April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- VICTORY TO HAREBRAIN

[TheDustyZebra]

Rules:​

Write a story inspired by the chosen theme and genre in no more than 75 words, not including the title.​

One entry per person.​

All stories Copyright 2013 by their respective authors, who grant the Chronicles Network the non-exclusive right to publish them here.​

The complete rules can be found at Rules for the Writing Challenges.​

Contest ends at 11:59 pm GMT, April 23 2013​

Voting Ends at 11:59 pm GMT, April 28 2013​

You do not have to submit a story in order to vote -- in fact, we encourage all Chrons members to take part in choosing a winner.

The Magnificent Prize:​

The Dignified Congratulations/Grovelling Admiration of Your Peers and the challenge of choosing the next month's theme or genre.​

Theme:​

KITTENS​

Genre:​

TALL TALES​

This thread to be used for entries only. Please keep all comments to the Discussion Thread.​

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Tiny

Paul Bunyan had a bobcat named Tiny, not much bigger than a mastodon. Dug up Death Valley for her litter box, planted redwoods for scratching posts. One day Paul swam over to England, grabbed Big Ben in his fist, and swam home to tie it around Tiny's neck with a ribbon made from a circus tent. Now nobody in London knows what time it is, so they drink tea all day long. Funny folks there.

 

[AMB]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Three Little Kittens

Three little kittens came to my door, their story I know well.
The first one knocked, the second hallooed, the third rang on the bell.
'Please let us in,' these kittens cried. 'A mouse is making us wail.
'He's ever so big, and ever so bold, and razor-sharp is his tail.'
Alas! He caught the kittens three, 'twas at my door they fell;
One was struck, two requiem-ed, three rang the funeral knell.

 

[Verse]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Itty Bitty Kitty Invasion From Outer Space!

Xarglzog surveyed the blue-green planet on the holo-projector as his advisors approached.

“Lord, we studied the human’s communications and determined that which they revere.” The image on the projector changed. “This creature, in its juvenile form, is worshiped by them.”

“Then this shall be the form we take for the invasion!” Roared Xarglzog.

The President was surprised when the fluffy kitten materialised on his desk, more so when it spoke.

“I can haz World Domination?”

 

[nixie]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Why the Cat never achieved Fame​

Farmer Moon, had the most amazing animals. Their fame spread far and wide.

A summons to perform at the palace.

The day came, the cat played his fiddle, the dog laughed and clapped. The cow leaped over the farmer’s head.

The cat throw aside his fiddle and ran to the queen’s chair , the guards tried to catch him without success. Under he ran a squeal was heard and the cat emerged with a mouse.

 

[Talysia]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

My Grandmother's Cat

My Grandmother’s cat is a tabby called Lunn.
A kitten of skill, and a hunter bar none.
My Granny was proud when it went on the prowl
And spoke of the time that it took out an owl.
She said, after that, it moved on to mammals,
And brought back two dogs, some sheep, and then camels.
“She’s lying,” I thought, but then what do I know?
Especially when Lunn brought back a rhino!

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

ASTROMIT THE SCI-FI CAT

Astromit's the Sci-fi cat; he's called the Raygun King -
For he's the galactic mastermind outfoxing Mighty Ming.
He's the nemesis of Betelgeuse, the Space Cop's despair:
For when the portal's opened - Astromit's not there!

Astromit, oh Astromit, there's no one like our Astromit,
He's broken every science rule, he refutes the law of gravity.
His supersonic lightspeed would make old Einstein stare,
And when you plot his rocket trail - Astromit's not there!

 

[booksforlunch]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Puss the Brave
​

She sits on his carcass for her tale, her pose imperious, her tail beautifully arranged. All eyes are on her.


How the animal catcher lounges for her, a menace in thick gloves, the carrier to stuff her into a gaping black hole. How she evades him but stands her ground, how she attacks, how he falls to her claws and dies.


Does it matter that technically the steps killed him, his fall?


Not to her.

 

[Starbeast]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Tails of Two Kitties​

"Momma spanked me." (wipes tears)​

"Why?"​

"I fibbed to her."​

"Oh Wraith, you've gotta know how to lie, I do it all the time. A lie got me this pretty black dress. Mommy always believes anything I..." She turned slowly, looked up, and smiled weakly.​

"SO!" Mama cat put the kitten over her knee and lifted Dorothy's fluffy white tail.​

Dorothy never fibbed again, because she learned that liars eventually get it, in thee end.​

 

[paranoid marvin]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Vive le Chaton




Napoleon, a one-eyed kitt
Who lived along our street
Loved to recount the scraps he'd had
With everyone he'd meet

His territ'ry he did defend
With sharpened tooth and claw
And any uninvited guests
Were swiftly shown the door

That was until the fateful day
His home he did uproot
When Wellington, a pup, moved in
And gave young N. the boot

 

[stormcrow]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Yeah…Right, Soldier

So, last Friday – my squad were on r’n’r; went to that club on the Eastside, y’know, Kittens? Oh man, you shoulda seen it; the girls were givin’ it all that; wouldn’t leave us alone!

An’ then things started kickin’ off. Outta nowhere, the big Altarian Star Marines started makin’ trouble; bad mouthin’ the girls an’ shovin’ us around; course we piled in all gung-ho.

Neutralised ‘em all we did; free drinks all round, all night.

 

[Karn Maeshalanadae]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

The Purple Bobcat
​

I was out huntin’, when I heard the most awful yowlin’, comin' across a bobcat birthin’ a litter. It was cold out, so I helped her along, ‘til it gave birth to kits as purple as amethyst. The runt I took it back home, tryin’ to nurse back to health.
It healthy again, and stayed along to help with the huntin’, but I tell you, by God, it never did lose its purple fur.

 

[AnyaKimlin]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

The One That Got Away

‘You naughty kittens.’ Mama Cat surveyed her wet and bedraggled brood. ‘Where have you been?’

Kat avoided the swipe of her mother’s paw. ‘Up the creek to catch Grandpa’s fish.’

‘You know the one that was this big.’ Kit stretched his paws out wide.

Mungo grinned. ‘The one that got away.’

Little Kat sniggered. ‘And then Kit pushed Mungo in.’

‘Your naughty granddad telling tall tales.’ Mama Cat's whiskers twitched.

 

[ratsy]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Trials and Tribal-ations​

There I was, surrounded by dozens of kittens...no, hundreds of them. I was covered in duck feathers as was tradition and my pockets were stuffed with the ceremonial tuna. As they neared me I took out my laser pointer and directed it at the nearby ground....they rushed the red dot and I bolted on to the next challenge – Monkey Scrabble. I'm the first of my tribe to survive. Hail the Chief!​

 

[steve12553]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Mitten




She came by her name honest. Mitten. She had six claws on the left front paw and seven on the right. She used to jump onto the frontdoor screen and hang there looking out. She was less than a year old when she jumped to the top of a six-foot bookcase from the ground without a run. It wasn’t a problem until the day someone left the door open and she flew away.

 

[BigJ]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

One Small Kitten

Listen, children, to a story
‘Bout a kitten long ago
Travelling towards a mountain
Seeking trials to undergo

On the mountain lived a dragon
Last remaining of his kind
He’d defend his territory
He’d ensure that kitten died

Go ahead and hate your neighbour
Go ahead and blame instinct
Careful who you challenge
You might become extinct
Even if you’re Goliath
You’ll meet David today
On the bloody morning after
One small kitten strides away

 

[Juliana]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

The Devil’s in the Details​

“The Devil’s at the crossroads and won’t let me pass!”

The village pub went silent as Jim burst in. Young Bob rounded up the lads and they went for a look.

The Devil himself stood there, wailing in his white robe, short horns glinting in the moonlight.

Until Bob stepped up and pulled the washing line from the cow, untangling the wee kitten from some oversize undies.

Jim ain’t lived it down, yet!

 

[Culhwch]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

A Cat’s Tale

‘This?’ asked Old Softfoot, holding a claw to his clouded right eye. The kits nodded, breathless. ‘’Twas a gift from the Magpie King. But don’t worry, little ones, it was the last gift he ever gave...’

They oohed and ahhed throughout the story, jumping once or twice. Softfoot’s mate returned just as he finished.

‘Which tale was it this time?’ she asked, watching as the kits scampered off home. ‘Arthritis, or cataracts?’

Softfoot grinned. ‘Cataracts.’

 

[Luiglin]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

I’ll get my coat

“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Interrupting sheep”
“Interrupting shee…”
“BAAAAAAAA!” bellowed Sid in his friends face.
Bert’s cheeks bulged, his eyes wide in panic as a litter of lumps travelled up his throat and a small series of ‘meows’ escaped his lips. With an effort he gulped back, swallowing hard, the tiny bulges disappearing back down into his stomach.
“You ok?”
“Yea, for a moment there I was so scared I nearly had kittens!”

 

[barlennan]

Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Ailurophobia​

To her doctor, the weight loss and downy hair on her body meant anorexia: pills and counselling. But the down thickened into fur; orange striped with cream.

Then lumps, meaning a hospital appointment for scans and tests. The night before, she felt them itching, thought “This will be my last night in my own bed”.

Then awake, immobile, feeling them swarm beneath her quilt. Now panicking, dreading, guessing what would certainly emerge…

KITTENS! KITTENS! KITTENS!