Quick Fire Questions (A Place to Ask and Answer)

[Hex]

okay... I think (but don't quote me on this) that it should be a colon because you're at the start of a list, and also, because the bit after the colon extends the bit before. So, his mind, arms etc are part of his body.

I'm pretty sure that you can use commas in a list after a colon, so it would be all right to have:

Tiredness ran through him like a ribbon which joined each part of his body: his mind, his arms, his legs.

 

[Abernovo]

Looks fine to me. I agree with Hex about using a colon rather than the semi-colon, or you could use a dash.

 

[odangutan]

It looks good. I'd use something other than 'ribbon', myself, but I think that's just personal preference and it may work in context. My typically over-worked version might be:

Tiredness ran through him like a fraying cord, joining each part of his body - his mind, his arms, his legs - into a barely-held mass of exhaustion.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Okay, I see what you mean; thankyou.

 

[chrispenycate]

I'd watch out with classing the mind as part of the body (unless you've explained why elsewhere). And be quite happy with the colon for a list.

And, talking of intestines (Ouch. Ursa would be ashamed of that one) the quarry could indeed be either where he works (cutting stone) or something he is hunting, either of which could explain the fatigue. I assume context would make that clear.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I started with brain and then changed it for some reason; it's an easy fix. and yes, the quarry is set in context; it's a rock quarry. TY

 

[Boneman]

I started with brain and then changed it for some reason; it's an easy fix.

If only...

Anybody know of any good accounts of the 'rush' one gets with heroin/cocaine/spice? Not that I want to glorify drugs in any way, but my character gradually becomes addicted to the ironstone magic, so I want to portray what he might feel each time he absorbs it. I'm really not keen on researching personally... fortunately, drugs have always scared me!

Thanks.

 

[Flugel Meister]

Trainspotting might be a good place to start if no one has any clear description of what the 'rush' is like.

 

[Moonbat]

As far as I am aware (and I haven't ever tried/used Heroine or Cocaine, I have used spice, but not in the Dune way) each drug's high/rush is different.
I have heard explanations of Heroine being like an amplified all body orgasm, where as Cocaine being like an adrenaline boost.

I once had to have a pain killer suppository and it was a very strange sensation of a pleasant (and I'm not talking about the nurse's hand up my bottom) warmth spreading out through my body from my bum. Incidentally the pain I was having was in my head and face, so you can imagine the oddness of having my bottom numb first, but as the strain of the pain made me tense my whole body even the first moments of relief were a godsend.

 

[xeldawyn]

I've got a problem that I really hope someone could help me with. I'm working on a Narnia-like book, but I'm not sure how to handle the difference between the worlds. To me, it has always seemed odd that these characters all tend to speak the same language. By no means do I want to create my own language as I'm not a linguistic expert, but I would like to make it clear that communication is difficult between the characters of the fantasy world and Earth world. Is there a "simple" way of achieving this? My characters DO eventually learn the fantasy countries' languages.... I'm just not sure how to pull all of that together. Should we all assume that everyone speaks the same language, instead? I'm new here, by the way, but great appreciate any help. Thank you!

 

[Abernovo]

Hi xeldawyn. First off, welcome.

If you can, keep the languages - they're important, showing differences and similarities between peoples. Perhaps you could bind them together as being from a root language, just as English, German, Bulgarian and Hindi all have roots in an ancient Indo-European language. So your characters might recognise a word similarity and progress from there.

You don't have to invent a language, simply explain how the characters slowly begin to understand each other. Maybe a Pidgin language would be used - "I go to market. I buy apples." instead of "I went to the market and bought apples". (Worryingly, that was the best example I could think of at the mo - it's been a long day). Don't worry, there will doubtless be others offering you much more sage advice.

Good luck and welcome again to the Chrons.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Well in Narnia it was partially explained by the white witch having been on earth. That is one way to go about it; if there is a link to an imaginery world then there may have been traffic back and forth before, so there may be an inherent knowledge of the language.

Or maybe the narrator understands both?

Oh and yes, hi, welcome.

 

[Ursa major]

If your novel is written in a strict PoV style, then your characters from World A will at first not be able to make head nor tail of what people from World B are saying, and vice versa. They won't even be able to separate the words out properly. (Most people, unless they're consciously trying to be understood by a non-speaker of their language, speak in a continuous stream of syllables, not individual words.)

At this point in the story, your PoV character can tell the reader what they hear: an indecipherable concatenation of noises:

The man said something, but I might as well have been listening to a petrol lawnmower for all the sense he made.

(1st person example.)


Most of the "conversation" will be body language:

She gestured for John to follow her into the cave.

(3rd person example.)


Given that you won't want to bore your readers with too much of this, most of the early encounters between the people of the two worlds will be dialogue-light. This, though, is an opportunity: if a character from World A is in World B, their narration can be more descriptive of what they see (particularly the differences if neither World A nor World B is Earth: you can then describe both World A and World B in a natural, non-info-dumping manner).

As the characters' understanding of each other languages develops, the dialogue will be whatever each of your PoV characters make of what they hear (i.e. the content) rather than the sounds they hear; unless, that is, you want to invent new languages.

 

[xeldawyn]

First off, thanks all. The PoV will be exchanged between the three characters from World A. I am connecting the two worlds through alchemy and the use of mercury, so there have been instances in the past where other people from World A have come in contact with World B. Time in World B works exactly like it does in World A. Very few people in either world have any knowledge of the.. other world. Ursa Major, I am an info-dumping monster so now that I see the opportunity, I will take advantage of it Thanks Abernovo and springs, you two have got me thinking!

 

[xeldawyn]

Sorry about the lack of paragraphs. I just figured out there was something other than "Post Quick Reply" xD

 

[Ursa major]

Don't worry about the quick posting: you have an hour in which to make changes. Some of us o) have come to rely on that hour, and even then....

(After that hour is up, the post contents are there for good.)

 

[chrispenycate]

As somebody who's gone through this several times (no, not in Texas. Well. very nearly in Texas, actually, with a Glaswegian and a Texas Ranger, each of whom thought he was speaking English) I can inform you that while holding philosophical discussions takes a while, actually building the basis for simplified communication can go very fast, with good intentions and a sense of humour on each side of the language barrier. Helps to have a notepad, and some slight ability in drawing. Each of you has learnt the other's principal obscenities within an hour of contact.

 

[Arkose]

Re: Need someone other than a Scientist?

Did the Union have sharpshooters during the civil war, or did the confederates have all the good shooters? If the Union did have sharpshooters what weapon was used? I can only find confederate sharpshooter weapons.

Thanks

 

[Hex]

Re: Need someone other than a Scientist?

Did the Union have sharpshooters during the civil war, or did the confederates have all the good shooters? If the Union did have sharpshooters what weapon was used? I can only find confederate sharpshooter weapons.

Thanks

I am absolutely the wrong sort of historian for this -- I know next to nothing about the US and less about weapons -- but, since no one else has answered, I feel I should have a shot (haha!).

In brief, the answer is: yes, and: it depends how lucky they were and what they could get their hands on (see below).

So here, via Google, (from the History Channel page on Civil War snipers):

“Sharp­shooting” was a job for marksmen. Get­ting into the New Hampshire Sharpshooters, one of dozens of Union light infantry outfits, required feats of accuracy: at 600 feet, 10 consecutive shots at an average of five inches from the bull’s-eye. Col. Hiram Berdan, who was ordered by Gen. Winfield Scott to create two entire sharpshooter regiments from companies raised in the various states of the Union, was himself a famous crack shot—the best in the Union army.

Then further down:

The sniper’s weapon of choice was the so-called American rifle. Individ­ually crafted and sold to hunters and target shooters before the war, “American,” “benchrest,” or “match” rifles were so heavy—14 to 40 pounds, two to four times the weight of a factory-made in­fantry rifle—that they had to be aimed and fired with the barrel resting on a bench, fence, or other support. The accuracy of these aptly named “heavies”—like the 35-pound, .46-caliber Morgan rifle made in small batches by John C. Wells of Milwaukee—derived from the massive barrel and superior engineering.

And here's Berdan again:

After personally intervening in Washington with the army staff and the secretary of war, Berdan procured a special rifle for his two Sharpshooter regiments: the Model 1859 .52-caliber Sharps—nicknamed the “Berdan”—which, in skilled hands, became one of the deadliest weapons of the war. Though not as well engineered as a match rifle or the Whitworth, the Berdan Sharps was a breech-loader cap­able of firing four times more quickly than muzzle-loaders like the Whitworth, and it was accurate out to 700 yards in skilled hands.

There's a fair amount of stuff about Berdan and his opinions about the way to train sharp-shooters. I don't know how 'academic' you want your history -- and if I were writing a paper, I wouldn't use the History Channel as a source -- but for factual details like these, I think you're safe. And if you need more, you could follow up Berdan.

A Google scholar search for 'Hiram Berdan' throws up all sorts of things, including patents filed by Berdan for the rifles.

Look! Berdan's patent: Improvement in rifling breech-loading fire-arms.

It has pictures and a description. Berdan filed the patent in January 1865, towards the end of the war. That's really exciting! (or is it just me?)

 

[Hex]

Apologies for double posting but I have a question of my own (plus, I've missed the editing window, plus I think my question would have got lost in all my enthusing about guns above. Ahem).

If you were sewing up a wound that was deep enough the hit the ribs, what would you sew and in what order? Or would you just sew the skin shut at the top?