Hee, made me laugh (both of yours this month have made me giggle, so that's good.)
Discussion -- 300 Word Challenge #4
- Thread starter The Judge
- Start date
- Status
Oh Boneman 
I forced myself not to read the last line before I got there, and I'm glad I did. Great stuff, Boneman.
Excellent story from Teresa too.
Excellent story from Teresa too.
I've enjoyed all of them so far. Just read Boneman's and Platty's. Boneman, you completely threw me with the last line. It changes everything. Brilliant.
And a great bit of alternative history from TSP. Hmm, at least, I think it's alternative history. Maybe little green men are really responsible for NASA!
And a great bit of alternative history from TSP. Hmm, at least, I think it's alternative history. Maybe little green men are really responsible for NASA!
Starbeast
Benevolent Galaxy Being
That's for sure. Well done Perpetual Man.
You wrote an epic.
Review time.
Teresa Edgerton - Your tale was beautiful, I love the ending.
Boneman - You got me. I read your story, and you got me at the end. Very cool, you rascal.
The Spurring Platty - Wow, WWII with aliens. Awesome!
SP; loved it, the language was so much of the era it took me into it.
Mr Turtle; a dark first entry, I liked it; that's some way to take a rejection...
Mr Turtle; a dark first entry, I liked it; that's some way to take a rejection...
Boneman
Well-Known Member
Thank you all for the comments - I do like a good punchline... Since I ditched one idea I'd been working on for two weeks, this one did come quite quickly - out of desperation and intimidation of the excellent entries so far! I don't like to start shorlist/judging in my mind, but there are three entries so far that stand out, so can we vote now please? (Actually the 300 word challenge is easier to vote - the 3 votes soothe my conscience that I've left out other 'winners' quite a bit. I would detest having to find just one winner...)
Since I ditched one idea I'd been working on for two weeks, this one did come quite quickly - out of desperation and intimidation of the excellent entries so far! I don't like to start shorlist/judging in my mind, but there are three entries so far that stand out, so can we vote now please? (Actually the 300 word challenge is easier to vote - the 3 votes soothe my conscience that I've left out other 'winners' quite a bit. I would detest having to find just one winner...)
Starbeast
Benevolent Galaxy Being
Nice to meet you Mr Turtle. Good story.
weird, I've been completely lost for an idea all month. Then earlier on I dropped a bottle of vinegar and come up with something. I sat and wrote it in one draft. Hopefully it reads OK.
Ha, love the inspiration, nixie! I was watching the lights reset on the printer at work when I thought of mine.
A new bit of writing terminology joins the lexicon: "the vinegar inspiration".
I have to weed out a few extra words, so I'm going to sleep on it now.
A new bit of writing terminology joins the lexicon: "the vinegar inspiration".
I have to weed out a few extra words, so I'm going to sleep on it now.
Starbeast
Benevolent Galaxy Being
Ha, love the inspiration, nixie! I was watching the lights reset on the printer at work when I thought of mine.
A new bit of writing terminology joins the lexicon: "the vinegar inspiration".
Great story Nixie. I really enjoy an evil alien tale.
Vinegar, wow. I hope it was a small bottle.TheDustyZebra, for you it was printer lights.
I'm seeing a story here.For me, I watched Lethal Weapon 2 & 3 a few times, I haven't seen them in a while.
A bit obvious...
The Spurring Platty
I am the wild blue yonder
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2011
- Messages
- 202
My inspiration came from the replica Saturn V rocket I pass every day on the way to and from work.
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2006
- Messages
- 6,381
Why oh why can I not bring myself to do the simple one line comments like Starbeast is doing.... anyhoo as I claw along trying to catch up:
Grizzgreen711 - A rather grim, dark but compelling piece that tells enough without giving you all the information you need to truly understand it. There is something rather clever in giving us a central character to whom we have no real understanding as to why he is doing what he is doing, or even who it is that pulls his strings. But the clever thing here is the depth that he is given, made slightly rounder by a subtle showing of compassion. What makes it all the more interesting is the feel that the man is a professional, he is aware, and perhaps even sorry that he might be taking the father of a little girl right in front of his eyes, but still sees it through to the explosive end. A wonderful character piece and a great little story besides.
HB - A totally different look at the superhero equation, and a rather alternate view of the picture. There is a reason that some of the great stories are often told by the heroes right hand man, but in this instance it seems to be the wrong choice. It does more than humanise the hero but makes the reader wonder just how much of the hero's wonder could be down to self aggrandisement; while at the same time we have to be aware that the storyteller might just be slightly biased for all her own reasons. Of course the other thing that makes the story work so well is the interlaced humour, that works really well, you could just imagine that there is a snarky teenage kid telling it. It also does well at catching the feel of the outlandish and over the top superheroics, making it a good, well rounded and executed piece.
Vertigo - In some ways this story reminded me of a onion, for as you read it and seemed to get an idea of what it was all about, you actually managed to strip a layer away and find an equally delightful one beneath, improving the story, strengthening it with each reading. At first it seems like just a simple case of aliens trapped on a planet (probably Earth) looking to find their way back home, and waiting for the humans to get to the level of technology that will get them there. But then we learn that they are there trying to help clean up the environment and from there it just continues to open out, quite an achievement for a story told in just 300 words.
stormcrow – Sometimes these stories are great stories in their own right, and sometimes they come to offer something else, and this is one of those instances. The piece is full of some wonderful ideas, probably more than you would have thought possible to get into 300 words – you could almost see something bigger coming from this, but the most important thing is the underlying feelings that come through with the words, none more so than the abject wonder that comes from the children pressing their faces against the window to see the blown glass animals. But it is more than just that as well, there is the almost casual description of Jupiter as seen from Europa making it appear both common place and wonderful at the same time, not to mention the structure being built itself. A truly wonderful imaginative piece.
Tactical Loco – The last hope in a world ravaged by nuclear fire. A great little tale that quite succinctly puts across the hopes of a species brought to their knees by their own stupidity. Strangely there is little that I can really say about it, as it does all it needs to do in the words provided, which is a tribute to the writer. It is well written gives all the information you need to know and allows you to see and feel what the survivors are doing, just how it affects them and what it means. The decision of sending children is a logical one, but might seem a little inhumane, but the way it is described is spot on perfect making it work in a way that could easily have been missed.
Alchemist – There was a certain brilliance to this one, that was both terrifying and above all humorous in the same light. The scene was so much a period drama and not at the same time that it made my head throb just thinking about it. It reads so fluidly and naturally that it’s easy to miss all the fun on the first pass through, but it is impeccably presented. There is so much that I liked in the tale, from the food references – humans as vegetables was just priceless. I think what i liked most about the piece was the casual delivery, it really seemed as though the reader was looking through a window at a scene that could have been juxtaposed in countless different situations and settings – only the words set it apart, and what wonderful words they were.
Mosaix – well, what can I say? I read through this a day or two and did not really pick up on much – but this time I really saw it come alive. The story is cleverly done and well told, but it is open to so many different interpretations that it boggles the mind. As always doing something like this and leaving it up to the reader to have the final say is always something that I particularly enjoy. It really makes you think and wonder just what Morales is taking (or meant to be) taking tablets for. Is his world falling apart caused by the fact he is not taking his medication, or it indeed the first step in something external happening. No matter, seeing the world through the eyes of someone becoming more and more paranoid is quite a trick to pull off in 300 words, but this time it has been done and with panache.
Chris – I read this one as being bleak and sad, a slow dissolution of life and hope into despair. I really enjoyed the essence of the tale and the way it was presented, the way the different steps of making the journey to one of Saturn’s moons , the almost casual reference to the massive passage of time (two Saturn years!) does not sound like much until you work it out, which we are given in the context of generations passing in those two years. And then there is the fall as things begin to fail, and done in a way that could not have been predicted, something alien over coming human technology – a pertinent reminder that not all alien has to be life, sometime the environment itself can be as strange and different – beyond our understanding as any creature. The desperate escape, and the final words finish the story beautifully, if tragically.
Perp – Still recovering from the slap over in the 75 word challenge
Grizzgreen711 - A rather grim, dark but compelling piece that tells enough without giving you all the information you need to truly understand it. There is something rather clever in giving us a central character to whom we have no real understanding as to why he is doing what he is doing, or even who it is that pulls his strings. But the clever thing here is the depth that he is given, made slightly rounder by a subtle showing of compassion. What makes it all the more interesting is the feel that the man is a professional, he is aware, and perhaps even sorry that he might be taking the father of a little girl right in front of his eyes, but still sees it through to the explosive end. A wonderful character piece and a great little story besides.
HB - A totally different look at the superhero equation, and a rather alternate view of the picture. There is a reason that some of the great stories are often told by the heroes right hand man, but in this instance it seems to be the wrong choice. It does more than humanise the hero but makes the reader wonder just how much of the hero's wonder could be down to self aggrandisement; while at the same time we have to be aware that the storyteller might just be slightly biased for all her own reasons. Of course the other thing that makes the story work so well is the interlaced humour, that works really well, you could just imagine that there is a snarky teenage kid telling it. It also does well at catching the feel of the outlandish and over the top superheroics, making it a good, well rounded and executed piece.
Vertigo - In some ways this story reminded me of a onion, for as you read it and seemed to get an idea of what it was all about, you actually managed to strip a layer away and find an equally delightful one beneath, improving the story, strengthening it with each reading. At first it seems like just a simple case of aliens trapped on a planet (probably Earth) looking to find their way back home, and waiting for the humans to get to the level of technology that will get them there. But then we learn that they are there trying to help clean up the environment and from there it just continues to open out, quite an achievement for a story told in just 300 words.
stormcrow – Sometimes these stories are great stories in their own right, and sometimes they come to offer something else, and this is one of those instances. The piece is full of some wonderful ideas, probably more than you would have thought possible to get into 300 words – you could almost see something bigger coming from this, but the most important thing is the underlying feelings that come through with the words, none more so than the abject wonder that comes from the children pressing their faces against the window to see the blown glass animals. But it is more than just that as well, there is the almost casual description of Jupiter as seen from Europa making it appear both common place and wonderful at the same time, not to mention the structure being built itself. A truly wonderful imaginative piece.
Tactical Loco – The last hope in a world ravaged by nuclear fire. A great little tale that quite succinctly puts across the hopes of a species brought to their knees by their own stupidity. Strangely there is little that I can really say about it, as it does all it needs to do in the words provided, which is a tribute to the writer. It is well written gives all the information you need to know and allows you to see and feel what the survivors are doing, just how it affects them and what it means. The decision of sending children is a logical one, but might seem a little inhumane, but the way it is described is spot on perfect making it work in a way that could easily have been missed.
Alchemist – There was a certain brilliance to this one, that was both terrifying and above all humorous in the same light. The scene was so much a period drama and not at the same time that it made my head throb just thinking about it. It reads so fluidly and naturally that it’s easy to miss all the fun on the first pass through, but it is impeccably presented. There is so much that I liked in the tale, from the food references – humans as vegetables was just priceless. I think what i liked most about the piece was the casual delivery, it really seemed as though the reader was looking through a window at a scene that could have been juxtaposed in countless different situations and settings – only the words set it apart, and what wonderful words they were.
Mosaix – well, what can I say? I read through this a day or two and did not really pick up on much – but this time I really saw it come alive. The story is cleverly done and well told, but it is open to so many different interpretations that it boggles the mind. As always doing something like this and leaving it up to the reader to have the final say is always something that I particularly enjoy. It really makes you think and wonder just what Morales is taking (or meant to be) taking tablets for. Is his world falling apart caused by the fact he is not taking his medication, or it indeed the first step in something external happening. No matter, seeing the world through the eyes of someone becoming more and more paranoid is quite a trick to pull off in 300 words, but this time it has been done and with panache.
Chris – I read this one as being bleak and sad, a slow dissolution of life and hope into despair. I really enjoyed the essence of the tale and the way it was presented, the way the different steps of making the journey to one of Saturn’s moons , the almost casual reference to the massive passage of time (two Saturn years!) does not sound like much until you work it out, which we are given in the context of generations passing in those two years. And then there is the fall as things begin to fail, and done in a way that could not have been predicted, something alien over coming human technology – a pertinent reminder that not all alien has to be life, sometime the environment itself can be as strange and different – beyond our understanding as any creature. The desperate escape, and the final words finish the story beautifully, if tragically.
Perp – Still recovering from the slap over in the 75 word challenge
AnyaKimlin
Confuddled
Perp it is very good to see you back. Feeling better ?
If Perp is otherwise engaged; you know, nappies, late nights, general baby mayhem you could always beg Boneman, the rest of us have.
AnyaKimlin
Confuddled
If Perp is otherwise engaged; you know, nappies, late nights, general baby mayhem you could always beg Boneman, the rest of us have.
hmm ... I so need help. I'm thinking of posting a general synopsis thread, because I cannot get it right.
Why not pop it on critiques, Anya? We can all put our penny's worth in and confuse you even more....
AnyaKimlin
Confuddled
Why not pop it on critiques, Anya? We can all put our penny's worth in and confuse you even more....
I did lol and that is what happened
Now I am just confuddled with it and I don't know where to start, so thought a general how to post might help more. Blasted thing has taken me a year to write next month, the novel with rewrites only took me about six months in total. Part of my problem is I tend to go all museum label/non fiction writer with it.- Status
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