# What Have the Romans Done for Us?



## Dave

In 'Monty Python's Life of Brian', Reg asks,"...And what have [the Romans] ever given us in return?! ...Yeah. All right. I'll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done. ...Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don't they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads..."

Well, apparently they wrote 'The Dead Parrot Sketch' too:

Ananova - World's oldest joke book 



> _from Ananova:_
> 
> *World's oldest joke book*
> 
> A Cambridge academic has uncovered what is believed to be the world's oldest joke book.
> 
> The third century book of gags from the Roman Empire is written in Greek and entitled Philogelos, which translates as Laughter Lover.
> 
> Professor Mary Beard says it debunks the popular myth that the Romans were 'pompous, toga-wearing bridge builders'.
> 
> "A lot of the books written during the Roman Empire were written in Greek and although they might not be side-splittingly funny, they do give us a fascinating insight," she told the Daily Telegraph.
> 
> Prof Beard, who came across it while researching ancient humour for a book, said the jokes were categorised into themes including 'the absentminded professor' and 'the charlatan prophet'.
> 
> "One of my favourite jokes from the book, and probably one of the longest, is about a barber, a professor and a bald man," she added.
> 
> Another dating back to 248AD when Rome held what was billed as the 'Millennium Games' - tells the story of a distraught athlete: "Never mind," says a spectator. "You can always try again at the next Millennium Games."
> 
> There is also an ancient version of the Monty Python dead parrot sketch.
> 
> It reads: "A man buys a slave, who dies soon after. When he complains, the slave seller replies, "Well, he didn't die when I owned him"."


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## chopper

i still don't think they'd have understood Biggus Diccus though.


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## Nik

In a gibe against the fashion of wig wearing in ancient Rome Marital wrote, "The golden hair that Galla wears. Is hers - who would have thought it? She swears 'tis hers, and true she swears. For I know where she bought it." 
;-)


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## Teresa Edgerton

I think a more relevant question might be, "What have the Romans done for us  _lately_."

Because it seems to me that crowd has slacked off considerably in the last millennium or two.  Resting on their laurels is what I call it.


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## The Ace

I've only got one pair of hands, TE.


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## Ursa major

The Ace said:


> I've only got one pair of hands, TE.


 
And more to the point, Teresa, one of them is holding a rather sharp-looking spear.




Here's a bit more info on the jokes, including the punch-line of the one about the barber, the professor and the bald man:
Classic gags discovered in ancient Roman joke book | Books | guardian.co.uk​


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## Teresa Edgerton

Ursa major said:


> And more to the point, Teresa, one of them is holding a rather sharp-looking spear.



And I suppose he couldn't use that spear to prod some of those other lay-abouts into action?

Speaking of all those roads and aqueducts, we could use some of that over here; our infrastructure is a mess.


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## Dave

'Doctor, doctor' jokes date back to ancient Romans 

In this article Prof Mary Beard is reported to claim they invented the 'Doctor, Doctor' joke too.





> A doctor was talking to a patient. "Doctor," the patient says, "Whenever I get up after a sleep, I feel dizzy for half an hour, then I'm all right." "Then wait for half an hour before getting up," said the doctor.


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## Urlik

chopper said:


> i still don't think they'd have understood Biggus Diccus though.


 
I bet they would, considering the sexual nature of the graffiti around Pompei


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## Trebuchet

Ursa major said:


> And more to the point, Teresa, one of them is holding a rather sharp-looking spear.


 
Isn't that a Pilum?

Less of a spear, more of a javelin.


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## The Ace

It's a hasta.


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## Culhwch

As in, I just hasta stick it in to people?


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## J-WO

What I don't understand is, how does a Roman joke book disappear for 2000 years and then get 'uncovered'? (Unless, of course, Bruce Forsythe kept it). I'm presuming Mary Beard didn't  dig it up in her garden and a wax tablet/ papyrus scroll/ vellum tome is not the sort of thing to sit on a library shelf and be completely ignored for centuries. Maybe I'm being dense here...

 Now I think about it, I recall Les Dawson (A British comedian, currently dead as a parrot) on the radio, talking about some authentic Roman jokes. He even told one to the presenter, not that I recall it- I was about ten at the time.

 Now I've got all the respect in the world for Mary Beard (her books got me through my classics degree) but could it be her publicity agents use words like 'uncovered' instead of 'researched' so it'll get her new book column inches exterior of the review section? Last time she had a book out there was that whole Beard vs Zadie Smith 'controversy'...


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## Dave

J-WO said:


> What I don't understand is, how does a Roman joke book disappear for 2000 years and then get 'uncovered'?


I have looked at documents at The National Archives in Kew that no one else has bothered to look at since they were first deposited there, though they weren't particularly exciting to anyone else. However, documents could easily get mis-catelogued or forgotten. I'm sure the British Museum or Cambridge University would be no different.

Alternatively, you are most probably correct - Bruce Forsythe found it down the back of his sofa.

As an archaeologist of course, her whole career lies in ruins!


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## Ursa major

J-WO said:


> What I don't understand is, how does a Roman joke book disappear for 2000 years and then get 'uncovered'? (Unless, of course, Bruce Forsythe kept it). I'm presuming Mary Beard didn't dig it up in her garden and a wax tablet/ papyrus scroll/ vellum tome is not the sort of thing to sit on a library shelf and be completely ignored for centuries. Maybe I'm being dense here...
> 
> Now I think about it, I recall Les Dawson (A British comedian, currently dead as a parrot) on the radio, talking about some authentic Roman jokes. He even told one to the presenter, not that I recall it- I was about ten at the time.
> 
> Now I've got all the respect in the world for Mary Beard (her books got me through my classics degree) but could it be her publicity agents use words like 'uncovered' instead of 'researched' so it'll get her new book column inches exterior of the review section? Last time she had a book out there was that whole Beard vs Zadie Smith 'controversy'...


 
Whether your suggestion is true or not, I'd be prepared to believe it.

In the UK we have a general discussion programme on national radio each week ("Any questions" on Radio Four). Mary Beard has been on a few times (and last week, in fact). On an edition of the programme sometime last year, she was getting on her high horse about something when (very politely) another panellist pointed out that it did not fit at least one highly pertinent fact. "Let's not get bogged down in details," said Mary in her best Olympian tones and carried on spouting nonsense.


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## J-WO

Ursa major said:


> Whether your suggestion is true or not, I'd be prepared to believe it.
> 
> In the UK we have a general discussion programme on national radio each week ("Any questions" on Radio Four). Mary Beard has been on a few times (and last week, in fact). On an edition of the programme sometime last year, she was getting on her high horse about something when (very politely) another panellist pointed out that it did not fit at least one highly pertinent fact. "Let's not get bogged down in details," said Mary in her best Olympian tones and carried on spouting nonsense.


 
Yeah, sounds about right. Was that the one about Augustan Rome with Melvyn Bragg presenting it, or am I thinking of some other radio 4 thing?


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## Ursa major

Actually, no; it was Any Questions,almost certainly an edition presented by Jonathan Dimbleby.


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## J-WO

Dave said:


> Alternatively, you are most probably correct - Bruce Forsythe found it down the back of his sofa.



_Bonus ad vide tu, ad vide tu... BONUM!_

 (Apologies to anyone who can construct latin sentences properly)


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## J-WO

In fact I'll get it right and then write it out a hundred times all over the forum.


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## Moontravler

I've been finding this thread both entertaining and fascinating. The most interesting thing seems to me to be, that the humor seemed to remain intact over time and cultural distance. Humor most often does not translate well across cultures, for the obvious reason of context, yet all the little jokes quoted in the article seemed funny to me.

Were only those jokes that would seem humorous to a modern mind, chosen, or is Beard correct in that different aspects of the jokes seem humorous to us than what did to the ancient mind? (Btw, I actually saw the two 15 year olds vs the 30 year old as a number joke before I saw it as a "sexual" joke as she infers.)

It would be nice to get one's hands on the full volume, though.


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## J-WO

What I liked about the jokes was their whimsical nature- a side of the Romans you might not expect.


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