A children's fantasy picture book [images]

[mixa]

Fantastic!!! Really good!

 

[LukeW]

Just an update. Been doing a fair bit with getting page 1 sorted. I don't think I'm at the stage where I can say that the quality of this stuff is publishable, unfortunately.

The knight has been annoying me, particularly with the armour. And there's some inconsistent shadows in there, as well as a few perspective errors.

My next post will contain some narrative for you guys to pick apart... promise.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I definitely prefer the original line drawings, and I think the kids would, too. The new ones, especially the color, don't show off your artistic talents at all -- they just look like any of a number of cartoons or computer games. The line art ones in black and white were marvelous. They were a bit scary, but that's a plus to the kids. My 4yo daughter's favorite book right now is "The Z was Zapped", a story about all the awful things that happen to each letter of the alphabet; the A was in an avalanche, the B was badly bitten, the C was cut to ribbons, etc.

Please, please, go back to the originals! You could work a bit more action into the pages as you go, if the static poses are bothering you, but those are a winner!

Whomever told you the plant looked like female anatomy apparently didn't realize that kids of the age this book is intended for will not have seen any yet.

The only thing I can see that a publisher might take exception to is the non-PC nature of the dwarves, since the cook and the cleaner are female and the rough-tough ones are all male, but you've said some of them are going under the knife to fix that.

Oh, and the mining drawings remind me very much of Lemmings, too.

 

[Pyan]

The only thing I can see that a publisher might take exception to is the non-PC nature of the dwarves, since the cook and the cleaner are female and the rough-tough ones are all male, but you've said some of them are going under the knife to fix that.

Umm - the cook is male - and the miner is female...

 

[LukeW]

Please, please, go back to the originals! You could work a bit more action into the pages as you go, if the static poses are bothering you, but those are a winner!

Yep. In the end the colour pages just weren't doing it for me. I worked out a work around (see below) that I think addresses the issue and explains why there isn't much action going on in the images.

The only thing I can see that a publisher might take exception to is the non-PC nature of the dwarves, since the cook and the cleaner are female and the rough-tough ones are all male, but you've said some of them are going under the knife to fix that.

While I agree that there's a signifcant male:female ratio, I would have to argue against their being a bias in their occupations. I actually set out on purpose to make their wasn't a sexual bias in the jobs. I've also changed the hunter to a female, though you won't see it in the pic below.

I said earlier that I wouldn't post until I had some narrative to show, and I finally got round to doing it. I've attached it below as an image and a text block. The text block is more current as it's difficult to make small corrections in an image file.

Please note that the image is a mock-up. I will take any advice on layout or style, but please be aware that the quality of the paper, photo, the bear (the ink width on him needs to match the font) and font (which is too hard to read) will all be improved on. If someone knows a good calligraphic font to use then I'd love to know about it. I also need something better than sticky tape for holding down the photo... I was thinking phlegm.


Cheers

After one hundred and eighty two days of trekking through the Forest of Harrowleens, myself and five other dwarves arrived at a site that our leader - Harvey S. L. Langman – deemed acceptable (more acceptable, apparently, than the site we found six days previous... and the one we found two fortnights prior to that). I have decided to keep this journal for the duration of my stay at the site.

Initially nine dwarves set out from the capitol with orders to found a new dwarven city. Of our party, two were lost in the Diadamian swamps to sickness, while a third member was captured by the witch Esme and turned into a shelf ornament.

Upon deciding on a site, my companions quickly set to work establishing a base camp. We were all eager to sleep underground after many nights on top soil, so there were some fights over who would get first use of the pickaxe (we lost two when our party was chased by a hive of fire-breathing husk toads). It was decided that Lea F. Thoroughheart should be the first to strike the stone as it was her main profession. Despite having other jobs to perform, we all would take turns digging.

Jarvid R. E. Tailbone complained early on that the quality of the timber was poor owing to the fact that many of the trees had succumbed to base rot and termites. Harvey ignored his concerns, stating (rightly so) that a dwarf only need be concerned with that which is dug out of the earth. No one particularly likes Jarvid.

Joerg R. Ranfern is the laziest dwarf I have ever met. I caught him sleeping in a hollowed out tree stump one morning when he was meant to be helping Lea. A tree stump! What sort of dwarf chooses to sleep in such a place?

I have asked Henrietta S. K. Langman to look for mushrooms and herbs during her hunting runs, a request that was met with equal parts contempt and outright hostility. I’m not sure what the lady’s problem is... perhaps she’s grown accustomed to a bland palate but it’s no reason why the rest of us should suffer. Maybe Jarvid can collect some for me?

H. R. Gherger

 

[alchemist]

I'm glad you've gone back to the original drawings. They have more charm, and the body proportions are less human.
The sticky tape looks fine, if not exactly dwarven. Some sticky berry juice, perhaps?
The font definitely needs to be changed. French script MS?
I like what you've written, but suspect a child would need to be 9+ so as not to struggle. I'll try and get a 7 year old expert to look it over.

 

[alchemist]

My expert has spoken (7 years old, with a reading age of 8, according to teacher). The black and white pictures are better than the colour figures. That font can't be read, and some of the words "are too long" (only some). The knight is cool, and this is a book that he would happily give to a friend for his birthday.
The worms are not scary. It's teeth "look wrong. They're too curvy."

Overall, he likes it, and that's an achievement.

 

[LukeW]

Excellent, thanks.

 

[SleepyDormouse]

I too like that you have gone back to the original line drawings and agree that sticky tape doesn't seem quite right.

Also agree about the font, was going to comment that my 8 yr old would not be able to read it.. but someone else got there first. Other books we (my son and I) have read where they are supposed to be handwritten sometimes have ink blobs, perhaps something like that would fit well with the scrap book type feel of the stuck in picture. Perhaps mining dwarfs would leave muddy finger-prints or mug rings or similar on the work. That way you wouldn't need to use such a strongly styled font to give it the handwritten type of feel.

 

[flickimp]

I am a massive art fan - and I love yr art
I recommend you invest in a wacom cintiq 12wx and photoshop cs3

Working with layers will open the world to you

You can see my art on
flickimp on deviantART

 

[LukeW]

I am a massive art fan - and I love yr art
I recommend you invest in a wacom cintiq 12wx and photoshop cs3

I'm working on a Cintiq 12wx (bloody awesome, aren't they?). I was able to buy one a couple of years ago and claim it on tax because I was teaching art at the time.

I also get the latest copy of Photoshop free as the school I work at decided to purchase a copy for all the computers (including teacher's) at the school.

Good recommendations though for anyone interested in getting into digital art.

 

[LukeW]

I apologise now for bumping my own thread, but I have something of a minor dilemma and would like some opinions.

Currently there's a problem with the layout of the right-hand side images (the cross-section pics). The problem is that I'm losing a lot of stuff off the sides of the page while the top and bottom (especially in the first four scenes) are largely empty. If you look at the ones that I've posted you should be able to see what I mean. Page two is filled with air and I had to throw in some filler at the top and bottom of page four.

The easy solution to this is to set the images to a landscape layout. What I want to know is; does presenting a picture book in landscape style limit in any way the selling capacity of the book or the ability for that product to be picked up by an agent or publisher?

Doing a quick scan of the picture books at the reading shelf in my class, almost every single one of them is a portrait-style book.

Do landscape-style books sell?

Thanks

 

[SleepyDormouse]

I don't have an in-depth knowledge on this, but I am sure my youngest has some landscape picture books on her shelf. "Each peach, pear, plum" by Janet and Alan Ahlberg, and the jolly postman by them too. There may be more but don't want to go up and look now as she's asleep.. hopefully. They are well liked authors/artists and I suspect they wouldn't choose a style that doesn't sell..

But I think most picture books are in portrait. Not sure if that means its better to be portrait.

 

[alchemist]

We have some landscape books too, so it's not an absolute no-no. That said, portrait books probably look more grown-up. It's hard to imagine The Gruffalo in landscape. If you can keep it as portrait at all, I think you should.
Maybe there's somewhere you can get figures on best-selling children's books, and see what form they take.