April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE -- VICTORY TO HAREBRAIN

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Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

The Man Who Cried Mermaid


"It was a big cat, size of a labrador!" I said over my whisky.

"Another one that got away, Sandy?" Tam teased.

"Okay, I might have had a few when I saw a mermaid."

There was scratching at the trapdoor behind the bar.

"Ach," Shona said, eyes wide, "that'll be mama cat. Sandy only saw a wee kit."

Even I laughed, until I saw Shona's smile. I mean, she is half Fey, so anything's possible.
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Purrfect Riposte


"My cat's more intelligent than yours."

"Rubbish!"

"Okay, ask Fugly a question - go on."

"Cat's can't understand questions."

"Wanna bet? Fugly: who was the first Chairman of the People's Republic of China?"

"Mao."

"See? Told you. Here's another: Fugly, what was the name of the Kenyan rebellion group in the fifties?"

"Mau. Mau."

"That's pathetic."

"He's sensitive to criticism, you know. His tale's up, watch out for his claws."

"Fugly wouldn't hurt me - ow!"
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

TRUE STORY

Out Sunday driving in our new Smart Car, we stopped and bought two kittens
from an old woman. " You'll get one wish with each kitten," the old woman promised "Baby Girl".

WE drove on, Baby Girl giggled, "I wish we had a HUNDRED kittens."
Instantly the small car filled with kittens.

"HELP!, I can't control the car, use your wish Baby Girl," I shouted.

" I wish we had a BIGGER car------------------------------------------------------------AND A KA-ZILLION KITTENS------
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Escalation

She was a giant cat, in the most disproportionate of ways.
A great tail, tall as a grandfather clock. Whiskers long as your forearm.

One day junior trimmed her whiskers to test a myth. She became stuck behind the couch.
All you could see was that tail flicking, a metronome of patient revenge.

What junior later found in his sandbox horrified him.
To this day, he only feels safe in a room of rocking chairs.

.
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Furriest Purrson


Every time a job comes open in the industry, one of them is there.

We fight tooth and claw, but they have nine lives.

And they're right. The readers are lapping it up. Authors are rolling in catnip.

Today I tell them, “Rabbit and Zebra are asking questions. They have people wondering where it all came from.”

“Blacklist them. Because it's all about meeee, and all that matters is nnnowww.”

I'm telling you, it's happening.
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Feline Fatale

‘You flirt with all your clients?’

‘Only the skirts, Miss McKitie.’

She’d slunk into my office; more curves than a Fibonacci spiral; a golden mean of blonde.

Trouble.

‘I’ve been framed like a two-bit Rembrandt!’ She blew her Lucky in my face, ‘Damned pigeons. I’d never—’

‘But now McKitie’s is selling something called Pigestives?’ I coughed on her smoke, ‘I need some air, cookie.’

‘I’ll give you air.’ she cooed, pulling out a 38.
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

The Cat Who Would Be Queen



Lily scanned the accounts of MegaMog & Lilliputian. “Rats!”

“Too few of them?” Meg piped up.

“Why are you so happy?”

“Tomfoolery.”

“That’s all you think about,” said Lily. “As if you weren’t already barrel-shaped. Tom can’t even talk.”

“His eyes say all I need to know.”

“I’m speechless,” said Lily. “As will be your kittens.”


#


“Felix said his first word,” said Meg.

“Miaow?” asked Lily.

“No,” said Meg, her tail hoisted high. “Mum.”
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

Angels and Demons


The grim Horde spilled through a gap in time and reality; bringing madness and ruin. All who saw them despaired.

Save one; the Girl. She strode to meet them, defended only by her twin kittens; who balanced one upon each shoulder like furry pauldrons.

Every darkened heart that dared to raise arms against such cute fluffery was instantly smote by the guilt upon their own misanthropic souls.

And thus the battle for humanity was won.
 
Re: April 2013 -- SEVENTY-FIVE WORD WRITING CHALLENGE

CAT - A - STROPHE


Taller than a tree, taller than a house,
Taller than the tallest cat that ever frightened mouse.
Whiskers formed of silver, as wide as the Atlantic,
Ears and paws, teeth and claws, everything gigantic.

Regrettably he’s clumsy, especially in his play,
When he slopped his milk bowl, he formed the Milky Way.
A kit of great intelligence, inventor of the prism.
But never try to tickle him, the result is cataclysm.
 
The Tie-Breaker Poll is now closed, and we have a winner.
Congratulations to HareBrain!
 
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