What's your favourite Jack quote?

[skoon]

I love all Jack sarcasm, do we have a term for this yet? Jack-asm? My current Jack quotes are

"Jaffa jokes? Let's hear on of them", and "So help me if I wake up and I'm singing soprano" (from Seth)

 

[Rowan]

Quotes - Humor

Okay... let's see...

[Seth] "Eunich? Like in snipity-do-dah?"

[Exodus] "We are *so* going down!"

[WoO] "I am going to lose it. Lose it. It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a happy meal...WACKO!"

[The Other Side] "Didn't I order you to get a life?"

[Spirits] Daniel, seeing Teal'c hold a zat gun at him: "Jack?"
O'Neill: "Daniel?"
Daniel: "Are you you?"
O'Neill: "Yeah. You?"
Daniel: "What?"
O'Neill: "Never mind."

[New Ground] "Hey, Rygar, you know that 'we come in peace' business? Bite me."

[The Devil You Know] "They put that damn memory thing on me. And then they gave me something that reminded me of the '70s."

[Divide and Concuer] "Excuse me! Do we, or do we not, have a xanax detector?" {Being a medical professional makes this line all the more hysterical. Xanax is a major tranqulizer. Valium's big brother.}

[Touchstone] "I'm more of a C-SPAN guy."

[Broca's Divide] "Lucy, I'm home!"

[Chain Reaction] "If it weren't for SG-1 you would be sat with a snake in your head instead of your head up your as..."

[Touchstone] "Oh, sure. Let's just put out an APB for a huge, honkin' two-story metal ring with 39 little pictures all nicely engraved on it."

[Bane] "Permission to beat the crap out of this guy?"

[Bane] "Maybourne: It's a court-martial offense to strike an officer."
Jack: "I'm not gonna hit you, Maybourne. I'm gonna shoot you."


That's it, for right now...

 

[skoon]

Man I love Jack quotes, I'm laughing to the point of my tummy hurting. How do you remember them all, I'd forgotten the Wacko quote. Of course ALL of WoO made me laugh.

Let's change this threat to, "write all the Jack quote you can think of". Let's have a "Jack-fest" It's a great stress reliever to laugh so much. I'll print this when it's done.

"General Hammond you old son of a b..." (1969)

"I was so looking forward to being on Oprah" (Emancipation)

"Ice tea. Airconditioning...Water" (The Devil You Know)

I'll have to go back to my tape for the exact wording for some quotes...

 

[ShelbyS]

"Okay, everybody with a snake in their head, raise their hand."
-The First Ones

 

[Arc_Angel]

Re: Quotes - Humor

Originally posted by Rowan
Okay... let's see...

[Seth] "Eunich? Like in snipity-do-dah?"

[Exodus] "We are *so* going down!"

[WoO] "I am going to lose it. Lose it. It means go crazy, nuts, insane, bonzo, no longer in possession of ones faculties, three fries short of a happy meal...WACKO!"

[The Other Side] "Didn't I order you to get a life?"

[Spirits] Daniel, seeing Teal'c hold a zat gun at him: "Jack?"
O'Neill: "Daniel?"
Daniel: "Are you you?"
O'Neill: "Yeah. You?"
Daniel: "What?"
O'Neill: "Never mind."

[New Ground] "Hey, Rygar, you know that 'we come in peace' business? Bite me."

[The Devil You Know] "They put that damn memory thing on me. And then they gave me something that reminded me of the '70s."

[Divide and Concuer] "Excuse me! Do we, or do we not, have a xanax detector?" {Being a medical professional makes this line all the more hysterical. Xanax is a major tranqulizer. Valium's big brother.}

[Touchstone] "I'm more of a C-SPAN guy."

[Broca's Divide] "Lucy, I'm home!"

[Chain Reaction] "If it weren't for SG-1 you would be sat with a snake in your head instead of your head up your as..."

[Touchstone] "Oh, sure. Let's just put out an APB for a huge, honkin' two-story metal ring with 39 little pictures all nicely engraved on it."

[Bane] "Permission to beat the crap out of this guy?"

[Bane] "Maybourne: It's a court-martial offense to strike an officer."
Jack: "I'm not gonna hit you, Maybourne. I'm gonna shoot you."


That's it, for right now...

These are all my favs as well, especially the Chain reaction one, I crack up all the time at that one

 

[Highlander II]

ditto on the chain reaction quote (i gotta go back and watch all these eps again -- sheesh)

i also like the line from New Ground (btw - i use 'bite me' all the time - but not b/c of Jack)

hmmm -- jack quotes --

"I like women. I've just got a little problem w/ scientists." (i just like the way RDA says this line - it's more of a 'back-peddal-out-of-this-hole-i've-just-run-into line than an insult, imo)

"Teal'c looked, I looked, it grabbed my head, I passed out, I came to, we're here, we're home, can we go?" (from The 5th Race - not sure on exact wording, but i think that's right)

oooh -- the best --

[Exodus] -- "Shotgun!" (as he leaps into chair)

later!!
H2

 

[Arc_Angel]

I use, "For crying out loud" a lot and "Ya think" I'm probably starting to annoy my friends

"What, so you can be the king of groundhog day!"

 

[spookypumpkin]

i just use any starg8 quote that i can fit in2 conversation...

« "Carter, if someone comes in here, you... bite him in the hand..." (Serpent’s lair)

« "Teal'c, look scary and take point..." (Prisoners)

« "Back through the gate to show them what their planet looks like... in our memories... before the virtual reality... leave me alone..." (Gamekeeper--- to Danny)

« "Surprisingly difficult to kill you, isn't it? " (Need --- 2 Danny)

« "You all know I take great pride in my title as Mr. Positive...." (Thor’s chariot)

« "Ah, that takes me back..." (Message in a bottle --- referring to 'when Neanderthals roamed the earth')

« "It's "O'Neill", with two L's. There's another Colonel O'Neill with only one L, and he has no sense of humour at all..." (Secrets --- to journalist)

« "General Hammond, request permission to beat the crap out of this man..." (Bane --- referring to Maybourne)

« "Carter, there are bugs on that planet. Big, huge, ugly, honkin' bugs!" (Bane)

« "Where's that yellow brick road when you need it, eh, Dorothy? " (Tok'ra --- 2 Sam, of course)

« "Okay, son. But I want you to have her back by 11:00, you understand? " (Tok’ra --- to Martouf --- referring to Sam)

« "Just as I would be..." (Secrets --- to carter --- 'be diplomatic')

« "We came here in peace, and we intend to go in one. Piece..." (Touchstone)

« "Let's just put out an A.P.B. for a huge, honkin', two-story metal ring with 39 little pictures all nicely engraved on it..." (Touchstone)

« "I don't know, Sir. You know me and computers..." (Fifth race--- reprogramming computer)

« "Shave my head?!?! Eeezh..." (Holiday --- to Teal'c)

« "Rumours, lies, fairy tales..." (One false step --- to Danny --- referring to mythology)

« "Try Roswell. Little place in New Mexico..." (Out of mind --- to Hathor --- 'where to contact the Asgard')

« "That UAV needs a swidt cick in the CPU..."

and , drumroll please,


""FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!""

 

[pamie]

Originally posted by Arc_Angel
I use, "For crying out loud" a lot and "Ya think" I'm probably starting to annoy my friends

I alway say for crying out loud..... I can't help it!!!
I always like it when Jack says "Teal'c has been making new friends"

Pam

 

[KatDonovan]

I really like this one:

General without meaning, this time, to sound like a smart@$$, are you cracked? (to Hammond in Gamekeeper)

 

[imported_Bee]

Yeah, sure, ya betcha!

 

[Rowan]

Jack-isms

Guess I've been in the military [and life] too long. I've used 'Fer Cryin' Out Loud!', 'Sweet', 'Peachy', and 'Good Morning', Campers' for as far back as I can remember.

 

[skoon]

"I don't even KNOW the words to row row... [row your boat] (Urgo)

Spoilers...
4th Season Jack-isms

"you run. Simulate. Let me know how it turns out. Keep me posted. Keep me apprised" (WoO)

"Hey if it was just me I'd agree, but what about Teal'c? Come on is this the face of a crazy man?...bad example" (WoO)

"I ask you what could possibly be in my EYE to explain this?" (WoO)

Jack: "she made a pass at me"
Dannyl: "Sam?"
Jack: "Anice,Fraya, one of them" (a Tok'ra & it's host)
Danny: "oh...that's odd"
Jack: "You're telling me. Odd timeing too don't you think"
Danny: "yes"
Jack: "aparently the snake likes you"
Danny: "really"
Long pause
Danny: "yup, these are the Jack O'Neill moments I think I'll miss the most"
Long pause
Jack: "What?"
Danny: "What?" (From Divide & Conquer)

"Maybe it will help Carter, her brain's worth a lot more than mine (Divide & Conquer)

"I'm Jack, it means...what's in the box?" (Upgrade)

"Ah, little problem here sir, having a hard time complying" (Upgrade)

Danny: "it's not like we haven't defied orders before"
Sam: "ya but that was to save Earth"
Jack: "Earth, steaks, there's a difference?"

 

[Highlander II]

okay - this isn't really a quote - more of an amusing scene -
from Tangent -- Jack has just been 'bumped' out of his O2-deprived stupor and he's asked if Teal'c is okay - and he throws something and hits Teal'c in the head -- (i know he says something, just can't remember what) it's soooo funny --

quotes, quotes, quotes ----- hmmmmmmmm

"I ask you, what could possibly be in my eye that would explain any of this?" -- to Dr. Frasier in Window of Opportunity


H2

 

[Rowan]

'Tangent"

I believe it's "Hey... you awake?"

 

[Highlander II]

Re: 'Tangent"

Originally posted by Rowan
I believe it's "Hey... you awake?"

i think so too - -but the quote isn't as funny as Jack throwing stuff at Teal'c - like he's 5 yrs old -- it was amusing -- :rolly2:

hmmmm -- i can't think of any more ---- 'cept -
"Not waving... pointing." (and it's soooo much more effective w/ RDA's vocal inflection -- (just watched Chain Reaction last night - only the 2nd time i've seen it)

H2

 

[Rowan]

Jack ...

Oh yeah. Jack, a little CO2 poisoning, a feww dead brain cells from minimal O2.

A serious 5 year old flashblack.

 

[Highlander II]

Re: Jack ...

Originally posted by Rowan
Oh yeah. Jack, a little CO2 poisoning, a feww dead brain cells from minimal O2.

A serious 5 year old flashblack.

hehehe --

then, there's the Serpent's Venom where he's just sitting there doing nothing, until they realize they need him to fly the ship so Selmac can fix it while Daniel and Sam are playing w/ the mine -- he gets that 5 yr old look on his face that says 'oh cool! i get to play w/ the big kids toys!'

H2

 

[Rowan]

Old saying

As my Mom used to say: "The only difference between men and boys are the price of their toys."

Jack sure fits sometimes. Of course... Daniel gets to play in a pretty big sandbox...

 

[KatDonovan]

LOL

No kidding there!!

I like this quote, not sure what epi its from tho, think Broca Divide but *shrug*

"Daniel, you dog. Keep this up and you'll have a girl on every planet."