Grammar checker rant

[prizzley]

My (hated) grammar checker has now gone obstinate on me. It refuses to accept Ignore rule and will only take Ignore once. So every time I recheck, it will flag up this so-called mistake. Grrrr!

 

[allmywires]

I had a Yoda-ism this evening.

Turning 'which is completely an urban myth' into 'completely an urban myth this is'.



(I was transcribing so don't blame me for the poor wording of the original fragment!)

 

[sknox]

Grammar checker are bad. Rarely right. We is never using those.

 

[prizzley]

We is never using those.

That's another thing it always gets wrong. Tells me I've put a plural noun with a singular verb when I haven't.

 

[The Judge]

And another:

[FONT=&quot]Lleuad walked in a long daze, as if dreaming while yet awake.
[/FONT]
Spellchecker insists it should be

[FONT=&quot]Lleuad walked in a long days, as if dreaming while yet awake.[/FONT]

What?!

 

[Gary Compton]

Why not ban grammar and replace with smiliesnot a bad idea, your honour

 

[The Judge]

Smilies for punctuation I can see it

But somehow smiling isn't going to help with the damn checker tonight as it's just come up with another one

[FONT=&quot]He watched the three men as they paced into the dark

[/FONT]Apparently should be

[FONT=&quot]He watched the three men as they packed into the dark [/FONT]

Presumably it thinks the dark is a medieval equivalent of a telephone box

 

[Gary Compton]

Smilies for punctuation I can see it

But somehow smiling isn't going to help with the damn checker tonight as it's just come up with another one

[FONT=&quot]He watched the three men as they paced into the dark

[/FONT]Apparently should be

[FONT=&quot]He watched the three men as they packed into the dark [/FONT]

Presumably it thinks the dark is a medieval equivalent of a telephone box

Is your grammar checker Czechoslovakian and did you buy it from someone called Del-boy

 

[TheDustyZebra]

[FONT=&quot]Lleuad walked in a long days, as if dreaming while yet awake.[/FONT]

What?!

Well, some days are longer than others....

 

[J Riff]

They use some kind of voice recognition software to do the printout on TV sets... in MacDonalds and other places, and it's worse than grammar checker, it really is bad sometimes.
Police were called to a domestic alteration, where a wife was being assaulted by her next husband.
Every second sentence is a massacre. Technology is funny stuff.

 

[prizzley]

Not easy in willies.

That's given me an instant aversion to my wellingtons.

 

[chrispenycate]

Somehow I have managed to get the spellchecker in iText Express to correct spelling in English or French, recognising when one or the other of the languages predominates and assuming the rest should be consistent with it. No, I don't know how I did it, and if it crashes out I'll never be able to get it back, but it means I don't have to be scrolling through "préférences/langues" all the time; great.

Until I work on an instruction manual in the two languages in parallel, where it starts getting all hot, bithered, and confused. As, unfortunately do I. No worhwhile corrections yet, but I suspect it's only biding its time.

 

[Boneman]

Time to bump this thread:

Word wanted me to replace:

Something... pressed on me, that’s the only way I can describe it

with:

Something... pressed on me, that am the only way I can describe it

 

[Kylara]

Wow. Just, wow BM that is...wow.

 

[Ursa major]

Time to bump this thread:

Word wanted me to replace:

Something... pressed on me, that’s the only way I can describe it

with:

Something... pressed on me, that am the only way I can describe it

You're lucky it didn't notice the comma before the word, that, and suggest:

Something... pressed on me, which am the only way I can describe it

 

[Kylara]

Ahahahaaaaa, the amount of time's Word wants to swap "that" for "which"

 

[TheDustyZebra]

"me, that am the only way..."

What are you writing, the Bible?

 

[alchemist]

I turned off the grammar/spelling check function years ago and have forgotten how to turn it back on now. But I'm much happier for it.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

I turned off the grammar/spelling check function years ago and have forgotten how to turn it back on now. But I'm much happier for it.

I have mine on in the certain knowledge at some point it will tell me I am error-strewn and it's not looking anymore. Quickest ever was the book written in the Ulster venacular, proof it's incomprehensible.

 

[tinkerdan]

I leave mine on, but it's hideous anyway.

I tend to either leave out letter or mix tehm < up and it likes to fix them with an accuracy rate of 1 percent. Not to mention that apparently 'teh' is now listed as a word or something because thats the one that it never tries to fix.

I always have to make sure the editors are not using it and that they know to watch for its and it's all the selfs and those occasional confusions about plurals. I think some nouns are suffering multiple personality disorders.