Baby aliens - not so cute....

[abraves247]

I tended to look right over the long numbers without really reading them. I liked that you started adding 3/3 this made it easier but I had to go back and reread a couple of times to remember which one was which. If you add something to their names like Alpha-3 it may make it easier to remember. I don't know if this will work for you but it is an idea.

I found myself feeling sorry for 2/3 and wondering what would become of him. It was easy to care about these characters and I found myself wanting to read more to see how things would end up.

Good job

 

[Bowler1]

Thank you, abraves247, I've dropped the long numbers on the well edited version as it clearly wasn't working, I had to be told of course, but I try to listen. I was attempting to tug some emotional strings, it's good to know I did, thank you.

 

[clippedwolf]

Names are important.
Perhaps you could spell out the "names" phonetically. Perhaps 2/3 could be "Two-Three", or "Two-oh-Three" (two of three).
258C-1/3-H4 would read out phonetically as "Two-Five-Eight Charlie dash One-Three dash H-Four. Say it out loud, the fewer syllables the better.
My guess is Two-Five-Eight is the series classification for it's general purpose, One-Three is the "individual" model, and H-Four is the code that tells it's location. The Nurse is 245/H4 so it must be location.
Following that logic, and I'm making a lot of assumptions, look at 167/HK2/H4, it's former name. One-Six-Seven could be a series of experiments to meet a certain criteria, HK Two is the individual and it's batch, and the name is still ending with H4 because the location is the same.
So that was fun. I like trying to figure out codes with a few clues. And I could be dead wrong on every count. So, their names are codes. I don't need a printout of what all the codes are, but I would like to understand what these character's codes, their "names" mean. It's the elephant in the room, and it takes me out of the story.
Stay constant with ' - ' or ' / '.

Just a thought, do with it as is best for your story.
167-HK2-H4 was learning more each day; getting stronger and growing bigger all the time. Unlike previous experimental models, it met the required criteria so two more like it were queued for production, and it was re-designated 258C-1/3-H4. It's "siblings" were 258C-2/3-H4 and 258C-3/3-H4.

 

[Bowler1]

I've simplified the formula for the names, but yes, I agree, it has to be something the reader can take part in, more so as 2/3 grows up. Not so machine like as they are organic, but hey, it's SciFi and I do have robots in, so all bases are covered. Thank you, clippedwolf, your with me on my idea - it's not an easy one to get right. I'm havin fun trying, and that's enough for me right now.

And welcome, I look forward to seeing your writing.

 

[clippedwolf]

I have posted something. -_-
I choose to write it in a similar style to the Grimm brother's tales and have gotten no responses yet. Arguably, a poor style choice.