GAME: Hook my first line and sink her in to a paragraph!

When I first came to Sunny Hollow, all the animals were cute and friendly. Maybe too friendly. And energetic. Too energetic. It turns out the sun never sets here, and what I thought were good vibes and jolly moods were actually long manic episodes induced by sleep deprivation.
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It wasn't long before my hand dried up--Suzanne's entire leg had already crumbled into dust.
 
It wasn't long before my hand dried up--Suzanne's entire leg had already crumbled into dust. Soon, we would be fully dust-people again, and we could pack up our camping gear; now also reduced to dust particles... bid fond adieus to all our particulate pals, board the dirt wagon - and take a powder.

Dagmar scaled the giant monolith, cleared his throat and glared down at the crowd.
 
Dagmar scaled the giant monolith, cleared his throat and glared down at the crowd. The crowd cleared its throat in response. Together, Dagmar and the crowd began humming the Anthem of the Monolith, a minor key dirge aimed at putting the sentient rock into a century-long torpor. It was the only way to stop the incessant whining of the thing, the needling, pleading, constant, irrational demands for inane conversation that the monolith sent out as headache-inducing telepathic waves to everyone in the village. Last week it wanted to discuss, in detail, the latest single by that one pop star (and the prurient details about her alleged affair with that sports guy) and frankly it was at that point that Dagmar had had enough. And the crowd had agreed. It was one thing when the monolith had wanted to talk about important things like politics and enlightenment, but now that it had evolved its own carbon-based wifi connection...anyway. The Anthem would work. Was working. After a few minutes of the crowd humming the Anthem, the monolith's blithering gibberish began to dissipate, and there was a collective sigh of relief.


I don't know why you just turned yellow.


(edit: Ok, my idea was sort of shamelessly stolen from the Doctor Who episode The Rings of Akhaten, but hey.)
 
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I don't know why you just turned yellow. Is it Banana Thursday? I love Banana Thursday, it's my favorite fruit holiday, except for perhaps Mango Mondays. And Strawberry Sundays, of course. But... yellow is only allowed on Banana Thursdays, the Emporer is quite strict about that. .. so I'm going to have to report you to the Boisenberry brigade for puree~ing. Yes, the blend is neAr.... *

The worst jokes in the world always got a big laugh when Dagmar told them.
 
The worst jokes in the world always got a big laugh when Dagmar told them, but that was certainly helped by where he told them. He tended to shy away from the more sophisticated clubs on the Spandos III space station, preferring to frequent a tiny stand up bar located where the spin gravity was weak and the drinks were strong, making the audience much more suggestible to the stupid things he said.

I am extremely bored and order you to entertain me.
 
"I am extremely bored and order you to entertain me."
"I refuse."
--Anonymous Killjoy--


(probably violating all the sacrosanct rules of this game, but YOLO)
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Once upon a time, the Earth came to its sad but predictable end.
 
Once upon a time, the Earth came to its sad but predictable end. But, you know, like all good predictions of the end of the earth; this one, yet again, failed to stand up to to the promises from the press releases. The earth was still dirt. The air was still dirt. The water was still dirt. Same as it ever was.


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He stood atop a shining hill, upon a shining steed, the sky did shine, the sword did shine; and all was spit and polished.
 
He stood atop a shining hill, upon a shining steed, the sky did shine, the sword did shine; and all was spit and polished. Even the rocks shone with a rocky splendor... like... shining things they were, not rocks any more, so much as.... gleaming, beaming, radiant, phosphorescing and opulently-refracting things of shininess... and Dagmar whipped out his sunglasses before he was blinded... and they slipped from his hand and fell; as did his sword and his horse... down and down in to the limitless void of (very well-lit) blackness below... and he bellowed as his eyes fried like marbles in a stewpot, and lo, there was no happy ending. Except... *

How bottomless is this bottomless pit, wondered Dagmar as he plummeted.
 
What is it with you and this guy Dagmar? lol

How bottomless is this bottomless pit, wondered Dagmar as he plummeted. Oh, very, he thought as he continued to fall. Dangerously so, he realized as he reached terminal velocity. In fact, it's - with a meaty thud, Dagmar stopped wondering about anything at all.


Dagmar and Jalad went to Tanagra to see if Darmok was still there.
 
Dagmar and Jalad went to Tanagra to see if Darmok was still there. But he wasn't. Then a giant pterodactyl dropped an egg on Dagmar's head, and he died, unable to appear in any other SffChrons challenges/writing workshops.
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The aliens were strangely human.
 
The aliens were strangely human. We asked them stupid questions, to see how human they actually were, and they were mighty dim, and had silly names for interstellar ambassadors... like Magdar, and Dagram and Madrag... and they didn't know how their spaceship worked and they had come here for no good reason other than they had intercepted TV signals and thought hey, here's some critters even dumber nor ourselves, and they dropped in to run a few cons, make off with some Earth gold and treasure ... and that's just what they did.

Dagnag it, thought Mary, I forgot to feed the Aliens... they will be vewy, vewy angwy.
 
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Dagnag it, thought Mary, I forgot to feed the Aliens... they will be vewy, vewy angwy. Iwate, even. She ripped open a bag of Purina ET Chow and approached the compound cautiously. The multi-tentacled critters roared and changed colors in rage. Mary tossed a handful of the kibble into the cage and watched it disappeared into fanged maws. Now if she could just figure out a way to get them to take care of that cwazy wabbit.

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"What time should I be there?"
 
"What time should I be there? Before time? After time? Time well spent? Wasted time? Nap time? Time, Gentleman, time? Time out? Time in? Peacetime? Wartime? Night time? Day time? Bed time? Game time? Show time? Time to fish or cut bait time? Breakfast time? Launch time? Standard time? Greenwich mean time? Apology time? Walkies time? Make time? Coffee break time? Time to go? Time apart? Just in time? Out of time? Closing time? A fine time? Time out of mind? Time we had a talk? Time for a walk? Dead time? Half time? Tea time? Me time? Tide and time? Play time? May time? Marvin Gay time? Sail time? Mail time? Medieval time? Harvest time? Easter time? Famine or feast time? First time? Second time around? Time and time again? Clobbering time? Lambing time? Branding time? Jamming time? Seeding time? Feeding time? Reading time? Quiet time? Recess time? Bath time? Dream time? Screen time? Movie time? Groovy time? Extra time? Overtime? Passing time? Time and a half? Spare time? Fair time? A fine time? Hard times? Timey-wimey-wibbley-wobbley time?" It was time.

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Someone had been pillaging the graveyard again.
 
wow, that is some bump.... to honour it, I shall reply!

Someone had been pillaging the graveyard again. Everyone knew there wasn't a weapon to be had in any grave, coffin or sarcophagus. But the weaponless would die first, so the desperation to find something - anything - to fight in the Bella Donna tournament was understandable. Fashioning a weapon from wood was pathetic, the crowd would likely kill you before you took ten paces. Garthwood had beaten her first opponent with his bare hands and took the dead woman's weapons, going on to win. Childa couldn't take that chance, she'd have to go to the cursed battlefield, risk the wraiths and the souls of the dead, and the beasts that were trapped in the shadows. She had to find a weapon. The sun kissed the horizon, and daylight bled across the land. She got to her feet, and waited until her heartbeat slowed, then walked onto Crimson Fields, wooden spade in hand.


I pushed him into the abyss and rejoiced.

@Mad Alice Thank you for reviving this! I went back and had an absolute blast reading entries I wrote all that time ago.
 
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Oh, what the heck. Once written I must do something with it.

Someone had been pillaging the graveyard again. As before, an entire row of gravestones had disappeared, except from graves of people named John. Nothing else had been disturbed or removed. Not a trace of illegal presence or activity could be found on the well-kept turf and paths along the graves. Nobody had noticed anything unusual. Even the caretaker himself, who claimed to always sleep with his window open - a window that happened to overlook the violated garden of the death - declared that nothing had disturbed his rest. But the dead were disturbed. Something unpleasant had interrupted their slumber.

-----

I pushed him into the abyss and rejoiced. Delighted I danced on the diminishing scream that rose up from below, until it abruptly ended. Far too soon, to my chagrin. But that is life for you. The best moments usually last too short to be properly registered and celebrated. Don't be so negative, I berated myself. He has 6 more brothers to wreak vengeance. Your task is far from done.

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I had intended to thank God when I would finally stand on solid land.
 
I had intended to thank God when I would finally stand on solid land. The aliens were doing everything in their power to prevent this hallelujah.

"Boarding pods, decks 14 through 27! Combat teams Alpha through Mike, prepare for close combat."

Leland's hands shook as he chambered a round. 2 weeks of VR simulation did not prepare him for this. He was a mechanic for Christ's sake, not a marine! And I was the fracking babysitter, thanks to that ******* Corporal Vaughn and that bastardized card game. God help me.

Sparks flew as the alien cutting wheels broke through the hull. "Leland, breathe. Stay down and do exactly what I tell you to do."

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"Daddy, look at all the pretty stars falling!"
 
"Daddy, look at all the pretty stars falling!" Little Jimmy tugged at his sleeping Father's elbow, which caused his Dad to yell out 'YeeoWwp!" and leap out of bed, jump to the window while sweeping up his shotgun, and blast away at the dark alleyway. Above, harmless fireworks, fired from a nearby vacant lot, showered harmlessly down into the rain-moistened dumpster area outside. Falling glass tinkled to the cobblestones and dogs yelped in the distance. The glass bills were getting ridiculous - third time this week already. Still, when the Were-creature did come for him, he was damned well going to be ready.

He pondered their escape route as he repaired the damaged Frabulator.
 
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