There's a very noticable difference between 720p upscaled to 1080p and native 1080p, and I know it's a new hardware environment they are having to get used to but that applies equally to both consoles.
The simple fact is that the hardware specs on the PS4 are significantly better than the XB1 and that's not going to change.
I've watched the videos--there are differences, but on BF4, at least, they are mitigated to a degree by better anti-aliasing on the Xbox One. And I'd also point out that you are not the typical console gamer, but rather part of a very small subset of console gamers who will both notice the differences and care. Very few people will notice the difference or even have a baseline for knowing one exists.
As for difficulty developing for new launch titles applying "equally to both consoles"--that's just not true. If you paid attention to the gaming press for the 360/PS3 launches, and I assume you did, then you
know that systems are not equally difficult to develop for. PS3 anyone? Cell processor?
As I mentioned earlier, the issue with the Xbox One at present appears to be eSRAM, and that developers are struggling to apply it. That being the eSRAM that evens out the discrepancy in memory between the consoles.
Again, the PS4 architecture should convey a small-to-moderately higher ceiling for graphics over the long-term. But
both consoles are going to produce significant strides in output over the next 5 years, and I sincerely doubt that any of these will be major. As with this console generation, I suspect Sony's graphical advantages will be mostly apparent on exclusive titles.
Now, I do see some reasons to pick the PS4 over the Xbox One--better price, no forced motion-sensor bundle, cheaper online service. And I think if you couple this with the small-to-moderately higher ceiling for graphics and arguably better slate of exclusives, it does appear to be a better value. I'm not completely sold on that yet, but at present I'm leaning that way.