GAME: Hook my first line and sink her in to a paragraph!

[Alex The G and T]

He pondered their escape route as he repaired the damaged Frabulator. The one sure way to confound The Consortium would be to slither beneath the shattered hootus and unleash the Frabulator upon the gaping hordes of disambigultors. It was now or nevermind.


What you gotta do, is get a ton of guys and

 

[J Riff]

What you gotta do, is get a ton of guys and each guy thinks up one word in a big paragraph. Nobody knows what anyone else's word is, so it's gonna be very very unique, and probably somewhat confusing to those amongst us who are unfamiliar with modren spazzola-word-art of the early 2020s. But then they never orange fiddle golfer doghouse lecherous hammer pancakes.

The time had come to enter the forest of fear.

 

[sule]

The time had come to enter the forest of fear. Humphrey re-read the lines of prophecy scrawled into the aged parchment scroll--lips moving ever so slightly--to make sure he hadn't overlooked any of his predestined tasks. Recall the sword once lost in war... Humphrey glanced down at the rusted thing that hung from his belt. Accept a kiss from maiden fair and gently stroke her lustrous hair... That one done as well. His face still stung from her slap. Each line fulfilled, but one. Humphrey rolled the scroll back up and set off down the path. He had a date with the troll at the heart of this wood.

The church's doors shuddered under the weight thrown against them.

 

[Joshua Jones]

The church's doors shuddered under the weight thrown against them. Then again. The third time and the doors flew open, and a man tumbled down the aisle of his megachurch. He fought his way to his feet and ran toward the stage. Suddenly, he found himself airborne, floating 10 meters above seating section 12.

“Satan, I rebuke you!”

A laugh like thunder shook the auditorium. “What makes you think I’m Satan?” said the voice from everywhere.

The rag doll televangelist careened over the seating area before bouncing across some chairs, finally coming to rest in a pile against a wall, cross burned onto his forehead.

There was a ringing somewhere above him. The phone ringing. Phone in a church?

Detective Kelsow blinked in the darkness, dream of the televangelists murder still vivid. He looked at his phone.

“Another one?” He asked the caller.

——————————

This is the story of how I died.

 

[Guttersnipe]

This is the story of how I died. I was on my way to the gas station to get some smokes when I spotted it--a thin black cat with one white space between the ears. I am not a superstitious man, and I don't assign goodness or badness to things that have no stake in human affairs. But, somehow, I couldn't pry my eyes from the strange feline. Somehow, my hearing was diminished almost to the point of total uselessness. I could only dreamily turn my head to see a big red creature--car--running wildly towards me with a hint of protest in the form of screeching tires. All the world vanished, save for clouds shot through with light and the black cat that had caught my eye. Somehow we were intact, the beast and I. The sound of a well-oiled gate opening split the tranquility.


The ship hit the shore, not a soul aboard.

 

[J Riff]

The ship hit the shore, not a soul aboard. The Vampire Walrus had struck again! Only a mysterious symbol - a Tusk, carved into the yardarm - gave any indication as to the fate of the fifty sailors devoured by the giant Odobenus rosmarus - An Odobenidae to be reckoned with! Bodies of washed-up victims exhibited circular puncturings the size of grapefruit. The Tusked Terror! Stay off the beaches, beware the sound of flapping flippers in the night, do not cruise casually on these shores! Especially, do not dress up as: bivalves, such as clams, benthic invertebrates including worms, gastropods, cephalopods, crustaceans, sea cucumbers, or other soft-bodied animals.

He measured the distance carefully, then let fly.

 

[Astro Pen]

He measured the distance carefully, then let fly. "Try and bite me now you rabid canine *******!" he shouted, as the dog charged at him, rearing as its neck reached the limit of the chain. Cleetus moved forward by small increments, until the frenzied barking was but two inches from his face. So loud his ears were ringing and he could feel the cur's breath against his face. He laughed, failing to notice the anchor post becoming uprooted from the ground.

Three of them, but only two rounds left.

 

[Joshua Jones]

Three of them, but only two rounds left. Leah fired, dropped one, and chambered her last round as she walked backward.

Suddenly, Leah was on the ground, pain shooting through her leg. She looked down and saw her ankle, caught in an exposed root, and bone jutting through her pants 6 inches above it. Every instinct was to shriek in pain, but she gritted her teeth and willed herself to focus on the charging infected. She aimed through her pain blurred vision and fired, taking down another.

Immediately, the third was upon her, rotten breath filling her nose as she struggled to keep him back and reach her knife.

-------------------

"Excuse me, sir, but I seem to have lost my trousers."

 

[Elckerlyc]

"Excuse me, sir, but I seem to have lost my trousers."
I looked the naked stranger up and down. It was evident that he had lost considerably more than just his trousers. Yet I hesitated to confirm his apparent request for confirmation. Obviously it was foremost an embarrassed cry for help. Help I could not provide, having lost my trousers - and somewhat more of my clothing - myself. You simply can't trust transporter-cells anymore these days.

-------------------

It is no use crying for help when you are the last man on Earth.

 

[Astro Pen]

It is no use crying for help when you are the last man on Earth. But you can drive any Mercedes or Ferrari you want out of the dealership and race across to Monte Carlo for one heck of a party. It was fortunate that the virus only attacked males.

The bedroom door cracked open and seven fingers curled around it.

 

[J Riff]

The bedroom door cracked open and seven fingers curled around it. Then, a Thumb. Two more fingers - then another thumb and finally, one more finger. Ten fingers, two thumbs. It wasn't adding up, so Parker moved silently in behind a French Portmanteau in the corner, a large 1940s art-deco wooden vintage coat-rack Portmanteau, and stood there, thinking nothing. Whatever it was at the door, it had 5 fingers per hand, and Parker didn't know anybody with five fingers on any hand. He glanced back at the door and now 17 fingers and 3 thumbs were visible. More appendages appeared, prompting Parker to take a powder down the fire-escape, before things got out of hand.

When the Alien ship landed, Ferd was in line at Walmart.

 

[BBF]

When the Alien ship landed, Ferd was in line at Walmart. He checked his watch; there were eleven minutes till the lottery ticket deadline. Ferd turned on his heels, rolled up his sleeves and strode purposely toward the flying saucer. More than enough time to sort this little mess out.

The windscreen shattered under the impact of a hail of bullets.

 

[sarap001]

The windscreen shattered under the impact of a hail of bullets. I shouted--okay, I squeaked--and flicked the wheel. I felt the heat on my ear as the old glass sliced into it, smaller shards visiting the same on my forehead and cheek. The Triumph went into a skid, roaring as I dropped the clutch and gunned it down a tight alley.

"Original glass, huh?" Chalmers asked pleasantly from the shotgun seat, digging into the duffel at his feet. He produced a bundle of wires and started fiddling with it.

"Mmhmm."

He pulled a roll of duct tape next and compressed the whole mess, rolling it once around an old brass Zippo he produced from his pocket. "No laminate in the sixties." With a faint grimace he plucked a shard from the proximal two inches of his shoulder.

"Nope." A ricochet pinged off of the mirror, rendering the not-too-distant visage of a black van positively bristling with pissed-off jackboots into a patchwork spiderweb.

"No appreciation for the classics..." he growled, flicking the thing casually over the shoulder. I floored it as the alley erupted in flames.

********************************

"Well," Jane concluded, holstering her revolver as the skeletal mammoth's shamble sped into a charge, "now we know bullets don't work."

 

[J Riff]

"Well," Jane concluded, holstering her revolver as the skeletal mammoth's shamble sped into a charge, "now we know bullets don't work."
She hoisted the can of Mammoth-repellant and opened the valve. 'Pssst..' said the empty can, and seconds later Jane was, effectively, paste. There would be no happy ending, no special party when the safari team returned to base camp; and Fenwick exhibited a grizzled scowl as he slunk back through the undergrowth, carrying Jane in a large manilla envelope, which he always brought along for occasions exactly like this one.

It looked like an ordinary Pigeon.

 

[Guttersnipe]

It looked like an ordinary Pigeon. Ordinary as in mechanical. But no, this was a rare bird--blood, bones, everything. You could make a fortune with this, the bounty hunter thought as he eyed it with his X-ray lenses. He quickly bagged it with his capturing gun and made sure the coast was clear. He jumped on his hoverbike and rode off into the night, seeking a Starnet Center.

The rabbit pulled the magician out of his hat.

 

[J Riff]

The rabbit pulled the magician out of his hat. The crowd made rabbit cheering noises, and the show ended. Fribblton, who played the magician in Flopsy's act, wondered for the thousandth time if he would ever escape the evil Rabbit Planet. His distress signal was still sending, and surely - yes! In the sky - a ship! Finally; just this once, and against all odds - a hoppy ending.

The reactor reached critical mass just as Fearmont returned to the station.

 

[Joshua Jones]

The reactor reached critical mass just as Fearmont returned to the station. The comm crackled to life. "Fu..." said the perpetually eloquent Fearmont before his ship was shredded by shrapnel moving at near relativistic speeds.

The command station fell silent at the spectacle. 100,000 lives, gone in a flash. Plus Fearmont and his crew.

"Right," Commander Parson said, taking control of the situation. "Epsilon colony is destroyed. Motel and Victor were last week. If the pattern holds, we have 3 days to figure out whose responsible. Vickers?"

"Sir?"

"Drag Carlson out of whatever hole in the wall she's hiding, sober her up, and get her in here. We need her."

---------------------------------

This was my first dinner date with a cetacean.

 

[Boneman]

This was my first dinner date with a cetacean. Shellfish was off the menu, naturally. And prawns, and oysters.

"Idiot! CETACEAN!"

Oh.... This was my first dinner date with a cetacean. I had no idea what she liked, because I had no idea what she was. If indeed, she was a she. But the waiter brought the menus and it whistled something he understood, so that was all right. I raised my glass, just as half the lake entered through the front window. Uh oh.... jealous partner.

Luckily I'd ordered surf and turf, and got out on the crest of a wave.


______________________________________________________________________

The blade that ended my life wasn't forged yet.

 

[J Riff]

The blade that ended my life wasn't forged yet. I was going to destroy it, by destroying it's creator - Fauntleroy Grabthar - utilizing the Time Gate perfected by Prof. Zircophiles. I set the controls for Dec. 31st, 2525 A.D. and materialized in Grabthar's garden as calculated. He was puttering round some Chysanthemums, which are one of my favorite flowers - and his were real beauties - normally I'd stop and admire such specimens they were top notch, and I really wanted to, I mean these were the best-looking 'Mums I'd seen in years, just fine, fine examples of their kind, truly lovely, but I had to kill Grabthar, so I did, using my LaserBlaster, being very careful not to scorch any of the 'Mums, and I left before any Terminators showed up, and I guess it worked because I'm still here alive today writing this to you. The Time Gate has been destroyed, no sequel possible, best wishes, all for now. - Dagmar

Any number of them could still be loose in the tunnels.

 

[Joshua Jones]

Any number of them could still be loose in the tunnels. They had to move, and do so quickly.

Unfortunately, moving quickly was rather challenging when waist deep in effluent.

"Marius, are you sure this is the right way?" Leah groaned, ignoring his shushing. "Some of us don't have waterproof armor..."

"Stop whining. We're almost there."

"Remember, this was your idea! You're washing out my trousers when we finally..."

The report of automatic fire in a confined area deafened Leah as something splashed in front of them. "Marius, you jacka..." she started before seeing what he was holding. A snake. A long snake. A long, zombiefied, water snake.

"Nope! F*ck this! Marius, you're on your own!"

-----------------------------------

"3...2...1... Move it! Move it now!"