# What was the WORST movie you've ever seen?



## J.Lo

*Worst film seen...*

My choice has to be cabin fever....Total rubbish....lol


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## Curt Chiarelli

*Re: Worst film seen...*

_The Adventures of Gwendolyn in the Land of Yik Yak_. Kurosawa it ain't. Don't ask.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*Worst Movie....

'Dude, where's my car'*


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## jackokent

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The last Jaws movie.  The one with Micheal Caine in it.  Can't remember which number it was.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*Ja**ck

I think it was Jaws Revenge or something, it just a joke, yeah a shark would really go after one family!

But hey, least the shark saw the Bamahas!  (if that is the wrong spelling - sorry).
*


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				weaveworld said:
			
		

> *Ja**ck*
> 
> *I think it was Jaws Revenge or something, it just a joke, yeah a shark would really go after one family!*
> 
> *But hey, least the shark saw the Bamahas! (if that is the wrong spelling - sorry).*


 
_Jaws IV the Revenge. _I'm ashamed I know that. Jaws II was a stretch.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*Thanks for telling me Steve

Yeah Jaws II was a bit of a stretch wasn't it, again the shark singled out the family members and it eat a helicopter.

Now, forgive me, I don't know a lot of great white sharks personally, but can they eat Helicopters?
*


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I just thought, remember Jaws 3D!


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				weaveworld said:
			
		

> I just thought, remember Jaws 3D!


 
Rates right up there with _Friday the 13th 3D._


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## WizardofOwls

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Druids with Christopher Lambert. I had such high hopes for this movie - and have never been so let down in all my life. Avoid this bomb like the plague!


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## Nokia

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The King Kong remake.


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## Marky Lazer

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Cabin Fever total rubbish? Did you watch the same Cabin Fever as I did?

And Weave? Dude where's my car? That was funny. It was too lame to be lame, if you know what I mean...

The Blair Witch Project sequel... now that was bad.


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Nokia said:
			
		

> The King Kong remake.


 
Assuming you mean the recent movie, I suggest you attempt to watch the 1976 version of the movie. This film makes the Peter Jackson version into a glorious tribute to the original. The new one does take some horrible liberties with the story and left me with some serious problem. My "Suspension of Disbelief" issue had nothing to do with a giant gorrilla and a prehistoric island but rather the reaction of a young actress to being kidnapped and hurled around by an ape, chased by and nearly eaten by dinosaurs and still maintaining consciousness and falling in love with the ape all within 24 hours.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Marky Lazer said:
			
		

> Cabin Fever total rubbish? Did you watch the same Cabin Fever as I did?
> 
> And Weave? Dude where's my car? That was funny. It was too lame to be lame, if you know what I mean...
> 
> The Blair Witch Project sequel... now that was bad.



*I hear ya - The Blair Witch Project sequel was just dross!*


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## Tea is my copilot

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Mimic 2.


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Tea is my copilot said:
			
		

> Mimic 2.


 
Isn't that redundant.


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## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I know that some grief will come of this, as I remember seeing this on somebody's top ten list, but the first hour of Event Horizon was terrible. To put it in Monty Python terms, it was dull, boring, tedious, dreary and awful. At first, I wished Sam Neill was dead. Then I wished all the cast members were dead. When I wished *I* was dead, I knew it was time to go.The bad news was that the cinema only refunds the admission if you walk in the first 30 minutes. I waited an hour, but I didn't walk, I bolted.


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## Curt Chiarelli

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Paige Turner said:
			
		

> I know that some grief will come of this, as I remember seeing this on somebody's top ten list, but the first hour of Event Horizon was terrible. To put it in Monty Python terms, it was dull, boring, tedious, dreary and awful. At first, I wished Sam Neill was dead. Then I wished all the cast members were dead. When I wished *I* was dead, I knew it was time to go.The bad news was that the cinema only refunds the admission if you walk in the first 30 minutes. I waited an hour, but I didn't walk, I bolted.




Hi Paige:

Don't worry, you have a corroborator on this one! I had the same reaction - except I held on for the entire length of the film. I say take the negative, transfer it to nitrate stock and place it on a munitions dump in wartorn Iraq in the middle of summer.


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## kyektulu

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*There are too many to consider just one so here is 3...

Descent,
Mrs Doubtfire,
The Ring 2.
*


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## kyektulu

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				weaveworld said:
			
		

> *Worst Movie....
> 
> 'Dude, where's my car'*


*
Yeah, that was dire it must be said.*


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				kyektulu said:
			
		

> *There are too many to consider just one so here is 3...
> 
> Descent,
> Mrs Doubtfire,
> The Ring 2.
> *



*I forgot about 'ring 2', it was not good.*


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## Tea is my copilot

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> Isn't that redundant.


 
Ne.


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## Pyan

*Re: Worst film seen...*

_Lost in Space  _

Matt LeBlanc plays Major West as if it was Joey Tribbiani playing Major West - if that makes sense.


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## HiddenTiger

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I would have to agree that *Event Horizon* was a horrendous.  I wanted my money back too.  

It seemed to me they started off writing a sci-fi mystery, but half way through changed their minds and made it a hunted house/slasher in space.  Maybe the writers hated it too and decided to kill off all the characters.


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## Nokia

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> Assuming you mean the recent movie, I suggest you attempt to watch the 1976 version of the movie. This film makes the Peter Jackson version into a glorious tribute to the original. The new one does take some horrible liberties with the story and left me with some serious problem. My "Suspension of Disbelief" issue had nothing to do with a giant gorrilla and a prehistoric island but rather the reaction of a young actress to being kidnapped and hurled around by an ape, chased by and nearly eaten by dinosaurs and still maintaining consciousness and falling in love with the ape all within 24 hours.


I hear ya. At least tell me the original isn't as long!?


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## Adasunshine

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Diabolique

Awful awful film, went to see it on a first date (YAWN), I think our mutual hatred of the film bonded us, we stayed together for almost 3 years!

xx


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## Thunderchild

*Re: Worst film seen...*

i remember on a saw a long time ago called'dark side of the moon' and an honourable mention to mastero disgieso


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## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I stand by my designation of _Event Horizon_ as the worst sci-fi movie ever, but in terms of flat-out worst movie of any genre, have you all seen _Celebration_ ? It’s supposed to be a work of genius by some Dutch or Danish director.

The characters and premise made me queasy. The jerky, whirling cinema-verité camera work made me positively nauseous. Combined with the twizzlers and coke, it was a recipe for violent regurgitation. I run with a pretty arty crowd, but I was seriously reassessing my allegiances after being dragged into that morass.


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## Stenevor

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Judge Dredd - what a waste of a license.


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Nokia said:
			
		

> I hear ya. At least tell me the original isn't as long!?


 
The original was 103 minutes and seemed much shorter.


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## Jives

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Worst...(Jives cries softly to himself) my favorite book, a 2000 page sci-fi epic, compared to Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark, written by one of the grandfathers of science fiction, so good I read it five times...

Then utterly, completely annihilated as a movie.


battlefield earth....(sob)


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## littlemissattitude

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I have to say that the worst, the very worst movie I ever saw was _Raise the Titanic_, based on the novel by Clive Cussler.  I was so disappointed, because the whole time I was reading the book, way back when it first came out, I kept thinking, "This is going to make a _great_ movie."  And it could have.  But they messed it up.  It was horribly miscast, and just generally horrible.  I was really kind of bitter about that for awhile.

Although, now that I think about it, _Drugstore Cowboy_ was pretty bad as well.  I only sat through the whole thing because it was shown in a film class I took and I had to watch it.  I understand that among some folks it is considered quite the masterpiece, which is fine.  I thought it was awful.


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## polymath

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Batman And Robin.
For me that film represented nothing more nor less than a prolonged scream of frustration.
Complete arse-juice, every minute of it.


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## Wolfeborn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Just a suggestion dont watch Creep worst film ever, complete and utter trash, watched it couple of days ago, arg I want the 87 mins of my life back.


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## Trollkien

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Ghostworld - ridiculous movie about a dumb spoilt ugly fat ignoramus trying to make herself out to be some sort of heroine for having the most mundane and pointless 'issues' ever. 

Moulin Rouge - On hearing the sunscreen song, i thought Baz Luhrman had scraped the greatest possible depths of being perverse and vile. Little did I know that he'd barely scratched its surface. With moulin rouge he avenged himself on several generations of good songs by raping them mercilessly, tearing out the foetuses from the quivering loins of his victims, and gorging on them. I think I passed out for a good 15 minutes from the overwrought dialogue, the nauseating cutesyness, and my unbearable rage and desire to get into the film and kill everybody associated with it including the spot boys, caterers and assistants to the assistants of the costume designers. Those 15 minutes were a merciful and tranquil respite before Luhrman crammed his cinematic **** up the noses of the audience with another loud song sequence. 
Oh and I also loathe most people who like the movie. If you think jokes about the "seetah playah" and songs like "for always" are entertaining, you better pray I never become dictator of the world cause I will track y'all down and...it won't be as bad as moulin rouge but it will be rather ugly. I'm betting Luhrman is squirrled away somewhere, thinking about some fresh atrocity he can unleash on the world. I'm conjecturing it will probably be a reworking of some much-loved story — with the aesthetics of Cannibal Holocaust, the performances of a Hong Kong kung fu movie, and the soundtrack of a foundry. The *******.


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## Wolfeborn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

ahh so didnt like moulen rouge then troll, hehe havent seen it and def not going to now,


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## jenna

*Re: Worst film seen...*

the worst two movies ever... Valentine and Glitter. 

i have to say i enjoyed Dude Where's My Car, because it was so unbelievably stupid, and i love stupid....

and i'm not ashamed to say i loved Moulin Rouge too.


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## Aeris

*Re: Worst film seen...*

i loved Moulin Rouge, too.  i thought the cinematography and acting were amazing, and the way they interpreted "Roxanne" into that amazing tango scene still gives me chills....oooh.... i respect your opinion, Trollkien, so please respect mine.  thank you.

worst movie?  hmmm.  i def didn't like Manos Hand of Fate.  any of you seen it?  it's awful.  i almost tore all of my hair out.


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## Trollkien

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Fair enough Aeris - what's Manos Hand of Fate about? And what particular aspect of it did you find so repugnant?


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## ravenus

*Re: Worst film seen...*

From a reliable source: Manos: The Hands of Fate


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## Aeris

*Re: Worst film seen...*

That reference ^ pretty much sums it up.  There is almost no plot to Manos Hands of Fate, and that rediculous hunchback named Torgo? had an annoying voice and a weird limp paired with puffy knees.  If you must see it, I recommend you watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of it.  At least you get to watch funny commentary along with this horrid movie.


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## jackokent

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Has anyone seen Naked Lunch? I know it's supposed to be arty but it went right over my head and has to go into my worst film top ten.


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## jenna

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Aeris said:
			
		

> i loved Moulin Rouge, too. i thought the cinematography and acting were amazing, and the way they interpreted "Roxanne" into that amazing tango scene still gives me chills.....



i know, that's my fave bit too. it's freaking amazing! i still listen to it on my iPod fairly regularly.


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## pokernut951

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Aeris said:
			
		

> If you must see it, I recommend you watch the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version of it. At least you get to watch funny commentary along with this horrid movie.


I agree, that episode is hilarious.

I was really appalled by Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds...bleccck. Also I would have to say that Queen of the Damned was terrible.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

white noise - awful


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## Alia

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The movie that I view as the worse is... (and I always get Leto with this one but she's not around anymore ~ so I'll see who bites) The Army of Darkness with Bruce Campbell.


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## pokernut951

*Re: Worst film seen...*

It was a bad movie but it was one of those Good bad movies, if that makes any sense.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*I won't bite ya, but I liked 'Army of Darkness', granted it was cannon fodder for the brain, it was fun.*


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## Alia

*Re: Worst film seen...*

If you can get past Bruce's bad acting it might have been good.

Fun, Weave? Fun? I must have missed something... I did catch all the bad *shudders* one liners though..,. "Ah baby that's what we call pillow talk." *cringe*


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## Panamon Creel

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				weaveworld said:
			
		

> *I hear ya - The Blair Witch Project sequel was just dross!*


 
Definately agree, that movie was absolute crap as were all the sequels to The Exorcist.


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## Denie Alconn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Nothing beats the German "artist" Helge Schneider... if you happen to catch any of his movies ("Texas" is the only one I`ve seen) you`ll know what I`m talking about....


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## Tea is my copilot

*Re: Worst film seen...*

"The chronicles of Riddick". Not the worst ever, but still quite awful.


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## Denie Alconn

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Tea is my copilot said:
			
		

> "The chronicles of Riddick". Not the worst ever, but still quite awful.


Are you kidding me? I thought it was brilliant, though not as good as "Pitch Black" though


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## Paradox 99

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Denie Alconn said:
			
		

> Are you kidding me? I thought it was brilliant, though not as good as "Pitch Black" though


Absolutely - It was fantastic.

Does anybody remember a film called "Leviathan"? Now that _was_ a really bad film.


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## Denie Alconn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Hmmm, sounds damned familiar.....


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## Tea is my copilot

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Ok, how about when the guy goes out into the desert and melts there with his skeleton STILL standing, even though it's a skeleton? And Riddick was burnt by the same sun and yet he got away without a trace?
The film had potential, but I'm just not much of a fan of unconvincing scenes.
If I see a mistake, I'll be too hard on the film.
It's just my opinion though, and I completely respect yours.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Alia said:
			
		

> If you can get past Bruce's bad acting it might have been good.
> 
> Fun, Weave? Fun? I must have missed something... I did catch all the bad *shudders* one liners though..,. "Ah baby that's what we call pillow talk." *cringe*



*Alia, got to agree with you there, the pillow talk line was just, well, scary, its a miracle that Ash can get a woman even the horrid woman who was in the pit, with the bad hair*


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## Denie Alconn

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Tea is my copilot said:
			
		

> Ok, how about when the guy goes out into the desert and melts there with his skeleton STILL standing, even though it's a skeleton? And Riddick was burnt by the same sun and yet he got away without a trace?
> The film had potential, but I'm just not much of a fan of unconvincing scenes.
> If I see a mistake, I'll be too hard on the film.
> It's just my opinion though, and I completely respect yours.


Oh well..what can I say, still doesn`t make it the worst film ever though...
or if so, you`ve been damn lucky so far!


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Panamon Creel said:
			
		

> Definately agree, that movie was absolute crap as were all the sequels to The Exorcist.



*I unfortunately caught 'The Exorcist III' a few nights ago (I'm a bit of a night owl) and it was awful, absolutely awful, I could not believe this movie actually made to the cinema!  It was just pants from start to finish.  Why oh why did they bring back Father Karras, he had a bit of reputation after the original Exorcist for saving Regan, then he turns up in a cell playing alongside Brad 'Childs Play' Dourif, who was also awful!

Crikey!!! *


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## Tea is my copilot

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Yeah, you're right.
But it had more holes in the plot, and I just remembered how frustrated I was watching it.


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Tea is my copilot said:
			
		

> Ok, how about when the guy goes out into the desert and melts there with his skeleton STILL standing, even though it's a skeleton? And Riddick was burnt by the same sun and yet he got away without a trace?
> The film had potential, but I'm just not much of a fan of unconvincing scenes.
> If I see a mistake, I'll be too hard on the film.
> It's just my opinion though, and I completely respect yours.



*Actually I wondered about that as well. Maybe its because Riddick and The Purifier were both Furyan - maybe they are anti-flammable.*


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## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Paradox 99 said:
			
		

> Absolutely - It was fantastic.
> 
> Does anybody remember a film called "Leviathan"? Now that _was_ a really bad film.



*That's that awful movie with Peter Weller in it, mmmmm*


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## purple_kathryn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I liked event horizon and riddick (for the sets if nothing else)

Soul Survivor was pretty woeful (and it takes a lot for me to say a movie was total rubbish)


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## Trollkien

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Oh man i've seen so many hideous films....they keep bubbling to the surface like badly drowned corpses.

*Viva La Muerte:* This is the cinematic equivalent of goregrind albums — by and large complete no brainer lo-fi death metal with song titles like "Crimson Vaginal Flatulence" and "Swimming in child innards" or the rather hilarious "Trembling in torrents of diarrhea". After all that 'controversial' material, the albums are generally filled with samples from obscure horror movies that go on forever followed by a couple of minutes of what sounds like a fart arguing with a clogged drain.  

This movie, its phenomenal quantities of gore and half-assed attempts at being surreal notwithstanding is one of the most boring ever made. It's way up there with Moulin Rouge as a complete crapfest that uses a shtick (in this case senseless, badly shot violence) to flog itself. My greatest struggle through this movie was not keeping my gorge down but staying awake.

It always annoys me when people generally react to any creative endeavour with "Oh, anyone could've done that" (especially if what they are referring to is something sublime like a Steve Vai guitar lead) but it can be said with absolute perfect justification about this movie. Most of the gore for roughly the first half of the film is masked behind these ridiculous coloured backdrops. After that, I suspect someone called director Fernando Arrabal's bluff on wimping out and so he went all "br00tal" falling back on that constant shtick of talentless directors - cruelty to animals. But the fact is even the oppresiveness (which I assume this hack was trying to convey) does not come across - with something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre or in an entirely different sense The Trial, I didn't want to go on watching because it was seriously getting too much to bear, but with this flick I just sat around idly skipping back to see if anything interesting happened during the sequences I dozed through.


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## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*

How about _Age of Innocence?_ I think it's very telling when the best thing you can say about a movie is, "I really liked the furniture."

And that was Scorsese!


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## alicebandassassin

*Re: Worst film seen...*

was forced to watch the unforgiven and it was unforgivably boring evan put one person to sleep and we all gave up by half way through.


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## sanityassassin

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Alia how can you not laugh at Army of Darkness it is so bad it is good and dude wheres my car is another classic BAD movie which I liked. Highlander 3 has to be the worst movie of all time closely followed by highlander2, how could they do that to a great movie like highlander by jumping on its cult sucess with these increasingly crappy sequals


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## pokernut951

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Battlefield Earth, well I can't say that because I didn't watch it all the way through, but if the last half was as bad as the first....(shivers)


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## velvetdreams

*Re: Worst film seen...*

* Went to see SLITHER the other night hmmmm it was pants!!!  *


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				velvetdreams said:
			
		

> * Went to see SLITHER the other night hmmmm it was pants!!! *


 
I'm sorry, Iv'e heard that expression before but I forgot whether it meant good or bad. From the ads the movie looks like a remake of "Night of the Creeps" which was a fairly humorous horror from about 20 years ago.


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## Adasunshine

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Pants means bad - shamefully bad!

xx


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## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I may have one to top 'em all, believe it or not (I barely can). A film I saw about 25 years ago that was an Italian-Greek-American-Polish (I think) production called, at the time, "The Grim Reaper". This film was so bad, I got in for free and wanted them to pay for MY time. To indicate how bad it truly was, last I heard (and the film didn't cost that much to make, believe me!), it had  changed titles about 7 times, and STILL hadn't made the money back!!!! Kenneth Anger should just have been ignored; for this one, you'd need a time machine to go back and eliminate everyone connected with the thing before it was made.....


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## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> …the movie looks like a remake of "Night of the Creeps" which was a fairly humorous horror from about 20 years ago.



I haven't seen "Slither," but the ads are eerily similar to David Cronenberg's 1975 horror opus "Shivers." I like Cronenberg. He's Canadian, you know.


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## heron

*Re: Worst film seen...*

i sat through ultraviolet the othe day, avoid at all costs do not go near it. it will sully your soul and damage your brain, during the quiet bits i could actually hear my brain cells melting. i could just imagine the producers siting around 
"we've got milla jovovich"
"check"
we've got tight clothes and big guns"
"check"
"fire the writers"
"check"

please avoid at all costs it may not be the worst ever but its certainly close.


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## wolfgirl

*Re: Worst film seen...*

cabin fever--I agree completely--a waste of time and money.


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## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Now I thought Unforgiven was a damn good film - excellent performances from Clint Eastwood and Gene Hackman and excellent supporting roles from Richard Harris (RIP) and Morgan Freeman.  Some people thought it was boring because it didn't have loads of action, but it wasn't supposed to be an all guns blazing western.  It was supposed to show the grittier, more realistic side to the 'wild west' and a former gunslinger struggling with his demons etc.


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## bendoran

*Re: Worst film seen...*

unforgiven is one of my all time favourite westerns!!!


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## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Good taste 

Actually, while I'm on, I thought that Battlefield Earth wasn't half as bad as people say it is.  Yeah there was some shaky acting in it in places, but the locations, sets, cgi and the storyline were all ok.

I did think that Hulk was dire.  I also thought Van Helsing was totally over cgi'd with some damn poor performances (apart from Hugh who I thought was ok) and a very camp Dracula.


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## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> Good taste
> 
> Actually, while I'm on, I thought that Battlefield Earth wasn't half as bad as people say it is.  Yeah there was some shaky acting in it in places, but the locations, sets, cgi and the storyline were all ok.
> 
> I did think that Hulk was dire.  I also thought Van Helsing was totally over cgi'd with some damn poor performances (apart from Hugh who I thought was ok) and a very camp Dracula.


Someone had to go and mention The Hulk movie; here I'd blotted it from my memory, and now it's back. Thanks heaps.

So they finally made the Ultraviolet movie, eh? Thanks, I'll stay with the tv version. I was afraid of such an outcome.

Anyone else here noticing that the only things that seem to come out of the American movie scene these days are: 1) remakes; 2)old tv shows being turned into movies; 3) sequels; 4) variations on slasher films; or 5) Hey! we just discovered this Jane Austen person -- this is the highbrow stuff! (No offense meant to Ms. Austen's shade; but there were other writers before, around and post). Frankly, we're getting our butts kicked by the Japanese, Spanish and Mexican filmmakers these days, and that's truly disappointing (not that they don't make good films; we've come a long way since the 1950s/60s grind-'em-out crap we were getting over here from over there; but it'd be nice to think someone in Hollywood/the independents would have some originality and ability to craft something interesting). I understand that this is because the pay for writers hasn't changed much since the early 1980s, so why should they bother? (Which is also part of why we're getting so many "reality" shows, gawdelpus!) We can do *soooo* much better! (sigh)

Any other thoughts?


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## Space Elf

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Just saw Hostel before .... * shudder * no comment.


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## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Apologies for mentioning the 'H' word, JD! lol  And so true.


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## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Space Elf said:
			
		

> Just saw Hostel before .... * shudder * no comment.


 
I saw the first half. I was totally irritating, not scary or tongue -in-cheek humorous, irritating.


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## Niolani

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Basic Instinct. Michael Douglas gave me the creeps.


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## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Basic Instinct was pants, it was just an excuse for Hollywood to do some soft core porn.  Showgirls went one stage further (both in terms of adult content and diabolical story/acting).  I can't believe they've gone and done a sequel to Basic Instinct.  Sharon what are you playing at???


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## JohnSnow

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I have a few, but first I would like to apologize for bringing up some of these titles. If they have half the effect that some of the aforementioned had on me... well I apologize. I still have goosepimples thinking about some.

Anyway, here's my list of offensive cinema:

Gigli - so bad I never saw it, but it may be the only movie I can recall where not one person liked it.

Movies that I saw and hate myself for sitting through them (intoxication at least was responsible for the inability to escape from some)

*Critters -* any of the 3 tho slightly humorous at some points
*Waterworld* - shudder
*Robin Hood* (with Kevin Costner) - whimper
*Anaconda *- neck spasm
*Johnny Mnemonic* - gag reflex kicking in
*Space Truckers* (with Dennis Hopper) - truly the worst movie I have ever seen luckily tere was a lot of beer involved and some very rude friends that helped me through that hour and a half.

imdb has a list that will make you retch at some of the titles:

http://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom

*snow*


----------



## JohnSnow

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> Basic Instinct was pants, it was just an excuse for Hollywood to do some soft core porn. Showgirls went one stage further (both in terms of adult content and diabolical story/acting). I can't believe they've gone and done a sequel to Basic Instinct. Sharon what are you playing at???


 
My first date with a girl from high school I had been dying to go out with was to see Basic Instinct. My "friends" upon asking what was a good movie to go see thought it would be humurous to tell me Basic Instinct (insert sarcastic "thank you" to Brian and Eddie here). The are two things I remember very clearly as if they were happening right now. We both sat holding hands as the opening sequence began and literally we both tightened up like pegs and glancing at her face I can still see the scarlet pulsating in the glow from the screen. The other less humorous was the look on her fathers face as I dropped her off at the door. I later found out that he was enlightened to what kind of movie this young punk had taken his little girl.

Yeah, we didn't go out after that. I also had to lean to the right for most of the movie!


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> Basic Instinct was pants, it was just an excuse for Hollywood to do some soft core porn. Showgirls went one stage further (both in terms of adult content and diabolical story/acting). I can't believe they've gone and done a sequel to Basic Instinct. Sharon what are you playing at???


Now, I thought Showgirls was hilarious. The scene in the pool with her back slapping the water was one of the silliest visuals I ever run across. I really think Paul Verhoeven should stick to science fiction.


----------



## Niolani

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				JohnSnow said:
			
		

> My first date with a girl from high school I had been dying to go out with was to see Basic Instinct. My "friends" upon asking what was a good movie to go see thought it would be humurous to tell me Basic Instinct (insert sarcastic "thank you" to Brian and Eddie here). The are two things I remember very clearly as if they were happening right now. We both sat holding hands as the opening sequence began and literally we both tightened up like pegs and glancing at her face I can still see the scarlet pulsating in the glow from the screen. The other less humorous was the look on her fathers face as I dropped her off at the door. I later found out that he was enlightened to what kind of movie this young punk had taken his little girl.
> 
> Yeah, we didn't go out after that. I also had to lean to the right for most of the movie!


 
Oops!


----------



## scalem X

*Re: Worst film seen...*

moulin rouge without considering anything else. Well let's say it was the most disappointing movie for me. Maybe not entirely the worst.


----------



## Tea is my copilot

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Immortel ad vidam.
Altough I managed to go through 15 minutes, so maybe it suddenly became just horrible.
Didn't they have money to hire more then 2 real actors? The rest of it was animation.


----------



## BookStop

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				scalem X said:
			
		

> moulin rouge without considering anything else. Well let's say it was the most disappointing movie for me. Maybe not entirely the worst.


 
Moulin Rouge was difficult to get used to, it was so different from every other movie ever made, but once I accepted the quirkiness of the filming, I loved it. I think it might be my favorite movie.


----------



## ScottSF

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Star Trek Nemesis was the most disappointing movie ever.  I wish the enterprise could go back in time and make so it never existed.  It's even worse than the movies with Kirk in them, and that's bad.


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				ScottSF said:
			
		

> Star Trek Nemesis was the most disappointing movie ever. I wish the enterprise could go back in time and make so it never existed. It's even worse than the movies with Kirk in them, and that's bad.


 
A wise Vulcan once said, "Star Trek is like pizza, when it's good it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good."


----------



## speedingslug

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The Phantom Menace 

It destroyed my world, why oh why was jar jar binks invented, and they completely screwed up the plot lines.

Battlefeild Earth was a pleasure in comparison ( I quite liked it it really, cheesy like a Japanese Godzilla flick).


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				speedingslug said:
			
		

> The Phantom Menace
> 
> It destroyed my world, why oh why was jar jar binks invented, and they completely screwed up the plot lines.


 
It should never have been made. The prequel trilogy should have been a back story that need only be referred to. It should be like Star Trek V, it shouldn't count. It was a mistake.


----------



## Joel

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Lost in translation has to be the worst thing ever created in the universe.


----------



## Dala

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Saw 2.  it almost made me angry watching it, good therapy though, shouting at the t.v should be an olympic sport, or they should set up rooms in beauty parlors with only your most hated visual drivel, so you can let leash and come out fee like Ghandi.


----------



## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*Without a doubt, I have said it before and I will say it again....
*

*Creep was awful


*​


----------



## Alysheba

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Yugi Oh... I wanted to hang myself. Really.


----------



## lizzybob

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Close between Spongebob Squarepants the Movie and Aeon Flux.

Spongebob as a cartoon was really kewl ... I loved it but it just didnt work that well on big screen for however long it went on. I think they should have done something better for the last ever Spongebob animation.

And Aeon Flux ... well lets just say it sucks BIG TIME!!!


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Joel, how could you not like Lost in Translation????  I thought it was an absolutely brilliant film.  Bill Murray was on top form and Scarlet Johansen was fecking gorgeous (and acted well too!).  It's one of those films where very little happens, but it's all in the subtle emotions and reactions of the characters.  Horses for courses, I guess.

I was stupid enough to buy Creep on DVD before actually seeing it.  Yes, it was pretty poor.  ok to watch once, but a total waste of my cash.

Totally agree about Jar Jar Binks too...quite possibly the worst character EVER placed on the silver screen.  The film would have been ok if it wasn't for that annoying piece of sh!t!  Pardon my French!


----------



## Marky Lazer

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Lost in Translation was really good indeed.


----------



## iansales

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Galaxina. It took me three goes to watch it to the end. I still don't know why I bothered...


----------



## jackokent

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Bordem or some masochistic urge forced me to watch the Dukes of Hazard film on a plane the other day and it's got to be up there high on my list of top ten crap films. Can't think of anything else to say about it but pants


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				jackokent said:
			
		

> Bordem or some masochistic urge forced me to watch the Dukes of Hazard film on a plane the other day and it's got to be up there high on my list of top ten crap films. Can't think of anything else to say about it but pants


 
My gosh, that would be as bad as remaking "The Bevery Hillbillies" and we know they'd never do that. 

Right?

They wouldn't would they?

Right?


I mean they couldn't.

Right?


----------



## jackokent

*Re: Worst film seen...*

They did and it was horrible!


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*

You were expecting an improvement, maybe????


----------



## jackokent

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Good point! I think I was rather rashly looking for entertainment.

I have to admit to really liking the old Dukes of Hazard though - maybe it's something to do with age.  The utterly ruined my childhood memories of it.  I was devastated.


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Not to be indelicate, but for entertainment, I think I'd rather have my nails pulled out with pincers rather than watch The Beverly Hillbillies; perhaps that's a _tad _overstated....


----------



## Niolani

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Stealth, what a bomb and not really what they made it out to be in the trailer. Luckily i only hired it expecting it to be a "so bad it's funny" film. I can't believe that it got made, it is soooo stupid.
and The Bone Snatcher was awful, just awful, ants reanimating dead bodies so they can find another nest? come on, I've never seen something so dumb! And The House of The Dead, based on a Sega game was just as bad.


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*

What worries me is that, looking over the films they're going to be releasing in the near future, we may look back on all these as high-grade classics.....


----------



## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I have to say that all the reprehensible trash that is being made by the major studios gives me great hope for selling my screenplay. I don't mind being lumped in with the rest of the shlock, as long as the cheque  doesn't bounce.

(If anybody wants to be mentioned in my Oscar acceptance speech, let me know now, okay?)

Also, I'll make sure I retain the rights to the characters, so I can be on the set when Richard Dean Anderson stars in the ensuing television series.


----------



## Mouse

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Master and Commander was pretty bad, had to turn it off half way through. Which is a shame cos Billy Boyd's in it and he's fab!


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

House of the Dead truly was dire.  What the hell Jurgen Prochnow was doing in it was a total mystery - probably ruined what was left of his career being in that.


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> House of the Dead truly was dire. What the hell Jurgen Prochnow was doing in it was a total mystery - probably ruined what was left of his career being in that.


 
I never got around to seeing that one but it was highly recommended on another web site as a must see. I don't remember what the expected demographics of the audience was and that site was not a Sci-Fi/Fantasy type site. (Are we talking fodder for unbridled teenage boys here?)


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> I never got around to seeing that one but it was highly recommended on another web site as a must see. I don't remember what the expected demographics of the audience was and that site was not a Sci-Fi/Fantasy type site. (Are we talking fodder for unbridled teenage boys here?)


Yes, and particularly mentally-challenged teenage boys with abolutely no conception of storytelling at all. (Nor logic, nor taste, nor brains made out of anything other than rather overdone tapioca....)


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I don't know how anyone could've recommended it as a must see.  At best one or two people may think that it was a brief bit of escapism, but Jesus...  The only thing that was mildly amusing (and it wasn't supposed to be) was some of the totally over-Matrixed slow mo spin camera round person type fight scenes.  They were really OTT.


----------



## Niolani

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> House of the Dead truly was dire. What the hell Jurgen Prochnow was doing in it was a total mystery - probably ruined what was left of his career being in that.


Yeah, damn Jurgen Prochnow, his being in it made me pick it when i was scraping the barrel at Video ezy, I wish I'd bought a mars bar instead.


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

lol yep him being in it gave it a false credibility.


----------



## BookStop

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Ok- I just watched The Producers, with Uma Thurmon, Matthew Broderick, and Nathan Lane.  Maybe it is one of *those *Broadway things, where seeing it in person is amusing because you can't believe the people are actually doing what they are doing, but the movie was terrible.  Yech!  I hate not watching movies until the end becuase I fear I may miss something great that makes the whole thing worthwhile, so I watched the whole thing, but man was I hating myself in the morning.


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

lol yes I've stayed clear of that one so far, although I was curious.  I shall keep my curiosity at bay!


----------



## ravenus

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				BookStop said:
			
		

> Ok- I just watched The Producers, with Uma Thurmon, Matthew Broderick, and Nathan Lane.


Dunno bout this but the original Mel Brooks film with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder is a comedy classic.


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				ravenus said:
			
		

> Dunno bout this but the original Mel Brooks film with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder is a comedy classic.


 
Remember, Ravenus, this is the Modern Hollywood, where the words "originality" and "classic" are considered profanity of a most profound sort.


----------



## kyektulu

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*A few dire films I have seen lately are:

Lost In Translation... stupid and uncomprehendable, whats the point...

Creep... English Film, dont waste your time with it.

House OF Wax... what can I say, another inane teeny slasher flick, and what makes it even worse it involves the spoilt, useless brat Paris Hilton...*


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				kyektulu said:
			
		

> *House OF Wax... what can I say, another inane teeny slasher flick, and what makes it even worse it involves the spoilt, useless brat Paris Hilton...*


 
The pity of it is, that Paris is one of the bright points of the film. Great set design, too. Absolutely ludicrous and a truly stupendously dumb idea, but nice looking. Then again, I suppose those two items go well together, don't they???


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				kyektulu said:
			
		

> *House OF Wax... what can I say, another inane teeny slasher flick, and what makes it even worse it involves the spoilt, useless brat Paris Hilton...*


 
The original House of Wax was a wonderful, gimicky, Vincent Price, 3-D classic that I was really impressed with as a child. I couldn't consider watching a remake. I actually got a chance to see it in 3-D with the glasses and all.


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> The original House of Wax was a wonderful, gimicky, Vincent Price, 3-D classic that I was really impressed with as a child. I couldn't consider watching a remake. I actually got a chance to see it in 3-D with the glasses and all.


Well ... yes and no. The Vincent Price was itself a remake of a 1932 film with Lionel Atwill and Fay Wray, titled *Mystery of the Wax Museum*, one of the early two-tone technicolor films, and the only good thing about the new *House of Wax* is that when it came out on DVD you could buy a 2-for-1 package that also included the original *Mystery* film. I've seen it more than once, and it remains quite good. In some ways, it is better than the later Warner Bros. remake with Price (though I grew up on that one, have seen it twice in 3-D and have enormous fondness for the film). They're both somewhat campy melodrama (in fact, they toned it down a bit for the remake, as one of the assistants in the original was a serious junkie rather than a drunk), but Michael Curtiz directed the original, and his work is always worth seeing.


----------



## Nesacat

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The Hollywood version of *Dark Water* with Julianne Moore was simply awful. I'd seen the original Japanese version and really liked it. The movie was sombre, dark and creepy and like Call of Cthulhu was very simply done, with nothing spectacular in the way of special effects. It also had a clean, simple plot. The remake absolutely failed to capture the 'creep' factor and got all embroiled in trying to explain everything that was happening and in doing so lost the 'fear factor'.

*The Cave* was just plain bad. I have a very soft spot for B-grade movies, especially if they have monsters, over-sized animals or some element of the supernatural in them. I picked up The Cave because it sounded sort of Lovecraftian, with creatures of some lind living in a subterranean cave. They had a good idea and it could have been a good movie but it ended up being one of those things with a group of pretty people and a race to see how many get killed along the way.

*The Snake King* was bad but the giant five-headed serpent was pretty well done and since this time around the snake survives, I'm pretty alright about it. Otherwise it was the usual sort of thing. Something's found in a forest and of course it offers the possibility of immortality. Everyone goes rushing off into the forest and gets killed off. Only this time, the forest wins the day. That was the movie's saving grace.


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				j. d. worthington said:
			
		

> Well ... yes and no. The Vincent Price was itself a remake of a 1932 film with Lionel Atwill and Fay Wray, titled *Mystery of the Wax Museum*, one of the early two-tone technicolor films, and the only good thing about the new *House of Wax* is that when it came out on DVD you could buy a 2-for-1 package that also included the original *Mystery* film. I've seen it more than once, and it remains quite good. In some ways, it is better than the later Warner Bros. remake with Price (though I grew up on that one, have seen it twice in 3-D and have enormous fondness for the film). They're both somewhat campy melodrama (in fact, they toned it down a bit for the remake, as one of the assistants in the original was a serious junkie rather than a drunk), but Michael Curtiz directed the original, and his work is always worth seeing.


 
You left off the part about Carolyn Jones (Morticia Addams) and Charles Buchinski (Bronson) having minor parts in the films (50's *House of Wax*). Your right about the earlier version too. I had forgotten that although I've yet to see it.


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				kyektulu said:
			
		

> *A few dire films I have seen lately are:*
> 
> *Lost In Translation... stupid and uncomprehendable, whats the point...*
> 
> *Creep... English Film, dont waste your time with it.*
> 
> *House OF Wax... what can I say, another inane teeny slasher flick, and what makes it even worse it involves the spoilt, useless brat Paris Hilton...*


 
How could you dislike Lost in Translation????  I thought it was a beautiflly crafted film with superb performances from Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen and a very good story and script.  The point was a friendship blossoming between two strangers stranded in a foreign land that they didn't understand and bridging gaps between age and background.  I couldn't fault it myself, but horses for courses, I guess.


----------



## ravenus

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> How could you dislike Lost in Translation????


Haven't seen the film but couldn't resist this PJ...maybe it was..."Lost in Translation" for the disgruntled viewer


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				ravenus said:
			
		

> Haven't seen the film but couldn't resist this PJ...maybe it was..."Lost in Translation" for the disgruntled viewer


 
Half the room just groaned.


----------



## Niolani

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Yeah, I saw The Cave as well, 2 weekends ago, pretty pathetic when it had seemed so promising.
 I looked up some list that's linked to this website somewhere of the worst movies, and funnily enough, I've seen most of them. I can't believe some of the dross i've forced myself to watch!
 Once when babysitting I was forced to watch Spy Kids 3D, I had to watch it without the glasses as my eyes can't deal with them, between that and the plot it was absolute torture! Shame on you Sylvester Stallone, how could you sink _that_ low?


----------



## BookStop

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I rented Twins Effect 2 assuming, as one never should, that it would have the same quirky, comedic action of Twins Effect (also called Vampire Effect).  It didn't.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  (although, Jackie Chan's son, Jacie, has the same sweet-faced charm as his father)


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> You left off the part about Carolyn Jones (Morticia Addams) and Charles Buchinski (Bronson) having minor parts in the films (50's *House of Wax*). Your right about the earlier version too. I had forgotten that although I've yet to see it.


Yeah, well, it didn't seem important to what I was saying (though I've always had a bit of a thing about Carolyn Jones, I must admit) and besides, if I said it all -- not that I don't sometimes at least seem to try -- what would anyone else have to say.

Ouch! Hey! no throwing sharp objects! There have to be some ground rules, you know....


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Pardon my seque. Definitely no offense intended. Sometimes I've got a big mouth (er....keyboard).


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Steve: No offense taken (or given, I hope). I was amused. I was also being a smartmouth ... I think in my case it's just because it's congenital....


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				j. d. worthington said:
			
		

> Steve: No offense taken (or given, I hope). I was amused. I was also being a smartmouth ...


 
Ah, The irrisistable force meets the immovable object. 



			
				j. d. worthington said:
			
		

> I think in my case it's just because it's congenital....


Same here.


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Yes, well, because of that, looks like I may be next in line after Marky for trying that boiling cauldron sitzbath..... Care to save time and sign up for #3?


----------



## GOLLUM

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> How could you dislike Lost in Translation???? I thought it was a beautiflly crafted film with superb performances from Bill Murray and Scarlett Johanssen and a very good story and script. The point was a friendship blossoming between two strangers stranded in a foreign land that they didn't understand and bridging gaps between age and background. I couldn't fault it myself, but horses for courses, I guess.


I agree, I thought it was a pretty insightful movie and Bill Murray was brilliant!


----------



## sonofstan

*Re: Worst film seen...*

American Psycho II with the girl from "That 70s show as the killer". I swear i nearly put a hammer through my TV.


----------



## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

*Hide and seek
Godsend

I do think Robert De Niro is a great actor but what was he thinking? 

*


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				sonofstan said:
			
		

> American Psycho II with the girl from "That 70s show as the killer". I swear i nearly put a hammer through my TV.


 
"American Psycho" was pathetically bizzarre. That was definitely a movie the cried out for a sequel.*





* indicates expression of irony.


----------



## Nesacat

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Boogeyman 
What what all that about. It started decently and then went downhill with amazing rapidity. All self-respecting bogeymen should just make a stand and permanently haunt the people responsible for this one.


----------



## tiny99

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> "American Psycho" was pathetically bizzarre. That was definitely a movie the cried out for a sequel.*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> * indicates expression of irony.


 
I thought American Psycho (the first) was quite good actually, not a patch on the book but quite well directed.
However I have to agree that the sequel was absolute cack.
I mean it was seriously cack.

Other crappy films: 
Fantasy genre...The Sword and The Sorcerer
Any genre.........When Saturday Comes

Both of these films are cack. Avoid at all costs.


----------



## Alysheba

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The Honeymooners. The new one. I couldn't watch but 20 minutes of it. Sent it back to Netflix. What was I thinking???


----------



## Niolani

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Dead Birds. Absolute crud. you have no idea what the hell is actually happening and 3 of the male characters are hard to distingush from each other resulting in confusion, at least for me. Avoid this movie!


----------



## mikeo

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Well, I'm just entertained by how many movies I like are being mentioned here. Unforgiven? Army of Darkness, which I thought was hilarious. American Psycho (the first one), the same thing.. Apparently I have no taste. Not the first time that's been said, I have to admit. 

My nomination - the last of the Alien movies - Alien Resurrection. It was up there with Highlander 2 for badness, and Highlander 2 was (as I'm sure people know) incredibly bad. What a way to kill a potential franchise!


----------



## weaveworld

*Re: Worst film seen...*

A few more to my list...

*1.  Boogeyman:  *

The movie was just awful, awful!, there is a scene in the movie when the girl sees 'The Boogeyman' standing on the stairs, and she now knows about the boogeyman and she asks, 'who is that?', well it ain't Father Christmas girlie...

*2.* *The Village:*

The first movie in a long time that I wanted to walk out of, it was pretty darn pointless...

*3.  The Ring 2:*

Which I have mentioned already, but I saw it again recently and its awful, just plain bad, at this point you would think the main character would know not have a television.


----------



## mosaix

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Five Finger Exercise

Saw it many years ago. It was a four-reeler, the cinema swapped reels two and three by mistake (I think) and no one but me noticed - it was that bad.

Strangely I've never seen it repeated either in the cinema or on television - I wonder why?


----------



## jackokent

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				mikeo said:
			
		

> and Highlander 2 was (as I'm sure people know) incredibly bad. What a way to kill a potential franchise!


 
Only again surpased by Jaws whatever number it was with Michel Caine in it.  So truely truely bad it was almost mesmerising.  And I can't get by without giving Grease II a mention.  I have never seen anything so awful.


----------



## littlemissattitude

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Aw...Grease II was bad, but I have an affection for it, as it gives me a chance, whenever I see it, to see the football field where my high school graduation was held.  Another plus - no John Travolta in that one.


----------



## mosaix

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				jackokent said:
			
		

> Only again surpased by Jaws whatever number it was with Michel Caine in it.  So truely truely bad it was almost mesmerising.  And I can't get by without giving Grease II a mention.  I have never seen anything so awful.



Yeah Jaws Number Whatever, where the shark targetted the family! It's not difficult - if you're being targetted by a shark - move inland!


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Jaws the Revenge that one was called.  God knows how they convinced Michael Caine and Mario Van Peebles to appear in that.  Grease 2 and Highlander 2 both dire too.  I felt so cheated about Highlander 2 when I came out of the cinema after watching it.  It's only redeming feature was Michael Ironside's bad guy.


----------



## ravenus

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				roddglenn said:
			
		

> God knows how they convinced Michael Caine and Mario Van Peebles to appear in that.


Oh Caine's quite open about the fact that he does a lot of work purely for the money. He's appeared in Steven Seagal movies, enough said.


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Oh yes, I forgot about his appearance as the nasty oil tycoon in that dire Seagal film.


----------



## tiny99

*Re: Worst film seen...*

You haven't even mentioned his humdinger of an attempted australian accent in JAWS 12 The Final Fin or whatever it was called......"Crikey Cobber"


----------



## MJRevell

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The Blair Witch project was pretty shocking..


----------



## Adasunshine

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				jackokent said:
			
		

> Only again surpased by Jaws whatever number it was with Michel Caine in it.


 
I beg to differ, Michael Caine's worst film has to be Killer Bees although I understand it has some sort of cult status now....

Truly awful but highly amusing!

xx


----------



## mosaix

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Adasunshine said:
			
		

> I beg to differ, Michael Caine's worst film has to be Killer Bees although I understand it has some sort of cult status now....
> 
> Truly awful but highly amusing!
> 
> xx



Yep it was truely awful. It was on Telly last night, I'd forgotten how bad it was.

The dialogue during the last scene where they entice the bees over the ocean to blow them up was just cringe-making.


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				MJRevell said:
			
		

> The Blair Witch project was pretty shocking..


 
But of course, it didn't deserve or call for a sequel and it got one. And naturally it was as bad as expected.


----------



## roddglenn

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Now I still like the Blair Witch as the low budget docu-style suspense that it is.  I wouldn't say that it's brilliant or anything, but it has good elements in it and was very atmospheric at the time.

Killer Bees does have a bit of a cult standing these days and for all that it is pretty dire, I do quite like it in an amusing sort of way.


----------



## Crisspin

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I'll second _Highlander : The Quickening _(should be Highlander: The Sickening).

and I will add Mel Gibson in _Hamlet_, both for his recent spat of bigotted idiocy as well as his horribly pretentious take on the bard.


----------



## carrie221

*Re: Worst film seen...*

A Christmas Story, the movie plays constantly around the holidays and some network shows it for like two days straight. Certain members of my family like this movie. It makes me want to destroy the TV.

"You'll shoot your eye out." Well good.


----------



## Highlander II

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Crisspin said:
			
		

> I'll second _Highlander : The Quickening _(should be Highlander: The Sickening).



Now now - _Endgame_ was far worse than HL:II. 

2 things on HL:II - 1) director's cut makes much more sense; 2) don't watch HL:II as part of the normal Highlander timeline.  The story itself isn't horrible - a little predictable, but not horrid.  HL:III was a bad remake of the first one and Endgame violated nearly every rule of Highlander canon.


Worst movie?  Tossing a big vote for Endgame, but _Eyes Wide Shut_ was no picnic.


----------



## infinite

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Double Jepordy


----------



## Memnoch

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				infinite said:
			
		

> Double Jepordy


 
Great Shout that one. . .  

Ned Kelly (if I could have understood Heath Ledgers accent I probably would have loved it!!!) Reminded me of Brad Pitts in Snatch but that was deliberate and pure class!!!


----------



## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				carrie221 said:
			
		

> A Christmas Story, the movie plays constantly around the holidays …


That movie does get a bit too much exposure, but I recommend with great enthusiasm the other works of the author Jean Shepherd. Truly some of the funniest stories I have ever read.


----------



## pixter

*Re: Worst film seen...*

"It's Pat" was, by far, the worst thing I ever sat through. It was back in high school when me and my friends thought if it came on Showtime it couldn't be THAT bad. I just checked the imdb and found it's #34 in the Bottom 100.


----------



## steve12553

*Re: Worst film seen...*

And for the life of me, I don't understand why no one has mentioned the "*Ernest*" movies. Are they truely that forgettable. To be honest, I don't know. After seeing about 5 minutes of one I truely beleived that by comparison *PeeWee's Big Adventure* was Shakespeare


----------



## The DeadMan

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> And for the life of me, I don't understand why no one has mentioned the "*Ernest*" movies. Are they truely that forgettable. To be honest, I don't know. After seeing about 5 minutes of one I truely beleived that by comparison *PeeWee's Big Adventure* was Shakespeare


*Don't forget Big Top Pee Wee, the second Pee Wee Film. It's even worst than Pee Wee's Big adventure!*


----------



## Ozymandias

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Hey, Pee-Wee was brilliant. At least he was when I was four. Anyway, those Ernest movies weren't forgettable. That's the problem. They haunt you like a recurring nightmare.


----------



## carrie221

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				steve12553 said:
			
		

> And for the life of me, I don't understand why no one has mentioned the "*Ernest*" movies. Are they truely that forgettable. To be honest, I don't know. After seeing about 5 minutes of one I truely beleived that by comparison *PeeWee's Big Adventure* was Shakespeare


 
It could be worse you could have to watch 2001

*ducks head... and goes to hide* 

I know it is suppose to be some wonderful masterpiece but it MAKES NO SENSE


----------



## Ozymandias

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Are you disparaging 2001? Blasphemous! I remember watching that when I was twelve. I was amazed. Very profound.


----------



## carrie221

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Ozymandias said:
			
		

> Are you disparaging 2001? Blasphemous! I remember watching that when I was twelve. I was amazed. Very profound.


 
Yeah well I watched that movie at about the same age (this was right after I had gotten into Star Wars and my dad was intruducing me to scifi movies that are must sees, I liked all the other ones like Forbidden Planet) and I was just confused and freaked out... *goes to hide again*


----------



## Ozymandias

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Well, obviously after Star Wars 2001 is going to pale in comparison. But 2001 was so... I don't know, haunting? I was a bit confused about the plot as well, but I still dug it. Ya gotta read the novel.

 Oh, and you liked Forbidden Plane too? Brilliant movie. Leslie Nielsen's first film appearance in a movie, I believe. Did you know it was based on one of Shakespeare's plays? The Tempest I think.


----------



## scalem X

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Troll 2 wins the statistics on imdb .
Never watched it though.


----------



## Joel007

*Re: Worst film seen...*

aha! imdb, the source of all movie trivia. 

well i always hated *The Notebook*. its so.... _romantic, _which means boring. I'd rather have my intestines removed with a spoon than watch another romance film, those purveyors of ultimate tripe.


----------



## Santeeil

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				weaveworld said:
			
		

> *Worst Movie....*
> 
> *'Dude, where's my car'*


 
NOOOO WAAAYYYY DOOOOOOODD!! . . .

That became a cult hit the minute it hit the big screen!! You have to be in the right frame of mind to watch it though. Just stoopid fun. lol

personally I can't stand . . . American Pie "Band Camp" pointless straight to DVD then straight to the bin!!! Got 40 mins into it and felt like getting violent on the Stifler character!! Promptly turned it off and attempted unsucessfully for a refund at the rental shop citing false advertising!!!


----------



## C. Craig R. McNeil

*Re: Worst film seen...*

The Blade series. Awful, dire, violent, boring, crashingly dull films. Cr*p, cr*p, cr*p...


----------



## Santeeil

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				C. Craig R. McNeil said:
			
		

> The Blade series. Awful, dire, violent, boring, crashingly dull films. Cr*p, cr*p, cr*p...


 
So So So So wrong . . . 1 and 2 are awsum techno induced comic classics one of the best crossovers for me.

The 3rd I agree is poor did what all Super hero films do throw a load of new Characters in who annoy and we don't really care about. Plus Snipes' teeth were to big for some reason and couldn't talk properly!!

How about ULTRAVIOLET, totally wasted opportunity!!! Rubbish


----------



## Jack

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Didn't like the blade series either really - But they were not that bad, just a bad view of what a vampire is.

Worst film I have ever seen? King Arthur and Troy come very high but all fail in front of Battlefield earth in shear terribleness.


----------



## Teir

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Inspector gadget 2,.....and George of the jungle 2....and Mars attacks......and all the disney sequels.......


----------



## Santeeil

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Teir said:
			
		

> Inspector gadget 2,.....and George of the jungle 2....and Mars attacks......and all the disney sequels.......


 
Gadget and George originals were hardly masterpieces lol!!!

Totally agree though, I kinda enjoyed Troy apart from Brad Pitts terrible attempt at Bravehearteque speech, "Take it it's yours!!" erm no thanks Brad lol   Brian Cox is class as Agemmemnon. (Could play Druss in a adaptation of Legend perhaps) we can dream?


----------



## Teir

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Santeeil said:
			
		

> Gadget and George originals were hardly masterpieces lol!!!


 
no 

but stand them next to the sequels and they come close! lol...thats how bad the second ones were


----------



## Santeeil

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Teir said:
			
		

> no
> 
> but stand them next to the sequels and they come close! lol...thats how bad the second ones were


 
lol and to be fair the thread does say the worst!!

Lawnmowerman 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! los Horriblus


----------



## Jack

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Gadget and George – You know now you two have said it I have an overpowering urge to see them, just to see how bad they are. 




> Brad Pitt


 
That and in the cinema when he was calling out Hector, a guy in the middle seats somewhere shouted out – Don’t he look constipated – Could not take the rest of the film seriously after that.   





> Brian Cox




That’s a good idea, would fit the role with tweaking as well


----------



## carrie221

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Ozymandias said:
			
		

> Well, obviously after Star Wars 2001 is going to pale in comparison. But 2001 was so... I don't know, haunting? I was a bit confused about the plot as well, but I still dug it. Ya gotta read the novel.
> 
> Oh, and you liked Forbidden Plane too? Brilliant movie. Leslie Nielsen's first film appearance in a movie, I believe. Did you know it was based on one of Shakespeare's plays? The Tempest I think.


 
Yeah it is based on The Tempest which helps to make the film rock ...



			
				Joel007 said:
			
		

> aha! imdb, the source of all movie trivia.
> 
> well i always hated *The Notebook*. its so.... _romantic, _which means boring. I'd rather have my intestines removed with a spoon than watch another romance film, those purveyors of ultimate tripe.


 
Okay now that you have shown your "maleness/machoness"  ... that movie is sweet and it is in no way the worst movie ever made... it is actually not half bad



			
				Teir said:
			
		

> Inspector gadget 2,.....and George of the jungle 2....and Mars attacks......and all the disney sequels.......


 
Okay you might have a point up until Disney sequels as some of those aren't so bad


----------



## Teir

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				carrie221 said:
			
		

> Okay you might have a point up until Disney sequels as some of those aren't so bad


 
hmmm,...you might have a point*noid*...but most of those were just the first story recycled and reveresed.....ariels daughter wants to be a mermaid.....the kids go back into the jungle in the jungle book 2.....the lion king *moans*....just to many characters and plot twists introduced so that it worked and we all know that a boy cub got held up at the end of no. 1...(it says so in the Disney listen along tape/book )...and that love song between the two lions with all the love hearts? OMG, kill me..kill me now...it was just silly.The first ones were masterpieces...the second ones were making a quick buck


----------



## Memnoch

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Teir said:
			
		

> hmmm,...you might have a point*noid*...but most of those were just the first story recycled and reveresed.....ariels daughter wants to be a mermaid.....the kids go back into the jungle in the jungle book 2.....the lion king *moans*....just to many characters and plot twists introduced so that it worked and we all know that a boy cub got held up at the end of no. 1...(it says so in the Disney listen along tape/book )...and that love song between the two lions with all the love hearts? OMG, kill me..kill me now...it was just silly.The first ones were masterpieces...the second ones were making a quick buck


 
Are we a closet Disney addict Teir, lol alot of information for one who dislikes so much.    

Brother Bear 2 on the way I bet your salivating with anticipation??


----------



## Briareus Delta

*Re: Worst film seen...*

I once read an excellent book called The Fury by John Farris. Subsequently, I went to see the film, directed by Brian de Palma. Complete disjointed boring nonsense. Two hours of my life that I'll never get back again. This film is sometimes shown late at night on some terrestrial TV channels who presumably can't afford anything better. *Avoid it at all costs*  - you will otherwise have an overwhelming urge to destroy not only your television but all other TV's in the world just in case you happen across it again. And when you realise that is not achievable, you'll simply gouge out your own eyes with a teaspoon.

Incredibly, John Farris is credited with writing the screenplay.

Also, Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring. I'm a huge fan of the LOTR books. Watching this film made me want to kill myself but, more importantly, him. I realise that it has it fans and this posting will probably bring howls of protest from all quarters but, hey, it's my opinion. I can't see how it would appeal to anyone other than those too lazy to actually read the book.  ...(where's the smilie for controversial?)


----------



## Stormpirate

*Re: Worst film seen...*

House IV.  House I and II are good, campy, bad fun watching.  House IV is just so, so BAD that it defies definition.  It makes no sense, no continuity, bad acting, and not the least bit scary!


----------



## Briareus Delta

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Stormy, I logged on expecting my howls of protest. You're stealing my thunder. Stormy - stealing my thunder - get it? Oh, please yourselves.....


----------



## BookStop

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Briareus Delta said:
			
		

> Also, Peter Jackson's Fellowship of the Ring. I'm a huge fan of the LOTR books. Watching this film made me want to kill myself but, more importantly, him. I realise that it has it fans and this posting will probably bring howls of protest from all quarters but, hey, it's my opinion. I can't see how it would appeal to anyone other than those too lazy to actually read the book.  ...(where's the smilie for controversial?)


 
I protest! I protest! Peter Jackson brought LOTR into the mainstream with his films. Certainly you can see the benefit of that even if the films didn't wow you.(now King Kong, on the other hand, the world could've done without the remake)


----------



## Briareus Delta

*Re: Worst film seen...*

At last, someone with the anticipated protest. What, pray, was the benefit of bringing it into the mainstream, when he changed the story, changed the dialogue (and one of the great appeals of LOTR is the romantic - true sense of the word - language that Tolkien uses) and generally obliterated the soul of Tolkiens great work. It is Hollywood-isation at it's worst. Peter Jackson was presented with a precious (no pun intended) gift, and chose to squander it.


----------



## BookStop

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Briareus Delta said:
			
		

> At last, someone with the anticipated protest. What, pray, was the benefit of bringing it into the mainstream, when he changed the story, changed the dialogue (and one of the great appeals of LOTR is the romantic - true sense of the word - language that Tolkien uses) and generally obliterated the soul of Tolkiens great work. It is Hollywood-isation at it's worst. Peter Jackson was presented with a precious (no pun intended) gift, and chose to squander it.


 
Being in the book biz, I got to see first hand how popular the books became once folks saw the movies. Schools and libraries all over the country had to order more copies because people hungered for the written versions. Fantasy, as a whole, gained a popularity boost just because folks were blown away by a story that was fading from the mainstream. Think of all the upcoming fantasy films releasing over the next couple years. It's now something everyone, not only sff afficionados, can enjoy. That to me is definitely a benefit; even someone who hates the movies surely cannot deny that.


----------



## williamjm

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Briareus Delta said:
			
		

> Stormy, I logged on expecting my howls of protest.



Unfortunately the whole is-Jackson's-LOTR-good-or-bad  has been done several million times already on the Internet. I imagine most people are a bit bored of it and have heard all the arguments already 

(for the record I really liked the films, although they're certainly not perfect and I note they often were less good the more they diverged from the books)


----------



## Briareus Delta

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				williamjm said:
			
		

> Unfortunately the whole is-Jackson's-LOTR-good-or-bad has been done several million times already on the Internet. I imagine most people are a bit bored of it and have heard all the arguments already
> 
> (for the record I really liked the films, although they're certainly not perfect and I note they often were less good the more they diverged from the books)


 
You're probably right there, wiiliamjm, although speaking in my own defence, I am brand new to the internet anyway. But it wasn't my intention to take over this thread with the LOTR argument. So - any more really bad films out there...........?


----------



## Teir

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Memnoch said:
			
		

> Are we a closet Disney addict Teir, lol alot of information for one who dislikes so much.
> 
> Brother Bear 2 on the way I bet your salivating with anticipation??


 
actually, ive never seen brother bear 1 lol ...i think we have it around somewhere *looks at stack of DVD's*...but never really wanted to see it *shrug*

And yes i Love *GOOD *disney , (many happy memories lol)...thats why the second ones pissed me off


----------



## phase38

*Re: Worst film seen...*

Wrong Turn.... pathetic.


----------



## Santeeil

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				phase38 said:
			
		

> Wrong Turn.... pathetic.


 
the best use of vests ever in a film . . . I DISAGREE WITH YOU!!


----------



## Stormpirate

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Briareus Delta said:
			
		

> Stormy, I logged on expecting my howls of protest. You're stealing my thunder. Stormy - stealing my thunder - get it? Oh, please yourselves.....


 
Sorry, Briareus.  I didn't mean to crush your hopes of pages of protests!  I know many people who didn't like the movie, so it was kind of on par.  Plus, I have this horrible habit of thinking people can have their own opinions....(I need to make more posts so I can insert smilies!)

And I fully anticipate getting many plays on my username!


----------



## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Stormpirate said:
			
		

> And I fully anticipate getting many plays on my username!


Oh! Umm… hey there, um, _Pirate._ That was some… storm, eh? Heh.

Help me out, here. Why are you expecting plays on your name?


----------



## Stormpirate

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Paige Turner said:
			
		

> Oh! Umm… hey there, um, _Pirate._ That was some… storm, eh? Heh.
> 
> Help me out, here. Why are you expecting plays on your name?


 
Because of Briareus's comment on the previous page, and everyone automatically shortening my name in the Intro thread.  Those aren't really plays, but it happens just about everywhere I go.


----------



## Paige Turner

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Stormpirate said:
			
		

> Because of Briareus's comment on the previous page, and everyone automatically shortening my name in the Intro thread.  Those aren't really plays, but it happens just about everywhere I go.


Okay, Stompie. Now I get it.


----------



## j d worthington

*Re: Worst film seen...*



			
				Stormpirate said:
			
		

> Because of Briareus's comment on the previous page, and everyone automatically shortening my name in the Intro thread. Those aren't really plays, but it happens just about everywhere I go.


 
Sorry. I keep thinking of the song "Stormy Weather" when it comes to plays on the shortened version of the name...


----------



## Nesacat

*Re: Worst film seen...*

There's a storm and there's a pirate. By extension this means the kraken is out there somewhere too and that's always a good thing. 

Sequels to Disney films have got to be the worst. And it seems there's a sequel and sequels to sequels every time I turn around.


----------



## Huttman

I'll admit it, I did not go through all 61 pages to see if this is a repeat thread. Forgive me if it is. 
Onward...I've seen movies that were so bad they were good, but my pick for all time worst has to be Wing Commander. It had no story, bad acting and special effects that commercials blew away. My friend and I kept waiting for anything to redeem the movie before the closing credits, a cool explosion, awesome bad guy death, unnecessary gratuitous *ahem* scene or something, anything. But nothing. Most of the people in the theater left well before the end, but the few that remained left with a smile on their face when they got to hear my friend shout out "I've seen detergents that make a better film than that!" Enough said.


----------



## Rodders

A film that i absolutely detested was The Core. Awful, just awful. The movie adaptation of Sphere would be a pretty close contender too. 

Sequels would seem to be a rich area of bad movie making with Robocop 3 and the Starship Troopers sequels coming to mind.


----------



## Dozmonic

Prince Caspian was one of the few movies I almost walked out of the cinema from because it was so bad. Quarantine was a pile of rubbish too. Anything older than that has been wiped from my memory.


----------



## Mouse

Dozmonic said:


> Prince Caspian was one of the few movies I almost walked out of the cinema from because it was so bad.



Whoa! I'll pretend I didn't hear that! 

For me, Titanic is pretty awful. Never managed to watch it all. Same with Bridget Jones and Twilight.


----------



## Dozmonic

Don't worry, your beloved Ben wasn't the low point of the film. It was the scripting that did it for me


----------



## AnyaKimlin

Blair Witch Project.


----------



## Mouse

Ah, I'll let you off then, Doz. I can't comment on the scripting... Too busy ogling.


----------



## biodroid

Anything with Hugh Grant in it. That guy just deserves a slap every time I see him in a movie.  

My worst movies:

Oceans 12
Miss Congeniality 2
Eragon
Lost Souls
Supernova
The Warriors Way
Soldier


----------



## alchemist

The one that stands out for me is Tomb Raider. Thank God i didn't spend any money on it.


----------



## iansales

Your choices are all a bit, well, mainstream. What about Galaxina? or the four Project Shadowchaser films? Cyborg cop 1 and 2? Anything made by the Asylm, but especially 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Almighty Thor? For *really* bad films, you have to look at the straight-to-DVD market.


----------



## odangutan

One of the few films, possibly the only one, I've ever walked out of.


----------



## Connavar

biodroid said:


> Anything with Hugh Grant in it. That guy just deserves a slap every time I see him in a movie.
> 
> My worst movies:
> 
> Oceans 12
> Miss Congeniality 2
> Eragon
> Lost Souls
> Supernova
> The Warriors Way
> Soldier



Say you disliked those movies but really have you not seen terrible dvd films like Uwe Boll ?

Warrior's Way was no Jet Li, Jackie Chan hero but it did have some good action.   There must be worse films you cant remember right now.


----------



## Rodders

I think there's a big difference between a film i didn't like and a bad film. I didn't like Titanic either, but i didn't think it was a bad film.


----------



## iansales

The Warrior's Way? The one where the Chinese assassin goes to the Wild West and defends a town full of circus people against a gang of ex-Cavalry? That was a good film, that was.


----------



## Overread

I think the film that stands out for me has to be The Golden Compass. Not just because of what they did to the original writing to fit their idea (so many US films are guilty of that - Dawn Tredder was a terrible film when compared to the story its supposed to be telling) but because its one of the few films I've seen where - for what ever reason - its managed to make the lead character so unmemorable. 

I honestly can't even remember what she did in the film least of call recall if Pan made more than a few passing comments and the only parts that stand out in my mind are the very ending (only because it was so poor).


----------



## Starbeast

*Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band* (still #1 worst film I've seen)

*More Bad Cinema*
*__________________________________________________________*
*Trail of the Pink Panther*
*Son of the Pink Panther*
*Americathon*
*Little Miss Sunshine*
*Supernova*
*Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold*
*Waterworld*
*Scorpion King*
*The Dark*
*Road to Hong Kong*
*The Outsiders*
*Raw Deal*
*Little Big Man*
*Highlander 2*
*Tang & Cash*
*Legal Eagles*
*The Bee Movie*
*Aladdin 2*
*Green Hornet*
*Rising Sun*
*Over the Top *
*The Color of Money*
*Ratboy*
*Godfather 3*
*Stroker Ace*
*Cannonball Run 2*
*X-Files 2*
*Batteries Not Included*
*Thunderbirds*
*Cat Woman*
*The Road to El Dorado*
*The Quest*
*Smokey and the Bandit 2 & 3*

That's enough for now, I'm getting a headache.


----------



## PTeppic

I walked out of "*America Pie 3: The Wedding*" (or whatever it was called) about half-way through and "*Rules of Attraction*" almost at the start. Got up to walk out of "Hostel" (about 2/3 way through) but sat back down and "glad" I did as the end made it slightly more worthwhile.

NB. Thought "The Ousiders" was considered a zeitgeist classic.


----------



## Starbeast

PTeppic said:


> SB. Thought "The Outsiders" was considered a zeitgeist classic.


 
I know there are people who love that film, but it just bored me into a coma. We all have different tastes, for example _Little Miss Sunshine_ was enjoyed by others (especially critics), but for me it was a sickening nightmare. Then there's movies I really enjoy, like _Zontar:The Thing From Venus_ (B-movie from 1968), and some people wouldn't even bother watching it.

Another bad film - *Exorcist 2*


----------



## FireDragon-16

I'd have to say that *Night at the Museum 2: Battle at the Smithsonian* was up there on my not happy list. 

I loved the first one but the second one kind of let me down...the only reason my parents and I didn't walk out was because we were hoping that it might redeem itself...


----------



## monsterchic

Eragon.  Loved the books, but OMG!  the movie sucked!


----------



## clovis-man

PTeppic said:


> NB. Thought "The Ousiders" was considered a zeitgeist classic.


 
My granddaughter loves it. She's 14. Maybe it's a "Catcher in the Rye" sort of phenomenon.

My vote for all-time worst is *Robot Monster* (1953). A gorilla with a space helmet living in a cave using some Good Will furniture and seemingly having a difficult time tracking down a group of humans living in a hole in the ground.

Even MST3K couldn't liven this one up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq9IKsH9BXg

That said, I do own a copy. I'm just sick that way.


----------



## Dave

Huttman said:


> I'll admit it, I did not go through all 61 pages to see if this is a repeat thread. Forgive me if it is.


It was a very old one and the search function here isn't very good, but I thought I'd merge them anyway so that you now have 12 pages of replies to read!!


Rodders said:


> I think there's a big difference between a film i didn't like and a bad film.


I agree, and the replies seem here ambiguous. Too many films I dislike. Very few that are truly bad, and some of those are so poor that paradoxically I quite liked them. Wasn't that the whole premise of MST3K?


----------



## Jo Zebedee

Ok, this is a damaging moment in my childhood; 3 big bros went to see Battlestar galitica, I went to see Watership down; mum got lost, dad didn't, we got there late and didn't get in and I had to sit through Battlestar Galatica, with same said big brothers.

I'd love to say this gave me a lifelong love of sci-fi, but that came later; I wanted to see rabbits. Hear Bright eyes.  

Traumatised tears.  

So, I'm afraid I can't watch Battlestar Galatica, any time.


----------



## Huttman

Dave said:


> It was a very old one and the search function here isn't very good, but I thought I'd merge them anyway so that you now have 12 pages of replies to read!!



Thank you Dave! I did use the search and thank you for being so kind about it.

So I read the first post in this thread and their choice for worst film was _The Perils of Gwendolyn._ OK, I agree that was a bad movie, but.....that movie had one redeemable feature (actually *a lot *of them) for this then 13 year old boy. The only movie I ever walked out of was Robin Williams' _What Dreams May Come. _It did nothing to capture me and I really liked Robin Williams.


----------



## Connavar

iansales said:


> The Warrior's Way? The one where the Chinese assassin goes to the Wild West and defends a town full of circus people against a gang of ex-Cavalry? That was a good film, that was.




Yeah it was good, fun for what it was. Visually stunning effects.

 I think people in this thread are talking most films that didnt meet the expectations.  

I mean sure Warrior's Way was bad if i compared it best Jackie film or something.

The truly worst films that films that are cheap and look like that.  Even big hollywood blockbusters have some quality that doesnt make them worst ever seen.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Not the worst film I have ever seen (how do you define that anyway?) but the film I have actively hated the most and got all the way through (as opposed to getting bored or irritated enough to abandon it) is *In The Cut* - a 2003 arty serial killer mystery directed by Jane Campion.  

The ONLY reason I can think of that anyone would want to watch _In The Cut_ is if you have some some prurient desire to see Meg Ryan naked*.   I've seen some pretty rubbish films this year;* Troll 2, Blood of the Man Beast, **The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!*, all three* Matrix *films etc.  None of them come close to being as loathsome as this piece of ****. 


*Full frontal nudity at the 42 minute mark - don't blink.  
This has been a public service announcement.


----------



## Rodders

At the risk of sounding cliché, i'm going to say that the Star Wars Prequel movies were bad films. (Not as bad as others though.) It had that awfully poor love story, where we were told that Anakin and Padme fell in love but we couldn't believe it. There were too many vehicles/characters introduced so that there would be more toys to buys. The light sabre fight at the end of Revenge of the Sith was dumb. OK, it may have been fast and exciting, but what was all that sabre spinning all about? It's a fight to the death guys!!!

Don't get me wrong, i enjoyed them and still do, but objectively, they're a bad movies.


----------



## williamjm

Huttman said:


> Onward...I've seen movies that were so bad they were good, but my pick for all time worst has to be Wing Commander. It had no story, bad acting and special effects that commercials blew away. My friend and I kept waiting for anything to redeem the movie before the closing credits, a cool explosion, awesome bad guy death, unnecessary gratuitous *ahem* scene or something, anything. But nothing.



There's a lot of competition, but I think the film is definitely in contention for the worst misuse of science in a Hollywood blockbuster. Many films have made the mistake of having sound in space, and normally that doesn't bother me, but Wing Commander went further by having their spaceships use sonar to try to find enemy spaceships leading to a brilliant scene where they all have to be _really quiet_ on their spaceship and talk in whispers, otherwise the enemy might be able to find them. 

For extra nonsensical science, there is also the way their faster-than-light travel works by flying through pulsars, including the one in the solar system somewhere near Mars that presumably our astronomers haven't noticed yet. 



> I think the film that stands out for me has to be The Golden Compass.  Not just because of what they did to the original writing to fit their  idea (so many US films are guilty of that - Dawn Tredder was a terrible  film when compared to the story its supposed to be telling) but because  its one of the few films I've seen where - for what ever reason - its  managed to make the lead character so unmemorable.
> 
> I honestly can't even remember what she did in the film least of call  recall if Pan made more than a few passing comments and the only parts  that stand out in my mind are the very ending (only because it was so  poor).



It was a pretty poor film overall, but I did think they did a good job of portraying the daemons, I thought they did a good job of giving them a reasonably amount of personality rather than just having them be cute CGI animals. I thought the actress playing Lyra did a decent job as well, I thought she was a better character than the protagonists in many of the other films mentioned in this thread. The supporting characters seemed a bit weaker, it appeared that some of them were included because they were in the book even though the film-makers had no idea what to do with them. I agree that changing the ending of the book from tragedy into a cheesy happy ending that made a hero out of a character who was a child murderer in the book was atrocious.


----------



## JunkMonkey

williamjm said:


> Many films have made the mistake of having sound in space, and normally that doesn't bother me, but Wing Commander went further by having their spaceships use sonar to try to find enemy spaceships leading to a brilliant scene where they all have to be _really quiet_ on their spaceship and talk in whispers, otherwise the enemy might be able to find them.



I have a sudden and overwhelming urge to see this now.


----------



## Starbeast

*Superman Returns* - Mr "Goodie two shoes" Clark Kent has a child out of wedlock, eek.

*The Antichrist* - devil worshippers smooch goats, sick!


----------



## FireDragon-16

I also have seen movies that are actually pretty good but then then end just sends the whole thing down the tubes. It's like the creators/producers were trying to figure out a quick way to wrap things up but weren't really sure how to do it...

Examples include:

Rogue (2007): A movie set in Australia about a tour group that ends up stuck on an island that slowly getting smaller as the tide rises and they have to deal with a giant croc...again, pretty good right up until the end (highlight to see) where he killed the gator in it's lair by sticking it with a large stick when it tried to eat him

Daybreakers (2009): Pretty good as far as vampire movies go, but personally I think it would have been better if they'd all died at the end instead of the couple people surviving and walking away...if you've seen the movie let me know if you agree


----------



## JunkMonkey

FireDragon-16 said:


> aybreakers (2009): Pretty good as far as vampire movies go, but personally I think it would have been better if they'd all died at the end instead of the couple people surviving and walking away...if you've seen the movie let me know if you agree



I'll have to agree with you on Daybreakers.  They spent so much time on the world building they forgot to construct a decent story to put in it.  The ending was so bad.  Riding off into the sunset like that - I seem to remember a Voice Over at that point promising that their work would continue - and the whole thing just turned into the ending of a Made for TV Movie/pilot episode.


----------



## biodroid

Connavar said:


> Say you disliked those movies but really have you not seen terrible dvd films like Uwe Boll ?
> 
> Warrior's Way was no Jet Li, Jackie Chan hero but it did have some good action.   There must be worse films you cant remember right now.



Ok, the action was good but that's not what makes a movie and Kate Bosworth gave her worst performance there, I think Geoffrey Rush played his part well. I have not seen an Uwe Boll movie yet, I heard he is bad, maybe you can list the movies he "directed"

Here is another list:

*Legion*

*Battlefield Earth* (aliens on platform shoes)

*freddie got fingered* (the name doesn't deserve to be in capitals thats how bad this movie was)

*Zombieland *(I know it's supposed to be good but the first 10 minutes had zombies then nothing really happens and Bill Murray acts like a zombie and then real zombies in the last 10 minutes of the movie)

*Skyline* (the only SF movie where cabin fever sets in for no reason and curtains keep falling off the rails)

*Hereafter *(I like Clint Eastwood directed movies but I have seen paint in slowmo dry quicker than this movies story unfolding)


----------



## Moonbat

Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can compare to the dire atrocity of attempted movie making that is *The Tree of Life*, ironically the only movie to have angered me to death (I was resurrected by the love of a good woman and numerous Monty Python quotes) I could begin to explain how bad it was but I'd probably only die again from sheer rage.


----------



## Quokka

I haven't actually watched this movie but I came across it the other day when on imdb and it just sounded so atrocious that I felt it deserved a mention here anyway.

Now I'm not the biggest fan of the 90s Titanic movie, partly because it just felt wrong to take a tragedy that killed so many and turn it into a backdrop for a pretty generic love story.

But there's also _Titanic: The Legend Goes On... (2001)_ An animated retelling of James Cameron's version but with what sounds like a very very bad Disney coating and as one poster pointed out:



> The video box actually says "child-friendly ending ensures that everybody is rescued and lives happily ever after!"



Like I said I maybe felt that Cameron's movie didn't give the loss of life the repsect it deserved but that's just my 2 cents and as a summer blockbuster it worked a treat. It's also not really fair to judge a movie before watching it but to be honest this one I actually find offensive.


----------



## FireDragon-16

Another movie I watched recently that was really great right up until the end and then it went down the tubes: *Whiteout*. 

Great thriller, right up until she just let him walk out the door into the snowstorm!!!


----------



## Starbeast

*Psycho* (1998)

Even the director admitted he made the mistake of copying 99% of the original 1960 film scene-by-scene (he thought it was a good idea at the time). He said he missed a golden opportunity to retell the classic horror movie that scared millions of people.


----------



## FireDragon-16

*Crank (2006)*: Normally I'm a huge Jason Statham fan but this was just plain stupid...


----------



## Foxbat

Starbeast said:


> *Psycho* (1998)
> 
> Even the director admitted he made the mistake of copying 99% of the original 1960 film scene-by-scene (he thought it was a good idea at the time). He said he missed a golden opportunity to retell the classic horror movie that scared millions of people.


 
Probably the most pointless movie ever made.


----------



## Brian G Turner

Will add Jarhead to the list.

Not a terrible movie, and well filmed. But it's completely pointless. 

Plot: Group of young men sign up to be marines, go to Iraq, and come back without having done _anything_.

How can you have a protogonist who doesn't actually achieve anything?


----------



## Starbeast

*The Food of the Gods* (1976)

I've been a H.G. Wells fan since I was a kid, and I had high hopes for this film, but those hopes were smashed to pieces by this hunk of fecal matter. I think even Mr Wells was spinning in his grave at 10,000 mph when this awful movie was released.


----------



## tangaloomababe

The only movie I have walked out of the cinema because it was just awful was :Meet the Flockers.  Why I even walked in is another question!!!

I didn't even like Meet the Parents. More fool me for going to see the second one.  The third one was out of the question.


----------



## Rosemary Fryth

Hi Tangaloombabe, I'm in Brisbane and you certainly are living in paradise over there. Do you still get the dophins coming in to feed?

Worst movie - hard to recollect, however after enjoying the first three Prophecy movies, the fourth one 'Uprising' was a severe disappointment.


----------



## Foxbat

*Highlander 2 *was pretty bad.


----------



## DrMclony

The Piano.

No question, no contest. How bad was it? I own the DVD of Deathrace 2000 (1970's, carradine and stalone, get points for running people over) so you can see the level of my bad movie tolerance. If a DVD of The Piano enter my home, it would be automatically vaporised before it infected any of my collection.


----------



## Brian G Turner

Foxbat said:


> *Highlander 2 *was pretty bad.



In the voice of Connor McCloud: "There should have been only one!"


----------



## FireDragon-16

tangaloomababe said:


> The only movie I have walked out of the cinema because it was just awful was :Meet the Flockers. Why I even walked in is another question!!!
> 
> I didn't even like Meet the Parents. More fool me for going to see the second one. The third one was out of the question.


 
I don't know...I thought Meet the Parents was ok, but I definitely didn't care for Meet the Fockers. 
I haven't seen the third one, but when it came out, my parents, aunt, uncle and younger brother went to see it while I took my cousin and youngest brother to see Tangled. When we met up after the movies, they all said that they'd actually thought about walking out and joining us!


----------



## kythe

I liked both Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers.  It was the third one I found to be a let-down.  The third movie (whose title escapes me) lost a good bit of the comedy of the first two, as well as the interactions between the characters since they were separated for most of the movie.

My least favorite movie may well be "The Mists of Avalon".  I had high hopes for it since it is one of my favorite books, but the movie pacing was very choppy, had poor casting (some of the characters were the wrong age), poor acting, and generally strayed far from the book story.  About the only thing this movie had going for it were good sets and designs, very nice scenery, but that wasn't enough to make me want to rewatch it.


----------



## JunkMonkey

DrMclony said:


> The Piano.
> 
> No question, no contest. How bad was it? I own the DVD of Deathrace 2000 (1970's, carradine and stalone, get points for running people over) so you can see the level of my bad movie tolerance. If a DVD of The Piano enter my home, it would be automatically vaporised before it infected any of my collection.



Why?

Seriously. I ask because I'm afraid to watch _The Piano _again.  I remember it with great fondness from when it first came out.  I saw it in the cinema and thought it was great.  Somehow over the years I never got round to watching any of Jane Campion's other films until_ In The Cut _a couple of months ago - which I thought was the most godawful piece of pretentious crap I'd seen in years (I've probably railed against it somewhere on this thread but I'm too lazy to look.)  I daren't watch _The Piano _again in case it is the most pretentious wank and it destroys the memory of my enjoyment of it.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Starbeast said:


> *The Food of the Gods* (1976)
> 
> I've been a H.G. Wells fan since I was a kid, and I had high hopes for this film, but those hopes were smashed to pieces by this hunk of fecal matter. I think even Mr Wells was spinning in his grave at 10,000 mph when this awful movie was released.



It was directed by Bert I. Gordon and starred Marjoe Gortner.  You expected _quality_!?


----------



## Starbeast

JunkMonkey said:


> It was directed by Bert I. Gordon and starred Marjoe Gortner. You expected _quality_!?


 
As a young teen, I looked beyond Bert's name and eye-balled the cool looking movie poster. Plus the movie trailer was a short teaser with a great deal of hype, giant insects, super-sized chickens and huge hungry rats. Seemed cool at the time.

It was no worse than *Shark Attack 3: Megalodon *- A growling great white that can swallow a raft full of people and a guy on a jetski in one bite. I only saw hunks of the film, but that was enough to avoid this movie...forever.


----------



## Moonbat

The thrid one was called *Little Fockers*, and although I was pretty much against the first two (and also the third) it did make me chuckle a few times.

Is there a word for when you laugh at something you know you shouldn't and so you get annoyed with yourself for laughing, some kind of angry laugh?


----------



## JunkMonkey

Moonbat said:


> Is there a word for when you laugh at something you know you shouldn't and so you get annoyed with yourself for laughing, some kind of angry laugh?



If there is, it's bound to be German and have fifteen syllables.


----------



## Valko

Skyline was a particularly bad movie


----------



## Starbeast

*Monsters* (2011)

Avoid this boring and pointless space monster movie. A complete waste of time.


----------



## JamestheLast

I find that when I see a really bad movie my mind dulls the memory for me so I dont have to be traumatized by it for long. 
However, I have sat in school auditoriums where we had to watch certain "classic" films--so in terms of famous, I would have to say Godard's Weekend was the most unpleasant, and I had to see it twice.
Otherwise, the worst movie I have seen is probably Canadian. Night Zoo/Why Shoot the Teacher?/Deep Sleep or something by Atom Egoyan. If you want to be bored, depressed, annoyed, these will help you achieve that end.


----------



## Cam Winstanley

Got to agree with Dude, Where's My Car and the new King Kong, the latter scoring extra points for being incredibly expensive and STILL rubbish. 
But I'm going to go with the Keanu Reeves remake of The Day The Earth Stood Still. Incoherent, dull and an insult to one of the most significant movies of my childhood.


----------



## JunkMonkey

JamestheLast said:


> I would have to say Godard's Weekend was the most unpleasant, and I had to see it twice.



You have my deepest sympathy.  Once was enough for me.


----------



## CyBeR

Valko said:


> Skyline was a particularly bad movie



I'd even say ESPECIALLY bad movie on that one. 

*MacGrubber* gets a lot of points from me. My Gods was it dull for a comedy flick. 
The new *The Thing* was pretty...meh. Watched it a few days ago...I distinctly remember one scene only from it, and it's about as creepy as the film manages to get, with no expense spared for effects.


----------



## AnyaKimlin

For me the worst was the Blair Witch Project.   The only positive was I'd gone with a blind friend and it didn't need as much audio description as most movies do.


----------



## Jammill Khursheed

As Good As Dead (1995) It's a TV movie, but it has the greatest/worst (depending on how much you like bad films) but definitely cheesiest "gun on the mantelpiece" ending of all time, ever.  And you won't see it coming, nobody with any sense/intelligence/experience of the world, will.

You have to watch it yourself it's that bad, I won't give no spoilers as to what it is, but needless to say you will be laughing A LOT when it happens, even though it is not even remotely a comedy and you have had to sit through the worst film ever to get there, but it is worth it for that ending.  I don't believe in the ends justifying the means, but in this case the ends justify the 90 minutes of twaddle before it.  Plus it's got Judge Reinhold in, and I will watch just about anything with Judge Reinhold in.

If that doesn't qualify, and I have to pick a theatrical release, then the re-make version of the Ring 2 is the worst film.

But forget that, and forget what else you were planning to do today, you all MUST watch As Good As Dead as soon as is humanly possible.  It's worth it just for how much you will laugh at the ending, you'll thank me for it afterwards it's that unintentionally funny, and you will NEVER forget it.

NOTE - Don't just watch the ending though, it's not funny just dumb-looking if you do that, and the 90 minute build up is worth it for a punchline that good.


Jammill


----------



## Starbeast

*Buck Rogers in the 25th Century* (1979)

Theatrical version of the TV pilot...what were they thinking?

It was just so awful and very lame, completely uninteresting. I wanted to blast Twiki the robot with a laser pistol when I finished watching this movie.

Fortunately I didn't see the movie on the big screen, I rented it long ago on VHS for a buck. I heard it was bad, but I thought, "How bad could it be?" Then I found out. I saw this film only once.


----------



## j d worthington

Starbeast said:


> *Buck Rogers in the 25th Century* (1979)
> 
> I wanted to blast Twiki the robot with a laser pistol when I finished watching this movie.


 
To think that Mel Blanc had fallen to this level.... Ye gods!!!


----------



## Dave

Someone was telling me about this *The Human Centipede* film which I don't ever want to see. It just sounds sick.

My son made me watch *Wanted* the other day. It was bad, very bad! Imagine if you can, a mash-up of the _Matrix_ with the _Fast and Furious_. He told me to keep watching for the final twist. I jokingly guessed it would be an _Empire Strikes Back_ moment but I wasn't wrong. It was so predictably bad. Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman always play exactly the same parts, but I thought James McAvoy was actually very good in _The Last King of Scotland_ so my view of him has been reduced considerably.

But the worst film must be *Morons from Outer Space*. It is atrocious. What was Mike Hodges thinking? And it is easily the worst mistake Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones ever made.


----------



## CyBeR

Dave said:


> My son made me watch *Wanted* the other day. It was bad, very bad! Imagine if you can, a mash-up of the _Matrix_ with the _Fast and Furious_. He told me to keep watching for the final twist. I jokingly guessed it would be an _Empire Strikes Back_ moment but I wasn't wrong. It was so predictably bad. Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman always play exactly the same parts, but I thought James McAvoy was actually very good in _The Last King of Scotland_ so my view of him has been reduced considerably.



I'm just gonna go say that when a film uses a gimmick such as curving bullets by flicking the hand really hard (or whatever), you can expect things to get really **** in the end. 
Which is a tad too bad, since the comic book wasn't bad. It was actually quite entertaining, once you got over the absurd level of gore and violence.


----------



## Lilmizflashythang

Skyline. Absolutely no story.


----------



## Jammill Khursheed

Lilmizflashything: I couldn't agree more, but I'd say pointless more than actually bad, and somehow that's worse...


Jammill


----------



## Warren_Paul

The general consensus is that Skyline is terrible, but to be honest, I liked it. I'm sure there are much, much worse movies out there.


----------



## Starbeast

Dave said:


> Someone was telling me about this *The Human Centipede* film which I don't ever want to see. It just sounds sick.


 
Save your sanity and avoid that film at all costs. I found it too disturbing to finish watching (I fast forward through it). I enjoy a good horror film, but this one, Eee-yuck! Trust me, don't see it!

I can't believe a sequel was made as well...argh...


----------



## JunkMonkey

I don't think you guys are plumbing the depths.  I just had a quick read through this thread and most of the films suggested are at least in focus and had scripts.  If you want to really see some bad films I would suggest you go see: 

*Zombie Women of Satan* (2009)
'Highlights' include a nude female wheelchair-bound zombie squirting  acid from her nipples and a prolonged sequence in which we watch a dwarf crapping in the woods. A very long sequence.  We get to see the steaming pile at  the end too. _ Zombie Women of Satan _fails at everything. It's  not funny, it's not scary, it's not sexy, it's not even dreadful. It's  nothing.  It's the sort of cinematic farting that comes from people  watching a couple of Simon Pegg's films, thinking, "I can do that!" and  then proving they can't.

*Kannibal *(2001) What I learned from watching this film:  Shooting out on location  guerilla style; out on a London street say, (guerilla style because you  have no permissions to be filming on the streets); shooting brief  insert panning shots of a character walking round a corner; it's a neat  idea to do it from inside a parked car. Passers-by and the police are  less likely to spot you, and point at the camera, or try to arrest you.   Pretty standard cheapo film making technique. But I'd make sure there's  enough money in the budget to run the car through a car wash first.   Panning shot with fingerprints and glassy smears over them look like  ****.

*Invasion Earth: The Aliens Are Here *(1988) which was for a long time my most pointless film ever made till _Zombie Women of Satan_ turned up. _ Zombie Women of Satan _makes _Zombie Strippers_ look good.

*E.T.N.: The Extraterrestrial Nastie*  aka_ Night Fright (1967) _my IMDB review

*The Treasure of the Living Dead *(1981) a Jesus Franco masterpiece in which Nazi zombies guard a hidden treasure somewhere in the North American desert. 

go watch some of those. _ Event Horizon, Skyline, Morons from outer Space _ and even Ed Wood's  _Glen or Glenda  _ start to look watch-able.


----------



## gully_foyle

*Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th dimension*. It was supposed to be some kind of cult film, but it was soooooo bad. I tried on several occassions to watch it and each time I failed miserably.


----------



## JunkMonkey

gully_foyle said:


> *Buckaroo Banzai across the 8th dimension*. It was supposed to be some kind of cult film, but it was soooooo bad. I tried on several occassions to watch it and each time I failed miserably.



But..  but...  but...


----------



## Starbeast

JunkMonkey said:


> *The Treasure of the Living Dead *(1981) a Jesus Franco masterpiece in which Nazi zombies guard a hidden treasure somewhere in the North American desert.


 
Ever see *Oasis of the Zombies* (1981)? Jesus Franco along with second director A.M. Frank borrowed footage from The Treasure of the Living Dead. In this story a bunch of treasure seekers face-off to find Rommel's fortune hidden in North Africa, but find death from WW2 Nazi zombies. The film's quick pace made it a watchable movie. I liked it.

Oh, and most people either like or dislike *Buckaroo Banzai.* Great weird/cool movie.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Starbeast said:


> Ever see *Oasis of the Zombies* (1981)? Jesus Franco along with second director A.M. Frank borrowed footage from The Treasure of the Living Dead. In this story a bunch of treasure seekers face-off to find Rommel's fortune hidden in North Africa, but find death from WW2 Nazi zombies. The film's quick pace made it a watchable movie. I liked it.



As I understand it, _Oasis of the Zombies _ and  _The Treasure of the Living Dead_ is the same film with different titles:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0474531/releaseinfo#akas
(There might have been slight editorial differences for different releases.)

Jess Franco and AM Frank are the same person.  Franco used several Pseudonyms in his career;  A M Frank was just one of them.
_
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension _ is just great.


----------



## Alex The G and T

The most astonishingly awful thing cropped up on one of the satellite movie channels tonight.
*Blubberella.* http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1756427/http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1756427/
It tried so hard to capture the delightful ugliness of an early John Waters piece, and failed dismally.  This Lindsay Hollister person struggled admirably to emulate Divine, yet failed to capture the Divinity.  The least of her problems was that she was not a he.

The writing was clumsy and trite; struggling so hard to be deliciously outrageous, yet missing the mark.  Mostly.  

Killing people by smothering them in collossal bazoombas, and repetitive jokes about premature ejaculation can be funny; but in this case they grew tedious.

There were just enough jokes that worked, to keep my attention.  Mostly.  I can't believe I watched the whole thing.  Mostly.  Oddly, my wife was the one who refused to change the channel.

The highlight, other than a lot of Nazis meeting hideous deaths, being Ron "Opie" Howard's weird-ass brother, Clint.  Clint Howard is mostly known for bizarre, random cameos.  In this flick Clint carries a near-leading role, with style and hilarious grace.  It's a pity he gets wasted in the end.  (That was a spoiler; but who cares, in this turkey?)

Fans of _Pink Flamingos, Female Troubles, and Desperate Living_ will be alternately titillated and embarrassed by the abortive  attempts to pastiche the inimitable John Waters.

Postmortem websearch sez that it intended to be spoofing _BloodRayne._  I don't know from _Bloodrayne_.  Perhaps _Bloodrayne_ fans, who don't carry the baggage of the memory for early John Waters films might appreciate this more for what it is.


----------



## Diggler

Pretty much anything from Joe D'Amato fits into this category. Though D'Amato's films have that certain schlock factor that add another dimension of unintentional comedy.

The worst films I would have to say are Cannibal Ferox and Cannibal Holocaust. Any movie that has animal killing for pure entertainment value is lower than anything imaginable. I have also just read recently that the director of Cannibal Holocaust (Deodato) actually had a sadistic hands on role in the brutal stabbing of a native monkey that was in the film. Sick, disgusting and completely incomprehensible crap that should have never even been considered, let alone made.


----------



## Memnoch

*New Years Eve* . . . Unbelievably bad, truly awful, most things with Sarah Jessica Parker are though, I always feel a cavity coming on following watching anything she does!


----------



## Starbeast

*Robin Hood: Men in Tights* (1993)

I finally watched the entire movie...and it was tough to sit through. It was just awful and unfunny. The movie had potential and great comedians in it, but the creators of the film wasted everything on lame jokes. David Chappelle is a very funny comedian, he always cracks me up, but in this film he was completely subdued, he would have been my choice to play Robin Hood.


----------



## clovis-man

TCM was showing *Scott of the Antarctic* today in observation of the 100th anniversary of that ill-fated expedition to the South Pole. I've seen bits and pieces of the movie over the years, but this is the first time I actually sat and watched the entire movie. John Mills was properly courageous in the title role with a host of British character actors surrounding him. For the time it was filmed (1948), it was as realistic as the medium could sustain.


----------



## Starbeast

*The Mole People* (1956)

So dull, I thought I was dead. I only liked the Mole creatures.


----------



## David Evil Overlord

_The Sound Of Thunder._

Where do I begin? 

When time gets screwed up by a time machine mis-used by Evil Corporation(TM), only the scientist who invented it knows what's going to happen. But how does she _know_, since she hasn't had the chance to test her theories by, say, really changing the past?

Every newly-evolved critter is a carnivore. Huge herds and flocks of carnivores, without a single herbivore to prey on. Even the vines are carnivorous. Ever heard of ecological balance, guys?

Oh, and it doesn't matter how many people die during the movie. Fix the original paradox, and everything will go back to the moment it all went wrong, because it won't. Comforting as the lizard-apes tear you apart.

But, the moment it all went wrong was during a _Tyrannosaurus Rex_ hunt. Possibly because the _T. Rex_ had three-fingered hands instead of the two-fingered hands he should have.

Our heroes (those still alive) have to go back in time to the original hunt. Just because this same _T. Rex_ has been hunted by wealthy big-game hunters hundreds of times and none of the hunters/time travellers have ever met at this moment in time despite all travelling back to it, and the success of Our Heroes depends on them meeting themselves even though the time machine doesn't allow that...


----------



## juelz4sure

Basket Case, I literally wanted to gouge my eyes out.


----------



## Starbeast

*Fear of Clowns* (2006)

I had forgotten I had a copy of this movie that was given to me as a gift. In the back of my mind, I chuckled as I remembered chatting with others here about how scary clowns are. The negativity about the colorful circus performers made my interest grow so much that I finally decided to watch this flick.

The title of the film should be changed to: *Boring Unimaginative Killer Clown Movie*


----------



## torontones

Godzilla remake


----------



## J-WO

I think it was called Space Camp and it was about a bunch of kids who ended up on the shuttle-can't remember how.

It might not be all that bad but it sticks in my mind because SC was the first time I realized going to the cinema could be a crappy let down. Ah, childhood's end...


----------



## JunkMonkey

J-WO said:


> I think it was called Space Camp and it was about a bunch of kids who ended up on the shuttle-can't remember how.
> 
> It might not be all that bad but it sticks in my mind because SC was the first time I realized going to the cinema could be a crappy let down. Ah, childhood's end...









http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091993/


----------



## Venusian Broon

Currently, 

Without a shadow of a doubt, 

_Pirates of the Carribean. _Any of them - all of them in fact.  

It is a plane crash causing a train wreck, spilling over onto a motorway pileup of a plot (I suppose such monstrosities will always attract bemused viewers...)

Before I saw _At Worlds End_ last night, I would have nominated _I am Legend _(for crimes against humanity if I could).


----------



## FireDragon-16

I'd have to say *Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)*. 

It had some funny parts but overall it was pretty stupid, much worse than the first one.


----------



## TomS

As an X Files fan, I have to say that I bought the DVD of the 2nd movie and I never finished watching it. It just couldn't hold my attention.

As for the most regrettable movie I ever watched all the way through, I'd say Star Trek:Insurrection. It would have made a good two parter episode but IMO the story wasn't "big" enough to be a movie.


----------



## Foxbat

Starbeast said:


> *The Mole People* (1956)
> 
> So dull, I thought I was dead. I only liked the Mole creatures.


 
I got  this sent over from the USA. Wished I hadn't bothered.


----------



## J-WO

JunkMonkey said:


> http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091993/



Gah! Flashback!!!


----------



## Venusian Broon

JunkMonkey said:


>


 
Let's see, I have never ever seen this movie but just from the image you've posted...

Characters: 

*Blond Cheerleader* - Either dumb or a bitch. Or both. Character for male viewers to drool over. For dumb/bitch girls in audience to emphasise with.
*All-American football hero* - Strong but condescending. Character for female viewers to drool over. For popular boys in audience to emphasise with.
*Short boy* (it is a boy yes?)- Underdog that either produces 'Awww!' moments or fails at everything physical (because of his height and his lack of confidence). But he saves the entire mission using his brains. Geek/loser boys in audience to emphasise with.
*Brunnette tomboy* - Angry, shy and emo at first but gets the All-American hero as a boyfriend at end against all expectations. Geek/loser girls in audience to emphasise with. 
*Obligatory ethnic minorty* - Has the most upright and moral character and is definintely not a gangsta. For the ethnic minorities in the audience to emphasise with.
*Kate Chapshaw* - Some semblence that this movie might be kinda decent, as hey wasn't she in an Indiania Jones film...

*Plot:* A group of mismatched kids are brought together at a summer space camp, who at first don't like each other, but through escapades and a life threatening situation learn the lesson of working together as they save their lives, the shuttle and NASA's reputation and discover friends for life...


----------



## J-WO

*Venusian*- Michael Bay just called me. He's says your new job starts Wednesday.


----------



## Venusian Broon

J-WO said:


> *Venusian*- Michael Bay just called me. He's says your new job starts Wednesday.


 
Excellent! I have actually got a pitch ready for him. I call it 'Space Camp 2' and it's about a group of mismatched kids together at a summer space camp...


----------



## J-WO

Throw in a CGI cute and 'amusing' character and it's a deal.


----------



## Venusian Broon

Instead of shorty we have a fat kid who provides the comic relief and the obligitory ethnic minority is a hyper bright japanese-american who has smuggled his 'pet' robot onto camp, ensuing chaos and escapades as it gets them all into trouble.

They are chased by men in black baddies all the time - who we think are protecting something secret. But in the end it turns out that the head of the men in black is actually the estranged father of the cheerleader. So at the end these two characters make up and start afresh and on the road to a fulfilling father-daughter relationship, and everyone else is happy (including the robot which was crushed in the penultimate act, but NASA scientists re-build it secretly making it 10x better than before...)

The tag line should be: 

_"Friendship is not rocket science"_


----------



## J-WO

Goaaaaaal!!!!!


----------



## Venusian Broon

oh dear, all this discussion of Space camp 2 has unleased a wave of BS...

Apologies to all that read the following...

So, 

The mentor of the group of kids (I see Drew Barrymore) is secretly in love with the head of the MiB (Steve Gutenberg??) , but because she cannot control this dysfunctional group is fired in the final act. (Mainly because the robot rewired most of the base, causing immense damage...)

The children realising they have hurt a lovely and great person are down so pull together... in this moment the Cheerleader, who has been a bitch all this time has an emotional moment and tells the Tomboy and Fat kid that she is nasty because she never grown up with her father and her mom died a few years ago - and the Tomboy somehow works out (from previous foreshadowing) that the MiB head is the father so they race after him to confront him....

...but instead get trapped in a test firing room, a test firing that can't be stopped, nor the room opened when the _*countdown* _is started....except for Fat kid who is too slow. So he toddles off to get everyone else to get help. 

Fat kid, Quarterback and Brains stop Drew before she leaves the camp, tell her the peril the two girls are in. She races to Steve, who finds out about his daughter for the first time. They put mission control on alert, but...

Steve: "When the blast doors are shut we can't stop the test, it's automated. We've only got 10 minutes."
Quarterback: (looking at Brains and Fatkid) "I've got a plan"

they race off...

...and use the robot to rewire the door so that it will open and the Quarterback races in and rescues the Cheerleader & Tomboy while professing his feelings for the Tomboy (who's growing up from a tomboy into a young woman, in case we are having any gender confusion moments...)

Just in time they get out before the place blows up, but Brains had to sacrifice his beloved robot, now a molten mess of metal...

It ends with the group leaving the space camp, sad and dejected some days later, but Steve comes up behind them and orders them to stop. When they turn around, Steve gives an emotional speech and asks if the Cheerleader would like to live with him and he could perhaps learn to be her father...and then Drew pops in and puts her arms around Steve and says perhaps she could have a mom too...then Steve produces a rebuilt robot to Brains to his delight. Quarterback and Tomboy kiss. And finally Fatkid then says something really funny and they all laugh. 

The END.


----------



## JunkMonkey

You forgot the final shot of villain demoted to the lowest position possible in the organization and reduced to performing a menial task that ends with him getting covered in noxious slime - to the amusement of all.


----------



## Venusian Broon

I was thinking of straight-to-DVD disney, and yes some obnoxious character (with side kick) getting demoted would be perfect. 

Probably at the start he's the second in command to Steve so does his best to put a spanner in the works and _he_ fancies Drew...


----------



## Starbeast

*Invasion of the Blood Farmers* (1972)

A small group of evil farmers (decendants from ancient druids) abduct people to suck out their blood and test it to see if they can resurrect their queen to wed the devil and take over the world.

Can the town's only two inept policemen stop them?

Can the town's scientist find out why a blood sample from a dead victim keeps growing?

Will the town's people finally care that men & women are missing at a rapid rate?

Can any of the alcoholics get out of the one popular bar/pub and do something to help? Or is it more fun to just talk about the strange going's on in the rural town?

Who cares.

Another hunk of junk horror flick that should disappear without a trace. THEE only (unintentionally) funny part of the movie is the last nine minutes of the film. What a climax, sheesh....


----------



## Alien Dynasty

The Son of the Mask.  As a massive fan of the comic series and the first movie, this was just like a bad dream.  Not funny, bad acting, lame plot.


----------



## J-WO

Venusian Broon said:


> I was thinking of straight-to-DVD disney, and yes some obnoxious character (with side kick) getting demoted would be perfect.
> 
> Probably at the start he's the second in command to Steve so does his best to put a spanner in the works and _he_ fancies Drew...



If we keep this up, Space Camp will get its very own forum here on the Chrons. Scary.


----------



## Allegra

Maybe I'm lowbrow, many people think *Dogville* as a classic masterpiece but I found it irritatingly dull and gloomy.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Allegra said:


> Maybe I'm lowbrow, many people think *Dogville* as a classic masterpiece but I found it irritatingly dull and gloomy.



I've never got to the end of anything directed by Lars von Trier so you are not alone.
*
Invasion of the Blood Farmers *(1972) though!  I'm off to find that one...


----------



## sanityassassin

Starbeast said:


> *Monsters* (2011)
> 
> Avoid this boring and pointless space monster movie. A complete waste of time.



totally agree the movie seemed to last an eternity and was the biggest pile of tripe I have ever had the misfortune to watch and I watch some dross movies on the horror channel


----------



## Mouse

Have I said Bridget Jones already? It's on TV now. God I hate this film. Hate and detest everything about it.


----------



## Venusian Broon

Mouse said:


> Have I said Bridget Jones already? It's on TV now. God I hate this film. Hate and detest everything about it.


 
That's one of those films (are there two or even more? who knows they all meld together into one for me) that I have never, nor am never likely to ever, sit through in it's entirety and watch. Or even peek a further 10 minutes at.

If we were giving out categories for the various worst films of all time, and the next category was remakes, then my vote definitely goes to the remake of the _'The Vanishing'. _Perhaps someone here has seem the remake of the '_The Wickerman' _and can tell me if that trumps it.


----------



## Mouse

Venusian Broon said:


> That's one of those films (are there two or even more? who knows they all meld together into one for me) that I have never, nor am never likely to ever, sit through in it's entirety and watch. Or even peek a further 10 minutes at.



I've never seen it the whole way through either. Too awful!


----------



## JunkMonkey

Number three is in pre-production:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1473832/


----------



## Darth Angelus

Super Mario Bros was really awful, as I recall. That one probably wins this.


----------



## Alien Dynasty

Darth Angelus said:


> That one probably wins this.


 
Yeah, that movie was pretty bad.


----------



## Starbeast

juelz4sure said:


> *Basket Case*, I literally wanted to gouge my eyes out.


 
Wow........ I liked it, and it's two sequels. Ok, I'm running away now.



torontones said:


> *Godzilla* remake


 
There are two remakes: The first one appeared after the giant lizard took a break (1977) and returned to the big screen nine years later in _*Godzilla 1985. *_Actor Raymond Burr reprised his role from the original 1954 film, and starred in this horribly bad updated version

Then in 1998, actors Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno starred in *Godzilla*, which explored new heights of weirdness in this awful second remake.

I'm a tremendous GODZILLA fan, and I was stunned at how terrible both movies were.



Foxbat said:


> *The Mole People* I got  this sent over from the USA. Wished I hadn't bothered.


 
One of the worst Universal International movies I've ever seen. They should made it into a comedy.



JunkMonkey said:


> *Invasion of the Blood Farmers *(1972) I'm off to find that one...


 
I can't wait to hear your reaction.



sanityassassin said:


> *Monsters* Totally agree the movie seemed to last an eternity and was the biggest pile of tripe I have ever had the misfortune to watch and I watch some dross movies on the horror channel


 
It was a big pile alright. Yet, someone thought it should be made. Eep....


*HUMONGOUS* (1981)

Teenagers who can't get along with each other get shipwrecked on an abandoned island where they discover a mad killer.

Will the teens stop fighting amongst themselves?

Will they continue to separate and get picked off by the killer one-by-one?

Why do the teens want to know about the killer's past?

Why did the director film so many scenes in total darkness?

Was it really worth risking their lives going into the rundown mansion to find matches, when they already know the killer lives there?

Why does the killer stand still when he's set on fire?

Who cares.

This movie should have been titled: A HUMONGOUS Waste of Time.


----------



## Shane Enochs

Darth Angelus said:


> Super Mario Bros was really awful, as I recall. That one probably wins this.



Maybe if we collectively decide that that movie never happened, it'll disappear from existence.


----------



## Anathem

I can't remember which one it was, but it was either *The Transporter* or one of it's sequels. It is the only movie where I couldn't make it to the end, and actually walked out of theater 1/2 way through it was so bad.


----------



## psychotick

Hi,

Highlander II. On its own this would simply have been a bad movie, but as a sequel to what is one of my favourite movies of all time, it really has to be flushed down a toilet, along with whoever wrote it, directed it, and produced it.

It does though illustrate the answer to an important question, how do you make a bad sequel. The answer or at least the first step is to throw away the script.

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## EricWard

Let it be known that I generally love garbage movies (_Troll 2 _, _Robot Monster_, and _The Room _are some of my favorites). Bad horror/sci-fi typically make for at least passable comedies. But the worst, worst, worst thing that I have ever seen in my life is _Black Devil Doll from Hell_.

A movie shot in the mid-80s, on a VHS camera in the director's house, where a devil-possessed ventriloquist dummy repeatedly rapes a woman for about 60 minutes. And then the movie ends. That is literally 80% of the movie.

The biggest shock? That the movie was actually released. Not even so-bad-it's-good. Far worse than _Manos_, _Eegah!_ or anything MST3K ever did.

There is not enough liquor in the world to make that seem like a good idea.


----------



## JunkMonkey

_Black Devil Doll from Hell_ is lurking on my hard drive somewhere.  I've never been desperate enough for a bad movie fix to watch it.

Last night I thoroughly enjoyed the awfulness of Jess Franco's _Kiss Me Monster_.  I may have to watch it again tonight to see if I can make _any_ sense of it at all.


----------



## Kylara

Hmm has to be a seriously weird Dante's Inferno animation. Putting aside the weirdly sexual representations of the 'bosses' (it was made and based on the game) each section was designed by a different house, so the colouring, shape, size, look in fact the entire thing changed everytime we moved on a level, so much so that we were constantly checking with each other who was who and whether we were going mad or is his guide now a massive 6ft+ axe weilding scary person...very strange and far too weirdly disjointed to make much sense...basically they made a movie of the game very badly without any of the drawing houses talking to each other and with a different storyline to the game...fairly decent animation but waaaay too weird...here it is http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dante%27s_Inferno:_An_Animated_Epic


----------



## Cayal

Twilight...followed by Hunger Games.

Yes I said it.


----------



## Kylara

Hmm Snakes on a Plane, whilst funny was just too much suspension of disbelief. Reptiles in the hold will not be able to move about like that it is faaaaarrrr too cold. Also I never understood how that barricade they made on the stairs would work. They are snakes -_- 
Also the Land of the Lost was terrible. I tend to love awful films, purely for their awfulness...but these were just terrible.
And Cayal, totally agree and wish to add the remake of Inglorious Basterds to the list of horrificness...actually everything that Tarantino has ever made or directed.


----------



## kshRox

Batman Rises is right up there near the top.
Anything after The Highlander with Christopher Lambert.
Just about anything with Will Ferrel with the exception of his Nascar Spoof and Stranger than Fiction.


----------



## biodroid

kshRox - do you mean Dark Knight Rises? Why was it so bad. I thought it was brilliant, and the profits it generated also suggest the same.


----------



## JunkMonkey

biodroid said:


> kshRox - do you mean Dark Knight Rises? Why was it so bad. I thought it was brilliant, and the profits it generated also suggest the same.



Hmmmm the good old Hollywood 'If it makes instant sh*tloads of money it must be good, if it doesn't make instant sh*tloads of money it must be bad' logic.


----------



## kshRox

biodroid said:


> kshRox - do you mean Dark Knight Rises? Why was it so bad. I thought it was brilliant, and the profits it generated also suggest the same.


 
I know a lot of people liked it, but I couldn't stand it.
The villain was pathetic, the plot too diffused, the relationships made no sense.  The first scene struck me as absolutely ridiculous and unworkable.  (I thought the reboot was all about getting away from the cartoony aspects and portraying a more realistic story)

 . . . and from there it went downhill.

I agree with this review completely.


----------



## CyBeR

Sorry, I stopped reading that review at the point in which it starts calling people that have enjoyed the film simple minded idiots from his great, lofty reviewer heights. 
...
Actually wait, let's soldier on. A great problem of his is that the movie didn't feature Batman enough for his tastes, because God forbid a super hero movie did anything different from the norm.
And the review ends in babble about concepts he willfully ignores from the film (or plain did not get), and assumptions about the creators of the film. As he says, _classy_.

I don't have anything against people not enjoying something I did, it's only natural. Des gustibus non disputandum and all that. I just got a bone to pick with the entire film review media for all their inconsistencies, grand standing and elitistic ********.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Cyber, that reviewer doesn't call anyone an idiot, simple minded or otherwise.  He does say: 





> There will be people who like this film.  I will submit that mostly they’re bamboozled by some combination of: ...



Which is not the same thing.

And as it_ had _occurred to me (as I was watching it) that:



> if _The Dark Knight_ had not had the hypnotically intense presence of Heath Ledger, it would’ve just been a too-long, too-loud mess?



...I doubt if I will bother going to see  _Dark Knight Rises_ anyway.


----------



## Stephen4444

Star Wars Episode I,II and III were a travesty.


----------



## CyBeR

JunkMonkey said:


> Cyber, that reviewer doesn't call anyone an idiot, simple minded or otherwise.  He does say:
> 
> Which is not the same thing.
> 
> And as it_ had _occurred to me (as I was watching it) that:
> 
> 
> 
> ...I doubt if I will bother going to see  _Dark Knight Rises_ anyway.



That may be as you say, but I choose to feel insulted by his list, and by his review. 
You do not feel that it's insulting for someone to interpret you liking a film to you just being "bamboozled" by a sexy woman in tight clothes.
I however, do feel it's insulting and will have none of it.


----------



## JunkMonkey

CyBeR said:


> That may be as you say, but I choose to feel insulted by his list, and by his review.
> You do not feel that it's insulting for someone to interpret you liking a film to you just being "bamboozled" by a sexy woman in tight clothes.
> I however, do feel it's insulting and will have none of it.



That's your right.  Though I just want in on record that if Anne Hathaway wants to come round to my house and try bamboozle the hell out of me I wouldn't complain.


----------



## kshRox

I do think people waited so long and wanted to like the movie so bad that they may have turned a bit of a blind eye on many of its flaws.


----------



## CyBeR

In my case I did not expect the return of the Joker honestly. That, and I am incredibly flexible when it comes to liking things. I do not go into a lot of movies expecting to see Moon or Cidade de deus or Lord of war, or whatever "smarter" film that I've ever seen. I go in for a good time and will come out feeling disappointed if I did not have a good time, if there was NOTHING in the film worth the time and effort of watching it (case in point, something like the Resident Evil: Afterlife...I could honestly not enjoy a moment of it because of how ludicrous EVERYTHING was, from visuals, to a plane that keeps on flying, to an organization turning more people into zombies AFTER the freaking Zombie Apocalypse). 

As for Batman, I quite enjoyed it on what it had. 
Bane as a villain to me was a great choice, he felt like someone that could take on Batman in a fist fight and actually conquer him. I liked the muzzle concept as it made him impervious to any show of emotion, thus getting him characterized on a pure verbal level (which I enjoyed as I got a handle on the character quite well). 
The breaking of the bat was a well executed moment in which an overconfident Batman is brought to his knees by the very elements that were his usual safe spots. 
The rise of the bat was again well made. I've seen enough such exposition in comics to not be bothered by it one bit (as I've seen most people were). If he would've been told the story or not, the outcome would have been the very same, just that someone else would have had to enlighten him as to why his lady love suddenly stabbed him. 

And there are other elements because of which I liked the film. There are FAR worse superhero movies out there (The fantastic four anyone?), and there are better (Spider Man 2 - with the single most ridiculous scene in the whole genre -, The dark knight), but this I wouldn't drop down to the bottom of the list.

I will echo what kshRox said: Some people may have waited so long for this film, and wanted it so bad to be as good as the previous one, that they may have inflated some of its flaws. The reverse can be as equally justified.


----------



## Action Avenue

Cabin Boy (from 1994 starring Chris Elliott)


----------



## psychotick

Hi,

Haven't seen the Dark Knight Rises yet, and will wait till it comes out on dvd. I liked the first of dark knight trilogy, but the second just annoyed me. Perhaps Heath's charm simply did not work on me. 

But the main thing I got peeved about was that his Joker character is claiming on the one hand to never plan anything, he hates planners and planning, and on the other he simply expects me to believe that such a twisted and detailed plot with traps within traps simply happened on the spur of the moment? That idea simply derailed the movie for me.

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## biodroid

JunkMonkey said:
			
		

> ...I doubt if I will bother going to see  _Dark Knight Rises_ anyway.



Your loss, it has the same calibre as TDK but more of a Batman Begins feel. The problem with reviewers is they dig too deep into a movie instead of enjoying for what it is and not how bad the Bane is compared to the Joker. Its not about comparing the two movies, its about how well the trilogy works as a whole. It wraps up the story very well with a bit of an open ended ending.

I stopped digging too deep into movies because then I realised there wont be any good movies to watch, why, because every movie is flawed in some way or another, there is no such thing as a perfect movie. 

Yes I do think TDKR has flaws but its still worth watching to finish the story.


----------



## Venusian Broon

Ah, so many bad movies out there. 

My new nomination for the monith is _Lesbian Vampire Killers. _Which I had the misfortune of catching on telly recently. However I couldn't make it to the end, so perhaps it had a sapphic blood drenched climax that made up for the evil smelling turd of the first 2/3rds* 

 But I really really doubt it. 



* 1) I can't justify how I got that far - my best excuse is that I was on the laptop at the same time doing other stuff
   2) Is that a record for that film? Or are there people out there that have sat through it all?


----------



## JunkMonkey

biodroid said:


> I stopped digging too deep into movies because then I realised there wont be any good movies to watch, why, because every movie is flawed in some way or another, there is no such thing as a perfect movie.



The Platonic Movie!  I like it.  No, you're right, there is no such thing as the perfect film, but the whole point is that if the film falls to bits _as you are watching it_, then there is something seriously wrong. 

I regularly become so engrossed in a film that my critical faculties vanish for the duration.  They may come back after the film has finished when my logic centres will start pointing out logic inconsistencies - and that's fine. If they are silent _during_ the movie it means the film makers have flim flammed me for 90 minutes into believing their story.  I want all films to do that to me.  That's all anyone can really ask.   If my critical inner nitpicker is chipping in _during_ the film.  Then the fault is either with me - for choosing the wrong film - or the film-makers for not having done their jobs well enough.


----------



## Huttman

Stephen4444 said:


> Star Wars Episode I,II and III were a travesty.



Episodes 1,2 & 3 made 1.3 billion dollars in ticket sales alone...domestically. I should think all directors who make so called travesty movies would hope to make that kind of money.

In all actuality, those movies were far from a travesty. I grew up with the originals and I know plenty of people younger, my age and older who quite enjoyed the prequels. The haters of these movies just seem to scream louder than the ones who liked them.


----------



## TheDustyZebra

Well, it would almost have to be that one with Chris Farley and David Spade. Yeah, that one. Or, wait, maybe it was that one with Jim Carrey, you know the one? No, no, it would have to be that one with Rodney Dangerfield.

On the other hand, Dune put me to sleep about halfway through. I couldn't stand more than half of The Big Lebowski or Glengarry Glen Ross. And I had to give up on Reservoir Dogs at the point where they doused the cop in gasoline and set him on fire, which wasn't anywhere near the middle, and have steadfastly refused to try any more of those. So the real winner here would have to be that one by Quentin Tarantino.


----------



## Venusian Broon

Huttman said:


> Episodes 1,2 & 3 made 1.3 billion dollars in ticket sales alone...domestically. I should think all directors who make so called travesty movies would hope to make that kind of money.


 
That's the cash he made from crushing and wringing the goodwill and expectations, choking, from the shocked mouths of the hundreds upon hundreds of million people. Burning years and years of eager excitment. 




> In all actuality, those movies were far from a travesty. I grew up with the originals and I know plenty of people younger, my age and older who quite enjoyed the prequels. The haters of these movies just seem to scream louder than the ones who liked them.


 
Just to balance this statement, I was of the generation that 1977 and Starwars was _the _seminal cinema moment, mile long queues around the blocks to get in, feverish excitement, multiple viewings, a great film and experience. BUT I don't know _anyone_ at all young or old that enjoyed the prequels. The likers (love is too strong a word I feel for these movies) of these movies are either non-existent, ashamed or embarrassed. 


ok, ok I'm being a bit harsh for effect, so before you take a pop at me , fair enough if you liked them, each to his own. I'd never fallen asleep at the cinema until I tried to watch Episode II, which is by far the worst movie of the three by a long shot. But by some strange symmetry I thought episode III was actually reasonable within it's own faults, which made up for the Ewoks at the end of episode VI in some sort of bizzare mirror-sense. 

Personally if I have been George, I'd have done one prequel only, showing the birth of Vader and ditching the first two chapters , then done a series of sequels so that the audience didn't know where the story was going.


----------



## MemoryTale

I think Episode 1 would ahve been OK if they'd ditched most/all of the comedy elements. Episode 2 was alright in the second half, but I agree the first was possibly the most boring hour ever commited to ceulluloid. Episode 3 was pretty good, I just felt that Anakin went from "What have I done?" to remorselessly killing children WAY too easily.


----------



## Metryq

SKYLINE—a completely plot-less movie. I've seen pinball games that were deeper than this.


----------



## Huttman

Venusian Broon said:


> Personally if I have been George, I'd have done one prequel only, showing the birth of Vader and ditching the first two chapters , then done a series of sequels so that the audience didn't know where the story was going.



That is a good idea. I think he was trying to follow a formula he set back in 1977-83 to tell the story of Anakin's generation. Perhaps it was the same but too different for most...not sure if that makes sense or not. Do you mean sequels after Return of the Jedi or sequels to Anakin's fall and him hunting Jedi and Empire building, because I think that is what you meant. After all, the story does end after the Sith become no more with Palpatine dying and Vader turning to the light side. Hopefully the live action show (if it ever gets made) will fill that gap.

Metryq, I also agree it was too quickly paced for certain events to unfold. I don't fault the pace myself, but also understand Lucas was using the same formula I mentioned above to make these movies resulting that certain sacrifices were made to tell that story because [the story] had grown so immensely. In the original movies, I always thought Luke's training time with Obi-Wan and Yoda were far too short. Perhaps the Force had trained Luke the rest of the time?


----------



## Metryq

Huttman said:


> Metryq, I also agree it was too quickly paced for certain events to unfold.



Huh? I wasn't commenting on any of the STAR WARS movies, Huttman. I was warning others away from a movie called SKYLINE.

But since you brought it up...

The "first" STAR WARS trilogy ("Hope", "Empire" and "Jedi") was good entertainment, but suffered under the burden of its own success towards the end. Making the prequels was a mistake only because everyone already knew what was going to happen. A good writer or writers might have pulled off such a stunt. Since "Hope" had already been subtitled "Episode IV," the temptation was just too great. George succumbed to the Dark Side—"quicker, easier, more seductive." 

And so the prequel trilogy became a geek-fest, fulfilling everything the otaku fans already knew and catering to the five-year-old toy-buying crowd with more filler crap than a cheap hotdog. George cannot resist constantly vandalizing the first trilogy, either.

He should have gone forward, or done something else.


----------



## Huttman

Oops...my bad, Metryq. Sorry. I meant that as a comment on MemoryTales statement


----------



## clovis-man

Venusian Broon said:


> Personally if I have been George, I'd have done one prequel only, showing the birth of Vader and ditching the first two chapters , then done a series of sequels so that the audience didn't know where the story was going.


 
I think he just tried to do what he said he would do. In a Rolling Stone article published the year that the first SW movie was released, he said that there would be 9 movies. Episodes 4 thru 6 and then 3 prequel episodes followed by 3 sequels. The only characters that would appear in all 9 would be the two droids. Obviously time and tide have ruled out the last three. And slavishly doing all 3 of the prequels may not have been the best decision. But we're only human, after all.


----------



## CyBeR

Metryq said:


> SKYLINE—a completely plot-less movie. I've seen pinball games that were deeper than this.



Skyline felt more like a special effect advertisement piece rather than a film. It was a film that I honestly couldn't enjoy, as the acting was so bad and the whole story such a ridiculous mess.


----------



## Sapha

I'm also going to go with _Skyline_ as being the worst film I have subjected my eyes and mind to. There are no words to describe the lameness of this flick. I want my 94 minutes of life back.


----------



## Galacticdefender

Huttman said:


> Episodes 1,2 & 3 made 1.3 billion dollars in ticket sales alone...domestically. I should think all directors who make so called travesty movies would hope to make that kind of money.
> 
> In all actuality, those movies were far from a travesty. I grew up with the originals and I know plenty of people younger, my age and older who quite enjoyed the prequels. The haters of these movies just seem to scream louder than the ones who liked them.


 

They were good movies, but nowhere near as good as the originals. Episode 3 was alright though, probably better than the first two prequels combined.

Worst recent film I saw was The Dictator. That movie just... Sucked all around.


----------



## Cayal

MemoryTale said:


> I just felt that Anakin went from "What have I done?" to remorselessly killing children WAY too easily.



Yeah. The Clones Wars series helps this a bit but the transition was quick.

Though it is hard to do in the space of 2 movies.


----------



## Gramm838

I've not read every post, but I'd like to present the following as the worst film I've seen:

Jonny Mnemonic  

Starring the featureless (has he no muscles in his face?) Keanu Reeves...I was so let down by the film as the short story it was based on was written by one of my favourite authors - William Gibson (who had a small part in the film I think)

The idea was great but it was such a low budget production that the story was never done justice.


----------



## AE35Unit

Gramm838 said:


> I've not read every post, but I'd like to present the following as the worst film I've seen:
> 
> Jonny Mnemonic
> 
> Starring the featureless (has he no muscles in his face?) Keanu Reeves...I was so let down by the film as the short story it was based on was written by one of my favourite authors - William Gibson (who had a small part in the film I think)
> 
> The idea was great but it was such a low budget production that the story was never done justice.



Never seen it but want to.


----------



## JunkMonkey

*


			
				MemoryTale[/B said:
			
		


			]   I just felt that Anakin went from "What have I done?" to remorselessly killing children WAY too easily.

Click to expand...




Cayal said:



			Yeah. The Clones Wars series helps this a bit but the transition was quick.

Though it is hard to do in the space of 2 movies.
		
Click to expand...


Two whole movies! Luxury! Anakin is just Macbeth with a light sabre. And I've seen Macbeth performed in less than two hours. There's nothing new or thematically difficult about his seduction to Evil / The Dark Side. "Vaulting ambition, which o'erleaps itself, And falls on th'other," is the same in medieval Scotland, in a galaxy far far away, or in the corridors of the White House, Downing Street, or the Kremlin.  It's not a new story.  It's just Lucas is such a ponderous film-maker he can't fit all the material into a decent run time.  Faced with a four hour rough cut he then chops out dialogue stuff with  psychological depth and character development (just go look at the deleted scenes on the last couple of films) and leaves in all the tedious establishing shots of spacecraft arriving at YET ANOTHER planet we have never heard of before in order to squeeze in another commercial for Toys R Us pleasing sets of action figures.  I mean that giant lizard that suddenly appeared from nowhere for  Ewan Mcgregor to ride about on for a bit.  You could almost hear the cash registers in Mattel's* offices ringing when that one appeared in the storyboards.

And I never understood why, if everyone has instantaneous pan-galactic communication** didn't Princess Layercake just send the plans of the Death Star over the phone before the start of 'Episode IV'.   That would have saved a lot of hassle.  But maybe the instantaneous pan-galactic communication system was down that day.  Or only does voice.  Who knows.  Who cares? I know I didn't by the end of Episode !!! .

Star Wars was a fun little film in it's day.  The more Lucas has added to it the less it has become.


I didn't think Jonny Mnemonic was THAT bad.  I saw it for the first time earlier this year. I don't rate Willam Gibson as much as some do but he threw a fair few ideas at the screen which is always good in an SF film.



*or whoever.

** eg Ewan McGregor endlessly checking in with Jedi HQ in real time and  The Emperor telling the clones to kill everyone as he did in the last  film.*


----------



## JunkMonkey

Gramm838 said:


> I was so let down by the film as the short story it was based on was written by one of my favourite authors - William Gibson (who had a small part in the film I think)



He also wrote the screenplay.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/000224618X/?tag=brite-21


----------



## MontyCircus

*8mm*.  I hate Nicholas Cage and this is just the stupidest film.  I didn't know whether to walk out or what.  Just violently bad!


----------



## mr kite

Tough question . 
Prob the highest profile film I`ve had the un pleasure of watching (lo paying for) is 
Lost In Translation . shockin .


----------



## AE35Unit

Possibly Plan B from Outer Space. So bad its awful


----------



## Robert C Adams

Space Truckers was the worst movie I have ever seen and I didn't totally hate it or anything but it was topped by the remake of I Spit On Your Grave which I thought would at least be campy and fun but was really lame, but it did have a pretty cool box cover.


----------



## MontyCircus

mr kite said:


> Tough question .
> Prob the highest profile film I`ve had the un pleasure of watching (lo paying for) is
> Lost In Translation . shockin .



I didn't like it either.  Then I lived in China and Thailand for 4 years.  I could really relate to it after that...the isolation...the quirkiness of it all...


----------



## manephelien

Event Horizon. I'm surprised I watched it to the end.


----------



## JunkMonkey

manephelien said:


> Event Horizon. I'm surprised I watched it to the end.



More than I did.

Currently my contenders for the worst film I have seen (for a bit) are _Ninja Dragon_ and _Ninja Terminator_ two 'films' made by taking pre-existing Asian gangster films... and adding new footage  to them (of Ninjas) which looks like it was shot in hotel bedrooms.

I suspect it's _Ninja Dragon_ that's going to win.I had no idea what was supposed to be going on for most of the running time but the Shanghai poker game sequence that opens the film is one of pure cinematic genius.  I've watched that sequence several times over the last couple of weeks now (it's like a scab that you just can't help picking; it's horrible) and I am still unable to explain why the gangsters have little flags in front of them on the table or where all the toy cars that suddenly appear come from - or what they're for. 

Onn the other hand,  _Ninja Terminator_ does have a Ninja answering a Garfield telephone...


----------



## mr kite

manephelien said:


> Event Horizon. I'm surprised I watched it to the end.


 
I watched it when it came out . Did`nt like it one bit . 

Watched it the other week ( give it another go ) I fell asleep .


----------



## manephelien

Good to know I'm not the only one who can't stand Event Horizon.


----------



## Allegra

I can't stand the new *Anna Karenina* (2012). It looks a cheap Hollywood production in every way. The worst to be Keira Knightly, she is totally out of the character. The acting is generally terrible to watch and the adaptation for such an emotionally charged masterpiece turned out passionless and pathetic. Whata waste.


----------



## Tryfan1701

I am aware that i will probobly get stuff thrown at me for this one, but *Titanic* (1998)is a film that I wish to forget I ever saw. Overblown, Overhyped, and overlong. What was worse is that my girlfriend at the time loved it, and I had to sit through it several times at the cinema. Thankfully I had perfected the art of falling asleep by the time Kate Winslett tuned up on screen by the third viewing.


----------



## JunkMonkey

manephelien said:


> Good to know I'm not the only one who can't stand Event Horizon.



I will go one further I can't stand a single film (that I have seen) directed by Paul W. S. Anderson - with the possible exception of _Soldier. _ Frenetic sh** the lot of them.  

_Soldier_ only survives because of an amazing performance by Kurt Russell in which he does as near to nothing as he can for 90 minutes and makes it compelling.


----------



## Allegra

Tryfan1701 said:


> I am aware that i will probobly get stuff thrown at me for this one, but *Titanic* (1998)is a film that I wish to forget I ever saw. Overblown, Overhyped, and overlong. What was worse is that my girlfriend at the time loved it, and I had to sit through it several times at the cinema. Thankfully I had perfected the art of falling asleep by the time Kate Winslett tuned up on screen by the third viewing.


 
I didn't like it either and I hate the song!


----------



## Bick

Some peculiar choices here... how can critically-acclaimed award winning films also be the worst movie you've seen? For the record 'Lost in Translation' (an excellent film according to most critics) gets 95% on Rotten Tomatoes and won the Golden Globe for Best Picture in 2003.  Surely there are worse films?


----------



## Gordian Knot

Hmmm. That is a tough question actually. The most agonizing thing I ever sat through was a movie in the '90s called Michael. Starred Travolta as a crude, belching Archangel Michael. What us guys don't do for our girlfriends! lol.

The movie that pissed me off, though, was Mel Gibson's Payback. In the commercials leading up to the release it was billed as a comic guy against the mob film. In reality it was a sadistic, brutal movie. I really should'a asked for my money back for the deception!


----------



## JunkMonkey

Bick said:


> Some peculiar choices here... how can critically-acclaimed award winning films also be the worst movie you've seen?



My example of that would be Andrei Tarkovsky's _Stalker_.  Critics drool over it. I can't stand it.  It's a tediously boring, pointless, uninteresting and endlessly long wander about in some countryside looking at the backs of people's heads. I really can't start to understand why anyone likes it.

His _Solaris,_ on the other hand, I rate as one of my top ten SF films.


----------



## Gramm838

I wonder if I should get my retaliation in first...I'm going to see the new Star Trek movie on Friday but the trailers don't seem to make it look much like an ST movie (even though it's got space ships in it, I just worry that its just going to be an action movie with Star Trek connotation, but not actually be a Star trek movie).

I have to say I didn't think much of the first 'new' ST movie, it just seemed to focus on 'let's beat the crap out of Kirk' rather than anything else.

We'll see on Friday!


----------



## Gordian Knot

Hardly the worst movie, Gramm. lol. Though I am with you that this Star Trek is not your father's (or grandfather's depending on your age) Star Trek. So yes, it will be an action movie with a Star Trek connotation. Rather than rail about it, I've gone through the five stages to finish with acceptance that 21st century Star Trek will never be, and probably could never be, what made 20th century Star Trek something special......


----------



## Gramm838

Gordian Knot said:


> Though I am with you that this Star Trek is not your father's (or grandfather's depending on your age) ]
> 
> My star trek I'm afraid, I'm old enough to remember watching the pilot with the original Captain Pike of the Enterprise in his hi-tech invalid carriage...


----------



## JunkMonkey

Gramm838 said:


> ...the trailers don't seem to make it look much like an ST movie (even though it's got space ships in it,



OH, MY GOD!  They're not actually going to do something DIFFERENT in a _Star Trek_ film are they?

Cough! splutter!!


----------



## Gramm838

JunkMonkey said:


> OH, MY GOD!  They're not actually going to do something DIFFERENT in a _Star Trek_ film are they?
> 
> Cough! splutter!!



Exactly - that's the problem - it looks like it going to be the same as every other recent over the top action film, so to answer your question, no they're not doing anything different in an ST movie...

Check mate!


----------



## Ogma

The worst film that I can remember is Immortal (2004).  I felt that it was pretentious, boring and there were some elements around the god's pursuit of his mate which made me feel very queasy. Normally, I give away DVD's that I do not like, but I found this film so bad that I dumped the DVD in the bin rather than inflicting it on any of my friends.


----------



## PTeppic

Ninjas vs Vampires

It was like a film student's second year submission. The script was one-liners grabbed from other movies, the acting abysmal, camera work sloppy and effects uneven. Some of the fight choreography wasn't bad though.


----------



## Dream Walker

I have sat through some truly abysmal offerings. And the films mentioned never even hit the top twenty.  The worst of the worst?  Dead Zone,  Deep Impact. That horror to the senses that Patrick Stewart was in where he is an evil scientist and goes chasing the escaping kids through the sewer in go carts, but for no reason stops. Puts on some kind of football Jersey and gives the team cheer before proceeding to chase the kids...(perhaps it was in the evil scientist rulebook?). ; that piece of schlok  with Garry Shandling as an alien with a detachable Willie. And let us not forget Earth girls are easy, one of several efforts by Hollywood to produce sci-fi light.

But I must admit the Shandling effort  did produce one killer line - Shandling's Willie is getting a call from the mother ship. Girl hears, says 'what's that?' Gary replied, ' It's my----, it hums,' Girl rejoinders, ' why? Doesn't it know the words?'. Ba-dum-bump.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Gramm838 said:


> Check mate!



I concede.   (Though I now have _two_ reason not to go see it.)

Last night I scraped through the bottom of the barrel to find the slime underneath and managed to watch what is probably worst, least pleasant film I have seen for a long time: 

*Frauen für Zellenblock 9 *(aka _The Women in Cell Block 9_ & _Tropical Inferno_ 1978 )  - tatty, underachieving, nasty piece of sh*t Women in Prison film.   Even by prolific crap director Jess Franco's standards was a piece of sleazy unpleasant crap.  Four women get captured by sadistic jungle jailers tortured in non-specific ways:

"Do you know most of the men I have done this too are now homosexuals?"

In the end they escape by staging the dullest, least erotic lesbian orgy ever filmed then clobbering the guard. They  run  away, naked, through the South American jungle.  On their way they are menaced by a few very static shots of African crocodiles (shot in a zoo by the look of it) before being shot down by their pursuers.  The end.  

To add to the sleazy nastiness it turns out that one of the actresses running around naked for most of the film was only 16 at the time. The film was refused a DVD release in this country and I may have broken the law by watching it. Maybe I should look films up before I watch them.  Deeply unpleasant piece of crap.


----------



## Gramm838

JunkMonkey said:


> I concede.   (Though I now have _two_ reason not to go see it.)



Very gracious of you to concede, thank you.

Actually my entry for the real worst film ever has to be Bridget Jones' Diary; my friend and I made the mistake of offering our wives the chance to see something other than an action movie, not realising that it was the first night of the general release of BJD; and the cinema was full of 40-y.o. Bridget wannabees who found the whole thing hilarious..

I spent the whole time finding excuses to go the gent's toilets as often as I could


----------



## Parson

Gramm838 said:


> Gordian Knot said:
> 
> 
> 
> Though I am with you that this Star Trek is not your father's (or grandfather's depending on your age) ]
> 
> 
> 
> 
> My star trek I'm afraid, I'm old enough to remember watching the pilot with the original Captain Pike of the Enterprise in his hi-tech invalid carriage...
Click to expand...



Sigh! those were the days weren't they. Still I'm excited to see what might be made.


----------



## steve12553

Gramm838 said:


> Gordian Knot said:
> 
> 
> 
> Though I am with you that this Star Trek is not your father's (or grandfather's depending on your age) ]
> 
> My star trek I'm afraid, I'm old enough to remember watching the pilot with the original Captain Pike of the Enterprise in his hi-tech invalid carriage...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Watch it again. The original pilot Captain Pike was not an invalid. When the recut that episode into *t**he Menagerie* A different actor played Captain Pike in the present with the scarred face and the hi-tech invalid carriage. Jeffery Hunter played him in the flash back sections from *The Cage*.
Click to expand...


----------



## Gramm838

Gramm838 said:


> I wonder if I should get my retaliation in first...I'm going to see the new Star Trek movie on Friday but the trailers don't seem to make it look much like an ST movie (even though it's got space ships in it, I just worry that its just going to be an action movie with Star Trek connotation, but not actually be a Star trek movie).
> 
> I have to say I didn't think much of the first 'new' ST movie, it just seemed to focus on 'let's beat the crap out of Kirk' rather than anything else.
> 
> We'll see on Friday!



Well, I posted the above earlier this week, and I'm simply going to point out that I was wrong about ST:ItD...there's still too much of Kirk getting beaten up but other than that, it was pretty good.

I thought the best bit near the end was when Ki.....


----------



## paranoid marvin

Tbh if a film is REALLY bad I won't watch it through to the end. Been quite a few examples where it's quite clear after the first half hour (sometimes first 10 mins!) that a film is not going to get any better.


----------



## Mr Fraaz

I don't know if it is the worst movie I ever saw, but my worst subjective movie experience ever was probably Highlander or possibly Highlander II. When visiting the video store in our teens, me and some friends suddenly found a movie that noone had heard about but which looked really cool, and I guess we got totally worked up over it on the way home. But then we never even saw it through. It wasn't even "so bad it's funny", it was just really, really bad. To this day I can't stand Christopher Lambert.


----------



## zlogdan

I have not good memories of Lambert too, but it was because my mother made us watch greystoke several times, whenever someone was visitting us in the 80s. 

My most detestable film is "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", which has a positive side for me: it is a natural sleeping pill: my wife starts watching it and I follow her because of love, it won't take 2 minutes and I am sleeping like a baby.


----------



## JunkMonkey

manephelien said:


> Event Horizon. I'm surprised I watched it to the end.



To add to my comments about hating this film I just have to say I love the Soundtrack album of 'music from and inspired by Event Horizon'.  One of my most of played soundtrack albums - next to those by Morricone.


----------



## col

Superman IV: Quest For Peace.  I really can't think of anything as bad as this.


----------



## JunkMonkey

col said:


> Superman IV: Quest For Peace.  I really can't think of anything as bad as this.



After reading about it in last month's Empire I'm afraid it's right on top of my list.


----------



## Winni

Super Mario Bros the Movie....So very bad.


----------



## JunkMonkey

JunkMonkey said:


> After reading about it in last month's Empire I'm afraid it's right on top of my list.



Sorry, didn't make it plain.  I meant 'list of films I need to see'.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Dear GODS!  I win!  I win, I win, I win - I win!

I have just sat through _Richard Driscoll's Highway to Hell_ (2012) an amazingly dreadful Horror Comedy Musical ineptly edited down and redubbed from his earlier _Eldorado_. (So ineptly edited that in at least two of the many fades into, and then out from, black between scenes, the opening or closing frames of removed scenes are clearly visible before the incoming shot arrives on screen.)   I really _really_ suspect that this may be the worst film in the world.  I have seen many utterly ***** films over the years but if I say that this makes *Frankenstein General Hospital* (1988) look really good in comparison you may get some idea.  Hell, it makes Driscoll's own _Legend of Harrow Woods_ look good in comparison. And that's not a sentence I ever thought I would find myself typing.

I feel like I have just been forced to stick my head in a blender.  Dreadful.


----------



## Starbeast

Thanks for the warning JunkMonkey about _Highway to Hell_ (2012).


*El Topo* (1970), which I heard was a cult classic by Alejandro Jororowsky. I thought it was a sickening waste of time and severly damaging to the brain cells. In my opinion, it was the worst surreal western I've ever seen. Plus it had an equally bad sequel called *Holy Mountian* (1973), which I am fortunate enough not to see. However, I did finally watch it's disturbing trailer.

What I recently discovered was that Alejandro wanted to direct DUNE in 1975! I'm so glad he didn't.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Starbeast said:


> Thanks for the warning JunkMonkey about _Highway to Hell_ (2012).
> 
> 
> *El Topo* (1970), which I heard was a cult classic by Alejandro Jororowsky. I thought it was a sickening waste of time and severly damaging to the brain cells. In my opinion, it was the worst surreal western I've ever seen. Plus it had an equally bad sequel called *Holy Mountian* (1973), which I am fortunate enough not to see. However, I did finally watch it's disturbing trailer.
> 
> What I recently discovered was that Alejandro wanted to direct DUNE in 1975! I'm so glad he didn't.



You're welcome, Starbeast, and you're not the only one who thought_ El Topo _was a steaming pile of (insert least favourite messy substance here).  



			
				JunkMonkey's Film Diary said:
			
		

> *El Topo *(1970) - one of those films that has been on the edge of  my must see radar for years.  A heavily religious surreal (very bloody)  Tortilla Western made at the hight of the hippy era.  It opens with a  lone horseman holding an umbrella riding through a desert.  Only when  the horseman stops and dismounts do we realise he has a naked 7 year old  boy riding with him.  The black leather-clad rider makes the boy bury a  teddy bear and a photo of his mother, then they both climb back on the  horse and ride off.
> 
> After that it gets weird.
> 
> And then weirder.  At the  end, our 'hero', having been shot by his lesbian companions and  spending untold years in a catatonic state being worshipped as a god in a  cave, digs a tunnel to free his deformed worshippers.  When he finally  succeeds, with the help of his pregnant dwarf wife and his now grown up  ex-monk son (who has sworn to kill him when they've finished), all the  newly-released troglodytes are massacred by the townsfolk who are then,  in turn, massacred by our hero.  Who then commits suicide by setting  himself on fire.  I'm sure it was all very  pertinent at the time and obviously allegorical of the horrors of  Vietnam but all these years later it left me pretty unimpressed as a  film.



A real Emperor's Trousers of a movie.


----------



## Krayhayft

Anything directed by Tim Burton or anything written by Orci and Kurtzman.

The three biggest hacks in Hollywood.


----------



## Starbeast

*Last of the Living* (2009)

I like zombie movies, and I'll even give low budget horror film a chance because some are surprisingly good. But, this film was just plain awful. I kept hoping it would get better, but was boring and very badly wriiten. It wasn't even interesting, accidently.


----------



## subtletylost

My mom says the worst movie she's ever seen was *Tess* (1979) A young strong-willed peasant girl, becomes the affection of two men, in the end tragically falling into the arms of one.

She said the spent the whole movie doing pretty much nothing.


----------



## danielgould

Skyline is the worst film I have ever seen at the cinema. I don't know how it managed to be released.


----------



## Victoria Silverwolf

Krayhayft said:


> Anything directed by Tim Burton or anything written by Orci and Kurtzman.
> 
> The three biggest hacks in Hollywood.


 
Just to show how tastes differ, I have more or less enjoyed the few Tim Burton films I have seen.  I was greatly amused by *Pee Wee's Big Adventure*, I thought *Charlie and the Chocolate Factory* was interesting, and I loved *Ed Wood*.



fishii said:


> My mom says the worst movie she's ever seen was *Tess* (1979) A young strong-willed peasant girl, becomes the affection of two men, in the end tragically falling into the arms of one.
> 
> She said the spent the whole movie doing pretty much nothing.


 
Again, a matter of taste.  I think *Tess* is a beautiful film and a fine adaptation of Hardy's novel _Tess of the D'Ubervilles_.


----------



## Bick

fishii said:


> My mom says the worst movie she's ever seen was *Tess* (1979) A young strong-willed peasant girl, becomes the affection of two men, in the end tragically falling into the arms of one.
> 
> She said the spent the whole movie doing pretty much nothing.


This is the Roman Polanski classic.  As it happens, I saw it a couple of months ago.  It is very slowly paced, I'll admit.  Natashi Kinski's big break - she's quite good in it.  Its worthy, but not dreadful; the cinematography is superb.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Bick said:


> the cinematography is superb.



With Geoffrey Unsworth behind the camera could it have been anything but?


----------



## MPorter

As Victoria points out bad is a matter of taste. I think Catwoman (2004) and Highlander 2 (1991) are truly bad movies with little in redeeming features.

The Pirate Movie (1982) is probably a better movie than either of those two but for whatever reason it definitely sets my teeth on edge and has pride of place on my list. My idea of Hell is being stuck in a room and forced to watch the Pirate Movie over and over and over again.

~Mike


----------



## soulsinging

The Skulls. Granted, my buddy and I had partaken of some particularly potent herbs that night, but it was a laughably awful attempt at a college flick centered around a secret society. Though in the wake of the Da Vinci Code and a general interest in secret societies, I'm sure many find it fascinating.

Also, She's All That. One of the only movies I ever walked out on in theaters.


----------



## Boneman

I found it! Ignore anything I've said before - this is by far and away the worst movie ever: 

STELLA, with Bett Midler - how the hell she ever got talked into doing this is beyond me... Here's a brief 'synopsis' of the film. The wonderful sounding premise of 'class divisions love and sacrifice' are truly awful in this film. Bette Midler in the film is one step above trailer-trash, I should add, because that's very relevant, apparently.



> A man sees her (Bette Midler) dance at the bar. He's wealthy, educated, from one of those upper class families that has nothing in common with Stella's. His major concern is what ivy league college to attend, her's is how to pay the rent, how to be 'happy.' They have an affair. They like each other. Stella ends up pregnant. Stella tells the guy the news. His response? "How about an abortion?" She replies, "I just wanted a room full of balloons." He supplies the balloons, and the proposal, but she sees his heart is not in it, and has too much pride to accept. She sends him packing.
> 
> Her daughter is eventually torn between the two lifestyles--the love she has for her mom and the advantages and happiness and love held out to her by her wealthy father.(WTF????) Stella, alone and unloved, and not wanting her daughter to become as unhappy as her someday, makes the ultimate sacrifice. She gives up the only love and happiness she has ever known to ensure the happiness of her daughter, and perhaps live vicariously, and with hope, knowing that at least her daughter found something to live for.


 
The ultimate sacrifice???? Any idea how f***ed up the kid will become, because her mother didn't want her?? Gave her up because the father had more money than her??? But at least her daughter 'found something to live for'...

Honestly, trust me on this, it's worth watching for it's complete awfulness - it will knock any other film into a cocked hat, especially the last scene.


----------



## Parson

Boneman said:


> I found it! Ignore anything I've said before - this is by far and away the worst movie ever:
> 
> STELLA, with Bett Midler - how the hell she ever got talked into doing this is beyond me... Here's a brief 'synopsis' of the film. The wonderful sounding premise of 'class divisions love and sacrifice' are truly awful in this film. Bette Midler in the film is one step above trailer-trash, I should add, because that's very relevant, apparently.
> 
> 
> 
> The ultimate sacrifice???? Any idea how f***ed up the kid will become, because her mother didn't want her?? Gave her up because the father had more money than her??? But at least her daughter 'found something to live for'...
> 
> Honestly, trust me on this, it's worth watching for it's complete awfulness - it will knock any other film into a cocked hat, especially the last scene.



Boneman, this is not a surprise. For much of this world wealth and opportunity are the only things to live for. The daughter chooses the way of the world, the mother in her sacrifice (something I always find noble) agrees with the assessment. -- A rich life beats a life of being loved.

(Not a Christian viewpoint in this Parson's opinion.)


----------



## JunkMonkey

Boneman said:


> I found it! Ignore anything I've said before - this is by far and away the worst movie ever:
> 
> STELLA, with Bett Midler -
> 
> <snip>
> 
> Honestly, trust me on this, it's worth watching for it's complete awfulness - it will knock any other film into a cocked hat, especially the last scene.




I remember the original (Stella Dallas 1937 starring the incomparable Barbara Stanwyck) with great fondness; a real three hankie 'women's movie' which did the job and reduced me to a snivelling wreck the first time I saw it.  I have avoided the remake for years.


----------



## purple_kathryn

I watched a movie called the The Pact a few months ago which was rather frustrating movie as it never really explained a lot of things

Like why it was called The Pact as there was absolutely nothing relating the anything pact like was mentioned in the film.

I'm now watching the remake of Red Dawn - primarily because Chris Hemsworth is in it, but about 40 minutes in and it's about as bad as I thought it would be.


----------



## Starbeast

*The Tooth Fairy* (2010)

Action hero Dwayne Johnson, becomes a magical fairy. A few years ago I rented this movie for my mom who wanted to see it, and she wanted me to watch it with her. I like Mr Johnson in a couple of movies, but this one...made me puke my guts out. My gosh it was awful. I have one word that would sum up this film.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGHHH!"

I can't believe I made it through the entire film! 

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGHhhhh!" (cough cough)


----------



## sooC

I've watched a lot of cack, but rarely all the way to the end. For that reason I nominate Streetfighter 1994, it holds the honour of first film I wish I had walked out on.


----------



## purple_kathryn

and Red Dawn didn't get any better. If anything it came across as being an allegory (is that the right word) against the war in Iraq


----------



## biodroid

Twilight, and I treat the whole series as one big movie, the biggest load of cow pat my wife ever dragged me to watch.


----------



## Mouse

*Skyline*. Even mum's declaration at the end of the film (credits rolling as I type) was 'There. Bloody old crap.' Sums it up, I think.


----------



## Mariella

*Re: Worst film seen...*



heron said:


> i sat through ultraviolet the othe day, avoid at all costs do not go near it. it will sully your soul and damage your brain, during the quiet bits i could actually hear my brain cells melting. i could just imagine the producers siting around
> "we've got milla jovovich"
> "check"
> we've got tight clothes and big guns"
> "check"
> "fire the writers"
> "check"
> 
> please avoid at all costs it may not be the worst ever but its certainly close.



the movie had some decent concepts like disposable cell phones and those soldiers that morph out of the air launched spheres and it was visually well produced for the most part, but AGREED, there was no script.  It was like a really long music video, all visual, no substance.  And definitely should be avoided at all costs.


----------



## Earthling

I despised* Die Another Day*... I actually felt angry at Pierce Bronson after that film... you know what.. I think I still do lol


----------



## thaddeus6th

Die Another Day probably isn't the worst film I've seen, but it's pretty poor. Goldeneye's miles better.


----------



## EricWard

My friend made me suffer through *Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day* a few months ago. I knew it was going to suck (so did he) but maaaaaaaaaaaaan, that sucked. Even with several drinks in me and sitting in my own house, I wanted to leave. It is offensively stupid.

I will say that for how "macho" it's supposed to be, I got a few laughs out of how unintentionally homoerotic most of it was.


----------



## Alex The G and T

On a side note....  There would be some fun if EricWard joined the "Quote the Avatar above you" thread.   Heheeheheeh

(I haven't actually seen a terrible movie, recently.  Carry on.)


----------



## Teresa Edgerton

Possibly *Planet of Blood*, if only for the line "Hemophiliac!  She must be some kind of royalty on her planet."


----------



## quantumtheif

Spawn :_(.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Teresa Edgerton said:


> Possibly *Planet of Blood*, if only for the line "Hemophiliac!  She must be some kind of royalty on her planet."



Oh come on!  Admittedly that line was a low point but _Planet of Blood_ (aka _Queen of Blood_) does have some moments of genuine groovy creepiness - admittedly some of them were taken from larger budgetted Russian SF films but there are far worse films.


----------



## mr kite

Stand Up Guys .

A film that makes you squirm it is that bad . 
I did`nt get very far into it but the lowest point of the film (?) was when Pacino chats up a young girl in a bar and he gets to dance with him .
You just gotta watch it to see how sick bucket moment in Pacino`s career it is .


----------



## Gnrevolution

Two words.

Surf.

Nazis.

By far the worst film I have ever endured.  And I've seen Legally Blonde.

Don't get me wrong I have a bit of a soft spot for troma films, but this one was so wide of the mark it missed the entire galactic arm in which we live.


----------



## JunkMonkey

I've had STDs that were funnier and more interesting than most Troma films I've seen.


----------



## Gnrevolution

JunkMonkey said:


> I've had STDs that were funnier and more interesting than most Troma films I've seen.



Then even by Troma standards you could understand how bad this film was!


----------



## finbaa

I think Batman and Robin is quite incredible in how bad it is: but then its so bad that I started to like it again.

Anything I've seen by Peter Greenaway I felt was terrible... 8 and a half woman for example.. i thought it was incredibly boring and pretentious.

Human centipede 2 was one of the most objectionable movies i've ever seen. And this is from someone who quite like the first one....


----------



## Rodders

I watched 2012 yesterday and found it to be laughably bad.


----------



## Rafellin

The two most disappointing films I have seen of late are Django Unchained and The Lone Ranger.

Both had valid premises, both got lost in confusion and pretentiousness.

Then both had the gall to think themselves capable, let alone worthy, of nearly two and a half hours apiece.


----------



## paranoid marvin

I think Carry On Columbus is definately up (or should that be down?) there. Considering how good the originals were, this film manages to be completely unfunny; quite an achievement for a comedy.


----------



## Aurora Skye

The last Die Hard movie, sooooooo disappointing


----------



## Braveface

The Cat in the Hat starring Mike Myers


----------



## purple_kathryn

Watched a couple of movies that I thought should be guilty pleasures (I'm not a demanding film watcher)

The Host and Oz the Great and Powerful.

Both were just.....not good and they actively irritated me.  A lot of time I'll admit that a film probably wasn't good but I still enjoyed it - not this time.


Spoilers for the Host if you want to scroll past

The whole talking to yourself in your head didn't really work in the Host. and the aliens didn't make any sense.  They were vastly superior and peaceful but had no problem essentially murdering millions because they thought they were inferior.  Apart from this one who was 1000 years old, who falls for someone in their 20s.  The Melanie character was just annoying.





I loved the set design etc in Oz but it just seemed to be a whole lot of style over substance.  I haven't read/seen Wicked, but I imagine Oz as being "you know what Wicked needs? A male lead".  It really just did not seem to work.


OTOH I did enjoy Olympus has fallen (although it's basically Die Hard in the White House) and I didn't expect to.


----------



## Gramm838

I've not read all the pages in the thread so it may have been mentioned already (it should have been, anyway) - but having endured a long train journey today I watched Total Recall 2012, for the second time, and I'm now going to delete it from my tablet so I don't make the same mistake again.

The film has as many plot holes in as there could be, and as for Colin Farrell, well, sorry but he's not for me.

The biggest plot hole of course is actually the hole running through the earth's core; I mean, come on, who pitched that idea and had it accepted? Whoever did so should be employed selling snow to Eskimo's!


----------



## junkodudeturkey835

I have seen so many awful movies, most of which you guys have probably never seen.

The worst obscure movie i have seen has to be...god there are so many. Manos the hands of fate, Feeders, Copper Mountain (with Jim Carrey).

For mainstream, almost every movie released nowadays. For one that's unbearably awful though, Disaster Movie. One that pissed me off recently, Man of Steel.

I swear to god i hate that movie with such a passion, such a soulless and miserable waste that i hope gets forgotten within the next few years.


----------



## AE35Unit

Well I watched a horror the other night and it was a horror in both meanings of the word!
It was *Apartment 1303* and had some of the worst acting Ive ever seen! And talk about bad editing!

Just awful!
Far better is another movie with the same name but a different number.


----------



## Ivanya

For me, I'd have to say Highlander 2: The Quickening. The effects were laughable, and I only kept watching for Sean Connery... huge letdown when he lasted all of five minutes.

The Spice Girls movie, Wild Wild West, Lost in Space and Batman and Robin. All utterly cringe-worthy.


----------



## SevenStars

A tie between Battlefield Earth and Spiceworld....Both dire


----------



## soulsinging

RyanJ1996 said:


> One that pissed me off recently, Man of Steel.
> 
> I swear to god i hate that movie with such a passion, such a soulless and miserable waste that i hope gets forgotten within the next few years.



My reaction wasn't quite as strong, but this movie WAS a huge disappointment. Yes, it was cool to see Zod and Superman and a real knockdown superhero brawl, but the script and the secondary characters were so half-assed that anything in between the action felt like total filler. I've played video games with more depth (Uncharted, for one).


----------



## Beaviz81

Maybe not worst but most overrated was The Murder of Jesse James by the coward Bob Ford.  It was dreadfully slow, the acting was sort of wooden, I didn't like that they dragged everything out and then critics gave it dice-throws five and six which really rankled me.


----------



## Ice fyre

The Guru with mike Mires, just remmbered it, a friend said ooooh this is a really funny film, totally hilarious. I laughed...three times in about an hour and a half of boredom and mind numbing banality. Jokes done funnier by many other comedians, purile and dull. Lots fo fart jokes as well, which, qute frankly, are hilarious when your five but not anytime after that! 

Gah! not a film I will ever watch again!


----------



## JunkMonkey

Ice fyre said:


> The Guru with mike Mires, just remmbered it, a friend said ooooh this is a really funny film, totally hilarious. I laughed...three times in about an hour and a half of boredom and mind numbing banality. Jokes done funnier by many other comedians, purile and dull. Lots fo fart jokes as well, which, qute frankly, are hilarious when your five but not anytime after that!
> 
> Gah! not a film I will ever watch again!




Fart jokes ARE funny no matter what age you are.  Go watch the vastly underrated British film _Thunderpants_ for proof.  It's Mike Myres that isn't funny after the first three minutes.

Today, while sorting out a pile of crap I couldn't be bothered to sell on eBay, I came across another contender for the crappest film I managed to get to the end of: _Zombie Strippers.
_
Plastic tits aren't funny either.


----------



## Ice fyre

You could be right about that JunkMonkey. Might check out Thunderpants sounds quite fun!


----------



## BenSt

There have been some truly god aweful ones, but what comes to mind right now is Twister.  What a truly **** movie... the plot was bad, the lines were bad... looking back on it now I wonder what the actors really had to work with.


----------



## FireDragon-16

I recently saw this movie *Ninja's Creed*. WORST movie EVER!!!!! SOOO glad I didn't spend money on it.

I'm seriously not even joking! The acting sucked, the dialogue wasn't much better and the sound was just off. Whenever someone was running, you could always hear the grass crunching under their feet and it was really CRUNCHing.

I will admit that the overall idea was intriguing which is why I picked it up. But I think the only reason why I even finished it was because it was like a train wreck--you know that you shouldn't look but you can't help yourself.


----------



## AE35Unit

BenSt said:


> There have been some truly god aweful ones, but what comes to mind right now is Twister.  What a truly **** movie... the plot was bad, the lines were bad... looking back on it now I wonder what the actors really had to work with.


Aww you're kidding!  Thats an epicly fun movie!
There's a cow. There's another one!
'No I think its the same one!'

Class!


----------



## BenSt

Well, it's better than Twilight, I'll grant you that.  Although I can't think whats worse... Helen Hunt trying to act intense, or Bella Swan being intense.


----------



## Colbey Frost

The Spirit was the first film that ever made me want to leave the cinema early. I was falling asleep.


----------



## JunkMonkey

If falling asleep was the only criterion for bad movieness then _Star Wars _(ep.4) is the worst movie ever made.  I have fallen asleep during that one several times.  Twice in the cinema.


----------



## Allegra

*Grand Piano* (2013). I did not finish it, could not finish it. It is ridiculously ludicrously rubbishy. For someone who is passionate about classical music, I felt utterly disgusted.


----------



## Ulrich

"Perry Rhodan - SOS aus dem Weltall" (1967, other title is "4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... morte") is surely one of the worst science fiction movies, while the novels are a huge success in Germany. Even Karl-Herbert Scheer, creator of the long running book series "Perry Rhodan", didn't like the movie.


----------



## psychotick

Hi,

Actually yeah that Perry Rhodan movie is bad - less than B grade. I just got it as part of a boxed set of sci fi movies. The acting's flat, the lines are delivered as if the actors don't know what they're talking about, the effects (definately not special) are aweful and even the plot has holes - which I don't remember from the first book of the series which is sitting on my shelves. But part of what makes it bad is that it's so dated.

Cheers, Greg.


----------



## Nick B

Possibly Death Proof, though there are many many terrible movies out there to be sure.


----------



## JunkMonkey

psychotick said:


> Actually yeah that Perry Rhodan movie is bad - less than B grade. I just got it as part of a boxed set of sci fi movies. The acting's flat, the lines are delivered as if the actors don't know what they're talking about, the effects (definately not special) are aweful



I particularly enjoyed the moment when the light from the rocket's engine cast a shadow of the surrounding lunarcape on the cyclorama.

The opening credits are pretty funky though.

Perry Rhodan - Mission Stardust Part 1 - film 1967 - YouTube


----------



## TimeTravel_0

The Room


----------



## Dave

Mouse said:


> *Skyline*. Even mum's declaration at the end of the film (credits rolling as I type) was 'There. Bloody old crap.' Sums it up, I think.


I've watched twenty minutes of it and I'm giving up now. I wish i'd read your post first but Netflix "recommended" it to me.


----------



## Compcat

I don't know about "worst" in the sense of least entertainment value, but Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland elicits more hate from me than any other film.  It completely missed the point and just turned it into another "epic" Hollywood cgi fest, and now that garbage is what's going to come to mind for a lot of people whenever the story is brought up.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Compcat said:


> I don't know about "worst" in the sense of least entertainment value, but Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland elicits more hate from me than any other film.  It completely missed the point and just turned it into another "epic" Hollywood cgi fest, and now that garbage is what's going to come to mind for a lot of people whenever the story is brought up.



 Agreed but only for a few years.  I used to hate the Disney animated version for pretty much the same reason but then realised the books will long outlive any crappy 'adaptation' hung off them.


----------



## Alysheba

Alice In Wonderland was very disappointing. I appreciate Tim Burton's work but this in my opinion was not his best.


----------



## soulsinging

Compcat said:


> I don't know about "worst" in the sense of least entertainment value, but Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland elicits more hate from me than any other film.  It completely missed the point and just turned it into another "epic" Hollywood cgi fest, and now that garbage is what's going to come to mind for a lot of people whenever the story is brought up.



Felt the same about his Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I'm very over Tim Burton.


----------



## Overread

I didn't like his Charlie and the Chocolate factory but I didn't mind the Alice in Wonderland. That said I think Tim does best when he's more doing his own thing.


----------



## Alysheba

I agree. Though I did like Sweeney Todd.


----------



## BAYLOR

Alysheba said:


> Alice In Wonderland was very disappointing. I appreciate Tim Burton's work but this in my opinion was not his best.



I think it's one of his best films. I love his take on the story.


----------



## HanaBi

*The Phantom Menace* & Jar Jar Binks

I really cannot say any more without stabbing hot needles in my eyes for the distraction


----------



## JunkMonkey

HanaBi said:


> *The Phantom Menace* & Jar Jar Binks
> 
> I really cannot say any more without stabbing hot needles in my eyes for the distraction



Then you really haven't watched enough movies. _The Phantom Menace _was a major disappointment and had some embarrassing, misjudged moments but stand it alongside something like:_ Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft, Ator the Invincible,_ or_ Lesbian Vampire Killers_ - or anything directed by Jess Franco - and it looks like a masterpiece.  At least_ The Phantom Mess_ was in focus and you knew who the characters were (and what they were supposed to be doing) even if you didn't like them much.


----------



## DinoNurse

Took my niece to see Frozen (the disney flick not the horror) now that's two hours of my life that I won't get back. Come to think of it the horror one about the stupid teens stuck on a chair lift wasn't much better! Do I really believe that none of them had a mobile phone??? They deserved to be eaten...


----------



## BAYLOR

HanaBi said:


> *The Phantom Menace* & Jar Jar Binks
> 
> I really cannot say any more without stabbing hot needles in my eyes for the distraction



I agree 100 percent Jar Jar is one of the most vile characters in movie history.


----------



## stirdgit

Star Quest: The Odyssey.

If you haven't tried to endure this catastrophe, you must.  Honestly, a group of children with an iPhone could've done a more professional job.  It's that bad.    
I will tell you this much, for about 20 minutes or so, you'll laugh harder than you have in quite a while.


----------



## JunkMonkey

stirdgit said:


> I will tell you this much, for about 20 minutes or so, you'll laugh harder than you have in quite a while.



... and then?


----------



## HanaBi

*Battlefield Earth (2000)
*
Often quoted in many "worst ever..." movie polls, and I would concur completely!

All I have to say, is what were John Travolta & Forest Whittaker, thinking when they signed up to appear in this crapfest to beat all crapfests.


----------



## BAYLOR

HanaBi said:


> *Battlefield Earth (2000)
> *
> Often quoted in many "worst ever..." movie polls, and I would concur completely!
> 
> All I have to say, is what were John Travolta & Forest Whittaker, thinking when they signed up to appear in this crapfest to beat all crapfests.



They made a prequel?


----------



## stirdgit

JunkMonkey,

After the first 20 minutes, you might seethe with rage over having wasted whatever additional amount of time you have endured.  The humor wears off quickly.  At about 30 minutes, I had to turn it off.  I couldn't take any more.


----------



## Fueggo

Probably the It's Alive remake. All the characters were irritating, the plot did not really make much sense to me. The mother was all  dotty and didn't seem to mind all the corpses in the house... Didn't scare me, didn't amuse me. 

Didn't enjoy it.


----------



## BAYLOR

Fueggo said:


> Probably the It's Alive remake. All the characters were irritating, the plot did not really make much sense to me. The mother was all  dotty and didn't seem to mind all the corpses in the house... Didn't scare me, didn't amuse me.
> 
> Didn't enjoy it.



They actually remade that one?


----------



## Fueggo

Yeah, luckily I payed no money for it as it was on TV, if I payed money for it I think I would be bald now.


----------



## JunkMonkey

HanaBi said:


> *Battlefield Earth (2000)
> *
> Often quoted in many "worst ever..." movie polls, and I would concur completely!
> 
> All I have to say, is what were John Travolta & Forest Whittaker, thinking when they signed up to appear in this crapfest to beat all crapfests.




"This will make a lot more people take Scientology seriously and help spread the word and make the church a lot of money..."  That's what they were probably thinking.  

The book is even funnier. Well the first chunk is:

http://palimpsest.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=4273&page=3


----------



## willwallace

I don't think anyone has mentioned The Ruins.  God, what a terrible movie.  I was watching it one night on HBO, waiting for it to get interesting, and too tired(read lazy) to change the channel.  I finally turned it off with about ten minutes left to go, I couldn't stand it any longer.  Killer vines, so stupid, and so poorly written/acted/directed/filmed/etc, etc, etc.


----------



## BAYLOR

JunkMonkey said:


> "This will make a lot more people take Scientology seriously and help spread the word and make the church a lot of money..."  That's what they were probably thinking.
> 
> The book is even funnier. Well the first chunk is:
> 
> http://palimpsest.org.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=4273&page=3



Battlefield Earth the film is godawful ,  but I did enjoy the book.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Do we have a worst books we have ever read thread here? because _BE _(the book) would be on my list - except I didn't finish it, and it was so stupidly bad it was funny (and therefore enjoyable) so rules itself out.


----------



## kythe

Maybe not the worst movie ever, but I just rewatched Independence Day and noticed for the first time how bad it truly is.

I saw Independence Day once when it first came out, and I remember it having great action scenes and scary aliens.  Now I see cheesy special effects, poor acting, uninteresting characters, and a terrible plot (seriously, aliens don't have anti-viral technology?).

The beginning mentioned aliens hijacking a system of Earth satellites because of their strategic location for communication, which reminded me of Arthur C. Clarke.  The appearance of 10 huge and impenetrable space ships over major Earth cities is also reminiscent of Childhood's End, but that is where any similarities to a quality story end.


----------



## BAYLOR

kythe said:


> Maybe not the worst movie ever, but I just rewatched Independence Day and noticed for the first time how bad it truly is.
> 
> I saw Independence Day once when it first came out, and I remember it having great action scenes and scary aliens.  Now I see cheesy special effects, poor acting, uninteresting characters, and a terrible plot (seriously, aliens don't have anti-viral technology?).
> 
> The beginning mentioned aliens hijacking a system of Earth satellites because of their strategic location for communication, which reminded me of Arthur C. Clarke.  The appearance of 10 huge and impenetrable space ships over major Earth cities is also reminiscent of Childhood's End, but that is where any similarities to a quality story end.




The biggest problem , downloading a virus into the A]alien mothership computers to disable the shields  on all their ships using an earth based computer. Not even remotely possible because very obvious hardware and software incompatibility.


----------



## BAYLOR

*Congo *


----------



## Abigail Dunard

_Australia _with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. After nearly three hours of movie, Hugh Jackman's character still doesn't have a name. He's only known as "Drover" which is his occupation. Maybe I missed some deeper meaning behind that decision, but I doubt it.


----------



## Droflet

Abigail Dunard said:


> _Australia _with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. After nearly three hours of movie, Hugh Jackman's character still doesn't have a name. He's only known as "Drover" which is his occupation. Maybe I missed some deeper meaning behind that decision, but I doubt it.


Yes, truly awful.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Abigail Dunard said:


> _Australia _with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman. After nearly three hours of movie, Hugh Jackman's character still doesn't have a name. He's only known as "Drover" which is his occupation. Maybe I missed some deeper meaning behind that decision, but I doubt it.



Trying to work out how anything with serious man crumpet  Hugh Jackman in it would not be worth watching (while noting that there appears to be a large hole in my memory where _Van Helsing_ is concerned).


----------



## bedlamite

Oh, just about anything on the Syfy channel.....

Also, the other day watched an absolute stinker called Shame The Devil. Shame on me for watching it all. Twice, as I couldn't believe it was ever released. Sample dialogue: 'don't do this baby, my main concern is you and our unborn child'. Who calls their unborn child 'our unborn child' in conversation with their wife?

And Transformers. 2 and a bit hours of my life I will never get back. Said that leaving the cinema and got rounded on by some fanboys. Water. Duck. Back.


----------



## Starbeast

*Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon* (2011)

I thought the first two were just awful (and the series couldn't get any worse), but I was dragged into the theater by super fan (who payed for my ticket). I gave it a chance, _because the trailer didn't look bad_.

It wasn't long before I melted into my seat, and wished every character in the movie died a horrible death. All of the characters were completely unlikable and every bit of dialogue was sickening to listen to. I am scarred for life because I sat through the whole damned thing.


----------



## Remedy

Starbeast said:


> *Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon* (2011)
> 
> I thought the first two were just awful (and the series couldn't get any worse), but I was dragged into the theater by super fan (who payed for my ticket). I gave it a chance, _because the trailer didn't look bad_.
> 
> It wasn't long before I melted into my seat, and wished every character in the movie died a horrible death. All of the characters were completely unlikable and every bit of dialogue was sickening to listen to. I am scarred for life because I sat through the whole damned thing.



If you hated that one, never attempt to watch *Transformers (4): Age of Extinction *- (newest one with Mark Wahlberg)

Utter mind-numbing boredom...

Mark Wahlberg was also in *Max Payne* which I think is the worst movie ever made. I actually left the cinema angry at how bad it was and furious at the poor adaptation of the superb game it's based on.

Strangely enough, Mark Wahlberg is in two other films that I really like: *The Other Guys *& *2 Guns *(both fun, easy-going action movies)


----------



## Starbeast

Remedy said:


> If you hated that one, never attempt to watch *Transformers (4): Age of Extinction *- (newest one with Mark Wahlberg)
> 
> Utter mind-numbing boredom...


 
You don't have to warn me, my friend. *I'll never, ever, watch any of the live action movies* (unless I'm paid big bucks).

I didn't want to see the first two (trailers looked terrible to me), but I was with company, and the kids wanted to watch them. I was real quiet (moaning like a tortured zombie on the inside). But that third one, that freaking third one, put me over the edge.


----------



## Vaz

*The Arrival of Wang.
*
Awful movie I stayed up late to watch on Film4 one night because the trailer looked interesting.

I now know better than to watch Film4.


----------



## mosaix

Watched *Sharknado* with my daughter on Friday evening. It really is the worst film I've ever seen.

Several tornadoes of the coast of California pick up sharks (thousands of them) from the Pacific and dump them on land - where they cause havoc, attacking from swimming pools, rivers, streams and drains. I say 'from' because they leap onto passing pedestrians,  onto passing cars and buses and into buildings through windows. They even strike at a helicopter from a tornado. Strangely they seem to bounce as if made of rubber - can't understand why! 

Poor plot, poor acting, poor special effects, poor stunts, poor science.


----------



## Vaz

I have seen this, on 4music when they have a terrible movie night. 

Yes it is truly awful.


----------



## hardsciencefanagain

I saw a teensy weensy fragment of one of the infamous American Pie Movies/franchise/whatever
This itsybitsy fragment was so bad....
undescribable


----------



## Michael Coorlim

When I was a teen I bought tickets for a Warner Brothers classics film festival. 30 films over the summer for $60. Great movies like Batman and Dog Day Afternoon. Good stuff.

The worst? The only one I walked out on? Chariots of Fire.

Hated it.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Michael Coorlim said:


> The worst? The only one I walked out on? Chariots of Fire.
> 
> Hated it.




I am not alone!  I walked out on that too when it first came out


----------



## hardsciencefanagain

I remember a Batman stinker with Val Kilmer that set my teeth on edge


----------



## thaddeus6th

Not as bad as Batman and Robin (George Clooney was Batman in that). It had all the cheesiness of the original series, and none of the charm.


----------



## Michael Coorlim

Yeah, the Batman movies descent was depressing, considering that Warner Brothers basically asked Tim Burton to step down from directing after Batman Returns, in favor of a more "family friendly" direction in the hopes it would become more profitable.

Michael Keaton left after Burton was replaced by Schumacher, and Val Kilmer took the role without even reading the script or finding out who the director was. After Keaton left, they decided that Rene Russo (41) was too old to play Kilmer's (36) love interest and replaced her with Nicole Kidman (28).

Further, while Marlon Wayans had been cast for the role of Robin for scenes cut from _Batman Forever_, they decided to replace him with a white actor while casting _Batman Returns_. Leonardo DiCaprio was being considered for the part, but declined after meeting with Schumacher, and they cast Chris O'Donnel instead.

More fun facts:

Schumacher said of working with Tommy Lee Jones: ""Jim Carrey was a gentleman, and Tommy Lee was threatened by him. I'm tired of defending overpaid, overprivileged actors. I pray I don't work with them again."

Jim Carrey reported that Jones told him on-set: "I hate you. I really don't like you ... I cannot sanction your buffoonery."

Val Kilmer stopped talking to Schumacher for two weeks during production after the director told him to stop being so rude to the crew. Schumacher later described Kilmer as "childish and impossible."

Really, the story of how Batmen went from _Forever_ to _Returns_ is one of my favorite production stories, even if it ended up ruining the franchise. Just such a great insight into what studio interference can do.


----------



## BAYLOR

I never cared for any of the Joel Schumacher batman films.


----------



## J Riff

Not to confuse deliberate cheese (_Sharknado _et al.) with BAD movies. It's not really fair if you haven't seen the 50s stuff... I mean they were genuinely cheapcheapcheap. Again - Tor Johnson was paid 300$ to STAR in_ Beast of Yucca Flats._
 Most new movies are bad because the industry has gone sour, just like th' music biz. I expect lousy, even if the flik is made from a good series or book
(Evil Dead, Judge Dredd) they manage to wreck it, sometimes deliberately so people will keep watching and buying the superhero Marvel/DC comicbook stuff. Hard to believe that adults now discuss Duperman, Batguy and Spiderteen as if it's some kind of adult entertainment. The dumbDown musta worked, mindcontrol as well, really, aiiiie , argh, call in the Revengers, ZloNk! Biff! 
 BAD movies aren't ones you walked out on or didn't like - they are BAD, and this can be demonstrated by attempting to describe or review them.
_Zardoz_ was picked at in here lately.... well, it is a _terrific _movie compared to the stuff out there. So is_ Sharknado_.
 Maybe you guys aren't trying hard enough. Go watch _Troll2 _a few times.... dig into the trash pile a little deeper to find the BAD stuff.... so BAD that 'tis good fun. That's what bad means, not awful, like most new stuff - cheap n cheesy and stupid, but fun. Conclude rant.


----------



## JunkMonkey

J Riff said:


> _Zardoz_ was picked at in here lately.... well, it is a _terrific _movie compared to the stuff out there. So is_ Sharknado_.
> Maybe you guys aren't trying hard enough. Go watch _Troll2 _a few times.... dig into the trash pile a little deeper to find the BAD stuff.... so BAD that 'tis good fun. That's what bad means, not awful, like most new stuff - cheap n cheesy and stupid, but fun. Conclude rant.




I agree. The truly bad film is one where the people who were making it thought they really had something.  They thought they were making, if not 'art' then at least, a good film.  The best they could do.  Not hamming it up and knowingly producing camped-up crap that they know is never going to win any awards.  Most comedy is based on failure.  The great thing about a truly bad films is their auteurs' failure to fulfil their ambitions. 

BTW, my current WORST movie I've ever seen: _Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft_ (2013) makes_ Troll 2 _look _Laurence of Arabia_.


----------



## J Riff

Oh I'm off to find that one then.


----------



## JunkMonkey

J Riff said:


> Oh I'm off to find that one then.



I seriously wouldn't bother:
*


			
				 my film diary said:
			
		


			Hansel & Gretel: Warriors of Witchcraft
		
Click to expand...

*


			
				 my film diary said:
			
		

> (2013) - Hoooo boy! A knockbuster feeding frenzy! Of the four! (at least) films reworking (or at least using the names of) the Grimm Brothers' story made in 2013 this HAS to be the worst. I haven't seen any of the others: Hansel and Gretel, Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Hansel & Gretel Get Baked but I can state this as a fact. An amazingly pants film which featured an endless reuse of establishing shots of places that appear to have nothing to do with the story. (At the start they are used so ineptly that our heroes appear to be expelled from the new school they are then sent to - which is clever.) By the end, after watching the same half dozen shots of somewhere endlessly reused, I got to recognising the extras. The star extra was the girl in the pink trousers and knapsack who can be seen aimlessly wandering around in shot after shot after shot. Even those scenes which are supposedly taking place days after her initial sighting she's got the same clothes on and is diligently striding about getting nowhere. Nameless girl in pink pants, I salute you; you stole the movie. (Not that I suspect it takes much to steal a movie from Fivel and Booboo Stewart. Eric Roberts didn't even try. I suspect he was too busy laughing at the script and where the director was placing the camera to keep a straight face for most of the time.)


----------



## J Riff

Uh-oh... I have it now... and I watched the intro where the guy has a little cgi ball in his hand... and I am afraid.
 Oh hey... _The Black Hole, 2015_, is on right now and my friend is being zombified by it. It presumes to SF but seems more like a miserable TV soapOpera of some kind... as a violinist guy supposedly watches the collapse of time and space. And plot.


----------



## BAYLOR

*Star Trek Generation* 1994.   . It was essentially a Next Generation episode with bigger budget and not very good at all.


----------



## J Riff

Agh, JunkMonkey is right - don't bother. It's tedious, and that's the differmints I reckons - _Troll2 _is jaw-dropping, whilst_ H n' G - W.O.W._ is just ghastly well-to-do teenagers in a vaguely satanic school with cheap cgi.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Thank you.  (I like being right.) Watching Eric Roberts trying not to laugh was fun though.


----------



## J Riff

Yea, the way he tests her witch-power by tossing baseballs at her is... something...*


----------



## sooC

Streetfighter is still up there, closely followed by Hoboken Hollow. The Prince is the most recent candidate for worst film starring John Cusack's coat.


----------



## BAYLOR

sooC said:


> Streetfighter is still up there, closely followed by Hoboken Hollow. The Prince is the most recent candidate for worst film starring John Cusack's coat.



*Streetfighter *was Raul Julia's last film.


----------



## Dan Jones

Troll2 is a masterpiece of bad filmmaking, but I can kind of forgive its awfulness, and at least it has a wafer-thin plot. In my mind it has latterly been usurped by Tommy Wiseau's _The Room_, which is a staggering filmmaking achievement, inasmuch as it isn't actually about anything, in any way. Definitely worth watching.


----------



## Kerrybuchanan

Aaargh! Tried to watch Green Hornet last night, but it was really dismal. Jay Chou had a hard time performing with Seth Rogan, who really couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. I usually enjoy Cameron Diaz's scatty, dizzy blonde act, but she didn't seem to enjoy herself enough to put any real effort into the role. I can hardly blame her.

Gave up about half way through when I realised that even if the plot ever picked up, the film was so badly directed that it was never going to work for me. I see it crashed in the cinema. Shame.


----------



## J Riff

Well, try _Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter_ then ... it's good bad.


----------



## Vladd67

Kerrybuchanan said:


> Aaargh! Tried to watch Green Hornet last night, but it was really dismal. Jay Chou had a hard time performing with Seth Rogan, who really couldn't act his way out of a paper bag. I usually enjoy Cameron Diaz's scatty, dizzy blonde act, but she didn't seem to enjoy herself enough to put any real effort into the role. I can hardly blame her.
> 
> Gave up about half way through when I realised that even if the plot ever picked up, the film was so badly directed that it was never going to work for me. I see it crashed in the cinema. Shame.


I've tried to watch that film twice, each time I gave up, to be honest I haven't even attempted to watch The Lone Ranger I just have a feeling it will be the same.


----------



## J Riff

All comic book stuff is the same now. There's an A and a B team, but it's all of a piece. I just watched AntMan. It was buggy.


----------



## Kerrybuchanan

@Vlad67 I watched the Lone Ranger recently and it wasn't too bad. My husband says it's because I've a thing for Johnny Depp (he's right).

It seemed to be trying too hard to be two different films, one with a serious message and the other a comedy, and ended up failing slightly on both counts. I would watch it again though which I cannot say about the Green Hornet!


----------



## BAYLOR

DG Jones said:


> Troll2 is a masterpiece of bad filmmaking, but I can kind of forgive its awfulness, and at least it has a wafer-thin plot. In my mind it has latterly been usurped by Tommy Wiseau's _The Room_, which is a staggering filmmaking achievement, inasmuch as it isn't actually about anything, in any way. Definitely worth watching.




The first Troll film was fun to watch . Troll 2 was quite the opposite.


----------



## J Riff

Troll2, if you look into it, was made by some special people. It is agonizing. I have a review in here somewhere, but it is so awesomely inane that it is difficult to remember... oh, wait.... Nilbog. Gramps. The Goblin stone.... oh no, it's all coming baaaaaaaaaack*


----------



## BAYLOR

J Riff said:


> Troll2, if you look into it, was made by some special people. It is agonizing. I have a review in here somewhere, but it is so awesomely inane that it is difficult to remember... oh, wait.... Nilbog. Gramps. The Goblin stone.... oh no, it's all coming baaaaaaaaaack*



They gave no thought to the writing.


----------



## HanaBi

*Cannibal Holocaust - Wikipedia*

I recall watching this on old VHS tape back in the 80s and the era of "video nasties" was all the rage in the UK.

This film had been banned by the BBFC, but if you knew where to look there were plenty of pirate copies doing the rounds. The gore I didn't mind quite so much; although the cruelty to animals (real not fake) was hard going/totally unnecessary; and the violent rapes were just appalling.


----------



## Paul_C

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if it's been mentioned already, but the worst film I've seen was Batman Begins. 

I've been told it gets better but I've only seen it up to the point where he comes out of the trees after burning down the temple and Albert's waiting for him with a plane. I was so outraged at the ridiculousness of this that I turned it off. I did try again to placate friends but it annoyed me just as much the second time  

I will admit I may not be the best judge as I haven't been to the cinema since 2001 (Gosford Park) but I have seen occasional films on TV and DVD


----------



## Steven Sorrels

Thankskilling.

Don't look it up. Don't watch it. Just trust me on this. The ONLY good thing about that movie is there is a rather attractive topless girl in the very beginning. After watching the rest, you'll want to burn your house down just to have some warmth back in your life again.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Steven Sorrels said:


> Thankskilling.
> 
> Don't look it up. Don't watch it. Just trust me on this. The ONLY good thing about that movie is there is a rather attractive topless girl in the very beginning. After watching the rest, you'll want to burn your house down just to have some warmth back in your life again.



They made a sequel: ThanksKilling 3 (2012) - IMDb


----------



## J Riff

Burn the house down to have some warmth back.... Heh* you should write movie reviews, JM... * )
A forgotten bad one? Errr.... uhm, Rat Scratch Fever. Neverminnnd...


----------



## BAYLOR

Has anyone ever seen *The Incredible Melting Man* ?  The film came out in 1975 and was in the theaters very briefly . An astronaut returns from Saturn  infected with a virus which causes his flesh to  melt . The only way  he can keep himself alive is to eat human flesh. This film has it all, bad writing, diabolical acting , Crappy editing and directing.   It got the Mystery *Science Theater 3000 Treatment*.


----------



## JunkMonkey

"My God! It's his EAR!"


----------



## HanaBi

BAYLOR said:


> Has anyone ever seen *The Incredible Melting Man* ?  The film came out in 1975 and was in the theaters very briefly . An astronaut returns from Saturn  infected with a virus which causes his flesh to  melt . The only way  he can keep himself alive is to eat human flesh. This film has it all, bad writing, diabolical acting , Crappy editing and directing.   It got the Mystery *Science Theater 3000 Treatment*.



Oh my!

Yes, I remember seeing that very same film back in the late 70s. I recall it well because I was only 13 at the time, and it was my first "AA" rated film I managed to get into ("AA" rating is now called a "15" in the UK - no one under 15 allowed). To be honest I was more chuffed at getting past the box-officer manager kidding him that I was old enough to get in (memorizing a fake date of birth just in case) than the film itself. Although I did quite like the bloody gore, even if the sfx were pretty naff.

20 years on I watched it on VHS just for old times sake. And dear oh dear oh dear. What a complete mess of a film! Doesn't quite rank as the worst I've ever seen, but search hard enough and it will be near the bottom of the barrel someplace.


----------



## juelz4sure

Basket case, absolutely dreadful! Negative 5 stars


----------



## HanaBi

Can I throw "*Morons from Outer Space*" into the mix please?

I was reminded of this only by accident earlier this morning when a work colleague mentioned the old BBC TV show "Smith & Jones" with Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones. (great show, btw)

I vividly recall the trailers for this film way back in 1985, when Mel & Griff were probably at their peek. Had such high hopes based purely on those trailers. But as it turned out the trailers contained all the best/funny bits. The film itself was about as funny as a party political broadcast, despite the promising cast, and Mike Hodges, the director.

But I suspect the weakest link here was in the writing. Stand up Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones! They can certainly write TV comedy, but alas it all rather fell apart on the big screen.


----------



## JunkMonkey

HanaBi said:


> Can I throw "*Morons from Outer Space*" into the mix please?
> 
> I was reminded of this only by accident earlier this morning when a work colleague mentioned the old BBC TV show "Smith & Jones" with Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones. (great show, btw)
> 
> I vividly recall the trailers for this film way back in 1985, when Mel & Griff were probably at their peek. Had such high hopes based purely on those trailers. But as it turned out the trailers contained all the best/funny bits. The film itself was about as funny as a party political broadcast, despite the promising cast, and Mike Hodges, the director.
> 
> But I suspect the weakest link here was in the writing. Stand up Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones! They can certainly write TV comedy, but alas it all rather fell apart on the big screen.



I had forgotten that one. (Damn you for reminding me!) As I have said before I have a very high pain threshold when it comes to bad films, even bad British SF / Fantasy 'comedies', but _Morons From Outer Space_ defeated me.  Totally dreadful.  I still have a copy so I may have another go, some day when I'm feeling particularly masochistic.


----------



## J Riff

Same here. Had forgotten the Morons, wonder why..* Should it be revisited? Nay, nae, nahhhh...* But, what fresh, or forgotten, rubbish is still out there? Watched _The Flying Serpent_, good old Quetzacoatl flying around on a wire in black and white, and _Beast of Borneo_... but keep those inane suggestions coming, fans of quality rubbish. *)
And now, off to watch _War of the Insects,_ and _The Woman Eater_ (1957).


----------



## TWErvin2

_Message from Space,_ from the late 1970s.

Some sort of Star Wars type ripoff, with horrible acting, horrible plot line and the special effects...while they could be cheesy in a good way, weren't.


----------



## BAYLOR

TWErvin2 said:


> _Message from Space,_ from the late 1970s.
> 
> Some sort of Star Wars type ripoff, with horrible acting, horrible plot line and the special effects...while they could be cheesy in a good way, weren't.



And who can forget such memorable dialogue as  " Im a human being from planet Earth " and    " They don't call me Kamikaze for nothing "


----------



## HanaBi

*"Pluto Nash" (2002) *

I remember watching this on DVD 10 years ago during a flight to Montreal, Canada, and starring Eddie "way past his sell-by date" Murphy.

About as funny/entertaining as a two hour trip to a drunk proctologist!

A $100m budget and about $2 worth of laughs!

Awful script, dreadful editing, poor direction, incredibly bad miscasting and a disinterested Murphy in it purely for the cash, and about as convincing as a politician telling the truth!


0.5/5


----------



## BAYLOR

HanaBi said:


> *"Pluto Nash" (2002) *
> 
> I remember watching this on DVD 10 years ago during a flight to Montreal, Canada, and starring Eddie "way past his sell-by date" Murphy.
> 
> About as funny/entertaining as a two hour trip to a drunk proctologist!
> 
> A $100m budget and about $2 worth of laughs!
> 
> Awful script, dreadful editing, poor direction, incredibly bad miscasting and a disinterested Murphy in it purely for the cash, and about as convincing as a politician telling the truth!
> 
> 
> 0.5/5




It makes *Pixels * look like an academy award winning film.


----------



## JunkMonkey

HanaBi said:


> *"Pluto Nash" (2002)*
> 
> About as funny/entertaining as a two hour trip to a drunk proctologist!
> 
> A $100m budget and about $2 worth of laughs!
> 
> Awful script, dreadful editing, poor direction, incredibly bad miscasting and a disinterested Murphy in it purely for the cash, and about as convincing as a politician telling the truth!
> 
> 0.5/5



I remember it well.  This was the only shot in the whole movie that caught my interest: (possibly NSFW depending on how puritanical your boss/coworkers are).
...oops!


----------



## J Riff

Plutrid. Well I watched _Left Behind_, and it is unusual... People disappear - poof - and only their clothes are left behind. Guess who's teleporting them out? That's right, it's God, as predicted by some of the cast.


----------



## JunkMonkey

The Nicolas Cage one?


----------



## BAYLOR

J Riff said:


> Plutrid. Well I watched _Left Behind_, and it is unusual... People disappear - poof - and only their clothes are left behind. Guess who's teleporting them out? That's right, it's God, as predicted by some of the cast.






JunkMonkey said:


> The Nicolas Cage one?



I avoided that one.


----------



## WilliamDavey627

kyektulu said:


> *Re: Worst film seen...*
> 
> 
> 
> *Yeah, that was dire it must be said.*


 Did it do well though? I think the title stuck in many people's head. Plus you had two big stars at the time in it. That's not to say it wasn't great


----------



## AlexH

According to my IMDB ratings, the worst films I've seen are:

2046 - I found this really boring, and couldn't wait to leave the cinema. There was a brief sci-fi-ish bit where it suddenly seemed like it was becoming intriguing.
Five Seconds to Spare - British 'comedy'. Another boring one. I didn't care about any of the characters and it seemed like a really unrealistic portrayal of being in a band.
Louise-Michel - black comedy that I didn't like very much at all.
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - I think this was supposed to be a comedy. I hate musicals. Why did I even watch it?
Anomalisa - it was intriguing to start with, and the animation was nice, but ugh. I didn't care for this at all.

I probably remember more about those than I do some of the films I've given high ratings.



Paul_C said:


> I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if it's been mentioned already, but the worst film I've seen was Batman Begins.



That's actually one of my favourites. I enjoyed Christopher Nolan's previous films, and Batman Begins, so much, that I got caught up in all the hype with The Dark Knight, and ended up not enjoyed that - though it was still far from one my least favourite films.


----------



## CoriSCapnSkip

BAYLOR said:


> The first Troll film was fun to watch . Troll 2 was quite the opposite.



_Troll 2_ is supposed to be the worst film ever made, but it is entertaining.  Be sure not to watch it alone, but with family and friends capable of making sarcastic remarks.  I watched it and also the documentary _The Best Worst Movie_.


----------



## J Riff

yup. Troll2 is terrible fun. Birdemic2... whew.


----------



## Astro Pen

_Genova_.  2008 Colin Firth.
Dreadful,  never builds much pressure and runs out of steam without reaching a station.
Billed as a "supernatural chiller" there is  none of either.  I want my hour and a half back.


----------



## Bick

Astro Pen said:


> _Genova_.  2008 Colin Firth.
> Dreadful,  never builds much pressure and runs out of steam without reaching a station.
> Billed as a "supernatural chiller" there is  none of either.  I want my hour and a half back.


Doesn’t seem to meet the criterion of “so bad it’s good” though. Some of the old hammer films certainly met the criterion.


----------



## Christine Wheelwright

There are many films that are just plain bad.  But a special place in hell should be reserved for movies that are dreadful, while aspiring to be good. Its the pretension that really annoys.   Eat,Pray,Love springs to mind.


----------



## Droflet

Yes, Christine (of the wheel) I have zero tolerance for pretentious drivel. Oh, and welcome to Chrons.


----------



## BAYLOR

Christine Wheelwright said:


> There are many films that are just plain bad.  But a special place in hell should be reserved for movies that are dreadful, while aspiring to be good. Its the pretension that really annoys.   Eat,Pray,Love springs to mind.



That would probably include all of Ed Woods films.


----------



## Alex The G and T

AlexH said:


> The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - I think this was supposed to be a comedy. I hate musicals. Why did I even watch it?


I don't really remember this as being a "musical"  but more High Campy, pushing the level of the Rocky Horror show.  The story was sorta poignant; but the assorted "Events" along the way I found humorous.

In an amusing side note to scene about the ping pong ball exhibitionist who stole the show from the drag queens...

This song was written about the same time, when there was a crazed fad over a rivalry between the US and China over Ping Pong (Table Tennis) tournaments.  When was that?  Late Eighties?.

Hence the lyric, when Mitzi says,   "It has no connection with China."

The juxtaposition of that particular movie scene and this song gives me great delight.  (And It's a damned great sounding song)


----------



## Bick

I have not seen it, but if anyone else can shed light on the qualification of _The Giant Spider Invasion_ (1975) for this thread, I would be most interested.


----------



## Droflet

It could be an Oscar contender when compared to *Eight Legged Freaks*.


----------



## Victoria Silverwolf

Bick said:


> I have not seen it, but if anyone else can shed light on the qualification of _The Giant Spider Invasion_ (1975) for this thread, I would be most interested.
> 
> View attachment 85406




I have seen it.  It is quite bad, as the goofy-looking giant spider may indicate.


----------



## Victoria Silverwolf

BAYLOR said:


> That would probably include all of Ed Woods films.



I'm not so sure.  Wood's films are not good, to be sure, but I think they lack the "Oscar bait" pretentiousness of something straining to be a serious film and not succeeding.  Wood seemed to be more saying "I want to make a movie!" and, by George, he did.  (His most personal, *Glen or Glenda*, has a theme close to his heart, but its weird artiness is more eccentric, I believe, than pretentious.)


----------



## BAYLOR

Victoria Silverwolf said:


> I'm not so sure.  Wood's films are not good, to be sure, but I think they lack the "Oscar bait" pretentiousness of something straining to be a serious film and not succeeding.  Wood seemed to be more saying "I want to make a movie!" and, by George, he did.  (His most personal, *Glen or Glenda*, has a theme close to his heart, but its weird artiness is more eccentric, I believe, than pretentious.)



If Ed Wood had  been born 30 years later then was , he would been doing music videos for MTV and probably would have been very successful at it. His style of film  making  actually would perfect that that medium.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Victoria Silverwolf said:


> Wood seemed to be more saying "I want to make a movie!" and, by George, he did.



Totally!  Which qualifies him in my book as a genuine artist.  An outsider artist maybe but a genuine artist. I would much prefer see  movies made with conviction and heart (no matter how bad) than any number of cynically churned out, technically superior pap made by people who could just as well be making widgets as movies for all they care. (The Asylum and later New World productions spring to mind) 

Ed Wood did make one film which achieved everything it set out to do. (Though he only wrote it.)

_Orgy of the Dead_  the cheapest 'nudie flick' ever made.  One set. A string of burlesque strippers of varying skill wearing as little as the morals of the day would allow doing a titty-shaking shuffle then moving on.  Still pretty dreadful but it did what it said on the tin and it's also the least interesting of his films because of it.


----------



## J Riff

.. .we have to separate the actual pretentious CruD...  like a lot of newish netflik stuff. ..from the B movies made on a shoestring... I have collected drivel since the inception of VCR, and part of the charm is that u can watch them again a few years later cos  no way can you remember them that long.
 There was a 12 min. cut-down version of the Giant Spider Invasion... I've done this too, with certain movies,:  edit down to ten minutes or so, and it usually seems to concentrate the sub-B rubbish quite nicely.


----------



## AE35Unit

There's too many crap films out there to pick just one


----------



## CupofJoe

There are a lot of just plain bad films out there. Films that are filler for TV channels and are made for length. For me the warning sign is any TVM with the title "Someone's name: the true/real/untold story". They are usually even worse if the can get the word "Baby" in to the title.
As for cinema... *The Thin Red Line* [1998]
I just don't understand how anyone can like this film. Pretentious, confusing, and unintelligible in places. 
I paid money to see that and still think Terrence Malick owes me £2.50


----------



## Guttersnipe

It's a toss-up between two:

1) Nuke 'em High (1986). This is in the Toxic Avenger series, the other installments of which I've thankfully never seen. I didn't like the gross-out "humor." The script and actors were horrid.

2) S. Darko (2009). This is a pitiful, pretentious sequel to Donnie Darko, one of my favorite films. If you're also a fan, I strongly suggest skipping this one.


----------



## JunkMonkey

What do people mean when they use the word 'Pretentious' about movies?  (I haven't seen _The Thin Red Line_ or _S.Darko_, I'm not having a go at you, Cupofjoe or Guttersnipe.)  But I really find it hard to understand how the word applies to a piece of art.  I can see how it applies to people. (The innate British class system means I am part of a society that seems to be culturally hardwired to sneer at people getting 'above their station' or be snobbish about those who pretend to be 'better than they are' and all that other crap - though less so than in earlier times I am glad to say.)   I have seen many films I adore being dismissed as 'pretentious'. Tarkovsky’s _Solaris_, Kubrik's _2001_,  Kieślowski's _Double Life of Véronique _.  All slow, long, but wonderfully rewarding films - and not a car chase in any of them.  I have watched films that have baffled me, left me cold, and therefore probably in reflection weren't worth the effort in watching them.   A recent example would be _Céline et Julie vont en bateau_ (Celine and Julie go Boating 1974) which is lauded by them that know and securely in place in the pantheon of  1001 Films You Should Watch Before you Die but left me just sitting there thinking what's this all this ABOUT? for most of its running time.  Experimental, challenging, obscure, elliptic, different, non-standard, odd, boring, disjointed, weird,  - I can recognise all those in a film (all apply to _Céline et Julie vont en bateau_ in parts ) But 'pretentious'?  I don't know how to apply the word. Just because I didn't 'get it' - whatever 'it' is doesn't mean it isn't there to get.  It just means I don't have the critical tools to hand to find it.


----------



## JunkMonkey

AE35Unit said:


> There's too many crap films out there to pick just one



There speaks someone who has never seen _Zombie Women of Satan_ 









						Zombie Women of Satan (2009) - IMDb
					

Zombie Women of Satan: Directed by Steve O'Brien, Warren Speed. With Victoria Hopkins, Warren Speed, Christian Steel, Seymour Leon Mace. A travelling group of freaks, headed up by Pervo the Clown, go to a rural farm to take part in a webcast interview to help them gain more followers and make...




					www.imdb.com


----------



## AE35Unit

JunkMonkey said:


> There speaks someone who has never seen _Zombie Women of Satan_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Zombie Women of Satan (2009) - IMDb
> 
> 
> Zombie Women of Satan: Directed by Steve O'Brien, Warren Speed. With Victoria Hopkins, Warren Speed, Christian Steel, Seymour Leon Mace. A travelling group of freaks, headed up by Pervo the Clown, go to a rural farm to take part in a webcast interview to help them gain more followers and make...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.imdb.com


Here speaks someone who wouldn't waste time watching such drivel


----------



## paranoid marvin

JunkMonkey said:


> What do people mean when they use the word 'Pretentious' about movies?  (I haven't seen _The Thin Red Line_ or _S.Darko_, I'm not having a go at you, Cupofjoe or Guttersnipe.)  But I really find it hard to understand how the word applies to a piece of art.  I can see how it applies to people. (The innate British class system means I am part of a society that seems to be culturally hardwired to sneer at people getting 'above their station' or be snobbish about those who pretend to be 'better than they are' and all that other crap - though less so than in earlier times I am glad to say.)   I have seen many films I adore being dismissed as 'pretentious'. Tarkovsky’s _Solaris_, Kubrik's _2001_,  Kieślowski's _Double Life of Véronique _.  All slow, long, but wonderfully rewarding films - and not a car chase in any of them.  I have watched films that have baffled me, left me cold, and therefore probably in reflection weren't worth the effort in watching them.   A recent example would be _Céline et Julie vont en bateau_ (Celine and Julie go Boating 1974) which is lauded by them that know and securely in place in the pantheon of  1001 Films You Should Watch Before you Die but left me just sitting there thinking what's this all this ABOUT? for most of its running time.  Experimental, challenging, obscure, elliptic, different, non-standard, odd, boring, disjointed, weird,  - I can recognise all those in a film (all apply to _Céline et Julie vont en bateau_ in parts ) But 'pretentious'?  I don't know how to apply the word. Just because I didn't 'get it' - whatever 'it' is doesn't mean it isn't there to get.  It just means I don't have the critical tools to hand to find it.



I think it's because it's trying to be something that it isn't. The Thin Red Line is a war movie that tries _not _to be , and ends up just being boring. There's a fine line between genius and dull; I think that 2001 is a scifi movie that tries something different and succeeds, The Deer Hunter is a war movie that tries something different and succeeds; TTRL is a war movie that tries something different and fails miserably.


----------



## JunkMonkey

paranoid marvin said:


> I think it's because it's trying to be something that it isn't. The Thin Red Line is a war movie that tries _not _to be , and ends up just being boring. There's a fine line between genius and dull; I think that 2001 is a scifi movie that tries something different and succeeds, The Deer Hunter is a war movie that tries something different and succeeds; TTRL is a war movie that tries something different and fails miserably.



Then that's just failure. If _2001 _ had failed would that have been pretentious? Is everything that fails pretentious?  

I think the closest thing I can think of as being 'pretentious' is the _Matrix _movies* which a lot of people seem to think are deeply philosophical works but just appear to to me to be sophomoric twaddle dressed up in bad science fiction movie clothing.   (Or conversely a bad science fiction movie with a thin veneer of cod philosophy slapped over the top of it to hide the cracks.)  _Battlefield Earth_ with better special effects and fewer wonky camera angles.   I cannot really think of  _Battlefield Earth _ as a pretentious film. It's just bad. 

* Or _Southland Tales_


----------



## AE35Unit

paranoid marvin said:


> I think it's because it's trying to be something that it isn't. The Thin Red Line is a war movie that tries _not _to be , and ends up just being boring. There's a fine line between genius and dull; I think that 2001 is a scifi movie that tries something different and succeeds, The Deer Hunter is a war movie that tries something different and succeeds; TTRL is a war movie that tries something different and fails miserably.


A film describing itself as art is pretentious


----------



## JunkMonkey

Films are just as much an art as any other form of human expression / discipline.   Just as much an art as opera, architecture, painting etc. 

I'm not sure how a film describes 'itself' as art.  

Opening Title Card: I am Art

?


----------



## AE35Unit

Films are entertainments, not works of art


----------



## Av Demeisen

AE35Unit said:


> Films are entertainments, not works of art


David Lynch?


----------



## CupofJoe

Art is what you believe it to be. A creator can declare that something is art, but only you can agree with that.. Or not.


----------



## JunkMonkey

AE35Unit said:


> Films are entertainments, not works of art



That, is an utterly fatuous statement.

Just because something is made to entertain doesn't mean it's not art.  Someone had better tell Mozart. Handel, and Wagner they were just entertainers not real artists.  And Proust, Hemingway, Wilde, Shakespeare, Moliere... they weren't artists either?  You'll be telling me that painting isn't an art form next because most of classical art was done by skilled painters for hire to specific commissions (money!) to make political/religious/client-aggrandising statements. Or for titillation...   all those nudes weren't painted by accident.  A bit like movies really.  Most art (since the Renaissance at least) has been made by people who expected to get paid for what they did.  

Movies are an expensive proposition.  They cost a lot to make.  It's easier to make your money back if you make entertaining films.  So of course most films will be entertainments.  They are still pieces of art.  

I remember hearing and interview with Philip Glass who was bewildered when people accused him of 'selling out' when his music started to become popular.  He said: "I'd been trying to sell out for years - no one was buying!"



CupofJoe said:


> Art is what you believe it to be. A creator can declare that something is art, but only you can agree with that.. Or not.



So if I say The Sistine chapel roof is not art it ceases to be art?  It's undeniably art.  All I can say is that it is Good art or Bad art.  Which is not the same thing as whether I like it or not.  There is a lot of bad art I like and a lot of good art I dislike - intensely.  And sometimes I change my mind - I though Mark Rothko was a talentless chancer till I actually saw some of his paintings for real (and not just reproduced in books) and I was bowled over; I thought they were brilliant.


----------



## CupofJoe

JunkMonkey said:


> So if I say The Sistine chapel roof is not art it ceases to be art?  It's undeniably art.  All I can say is that it is Good art or Bad art.  Which is not the same thing as whether I like it or not.  There is a lot of bad art I like and a lot of good art I dislike - intensely.  And sometimes I change my mind - I though Mark Rothko was a talentless chancer till I actually saw some of his paintings for real (and not just reproduced in books) and I was bowled over; I thought they were brilliant.


If a viewer believes it not to be art, then it is not art to them. They may be in a minority of one but it is still just their point of view. And just as valid as any other.
Someone else [and I'm thinking of an elderly Aunt] would see it merely over fussy decoration and should be overpainted in a nice magnolia. No seriously, she said something very similar about an old [pre-reformation?] fresco in a local church. It wasn't quite the Last Supper but all she could see was the faded and flaking paint and not the messages behind it. Overpainting it would make look "tidy".
I don't believe in good and bad art. There is stuff someone likes or can appreciate and stuff they don't.
I think Rothko is the perfect example. 
He divides opinion. but it is just that, opinion. I am one of those people that goes in to London [okay not recently] to sit in his room in the Tate Modern for hours, just looking and trying to see what he saw. My mother wouldn't even walk in to the room calling it "dirty" and many people don't get him. As you say I think, you have to see them to get them.
I love Da Vinci's drawings but many of his paintings leave me cold. I really don't understand why the Mona Lisa is rated as a painting. It's okay but nothing special, as far as I feel. But the queue of visitors into the Louvre and about 500 years of general consensus are some what against me.


----------



## BAYLOR

Droflet said:


> It could be an Oscar contender when compared to *Eight Legged Freaks*.



A lot of time and care went into that film.


----------



## Justin Swanton

Droflet said:


> It could be an Oscar contender when compared to *Eight Legged Freaks*.


Eight Legged Freaks was fun!


----------



## BAYLOR

Justin Swanton said:


> Eight Legged Freaks was fun!



Those  spiders were the best method actors ive ever seen. Brando would have been so jealous.


----------



## Guttersnipe

JunkMonkey said:


> What do people mean when they use the word 'Pretentious' about movies?  (I haven't seen _The Thin Red Line_ or _S.Darko_, I'm not having a go at you, Cupofjoe or Guttersnipe.)  But I really find it hard to understand how the word applies to a piece of art.  I can see how it applies to people. (The innate British class system means I am part of a society that seems to be culturally hardwired to sneer at people getting 'above their station' or be snobbish about those who pretend to be 'better than they are' and all that other crap - though less so than in earlier times I am glad to say.)   I have seen many films I adore being dismissed as 'pretentious'. Tarkovsky’s _Solaris_, Kubrik's _2001_,  Kieślowski's _Double Life of Véronique _.  All slow, long, but wonderfully rewarding films - and not a car chase in any of them.  I have watched films that have baffled me, left me cold, and therefore probably in reflection weren't worth the effort in watching them.   A recent example would be _Céline et Julie vont en bateau_ (Celine and Julie go Boating 1974) which is lauded by them that know and securely in place in the pantheon of  1001 Films You Should Watch Before you Die but left me just sitting there thinking what's this all this ABOUT? for most of its running time.  Experimental, challenging, obscure, elliptic, different, non-standard, odd, boring, disjointed, weird,  - I can recognise all those in a film (all apply to _Céline et Julie vont en bateau_ in parts ) But 'pretentious'?  I don't know how to apply the word. Just because I didn't 'get it' - whatever 'it' is doesn't mean it isn't there to get.  It just means I don't have the critical tools to hand to find it.


Interestingly enough, the first definition of pretentious is "intended to impress" and refers to things rather than people for the most part. S. Darko is just that. Whoever made it was clearly biting off more than they could chew. Movies like these attempt to be "artsy" and wind up falling flat. Another film I find pretentious is A Ghost Story, which includes a seven-minute pie-eating scene.

I do agree that films are works of art, but they're still very different from paintings.


----------



## Justin Swanton

Plenty of movies try to be profound and IMHO virtually all of them fall flat. The problem is that screenwriters are not philosophers, even less are directors and much, much less are producers. Nothing turns me off a movie like pseudo-wisdom. Circle of life and all that.


----------



## Guttersnipe

I haven't seen all of it, but Escape from Tomorrow was awful. The Room by Tommy Wiseau was wrong in all the right ways--juvenile, yes, but it makes for a good laugh.


----------



## CupofJoe

Is *Eight Legged Freaks* the one with the Spider-on-a-stick in a shower scene? If so it has my vote! 
I might be thinking of *Arachnophobia*.


----------



## Rodders

Photography is considered art, so why not movies? 

Costumes, design, music, effects. The list of subject matter in any movie that could be considered artistic is huge.


----------



## JunkMonkey

CupofJoe said:


> If a viewer believes it not to be art, then it is not art to them. They may be in a minority of one but it is still just their point of view. And just as valid as any other.
> Someone else [and I'm thinking of an elderly Aunt] would see it merely over fussy decoration and should be overpainted in a nice magnolia. No seriously, she said something very similar about an old [pre-reformation?] fresco in a local church. It wasn't quite the Last Supper but all she could see was the faded and flaking paint and not the messages behind it. Overpainting it would make look "tidy".
> I don't believe in good and bad art. There is stuff someone likes or can appreciate and stuff they don't.
> I think Rothko is the perfect example.
> He divides opinion. but it is just that, opinion. I am one of those people that goes in to London [okay not recently] to sit in his room in the Tate Modern for hours, just looking and trying to see what he saw. My mother wouldn't even walk in to the room calling it "dirty" and many people don't get him. As you say I think, you have to see them to get them.
> I love Da Vinci's drawings but many of his paintings leave me cold. I really don't understand why the Mona Lisa is rated as a painting. It's okay but nothing special, as far as I feel. But the queue of visitors into the Louvre and about 500 years of general consensus are some what against me.



The very place I had my Rothko epiphany - and Leonardo Da Vinci was a real Sunday afternoon painter wasn't he?  Like you, I love his drawings but his paintings (the 'Salvator Mundi' in particular) are the worst kind of chocolate box kitsch - though all power to the man for inventing chocolate box kitsch hundreds of years before anyone else thought of it.   I have an image of him surrounded by scrumpled-up drawings of improbable flying machines and the like, slapping a final smudge to the Gioconda, eyes gleaming, and thinking, "Yes! Yes! THIS is the one I will be remembered for!" like Johnny Depp in Tim Burton's _Ed Wood_.

Which brings us back to bad movies...


----------



## Justin Swanton

What are the visual cues of a bad movie? I can think of a few:

1. Developing instant emphysema in stressful situations even though the actors haven't done enough physical exertion to justify the breathlessness.
2. Lots of significant stares between characters for long seconds without speaking to indicate that something momentous had been said/done.
3. Soul-spilling in perilous situations where no normal human being would think of an emotional bout of introspection but would be focussed on staying alive instead.
4. Doing something completely irrational that has no other effect than to create conflict between the main characters.
5. Seeing one or more of one's close entourage die and being complete unfazed five seconds later.
6. Extreme emotional instability (this relates to 3) - shifting from one heightened emotional state to another: copious weeping followed by furious anger followed by hysterical laughter, etc.
7. Every character is preened and groomed as if about to make a visit to the White House.


----------



## BAYLOR

Other hallmarks  of bad movies

1 A complete absence of an intelligent script or story
2. Film editors who have no  real concept of what film editing entails
3. Directors who should be doing something  else for living that's not movie related
4. Movie executives can't tell a good movie idea from a bad one
5. Diabolical  acting
6.  Production values that range from  mere mediocrity  all the way down to" Oh my god the  poor hero is being menaced by cheap badly made cheesy looking  prop  !"


----------



## Justin Swanton

The supreme hallmark of a bad movie:

Rehashing the title and theme of a movie franchise that has already been beaten to death: "Jurassic Hunt", "Sharktopus", "Puppet Master 10: Axis Rising", "Species, the Awakening", etc.


----------



## JunkMonkey

BAYLOR said:


> Other hallmarks  of bad movies
> 
> 1 A complete absence of an intelligent script or story
> 2. Film editors who have no  real concept of what film editing entails
> 3. Directors who should be doing something  else for living that's not movie related
> 4. Movie executives can't tell a good movie idea from a bad one
> 5. Diabolical  acting
> 6.  Production values that range from  mere mediocrity  all the way down to" Oh my god the  poor hero is being menaced by cheap badly made cheesy looking  prop  !"





2 - In defence of editors whose names appear on bad movies (and that includes me) I have to point out that editors can only work with the footage they have (or can steal from somewhere).  If the director doesn't know his line of action from a hole in the ground, thinks continuity is a luxury, and doesn't give the editor any coverage to work with then, with the best will in the world, the most accomplished editor can't edit crap into decent shape.  Skilfully edited crap is still crap.
And  about 4 Most movie executives don't care about movies.  They don't care if it's good or bad.  All they care about is does it / will it turn a profit?

EDIT: _Species: The Awakening_ was much better than the third one. I remember the cinematography and editing being far better than the average 'straight to DVD' level.


----------



## TWErvin2

This movie came to mind, that I saw years ago: Message from Space (1978)


----------



## M.P. VandenBerg

Paige Turner said:


> *Re: Worst film seen...*
> 
> I know that some grief will come of this, as I remember seeing this on somebody's top ten list, but the first hour of Event Horizon was terrible. To put it in Monty Python terms, it was dull, boring, tedious, dreary and awful. At first, I wished Sam Neill was dead. Then I wished all the cast members were dead. When I wished *I* was dead, I knew it was time to go.The bad news was that the cinema only refunds the admission if you walk in the first 30 minutes. I waited an hour, but I didn't walk, I bolted.


Damn, that's one of my all-time favourites. Just goes to show how dramatically different tastes can be.


----------



## M.P. VandenBerg

Space Cowboy's

A bunch of old misogynists go to space in the most scientifically illiterate adventure ever committed to film.


----------



## JunkMonkey

Poking about in my movie diary, looking to see what rude things I'd said about a film for another thread, I got sidetracked (as you do) and found many contenders for _this_ thread. 2017 was a good year for watching bad movies for me.

*Survivor *(2014) -  "The fate of the planet lies in her hands - In the early 22nd Century, the Earth falls out of the sun's orbit..." 
*Dominion *(2014) -   not only starred but was produced by Booboo Stewart.
*Alien Blood* (1999) - "For a film involving aliens, lesbian vampires, gratuitous nudity, lots of machine guns, children with psychic abilities that can make people explode, and the random shooting of jugglers and bagpipers - this is one phenomenally dull film"
*Scavengers*  A Firefly like crew of misfit (but loveable) 'scavengers' find the maguffin of Evil Destruction and are pursued around the galaxy by Captain Black McNasty and his black clad crew of nasties - some of whom are black. You know Captain Black McNasty is evil because he has this habit of shooting his crew members dead half way through conversations, and spends most of his time whispering his dialogue in a gruff mumble while trying to count spiders in the corners of the ceiling.
*Evil Aliens *- evil aliens.  in Wales.
*Stranded* (2013) - THE low point of Christian Slater's career.  Directed by Roger (Battlefield Earth) Christian.
*Gappa The Triphibian Monster* - yawn.
*Alien Infiltration *(aka Alien Opponent) - a would-be science fiction, straight to eBay, horror-comedy. Which failed to make the grade in any category. (Apart from the eBay bit: 75p including postage? - I should have known better.)
*Fear Chamber *(1968) - Boris Karloff's last film. Made in Mexico it is an extraordinary film with lots of bad and incoherence mixed in with a few moment of utterly wonderful weirdness. The basic plot is that a kindly old prof. (Karloff) discovers a rock-based life form deep within a volcano. The rock can only live and grow by being fed a chemical found within the brains of terrified women (!) so the doctor obliges. 
*Desert Warrior* (1988) - another Post-Apocalyptical Mad Maxican riot in which Lou 'The Hulk' Ferrigno struts his stuff. 
*Plankton* (aka Creatures from the Abyss) Italian horror crap that made Troll 2 look well made. Five 'teenagers' find a seemingly abandoned boat in the middle of the ocean and the local fish - which have been lunching on radioactive plankton and thus mutated into hyper-sexual flying fish with a taste for human flesh - eat them... but not fast enough.


There were others but that's the cream - or the scum- off the top. But the winner is:


*Dracula 3000* - Holy mother of God! There aren't many films that cause physical pain to watch but this is one of them. Another of the endless number of low budget SF films in which a mixed-sex crew board a derelict space ship and find something nasty onboard. 

This time it's Dracula. 

And that's the end of the plot. 

Seriously.

The rest is just watching the director sneaking his cast and crew into what looks like a petrol refinery when no one is about and filming them walking up and down the same three corridors for hours and hours. Occasionally they stop by to see if the local high school art class has finished making the few purpose built sets and do some expositioning at each other. (The 'recreation room' where some of the 'action' takes place has a pool table,  some comfy sofas, and a weapons rack stocked with loaded semi-automatics. Like all interstellar cargo ships.) Udo Kier lends his B movie credentials with a limp, on-screen, cold reading of bits of script that are supposed to be the the ship's previous captain's log. The ONLY thing that could have saved this film from the IMDb's bottom 100 would have been copious amounts of gratuitous nudity. There wasn't any. 



I win!


----------



## BAYLOR

TWErvin2 said:


> This movie came to mind, that I saw years ago: Message from Space (1978)



They'll probably reboot this one.


----------



## AE35Unit

Napoleon Dynamite. Utter *****


----------



## alexvss

*The Bad Batch (2016)* is an example of how too much politics can harm a movie. It's the win of theme over substance. Also, it's a hell of a disappointment because the filmmaker, having just released an instant cult classic not so long ago, was very promising and I expected so much more of her...


----------



## Mon0Zer0

*Lesbian Vampire Killers - *James Cordon in god awful lad comedy that looks _*up*_ to Carry On Emmanmuelle.*

Run for your Wife *- modern day adaption of a play that was twenty years out of date in 1983. Grossed £602 on its opening weekend. Truly awful.

*Sex lives of the potato men* - Johnny Vegas and Mackenzie crook in a joyless comedy vacuum that is so bad it's bad.


----------



## Le Panda du Mal

Season of the Witch is probably the worst film I've paid money to see


----------



## CupofJoe

Mon0Zer0 said:


> *Lesbian Vampire Killers - *James Cordon in god awful lad comedy that looks _*up*_ to Carry On Emmanmuelle.
> 
> *Run for your Wife *- modern day adaption of a play that was twenty years out of date in 1983. Grossed £602 on its opening weekend. Truly awful.
> 
> *Sex lives of the potato men* - Johnny Vegas and Mackenzie crook in a joyless comedy vacuum that is so bad it's bad.


Years ago there was a news item about *Sex lives*. It was claimed that it [and a few other films] was made to take advantage of tax incentives that were supposed to promote film production but ended up being a route via several loopholes for people to avoid tax.
I remember trying to watch it and I'm not sure I got 5 minutes in.


----------



## BAYLOR

Le Panda du Mal said:


> Season of the Witch is probably the worst film I've paid money to see



Nigel Kneale    who gave us Quatermass,  wrote the  story and screen for that installment  of Halloween  but, he disliked change made to what he wrote and had his name taken off of the film .


----------



## BAYLOR

*Ultraviolet* 2006.   I got a headache watching this film that's how bad it was.


----------



## paranoid marvin

BAYLOR said:


> Nigel Kneale    who gave us Quatermass,  wrote the  story and screen for that installment  of Halloween  but, he disliked change made to what he wrote and had his name taken off of the film .



Are we talking about Halloween III here? I actually liked this movie, I thought it was pretty spooky. However if I'd gone to the cinema to pay I would probably have been annoyed that the movie had nothing to do with the Halloween movies that preceded it. A bit like going to watch a Jaws movie and finding there were no sharks in it.


----------



## BAYLOR

paranoid marvin said:


> Are we talking about Halloween III here? I actually liked this movie, I thought it was pretty spooky. However if I'd gone to the cinema to pay I would probably have been annoyed that the movie had nothing to do with the Halloween movies that preceded it. A bit like going to watch a Jaws movie and finding there were no sharks in it.



After the second Halloween film John Carpenter initially decide on taking an anthology  approach with Halloween , each subsequent film would be  a different story that was Halloween related. Its too bad he didn't follow though with that idea.  As for * Season of the Witch  , *I too liked that film.


----------



## Astro Pen

*Bus Stop* 1956.
                      Spent most of the movie hoping the writers would find a way to kill off Bo Decker before he destroyed Marilyn's Hollywood dream.
Fail 
              And (from before the era of parody) lines like: 
Bo:_ "Cherry, I just know we're gonna be very happy together. 'Till death do us part! ....  But meanwhile, for a weddin' present, I'm gonna get you a deep freeze, or an electric washer, or any other major appliance you want."_


----------



## Le Panda du Mal

BAYLOR said:


> Nigel Kneale    who gave us Quatermass,  wrote the  story and screen for that installment  of Halloween  but, he disliked change made to what he wrote and had his name taken off of the film .


I’m referring to the terrible Nicolas Cage vehicle from 2012. I actually really like Halloween 3.


----------



## paranoid marvin

Le Panda du Mal said:


> I’m referring to the terrible Nicolas Cage vehicle from 2012. I actually really like Halloween 3.




That makes sense. Tbh I don't think I would ever pay to see a movie with Nicolas Cage in it. Although he has been in some good movies, I'm struggling to think of any movie that he improved because of his presence.

Going back to H3, I know there was plenty of criticism at the time, probably because it was unfairly and unfavourably compared with Halloween 1 and 2. But I do find it an incredibly creepy movie with some pretty intense scenes.


----------



## Le Panda du Mal

I would say Nicolas Cage was essential to a few films he’s been in: eg Wild at Heart, Adaptation, Face/Off… and would anyone remember the Wicker Man remake without his performance?


----------



## BAYLOR

Le Panda du Mal said:


> I would say Nicolas Cage was essential to a few films he’s been in: eg Wild at Heart, Adaptation, Face/Off… and would anyone remember the Wicker Man remake without his performance?



I recommend his film *The Color of Space.*


----------



## therapist

I think I just watched the worst movie i've ever seen. *Top Gun (1986). *

The new sequel is getting extremely high ratings and rave reviews, so I decided I need to see it. And therefore decided to watch the original for the first time. Normally I would turn off a film like this, but sat through it so I could watch the sequel.
I found it excrutiatingly boring. The plot was non existant, the pacing too slow, and I couldn't care about any of the characters. The climactic action scene was a random fight against anonymous villains with no motive, then the film ends with him kissing his girl even though their relationship had already been secured half way through the film.
The only reason this film is popular is because there are fighter jets.


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## Le Panda du Mal

I too found Top Gun very boring the last time I tried to watch it. And I can sit through Tarkovsky's Solaris.


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## Draoighir

The first that popped into my mind was *The Gate II: Trespassers*. I watched it Turkish dubbed, so it might be a translation fail. If not, there's something extremely dumb there that I cannot stomach. (See the spoiler below.)


Edit: my "spoiler" does not show. Perhaps because I don't have enough posts yet?

I have many "worst movie ever"s by the way.


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## Octavius Megano

*Pain & Gain* . . . 

I like movies from both leads (Wahlberg and Dwayne Johnson), but this . . . I remember leaving the theater questioning the life decisions that led me there. 

Nicholas Cage movies are definitely a guilty pleasure of mine . . . but *Mandy* - my god, awful. Though I would recommend seeing *Willy's Wonderland* . . . so ridiculously stupid, it's good.


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## Nerdicus

I really enjoyed Mandy. But how has no one brought up the masterpiece of trash Morbius in this thread?

I also really enjoyed The Color Out of Space.


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## Guttersnipe

The Animal (2001) with Rob Schneider has to be one of the worst comedy films.

Any Neil Breen movie.


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## JunkMonkey

Mouse said:


> *Skyline*. Even mum's declaration at the end of the film (credits rolling as I type) was 'There. Bloody old crap.' Sums it up, I think.



I wish I'd remembered this post before I sat down to watch the thing.  Gordon Bennet! what a pile of poo!

There was a sequel! _Beyond Skyline_ which is, apparently, 'set concurrently with the events of the first film' and is, by all accounts, better than the original (though that is not saying much)  - sadly I own a copy. Antonio Fargas is in it.  

And there's a threequel!, _Skylines _(stylized as _SKYLIN3S_, and also known as _Skyline 3_) was released in 2020.


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## Mouse

JunkMonkey said:


> I wish I'd remembered this post before I sat down to watch the thing.  Gordon Bennet! what a pile of poo!


I have no recollection of the film, so must've been good!


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## BAYLOR

Mouse said:


> *Skyline*. Even mum's declaration at the end of the film (credits rolling as I type) was 'There. Bloody old crap.' Sums it up, I think.



The sad part is it actually had potential.


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## BAYLOR

biodroid said:


> Twilight, and I treat the whole series as one big movie, the biggest load of cow pat my wife ever dragged me to watch.



In few years , they will reboot series and it will be even worse.


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## BAYLOR

JunkMonkey said:


> There speaks someone who has never seen _Zombie Women of Satan_
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Zombie Women of Satan (2009) - IMDb
> 
> 
> Zombie Women of Satan: Directed by Steve O'Brien, Warren Speed. With Victoria Hopkins, Warren Speed, Christian Steel, Seymour Leon Mace. A travelling group of freaks, headed up by Pervo the Clown, go to a rural farm to take part in a webcast interview to help them gain more followers and make...
> 
> 
> 
> 
> www.imdb.com



Whats truly terrifying is,  somebody actual thought this was a good idea for movie .


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## JunkMonkey

BAYLOR said:


> Whats truly terrifying is,  somebody actual thought this was a good idea for movie .



Loved this from one of the reviews on IMDb:



> I am from Newcastle upon Tyne...
> 
> ... and can I just apologise to the world for anyone who unluckily stumbled across this 'film'! I would like to apologise on behalf of Newcastle, the North-East of England and just the United Kingdom in general!


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## JunkMonkey

BAYLOR said:


> The sad part is it actually had potential.



All of which were made up as a kit of parts from other movies and TV series.
Obvious 'influences' I thought about while watching: the harvesting aliens were The Wraith from _Stargate Atlantis _driving the semi organic looking robots from the _Matrix _movies which arrived in the Bloody Big Ships with Huge Shadows we have grown to know and love from_ V, Independence Day, Childhood's End_ etc.. 
The film also had that cheap 1950's morality that I thought 'Hollywood'  was growing out of.  Cheap laughs at gay characters. The 'slut' - she is referred to as that in the film - being one of the first to die - followed by the only black character.  (The fact that he was the most _believable_ and sympathetic character, played by the best actor in the film didn't help the proceedings.) They even managed to squeeze in 'the character getting themselves killed trying to rescue the pet' moment - happily (for once) the pet got eaten too which was probably the only novel moment in the whole script.  Sadly the little yapping dog didn't get eaten on screen.


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## psychotick

Hi,

Can't remember if I've posted this before in this thread and can't be bothered going through 32 pages, but it has to be Highlander 2 closely followed by Highlander 3. In their own right these would both be terrible movies, but as sequels to Highlander - one of the best movies ever - they are complete obscenities!

I'd also like to give a dis-honorable  mention to the final episode of Enterprise even though its not a movie, where the producers obviously decided that they should just give a giant middle finger to the fans!

Cheers, Greg


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## JunkMonkey

psychotick said:


> Can't remember if I've posted this before in this thread


you had



			https://www.sffchronicles.com/search/186412/


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## BAYLOR

Starbeast said:


> *Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band* (still #1 worst film I've seen)
> 
> *More Bad Cinema
> __________________________________________________________
> Trail of the Pink Panther
> Son of the Pink Panther
> Americathon
> Little Miss Sunshine
> Supernova
> Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold
> Waterworld
> Scorpion King
> The Dark
> Road to Hong Kong
> The Outsiders
> Raw Deal
> Little Big Man
> Highlander 2
> Tang & Cash
> Legal Eagles
> The Bee Movie
> Aladdin 2
> Green Hornet
> Rising Sun
> Over the Top
> The Color of Money
> Ratboy
> Godfather 3
> Stroker Ace
> Cannonball Run 2
> X-Files 2
> Batteries Not Included
> Thunderbirds
> Cat Woman
> The Road to El Dorado
> The Quest
> Smokey and the Bandit 2 & 3*
> 
> That's enough for now, I'm getting a headache.



A Titanic list of worthy cinema Turkeys.


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## BAYLOR

SevenStars said:


> A tie between Battlefield Earth and Spiceworld....Both dire



The one thing in *Spiceworld's *favor was that it that it ,may have been a factor in the demise of the Spice Girls popularity .


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## BAYLOR

TWErvin2 said:


> _Message from Space,_ from the late 1970s.
> 
> Some sort of Star Wars type ripoff, with horrible acting, horrible plot line and the special effects...while they could be cheesy in a good way, weren't.



*Message from Space *not good ??!!!!  Preposterous !  Vic Morrow was in that film and he did do bad films. !


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## Starbeast

I'm another fan of _Message From Space._ I saw it in the theater. I remembered the audience laughed at how ridiculous it was. However everyone applauded when it ended and chatted about it with smiles on their faces. 

BTW, there was a TV show based off the movie titled, _Message From Space: Galactic Wars. _I'm curious to see it, but it's probably severely outdated.






Recently I watched a horrifically directed flick, called *The Dragon Lives Again* (1977). Basically, when Bruce Lee died, he was sent to Hell. Bruce battles his way back to Earth by defeating Dracula, mummies, skeleton men, Clint Eastwood, James Bond and more.





He has help from Popeye, Cain from the Kung Fu TV series, plus a few more.




​The movie could have been better, if only it wasn't slap together so tremendously poorly. It's so bad, it's shockingly bad. However, it is the first time Popeye is in a live action movie.


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## Vladd67

Given his history with the role, Bruce Lee being helped by Caine is in dubious taste.


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## Starbeast

Vladd67 said:


> Given his history with the role, Bruce Lee being helped by Caine is in dubious taste.


Great point. I forgot about how much it bothered Bruce Lee that he did not get the part of Caine in Kung Fu.

The show would have been exceedingly better with the amazing martial arts of Bruce Lee.


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## Starbeast

Bick said:


> I have not seen it, but if anyone else can shed light on the qualification of _The Giant Spider Invasion_ (1975) for this thread, I would be most interested.
> 
> View attachment 85406


It's true that it isn't a great film, but I do enjoy this outrageous flick because it is laughable. I especially like the Mystery Science Theater 300 riff on it.


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## Vladd67

Wasnt that he didn't get the role as much as the series was his idea.


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## Starbeast

Vladd67 said:


> Wasnt that he didn't get the role as much as the series was his idea.


Once again you reminded me of what really bothered Mr Lee. Thanks man. I haven't had coffee or breakfast yet. I better lumber out of here before I make another mistake.


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