Discussion - December 2011 - 75 Word Challenge

[Ursa major]

* Expects Mr Stephenson will be giving a rocket to whoever lost the dog. *

 

[Parson]

Just bring it HB (Just make sure it's not so bad that I can't write nice comments for everyone...)

I think you amply equipped to make kind comments. And also StarBeast thanks for the "long list" inclusion.

 

[reiver33]

This was my alternative entry, rejected as I wasn't sure the hypenated terms would pass muster in respect of the word count.

The Andromeda Prototype

Micro-scales of silk for skin, fluid movement born of intricate clockwork, her face copied from the supplied mimeograph. At her heart the power of a Rutherford-Curie generator.

Anatomically correct, as stipulated by my patron. The enforced intimacy of manufacture made my face burn with embarrassment, but I persevered.

And now she stands complete, perfect, without flaw.

I murdered Lord Rochester before his lascivious touch corrupted her.

How can any man surrender the one he loves?

 

[Abernovo]

I think they would have counted it as 77 words, reiver. Kind of disturbing(definite eewww factor in there), but very very good, as usual.

 

[The Judge]

Actually, we might well have agreed it at 75, though it's always best to check in advance. But gorgeous as this one is, and I'm glad you shared it, I prefer the one you did post, reiver.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I preferred the one you entered, too, Revier

 

[reiver33]

And my felicitations to HareBrain for his well-deserved triumph!

However (twirls moustache), he voted for me, which means surely I win!

But wait! Curses! I voted for Teresa, which means she wins! Isn't that how literary feudalism works?

Thwarted again by those pesky Chrons...

(Dons top hat, black travel cloak, and exits into the snowstorm)

 

[HareBrain]

Ah, but Teresa voted for Perp Man, who voted for The Judge, who voted for Bob S Sr, who voted for Moonbat, who voted for ...

Oh. Guess you did win after all.

 

[TheTomG]

Dang I missed the voting! Have been away from Chrons for an unprecedent 5 days. Anyway, thanks to Parsons for the HM, and congratulations to HareBrain for his victory. I can tell you there were a LOT of fine stories here, it was perhaps the strongest range of entries I'd seen. I'm still amazed with how much people pack in to 75 words, it's a real education.

 

[Moonbat]

Ah, but Teresa voted for Perp Man, who voted for The Judge, who voted for Bob S Sr, who voted for Moonbat, who voted for ...

Oh. Guess you did win after all.

He he it's like a game of voting soitaire (the card game not the one with marbles)
I wonder if it is possible to get through all the votes by following them in this manner, who to begin with?

 

[HareBrain]

No, it can't work -- as shown above, as soon as you get to one of Reiver's votes, it becomes circular. I think it's only possible if nobody got more than one vote.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

And then we'd have a whale of a tie-breaker!

 

[Perpetual Man]

Now that I've found my missing USB drive,

Here are my two rejected attempts:

Genesis

The waves washed the world away. The wretched towers of smoke belching brick, the clockwork monorails crumbled and fell to the waves. All three battalions of the coal fired army met the one force they could not overcome, their boilers hissing in the brine.
Just like that civilisation was obliterated.

But on the deck of his giant boat, Noé watched it fall and shook his head sadly. “We are all but toys in God’s eyes.”

and:

Remilliard’s Emporium of Children’s Delights.

Rich or poor, the children clustered at the big window, noses all but pressed against the glass looking at the toys within.

Marvels of mechanical intricacy; cogs that clicked and whirred, pistons that hissed steam through valves; soldiers marched, miniature steel men with coals at their hearts; trains that cut through oil lit cities; metropolis in miniature.

More real than real the posters proclaimed.

Where else were the souls of the dispossessed children to go?

 

[Highlander]

Congratulations Harebrain! - It was touch and go whether I chose your tale. Well done!

 

[paranoid marvin]

congratulations HB!

*wonders what harebrain theme they'll come up with for next month's challenge*

 

[StormFeather]

Congratulations HB!!

Although I lost track and didn't end up voting, you were in the top 3 of my first short list that I managed to make.

Having read both the very first story, and the subsequent offering of Reiver, I'm kind of glad that I didn't manage to enter. My first, (and the only workable one for me), was an idea that was pretty much an amalgamation of both your stories, but far less well worked and developed. Congrats as you made my short list too!!

Looking forward to the new theme, and hope to take part again when normality resumes next month . . . .;

 

[Culhwch]

A belated congratulations to HareBrain! I look forward to your theme for the New Year!

And also a belated thank you to Highlander for my fifth vote, and also for any mentions I have missed over the past few pages.

 

[chrispenycate]

I see Chrispy is late in posting his "who's late in voting" list. We must still have at least 14 entrants who haven't voted yet, with less than twelve hours left.

THE TENSION!!!!!! I CAN'T STANDS IT!!!!

(Sorry)

I am sufficiently proud of having managed a vote at all last month, without spreadsheet and with pressure to remain conscious of family rather than computer, to eclipse the shame of missing the named shamed (I failed on the photo challenge)

Many thanks AMB and Phoenix for the votes, And Dusty, Harebrain, Boneman and Ursa for the mentions. Conga rats to Hair Brane for the magnificent win.

And the two alternatives I wrote where I felt the "toy" theme was not sufficiently expressed.

Fruit for the Rich​

The giant greenhouses glittered like oversized Christmas ornaments against the snowscape, and heated carriages, the boilers that replaced horses keeping out the freeze, awaited the harvest of exotic fruits: pineapples, grapes, pomegranates and peaches, for the tables of the rich.

“Very impressive; but surely the mechanoid pickers are more expensive than employing the poor ?”

“Oh, they’d work free to be in the warm – but who’d want fruits touched by such hands?

Who’s whose toy​

21,847,623 moving parts. Delicate cogs, cams, rods, levers, belts and beads.

I could flywheel maintain thought fifteen minutes after steam pressure was lost, and mechanical memory loses nothing during dead time.


Cold mechanics hold no trace of chemical sentiment, but I have come to love my biological charges.

Bellows pump, pistons change resonators’ shape. I produce a voice.

“Two times four equals eight…”

 

[Abernovo]

Lovely little song and good alternatives, but I still really like your original entry.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

The toy theme is clear enough to me in both of those, and they are good as well, but I like your entry the best.