctive images of NYC - the bridges and the Empire State building.

Or - if you show the White House, the Washington Monument and the Congress bldg - that's all you need to know that you're in Washington, DC... from anywhere in the city (btw, it's REALLY hard to see the White House through all those bldgs and trees )


----------



## ray gower (Nov 18, 2005)

Think the biggest thing I've ever learned from films is that everywhere with hills look exactly like Pant-Deg slate quarry!


----------



## Highlander II (Nov 20, 2005)

That and, from Stargate, that many planets have pine trees! Just everywhere! s


----------



## Dave (Nov 20, 2005)

Even in terraced housing in the centre of large cities, where the residents have no garages or off-street parking, it is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.


----------



## Dave (Oct 17, 2007)

Amazingly, while we covered most of these, I think we missed the Bond Villain Speech.





> (from AOL News)
> 
> *Bond villain speech top film cliche*
> 
> ...


----------



## Quokka (Oct 17, 2007)

Aliens can be thousands of years more technologically advanced, having survived countless encounters yet their military and tactical knowledge/strategies will still be below par for the average 12 yr old _Age of Empires_ player.  


Any time an innocent person gets involved in the action there _must_ be a cut back to them confirming they are ok. The absolute classic is the cop car crashes during a car chase quickly followed by a shot of the cops climbing out of the crashed car, looking dazed but fine.

But anytime a member of the public or someone outside of the storyline gets involved in the action your likely to see a quick cut back confirming it was just a close call .


----------



## paranoid marvin (Oct 17, 2007)

Hitting someone over the head with a bottle ALWAYS causes it to shatter 

In the final fight scene , the bad guy will ALWAYS initially get the upper hand , before the hero eventually beats him


----------

