Inferiority and Writing

[Erin99]

Just a quick question. How do you guys cope with feeling inferior to your author hero? I know in my heart that I just have to keep writing and writing and reading and practicing, but lately I just can't see how I can ever create something as amazing as my literary hero. My work feels lame in comparison, though I won't ever give up on it. But honestly, I will never write something so wonderful. Which isn't the best when I'm trying to write epic fantasy and I'm feeling like the characters and plot I love will never be as good as it needs to be... And my characters just feel fake these days, lame, and characterisation was once my strongest skill.

I'm in no rush to write my book (series), so I'm not pressured to create something right now (if I was, I wouldn't have spent 10 years on it already doing countless edits and rewrites). But I just know how special you have to be to get published...

Anyone have any advice outside of "grin and keep going"? How do you all cope?

 

[wulfsbane]

Hmmm... well a simple remedy, it seems, if you can convince yourself of it, is to not expect your first work to be as good as your hero author. Maybe just think of it as a stepping stone to that awesome story you will write someday.

 

[The Judge]

Read some published books with dreadful description, inadequate characterisation and woeful plotting, and then say "If that so-and-so could do it, so can I!


Really, just stop thinking about it. You're enjoying someone else's work at present. That's good. But you're not him, you're you. You've got to write your book your way. And there are plenty of people out there who apparently don't regard his work in the same light as you do, so they may think your characterisation is already better than his. Just write and stop comparing yourself to anyone.

 

[Erin99]

Thanks for the reply, wulfsbane (and hello! It's nice to see new members here!).

The problem is, I know my work won't be as good. I've been aware of that for a very long time, because authors rarely sell past a few thousand copies IF they get published. The worst problem is that I feel this story, this one I've spent so long working on, is one of those stories that is the author's best work, the one that sings to them and drives them insane until it's as perfect as it can be. It's one of those ideas, which is why I haven't given up on it and won't ever. Yet I know my version of perfect will never make it what it needs to be for the potential it has, because I'm just not good enough to weave all the plots and stuff...

 

[Erin99]

Read some published books with dreadful description, inadequate characterisation and woeful plotting, and then say "If that so-and-so could do it, so can I!


Really, just stop thinking about it. You're enjoying someone else's work at present. That's good. But you're not him, you're you. You've got to write your book your way. And there are plenty of people out there who apparently don't regard his work in the same light as you do, so they may think your characterisation is already better than his. Just write and stop comparing yourself to anyone.

Oh, how I wish I could go back to those days of reading terrible stories and being boosted by them!

I'm not trying to write like my hero - my own style's simply too strong to allow it and my world is its own thing - but I see what he's done and how he'd done it, and it makes me so awed... and terrified. I'd never had that before. Suddenly I feel so inferior and inadequate.


All I can do is keep writing...


I wish I could be content with my work again.

 

[allmywires]

I don't have an author hero, which helps.

I just try and write the best I can. I know I'm never going to be as good as other people out there but I'm better than, like, 50 per cent of the populace at least, maybe. Which is...comforting to some degree?

I have realised that the more you try and meta-analyse your own work the worse you'll feel about it. So I just write what I love first and foremost and try not to freak out/breakdown on such a regular basis as I used to.

 

[ctg]

Leisha, if you see how things are down and you understand why they are done in that way then what is stopping you? The answer is nothing. You write your own stories and make your own characters and if people like them then you will know. They will show it to you one way or another.

 

[Hex]

The way I cope with not having glorious, curly hair or huge blue eyes or legs that could sink a thousand icebergs.

X writes like that, I write like me.

Unlike the curly hair, though, the longer I write, the better I get (I hope) and the more different things I write, the more I learn. So, maybe one day I'll write something that comes somewhere near to some of my many writing heroes.

But, you know, maybe not.

ps: I've had people saying lovely things about my work recently. I've been ridiculously lucky. And one of the things they said was "How did you think of all that? Your world is just crazy." and I guess none of my writing heroes do crazy. They tend to do lyrical and beautiful instead And I wasn't trying to do crazy.

My point -- and there is one -- is that it's maybe the things you take for granted about how you think and what you do that makes what you write Leisha rather than the person you admire. And maybe others will think that what you do is better -- though you probably never will because he's your hero and the whole point of heroes is that we can never be as good as they are.

 

[Jo Zebedee]

Leisha, I read The Time Traveler's Wife and felt the same. There was no way my characters were ever going to live like that -- and, like you, characterisation is my strong point, so it was a big whammy -- and I'd never write anything that would move people so much. (It wasn't helped by the fact that, technically, the book had flaws esp. around following who said what to who, and it was still what I wanted to write.)

I gave myself a bit of space from it, which helped. And then I stopped trying to emulate, and decided just to do my best. Which will never be so wonderful that it's a classic, or anything close, but might be okay.

And the bottom line is -- could you stop writing it? If you say no - and I suspect you will - then you have your answer. It's there for you to tell, and only you can tell it. Do your best, and know it'll always have been the best it could have been because no one else can do it.

Edit -- and what Hex says. I read lots of things I love, and can't write them, cos they're not me. I'd like to, I can tell what I like, but I can't.

 

[Ursa major]

Just a quick question. How do you guys cope with feeling inferior to your author hero? I know in my heart that I just have to keep writing and writing and reading and practicing, but lately I just can't see how I can ever create something as amazing as my literary hero. My work feels lame in comparison, though I won't ever give up on it. But honestly, I will never write something so wonderful. Which isn't the best when I'm trying to write epic fantasy and I'm feeling like the characters and plot I love will never be as good as it needs to be... And my characters just feel fake these days, lame, and characterisation was once my strongest skill.

Then just imagine what it must be like for the well regarded author who cannot seem to reproduce his or her highpoint in a subsequent novel. Not only are they falling short, other people expect them to maintain that high standard.

Anyone have any advice outside of "grin and keep going"?

Yes!

Grin and keep going....

More seriously, at least you can now see where your writing may be falling short, giving you a chance to improve it. When we all started out, we probably had no idea of all the mistakes, of various kinds, we were making.

 

[Abernovo]

The problem is, I know my work won't be as good...The worst problem is that I feel this story, this one I've spent so long working on, is one of those stories that is the author's best work, the one that sings to them and drives them insane until it's as perfect as it can be...Yet I know my version of perfect will never make it what it needs to be for the potential it has, because I'm just not good enough to weave all the plots and stuff...

Okay, so you're not good enough yet, maybe. Write it, edit, rewrite it, sand, varnish and polish it. By that time, you will be down the road, more experienced, having improved your craft. Then, who knows?

I don't have a writing hero, as such, although I do admire several writers. As to being dissatisfied with my work, it's a constant with me. However, I recently saw a repeatedly published author (bestseller list, lauded by fans and critics) comment that she had just sent off her latest manuscript to the publishers, after required edits, and she was still worried that it wasn't good enough. So, you're in fine company.

Plus, many of us are our own worst critics. What might be donkey droppings to oneself might be a rough diamond to another, just needing cutting and refining. Best of luck, Leisha.

 

[BetaWolf]

A couple of bits: Leisha, I assume you mean Robert Jordan? Based on what you've posted here, I'm guessing that's who you're talking about as your hero. Whether I'm right or not, read his or her earliest published work. In short, if you see an artist's work at his best, when he's matured his craft, then yeah you can ask how can I compete with that? When I started writing, I read Tolkien's earliest work, from his notebooks published posthumously by his son. It's fun in its own right, but it's also half a century before he was the toast of the literary world.

In Jordan's case, it's The Fallon Blood, about an Irish adventurer in eighteenth-century South Carolina. I haven't picked it up myself, in part because of the awful reviews. He wrote it a decade before the first Wheel of Time books.

The other point is that you are starting out. It will take a long time to figure out what works and what story you are trying to tell. GRRM says a lot about young writers here: http://io9.com/5971432/great-quotes-about-writing-from-game-of-thrones-author-george-rr-martin

Basically, create your own world and keep writing.

 

[Montero]

Be the best "you" you can be.

Not everyone wants to read Shakespeare, and of those who read Shakespeare, not all want to do it all the time. All hail variety.

And from the dept of almost irrelevant information (to paraphrase Bujold) I gave up on the Time Traveller's wife - both the book and the film.

 

[allmywires]

ps: I've had people saying lovely things about my work recently. I've been ridiculously lucky. And one of the things they said was "How did you think of all that? Your world is just crazy." and I guess none of my writing heroes do crazy. They tend to do lyrical and beautiful instead And I wasn't trying to do crazy.

My point -- and there is one -- is that it's maybe the things you take for granted about how you think and what you do that makes what you write Leisha rather than the person you admire. And maybe others will think that what you do is better -- though you probably never will because he's your hero and the whole point of heroes is that we can never be as good as they are.

It's not until complete strangers tell you they're a 'fangirl' or you made them cry that you can possibly let go of the idea that everything you've written is crap. Being so close to our work is such a curse! I often wish I could wipe my memory and read my WIPs from scratch just to objectively judge how good a job I've done.

 

[Hex]

Even then, I suspect, you fear you'll never write anything like it again.

 

[allmywires]

Well yeah, there is always that. The eternal quest for constant validation...

 

[Brian G Turner]

Just a quick question. How do you guys cope with feeling inferior to your author hero? I know in my heart that I just have to keep writing and writing and reading and practicing, but lately I just can't see how I can ever create something as amazing as my literary hero.

What, you mean the guy who is the second biggest selling fantasy writer ever, with 44 million in book sales according to the link you provided from 2008, and who has entire conventions held for his fanbase?

There are a lot of good authors who come nowhere near him in terms of popularity, but are still very respectable.

Besides, don't you think Jordan might have been awed by Tolkien?

If it helps, I can always try ripping WoT apart for you ...

 

[Erin99]

Wow, I had to go rest on the couch for a while... and there are so many replies! I can't reply to everybody, but thank you. I wish there was an easy answer to my problem. I suspect it's as I thought: keep writing, reading, and not thinking about it. If I think about it, I'll never dare send my work off to agents one day in the future, cos I'll know I'm never good enough.


I'm not a new writer, though, by any means. I forget that some of you don't know me here even though I used to be around a lot years ago. I write all the time, whenever I can. I've written for 11 years, and one of my novelettes will be published in a year or so (the only one I've ever actually sent off in the hope of publication). But short story writing, while interesting, is not where I want to go. It's a whole different ball game. I have a novel I need to write, and I thought I was hugely happy with it until reading (yep, you guessed it) Jordan. I don't want to write like him (though we do have some similarities that I can't help), and while I love his world and characters I a) know he has flaws, and b) my story is nothing alike and I wouldn't want it to be. But just the gazillions of plots he writes and interweaves, the way he makes his world seem so real... it leaves mine feeling... I don't know. Lacking, I suppose.

Then just imagine what it must be like for the well regarded author who cannot seem to reproduce his or her highpoint in a subsequent novel. Not only are they falling short, other people expect them to maintain that high standard.

Ursa, I've often thought of that. The pressure for top authors to create something as great as their greatest work is... How can they cope with that? Rowling's had a bucketload of that, I think. Scary notion, to think that people will expect you to stay consistently good if you're good enough to get published once...

 

[Erin99]

What, you mean the guy who is the second biggest selling fantasy writer ever, with 44 million in book sales according to the link you provided from 2008, and who has entire conventions held for his fanbase?

There are a lot of good authors who come nowhere near him in terms of popularity, but are still very respectable.

Besides, don't you think Jordan might have been awed by Tolkien?

If it helps, I can always try ripping WoT apart for you ...

Thank you! Just gave me a huuuuge chuckle! No, I could list Jordan's flaws myself, especially in his first book. Yet his work rises above them in so many ways. Like in the ways he handles multiple plotlines and creates a world so vast and believable, the way his races are so different and unique...

I like that you say Jordan was awed by Tolkien. True, true... yet he had the skills to make an even better plot, with more plotlines and shocks and amazing moments...

 

[Jo Zebedee]

You know, Hex was right about feedback. I have had nowhere near the lovely comments - from professionals - as her, but both editors and readers here have been incredibly positive. And now it's out there, I've had enough nearlies etc to give me hope I'm not totally crap. So, maybe, getting it out - you've sold one, why not try with agents? I have found it a rollercoaster, yes, but getting a readthrough made all of that worth it...