Discussing the Writing Challenges -- November and December 2010

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re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Congratulations Hoops!

After reading Precise Caliber's and Ursa's detailed descriptions, it is very clear that I am missing a lot in these stories.

(Parson wonders about the time it would take to do such a complicated work as those two, and decides he'd have to retire to try it.)

Anyway.... I believe now is the time for the stories that we didn't post. So I'll post mine giving credit for the idea to the judge, but taking all blame for its' execution. (No, Ursa, no pun intended!)

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He was a prince. He had it all: wealth, health, respect, and youth. Still, something was missing. He would find it. He would purchase it. He began his life quest.

He found a teacher, a healer of great power. The bargaining began: “Teacher, what must I do to have life?” The teacher spoke sadly; he knew the young man’s heart: “Go, sell it all, follow me, and you will have life.” Broken-hearted he walked away.
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

HoopyFrood said:
Holy crud, 272 entries? Let's bag 'em, put them in an anthology and sell it! We can all get rich off it.

Those who have posted more stories get a higher percentage of the money, of course!

It'll be an incentive.
Click to expand...

Teresa: Is this really as daft as it sounds ?
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

chrispenycate said:
My list still shows Teresa as having votes every month; where did I miss out this time?
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Harebrain is right -- none the first month (have just re-checked).

Mouse said:
And TJ, you sound like you should be a TV voice over or something! :D
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My new career beckons...

Parson said:
So I'll post mine giving credit for the idea to the judge
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A nice story, Parson, and I do prefer it to the one you posted, but I'm flummoxed as to how I was the inspiration for it... hang on... I'm not the prince, am I?! :eek: (Checks attributes, and...er... attributes: wealth... in my dreams; health... currently hobbling on crocked foot; respect... ha ha; youth... double, nay triple, ha ha!)


PS TEiN -- yes. :p
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Also, I got so wrapped up in explaining things that I plum forgot to congratulate Hoopy. Bad PC, bad!

Congrats to Hoop, set us a nice theme for October!
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Ursa major said:
The setting was a large town in the midlands, probably no later than the early 1970s. The concept was of a time traveller being there, looking for a place where sins were invented. The far future had (or will have) few facts about earlier times and what they do have is stored electronically. Those who do not wish people to travel back in time - because of the dangers of affecting their present - corrupted the records to make time travel pointless. No-one could bring books back - who knows what the consequences might be - and because of dependence on AI systems, their memories are poor. (Okay, I've just added this very last bit. :))

Now to the wordplay:

The main hidden feature was the subject: The Severn-Dudley Sins. I thought I gave pretty specific clues that it was Dudley: somewhere in the Black Country but (uniquely) also in an exclave of Worcestershire (before the 1970s council reorganisations). The river Severn was mentioned specifically. The other puns were based on the file corruptions: Worse Ester was obviously Worcester, Revolving France was Revolutionary France, the big tent with swords was the Marquis de Sade.

That leaves Moira and the party HQ: Social Democratic can be contrated to SoDem and add that rather techy woman and you get: SoDem Anger Moira. Try saying it fast and out loud.

.
The groaning may now commence.

.
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Groan!

Ok, I had the story line itself, that was clear enough, and what really drew me to the story. I just couldn't get the actual PLACE, and I totally didn't figure out the Moira stuff. But I had the rest! :)
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

The Judge said:
Harebrain is right -- none the first month (have just re-checked).


My new career beckons...


A nice story, Parson, and I do prefer it to the one you posted, but I'm flummoxed as to how I was the inspiration for it... hang on... I'm not the prince, am I?! :eek: (Checks attributes, and...er... attributes: wealth... in my dreams; health... currently hobbling on crocked foot; respect... ha ha; youth... double, nay triple, ha ha!)
Click to expand...

I suppose it would have been more accurate to say that you inspired me to write it. In a few PM's around 3 weeks ago you said you were surprised that I had not drawn a story from Bible background about the 7 deadly sins. It just so happened that the week we had the conversation I was working on another passage, John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." For one of my points I was dealing with the context of that verse which has some Jews believing Jesus teaching, but he responds that if they hold onto his teaching when he is "lifted up," they will be truly his disciples. I said that these Jews were caught up between knowledge and life. They knew Jesus' teaching and believed it, but they had yet to become his disciples. Then I rewrote the story of the "Rich Young Ruler" in a couple of 100 words and read that. That illustration, which is very superior to this story, was the basis of the 75 word story.

And they all say to Parson: "TMI!" aka Too Much Information.

Sorry guys.:eek:
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Since Parson led the way by posting his non-entry, I'll post mine.

As some of you may remember, I thought I would try writing Seven Deadly Stories -- not one for each sin specifically, but just try writing the seven stories and see where that led me.

Where that led me was that my brain stopped producing new ideas after five, and they weren't getting any better. My original plan was to write the stories and then choose the one I thought was best. But after mulling it over and over I decided to go with the one that I liked the best, and whether it was really the best, or whether it would get any votes at all, it wouldn't matter. Ironically, that was the first one I wrote, so I needn't have written the others after all.

Anyway, here are the others, although not in the order I wrote them.


Sins of the Father

His subjects worn down by decades of tyranny, he quailed before the knife in his son’s hand.

"Kill me and you become me. I, too, started with good intentions."

One thrust and the bright blood spilled.

"I kill to make way for a better man." Yet already the new king felt power’s seductions. Dizzy with the poison that would kill him within the hour, he wondered:

How many sins could he commit in the time?


Venom

Seven years she spent in the slow brewing of poison, distilling her malice, spite, and envy.

At last she tried the tiniest taste on the tip of her tongue. She expected bitter, but it was surpassing sweet. Afterward, her craving for more was intense.

Her rival drank deep and died smiling, but the man they had both desired was a cruel disappointment.

Through all the years of her long, dissatisfied life she yearned for another taste.


The Palace of All Pleasures

It was the mansion of every sensuous delight, a glut of rich foods, days and nights of carnal pleasure, sweating bodies writhing together.

Moving from room to room, he experienced every vice, reveled in sensation. Then came envy, pride and wrath in bitter rivalries.

At last came satiation, all pleasures dulled, degraded, tainted. Wearily, he opened the final door.

A figure, grey, desiccated, hollow-eyed, crouched upon the floor.

“I’ve been expecting you,” said Despair.


Greed

He was a thief who walked unseen, amassing a fortune in fabulous artifacts: jeweled shrines from churches, pearls like hen’s eggs, even — in a display of arrogance — a king’s crown. In time he grew careless. Thus a mage caught him, stealing a spellbook set with rubies.

"I have been observing you for years. You are quite remarkable."

The thief bowed.

"So remarkable, I think I shall keep you. You see, I am a collector, too."
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Ooh, Teresa, I really like the last three of those! I can't decide which one I like best. What a decision you had to make this month!
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Teresa,

"A Palace of All Pleasures" was a pleasure to read and I think caught the challenge dead. It's a great story.
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

All very good, Teresa, but I especially like "The Palace..." and "Sins of the Father".
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Thank you, Parson and Boneman. That one was my second choice.

But other people wrote stories covering all of the sins at once, and better than this one, I think. (I voted for one of them!) At least the one I did post had the ... um, virtue of being different.
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Seeing as my entry didn't get a single mention this month I can only assume that I flopped it. I took the 7 virtues and turned them into sins from an alien's point of view. My story was supposed to highlight the relativity of sins, urgo the patience, humility, kindness, chasity and so on, that the humans show to the aliens, but the Alien's see these as sins and so were driven to war by them. I don't think I handled it very well though. It probably came across as wrath!
Here is my other story, which I didn't post even though I thought it had potential, I was too intent on expressing my aforementioned idea. The title isn't very good and I'm not sure if it qualifies as SF&F but it probably does - loosely.

Pride before a fall (from grace)

‘That’s nice.’

‘It is isn’t it?’

‘Where did you get it from?’

‘Vicky made it?’

‘Vicky? Your Vicky?’

‘Yes.’

‘Wow, she’s very talented’

‘I know. We’re both so p…’ BANG!

Mrs Cobblepot exploded in a heavenly blast of divine retribution
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Haha, poor Mrs Cobblepot. Old bird never catches a break. I liked your original take on the theme, Moonbat. It puts an interesting perspective on...perspective.

Teresa, I'm impressed at how you manage to not only come up with such a good variety of different ideas (I really like 'Venom') but also write them so succinctly while managing to make them poetic. I find it so hard to come up with my first idea, and when I do I'm usually so relieved that I instantly write it down and submit it before allowing myself to explore anything else...
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

I like "The Palace of All Pleasures", Teresa, but I still think you posted the right one.

I'm going to grit my teeth next month and not post the first thing I come up with.
 
re: Discussing the Writing Challenges -- September and October

Moonbat, you have had mentions haven't you? Pretty sure you were on my shortlist! :)

Teresa, love all of yours! Can't decide which I like the best!

I'll post mine when I'm on the other PC.
 
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