Grammar checker rant

[Boneman]

"me, that am the only way..."

What are you writing, the Bible?

Ooh, good idea - should sell well! Obviously, it decided my character should be a jive-talking Jar Jar Binks type (or typo!)

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Yeah, it should be out of copyright now, so it's all yours!

The Bible, by Jar-Jar Binks, as told to Boneman

 

[Parson]

I leave mine on, but it's hideous anyway.

I tend to either leave out letter or mix tehm < up and it likes to fix them with an accuracy rate of 1 percent. Not to mention that apparently 'teh' is now listed as a word or something because thats the one that it never tries to fix.

I always have to make sure the editors are not using it and that they know to watch for its and it's all the selfs and those occasional confusions about plurals. I think some nouns are suffering multiple personality disorders.

I have my word processor set to change all of tehm(s) to them etc. It's an easy fix. Or at least it is in WordPerfect.

 

[Boneman]

I have my word processor set to change all of tehm(s) to them etc. It's an easy fix. Or at least it is in WordPerfect.

I have typing dyslexia, in that my left hand fights my right, so for every time I want to type 'from' (had to do that one-fingered) 99.9% of the time, I get 'form', which word rarely flags. But I've set it to change somehting all on its own...

 

[TheDustyZebra]

I have typing dyslexia, in that my left hand fights my right, so for every time I want to type 'from' (had to do that one-fingered) 99.9% of the time, I get 'form', which word rarely flags. But I've set it to change somehting all on its own...

So your right hand is winning, then.

I have developed some of those problems in recent years. Sometimes when I'm trying to type a 4, I end up with an f instead, and things like that. Weird thing is, it's in my writing, too -- I was showing my son something the other day for his algebra, and said, out loud, "1 + R", at the same time I was writing "1 + 4". And today, at work, I found where I had written a 5 that ought to have been a 10, and have no idea what my brain was doing when it put the 5 on the paper.

 

[Parson]

So your right hand is winning, then.

I have developed some of those problems in recent years. Sometimes when I'm trying to type a 4, I end up with an f instead, and things like that. Weird thing is, it's in my writing, too -- I was showing my son something the other day for his algebra, and said, out loud, "1 + R", at the same time I was writing "1 + 4". And today, at work, I found where I had written a 5 that ought to have been a 10, and have no idea what my brain was doing when it put the 5 on the paper.

I'm glad somebody else suffers from what would have to be called nonsense dyslexia. I often skip a word in typing because I am (relatively) flying along, now I do so when I use cursive. Is cursive a swear word today?

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Yes, I believe so. They are trying to ban it from schools, after all. And my son definitely says "cursive" like it's cursing.

 

[The Judge]

Goodness, this took some finding to resurrect -- I hadn't realised I'd started complaining about this so long ago!

Anyway, thread necromancy has taken place because Word is doing it again.

I have a woman who is a bit peeved at something a man has done, and being of low character and generally stroppy (and I quote) "She spat in his face". Word in its wisdom is telling me this is wrong and it should be "She sat in his face". What kind of book does it think I'm writing????

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Shouldn't it be sat on his face?

 

[Boneman]

I'd hate to think what it would correct "She spit in his face" to.... Just tried it: nothing, so disappointing. But mine corrects 'spat' to 'sat' as well...

 

[Ray McCarthy]

Spelling checkers can be OK, but can let you down, (Brooch, Broach etc).
Grammar checkers maybe for manuals, technical documents, pretty poor for fiction.

Turn off Word's grammar checker, or disable most of its options.

 

[prizzley]

"She spat in his face". Word in its wisdom is telling me this is wrong and it should be "She sat in his face". What kind of book does it think I'm writing????

At least it's consistent. It offered me the same solution to the same nonexistent problem. As I shouted at the time, " If she was the kind of girl to sit in his face, she wouldn't have spat in it."

My other favourite is, "She pursued (the original was pursed) her lips."
I haven't had such idiocies since I switched to Mac.

 

[The Judge]

Shouldn't it be sat on his face?

Yep, can't even get that right...

Though I suppose if Word thought this were a horror novel... yes, I can see Phyrebrat getting some mileage out of a woman sitting in a man's face.

 

[Parson]

Gives a whole new connotation to the idea of "mooning" someone.

 

[Boneman]

Still can't quite believe this, but Word wants to change this:

Her mother half-turned and Kate let go, wanting to hug her close


to:

Her mother half-turned and Kate let, want to hug her close

 

[Droflet]

Wouldn't no wat you takk abut.

 

[Parson]

Boneman... That's absurd! Is the suggestion even a sentence? What happened to the "go?" I'm betting on a glitch in the program.