Discussion -- 300 Word Challenge #10

[stormcrow]

Thank You for the review Starbeast; I'm glad you enjoyed my offering!

 

[Mr Orange]

Thanks a lot for the review starbeast much appreciated

 

[ratsy]

Thanks for the words SB

 

[Tywin]

JJ - Your story hints at a much larger setting/universe, and leaves me wanting to learn more. Who build the scarecrow, and why?

 

[Starbeast]

Thanks for the nice comments, Starbeast & Phyrebrat!

You are very welcomed Johnnyjet.

Thank You for the review Starbeast; I'm glad you enjoyed my offering!

Absolutely. You're welcome Stormcrow.

Thanks a lot for the review starbeast much appreciated

You are very welcomed Mr Orange.

Thanks for the words SB

You're welcome Ratsy.

 

[TheDustyZebra]

Wow, BigJ. Wow.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

BigJ -- a haunting tale of introspective horror

 

[Starbeast]

BigJ - Plunge into the darkness of maddness with this facinating story that stirs the senses, and entertains in this grim entry. A crow is the hearld from hell that awakens the demons of the mind of a psychotic loner. Creepy cool.

 

[Mr Orange]

Wow, BigJ. Wow.

what he said..... bigj rocks up late in the day with what must be a massive contender..... great use of 75 words to build up to madness

 

[Mr Orange]

what he said..... bigj rocks up late in the day with what must be a massive contender..... great use of 75 words to build up to madness

i did of course mean 300 words, not 75..... couldn't see how to edit my post??

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

JordanSC5 -- a dark tale of love gone very bad indeed

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

reiver33 -- a mysterious and evocative vision of the transhuman

 

[johnnyjet]

Thanks for the nice comments, Tywin. There is a larger story behind this tale that is still in its primordial stages. Your comments and the encourging words of others (TDZ, Victoria, Starbeast & Phyrebrat) will hopefully motivate me to move forward with the idea.

 

[Victoria Silverwolf]

Phyrebrat -- a unique variation of the time travel story with a haunting mood

 

[Perpetual Man]

johnnyjet – A story that for me started as though it was going to be something almost frightening, but as it was told it grew in the telling and became something so much more. A wistful look back at bygone days, and a look ahead to the corrosion that time brings. I don't think it matters whether something is little more than a failing machine, it could well be an allegory for life in general. The passing of time and the weakness that comes at the end, the feeling that you are no longer what you were and that you are no longer necessary. But, and it is a big but there is something more, there is the unspoken bond of friendship, the feeling of friends sticking together and the true depth of doing what can only be done by friends, the pulling of the plug at the end.

BigJ – Another excellent entry. In this case it is one that I found chilling and made me ask the question 'Is the raven really there?' Either answer is acceptable, and each one is as chilling in it's own way. If the bird is real, then it is some kind of demonic force driving a man to commit the most heinous of deeds, possibly ones to add to things he has done before. On the other hand, if the raven is not there it is some kind of psychotic delusion, perhaps the heart of a darkness that drives a serial killer to commit his crimes. Terrifyingly brilliant.

Jordan – A story of the slow destruction of love, and how such a great emotion can slowly be twisted into something so much worse. But it is more than that as well, it is a tale of punishment and retribution. In my mind the story is circular. The events told are thing that have all happened in the past, and the fitting punishment if for our protagonist to sit there and live them again and again.
I particularly liked the grit in the eye at the start, it really added a frustrating and painful start to the story, probably as good a punishment as any.

reiver33 – Some wonderful description here, the one that stuck out from the word go was the description of the crow, closely followed by the description of the community. It felt as though there was a whole world caught up in the words, a society conveyed wonderfully in three words. I could see this world easily, which added a depth to the story. There is the mystery at what happened with the lightning strike, and our protagonist too is imbued with a bit more depth by the end. Was he a man made into machine, or was he always that way? The union between man and bird at the end is fitting, and the last line seals the story perfectly.

Phyrebrat – It seems that this month has inspired some truly excellent responses, because they quality of stories if magnificent, filled with nuance and invention, and this one is no different. A scientist who is determined to travel back in time to the point he was happiest, accompanied by a crow. But the genius here is that when he travels back he only has a moment of glory... but it destroys his mind, leaving him with the mental capacity of a child, the irony being that the age he has become, is what he yearned for. Clever enough, but the hint at the end my lead us to believe that the mind is still free roaming time, happy in its bliss. Whether this is the case, or whether he has just obliterated the unhappiness from his mind it gives the story a dark wonder. The fact that it is told by the crow is just the icing on the cake.

 

[johnnyjet]

Thanks, PM, for the insightful comments on my story.

Phyrebrat, your story is truly outstanding, evocative, & powerful! Well done. (You don't have to hate me anymore.)

 

[Perpetual Man]

A pleasure!

Just looking over (my still unfinished) entry, and a crow landed on the window-ledge and cawed at me.

Nearly had to take a toilet break...

 

[Bowler1]

A pleasure!

Just looking over (my still unfinished) entry, and a crow landed on the window-ledge and cawed at me.

Nearly had to take a toilet break...

As long as there are no zombies in the loo, I'd count that as a win if I were you!

It rhymes - wow!

 

[Starbeast]

Thanks for the nice comments, Tywin. There is a larger story behind this tale that is still in its primordial stages. Your comments and the encourging words of others (TDZ, Victoria, Starbeast & Phyrebrat) will hopefully motivate me to move forward with the idea.

You're welcome, and good luck to you with your story Johnnyjet.

Just looking over (my still unfinished) entry, and a crow landed on the window-ledge and cawed at me.

Nearly had to take a toilet break...

Whoa. Sorry to hear that bird scared you Man. A visit from a crow would have inspired me to rewrite my entry to meld with the mood I was in during the encounter.

"There was a tapping, a tapping at my lavatory door. It was a crow.

It cawed, Lenore! And I replied, occupied! Bother me nevermore!"



Anyhoo, on with the reviews.


JordanSC5 - A tale that is like approaching black clouds coming to steal the light of day. This is a marvelous medieval offering that drifts downward from dismal drama into horrifing hell. Good stuff.

Reiver33 - Stunning science fiction story that led me into one direction, only to change course and surprise me with another. Remarkably written and jolts you with a lightening bolt of entertainment.

Phyrebrat - Wow, another incredible drama that flows with intenseity and dazzles with fantastic science fiction/fantasy. A crow narrates this deeply darkened tale, like a modern day Edgar Allan Poe story.



I am blown away by these three new entries. Excellent writing, and all immesely fun to read. Plus the others before this triple review were tremendously cool and packed with great ideas and superb in the craft of writing.

I can't even imagine, what to expect next. Great stuff everyone! Keep it going!

 

[Perpetual Man]

And that's mine up.

I have no problem posting these challenges normally, but this month, I think I was actually daunted. The quality of entries so far has been through the roof, and for the first time I felt as though I could not reach the standard already set.

Congratulations to all for raising the bar so high.

I had trouble with the title for mine - I knew what I wanted, but translation programs had a field day with warping it when you tried to translate it back to English.

So it probably is nothing like it was meant to be...

But I'm sure you clever lot will get the gist of it