Excellent! I have actually got a pitch ready for him. I call it 'Space Camp 2' and it's about a group of mismatched kids together at a summer space camp...
What was the WORST movie you've ever seen?
- Thread starter J.Lo
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Excellent! I have actually got a pitch ready for him. I call it 'Space Camp 2' and it's about a group of mismatched kids together at a summer space camp...
J-WO
Author of 'Pennyblade' and 'Feral Space'
Throw in a CGI cute and 'amusing' character and it's a deal.
Instead of shorty we have a fat kid who provides the comic relief and the obligitory ethnic minority is a hyper bright japanese-american who has smuggled his 'pet' robot onto camp, ensuing chaos and escapades as it gets them all into trouble.
They are chased by men in black baddies all the time - who we think are protecting something secret. But in the end it turns out that the head of the men in black is actually the estranged father of the cheerleader. So at the end these two characters make up and start afresh and on the road to a fulfilling father-daughter relationship, and everyone else is happy (including the robot which was crushed in the penultimate act, but NASA scientists re-build it secretly making it 10x better than before...)
The tag line should be:
"Friendship is not rocket science"
They are chased by men in black baddies all the time - who we think are protecting something secret. But in the end it turns out that the head of the men in black is actually the estranged father of the cheerleader. So at the end these two characters make up and start afresh and on the road to a fulfilling father-daughter relationship, and everyone else is happy (including the robot which was crushed in the penultimate act, but NASA scientists re-build it secretly making it 10x better than before...)
The tag line should be:
"Friendship is not rocket science"
J-WO
Author of 'Pennyblade' and 'Feral Space'
Goaaaaaal!!!!!
oh dear, all this discussion of Space camp 2 has unleased a wave of BS...
Apologies to all that read the following...
So,
The mentor of the group of kids (I see Drew Barrymore) is secretly in love with the head of the MiB (Steve Gutenberg??) , but because she cannot control this dysfunctional group is fired in the final act. (Mainly because the robot rewired most of the base, causing immense damage...)
The children realising they have hurt a lovely and great person are down so pull together... in this moment the Cheerleader, who has been a bitch all this time has an emotional moment and tells the Tomboy and Fat kid that she is nasty because she never grown up with her father and her mom died a few years ago - and the Tomboy somehow works out (from previous foreshadowing) that the MiB head is the father so they race after him to confront him....
...but instead get trapped in a test firing room, a test firing that can't be stopped, nor the room opened when the countdown is started....except for Fat kid who is too slow. So he toddles off to get everyone else to get help.
Fat kid, Quarterback and Brains stop Drew before she leaves the camp, tell her the peril the two girls are in. She races to Steve, who finds out about his daughter for the first time. They put mission control on alert, but...
Steve: "When the blast doors are shut we can't stop the test, it's automated. We've only got 10 minutes."
Quarterback: (looking at Brains and Fatkid) "I've got a plan"
they race off...
...and use the robot to rewire the door so that it will open and the Quarterback races in and rescues the Cheerleader & Tomboy while professing his feelings for the Tomboy (who's growing up from a tomboy into a young woman, in case we are having any gender confusion moments...)
Just in time they get out before the place blows up, but Brains had to sacrifice his beloved robot, now a molten mess of metal...
It ends with the group leaving the space camp, sad and dejected some days later, but Steve comes up behind them and orders them to stop. When they turn around, Steve gives an emotional speech and asks if the Cheerleader would like to live with him and he could perhaps learn to be her father...and then Drew pops in and puts her arms around Steve and says perhaps she could have a mom too...then Steve produces a rebuilt robot to Brains to his delight. Quarterback and Tomboy kiss. And finally Fatkid then says something really funny and they all laugh.
The END.
Apologies to all that read the following...
So,
The mentor of the group of kids (I see Drew Barrymore) is secretly in love with the head of the MiB (Steve Gutenberg??) , but because she cannot control this dysfunctional group is fired in the final act. (Mainly because the robot rewired most of the base, causing immense damage...)
The children realising they have hurt a lovely and great person are down so pull together... in this moment the Cheerleader, who has been a bitch all this time has an emotional moment and tells the Tomboy and Fat kid that she is nasty because she never grown up with her father and her mom died a few years ago - and the Tomboy somehow works out (from previous foreshadowing) that the MiB head is the father so they race after him to confront him....
...but instead get trapped in a test firing room, a test firing that can't be stopped, nor the room opened when the countdown is started....except for Fat kid who is too slow. So he toddles off to get everyone else to get help.
Fat kid, Quarterback and Brains stop Drew before she leaves the camp, tell her the peril the two girls are in. She races to Steve, who finds out about his daughter for the first time. They put mission control on alert, but...
Steve: "When the blast doors are shut we can't stop the test, it's automated. We've only got 10 minutes."
Quarterback: (looking at Brains and Fatkid) "I've got a plan"
they race off...
...and use the robot to rewire the door so that it will open and the Quarterback races in and rescues the Cheerleader & Tomboy while professing his feelings for the Tomboy (who's growing up from a tomboy into a young woman, in case we are having any gender confusion moments...)
Just in time they get out before the place blows up, but Brains had to sacrifice his beloved robot, now a molten mess of metal...
It ends with the group leaving the space camp, sad and dejected some days later, but Steve comes up behind them and orders them to stop. When they turn around, Steve gives an emotional speech and asks if the Cheerleader would like to live with him and he could perhaps learn to be her father...and then Drew pops in and puts her arms around Steve and says perhaps she could have a mom too...then Steve produces a rebuilt robot to Brains to his delight. Quarterback and Tomboy kiss. And finally Fatkid then says something really funny and they all laugh.
The END.
JunkMonkey
Lord High Vizier of Nowt
You forgot the final shot of villain demoted to the lowest position possible in the organization and reduced to performing a menial task that ends with him getting covered in noxious slime - to the amusement of all.
I was thinking of straight-to-DVD disney, and yes some obnoxious character (with side kick) getting demoted would be perfect.
Probably at the start he's the second in command to Steve so does his best to put a spanner in the works and he fancies Drew...
Probably at the start he's the second in command to Steve so does his best to put a spanner in the works and he fancies Drew...
Starbeast
Benevolent Galaxy Being
Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972)
A small group of evil farmers (decendants from ancient druids) abduct people to suck out their blood and test it to see if they can resurrect their queen to wed the devil and take over the world.
Can the town's only two inept policemen stop them?
Can the town's scientist find out why a blood sample from a dead victim keeps growing?
Will the town's people finally care that men & women are missing at a rapid rate?
Can any of the alcoholics get out of the one popular bar/pub and do something to help? Or is it more fun to just talk about the strange going's on in the rural town?
Who cares.
Another hunk of junk horror flick that should disappear without a trace. THEE only (unintentionally) funny part of the movie is the last nine minutes of the film. What a climax, sheesh....
A small group of evil farmers (decendants from ancient druids) abduct people to suck out their blood and test it to see if they can resurrect their queen to wed the devil and take over the world.
Can the town's only two inept policemen stop them?
Can the town's scientist find out why a blood sample from a dead victim keeps growing?
Will the town's people finally care that men & women are missing at a rapid rate?
Can any of the alcoholics get out of the one popular bar/pub and do something to help? Or is it more fun to just talk about the strange going's on in the rural town?
Who cares.
Another hunk of junk horror flick that should disappear without a trace. THEE only (unintentionally) funny part of the movie is the last nine minutes of the film. What a climax, sheesh....
Alien Dynasty
Golden Blood
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2012
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The Son of the Mask. As a massive fan of the comic series and the first movie, this was just like a bad dream. Not funny, bad acting, lame plot.
J-WO
Author of 'Pennyblade' and 'Feral Space'
If we keep this up, Space Camp will get its very own forum here on the Chrons. Scary.
JunkMonkey
Lord High Vizier of Nowt
I've never got to the end of anything directed by Lars von Trier so you are not alone.
Invasion of the Blood Farmers (1972) though! I'm off to find that one...
sanityassassin
he's the madcap pusher
totally agree the movie seemed to last an eternity and was the biggest pile of tripe I have ever had the misfortune to watch and I watch some dross movies on the horror channel
That's one of those films (are there two or even more? who knows they all meld together into one for me) that I have never, nor am never likely to ever, sit through in it's entirety and watch. Or even peek a further 10 minutes at.
If we were giving out categories for the various worst films of all time, and the next category was remakes, then my vote definitely goes to the remake of the 'The Vanishing'. Perhaps someone here has seem the remake of the 'The Wickerman' and can tell me if that trumps it.
I've never seen it the whole way through either. Too awful!
JunkMonkey
Lord High Vizier of Nowt
Darth Angelus
Well-Known Member
- Joined
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- 477
Super Mario Bros was really awful, as I recall. That one probably wins this.
Alien Dynasty
Golden Blood
- Joined
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Yeah, that movie was pretty bad.
Starbeast
Benevolent Galaxy Being
Wow........ I liked it, and it's two sequels. Ok, I'm running away now.
Godzilla remake
There are two remakes: The first one appeared after the giant lizard took a break (1977) and returned to the big screen nine years later in Godzilla 1985. Actor Raymond Burr reprised his role from the original 1954 film, and starred in this horribly bad updated version
Then in 1998, actors Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno starred in Godzilla, which explored new heights of weirdness in this awful second remake.
I'm a tremendous GODZILLA fan, and I was stunned at how terrible both movies were.
One of the worst Universal International movies I've ever seen. They should made it into a comedy.
I can't wait to hear your reaction.
It was a big pile alright. Yet, someone thought it should be made. Eep....
HUMONGOUS (1981)
Teenagers who can't get along with each other get shipwrecked on an abandoned island where they discover a mad killer.
Will the teens stop fighting amongst themselves?
Will they continue to separate and get picked off by the killer one-by-one?
Why do the teens want to know about the killer's past?
Why did the director film so many scenes in total darkness?
Was it really worth risking their lives going into the rundown mansion to find matches, when they already know the killer lives there?
Why does the killer stand still when he's set on fire?
Who cares.
This movie should have been titled: A HUMONGOUS Waste of Time.
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