# Is the Art of Conversation Dead?



## Astro Pen (Mar 28, 2020)

Back in the 80's I used to spend many hours in conversation with friends about art, astrophysics, books, economics, travel and myriad other things. 
But I am  just thinking how few people I can enjoy a decent conversation with these days. These fora excepted of course. 
Nearly everyone  just spouts stupid wise cracks, political platitudes, cliches, and  football. They won't go any deeper than the mist on a window! 
I feel like one of those Russian dissidents who were put in lunatic asylums to destroy their minds. 
Anyone else find this? Or do I just need to throw away the books, buy knee length trousers and retrain as a chav?


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## Stephen Palmer (Mar 28, 2020)

I find talking with women means I never have to listen to a word about bloody football.


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## Astro Pen (Mar 28, 2020)

Stephen Palmer said:


> I find talking with women means I never have to listen to a word about bloody football.


Agree. Nearly all my friends these days are women. It wasn't a conscious effort, just a sort of relentless gentle gravity.


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## Stephen Palmer (Mar 29, 2020)

Likewise!


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## nixie (Mar 29, 2020)

Our Northern meets, are conversational masterpieces.
I'm sure the Southern ones are too.


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## Rodders (Mar 29, 2020)

I don't really know anyone that's into Science Fiction, so most conversations tend to be about other people's interests, and yes, Stephen is right, so much football and sport. But I find people's passion to always be interesting. 

Mobile technology is a super distraction now days. 

Conversation isn't so difficult with friends, but making friends when you get older is difficult and striking up a conversation with people outside of your normal social circle is tough. Everyone appears to wants to be absolutely right, (even dominant) in any conversation now. 

The Chrons are a nice place to be, though and the people are always nice. Maybe conversation isn't dead, just electronic now.


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## -K2- (Mar 29, 2020)

Wut?

K2


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## Jo Zebedee (Mar 29, 2020)

You’ve obviously never spent a week in Ireland. We never shut up.


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## Astro Pen (Mar 29, 2020)

Jo Zebedee said:


> You’ve obviously never spent a week in Ireland. We never shut up.


Or the women here in Wales, reduced by law to shouting across to each other from their doorsteps instead of the usual gaggle on the corner by my house.  Eavesdropping by leaving the window cracked open a bit is a great source of local information


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## Montero (Mar 29, 2020)

I've definitely got friends where we manage conversation, and one whose family has parties and invites more people who have conversations. Party topics have included the difficulties of the house clearance business, geology in the mining area of Cornwall and the works of Terry Pratchett.
But yes on *****sport - and it isn't a new phenomenon, sport (especially football) and cars were the popular topic of conversation by the kettle at work decades ago. I would occasionally throw in the odd spanner, such as "anyone catch the welly wanging finals on the weekend?"
(For the baffled, here is a link - 



)

Or another useful sport is Cheese Rolling down Cooper's Hill


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## Brian G Turner (Mar 29, 2020)

This is why we have forums - so we can converse with interesting people we'd never normally meet.


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## AlexH (Mar 29, 2020)

*Tries to think of a wise crack about the art of conversation not being dead.*

*Fails.*


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## BAYLOR (Mar 29, 2020)

Stephen Palmer said:


> I find talking with women means I never have to listen to a word about bloody football.



Well bad news , im  new England patriots fan ! 

  No worries , I don't talk endlessly  about football or any sports. Im just having fun here.


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## Astro Pen (Mar 29, 2020)

AlexH said:


> *Tries to think of a wise crack about the art of conversation not being dead.*
> 
> *Fails.*


"Science fiction writer eh?  Look no furva than westminster for martians mate, did you see that envinement plonker on telly last night?
Fanks mate, mines a lager top. Anyway Villa done good against the 'ammers, ref was blind though, shoulda been a red card against Blobbio for that tackle."


FIFY


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## Elckerlyc (Mar 29, 2020)

I don't think the art of conversation is dead. It's just that when you get older it's more difficult to find someone you can feel comfortable with and have a decent conversation. 
You also get more wiser (well, some of us do. Not me.) When you were young you could solve all of the world problems in a single conversation with some friends that went on till the small hours. You would go to sleep satisfied that you had just together saved the world... until you woke up the next day, dull with a hangover and all the brilliant solutions forgotten. That art has gone lost with the years.
But a good conversation should still be possible, with the right company.
Most conversations I have these days is with myself.


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## Foxbat (Mar 29, 2020)

When I was working, we had a new start who happened to be into astronomy, various tech stuff and was doing an OU degree so we used to have some good lunchtime conversations. The rest of the guys would just yawn, roll their eyes and pretend to fall asleep when we got started. I still hear from him now and again via email but, not much other real life conversations like that. But as @Brian G Turner says, this is what this place is for


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## Alan Aspie (Apr 8, 2020)

Astro Pen said:


> But I am  just thinking how few people I can enjoy a decent conversation with these days.



A decent coversation needs to have at least 2 people with more attention span than a gold fish. 

And they both have other things to do.


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## Danny McG (Apr 8, 2020)

It does seem nowadays that long and involved conversations don't happen much.
i get sick of hearing:-
 "this person on Facebook/YouTube/ Twitter says blah blah, here look! I'll show you"


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## Elckerlyc (Apr 9, 2020)

A conversation implies listening to what the other is saying. A lost art and nowadays generally considered a waste of time anyway.


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## -K2- (Apr 10, 2020)

Elckerlyc said:


> A conversation implies listening to what the other is saying. A lost art and nowadays generally considered a waste of time anyway.



I'm sorry, did you say something? I was reading another post. Please feel free to start over, I'll be right with you 

K2


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## Elckerlyc (Apr 10, 2020)

-K2- said:


> I'm sorry, did you say something? I was reading another post. Please feel free to start over, I'll be right with you
> 
> K2


*sigh* Never mind, 't wasn't important. But what I said was: "Listen carefully. I will say this only once."


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## Wyld-Cat (Apr 15, 2020)

I think COVID-19 is turning us all into claustrophobic hermits  or maybe Solarians. ?  ?
Solarians = from, Isaac Asimov - The Naked Sun !


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## Alex The G and T (Apr 15, 2020)

Or as my ocean fishing buddy once said, "You're the only person I can stand to spend a whole day stuck on a boat with."


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## -K2- (Apr 15, 2020)

Alex The G and T said:


> Or as my ocean fishing buddy once said, "You're the only person I can stand to spend a whole day stuck on a boat with."



Ah, the strong silent type... 

K2


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## Alex The G and T (Apr 15, 2020)

Quite.  The comfortable silence. Not every minute has to be filled with chatter.

Lifelong, people have asked me, "Why are you so quiet all of the time?"

Because, when I speak, you better know that I have something to say.


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## Simbelmynë (Apr 16, 2020)

I agree that longer, involved conversations seem hard to come by. I actually try to bring up a more engaging or complex topic of conversation when I’m out with friends - I do my best with the understanding I have at least - but often find people don’t want me to make my point properly, they want to jump right in with their response, then move onto another topic as quickly as possible without taking a second to think about what I’ve said, or to examine either my point or their own any further. 

I’m not an intellectual or anything and my attention span is pretty bad, but it’s quite stifling to be cut off before you’ve had the chance to express or debate something, beyond throw away comments which only confirm the group’s political persuasions.

There are exceptions to this obviously, and I’m oversimplifying it, but this thread definitely resonates with me.


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## BAYLOR (Apr 26, 2020)

I saw Mr. Art Conversation last week and he looked fit as a fiddle . He was with his lovely wife Rhetoric and their two  children Oratory  and Podium . Podium does't talk much .


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## Ashley R (May 2, 2020)

Elckerlyc said:


> I don't think the art of conversation is dead. It's just that when you get older it's more difficult to find someone you can feel comfortable with and have a decent conversation.
> You also get more wiser (well, some of us do. Not me.) When you were young you could solve all of the world problems in a single conversation with some friends that went on till the small hours. You would go to sleep satisfied that you had just together saved the world... until you woke up the next day, dull with a hangover and all the brilliant solutions forgotten. That art has gone lost with the years.
> But a good conversation should still be possible, with the right company.
> Most conversations I have these days is with myself.



I agree with this.

It's a matter of age, but also of socialization. Some people never learnt to have deep conversations.

I remember being admonished for my questioning by a senior citizen who thought I must have been brought up in a family that liked to debate.

Nothing could be further from the truth, my family were the complete opposite, but here I am, asking questions, debating received wisdom.


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## paranoid marvin (May 2, 2020)

Yes.


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## scififan (May 17, 2020)

I think the Internet has impacted our conversations.  Kids are used to texting their school friends instead of talking to them in person.  Some people are more comfortable emailing or sending instant messages than they are with face-to-face conversations.   COVID-19 has also impacted conversations.  Everything is being done virtually now, including doctor's visits.


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