Discussion -- 300 Word Challenge #6
- Thread starter Teresa Edgerton
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Christopher Lee
Formerly BluePhoenix711
Thanks for the review Perp! It is always a delight to read your thoughts on the stories. You really give them your time and patience; the way that we should all be reading them.
stormcrow
Caaw blimey, Guv'nor!
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Enjoying this challenge - the writing's at really high standard, as ever!
...and apologies, I posted my entry in haste last night and managed to somehow achieve some horrible formatting errors & a rogue smiley, I thought I'd sorted them by editing the post but now notice a couple remain. Bit annoyed at myself. Hmph!
...and apologies, I posted my entry in haste last night and managed to somehow achieve some horrible formatting errors & a rogue smiley, I thought I'd sorted them by editing the post but now notice a couple remain. Bit annoyed at myself. Hmph!
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Karn – In a world that has been turned upside down, where everything we know has been destroyed or rearranged something sits in judgement of humanity, and what it says is rather condemning and perhaps even true. What really makies the story work is the oblique nature of those talking, we do not know exactly who it is until the end. It could have been any dispassionate observers but the revelation that it is more than just that, rather it is the surviving humans asking for help; and the other needs to be persuaded as he rattles off the dark list of things that has led mankind to this point. The question at the end is perfect as it is, better left unanswered.
Kylara – This is one of those stories that I have read ad a not as sure as I would like to be about my interpretation. That being said I really enjoyed it, especially the feel of the descriptions as they talk of flying. It feels to me as though this is the story of a trapped spirit, a lost and lonely form forever trapped to the mortal remains buried deep in a mound. In the storm there is the only sense of freedom where she(?) tries to fly, but remains tethered to her final resting place.
Al – Another story that I think is open to interpretation, possibly not in the way the writer intended, but then, that is the ongoing wonder of these challenges, delivering story that are full of depth and wonder in so few words. It is funny how many of these this month have been about the end of the world, almost as though the picture lends itself to dystopia. That being said there is something a little different going on in this tale, as the world, the people prepare for the end, there is someone or something moving through them offering the chance of salvation, certainly on the small scale but perhaps even larger. Although as with any of these Faustian deals there is a sting in the tail, could it be that when a mother is prepared to sacrifice herself that her family might live, not realising that her husband has made the same deal – and so many others too….
Kiffinyjean – And amongst all the dark foreboding tales we have this sparkling jewel. It really is a beautifully constructed tale of comic delight. It sets it’s scene lets us know what is going on and remains consistent as the imprisoned satyr tells his story. It is perfectly told, the hard done by ‘victim’ has a pitch-perfect voice as he declaims everyone and everything that has led him to this point. I have to say I loved the infringement of modern terms, the juxtaposition of classical creatures in a modern feeling prison. Really great idea, really well told and a lot of fun.
Scott – Another great tale enters the fray and this one feels to me as though it has links with this month’s 75 word challenge, the feeling of majestic events beginning to occur, the birth of a legend. The events here are huge, almost beyond comprehension, hell on Earth a near extinction level attack on humanity that wiped out 6 billion people lives and left the survivors broken and hidden little more than animals trying to just live while the demons dominate all. Yet from within this comes figure, someone who might just be the champion of mankind, leading the fight back against the darkness. But what I like most about this story is the fact that it is this saviour who is telling the tle which leads to the question, how much of it is a truth, how much is self delusion?
Chris – And then we have Chris. Always reliable for something intelligent, quite often something that escapes me, notorious ever since the ‘Kipling’ incident, and now he delivers this, a quintessential masterpiece. From the moment it started with its upright introduction, I loved it for what it was, a study of the human race, how each triumph was built on the back of another, but each time that triumph was built at a cost, something that we have seen fit to overlook and deny. In the end though it creeps up on us and by the time we acknowledge the damage done it might be too late. Here we are offered a few solutions, but the final one, the decision to reach out beyond this world and into space is an answer that should be more than fiction. The fact that in this iteration it brings the world together is just icing on a very delicious looking cake
Kylara – This is one of those stories that I have read ad a not as sure as I would like to be about my interpretation. That being said I really enjoyed it, especially the feel of the descriptions as they talk of flying. It feels to me as though this is the story of a trapped spirit, a lost and lonely form forever trapped to the mortal remains buried deep in a mound. In the storm there is the only sense of freedom where she(?) tries to fly, but remains tethered to her final resting place.
Al – Another story that I think is open to interpretation, possibly not in the way the writer intended, but then, that is the ongoing wonder of these challenges, delivering story that are full of depth and wonder in so few words. It is funny how many of these this month have been about the end of the world, almost as though the picture lends itself to dystopia. That being said there is something a little different going on in this tale, as the world, the people prepare for the end, there is someone or something moving through them offering the chance of salvation, certainly on the small scale but perhaps even larger. Although as with any of these Faustian deals there is a sting in the tail, could it be that when a mother is prepared to sacrifice herself that her family might live, not realising that her husband has made the same deal – and so many others too….
Kiffinyjean – And amongst all the dark foreboding tales we have this sparkling jewel. It really is a beautifully constructed tale of comic delight. It sets it’s scene lets us know what is going on and remains consistent as the imprisoned satyr tells his story. It is perfectly told, the hard done by ‘victim’ has a pitch-perfect voice as he declaims everyone and everything that has led him to this point. I have to say I loved the infringement of modern terms, the juxtaposition of classical creatures in a modern feeling prison. Really great idea, really well told and a lot of fun.
Scott – Another great tale enters the fray and this one feels to me as though it has links with this month’s 75 word challenge, the feeling of majestic events beginning to occur, the birth of a legend. The events here are huge, almost beyond comprehension, hell on Earth a near extinction level attack on humanity that wiped out 6 billion people lives and left the survivors broken and hidden little more than animals trying to just live while the demons dominate all. Yet from within this comes figure, someone who might just be the champion of mankind, leading the fight back against the darkness. But what I like most about this story is the fact that it is this saviour who is telling the tle which leads to the question, how much of it is a truth, how much is self delusion?
Chris – And then we have Chris. Always reliable for something intelligent, quite often something that escapes me, notorious ever since the ‘Kipling’ incident, and now he delivers this, a quintessential masterpiece. From the moment it started with its upright introduction, I loved it for what it was, a study of the human race, how each triumph was built on the back of another, but each time that triumph was built at a cost, something that we have seen fit to overlook and deny. In the end though it creeps up on us and by the time we acknowledge the damage done it might be too late. Here we are offered a few solutions, but the final one, the decision to reach out beyond this world and into space is an answer that should be more than fiction. The fact that in this iteration it brings the world together is just icing on a very delicious looking cake
Scott R. Forshaw
The Darth Knight
Loved the review, Perp. As always, thank you very much. 
Karn Maeshalanadae
I'm a pineapple
You hammered mine down well there, Perp, and I wish I could explain more, but voting isn't done. Perhaps I will when it is.
Yes, it does that sometimes when you paste a story from another document. It's very annoying! I think we may have ironed out that it is IE9 causing it -- are you on that?
The evil software here doesn't seem to be compatible with cut-and-pasting anything from another document, no matter what word processor or browser we use. Best to plan for it when you are formatting the story in the first place.
Kylara
Ghosting
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2012
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- 1,621
Thanks Perp, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm never sure if what I mean comes through, especially in so few words. I may explain it a bit more when voting closes if anyone wants to know...
Try c&p into notepad (windows OS) and then into the box on here...It should get rid of formatting errors...hopefully...
Try c&p into notepad (windows OS) and then into the box on here...It should get rid of formatting errors...hopefully...
Great stories coming in so far! Less than a day to go, for those still adding the final touches ...
Sadly not going to to get one out for this challenge. I just don't have the time for it
Sadly not going to to get one out for this challenge. I just don't have the time for it
Thought the same myself, Vertigo, but woke up this morning with an inkling of a idea. Seems to be taking shape.
Don't give up yet.
r_j_dando
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2012
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- 110
Done! That was the third attempt at this one. The previous two just didn't seem to work properly. Quite happy with this one, though. The previous two ideas just clicked into one which practically wrote itself. Some great entries this quarter, though, so I'm not holding my breath. Now to go back and read the rest...
Thought the same myself, Vertigo, but woke up this morning with an inkling of a idea. Seems to be taking shape.
Don't give up yet.
Not a lack of idea problem, I just haven't even had time to think about an idea. (I really shouldn't be posting here right now!)
Okay, mine's in.
I woke up this morning with a vague premise. Actually, it wasn't even that, just a word, Perspectives. I even made this word my working title, as if it would somehow invoke an appropriate story from the Land of the Muses. It didn't.
However, something crept nervously into the back of my mind, so that's what I went with. (And I suppose it does have something to do with perspective. In a way.)
(By the way, my usage of the m-dash is a tribute, of sorts, to the image's author, Sephiroth.)
I woke up this morning with a vague premise. Actually, it wasn't even that, just a word, Perspectives. I even made this word my working title, as if it would somehow invoke an appropriate story from the Land of the Muses. It didn't.
However, something crept nervously into the back of my mind, so that's what I went with. (And I suppose it does have something to do with perspective. In a way.)
(By the way, my usage of the m-dash is a tribute, of sorts, to the image's author, Sephiroth.
)
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2006
- Messages
- 6,381
StilLearning – A great look at space exploration seen from the modern perspective. This in itself gives pause to think, just how would it be today if men were walking on the surface of our satellite, would it be the isolated expedition of the past, or would there be all kinds of interaction, with various organisations trying to interview the astronauts even as they worked. Of course it’s not just about this, there is more going on ranging from the mysterious dead, through to a man waiting for rescue. The final scene with the Earth in the sky is evocative, perfect even. An ideal end to the story, even if for the unfortunate astronaut it might be history repeating.
JoanDrake – Another great story, and once again a different interpretation of the picture a wonderful use of the old imagination. I think what I enjoyed the most was the way it ended. You could just feel the commanders exasperation at having taken so much time to take so little ground, and finding that it was all a ruse. There was nothing there but an image that was keeping them back. Like so many of these stories it was some of the little details that really shone through, the throw away reference to the for points that had to be destroyed to turn the image off was just one. Just a small glimpse of a big war but it tells so much.
Phoenixthewriter – sometimes one of the things that strikes me with these stories, beyond the story itself is when the writer managed a beautiful turn of phrase, maybe not to everybody but one that just appeals to me, and that happens here, not just once but all the way through the story, there are some wonderful turns of phrase that form part of a dark story. Life, the end of at least, seen through the eyes of an angel of death. There is something malicious in the way it treats the collected souls of the living, perverse in the way that it takes enjoyment in the things that it does, but it works superbly in the context of the story, and wonderful macabre, beautifully written piece.
Phyrebrat – One might wonder just what it could be like to miss the end of the world. Even worse, what if you could remember nothing, just wake up with no memory of your place in the world and find the remnants of something that was vaguely familiar. This is what we seem to be seeing here. Even better is the use of the lighthouse as a central location for the story. Who else would be as isolated as a lighthouse keeper, but ideally placed to see the flash and bang as the world went to pieces around them?
Crystal haven – I’m not sure just what it was I liked about this one other than to say it was great. A father and son manage to find/win an amulet that takes them back into the past, to see the world as it once was, but in the process manage to lose the very thing they need to take them back is a great idea, the added threat of losing it in a place about to be demolished is even better, but for me the winning feature of the tale was finding the amulet, or rather part of it and realise that the most important piece is still missing? Brilliant. What is really well conveyed is what it will take to break even the most optimistic of figures.
Starbeast – As always the reliable SB delivers something that is off the wall, unique but so incredible entertaining. I can just imagine this playing out with an overdramatic soundtrack as the creature comes to life and takes out everyone there trained to deal with such things. As a bit of adrenalin burning fun it is spot on, especially the conclusion when the possibly eccentric scientist is the one to save the day, especially when all the soldiers failed. The fact that he does so, not with a clever scientific creation but with a bloody big gun is just the cherry on top. Worth a smile, as always.
Mouse – What a great little story, one that sets the world we know aside and gives us another twisted world. The fact that we are not told what has happened is brilliant, it allows the imagination to fly free as it tries to fill in the gaps – is this a world where some calamity has happened and mutated everyone into different things? Is it a fantasy world where things have always been this way? The segregation of the sexes works remarkable well, and the isolation of the story teller, especially while all her friends seem to be acceptable is something that touches on the heartstrings of anyone who has ever been to a dance and ignored. But what really makes it work is the vicious twist of humour at the end, the revenge of the cruelly dismissed. What price beauty to the blind?
Boneman – What starts of as an almost mysterious piece rapidly becomes more serious, and then grows to something that is almost heartbreaking in it’s conclusion. What is clever here is the voice in which it is told, and the way it gets worse the more facts are revealed. To start with a child waving to his mum in the distance on his birthday seems a bit odd, but the way it is told makes it almost understandable, but it is only as we learn that he is alone, that he is kept imprisoned by guards, that at one point he was not alone, that the tale really begins to hit home. The innocence of someone enjoying isolation because there is no school and he can play is heart rendering when you reach the end. Our protagonist is dying, and what really bites is the last line where he just wants to apologise to his mum and sisters as though it is all his fault.
JoanDrake – Another great story, and once again a different interpretation of the picture a wonderful use of the old imagination. I think what I enjoyed the most was the way it ended. You could just feel the commanders exasperation at having taken so much time to take so little ground, and finding that it was all a ruse. There was nothing there but an image that was keeping them back. Like so many of these stories it was some of the little details that really shone through, the throw away reference to the for points that had to be destroyed to turn the image off was just one. Just a small glimpse of a big war but it tells so much.
Phoenixthewriter – sometimes one of the things that strikes me with these stories, beyond the story itself is when the writer managed a beautiful turn of phrase, maybe not to everybody but one that just appeals to me, and that happens here, not just once but all the way through the story, there are some wonderful turns of phrase that form part of a dark story. Life, the end of at least, seen through the eyes of an angel of death. There is something malicious in the way it treats the collected souls of the living, perverse in the way that it takes enjoyment in the things that it does, but it works superbly in the context of the story, and wonderful macabre, beautifully written piece.
Phyrebrat – One might wonder just what it could be like to miss the end of the world. Even worse, what if you could remember nothing, just wake up with no memory of your place in the world and find the remnants of something that was vaguely familiar. This is what we seem to be seeing here. Even better is the use of the lighthouse as a central location for the story. Who else would be as isolated as a lighthouse keeper, but ideally placed to see the flash and bang as the world went to pieces around them?
Crystal haven – I’m not sure just what it was I liked about this one other than to say it was great. A father and son manage to find/win an amulet that takes them back into the past, to see the world as it once was, but in the process manage to lose the very thing they need to take them back is a great idea, the added threat of losing it in a place about to be demolished is even better, but for me the winning feature of the tale was finding the amulet, or rather part of it and realise that the most important piece is still missing? Brilliant. What is really well conveyed is what it will take to break even the most optimistic of figures.
Starbeast – As always the reliable SB delivers something that is off the wall, unique but so incredible entertaining. I can just imagine this playing out with an overdramatic soundtrack as the creature comes to life and takes out everyone there trained to deal with such things. As a bit of adrenalin burning fun it is spot on, especially the conclusion when the possibly eccentric scientist is the one to save the day, especially when all the soldiers failed. The fact that he does so, not with a clever scientific creation but with a bloody big gun is just the cherry on top. Worth a smile, as always.
Mouse – What a great little story, one that sets the world we know aside and gives us another twisted world. The fact that we are not told what has happened is brilliant, it allows the imagination to fly free as it tries to fill in the gaps – is this a world where some calamity has happened and mutated everyone into different things? Is it a fantasy world where things have always been this way? The segregation of the sexes works remarkable well, and the isolation of the story teller, especially while all her friends seem to be acceptable is something that touches on the heartstrings of anyone who has ever been to a dance and ignored. But what really makes it work is the vicious twist of humour at the end, the revenge of the cruelly dismissed. What price beauty to the blind?
Boneman – What starts of as an almost mysterious piece rapidly becomes more serious, and then grows to something that is almost heartbreaking in it’s conclusion. What is clever here is the voice in which it is told, and the way it gets worse the more facts are revealed. To start with a child waving to his mum in the distance on his birthday seems a bit odd, but the way it is told makes it almost understandable, but it is only as we learn that he is alone, that he is kept imprisoned by guards, that at one point he was not alone, that the tale really begins to hit home. The innocence of someone enjoying isolation because there is no school and he can play is heart rendering when you reach the end. Our protagonist is dying, and what really bites is the last line where he just wants to apologise to his mum and sisters as though it is all his fault.
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- Jun 13, 2006
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Then I think you succeeded, mouse. I'm pretty sure it could have gone many ways, the fact that it was what it was, was just one o many things I liked about it
Phoenixthewriter
Maniac Braniac
Wow Perp, thanks. I always love your comments, I think this particular review was the best I've received though. Thanks.
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