Character Creation Chain

[J Riff]

Hamstead the Magnificent

The much-lauded street magician Hamstead was born in, curiously, Hamstead North Carolina, where he resides to this day. A small man, and weedy, the shriveled prestidigitator nonetheless looms large in the hearts of the townspeople of Hamstead. His ability to produce pigeons from beneath his battered hat is beyond compare. He regularly earns more than the town's Mayor, especially so now that he has dropped the juggling of ten flaming gerbils from his act, a display that tended to alarm the children and cause mobs of villagers to form outside of his house.

MELVIN MAGNIFICO

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Any adult who is foolish enough to wander into Papa Pepperoni's Pizza Parlor Playroom is likely to suffer multiple bruises from the horde of screeching toddlers running around the place like hyperactive chimps. If the visitor is fortunate enough to survive this initial onslaught with minimal wounds, the next challenge to be faced is Melvin Magnifico, the restaurant's mascot. Consisting of an animatronic skeleton obtained from a low orbit disneyland that went broke and a cheap holographic projector that creates random illusions, this terrifying apparition has been known to send more than one person above kindergarten age running for the door. Imagine a creature well over two meters high, shifting from giant rat to spider to frog to less describable forms, and shouting in an ear-shattering bass "I'm Melvin, and I love you!" Needles to say, PPPPP is a smashing success with the under-six crowd.

____________________________________________________________

Felice Saunders

 

[BenSt]

Felice Saunders, bane of Intersolar MegaConglomerates. Eco activist operating out of the Io Colony, Saunders began her career in the infamous Titan Standoff, when Federal forces clashed with protesters blocking a toxic-waste convoy heading for dumping on Jupiter. In 2464, Saunders accepted a position as an Associate Professor at the Colonial University, Io Campus teaching environmental studies. In her off time, Felice has been involved in various major undercover operations for the news media to shed light on gross violations of Intersteller conventions. In one of these undercover adventures she spent over two days in captivity at the headquarters of the now defunct corportation, Jelkorps.

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Tro-Narg Femlor

 

[Alex The G and T]

Tro-Narg Femlor

Slag King of the Perilous Pit. Demi-Gorgon of the Fiery Furnace. Visage locked in an immutable grimace. Scraggy toothed, hooked nosed, with a perpetual smut under his wispy goatee.

Hell hath no fury as Tro-Narg Femior faced with a shortage of lithesome virgins destined to be cast into the smoking cauldrons of molten Lava.

Non-believers suggest that his vile temperament might be ameliorated if he would consider a less bombastic, more cooperative, less abusive, more meaningful relationship with his cringing virgins.

**
Rudolphino Valentinius

 

[BenSt]

Rudolphino Valentinius, the younger lesser known brother of Santa Clause. Following in the footsteps of his famous elder brother, Valentinius tried to become the spirit of Valentines Day. One Valentines Day eve he went around visiting families, but instead of leaving Valentines gifts, unfortunately decided to leave buns in too many ovens! Cupid was mortified and the Great Stork became overworked, thus Rudolphino was banned from participtaing ever again in Valentines day. So, good old Rudolphino, never to be put down and egged on by his jolly old brother decided to become the Spirit of Guy Fawkes Night. Thus he came to embody the magical spirit of lighting a huge bonfire and burning an effigy of a terrorist. So when the village or town congregates to remember, remember...the fifth of November. Look around very carefully, you may see Rudolphino nibbling on a cold banger, handing out sparklers to kiddies.

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President Laura T. Deville Jr.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

President Laura T. Deville Jr. frowned at the holographic projections of the members of her cabinet. None of them had chosen to remain in Washington during the crisis. Instead, they cowered in their nuke-safe bunkers, hidden in various remote locations throughout the fifty-two states. "Ladies, gentlemen, and AI's," she said loudly, hoping to be heard over the alien weapons exploding over the White House force field, "this nation faces its greatest challenge in nearly two and one-half centuries. Do we continue to oppose what appear to be overwhelming forces attacking us, or do we extend health care benefits to extraterrestrials?"

_____________________________________________________________

Niccolo Salpiari

 

[Mr Orange]

My fingers drummed on the table and I frowned as I regarded the i-file hovering in the air in front of me. Niccolo Salpiari, Captain Second Class (formerly First Class) of the Scoutship Ortega. A maverick and a rogue, but one of the best pilots we had. Rumours were he used the hold in his Imperial ship for smuggling from time to time. And then there was the reason for his demotion; the fiasco on Magellan 5. That had cost a lot to appease the Princess's father.

But, still, he was the only one good enough and brave (or stupid) enough for what I had in mind.

I sighed and pressed a button on my desk. The i-file disappeared. "Send him in." I growled.

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Jonny Nagasaki

 

[Remedy]

I remember Jonathan Naggs - what a character. We used to call him Jonny Nagasaki.

Why Nagasaki? you ask. It was his voice - that boom you heard from down the road, even before he entered the room you occupied, it approached like a relentless stampede. A voice that made vases tremble to the edge of a mantle piece and a laugh that threatened to explode from his lips at such a speed it would break the sound barrier, only louder. Then it was his presence, like radiation contamination, the effects of his being hung in the room long after he had departed. Weeks later, everyone was still speaking of his visit... Jonny Nagasaki.
___________________

Nubabix-875

 

[Mr Orange]

blechh! dis-gustin'! Nubabix-875 is what they call 'em.... those 'orrible little biscuits that dissolve into slush as soon as the nurses pour that synthetic milk on 'em. 'cept they still move, even when they're slush. you can just see the little nano-thingees makin' waves on the surface. the nurses say they'll fix the infection inside us, make us right. i don't reckon we're wrong tho'. this lot'll go under the bed like the rest. i ain't eatin' robots, no matter how small, and those tin-can nurses can't make me!

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The Grand Mage of Shantarai, Miss Ruby McGee

 

[farntfar]

Well, Possums? Ruby Mcgee had known she'd end up Grand Mage since she'd been at school with her lifelong friend (and now dogsbody) Madge.
She'd strut about, with her gladiolus shaped staff, giving the benefit of her considerable wisdom to anyone who asked for it; and also to pretty well anyone else who didn't.
Grand Mage and little Madge they called themselves.

They'd been playing this ridiculous charade for 30 years now, waiting for the moment when Madge could come back out of hiding.

_____________________________________________________________________

DOM PORTHRIGHT

 

[BenSt]

Knight of the Holy Kingdom of Kleinburg-Olddstadt. Sir Dom as he was known to both friends and enemies was born a simple lad in the adjacent Kingdom of the Vadrians. Overcoming struggle after struggle, Sir Dom became the squire of the roaving Mad Knight of Centrevale Forest. Along with the Mad Knight, Dom succesfully rescued the princess Grlda from the clutches of the apostate King Francis of the Vadrians and was fully knighted by the Bishop of Porthright. He became a member of the Order of the Holy Dove and annointed before the reliquary of Saint Berga. Despite these high honours, upon the death of The Mad Knight, Sir Dom took up residence in Centrevale in a humble keep overlording 300 tenants with his wife.

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John Bristol

 

[Remedy]

To look at him, you would never know John Bristol was a mind-pilf. He tipped his hat to the ladies and gave a firm handshake to the gents. His eyes never told you that he could, would and just did, access your thoughts through his Tele-organic hacking. Sure his smile was warm when you came face to face, but the instant your eyes flicked somewhere else, his sly grin made its stealthy appearance - he had you, all of you. The Bristol Blackmail would be soon to follow.


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Bishop Maithe

 

[Mr Orange]

Bishop Maithe was angry. No, he was furious. That damned soldier that was meant to be safeguarding him had gone. Now there was nobody infront of him. Nothing between him and the enemy lines. He frowned as hesquinted against the dappled glare from the marble floor. The white army acrossthe battlefield looked back with calm, implacable stares. The Bishop’s angerfaded to apprehension, then fear. He swallowed nervously and smoothed down his long black robes. He wanted to run, to leave the lines. But he couldn’t. The black line could not be broken. His king must be protected. Adjusting his tall,black mitre, he glanced down the line.

In the moment of indecision before the battle he remembered,as he always did, a past life. Dim and far away, it was a life of happiness. A life before he had chosen to be a Bishop in the King’s army. Then a moment of clarity. He hadn’t chosen. He had been taken. Promised a life of pleasure inthe court. And now he was the violent plaything of the royals. The petrified king in the lines was not even the real king. He was as much a victim as Maithe.

He wouldn’t fight. Not this time! But then, as always the murmured words in his ear, urging him on.

“Bishop to A6”

A gap opened up in front of him and the spell was cast. TheBishop’s blood warmed and battle lust flooded his chest. He strode diagonallythrough the Pawns in front.






Dalphinius Macrometia

 

[Remedy]

HAHA Brilliant Mr O. you lured me in right up to the dialogue that revealed it. Is it possible to feel gullible and pleased at the same time?

"A walking fortress, a giant breathing oak he was! Dalphinius Macrometia stood another man's height above all men. His muscles which looked like bursting corn sacks, easily carried him and his half-foot thick armour onto the battlefield. He needed no horse, his girth would've require some non-existent monster steed anyway, his strides brought him swiftly to the enemy's toe line. Soldiers surging behind in his wake often stopped completely, dumbfounded in awe - watching the mountainous warrior end man after man in single blows. He needed not sword nor spear, not axe nor club... Gauntlet covered fists were all it took... SMASH! SMASH! SMA..."

"Honey? - I asked you to get the chicken out 5 minutes ago. Here give me those oven gloves, I'll do it."
_________________________

Hannah Trune

 

[BenSt]

Hannah Trune, also known as the 'With of Groghag Hill." Hannah was born in the village to the Parish priest and his wife, Maggie. Growing up in the village did not suit Hannah, who was bigger and brighter than some of the lads, and she was often found wandering alone in the woods. As she grew, whispers were circulated about Hannah's midnight activities, but nothing negetive was ever outrightly said. Parents were wary of young Hannah, but the children loved her, for Hannah was always available to give them little treats when their parents wouldn't let them. On more than one occasion young girls in the village owed their first kisses to Hannah's potions, carefully slipped into the ale jug of their beloveds. When Hannah's father died, her mother remarried and moved. Hannah, who hated the new man, decided to stay on in the village of her birth and built an isolated shack on the outskirts. Villagers both loved and feared her, and generally left Hannah to herself. Then a day came when Hannah would again become a favourite of the villagers, for a local Giant began terrorizing merchants and shepherds, until Old Hannah Trune cast a spell turning him into stone. Even now, years after her death, on windy days when the thunder rolls over the hillsides people say "there goes Old Hannah Trune."

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A Horlack

 

[Mr Orange]

“Mummy, what’s a Horlack?”

The bedclothes on the old cast iron bed in the corner of the room rustled at the young girl’s question and there was a harsh, hacking laugh.

“A whore lacks a good man between her-”

“Grandad! Quiet! Now Petunia, I’ve told you about Horlacks before.”

“Tell me again Mummy.”

“A Horlack is a being from the mountains. They stand 10 feet tall, with long, blue, shaggy hair over their entire body. Their ears are long and floppy, and they have curling horns on their heads, like sheep. They have huge noses and beady little black eyes. Their big fat lips hide very sharp,black teeth. And they are always angry.”

“Why are they angry?” Fear crept into Petunia’s voice.

“Because,” Her mother replied sternly, “They hate naughty boys and girls. It’s the Horlack’s job to come down from the mountains and punish bad children. And that makes them angry.”

The girl swallowed hard and glanced nervously towards her bedroom, where the bloody dagger lay beneath her bed.

Outside the quaint, stone cottage, Horlacks gathered in the forest.

______________________________________________



2564/103B

 

[Remedy]

2564 was the year it was made. The second number was its issue number. The letter after the numbers, designated the robot's programming. 'A' was for an assistant (a general multitasking aid bot). 'B' was for the butler bot (primarily a household aid). 'C' was a limited range chauffeur bot (much cheaper, but only programmed for transport).

2564/103B is the most famous of the 25-64's. This particular butler bot overrode its own programming. 103B did not do anything sinister like murder its owners or plot world domination. The reason that 103B is so fascinating, is that it broke out of it's "recharge time" at night, in order to watch entertainment shows on television - seemingly having a genuine appreciation for popular culture and satire. Also, it did not want to be caught.

2564/103B is now so famous, that it has signed multiple book deals and is represented by a human agent. Apparently 103B resides in a luxury storage unit, where the walls are made entirely out of television screens.

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Ember Thermil

 

[BenSt]

A salamander found inside the sacred fire. For many years after Thermil's birth, she slept in the sacred fire, warming any who approached. The priests knew she was an important omen, for Salamanders rarely stayed around. Carefully, they would play with her as she drowsily snoozed inside the hearth. As the years went by, she began to grow until she became in effect the guardian of the Inner Sanctum. Thermil learned the ancient language of the scriptures and conversed with the priests, watching as they performed their daily offices and bonded in particular with the aged High Priest. As she grew, she took on a more human form, and could be seen dazzling and lighting the inner sanctum.

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Jonar Klaus

 

[J Riff]

JONAR KLAUS c. 1739-1784
Little-known collector of earlier elven Pictish armor, leggings in particular, Jonar is overshadowed by the war crimes attributed to his viscious and burly brothers Kyrhhonius, Gveredrakl, Festonio, Brutalico and his cousins
Swordaak, Hakkemohv, and many others.
Jonar's collections of the smaller-sized armor platings of the by-now-legendary elf-Picts of the mythical times were routinely pillaged by his savage swarms of relatives, who then employed the precious metals in patching up their own damaged gear.
The lot of them died mysteriously, in a horrible lightning storm of immense proportion, the like of which has not been seen since - as had been predicted - by an ancient Pictish legend, the legend of a curse, known only to Jonar, who survived to write several successful mystery novellas of the time, predicting the end of the world due to an ancient Pictish curse, which is all we know of Jonar today - a simple legendary Pictish armor-and-curse specialist and hack writer of an earlier time, a simpler time, when men were brutal and curses were mighty scary.

Grimalkskin Malignifogia

 

[BenSt]

Verga politician of the Frotsland colony. Great writer and chronicler of the Verga sagas and instrumental in bringing the old religion back. Born in Oldend to a thralled family of the local Duke, Grimalkskin was trained in the local Covenant Monastery. Learning is his letters and a good deal of philosophy by the monks there, Grimalkskin was introduced to both forms of Verga religious life. Fascinated by the old legends of Inolf and his sons Join and Olfsten, Grimalkskin volunteered to join the new colony on the far off island of Frotsland. Once there he became instrumental in reigniting old beliefs in the worship of Inolf and created one of the first contemporaries chronicles of the old legends, The Very Poetic Inofstamall. Known as a good man, but with one weakness, almost a quarter of the current population of Frotsland can trace their descent back to him.

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Sly Billy, Slick Billy... Billy the ******* Maker!