Epix (U.S. pay tv network) has brought in a lot of old, odd movies. Some good (several AIP flicks like Comedy of Terrors) , some ...
1000 Convicts and a Woman (1971)
Pretty much what you'd expect from the title. A bit of toplessness, a couple of tepid sex scenes, a lot of male gaze, some oddball male morality about a young girl and her daddy issues -- pop is a prison governor -- and surprisingly good acting (not great, but professional) for such cheap exploitation hogwash. Checking IMDB, several of the lead actors had pretty good film/tv careers, including the young woman, an American (that was a surprise) actress.
X-Ray (1982)
Sometimes you come across a lost genre gem, a horror movie tapping into the illogical nature of nightmares.
This isn't that.
Starring Barbi Benton of Playboy fame, it's a slasher taking place in the worst administrated hospital since Halloween II. It starts with ~11 year old Barbi and boy friend playing with a train set on Valentine's Day. Another boy, Harold, peeks in the window, leaves a Valentine's Day card at the door and knocks, and is so upset when he sees Barbi's friend laugh at it and crumple it up that he invades the house and kills the boy while Barbi's in the kitchen wielding a butchers knife on a massive Valentine's Day cake. This is an obvious attack on lax parenting in the '80s; I mean, who makes a cake that large and leaves it around for just a couple of kids?
Nineteen years later, an older Barbi goes to the hospital for information on her latest check up. A mysterious man kills her physician before Barbi can meet with her and switches Barbi's x-rays -- Ah! That's why the title! -- with those of someone whose intestines look like a lumpy anaconda. From there several nurses, doctors, secretaries and technicians are murdered without security noticing, Barbi is subjected to another physical exam because Playboy, everyone refuses to give her information on her condition while all but tying her down to her bed -- actually, they do tie her down at one point because she gets all hysterical about someone murdering people, the silly, emotional woman -- all leading to her being chased through the hospital by her assailant, the grown up Harold.
All but two of the male actors are plank-stiff and if Benton isn't good she also isn't really bad. She had a kinda cheerleader/pin-up charm that worked in certain roles, but she's sunk here by script and direction. There are indications this was written as a comedy, as with three older female patients commenting on her health and who appear to be knock offs of MacBeth's witches, or when Benton barges into a room screaming for help only to find three guys wrapped like mummies and all in traction.
I really should try to ferret out some of the better movies.
I managed to the end. It didn't get any better.
