First Lines

(It may look like fun now, Mattastic, but very soon it becomes .... obsessive!)


A tingling sensation: that's how he remembers it, how it started; something like anticipation in the pit of his belly; something like the taste of sin on his tongue; something that errupted like a volcano from his soul and destroyed half a world two galaxies away.

"I hate when that happens," he murmured.
 
As the United Federation Starship "Dove of Peace" closed for battle, Captain Kajual Frottage flicked on the intercom to speak to the Engine Room.

"Bridge to Engine Room. We are closing on the three Dangerous Foreigner Class enemy star fighters. We will unleash our Democracy Missiles and then immediately make the jump into hyperspace so as to avoid pursuit and certain death at the hands of much larger and better armed craft. Request confirmation that the Hyperdrive is now fully operational."

"Confirmed, Captain" crackled the reply. "Standing by for your orders."

***************************************************

Down in the Engine Room, Chief Mechanic Jock MacScotsman flicked off the intercom and turned to Hapless Dave.

"It is all fixed, isn't it?"

"Yup".

"And you put it all back together again?"

"Yup. But there was a bit left over."
 
Suddenly, and with unexpected surprising alacrity, Howard dove into the huge meat grinder, leaving the shocked children to wipe the blood from their Sunday School outfits as a wave of mouth-watering, pork-like scent, wafted carefully to their cute little scarlet splattered noses.
 
There it was. Just as he had expected it. Just exactly as .... actually, it wasn't. Something had changed. Something .... was wrong.
 
"Explain. Now."

Mr Frenton squinted above silver wire glasses at his boss and coughed nervously, wishing he had worn a tie. How did one explain such an incident, he wondered, without sounding utterly demented?
 
There are some things you don't ... you just don't want to talk about. Things like bodily functions, no one really wants to talk about those to anyone but their doctor, end even then ... Things like their stamp collections, or postcards or whatever, nobody thinks anyone else would be interested. Things like ... well, like her. Nobody has ever talked about her. Not until ...

Not until now ...
 
"Excellent," I said, "put it over there."

I'd waited so long for this. And now here it was and life was about to get a whole lot more peaceful around here ... I just knew it.
 
Trapped. I have been trapped in this hole for forty two days, 3 hours, 6 minutes and 3 seconds and I have given up hope. This is my story.
 
This was bad. Surrounded by lions. Long, maliciously sharp teeth and wicked claws on all sides. Every pair of bestial eyes centred on me. There was only one thing I could do.

Put my head between my legs and cry like a baby.
 
I like that one, Hoopy!:)


In spite of everything, I still wanted to go through with it. We'd come this far, after all, and to turn back now would be a complete waste.
 
[A-thank you!]


Looking through the window of the escape ship at the burning remains of the Earth, I guess all this started when I found that weird green mold behind my fridge...
 
If I'd been told not to touch it once, I'd been told a thousand times.

Still, no-one actually told me why it wasn't a good idea; they'd just said "Don't you ever touch it, Stanford. Remember what happened to your sister!". And as I was three years old when my sister was sent away, that wasn't really a lot of help.

Still, I figured, just touching it couldn't do that much harm...

Could it...?
 
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